Two Days In Internet Darkness...

My Words Overfloweth...


Those of you that occasionally lurk around my little slice of cyberspace this part of the Internet probably noticed my rare silence on Sunday and Monday.

Sorry...

I admit that I sometimes miss writing and have an occasional single day gap once in a while in my never ending diatribes and commentary, but generally that's because what I would have to say would be like acid dripping onto my keyboard and pouring through your DSL or Cable modem onto your computer screen--thus I think it best that I just keep myself to myself on those rare occasions.

Then there's the couple of periods of time over the past three years when I was sitting around in a hospital for WEEKS at a time with tubes sticking out of every bodily orifice...and with the doctors and nurses running out of places to stick tubes and making their own holes in my body (I once had FIVE IV's at the same time.)

Fortunately this week's absence was an exception to those two rules...we were all simply the victims of circumstances where I ended up in a Condo that was supposed to have Internet but the WEP password was unavailable and I decided that Cell Phone blogging was inadequate.

Just like people going through some kind of self imposed 12-step program, I decided to try to live all day in the "real" world for a couple of days and let the Internet take care of itself for a change.

After my hands stopped shaking, I found the experience to be rather enlightening.

When I got back home I learned that politicians democratic constituency stupid people were still acting stupid and the libertarians smart people that are the producers and achievers of the world were still being assaulted for being successful and paying their own way in life, and as a result I have a HUGE backlog of things to say about things which have happened over the past week.

I'm doing my best to stay focused here and get some work done, but please excuse me if I erupt into conniption fit like shrieking at any moment...

Back To Reality?

Culture Shock...


Sigh...

I spent two and one half hours just after sunrise on Monday morning standing virtually alone on the beach watching two surf fishing rods I occasionally baited with shrimp or squid.

I probably didn't see a DOZEN people over that entire period of time, because most people were packing and heading home from the long Labor Day holiday weekend.

I also only managed to feed a few small fish...I didn't actually catch anything (caught two unidentified species the day before), but the few hours alone on the beach looking at the Gulf of Mexico was worth every damn penny of the $17 stupid government tax "weekend non-resident fishing license" and $5 worth of bait.

Things were noticibly calmer all day on Monday with the exidous of tourists, and we enjoyed a late brunch I cooked in the condo and ate left over pizza from my three pizza effort Sunday night for the Classmates "official" 50th get together.

We were packed and on the road by 8 AM EST and back in Knoxtown with the Chrysler picked up from the shop and the rental car paid for by 5:30 PM, and after drinks and dinner at a local watering hole we came back home and I collapsed for the evening knowing I had wrung every single moment of fun possible out of the past seven days--at least for someone of my ever advancing age.

So now it's time to turn my attention to the matters of the real world--as real as I ever allow myself to deal with these days--and get some stuff done professionally and do some more work on the turbo pup compound. The Turbo Pup's getting a new doggy door and Pat's getting some new bi folding closet doors and a new kitchen floor.

And me?

I get to work and sweat and pay for the material to complete the aforementioned projects.

I guess that it's time to start drawing and estimating now...Y'all have a lovely day...if you will...

Back Home

Delivered From Earthly Paradise/Internet Hell

And The Celebration Continues...

Florida Hospitality


After a smooth two hour car ride across southern Alabama and the Florida Panhandle we found ourselves sitting on the marina waterfront in Destin in time for lunch yesterday.

The first blackened fish sandwich of the trip was then consumed just in time to do a little wandering around the docks looking at fishing opportunities later in the weekend, then by mid afternoon the temperature and humidity managed to run us back inside the car for a journey over to my friend Roy's place to drink gallons of frozen margaritas and to witness enough food for a small army being prepared for small group of 9 in attendenance.

By 10:30 PM (way past me and Missy the Turbo Pup's normal bedtime) I had to excuse myself and crash for the evening. Oddly I managed to sleep for SEVEN HOURS IN A ROW for once...a testimony to being old I guess as twenty years ago I'd have probably just shifted gears and stayed up past midnight and slept in to 9 AM.

Today finds us visiting with some extended family members in the morning before moving on over to the coast for "Phase III" of the never ending 50th celebration.

I guess last night was sort of the "pre-season game" for what is going to ensue over the next couple of days.

Stay tuned to this channel for further updates...

The First Day Of My Second Half Decade

The Celebration Continues...


I'm pleased to report that the Lower Alabama portion of my 50th birthday festivities concluded as a great success...with Thursday afternoon having been spent poolside and an early Mexican dinner with Mom and the girls.

Now later today the CHS Class of '77 group 50th birthday party begins down on the Florida Gulf Coast.

I mention this publicly so everyone in the immediate vicinity of Pensacola and Ft. Walton Beach will have time to remove all of their elderly relatives and small children from harms way.

We're not sure of the total attendance, but people are flying in from as far away as Utah for the "unofficial" event which has been planned by my fellow "Mancamp" members for about 6 months now.

I sure hope that the weather holds up for us.

Pat and the Turbo Pup and I will be heading south later this morning...stopping overnight at my friend Roy's home where we're threatened with being plied with Margaritas and a Low Country Shrimp Boil.

I also just learned that Missy the Turbo Pup will be participating in what I'm calling the first annual Shalimar Mini Dachshund Races and Rodeo (SMDRR).

It should be interesting watching four little dogs with a total weight of probably something less than 50 pounds spar and joust for dominance and attention.

Then Saturday morning we're jumping across the bay to Santa Rosa Island and our final beach front Condo destination on Saturday.

There one could witness the glorious spectacle of a bunch of middle aged guys standing and laying around drinking and telling lies stories and competing in strenuous events like farting and belching competitions.

And the girls will probably spend their time sitting around by the pool or on the beach looking disgusted at us while whispering things under their breath like "what was SHE thinking when she bought that bathing suit?"

Do I know women...or WHAT?

I was going to bring my Frisbee along with me but had second thoughts because I didn't want to risk having to have someone call 911 for me after about 15 minutes trying to run and catch it.

Things have sure changed over the past 33 years, but it will be fun to see everybody again...and I can't wait to show the girls how good I look in my new Speedo...

The Big "Five Oh"

Reflections On The Past Half Century...Resolutions For The Next...


Oh...I don't knowwww...

Where to start writing this morning. There's so much to say.

(And even more to keep to myself...I might add.)

I guess you could say that my life thus far has fallen into more or less four very distinct phases. As a matter of public record, I feel like enumerating them for you this morning before I forget any more of the details.

All of this stuff leads up to a little after midnight here on the morning of September 3rd, 2009 when the calendar says I've been breathing air for FIFTY YEARS.

So lets get down to details...To begin with, the first 17 years of my life we'll call my "Embryonic phase."

The characteristics of this phase of my personality and antics were shaped and moulded under the stern hand of my dear Mother and evil eye of my departed Father.

A solid dose of primary education in the southern part of George Wallace's 1960's/1970's Alabama delivered with a generous portion of "fire and brimstone" at the local Methodist Church should have had me well prepared to go forth into the world as a sold American citizen and moral example for generations to come.

If you think that...you'd be pretty much WRONG by many peoples' standards.

Not only did I corrupt myself and aid and abet in the corruption of those around me, but in moving from LA to Atlanta under the guise of attending college at Georgia Tech and start an engineering career, I have to admit that the next 16 years represent what I today call my "wild buck phase."

Roaming the streets and interstates of Hotlanta in a Firethorn Red Chevy Camaro in the days when the City was still really a giant small town on steroids, I hate to admit that my education suffered under the stresses of making time to throw Frisbee in Piedmont Park and attend various sporting events and concerts.

Sleeping took up a good deal of my time also...usually during the day rather than at night. There was also a two year stint in the part time Navy Reserve where I got to ride a Helicopter Carrier around the South China Sea and the Philippines---but that's another whole story for another day.

I somehow managed to survive all that and finally stumble through getting a degree and by late in the 1980's I found myself with a wife and a mortgage and two car payments and a couple of cats and God knows what other stuff the American Dream causes you to think you have to have.

I was working for the owner of an OEM company in Buckhead which I had helped triple in size of to over $3 million in annual revenue, but then he went and hired his son...fresh out of college with a "Communications Degree"...to come into the "Engineering" business, and miraculously there went my VP of Engineering promotion (The son is still president of that company today.)

So I walked out the door shortly thereafter never to return.

Thus, reaching some level of full blown raging insanity self-assured ego mania, after taking a year off and working as an independent consultant, I entered my "staggering entrepreneur phase" in the fall/winter of 1990/1991 as I filed my first Articles of Incorporation documents with the state of Georgia and bought my own Desk, Giant barrel assed leather "Executive" chair and first Laptop Computer. (I paid near $4K for that set-up and saw the value climb to over $100K when my business partner got through screwing me....but I did keep the chair when we dissolved the Corporation)

That first independent businessman "staggering entrepreneur" phase (there's a second one...just wait a minute) lasted for another eight and one half years with the formation of yet another company...until late 1998/early 1999 when I had the misfortune to have to abandon ship to bankruptcy when a couple of people decided they needed my money to pay their vendors and employees more than I needed it to pay mine.

For some reason the Federal Bankruptcy courts agreed. Of course the wife went away some time before the money did so she could take her fair share of my earnings.

I pretty sure that I must be some kind of bankruptcy expert by now if anyone wants to hire me--having personally set through the paperwork of no less than five different firms and individuals including my own...

All of that mish mash finally brings us up to the late 1990's/early 2000's, where you'd find me beginning my first of ten years of what I call my second childhood phase "Pirate Phase."

I unabashedly report that the "Pirate Phase" is the ultimate culmination of and implementation of years of research conducted in taverns, bars, restaurants, jails, boat stores, marinas, whore housesstrip clubs, churches, shopping malls, courtrooms, and water front properties all over the planet from The Philippines to the Caribbean.

Don't get all up tight about some of those listings, I say you got to see everything before you can say you've seen everything and I probably have a shorter to-do list in that avenue of intellectual endeavor than most people these days.

That said, it's hard to explain to people exactly what my job description was during that period and continuing almost to this very moment.

Some might call it "unemployed" which has actually been true for short segments of that time...BUT...generally it's been VOLUNTARY UNEMPLOYMENT i.e. "semi-retired" as I like to call it.

I have developed the unique theory that when there's no paying work, simply find the closest large body of water, pack a suitcase, and then do this...

Go on VACATION.

Works quite well for me.

Oops...I forgot to mention earlier my idea of instead of just going on VACATION, of actually moving to the Beach and putting most of my money in a piece of coastal property...nothing fancy...just whatever can be afforded for safe keeping of the funds. I did that for about a year back in 2002(unfortunately the investment was better in 2002 than it is today.)

It worked for me...you should try it when things turn around in the real estate market.

The bottom lines for me is to say "Why sit around worrying," as long as your resume is hanging out there on the Internet and in a bunch of Head Hunter/Recruiter's hands.

Another idea I've tried is to take a giant chunk of my last liquid dollars, fly to South Florida, then buy a big old boat with a kitchen and a head (bathroom for all you Land Lubbers), THEN JUST LEAVE for a while.

But Virgil..You ask: "As opposed to VACATION, how is LEAVING different?"

And further "Just WHERE would I leave to if I were so inclined?"

The answer is to simply leave where ever you are right now and go ANYWHERE else.

You don't have to know where you're going or make any reservations that way. It's really pretty simple. On a boat you just end up where ever you are when the sun sets and as long as there is water under your hull(a very fundamental detail on a boat) you toss out our anchor and fire up the blender.

I tried it for a while in the Florida Keys, and it worked reasonably well when my engines weren't malfunctioning (for all you land lubbers...boat engines are always malfunctioning), but then some assholes decided they needed my boat more than I did and made it disappear while a was back visiting Atlanta.

Fortunately I didn't spend everything I had on the boat but I did have to come back to the real world again and attempt to try to figure out what to do with myself...

AGAIN.

I knew I hated the traffic and what Atlanta had grown into...and I had to get back to the water in order to be a Pirate...I know...I'll MOVE TO AN ISLAND, they can't STEAL and entire island.

So I did...

But this time I didn't go solo. I managed to con my girl Pat into going along with me. We packed everything up in a truck and had it hauled south to the Georgia Coast, and while she flew back and forth to Chicago and telecommuted from our Condo on a Golf course (I don't play golf) I spent my time wandering the Island on a bicycle and wondering If I shouldn't get back into the engineering business again.

One thing led to another, and after nearly five fabulous years on our little Island I was ready to come back to my chosen profession. Thus the beginning of my "Second Coming as an Entrepreneur" Phase.

After a false start with a company that moved us away from the Atlantic to the banks of the mighty Tennessee River, today finds Pat retired after 28 years with the same company and me scrapping and marketing and managing to sell enough of my time to keep the financial engine of our household running. Some weeks I make enough to last three months and some months I don't make a penny, but that's the way things are when you're in business for yourself and that's something people like our Politicians refuse to understand.

We're still looking at trial starting a Tailgate Catering business this fall to test some concepts and the menu, and I've also got another couple of irons in the fire with old college friends' companies and looking into incorporating a specialty company serving a unique manufacturing enterprise I've been asked to serve.

Things aren't perfect, but each day brings improved health (I'm avoiding talking about several near death medical experiences here this morning), a reasonably stable emotional and financial existence in spite of "the economy" and the current political climate, and most importantly I'm surrounded by the women in my life that love me...My Mom, my partner of eight years Patricia, my Sister Virginia, and my Little Missy the Turbo Pup.

I guess the main thing I've learned in my research over the past 50 years is that when a man has a family like mine, he's wealthy no matter what the balance sheet says when it's all said and done.

I am truly blessed and I know it.

That said, it's time to go take a nap I guess.

Regards Y'all

Strange Quite Car...New Computer & Phone For Mom...

Tired As Usual...


Well folks, we made it to LA in what turned out to be a surprisingly uneventful high mileage trip (34 MPG) in the battery powered Camry.

I took along some extra C Cells but didn't have to get them out of the suitcase.

Of course it started raining within 24 hours of our arrival so I'm glad we spent yesterday afternoon at the pool rather in front of the dying computer Blogging.

I almost have Mom's flashy new monster HP laptop registered and configured and we got her into a cell plan that doesn't end up costing her $50 per call (she never uses her phone) and now it time to whip up a batch of chicken and skirt steak Fajitas before crashing for the evening.

I have no idea what's happening on the news or in the internet/bloggosphere but if I can get the wireless connection on this thing working with the router I'll probably produce a good late night rant tonight.

I feel the steam pressure building in my head right now...

On The Road to LA (Lower Alabama)

Talk To Y'all Later...

Eco-Friendly Beach Bash

Touring The Gulf Coast In A "Hybrid"


Well, we tossed the old Chrysler 300 into the shop at the local dealer today and agreed to give them something near a grand to replace some important parts in the power steering system under the hood.

I guess that as painful as that $1K sum is it's also the first money we've spent in 2-1/2 years except the purchase price and oil changes/tire rotations so that's pretty good in my book.

Did I mention that we just paid off the loan a year and a half early last week so we now live without a car payment?

After handing over the keys and signing the papers we had the courtesy driver haul us over to Hertz where we expected to pick up a "full sized" Chevy Impala.

Instead we drove off their lot with what I call a "mid sized" Toyota Camry.

The trunk space is surprisingly small because instead of suitcases this "Hybrid" has at least 25% of the available space taken up with giant batteries covered with plastic and carpet.

Has anyone seen and actually drove one of these things?

It took me five minutes to figure out how to start it, because when you "start it" instead of a key all you do is waive the little plastic lock button thingie at the dash and push a button.

Then you set there scratching your head the first couple of trys because the gasoline part of the "hybrid" drive system doesn't actually "start" when you push the "start button."

Then once you manage to shift into gear and start moving forward or reverse it feels sort of like driving a golf cart until you hit about 3-5 MPH when the engine fires up and the computer switches into over drive and off you go making Owl Gore and his tree hugging hippy followers smile knowing smiles of approval.

I swear it's pretty disconcerting at first to get used to, but we have eight days planned to enjoy the advantages or disadvantages of the latest modern automotive technology I guess.

Our route takes us south tomorrow to my beloved family farm home in Lower Alabama to celebrate my 50th birthday with my mother, then on to the Western Florida Gulf Coast for a group 50th birthday party with a bunch of my high school classmates over the long Labor Day weekend.

Of course Internet access will be slow and/or sporadic at best so please excuse any lapses in blogging between now and our return to the banks on the Mighty Tennessee River on September 8th.

And wish us safe travel...if you will...

"My Grace Is Sufficient for You, For My Power Is Made Perfect In Weakness."

1 Corinthians Chapter 2, Verse 3


Please excuse me, because I'm not preaching.

I don't even go to church regularly these days, but still I like the Apostle Paul's words there...

When you look at all the crap going on around us it's somehow reassuring to hear that someone might actually be in charge that isn't elected in politics by the morons I saw walking around the local Mall this afternoon.

I, personally, am fortunate to have made it back home from our shopping trip without having been arrested for tearing some idiot's arm off and beating most of their entire family to death with it.

The older I get, it seems the less tolerant I am of "crowds" and "the general public." I'll probably never set foot in an amusement park or a NASCAR race or most football stadiums ever again because I can't help having laser beams exploding from my eyeballs and out of my butt when I witness the stuff you're forced to witness these days.

It's either because I just keep getting smarter and smarter else the aforementioned "general public" is continuing in a gradual spiralling descent into moronic pop cultural behavior which makes me want to kick the shit out of them knock some sense into them when they get in my way and waste my time with their inane endeavors spending money they don't have to spend.

I guess it's best I just stay home and let them all self destruct, except that the government keeps coming to my door asking for money to help buy houses and cars and health insurance and retirement while I continue to insist on living within my means.

Is it just me???

We STILL Have Katrina "Victims" FOUR YEARS Later?

And We're Spending Tax Money Encouraging Them To Move Back...


I hate the fact that the leftist liberal NBC network bought my formerly favorite "The Weather Channel."

I say that today they might as well rename the stupid thing this...

"When Weather Kills Poor Folks Because Conservatives and Republicans Deny Global Warming Climate Change Channel."


Of course that name is hard to print in TV Guide and in online/TV listings...but still...

Seriously...hasn't anyone but me noticed the continuing slide by "The Weather Channel" into being a "Oh My God" there's wildfires and earthquakes and tornadoes and Hurricanes network?

Of course for years they've prided themselves in throwing Jim Cantori and Mike Sidell into the eye of each season's hurricanes but these days, particularly this quite Hurricane Season, they seem to just want to manufacture stories about potential future man made "Superstorms" while harping on past storms and the associated GOVERNMENT ENCOURAGED man made stupidity that caused loss of life and property damage.

For instance, while waiting for my latest dose of "Local on the Eights" I just had to wince my way through a "pseudo-weather story" about the four year anniversary of the liberal, sniveling, booger eating tree hugging pinko commie socialists' favorite storm...

HURRICANE KATRINA!!

Remember Hurricane Katrina?

How could anyone ever forget Hurricane Katrina...the storm conjured up by Karl Rove and George Bush to wipe out people too lazy to watch TV or listen to the Radio while electing stupid Governors and Corrupt Black Mayors and Congress persons.

...taking a big breath here boss...

So any way...I didn't really give a crap about today being the "anniversary" of that storm which legitimately smacked the hell out of the Mississippi Gulf Coast, but then they tossed out a bunch of facts that to this very minute continue to make my head spin near orbital rotational velocity and over pressurize at dangerous levels.

For instance, did you know that:

1. To date FEMA has generally wasted some part of over 7.8 BILLION taxpayer dollars in the state of Louisiana under the guise of "Hurricane Recovery Funding?"

2. To date FEMA has spent only 3 BILLION of innocent bystander's dollars in the state of By God Mississippi--while they really did take the brunt of the storm?

Or how about these Apples...

A. There are still about 1,668 "families" living free in FEMA trailers in Louisiana today...down from over 120,000 right after the much maligned inadequate government/BUSH response...

AFTER EVERYONE WAS TOLD TO GET THE HELL OUT BECAUSE THEY WERE MOSTLY LIVING BELOW SEA LEVEL IN 2005.

B. Mississippi has managed to run all but 441 of the government incapacitated dead beats out of FEMA housing after have 48,000 living in linear residential facilities (trailers) right after the storm actually made A DIRECT HIT ON THEIR AREA.

Now...

here is the coup de gras that caused me to start foaming at the mouth and spitting and throwing things at my TV screen...

The new kookie Weather Channel "Bimbo du jour" News Lady proudly reported that the City of New Orleans was recovering and the population was back to 77% of the "Pre-Katrina" levels...although rents were much higher and the Federal and State "authorities" were continuing programs to assist the residents in returning to their homes or home town (I'm paraphrasing of course.)

OK, let me get this straight...

We're paying for people to return to a city which exists below sea level--protected by taxpayer funded pumps and levies--while we also pay for many of these same people to live for free in taxpayer provided trailers while they wait on taxpayer funding to cover their rent so they can move back INTO A FLOOD AND HURRICANE PRONE AREA?

What?

Who?

When?

Where?

You'll have to excuse me because I HAVE TO GO FIND A COOLER FULL OF ICE WATER NOW AND SOAK MY HEAD.

That will be all...for now...dammit

Time To Make The Donuts Build The Walls

Back Cramming Lumber Into A Basement...


Well, I'm spending part of last week of my life under the age of 50 years being reminded that I'm OVER FORTY.

I sure feel like it.

I managed to get about seven hours sleep last night and I feel like I can manage to stagger through another six to eight hours of throwing lumber around our job site today.

I really want to finish the framing so the plumber and electrician can get in this weekend.

To accomplish that superhuman feat I have to have a complete crew on site at 8 AM.

Wish me luck...if you will...

Youth Tops Age And Beauty In The Construction Business

Every Time...


I arrived on site about 7:45 AM to find a big strong twenty year old kid with a face full of metal piercings and a bunch of obvious prison tattoos sweeping the concrete basement floor...

and no other carpenter to be found.

I was panicking as I looked at almost 400 sticks of lumber...nearly half 2"x6" and all of it ten foot or longer...all needing carrying thirty yards around the back of the house, cut to length, nailed together and stood up to form walls for two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a small galley kitchen and a living area making up the basement apartment for my client's handicapped father and his live in "caregiver."

I was amazed when my client jumped on the computer, put up an ad on Craigslist, and within a half hour had seven potential carpenters and a big strong thirty-something year old guy that knew his way around a tape measure and framing square better than I did on site by 9:30.

Sawdust proceeded to fly and the tattooed kid drug half the wood pile around back and by 1:30 I was dead tired from trying to keep up with my "crew" and we had near half the boards up in place around the perimeter concrete block walls.

I excused myself shortly thereafter leaving them to work another couple of hours unsupervised on some tasks I had identified, and now after a two hour nap I'm able to hold my head up and have enough strength left over to move my fingers around the keyboard.

Tomorrow's going to be a long day but if everyone shows up at 8 AM as agreed we should have 99% of the framing in place and "Grandmas favorite tree"--a giant 20" diameter log holding a steel beam holding the house up--sliced into manageable chunks and replaced with walls and two 6"x6" pressure treated wooden columns.

I hate to admit it, but I'm getting too old to get anywhere near a construction site without a suit and a white hard hat...it's time to leave the hammering and nailing to the younger men and settle for reading drawings and waiving my arms and pointing...

and saying "good job fellers..."

Getting Hammered

With An Air Compressor...


Well, I have to go out and meet my new construction crew at 8 AM this morning.

I hope it's not a freak show but you never know in the construction business and some people might consider me a freak when they see me at first but any way...

I just hope the two guys are on time and reasonably capable but the owner hired them and all I have to do is get the lumber nailed together and in place reasonably square/plumb and I can almost do that by myself if it wasn't for the 10' ceiling height.

I have a few thousand dollars of tools loaded up in the Chrysler (the Suburban's not really road ready right now due to inactivity and neglect and besides the mileage sucks) and a big stack of wall panel drawings and we're gonna see if we can frame out this basement in TWO days instead of THREE.

Assuming the personalities aren't a problem I really love doing stuff like this..sort of like playing with a giant set of Tinker Toys and getting paid a modest sum for my efforts.

Doing the math this is somewhere around my tenth major residential construction effort including some stuff I've done for myself and friends and family and of course the Habitat for Humanity houses I built down in Georgia back in the late 1990's.

It's so much easier pushing nails into wood using pneumatics and based on my creaking, ever ageing knees and back I hope to come through the process only slightly worse for the wear.

Time now to do a little reading, smoke a cigar, and catch a couple hours nap before heading out.

Y'all have a lovely day and try to have at least half as much fun as I'm gonna have now...if you will...

Ted Kennedy R.I.P.

I Didn't Agree With The Man...But At Least He Stood For Something




I just can't be mean and celebrate someone's death or suffering. I hope my peers on the center/right side of the Bloggosphere are equally respectful.

Vista Crashed THREE TIMES SINCE NOON YESTERDAY

I Want To Send Bill Gates An Invoice...


Dammit...I'm Trying to do some CAD drawings of wall panel framing and I just lost a couple hours worth of work...

The computer monitor is covered with spit and I think that it's time to go outside and read "Atlas Shrugged" and maybe smoke a Cigar.

I swear techhology is goin' to kill me before it's all over with...

The New Phone Books Are Here Wire's Here

Wierd Steve Martin Movie References...


I'm still right behind Mr. Martin for the title role in the his early 1980's film"The Jerk"...but all you Bankers and Lawyers are safe for now....

(or maybe not...don't test me)

Hearding Herding Cats

Bankers & Lawyers Will Be The Death Of Me...


Today's bitching and complaining has to do with my bankers and other people's Lawyers.

Ready?

I almost went back to school to be a Patent Attorney some years ago, but then I decided it would be a bad idea because I'd be forced to commit suicide after killing all of the other lawyers within range of a 30-06 rifle once I finally went insane dealing with stupid "non-standard standards" and rules and "traditions."

I've just spent the past week and one half trying to expedite losing my ass in a real estate deal which was supposed to close last Thursday.

By closing one would generally expect to have all of the paperwork completed and more importantly...

FUNDS WOULD BE DISTRIBUTED.

As it sits right now I've handled making all of the copies of materials on my end, paying to overnight them to the Georgia coast on Wednesday, only to find myself...the OWNER OF THE PROPERTY...as the only person which hasn't been paid as of 1:25 PM four calendar days after closing.

The buyer's Lawyer has been paid.

The buyers real estate agent has picked up their check.

My friend Bruce...my Agent/Broker called to say he had his check...

But I...

THE SO CALLED OWNER?

I'm still waiting for a stupid wire transfer which is costing me $5 to receive a five figure balance and my bankers say they don't have it and that if it doesn't show up by 3 PM it won't be credited to my account until tomorrow.

Five days late.

What kind of crap is it that I can deposit a potentially rubber check and the funds are available immediately, but I PAY to have funds electronically, securely transferred from a law firm that had the money last Friday to my account, and the bankers get away acting like they have to decipher the da Vinci code to get the money into my account?

Are they hauling stone coins from Easter Island or Gold Bullion from Spain and Central America?

All I know is that it's a good thing all of my guns are in the next state in a closet or you might see me on CNN slobbering on myself as the "authorities" describe the scene...

dammit...

Monday Musings

I Don't Know Nuthin New....


I'm happy to report that I didn't do a damn thing this weekend...

unless you count sitting and drinking and cooking to entertain family guests in town for the weekend and the Bristol NASCAR race.

I did produce a load of ham and asparagus crepes for breakfast yesterday morning, and followed that up with a giant cast iron skillet full of marinated skirt steak and chicken at dinner time--served up with tortillas to make Fajitas (along with colored bells and onions) which everyone including the Turbo Pup chowed down on.

I'm so far behind on my Internet reading and news watching that I'll probably spend 'til noon today catching up on what's going on out there in the rest of the world.

Until then..y'all have a nice day...if you will...

I'm Working ON Doing Stuff Like This... for FUN....

Saturday Musical Simplicity

Always The Bridesmaid...

Never The Bride


I'm happy sorry to report that I learned I'm the "Number Two" candidate for the job down in "the Atlanta Metro Area" that I interviewed for earlier this week.

I'm also happy to report that as a result Pat and Missy the Turbo Pup and I will continue to be allowed to live here in Mayberry in Knoxtown on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River for the foreseeable future.

Good God but I had forgotten how insane the traffic is there in north Atlanta/Norcross.

And it NEVER lets up.

We drove out of town on Wednesday morning at 6:30 AM across the top end "perimeter" Interstate 285 and I swear we needed a few thousand logos and a fancy paint job and a roll cage and helmets on our heads like we were running in a NASCAR race because anyone going less than 75 was basically A BRIDGE or obstacle to the passing drivers.

Four to Six lanes bumper to bumper screaming down the interstate to a halt at Roswell road where someone had blown a tire.

We got back home to find the home Internet down and the so called "legal firm" in Brunswick putzing around finishing the real estate closing document package LATE as usual so I've been busy yelling at Comcast and holding my head in a bucket full of melting ice trying to keep it from exploding for the past 36 hours...thus the silence here on the WWW.

The good news is I have ongoing responsibilities with my forensic injuneering work including a new project at a university in New England and I'm going to run over and help frame out the lumber on my basement design project next week and we have company coming to town for the NASCAR race at Bristol, TN and once the stupid attorneys get my funds wired over I can start adding onto the Turbo Pup's deck and put in a new kitchen floor.

In the middle of all that ruckus my high school class of 1977 is meeting down on the Florida Gulf coast (Owl Gore Hurricanes permitting) over labor Day to celebrate every one's 50th birthday...so we pretty much have a busy month of stuff to do ahead of us without packing up and moving back to Atlanta.

Just like moving here from our little island on the Georgia coast was a major transformation, the move to Atlanta and taking on the responsibility as project manager of a $140,000,000 fluidized bed boiler project would have been a mental and physical cultural shock which possibly I wasn't prepared to accept...

and as Doris Day used to say...






Que Sera Sera...

Internet Back Operational

Still Unemployed

Cellphone Blogging...Home Internet Down ...more later

Back Toward The Turbo Pup Compound...

Employed Or Unemployed?


After a 2-1/2 hour series of interviews Tuesday in one office, we have a 6 AM Departure for home scheduled, with hopes of hearing good news later today.

My recruiter said the last guy lasted about an hour, so I hope the extended nature of our discussions was positive.

It seemed so to me.

Then there's to be a flurry of activity with the Thursday Coastal real estate closing with E-mailing of forms and Notary's and wire transfers.

The good news is that I'm a richer man on Friday regardless the outcome of this latest adventure I guess.

Wish Me luck...if you will...

Live From Hotlanta

I'm Torn With The Prospect Of Moving Back...


Well, we made the drive from Knoxtown to Norcross in the Atlanta suburbs in time to meet with an owner and a real estate agent about finding a house in the area.

I've thus far kept to myself the fact that I have an interview for a KILLER JOB with an international engineering company tomorrow at 9 AM. I survived a phone interview last week and they've been looking at me since last April and if they hire me I'll be making 40% more money than I've ever made in my career.

Of course that's the only way anyone will ever get me back into this giant traffic jam they call Metro Atlanta--BRIBE ME WITH TONS OF CASH.

Any way, we've run around and looked at eight "pet friendly" houses for lease because I learned my lesson buying a house in a town where I didn't need one without a job to go with it...and that's sort of what the Turbo Pup compound became when my old company closed down last December.

Sitting around in my underwear all day as an independent insulting injuneer and forensic nerd is certainly fun and somewhat profitable, but no one at my house is making enough money to retire any time soon and it's time to get down to business and make some real dough to replace that I've frittered away over the past eight or nine years living in Florida and on boats and islands on the Georgia Coast.

This position will strain my professional beach bum mentality but if they offer I'm afraid I'm going to have to accept.

The pony tail may have to go also.

Wish me luck...if you will...

Leaf Blowers & Hurricanes

Can't Live With Them...I Say We Maim & Disfigure The People Responsible...


Meanwhile, in local news, the lawn guy stopped by a day late this week to provide me with my $40 worth of noise, dust, and mental torture.

We covered the Turbo Pup's pool the day before because we saw him drive by, but then he pulled a magic trick and disappeared after only cutting a couple of adjacent lawns.

Then Friday we uncovered the pool to do some maintenance and sit around in it and sure enough here he comes again ...at lunch time rather than the usual 4 PM, and we had to recover the pool and I had to stop work on my never ending front porch refinishing project. (As a side note I'm happy to report that I finished that month long epic task just in the last hour.)

Any way, I had my head stuck in the computer and didn't pay attention, and dang it if the rocket scientist lost his mind again and forgot these words...

DON'T USE THE LEAF BLOWER IN THE CARPORT.

I was out there just now putting things away and straightening up in anticipation of being in Atlanta/St. Simons this week and having guests this coming weekend and EVERYTHING was covered with lawn clippings and dust.

I swear I'm going to buy a leaf blower, find out where this guy lives, and every time he leaves home I'm going to collect everything I sweep up here in and on my stuff and take it over to his house blow it all in through his dryer & stove hood vents.

And speaking of blowing, I see where we have our third named storm in a week out there in the Atlantic, as the Cape Verdi part of the "official" (I accept no imitations) 2009 Atlantic Hurricane season gets underway.

Owl Gore and his Hippy followers probably have had to change their underwear a couple of times this weekend as they watch the Weather Channel.

"...three storms...that'l teach Rove and Rogers and Bush and all those climate change "Deniers..."

I predict this season to be similar to one of the first seasons that we lived down on St. Simons Island...quite in June & July, then it blasted our socks off in August and September with a whole bunch of little bitty piss ant sized Hurricanes and larger Tropic Storms that rained all over Florida and delivered the Georgia Coast a glancing blow a couple of three times.

It actually made for a bit of sinister macabre excitement as you had to think about buying generators and plywood and whether to pack up and bail out inland or just move the cars to higher ground on the mainland and "ride that sucker out..."

Today I find myself safely blasting the climate change jihadi infidels from a safe distance here on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River while my generator sits in the basement, unopened, still shrink wrapped in it's original packaging.

If you're on the coast and need one I'll make you a deal (retail x 3) but you have to come pick it up...which sort of eliminates the need in the first place.

Regards...Y'all...

I saw Most Of This A Long Time Ago...

But It's Still Funny Today

Josh Blue...Disabled Comedian

Laugh Along With Me

I caught this guy once late at night on TV and couldn't remember his name...but I found him tonight.

Check him out in these videos:

Blaa Blaa Blaa

More Griping and Complaining Later Possibly...

Owl Gore & The Global Warming Zombies Celebrate

The First "Cone Of Death" Of The "Official" 2009 Hurricane Season Is Upon Us...




Anybody but me notice it took until mid August???

Sauce For The Goose

Sauce For The Gander...


Grab yourself a cup of Coffee, Sit back, and Click on this link
and check out House Speaker Nasty Pelosi's position on "Un American Activism"

http://www.breitbart.tv/06-flashback-pelosi-tells-anti-war-protesters-im-a-fan-of-disruptors/

heh...

Never Waste A Disaster To Increase Government Control

Hudson River To Become Yet Another "No Fly Zone"?


Back in the late 1950's when my Dad was learning to fly in the Army you could basically get in an airplane, start the engine, and take off in any direction as far as the gas in your gas tank would take you.

By the time I started flight training in 1991 at McCullum airfield in Kennesaw, Georgia the little airport didn't have a control tower but we had to learn to talk on a "Unicom" radio system, maintain a "pattern" and "Pattern Altitude", and stay underneath the screaming fighter jets and lumbering C-130 transport planes from nearby Dobbins Air Reserve Base and the aircraft coming and going into Atlanta's Hartsfield (and now Jackson) International Airport.

The air regulations and restrictions have gotten stricter and stricter since then (ever seen a book called AIM/FAR...Airman Information Manual/Federal Air Regulations?) and before it's over I say basically no one is going to go no where...unless it's on Delta Airlines.

Today after 9/11 you can't fly without government mandate over places like Disney World and Pro and College football stadiums during games in progress and most downtown metro areas (unless you're towing an Ad Banner or are the president in Air Force One.)

Any way, as a result of the recent mid-air collision, does anyone want to bet with me that within the year the Class B airspace under 1000 foot altitude along New York's Hudson River will be changed to be off limits completely or require some kind of new government mandated "permit" to fly within (of course the "permit" is just another form of Tax?)

I say that it will...because the Government just can't restrain itself these days from passing new laws when something happens instead of enforcing the existing laws already in place.

You see, unlike drivers today blabbing and texting on cell phones and wrecking their cars in the process, as a pilot you are trained to be able to fly the airplane, talk on the radio, scan you insturment panel, and look at complex maps while in the air...but YOUR PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITY IS TO TO KEEP YOUR EYEBALLS FOCUSED 99% OF THE TIME OUTSIDE THE COCKPIT.

It was your job to look for other air traffic, mantain a mental picture of the terrain around you, and even keep in mind flat smooth areas with gliding distance should you lose engine power.

During training I'd be flying along worrying about whatever subject me and my instructor were working on that day and he would just suddenly close the engine throttle and ask "you just lost your engine...what are you going to do and where you going to go?"

Then he would sit there and watch me go through all of the emergency procedures (except calling on the radio) and set the plane up for a landing in a pasture or whatever clear space I was supposed to have noticed in the past five minuets as we were flying along.

Then maybe 500 feet off the ground would he give me engine power again and make me start climbing back up as he told me how dead I would be because of whatever mistakes I had made in the exercise.

Just now I just I had to sit through watching Geraldo Rivera on FOX News ranting about how the air traffic controllers at New Jersey's Teterboro Airport were responsible for the accident this week. The CONTROLLERS...not the PILOTS

BULLCRAP...

If the private plane or helicopter had strayed out of the VFR (visual flight rules) corridor and hit an AIRLINER coming out of Newark or LaGuardia or JFK I'd blame the controller for not making a call, but...

As an aviator I suggest that the Pilots are each responsible for this event, because radios can fail and other people like flight controllers make mistakes or get distracted and in the end it's the PILOT that's responsible for maintaining separation between aircraft, not the government flight controllers.

I guarandamntee you both these pilots were talking to the other people in the cockpit and looking at the ground and pointing and waiving their arms rather than focusing on flying their aircraft like they normally would be doing over rural Kansas.

I know that crap like this I write about is over the heads of or of no interest to much of the general public, but dammit people...

if someone that knows doesn't tell you the details, the media will just leave you stranded sitting around your TV's knowing nothing.

...so know you know.



and you're Welcome.

dISTRACTED

drAWING AND cALCULATING AND tIRED OF bITCHING & cOMPLAINING


Oh...where to start this morning...

Since my last rant (which I think was one of my better ones although a bit coarse in language), all I've been doing is thinking about thinking about some things I need to get done around the Turbo Pup Compound, doing a little drawing and design work for myself and some clients, reading depositions on the latest Forensic Engineering lawsuit, and negotiating a real estate deal which hopefully gets me out of the slumlord/investment rental property on the Georgia Coast.

As of August 20th I will only own one piece of real estate, and I'm darned glad to see that extra property go. All in all I had a terrible experience trying to buy and improve an inner city property in an area where the residents generally behave as animals and criminals and their plight will hardly improve no matter how much money and effort is poured into their community by the government and private investors.

That's not a "Racist" statement...that's just a fact speaking from first hand experience gained over five years.

I wish I could snag another good deal on an investment property but right now with things as they are I think I'm just going to make some more improvements on the Tennessee house and hold the rest of the funds in reserve for a rainy day.

Remember I'm "officially" unemployed...living from project to project like an injuneering hobo.

Meanwhile I'm still sitting here amazed at the stupidity and insanity I see around me in the world...public and private and political, and as a result I remain dedicated to redoubling my efforts to solidify my family's positions financially on a cash flow and long term investment basis before the government idiots and our society's bands of "looters" (per Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged") end up standing on my doorstep wanting even more of the value of my personal efforts in the form of new and increased taxes.

Tomorrow I might even emerge from my office and bedroom and actually get some more work done on the never ending front porch refinishing project because phase two of the rear deck project is on the horizon in the next 30 days.

I'm thinking of building a simple "outdoor kitchen" on this next pile of deck lumber as I more than double the size of the deck surface area...including built in seating, counter space, a little refrigerator, a sink, and a built in gas grill to augment my Webber Kettle Charcoal grill.

I say Charcoal rules, but Gas has it's advantages when you need to use a burner to steam crab or keep a bunch of food hot and don't want to heat and stink the house up in the summertime.

And if things keep pissing me off and people keep bothering me I may just end up mounting a surplus machine gun turret adjacent to the new rooftop cruise missile launch platform and radar installation I'm designing...

Don't be surprised...remember someone (I think it was Ben Franklin) said...an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure...

When Hiring Your Own Doctors Is Illegal...Only Illegals Will have Doctors

I'm Not Giving Up Yet...

Five Years Of Blogging

Never Rarely Running Out Of Opinions And Words...


I just realized that today I celebrate my fifth anniversary as a Blogger.

Sometimes it seems longer than that, but most of the time it doesn't seem like that long ago that I pounded out the first words on my keyboard intended for public consumption.

After all, the words were already overflowing out of my brain any way, and so it made sense when my friend Tripp suggested I capture them and put them up on the Internet for everyone to enjoy...or not.

So it's with very little pomp and circumstance that I present not the first, but the second piece I wrote titled "Washing Your Underwear In Public" and first published on August 11th, 2004 while visiting Chicago with Pat:

Spending ten continuous days living out of suitcases in a hotel room brings me back to a reality that I have spent very little time with since college—the Public Laundry.

That’s what the sign on the door says here at the Holiday Inn Hotel and Suites in Elgin, IL.

Laundromat, Wash-O-Matic, Rinse-and-Wring, call it what you may, each and every visit provides a wealth of entertainment opportunities and interesting insights into human nature, and invariably brings you into contact with persons and situations with which you could otherwise do without.

Of course I have had, through the years, intermittent opportunities to further develop and maintain my college developed skills in the public cleansing of my most personal clothing items. The issue of boxers or briefs become quite evident unless you properly sort, handle, and maintain control of your clothing items before and during your visit to the local “Palace of Clean Clothing” (POCC for short.)

For instance, there was that time when I ran away from home, after separating from my ex-wife, and I was forced to give her the old Kenmore washer and worse, the old Kenmore dryer I had recently, lovingly, totally rebuilt for a cost of a hundred thirty six dollars and fifty-five cents (or something like that.) The personal cost of a weekend of cursing and scraped knuckles was extra. I later learned that she promptly discarded both the washer and dryer in favor of brand new equipment once the divorce was final—she just didn’t want me to have them. She tried the same thing with the 30-year-old Snapper self-propelled mower I had also rebuilt, but you know how it is with a man and his lawnmower. I think that lawn mower cost me about five thousand dollars in the final settlement, but it was worth every damn penny.

Any way, back to the local POCC. I rode the elevator down to the second floor about one o’clock this afternoon, carrying our white clothes and my four-dollar mini-box of detergent, purchased from Rashee, the friendly Indian proprietor of the lobby gift shop. Somehow, I avoided buying a genuine imitation Rolex watch or a cigarette lighter that looks like a pistol (against FAA regulations, you know)--but I was awfully tempted.

Upon arrival in the POCC, I found one of the two washers filled with someone’s unwashed blue jeans and one of the two dryers in mid cycle. Undaunted, my heart full of hope, I launched the load of white clothes with $1.00 worth of quarters, $1.50 worth of detergent, and planned my return 20 minutes later with the colored clothes. Wrong you stupid, white, redneck man.

Upon my return twenty minutes later I found BOTH dryers in operation and the load of blue jeans mysteriously in mid-wash cycle. This was war. What (or whom) was in that second dryer? I again left the POCC briefly, planning to catch the one dryer at the end of its cycle and then load MY own second load into MY washer. Again, wrong, you paleface redneck. Another ten minutes and another three floor round trip on the elevator found me and a four foot tall middle eastern woman glancing furtively at each other as she partially unloaded both dryers and fumbled with clothing of all sizes from 6x to Jolly Green Giant. Was this woman running a laundry service out of the Holiday Inn POCC? Could be…

Another elevator trip up three floors, another ten minutes writing this story, and back to the POCC where I found both washers empty, one dryer available, and the little woman with the red dot on her forehead nowhere to be seen. I sprang into action, untieing the sleeves of my dress shirts from the knot they invariably form in the rinse cycle and gleefully launching another $2.50 worth of quarters and detergent into action. An additional dollar bought me the services of the available dryer. I was turning the corner, in the home stretch now, ladies and gentlemen.

Three floors down, and three floors back, and my heart is still singing the pleasures of clean, although slightly damp and wrinkled clothing. The aforementioned mysterious load of blue jeans was doing nicely in the dryer also.

Got to run, now…I have a dollar date with a lovely, appliance-white-colored clothes dryer. She’s mine, Mine, MINE I said, ALL MINE, get away, dammit… I THINK I NEED A DRINK.

Sonja Rocks

Finally... An Intelligent Conservative (besides Condoleezza) Black Woman...

Yawn...

I'm Just Too Tired of Being Too Tired...


The way I see it today, most of the people out there that aren't STUPID are CRAZY...

and they're allowed to VOTE...

(and if you're a regular reader of this blog don't go getting all angry and insulted because most likely I'm not talking about YOU...but still...)

a disproportionate number of them (the aforementioned STUPID or CRAZY people) seem to be working in media and/or call themselves "journalists."

and that just bugs the CRAP out of me almost to the point of tears these days.

I'm coming up on the ripe old age of 50 early next month, and if they give me about ten more years of putting up with this crap I'm concerned that I'm likely to go to jail for the rest of what's left of my life for beating some Ivy league "journalist" to death with my walking stick.

Or as I gain more weight (6'3" tall, 250 pounds now) maybe I'll just knock them over yelling at them and sit on their chest until they quit breathing.

Then at least I'll get credit for coining the term murder by "Assfixication."

Dammit...

I Can Almost Play Harp Like This

But Not Quite...

?

Think About This...


You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity . . . .

What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving . . . .

The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else . . . .

When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation . . . .

You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."

- Adrian Rogers


My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government.

The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.

The natural progress of things is for liberty to yield and government to gain ground.

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.

When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.

- Thomas Jefferson

The Weather Nerds Aren't Actually "FORECASTING"...

They're "BROADCASTING"...


OK Ladies and Gentlemen...(taking a big breath)

I just saw where the so-called "Experts", to the dismay of Owl Gore and the hysterical, sniveling, booger eating eco-friendly, tree hugging man made global warming crowd...

just down graded their predictions for this year's Atlantic Hurricane season.

GASP!!!

You can read the story here:

And here's the money statement...

"This is the quietest start for more than a decade. The last time a storm didn't form until August 5 was back in 1992," Klotzbach said.

This from the exact same stupid partisan government sponsored idiots rocket scientists who always try to tell us what is going to happen next year when they can't tell me if it is going to rain here on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River next week.

And the lamestream media never covers the retractions and reductions like they cover the next storm that kills "the disenfranchised" or displaces "working families" or disproportionately affects "minorities."

I'm so pissed off about this global warming CRAP that I'm thinking about posting about it every SINGLE DAY until the end of this "Hurricane Season" just to remind what few readers I have of how ludicrous the whole "prediction fascination" and "government control of the weather" phenomena is.

Based on our experience living on our little island on the Georgia coast earlier this decade...I'll have to laugh my ass off when the western Atlantic and the Caribbean/Gulf of Mexico lights up like crazy and we get a huge number of storms in a close procession through October...thereby proving that man/womankind isn't in control of and has no effect on the weather and our predictions are mere news stories and political fodder for the idiots and paid politicians in our society to debate.

dammit...

YES!!!

An Offer I Can't Refuse...




Anybody seen my checkbook?

Kill The Lying, Thieving, Pompous Democratic Bastards

And Grind Their Bones To Make My Bread...






Maybe there really is hope for your Children and Grand Children...

(As for ME personally...long before I'm most likely gonna be out of this slowly failing, decaying earthly body...far...far...away from John "Served in Vietnam" sKerry / Ed "Jabba the Hut" Kennedy / "sHillary" Clinton / Arlen" Spinchter" / Obama Rama ding Dang's Socialistic Idealistic Unattainable Genocidal pandering wealth distribution legacy BULLSHIT regardless.)

Something I Said???

Sorry...I'm NOT Shutting UP...




dammit...

Driving Instead of Driveling

East Tennessee Here We Come...


On the road at 7 AM.

Wish us a safe trip.

I'll try to write something nice when I get home.

Regards Y'all...

More Thoughts On "Cash For Clunkers"

Sleeping On It Hasn't Changed My Opinion...


I had some more ideas on the unintended consequences of the latest Congressional vote buying taxpayer money giveaway disguised as an "auto stimulus and climate change prevention program. (let's call it ASACCPP for short)"

Look at this chart:



and think about it with me for a minute while I explain some more details on how it's supposed to work.

Suppose that you have a car that's less than 25 years old, gets less than 18 mpg (when it was new), and is on the mysterious government approval list.

You wander down to your local dealer, buy or lease a NEW, previously untitled vehicle and drive off the lot having paid a reduced price based on whatever rebates the manufacturer is offering...

AND EITHER $3,500 OR $4,500 OF Government bonus under the CARS program.

And notice that on the above chart in the "Large Truck" category i.e. a Suburban or Tahoe, you only have to improve the mileage by 1 MPG to get the $3,500 and 2 MPG to claim $4,500.

Interesting?

I thought we were talking about huge mileage and pollution changes to warrant the Government handing out your and my money in giant chunks to support total strangers buying a chassis and a set of new wheels.

Then in order to make sure that the EVIL gas guzzling polluting machine is forever off the streets of the planet, the dealer has to pour some gook (actually sodium silicate) into the engine and rev it up and run it until it siezes up and explodes. Now the car/truck/SUV is worthless except for parts, and most of the older ones are simply being sold as scrap and/or crushed.

Anyone but me see any problem with this kind of Government market/product availability tampering?

Suppose that you're just some regular Joe Smuck working an average 40 hour job, and suppose you can't afford or don't need to take advantage of the ASACCPP program, and suppose that next year or the year after...AFTER this program is "supposed" to finally be over with (assuming it doesn't end now but instead goes the extra year or two Congress is debating) you end up needing a USED vehicle...

because you don't want a new one with the associated instant devaluation that goes with driving it off the dealer lot, or you still can't afford a new vehicle of the kind you need for your family or business.

What do you think the used car market is gonna look like then?

See, you're a carpenter and you can't afford a new $17,000 Ford F-150. What you want is a $7,000 five year old USED F-150 with a heavy chassis and a big engine because you pull a tool trailer on the weekdays and a bass boat on the weekends.

(Here's my point...stay with me here...)

Don't you imagine the pool of used 2006 model year trucks is going to look substantially different in 2011 than it looks this Summer?

And don't you suspect that due to the scarcity of your dream truck, that the price you pay is going to be substantially greater because CarMax and the "buy here pay here" used car dealer down by the grocery store only has TWO rather than Twenty on their colorful streamer and balloon filled sales lots?

Or suppose that instead of a newer used truck you just want to buy a low mileage replacement engine and put a paint job on your old hauler.

Since they're blowing up perfectly good engines, how many complete engines are you going to find sitting around at the local junkyard or on E-bay?

Can you say "Virtually None"???

And like whole working trucks, the few whole working engines will be more expensive by then...and I bet you dollars to doughnuts that somewhere in the fine print of this CARS program is a stipulation that the manufacturers stop selling new replacement motors like the one you need and further...

the next thing you'll know you won't be able to buy critical parts for your existing motor because the Government will have forced the manufacturers to stop making them too.

And you think that this program will ever actually go away?

I guarandamntee you it most definitely will for everyone but "working families" and "the disenfranchised", so expect to see thousands of tax dollars paid out as a never ending stream of new "rebates" and "subsidies" and "programs" and "investments" continue flowing into peoples' pockets that didn't earn it but instead are deemed by officials to "NEED" the money.

Heck, the government is already giving away housing, food, insurance, health care, and recently "emergency" cell phones to various freeloaders, deadbeats, illegals and street people...how long before they start just outright giving away new cars to the same ACORN constituency?

(And before you start bitching and writing me nasty comments and e-mails let me say I'm not referring everybody or anybody in particular here, but you know the government and I know human nature and we can bet that the level of fraud and waste in every single program I mention is/has been already proven to be incredible.)

So now we have additional billions of dollars spent in an entirely new area of Nanny Government intrusion, and for WHAT????

Somebody PLEASE, please tell me I'm wrong here so I can sleep at night...

It's all a lie...it's all done under the guise of saving only something like the equivalent amount of gas in an ENTIRE year that we burn as a nation over a long weekend, WHILE reducing the total CO2 output of the old "Clunkers" turned in by something like 0.01% over that same period of time (I admit that those are approximate figures because I'm too lazy to Google them but I remember the numbers are tiny in reality.)

It's all Bullshit...it's all about buying votes through wealth distribution in the end. I tell you people, this thing is going to blow up and come back to bite most if not virtually all of us in the long run.

You know that I could go on and on about other things that will probably happen, but I have to stop writing now before my head explodes and I pound the keys off my keyboard.

dammit...

I want My Cash For My Clunker

More Political Incorrectness From On The Road...


We made it to suburban Pittsburgh yesterday without incident...if you don't count the check engine light on the Chrysler 300 coming on about an hour and one half out of Knoxville.

Isn't that the way things always go???

You take your car in for an oil change and tire rotation in anticipation of making a long cross county trip, and I think that sometimes the technician plants some sort of time bomb in the dashboard just to make you worry for all one thousand miles of your journey.

So any way, I popped the hood and fumbled around for a few minutes and couldn't find anything leaking or smoking or on fire so we continued on through the intermittent rain to our destination without incident.

After dinner and a good night's sleep, this morning I was Googling around the Internet catching up on news and I saw a story about how the new one billion dollar socialist government program called the "Car Allowance Rebate System (CARS)" a.k.a. "Cash for Clunkers" was already running out of money.

It seems that so many people have taken Uncle Sam up on the program ($3,500 for cars and $4,500 for trucks/SUV's) in THE FIRST WEEKS of the program that the elected idiots in Washington are now faced with closing the cash give-away down. The other option is to increase the funding...to possibly as much as FOUR BILLION DOLLARS.

Great...

Wonderful...

Not only am I paying the mortgages of total strangers so they can stay in houses bigger and newer than mine which they couldn't afford in the first place, but now I'm helping put a new car in their driveway to boot...under the guise of "stimulating" auto sales.

You'll have to excuse me if instead of buying a car I feel stimulated to grab one of my guns and head toward DC looking for a few answers and getting my opinions on national TV.

This is a perfect example of Washington budgeting and Washington math in general...apparently everyone including the "economists" and the "accountants" failed economics and algebra in high school AND college.

But then, just out of interest I checked the CARS websites and found out that the program is limited to vehicles that are not older than 25 years and have a gas mileage of less than 18 MPG.

But you know what?

My old 1995 2500 series 3/4 ton 4 wheel drive Chevy Suburban that got 11 MPG on the highway when it was new and only gets about 9 MPG today is....get ready...

NOT AN ELIGIBLE VEHICLE FOR THIS PROGRAM?

wtf?

So they're getting rid of SOME clunkers and SOME low mileage vehicles, but not the WORST low mileage vehicles.

The government has some reasoning I'm sure, but isn't the net effect that while saying that you have a very old vehicle means you should have to buy a new one and pay full price with no government rebate, the convoluted logic is that people with newer cars are rewarded with a huge cash incentive to buy a brand new car and you better bet that a bunch of idiots (the same ones with the mortgages they can't afford) are now running out and upgrading "ole' Bessy" the family SUV sitting in their three car garage...

AT GOVERNMENT EXPENSE.

These new cars and trucks don't cost them anything from day one except taking on another five years of $300 per month (or $400 or $600) payments.

Wouldn't you agree with me that many if not most people don't deserve or most of the time need a new car until the can actually pay CASH for it?

Their OWN CASH...not yours and mine?

I have to go now and stop thinking about this now before my head explodes...

dammit.

On The Road Again

Pennsylvania... Here We Come...


Well, I'm sitting here this morning putting the finishing touches on a few drawings and loading up my laptop computer and Missy the Turbo Pup's lockers and sea chests in anticipation of the eight hour drive to suburban Pittsburg.

The actual event requiring our presence over the extended weekend is a wedding on Saturday in Erie, PA, so we'll head up there that morning and return on Sunday, before making the epic saga drive back through the hills of the Virginias again on Monday.

If you've never been to the city on the shore of the shallowest of the Great Lakes (Erie) let me tell you from past experience its an interesting place. For instance, did you know that Welches grows zillions of tons of grapes right there on the rocky, pebbly shores of that big pool of melted Glacier water?

There's also a bunch of wineries there in the area although our current excursion will be limited to drinking a little (wine or other spirits) at the Reception rather than touring the vineyards.

As usual Internet services will be limited, although I may try blogging from my new Verizon LG Dare phone if I can stand typing with my thumbs on a touch screen.

That said, pray we have a safe trip driving through a world of unknowns and drivers of dubious capabilities, and in the mean time...Y'all have a lovely weekend...if you will...

President Reagan On Socialized Medicine

This Is Damn Prophetic And Scary...Listen If You have The Time




Where are you Ronnie When we need you today?


Thanks Rodger...

Simple Answers

Telling The Pandering Geriatric Socialists Not "No" But "HELL NO"


This thrilling invitation came in the mail for me today...



Besides pissing me off that they know my name and know that I'm turning 50 in a little over a month, their programs and political contributions...99.99% to liberal Democrats...piss me off more.

That said, here's my answer to their invitations:



Maybe somebody should call them and say I said NO...

WhirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRR... Ka Boom...

That Would Be The Sound Of My Head Going Supersonic...


OK (cover your eyes and ears Mom...) I'm totally tired of this "Health care Bullshit."

Why?

Because of "Government Spending" in general and the new health care discussion in particular.

Can someone please excuse me if I own a company and I don't do anything fundamentally wrong thus I don't want to pay a fine or penalty just because the stupid government idiots say so?

Further, Business owner or not, I want the choice of being able to NOT HIRE YOU and NOT PAY YOU, a choice that in effect the government is trying to take away from me by making me and my fellow citizens spend their tax money paying people they're not related to and don't even know.

Read THIS from this article here:

Massachusetts Senator John Kerry said he was “relatively confident” the panel will reach agreement by week’s end.

Kerry said his plan to tax “Cadillac” health benefits is gaining support. “There’s certainly consensus building now that it’s fair to ask the most expensive plans to contribute something” to help finance the overhaul, he told reporters.

Hoyer called such a tax “a reasonable alternative” that is “good health-care policy and good tax policy” as long as it isn’t aimed at “average families.”

So according to John sKerry, the $%#& shit head elitist bastard presidential wanna-be (who also served in Vietnam) ...If I actually took a job and managed to find a company that gave me good health insurance and by default good health care...something fundamental in the current government bullshit program bru ha ha ...and if my new company's plan actually covers me and pays for my health care beyond buying me an occasional aspirin and having the doctor poke around in my private areas...IF it's better than NOTHING and I make more than minimum wage then the government is going to step in and raise my taxes in order to pay for the health insurance of Bob the hobo living on the corner or the Wendy the Crack Whore spending time sticking needles in her arm and squirting out babies every 11 months?

Anyone but me remember that this week the so called imperial by-God Federal government raised the official "minimum wage" to something a little over seven dollars an hour (I'm too lazy to Google the number)?

But, they say, a "working family"of five can't survive on the wages of a single mom making $7.25 per hour (I finally broke down and Googled it)...They need HEALTH INSURANCE!!!

(I say don't get yourself in the position of having a wife and three kids while only having the job skills to make minimum wage when you're 40 years old...not my problem.)

So any way, the article goes on to piss me off further...

The bills drafted would transform an industry that makes up about 18 percent of the economy. They include a new government program similar to Medicare that would compete against private insurers for customers on an online exchange and a mandate that employers provide insurance or pay a fine. [emphasis mine]

Pay a fine?

Pay a FINE?

Because I own a company and in order to hire employees I have to compete with Medicare?

Medicare?

MEDICARE?

Medicare...A program that since shortly after the days of Lyndon B. Johnson has been BANKRUPT?

A program that was projected to cost $9 billion dollars in 1990 and actually was running over $60 billion that year?

A program that still is out of control and I'm too lazy to Google the numbers (I remember everything else of the top of my head) and they want to FINE ME in order to pay for my employee's insurance if I don't want to pay for it.

FINE ME FOR HIRING YOU?

They're not FINING me...

these assholes are TAXING ME...

And I have news for them. Every dollar they take is a dollar you won't get out of my pocket.

I won't pay and I won't play their game.

I won't pay...I won't pay...I won't pay...and on April 15th?

You'll just get a 1099 rather than a W-2...if you get anything at all.

Obama's "Dialogue"???

I Wouldn't Drink A Beer With Either One Of These Bastards...


From the mouth of my talk radio Idol Neal Boortz...

"Isn't that what they're saying in the aftermath of Obama's little slam against the Cambridge, MA police? I'm getting a bit tired of hearing so many self-described experts telling us how this whole Henry Gates incident should bring us all to the table so we can have a dialogue on race.

Do we need such a dialogue? Oh hell yes we do. But it just ain't going to happen. In this age of political correctness the only possible direction such a dialogue could take would be a forum on all of the terrible things whites have done to blacks and all the things that whites need to do to make things right.

Do white wrongs have a place in the discussion? Absolutely. Racism, bigotry and prejudice ... all part of the equation. But that's not the entire picture ...

Let me share just a few of the things that would be taboo in such a dialogue. First, insofar as Henry Gates is concerned; I doubt very seriously that the dialogue would include any information as to what percentage of home break-ins in and around Boston and Cambridge are committed by blacks. There is no way you might be able to suggest that the police were acting on experience given the fact that blacks are more likely to be involved in criminal activity in the Boston area than whites or other minorities. And you damned sure wouldn't be able to bring the idea that much of the problems experienced by the black community are due to culturalism rather than racism.

Don't even begin to suggest that it might be black culture, rather than poverty and discrimination, which lead to high incidences of black crime. And for God's sake, don't mention the anti-education, anti-learning mentality that suffocates so many young black boys and girls. You know ---- the culture in which a young black teenager is accused of trying to "act white" if he or she so much as raises a hand to ask a question in class.

Yeah ... we need a dialogue. Let' me know when we can get that started. Every time I've ever even brushed those topics lightly on the air it has unleashed charges of racism --- the one sure way to discussing what really might be going on. So ... y'all just get your dialogue going and let me know how it works out for you. "

From Nealz Nuze

Things That Are Evil Evils Destroying Our Country...

Who Knew?


Oil companies are evil
insurance companies are evil
stock brokers are evil
banks are evil
coal companies are evil
The U.S. Constitution is evil
CEOs are evil
Joe the Plumber is evil
pharmaceutical companies are evil
American foreign policy prior to Obama's presidency is evil
Las Vegas, NV and Orlando, FL are evil
car dealers are evil
Sarah Palin is evil
conservatives are evil
General Motors is evil (wait! Or is GM now a victim of evil. Not sure, must wait to see if GM makes a profit. Then, GM will be evil.)
doctors are evil
nurses are evil
Rush Limbaugh is evil
hospitals are evil (except the Mayo Clinic and the University of Chicago Medical Center)
white policemen are evil (or is it just "stupid")
Fox News is evil
USA made condoms are evil
Sean Hannity is evil
republicans are evil
those who make a profit are evil
George W. Bush is evil
blue dog democrats are evil
capitalism is evil
lobbyists are evil
Wal-Mart is evil
Those who drive SUVs are evil
Those who keep their air conditioners at 72 degrees are evil
wealthy people are evil
those who eat as much as they want are evil
those who don't exercise are evil
those who object to redistribution of wealth are evil
opposition to my health-care plan is evil
criticism of ACORN is evil
the unborn are evil
the elderly are evil
cow flatulence is evil
carbon dioxide is evil

Is Even Evel Kievel Evil?
(Thanks ET over at Curmudgeonly & Skeptical)

"Dozer" the Giant Tortoise

Soup For One Hundred...


Recently I've taken on the task of doing some drawings for a fellow Forensic Engineer--a local retired firefighter--to support the rennovation of the basement under his log cabin.

The current residents are five little Pugs and a couple of Lab and Boxer mixed dogs...and TWO TURTLES.

Take a look at all 100 plus pounds of "Dozer":





That's one big dang turtle...wouldn't you agree??

You aught to see his poop...you could trip over it if you weren't careful.