I'm Moving To A Van Down By The River...
(I saw this live on Saturday Night Live back when I watched the show regularly as a younger man...don't make me come over to your house and deliver my own speech...)
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Go Christmas Shopping At Big Lots...Or Just Commit Suicide?
Take My Guns and Steak Knives Away From Me...
I went to Big Lots today looking for some Christmas Cards.
I'm happy to report that I didn't have to kill anyone including myself, and I didn't have a heart attack although my blood pressure is a few points higher on both ends of the scale after returning home.
Who ARE these people, and why do they lose their minds just because the calendar says "December?"?
Is it just ME?
That will be all...for now...
I went to Big Lots today looking for some Christmas Cards.
I'm happy to report that I didn't have to kill anyone including myself, and I didn't have a heart attack although my blood pressure is a few points higher on both ends of the scale after returning home.
Who ARE these people, and why do they lose their minds just because the calendar says "December?"?
Is it just ME?
That will be all...for now...
Seven Simple Home Remedies For Men
My Own Version Of Reader's Digest Tips...
1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
4. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.
6. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
Heh...
Thanks for the ideas goes out to Rodger over at Curmudgeonly & Skeptical Blog
1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
4. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.
6. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
7. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
Heh...
Thanks for the ideas goes out to Rodger over at Curmudgeonly & Skeptical Blog
Basement Blogging
I'm The Emperor Of All I Survey....
I'm just finishing up a successful session of programming this evening...something that was mandatory if I'm going to get this contraption out the door and into my customer' hands this week.
In the past five hours I've managed to re-write a substantial portion of the front end of my PLC program and really cleaned things up--in the process jumping across a couple of logical hurdles I've been wrestling with for a few weeks now.
I've had to tear out a bunch of optional "gee whiz" stuff which wasn't in the original specifications or the purchase order and concentrate on the core program code and making the thing sing and dance in the manner it was sold.
It's not really Rocket Science, but realize that it's been nearly thirty years since I last worked with PLC's and it's been nearly 20 years since I spent time writing software on any substantial basis.
Today finds me back on a ladder cleaning gutters and hanging Christmas lights and doing other home owner stuff...then there's still three or four pounds of Boston Butt that needs pulling and further processed into ...get ready...
T A M A L E S.
With real Masa dough wrapped in corn husks and steamed to perfection.
My stomach is growling just writing about them (the Tamales.)
I'm just finishing up a successful session of programming this evening...something that was mandatory if I'm going to get this contraption out the door and into my customer' hands this week.
In the past five hours I've managed to re-write a substantial portion of the front end of my PLC program and really cleaned things up--in the process jumping across a couple of logical hurdles I've been wrestling with for a few weeks now.
I've had to tear out a bunch of optional "gee whiz" stuff which wasn't in the original specifications or the purchase order and concentrate on the core program code and making the thing sing and dance in the manner it was sold.
It's not really Rocket Science, but realize that it's been nearly thirty years since I last worked with PLC's and it's been nearly 20 years since I spent time writing software on any substantial basis.
Today finds me back on a ladder cleaning gutters and hanging Christmas lights and doing other home owner stuff...then there's still three or four pounds of Boston Butt that needs pulling and further processed into ...get ready...
T A M A L E S.
With real Masa dough wrapped in corn husks and steamed to perfection.
My stomach is growling just writing about them (the Tamales.)
Sunday, December 13, 2009
My Butt's Been Brined & Seared
And Now It (A Boston Butt) Is Sitting In The Oven...
I love writing about cooking a Boston Butt almost as much as I love slow cooking a Boston Butt, because I get to write the word "Butt" and nobody can take offence to my content.
See, I just wrote the word "Butt" three times in one sentence.
Now I've written "Butt" five times in three sentences, but (but not "Butt") it doesn't stop there.
Even though it's a Sunday, I'll probably end up SAYING the word "Butt" several dozen times and not once be making reference to any politician or ex-wife or former business partner.
How can one person be allowed to have so much simple fun?
I say that you need to get off your Butt, get yourself a Butt, start by Brining it, and find out...
I love writing about cooking a Boston Butt almost as much as I love slow cooking a Boston Butt, because I get to write the word "Butt" and nobody can take offence to my content.
See, I just wrote the word "Butt" three times in one sentence.
Now I've written "Butt" five times in three sentences, but (but not "Butt") it doesn't stop there.
Even though it's a Sunday, I'll probably end up SAYING the word "Butt" several dozen times and not once be making reference to any politician or ex-wife or former business partner.
How can one person be allowed to have so much simple fun?
I say that you need to get off your Butt, get yourself a Butt, start by Brining it, and find out...
Stuff That Blows My Mind
Positive Thinking & Blogging...
I've found myself sitting here this morning wide awake, when I should probably be asleep, checking the FedEX website following the "tracking numbers" on a couple of boxes worth a couple of thousand dollars to me in the next month if they get to their destination safely and perform as intended/specified.
Being somewhat of a hopeless romantic, I can't help but think about how far the business world has come since my first days in my first job--as an idiot intern after high school graduation at the United States Army Aeromedical Research Lab (USAARL) at Ft. Rucker, Alabama.
Back then these guys, being on the forefront of technology...while still using carbon paper in some of the typewriters...had these fancy clunky dedicated IBM "word processors."
I thought that it was pretty cool and couldn't keep my hands of them when the Secretaries were at lunch. (the Word Processors...not the Secretaries...OK maybe one of them...)
In 1978 a "word processor" was basically a typewriter with memory...a machine with something the size of a bar/dorm room refrigerator attached to it that could spit out letters and forms while you filled in the blanks with the answers to "Dear..." and "Sincerely..." being the only variables in the equation.
Fast forward to yesterday morning and I wrote three purchase orders, one invoice, and a couple of packing slips and printed them out in color, in triplicate, without a shred of carbon paper in sight.
Then as to communicating with my customer and keeping them up to date?
In 1983, in my first real Engineering job, with a company located off Peachtree Street, we still had the carbon paper in Miss Eller's Typewriter and we were just converting from rotary to touch tone telephones in Atlanta, but only Robert Wagner and Stefanie Powers on the TV show "Hart to Hart had cell phones--and those were the size of a cinder block and were mounted in the trunk of their Mercedes Benz 450 SL Convertibles.
At that time people still used telex and telegraph machines in their offices, and we would have two or three weeks to do a proposal because you had to allow for the US Post office or UPS to deliver the package across the country.
Today everybody wants to ask for a proposal in the morning and expects to have a price by 5 PM regardless of the circumstances or quality of the efforts involved.
I think we all end up paying more for the speed of the answer rather than the end result of the overall efforts involved in producing the product...better to err high than low on the price and lose money.
The first time I used a FAX machine was sometime about 1986 and it was a borrowed transmission at my old GT roommates' company to get a proposal out the door before the deadline.
Today almost everyone has fax machines or fax capability on their computers but let's face it...
other than the idiots in GOVERNMENT OFFICES, fax transmissions have pretty much been rendered obsolete by E-mail attachments of MS Word documents or PDF copies of same.
And that brings me back to my current freight shipments this past week, and the technology that allows me to follow my packages across the country from Knoxville to Kansas City.
I know my stuff was in Nashville yesterday, and I know it continues westward this morning.
And I know all of that by simply pecking on a computer keyboard and entering a few numbers.
I can do the same thing from my Web enabled Verizon LG Dare Touch Screen Cell Phone.
Sometimes I guess it makes sense to stop complaining, especially during the holiday season, and acknowledge how good things have been in 2009.
Not perfect, but it could have been a lot worse...
I've found myself sitting here this morning wide awake, when I should probably be asleep, checking the FedEX website following the "tracking numbers" on a couple of boxes worth a couple of thousand dollars to me in the next month if they get to their destination safely and perform as intended/specified.
Being somewhat of a hopeless romantic, I can't help but think about how far the business world has come since my first days in my first job--as an idiot intern after high school graduation at the United States Army Aeromedical Research Lab (USAARL) at Ft. Rucker, Alabama.
Back then these guys, being on the forefront of technology...while still using carbon paper in some of the typewriters...had these fancy clunky dedicated IBM "word processors."
I thought that it was pretty cool and couldn't keep my hands of them when the Secretaries were at lunch. (the Word Processors...not the Secretaries...OK maybe one of them...)
In 1978 a "word processor" was basically a typewriter with memory...a machine with something the size of a bar/dorm room refrigerator attached to it that could spit out letters and forms while you filled in the blanks with the answers to "Dear..." and "Sincerely..." being the only variables in the equation.
Fast forward to yesterday morning and I wrote three purchase orders, one invoice, and a couple of packing slips and printed them out in color, in triplicate, without a shred of carbon paper in sight.
Then as to communicating with my customer and keeping them up to date?
In 1983, in my first real Engineering job, with a company located off Peachtree Street, we still had the carbon paper in Miss Eller's Typewriter and we were just converting from rotary to touch tone telephones in Atlanta, but only Robert Wagner and Stefanie Powers on the TV show "Hart to Hart had cell phones--and those were the size of a cinder block and were mounted in the trunk of their Mercedes Benz 450 SL Convertibles.
At that time people still used telex and telegraph machines in their offices, and we would have two or three weeks to do a proposal because you had to allow for the US Post office or UPS to deliver the package across the country.
Today everybody wants to ask for a proposal in the morning and expects to have a price by 5 PM regardless of the circumstances or quality of the efforts involved.
I think we all end up paying more for the speed of the answer rather than the end result of the overall efforts involved in producing the product...better to err high than low on the price and lose money.
The first time I used a FAX machine was sometime about 1986 and it was a borrowed transmission at my old GT roommates' company to get a proposal out the door before the deadline.
Today almost everyone has fax machines or fax capability on their computers but let's face it...
other than the idiots in GOVERNMENT OFFICES, fax transmissions have pretty much been rendered obsolete by E-mail attachments of MS Word documents or PDF copies of same.
And that brings me back to my current freight shipments this past week, and the technology that allows me to follow my packages across the country from Knoxville to Kansas City.
I know my stuff was in Nashville yesterday, and I know it continues westward this morning.
And I know all of that by simply pecking on a computer keyboard and entering a few numbers.
I can do the same thing from my Web enabled Verizon LG Dare Touch Screen Cell Phone.
Sometimes I guess it makes sense to stop complaining, especially during the holiday season, and acknowledge how good things have been in 2009.
Not perfect, but it could have been a lot worse...
Anybody But Me Want To Slap That Moustache Off Geraldo Rivera's Face???
I'm Just Wondering...
Anybody else feel that way...because I personally can't STAND that SOB (Geraldo).
I've never have liked him.
Ever.
I guess my dislike actually goes way back in history, back to a time even before his stupid
Al Capone'sVault BS Special aired back in the mid 1980's.
Many of you are too young to remember that sad saga in his limited broadcast career, and many of us are old enough to wish that we could forget.
But we can't, and then again you know what?
At least the idiot's presence on the Fox News channel gives them further credibility to being "Fair and Balanced' because the guy is pro illegal immigrant and "anti" about everything else I stand for in my own life.
Sorry if I appear cranky...I've been up since 1 AM writing Ladder Logic program code while watching the cold rain fall here in Eastern Tennessee.
I guess that it's time now for a nap before resuming my programming duties (and there's a Boston Butt to Brine and cook between now and dinner.)
Anybody else feel that way...because I personally can't STAND that SOB (Geraldo).
I've never have liked him.
Ever.
I guess my dislike actually goes way back in history, back to a time even before his stupid
Al Capone'sVault BS Special aired back in the mid 1980's.
Many of you are too young to remember that sad saga in his limited broadcast career, and many of us are old enough to wish that we could forget.
But we can't, and then again you know what?
At least the idiot's presence on the Fox News channel gives them further credibility to being "Fair and Balanced' because the guy is pro illegal immigrant and "anti" about everything else I stand for in my own life.
Sorry if I appear cranky...I've been up since 1 AM writing Ladder Logic program code while watching the cold rain fall here in Eastern Tennessee.
I guess that it's time now for a nap before resuming my programming duties (and there's a Boston Butt to Brine and cook between now and dinner.)
Saturday, December 12, 2009
21 Degrees F In Knoxville
47 Degrees F on St. Simons Island...
Who's idea was this--leaving Our Little Island--any way?
Who's idea was this--leaving Our Little Island--any way?
One Eight Down...
Well, I managed to throw eight of my new custom 3-way pneumatic valves out the door on FedEX on Friday. Four went out in the morning in one heavy cardboard box and their cousins went out about 4:30 PM in another 23 pound shipment.
My fingers hurt from banging them on the edges of the metal components and pushing on Allen wrenches and clamping things in my bench vice because--basically I'm an office boy and have no calluses on my hands unless I'm in the middle of a home improvement project (something that's a few months behind me most recently.)
Now for the next week on the professional front
Did I mention that my customer called and ordered another duplicate panel for their Maryland Corporate Headquarters/Manufacturing facility?
They want to be able to evaluate it's performance on more than one production line and have ominously threatened me with a command performance meeting with Corporate Engineering in January.
The good news is that I have another order, the bad news I have as yet to make the first Prototype work so I either have two dead panels or two working panels. The hardware is a no-brainer, it's the software that needs a little fine tuning before it gets packed in bubble wrap and peanuts.
If things go as planned I could end up being inundated with dozens of orders for duplicate panels, and then there's a whole family of variants I'm talking to them about for delivery in 2010.
And in the mean time the %$#@ Government will continue to take my time filing forms and stealing money paying for "licences" and "permits."
And now not only do I have to file Federal Income Tax for Pat and I (fortunately the Turbo Pup is exempt as far as I can tell), but now yet another tax return for the Corporation will be due April 15th, and of course there's the State Sales Tax people to deal with and on and on and on.
I'm afraid the Government BS is going to force me back into having to have an Accountant look at things this year for the first time in over ten years, in spite of being officially "unemployed" since December 19th last year.
Isn't that a total load of crap?
A guy gets laid off, and the only thing he manages to do to earn a little income over the subsequent 12 months is sporadic consulting, sell a piece of real estate, and spend the minimum cash out of savings mandated to start a new Corporation--the only guarantee being the possibility of further losing his ass--and the Government passes laws so complex it makes him PAY someone to do the paperwork else risk making a mistake and having to pay INTEREST AND A PENALTY for an honest oversight.
%$#@ing Government...
Friday, December 11, 2009
"Out Up All Night...Sleep All Day..."
"I Don't Know Where I'm Going..." **
Date: December 11, 2009
Time: 5:36 AM EST
Location: Somewhere In A Basement In West Knoxville, TN
Mission Status: Critical
Current Plans: Ship one carton of Four Valves...Sleep...Build Four More...collapse
***With my apologies to Joe Walsh and the Eagles...
Date: December 11, 2009
Time: 5:36 AM EST
Location: Somewhere In A Basement In West Knoxville, TN
Mission Status: Critical
Current Plans: Ship one carton of Four Valves...Sleep...Build Four More...collapse
***With my apologies to Joe Walsh and the Eagles...
Thursday, December 10, 2009
It's 36 Degrees And I'm Out Hanging Lights On My House?
The Wind's Blowing In One Ear And Out The Other...
Of course I can't manage to wear gloves and do the intricate wire tied pattern on my front railings so if I start typing like rthis layter tyonighty yuyou'lklk knbnow whast happpperned.
(Frost bite in my fingers = FGrodst Buitre inb myu fgingerts.)
Heh...
Of course I can't manage to wear gloves and do the intricate wire tied pattern on my front railings so if I start typing like rthis layter tyonighty yuyou'lklk knbnow whast happpperned.
(Frost bite in my fingers = FGrodst Buitre inb myu fgingerts.)
Heh...
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Death By Lawn Tools
Don't Make Me Have To Kill You With A Rake...
I'm Pissed.
More than just a little.
My regular readers/lurkers/followers may remember last year when I spent $500 on a Monday having all of the lawn clipping and branches and trimming and other miscellaneous debris removed after a season spent cutting the overgrown shrubbery of our new 1963 vintage home...and then the VERY NEXT WEDNESDAY my asshole back yard neighbor's white pine tree fell into my yard destroying a giant Holley tree and barely missing the Turbo Pup's picket fenced in recreational area.
The guy,in his mid thirty's, came over and basically told this old crippled 50 year old (ok 49 at the time) man that he was sure sorry but since it didn't break anything his insurance wouldn't pay and that I could borrow his chain saw if I wanted.
I resisted the urge to do something to him involving removing his starched/pressed/pleated Khaki pants and hanging him from one of my trees in the front yard with his Yuppy pink tie as punishment because I'm too old to spend a night in the Knox County Jail.
The idiot never lifted a finger to help remove HIS TREE from my yard and I've never heard from him again another $200 later.
That said, right now I'm fuming because our next door neighbors--one of only two rental houses on the entire street to my knowledge--didn't remove their leaves which fell off of the two giant Oaks in their front yard this season...they just raked them into giant piles at the base of their trees.
I, on the other hand, paid my "lawn technician" to remove my leaves and I cleaned up the stuff that fell since and it's laying in two little piles in the natural areas in my back yard.
I also waited for all of the leaves to fall off of our own and all of the surrounding trees and then put out a pallet and one half of fancy dark stained Cypress mulch in all of the existing flower beds and a giant new bedding area along the front of the house.
Now guess what?
Today with the wind gusting over 40 MPH and blowing nearly constantly out of the west at 10 MPH...
can you guess who's yard is clean and who's yard looks like it hasn't been raked this fall?
And can you guess who's cypress mulch flower beds are full of leaves?
Maybe you can understand why I ask that somebody please consider coming down to the police station and posting bail if you don't hear from me for a couple of days.
MORE (at 4:00 AM)
I've had time to think about this issue and it gives me pause to consider the value of things like "neighborhood covenants" and idiotic "Homeowners Associations" (something I've been the president of a long time ago in another life.)
Still, the idea of home owner's renting houses in generally owner occupied neighborhoods and not including "lawn maintenance" in their rental prices in my Redneck mind could be something the general public should rise up and solve on their own...without government intervention.
I'm half way considering calling my lawn guy, having him clean up my front yard into a giant pile, and then taking the leaves over and dumping them in my neighbor's carport or on his front porch.
If he doesn't actually see me doing it, what can he do?
"Hey dude...act of Nature/God...life sucks sometimes..."
I'm Pissed.
More than just a little.
My regular readers/lurkers/followers may remember last year when I spent $500 on a Monday having all of the lawn clipping and branches and trimming and other miscellaneous debris removed after a season spent cutting the overgrown shrubbery of our new 1963 vintage home...and then the VERY NEXT WEDNESDAY my asshole back yard neighbor's white pine tree fell into my yard destroying a giant Holley tree and barely missing the Turbo Pup's picket fenced in recreational area.
The guy,in his mid thirty's, came over and basically told this old crippled 50 year old (ok 49 at the time) man that he was sure sorry but since it didn't break anything his insurance wouldn't pay and that I could borrow his chain saw if I wanted.
I resisted the urge to do something to him involving removing his starched/pressed/pleated Khaki pants and hanging him from one of my trees in the front yard with his Yuppy pink tie as punishment because I'm too old to spend a night in the Knox County Jail.
The idiot never lifted a finger to help remove HIS TREE from my yard and I've never heard from him again another $200 later.
That said, right now I'm fuming because our next door neighbors--one of only two rental houses on the entire street to my knowledge--didn't remove their leaves which fell off of the two giant Oaks in their front yard this season...they just raked them into giant piles at the base of their trees.
I, on the other hand, paid my "lawn technician" to remove my leaves and I cleaned up the stuff that fell since and it's laying in two little piles in the natural areas in my back yard.
I also waited for all of the leaves to fall off of our own and all of the surrounding trees and then put out a pallet and one half of fancy dark stained Cypress mulch in all of the existing flower beds and a giant new bedding area along the front of the house.
Now guess what?
Today with the wind gusting over 40 MPH and blowing nearly constantly out of the west at 10 MPH...
can you guess who's yard is clean and who's yard looks like it hasn't been raked this fall?
And can you guess who's cypress mulch flower beds are full of leaves?
Maybe you can understand why I ask that somebody please consider coming down to the police station and posting bail if you don't hear from me for a couple of days.
MORE (at 4:00 AM)
I've had time to think about this issue and it gives me pause to consider the value of things like "neighborhood covenants" and idiotic "Homeowners Associations" (something I've been the president of a long time ago in another life.)
Still, the idea of home owner's renting houses in generally owner occupied neighborhoods and not including "lawn maintenance" in their rental prices in my Redneck mind could be something the general public should rise up and solve on their own...without government intervention.
I'm half way considering calling my lawn guy, having him clean up my front yard into a giant pile, and then taking the leaves over and dumping them in my neighbor's carport or on his front porch.
If he doesn't actually see me doing it, what can he do?
"Hey dude...act of Nature/God...life sucks sometimes..."
"Chest Nuts" Roasting On An Open Fire...
But What If I'm A 'THIGH' Man??????
OK...everybody settle down after trying to understand the overt meaning of my title and subtitle, and take this quick posting under my new Blog category of "consumer griping" for what it's worth...because last night I cooked a dish--in this case Parma Rosa Chicken with Vegetables--and it reminded me to publicly ask this question:
"Has anyone out there but me noticed that boneless Chicken Thighs cost more than boneless Chicken Breasts in the grocer these days...even ON SALE?"
What's up that?
I guess that it could be that just like the "Buffalo Wings" craze made the price of Chicken Wing Futures go through the roof over the past half century, and today many people have discovered that the other "dark meat" cuts of chicken are capable of adding an interesting flavor and texture to things like Stir Fry and some other rustic pasta dishes I like to produce in my kitchen.
And just in case you hadn't noticed the price differential at your local Kroger, feel free to remember that you heard it here first...
Consider it my December "Public Service Announcement."
Now would someone knock me in the head and make me sleep for more than TWO or THREE hours in a row?
Nightie Night...
OK...everybody settle down after trying to understand the overt meaning of my title and subtitle, and take this quick posting under my new Blog category of "consumer griping" for what it's worth...because last night I cooked a dish--in this case Parma Rosa Chicken with Vegetables--and it reminded me to publicly ask this question:
"Has anyone out there but me noticed that boneless Chicken Thighs cost more than boneless Chicken Breasts in the grocer these days...even ON SALE?"
What's up that?
I guess that it could be that just like the "Buffalo Wings" craze made the price of Chicken Wing Futures go through the roof over the past half century, and today many people have discovered that the other "dark meat" cuts of chicken are capable of adding an interesting flavor and texture to things like Stir Fry and some other rustic pasta dishes I like to produce in my kitchen.
And just in case you hadn't noticed the price differential at your local Kroger, feel free to remember that you heard it here first...
Consider it my December "Public Service Announcement."
Now would someone knock me in the head and make me sleep for more than TWO or THREE hours in a row?
Nightie Night...
I'm Heckling The Contestants On Food Network?
Soul Searching Revelations...
OK People, I hate to admit that I'm getting so obsessed with Food Network that I watch the re-runs of "Chopped" or "Next Iron Chef" or any one of their other competition shows...just so that I can criticize the losing contestants.
Well...
On second thought...
Maybe not... (NOT!)
It's just that once in a while Glenn and Neil and Mr. Bill and Sean and Gretta and the balance of the FOX News channel's reruns get the best of me and I know that I can recite the dialogue from all of the Andy Griffith and M*A*S*H reruns...
SO...
Here I am alone in the "Mission Control" area of my shop at Midnight watching the same "Chopped" episode I saw earlier today...not exactly one of the most exciting Midnight's I've spent over the past 20 years-but a Man's gotta do what a Man's gotta do...and live with the consequences thereafter.
It's sorta interesting to remember that it'sfive o'clock Midnight somewhere every hour on the hour...
...and my PLC programming efforts call.
OK People, I hate to admit that I'm getting so obsessed with Food Network that I watch the re-runs of "Chopped" or "Next Iron Chef" or any one of their other competition shows...just so that I can criticize the losing contestants.
Well...
On second thought...
Maybe not... (NOT!)
It's just that once in a while Glenn and Neil and Mr. Bill and Sean and Gretta and the balance of the FOX News channel's reruns get the best of me and I know that I can recite the dialogue from all of the Andy Griffith and M*A*S*H reruns...
SO...
Here I am alone in the "Mission Control" area of my shop at Midnight watching the same "Chopped" episode I saw earlier today...not exactly one of the most exciting Midnight's I've spent over the past 20 years-but a Man's gotta do what a Man's gotta do...and live with the consequences thereafter.
It's sorta interesting to remember that it's
...and my PLC programming efforts call.
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
"Blue Skys....Comin' My Way..."
Everybody...Sing Along With Me...
Maybe I should actually be doing "Singin' In The Rain", but I don't really care that it's raining outside here in Eastern Tennessee at the Turbo Pup compound on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River this afternoon.
It's supposed to keep raining most of the week and end up possibly snowing on us again Friday Night/Saturday Morning...
But I don't care.
"Jimmy Cracked Corn" and people didn't care back then either.
(Everyone please excuse me...I'm loopie from lack of sleep...)
You see, in the past 24 hours I have managed to pretty well solve all of the stupid problems I was having with two projects--one a nerdy high tech computer based control system panel--and the other a "light blue collar" dirty fingernail type pneumatic valve rebuild project I've taken on having never actually rebuilt a valve like this before.
I trust you, my dear reader (and Rusty and Roy) to not tell anyone this horrible secret.
BTW, did I mention that these specialty valves like this built in France cost over $1,500 EACH...NEW?
I actually have ten of them sitting here (laughing at me if they could) and I have to have at least four torn down, cleaned, polished, with new guts and seals and gaskets and O-rings installed, and back in a box in the Big Brown Truck by Friday.
And for the past ten days I've been crawling around here kicking my own butt and asking myself "what the heck were you thinking Virgil???"
Everything looked easy when I took the order after looking at one sample valve, but I made the mistake of not completely taking every single snap ring and rolled pin and cam follower out of the beast, and when all of it's friends arrived they proceeded to gang up on me and like some sort of Macabre Machine-Shop Video Game present hurdle after Hurdle after HURDLE of annoying little problems emanating from the silly little details I had ignored in the bid process.
In the end it all came down to a stupid little stainless steel roller bearing shaft that was friction fit into each valve assembly and was apparently super glued into place by my predecessors.
But in the end...
...wait a minute...the UPS driver's here...I got to look in the box...
I'm back...let me catch my breath...
I'm so excited...I just received my 2 ounce quantity sample shipment of Christo-Lube 116, and another 2 ounce jar of Christo-Lube 132
I SAID "Cristo-Lube"...
NOT Crisco-Lube...
And get your mind out of the Gutter people (and you know who you are). You can go here (Lubricationtechnology.com) if you don't believe that I have a legitimate reason for needing something called "Cristo-Lube"--something besides "Bear Grease" or "Owl Shit" to lubricate these very expensive valve assemblies I was writing about.
(UPS really did just arrive...)
But I digress...
Any way, then after the first valve shipment I need to have four more flying and/or rolling down the road by Monday or Tuesday next week, and in my spare time I have to finish the PLC Ladder Logic Programming and get the panel packed in bubble wrap and peanuts and out the door by next Friday, sooooooooo...
You'll have to excuse me because I have to go now and get back to work.
Maybe I should actually be doing "Singin' In The Rain", but I don't really care that it's raining outside here in Eastern Tennessee at the Turbo Pup compound on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River this afternoon.
It's supposed to keep raining most of the week and end up possibly snowing on us again Friday Night/Saturday Morning...
But I don't care.
"Jimmy Cracked Corn" and people didn't care back then either.
(Everyone please excuse me...I'm loopie from lack of sleep...)
You see, in the past 24 hours I have managed to pretty well solve all of the stupid problems I was having with two projects--one a nerdy high tech computer based control system panel--and the other a "light blue collar" dirty fingernail type pneumatic valve rebuild project I've taken on having never actually rebuilt a valve like this before.
I trust you, my dear reader (and Rusty and Roy) to not tell anyone this horrible secret.
BTW, did I mention that these specialty valves like this built in France cost over $1,500 EACH...NEW?
I actually have ten of them sitting here (laughing at me if they could) and I have to have at least four torn down, cleaned, polished, with new guts and seals and gaskets and O-rings installed, and back in a box in the Big Brown Truck by Friday.
And for the past ten days I've been crawling around here kicking my own butt and asking myself "what the heck were you thinking Virgil???"
Everything looked easy when I took the order after looking at one sample valve, but I made the mistake of not completely taking every single snap ring and rolled pin and cam follower out of the beast, and when all of it's friends arrived they proceeded to gang up on me and like some sort of Macabre Machine-Shop Video Game present hurdle after Hurdle after HURDLE of annoying little problems emanating from the silly little details I had ignored in the bid process.
In the end it all came down to a stupid little stainless steel roller bearing shaft that was friction fit into each valve assembly and was apparently super glued into place by my predecessors.
But in the end...
...wait a minute...the UPS driver's here...I got to look in the box...
I'm back...let me catch my breath...
I'm so excited...I just received my 2 ounce quantity sample shipment of Christo-Lube 116, and another 2 ounce jar of Christo-Lube 132
I SAID "Cristo-Lube"...
NOT Crisco-Lube...
And get your mind out of the Gutter people (and you know who you are). You can go here (Lubricationtechnology.com) if you don't believe that I have a legitimate reason for needing something called "Cristo-Lube"--something besides "Bear Grease" or "Owl Shit" to lubricate these very expensive valve assemblies I was writing about.
(UPS really did just arrive...)
But I digress...
Any way, then after the first valve shipment I need to have four more flying and/or rolling down the road by Monday or Tuesday next week, and in my spare time I have to finish the PLC Ladder Logic Programming and get the panel packed in bubble wrap and peanuts and out the door by next Friday, sooooooooo...
You'll have to excuse me because I have to go now and get back to work.
Lost In My Own Basement
Fortunately it's heated and has a Sofa Bed...
I just realized that I've spent more time in my basement workshop in the past two weeks than I've spent in my upstairs office or bedroom.
I've even found myself sleeping a few times in the 4th bedroom and woke up wondering where the heck I was laying there in the dark.
The Turbo Pup, who has historically spent little time at the bottom of the stairs, has taken to coming down and barking at me and checking on me when I don't wrestle with her enough.
Unfortunately my blogging will probably continue to be light for the balance of the week until I get some finished products out the door and a few invoices written.
Feel free to entertain yourselves in the mean time...
I just realized that I've spent more time in my basement workshop in the past two weeks than I've spent in my upstairs office or bedroom.
I've even found myself sleeping a few times in the 4th bedroom and woke up wondering where the heck I was laying there in the dark.
The Turbo Pup, who has historically spent little time at the bottom of the stairs, has taken to coming down and barking at me and checking on me when I don't wrestle with her enough.
Unfortunately my blogging will probably continue to be light for the balance of the week until I get some finished products out the door and a few invoices written.
Feel free to entertain yourselves in the mean time...
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Sunday Lethargy
Ho Hum...
Well, the college football regular season is over and the bowl games that really mean anything won't begin until the end of December, so I have an extra four hours for the next few weekends that I'm going to have to figure something to do with myself.
The house is in pretty good shape inside and out, with the only ongoing projects being the final staining and finish on the two new exterior wood door slabs I bought back in September in the middle of the Kitchen floor project.
Fortunately we have storm doors on both openings so the weather won't be a problem...and the front door slab is still awaiting hinge slots and hardware holes--something I'll probably do in the basement unless the weather warms up for a few days.
On the political front, I see where Dingy Harry Reid is up to his normal BS...calling a Sunday afternoon Senate session and a pow wow with President Obamarama to try to slip some more money into the the miserable piece of legislation they call a "Healthcare Bill" and getting the whole thing passed before Christmas.
If they do manage to get it done just realize we've all basically will have gotten a giant dusty lump of coal crammed into our Christmas Stockings courtesy of a Government that could care less what the American People think or want.
Then I read the most obtuse, feckless ASSociated Press article in the local paper this morning, subtitled an "Analysis" talking about "some experts say[ing] the world is losing the battle against Global Warming and warn that humans need to follow natures example: Adapt or die."
What total unmitigated BS.
The article then goes on to spew the typical Eco Friendly Greenie Weenie Tree hugger crap about rising temperatures forcing animals and plants to relocate or adapt (I call it "Evolve") and rising sea levels threatening every thing and every one from New York City to California and everywhere in between.
"Some biologists point to how nature has handled the changing climate. The rare Adonis Blue Butterfly of Britain looked as if it was going to disappear because it couldn't fly far and global warming was making its habitat unbearable. To biologists surprise it evolved longer thoraxes and wings, allowing it to fly farther to cooler locals."
Would somebody cry me a River over this horse hockey?
These same kind of idiots would have stood around the La Brea Tar Pit in Los Angeles and told congress it was Mankind's' fault the Woolly Mammoths and Saber Toothed Tigers were jumping in the tar pit because they were committing suicide running from rising sea levels and cooling global temperatures caused by Exxon and Con Edison.
How can these people keep a straight face when they hyperventilate and look at things that are happening (or not happening in the case of significant rising sea levels and atmospheric temperatures) and bend the effects and causes and results to fit their own stupid political agendas.
The article's author closes by telling us our Community Organizer President wants to give away $1.2 billion of taxpayer dollars for "international climate aid."
The World Bank and the UN and a bunch of other sniveling, booger eating, tree hugging, patchouli stinking "experts" and "activists" then go on to say "...$10 to $12 billion a year through 2012" ...wait...no "...more like $75 billion to $100 billion a year over the next 40 years" ...hold on..."it may even be $200 billion a year or $300 billion..."
How in the world can anyone have any confidence in numbers like that being casually tossed around and varying in a range of over 3000%.
That's a THREE THOUSAND PERCENT range of estimates of how much of other people's money it's going to take to move poor people out of countries that started out below sea level back about 1000 BC--places like Bangladesh and Thailand and even Denmark and the Netherlands.
They want to pass some new world wide taxes on "rich nations" and then run out and do things like build seawalls and dikes and levies and even build houses on stilts that are taller than the stilts the houses are already built on.
What a bunch of highly educated IDIOTS.
I have a suggestion made by my old Comedic Idol Sam Kinison....
Wouldn't it be cheaper to send them Luggage?
And packing crates, moving boxes, and U-hauls?
And give them maps showing flood plains and telling them to get the heck out and move to dry land?
I swear people, if we continue to let these wild eyed, hand wringing, professional victims and their corrupt politicians reach further and further into our economy and YOUR and MY WALLETS, all we're going to get in return for our "investment" is the opportunity to avoid drowning in rising oceans and seas and instead end up drowning in a NEW MAN MADE SEA...
A SEA OF RED INK...
Is it just ME?
Think about it and get back to me when you have the time...
That will be all...for now...
Well, the college football regular season is over and the bowl games that really mean anything won't begin until the end of December, so I have an extra four hours for the next few weekends that I'm going to have to figure something to do with myself.
The house is in pretty good shape inside and out, with the only ongoing projects being the final staining and finish on the two new exterior wood door slabs I bought back in September in the middle of the Kitchen floor project.
Fortunately we have storm doors on both openings so the weather won't be a problem...and the front door slab is still awaiting hinge slots and hardware holes--something I'll probably do in the basement unless the weather warms up for a few days.
On the political front, I see where Dingy Harry Reid is up to his normal BS...calling a Sunday afternoon Senate session and a pow wow with President Obamarama to try to slip some more money into the the miserable piece of legislation they call a "Healthcare Bill" and getting the whole thing passed before Christmas.
If they do manage to get it done just realize we've all basically will have gotten a giant dusty lump of coal crammed into our Christmas Stockings courtesy of a Government that could care less what the American People think or want.
Then I read the most obtuse, feckless ASSociated Press article in the local paper this morning, subtitled an "Analysis" talking about "some experts say[ing] the world is losing the battle against Global Warming and warn that humans need to follow natures example: Adapt or die."
What total unmitigated BS.
The article then goes on to spew the typical Eco Friendly Greenie Weenie Tree hugger crap about rising temperatures forcing animals and plants to relocate or adapt (I call it "Evolve") and rising sea levels threatening every thing and every one from New York City to California and everywhere in between.
"Some biologists point to how nature has handled the changing climate. The rare Adonis Blue Butterfly of Britain looked as if it was going to disappear because it couldn't fly far and global warming was making its habitat unbearable. To biologists surprise it evolved longer thoraxes and wings, allowing it to fly farther to cooler locals."
Would somebody cry me a River over this horse hockey?
These same kind of idiots would have stood around the La Brea Tar Pit in Los Angeles and told congress it was Mankind's' fault the Woolly Mammoths and Saber Toothed Tigers were jumping in the tar pit because they were committing suicide running from rising sea levels and cooling global temperatures caused by Exxon and Con Edison.
How can these people keep a straight face when they hyperventilate and look at things that are happening (or not happening in the case of significant rising sea levels and atmospheric temperatures) and bend the effects and causes and results to fit their own stupid political agendas.
The article's author closes by telling us our Community Organizer President wants to give away $1.2 billion of taxpayer dollars for "international climate aid."
The World Bank and the UN and a bunch of other sniveling, booger eating, tree hugging, patchouli stinking "experts" and "activists" then go on to say "...$10 to $12 billion a year through 2012" ...wait...no "...more like $75 billion to $100 billion a year over the next 40 years" ...hold on..."it may even be $200 billion a year or $300 billion..."
How in the world can anyone have any confidence in numbers like that being casually tossed around and varying in a range of over 3000%.
That's a THREE THOUSAND PERCENT range of estimates of how much of other people's money it's going to take to move poor people out of countries that started out below sea level back about 1000 BC--places like Bangladesh and Thailand and even Denmark and the Netherlands.
They want to pass some new world wide taxes on "rich nations" and then run out and do things like build seawalls and dikes and levies and even build houses on stilts that are taller than the stilts the houses are already built on.
What a bunch of highly educated IDIOTS.
I have a suggestion made by my old Comedic Idol Sam Kinison....
Wouldn't it be cheaper to send them Luggage?
And packing crates, moving boxes, and U-hauls?
And give them maps showing flood plains and telling them to get the heck out and move to dry land?
I swear people, if we continue to let these wild eyed, hand wringing, professional victims and their corrupt politicians reach further and further into our economy and YOUR and MY WALLETS, all we're going to get in return for our "investment" is the opportunity to avoid drowning in rising oceans and seas and instead end up drowning in a NEW MAN MADE SEA...
A SEA OF RED INK...
Is it just ME?
Think about it and get back to me when you have the time...
That will be all...for now...
We're Orange Bowling
Broadcasting Live From The Edge Of The Bermuda Triangle...
Well Ladies & Gentlemen, just in case you missed the game, my beloved Georgia Tech Yellow Jacket Football team managed to slip past a determined Clemson Tiger Team last night down in Tampa in the ACC Championship Game.
We had to beat them twice in the same season to get to where we are and I know my fellow Tech Alumni friends in the Upstate of South Carolina will get a little boost out of the silence which is going to ensue for the next nine or ten months.
I didn't know whether to sit down or stand up while yelling until the very end...but they pulled it off and in spite of the loss to the University of Georgia last weekend (and Miami in the second game of the season) it looks like this season's bowl opportunity--the Orange Bowl in Miami January 5th--was not diminished in the process.
In fact, they'd probably end up playing in the Orange even if they were undefeated because Boise State and Texas and Florida and my other favorite team Bama are still ahead of them in the process.
Now all I have to do is figure out how to justify driving down the Florida Atlantic coast and buying a cheap scalper ticket for the game--something that makes absolutely no sense in light of our current employment/income situations.
And I guess that they wouldn't let the Turbo Pup in to watch the game so I guess we'll just end up watching it somewhere on TV.
In other news, in passing (while not paying much attention), I heard that Saturday was the anniversary of the infamous Navy Flight 19's disappearance into what we call today the "Bermuda Triangle" (December 5th, 1945.)
I've never bought into the UFO and ESP and other "space alien black hole" theories relating to that whole set of events, but still one has to wonder what the heck happened to FIVE perfectly good airplanes.
And then on a more somber note I recommend you join me in remembering the anniversary of the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941.
Fewer and fewer Americans today even have any direct memory of or any close relatives that were alive or were participating in the military during that sad chapter of world history.
It was the equivalent to the 9/11 for the American people during that part of the 20th century...long before the wild eyed peaceful Muslims killed near 3000 people on the East Coast of the US.
If you know a WWII veteran you should take the time to thank them for their service because they're getting to be few and far between and if it were't for their efforts we might be speaking German rather than talking about cooking German dishes on this blog.
Well Ladies & Gentlemen, just in case you missed the game, my beloved Georgia Tech Yellow Jacket Football team managed to slip past a determined Clemson Tiger Team last night down in Tampa in the ACC Championship Game.
We had to beat them twice in the same season to get to where we are and I know my fellow Tech Alumni friends in the Upstate of South Carolina will get a little boost out of the silence which is going to ensue for the next nine or ten months.
I didn't know whether to sit down or stand up while yelling until the very end...but they pulled it off and in spite of the loss to the University of Georgia last weekend (and Miami in the second game of the season) it looks like this season's bowl opportunity--the Orange Bowl in Miami January 5th--was not diminished in the process.
In fact, they'd probably end up playing in the Orange even if they were undefeated because Boise State and Texas and Florida and my other favorite team Bama are still ahead of them in the process.
Now all I have to do is figure out how to justify driving down the Florida Atlantic coast and buying a cheap scalper ticket for the game--something that makes absolutely no sense in light of our current employment/income situations.
And I guess that they wouldn't let the Turbo Pup in to watch the game so I guess we'll just end up watching it somewhere on TV.
In other news, in passing (while not paying much attention), I heard that Saturday was the anniversary of the infamous Navy Flight 19's disappearance into what we call today the "Bermuda Triangle" (December 5th, 1945.)
I've never bought into the UFO and ESP and other "space alien black hole" theories relating to that whole set of events, but still one has to wonder what the heck happened to FIVE perfectly good airplanes.
And then on a more somber note I recommend you join me in remembering the anniversary of the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941.
Fewer and fewer Americans today even have any direct memory of or any close relatives that were alive or were participating in the military during that sad chapter of world history.
It was the equivalent to the 9/11 for the American people during that part of the 20th century...long before the wild eyed peaceful Muslims killed near 3000 people on the East Coast of the US.
If you know a WWII veteran you should take the time to thank them for their service because they're getting to be few and far between and if it were't for their efforts we might be speaking German rather than talking about cooking German dishes on this blog.
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Please Pass The Schnitzel, Wurst, & "Rinder Rouladen"
And You Better Super-Size My Lederhosen While You're At It...
Funny thing...
In my cooking adventures over the past ten or fifteen years I've discovered that in order to perfect any given dish I generally have to cook it three or four times in the space of ten days or two weeks in order to understand the process and fine tune the results.
I just can't cook something new and different once and then come back to it six months or a year later--particularly when I might be under the pressure of cooking for guests--and really know what I'm doing and have all of the subtleties and nuances of the flavors involved under control.
For instance, my basic German cooking has progressed from just slopping some canned Sauerkraut into a skillet to heat beside some unidentified sausage to today toasting Caraway seeds in a skillet, rendering some crispy bacon for the grease, and then cooking a premium Kraut down in the grease and some beef or chicken stock until it's tender and brown and serving with some nice hot seared Bratwurst and Knackwurst and two or three kinds of spicy mustard.
Moving a step further, I've been working on the seasoning and breading of Pork and chicken to produce authentic "Schnitzel" (hint...pound the meat flat with a hammer or old shoe or a meat mallet if you have one, then dip in flour, egg wash, and plain cracker crumbs and fry lightly in peanut oil.)
Hey...I think that I just wrote the shortest recipe ever
Ahem...now back to this afternoon's oratory...
Then this week after buying some really nice looking beef tenderloins, in the process of butchering them down into 1-1/4 to 1-1/2" thick steaks I am also cutting out some nice thin "butterfly portions" about a quarter inch thick and tonight I'm cooking a dish called Rouladen (or Rinder Rouladen i.e. German Beef) for the second time in three days.
According to my Internet research it's usually made with round steak or flank steak or some of the other lower cuts of Beef, but since I'm a self proclaimed "steak snob" and I have plenty of Tenderloin handy, here's the Recipe if you want to try it and cook along with me:
German Rinder Rouladen for Two
The Bill of Materials:
2 thin fillets of Beef Tenderloin, butterflyed open and about 3/16" to 1/4" thick
3 or 4 slices bacon-cooked crisp
Dill Pickle spears, cut in half down the middle
Julienned Carrot sticks (optional)
1/4 medium onion sliced thin
1 can beef broth
Spicy mustard
salt
fresh ground black pepper
TBSP or two of flour
1/4 stick of butter
Cooked Egg noodles, or Linguine/Fettuccine pasta, al dente
The Construction Procedure:
Cut your Bacon strips in half and toss them in a heavy skillet on medium heat and cook until they are done and as crispy as you like them, then saute your onion slivers/slices in the left over grease and reserve with the bacon on the side on some paper towels.
Now kick the heat up a little on the skillet and sear your tenderloin butterflies lightly on both sides, being careful not to cook things too done (it's not going to be rare or even medium rare unless you modify the process but still you don't want to make shoe leather out of premium beef.)
Pull them out of the skillet and add your broth and start it simmering, and spread a uniform layer of your mustard on one side of each of the beef slabs.
Add a slice of bacon or bacon crumbles (your choice) and then the dill pickle spear (and carrot slice if you want) and roll the whole thing up and pin it closed with toothpicks.
Doesn't that look yummy?
Now put it in the skillet in your broth and cook covered over low/medium low heat for about 30 to 45 minutes, stopping back by to turn things over after the first 15 or 20 minutes.
When it's all nice and hot you can pull out your Rouladen and sprinkle in a little flour and butter and stir up some gravy from the left over juice.
I plan on serving mine tonight over some Fettuccine (no egg noodles in the building and I'm too lazy to go back to the Grocer) with some warm Red Cabbage slaw on the side.
Enjoy Yall...
The Redneck Gourmet
Funny thing...
In my cooking adventures over the past ten or fifteen years I've discovered that in order to perfect any given dish I generally have to cook it three or four times in the space of ten days or two weeks in order to understand the process and fine tune the results.
I just can't cook something new and different once and then come back to it six months or a year later--particularly when I might be under the pressure of cooking for guests--and really know what I'm doing and have all of the subtleties and nuances of the flavors involved under control.
For instance, my basic German cooking has progressed from just slopping some canned Sauerkraut into a skillet to heat beside some unidentified sausage to today toasting Caraway seeds in a skillet, rendering some crispy bacon for the grease, and then cooking a premium Kraut down in the grease and some beef or chicken stock until it's tender and brown and serving with some nice hot seared Bratwurst and Knackwurst and two or three kinds of spicy mustard.
Moving a step further, I've been working on the seasoning and breading of Pork and chicken to produce authentic "Schnitzel" (hint...pound the meat flat with a hammer or old shoe or a meat mallet if you have one, then dip in flour, egg wash, and plain cracker crumbs and fry lightly in peanut oil.)
Hey...I think that I just wrote the shortest recipe ever
Ahem...now back to this afternoon's oratory...
Then this week after buying some really nice looking beef tenderloins, in the process of butchering them down into 1-1/4 to 1-1/2" thick steaks I am also cutting out some nice thin "butterfly portions" about a quarter inch thick and tonight I'm cooking a dish called Rouladen (or Rinder Rouladen i.e. German Beef) for the second time in three days.
According to my Internet research it's usually made with round steak or flank steak or some of the other lower cuts of Beef, but since I'm a self proclaimed "steak snob" and I have plenty of Tenderloin handy, here's the Recipe if you want to try it and cook along with me:
German Rinder Rouladen for Two
The Bill of Materials:
2 thin fillets of Beef Tenderloin, butterflyed open and about 3/16" to 1/4" thick
3 or 4 slices bacon-cooked crisp
Dill Pickle spears, cut in half down the middle
Julienned Carrot sticks (optional)
1/4 medium onion sliced thin
1 can beef broth
Spicy mustard
salt
fresh ground black pepper
TBSP or two of flour
1/4 stick of butter
Cooked Egg noodles, or Linguine/Fettuccine pasta, al dente
The Construction Procedure:
Cut your Bacon strips in half and toss them in a heavy skillet on medium heat and cook until they are done and as crispy as you like them, then saute your onion slivers/slices in the left over grease and reserve with the bacon on the side on some paper towels.
Now kick the heat up a little on the skillet and sear your tenderloin butterflies lightly on both sides, being careful not to cook things too done (it's not going to be rare or even medium rare unless you modify the process but still you don't want to make shoe leather out of premium beef.)
Pull them out of the skillet and add your broth and start it simmering, and spread a uniform layer of your mustard on one side of each of the beef slabs.
Add a slice of bacon or bacon crumbles (your choice) and then the dill pickle spear (and carrot slice if you want) and roll the whole thing up and pin it closed with toothpicks.
Doesn't that look yummy?
Now put it in the skillet in your broth and cook covered over low/medium low heat for about 30 to 45 minutes, stopping back by to turn things over after the first 15 or 20 minutes.
When it's all nice and hot you can pull out your Rouladen and sprinkle in a little flour and butter and stir up some gravy from the left over juice.
I plan on serving mine tonight over some Fettuccine (no egg noodles in the building and I'm too lazy to go back to the Grocer) with some warm Red Cabbage slaw on the side.
Enjoy Yall...
The Redneck Gourmet
Strange New World
Snow In Eastern Tennessee...
Hey...who painted the ground white?
Pizza may be breaking out in the Kitchen tonight...
Hey...who painted the ground white?
Pizza may be breaking out in the Kitchen tonight...
Am I A Grocery Store Junkie?
A Shamefully Short Distance Away From Wearing Sans-A-Belt Pants and Owning My Own Flea Market Booth...
The good news is that we've been eating pretty good here this week at the Turbo Pup Compound on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.
The bad news is the freezer compartment on one of my two refrigerators and my Deep Freezer are all FULL of giant portions of meat (and some corn on the cob purchased for $0.10 per ear last fall)....I can't stuff much of anything else in there until we do some more eating.
This week the local Kroger had a "One Day Sale" featuring Snow Crab Clusters for $3.99 a pound and giant chunks of of Beef Tenderloin for $6.99/lb.
I found out about the deals on Sunday and I hate to admit that I spent the week like a kid waiting on Christmas or the Easter Bunny and ended up going to two different nearby Kroger stores in order to spend $100 on crustaceans and prime beef in a single day.
Then last night I started fooling around looking for a creative way to do "surf and turf."
It had to be something that could successfully follow Wednesday's "Chicken Fried Cube Steak" extravaganza I put on and Thursday's "Unofficial Official German Night" where I did Chicken Schnitzel and a funky German beef dish called "Rouladens" that was basically thin butterflied portions of tenderloin stuffed with bacon, mustard, dill pickles, and sauteed onions.
(Don't freak out, it was dang fine food and I know my German fare because I've spent a good deal of time studying Bavarian cuisine.)
So any way, last night I ended up just steaming some crab clusters after soaking them in some water with lemon juice to take the stink off, and then I kicked out some Mongolian Beef served over rice and based on a recipe I found which claimed to mimic the dish served at P.F. Chang's Restaurant.
I intend to write everything up and publish it here on the blogs later this weekend, but right now I'm too tired from sitting up most of the evening beating on a couple of technical problems I'm having on my pneumatic air valve rebuilds.
And don't even get me started about "climategate" and the Obamamaniacs' "Jobs Summit" BS bouncing around in the news.
In the mean time...feel free to entertain yourselves...
The good news is that we've been eating pretty good here this week at the Turbo Pup Compound on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.
The bad news is the freezer compartment on one of my two refrigerators and my Deep Freezer are all FULL of giant portions of meat (and some corn on the cob purchased for $0.10 per ear last fall)....I can't stuff much of anything else in there until we do some more eating.
This week the local Kroger had a "One Day Sale" featuring Snow Crab Clusters for $3.99 a pound and giant chunks of of Beef Tenderloin for $6.99/lb.
I found out about the deals on Sunday and I hate to admit that I spent the week like a kid waiting on Christmas or the Easter Bunny and ended up going to two different nearby Kroger stores in order to spend $100 on crustaceans and prime beef in a single day.
Then last night I started fooling around looking for a creative way to do "surf and turf."
It had to be something that could successfully follow Wednesday's "Chicken Fried Cube Steak" extravaganza I put on and Thursday's "Unofficial Official German Night" where I did Chicken Schnitzel and a funky German beef dish called "Rouladens" that was basically thin butterflied portions of tenderloin stuffed with bacon, mustard, dill pickles, and sauteed onions.
(Don't freak out, it was dang fine food and I know my German fare because I've spent a good deal of time studying Bavarian cuisine.)
So any way, last night I ended up just steaming some crab clusters after soaking them in some water with lemon juice to take the stink off, and then I kicked out some Mongolian Beef served over rice and based on a recipe I found which claimed to mimic the dish served at P.F. Chang's Restaurant.
I intend to write everything up and publish it here on the blogs later this weekend, but right now I'm too tired from sitting up most of the evening beating on a couple of technical problems I'm having on my pneumatic air valve rebuilds.
And don't even get me started about "climategate" and the Obamamaniacs' "Jobs Summit" BS bouncing around in the news.
In the mean time...feel free to entertain yourselves...
Friday, December 04, 2009
Best Intentions
If It Was Easy...Everyone Could Do It...
So if you couldn't tell from my earlier posting, I'm stumped in two basic areas of my current professional endeavors.
I've got a PLC that doesn't seem to want to get along with my temperature probes (or any other analogue input for that matter), and now I have a box load of fancy pneumatic valves that but for a $0.50 part moving out of the way could already be rebuilt and back in a box on a Big Brown Truck on Monday Afternoon.
As I like to say..."WHO'S IDEAS WAS ALL OF THIS ANY WAY?"
So if you couldn't tell from my earlier posting, I'm stumped in two basic areas of my current professional endeavors.
I've got a PLC that doesn't seem to want to get along with my temperature probes (or any other analogue input for that matter), and now I have a box load of fancy pneumatic valves that but for a $0.50 part moving out of the way could already be rebuilt and back in a box on a Big Brown Truck on Monday Afternoon.
As I like to say..."WHO'S IDEAS WAS ALL OF THIS ANY WAY?"
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
(DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH...IT'S STILLL COMING OUT...) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
In case you weren't paying attention...you might wonder if I said:
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
OK, here's a translation...for the hearing impaired...
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
And here it is in authentic Chinese...
Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
here it is in Mandarin (a variation on Chinese?):
EYouuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
and here it is from your lawyer:
Sueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
here it is in South American (do they have an "official language?")
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
and here it is in lower Alabama...ian...
yeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEee...haaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
and all of that said, that will be ALL...
FOR NOW...
In case you weren't paying attention...you might wonder if I said:
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
OK, here's a translation...for the hearing impaired...
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
And here it is in authentic Chinese...
Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
here it is in Mandarin (a variation on Chinese?):
EYouuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
and here it is from your lawyer:
Sueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
here it is in South American (do they have an "official language?")
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
and here it is in lower Alabama...ian...
yeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEee...haaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
and all of that said, that will be ALL...
FOR NOW...
Thursday, December 03, 2009
I'm Off To See The Wizard Buy More Tools
Things Women Should Know...
I'm taking a risk here this morning making this confession, but in the spirit of the Holiday Season I think that I will tender the following insight on male thinking to the fairer sex--for those that haven't already figured it out some time ago (like the week after your Honeymoon.)
A man...rather...a real MAN...will use any given project at any given time as an excuse to purchase a tool.
Maybe several.
And given only the limitations of things like income and credit limits will the size and complexity of the tool be thereby specified and determined (specifications and determinations being beyond the scope of this discussion this morning.)
For instance, say that you are sitting happily in your new house and everyone decided that your gutters and roof need cleaning?
Why settle for this...
when you might possibly talk your wife or girlfriend (or significant other) into letting you buy this...
Or say that you want to rotate the tires on your mini-van once in a while to save $31.97 every six months?
Everyone knows your task could be accomplished with one of these and a couple of jack stands....
But wouldn't this look really cool in your garage or carport (and of course you'd have to buy the ATV's/jet skis and the vintage Camaro just to complete the set...it is...after all...a SET...Honey...
That's exactly the position I find myself in this morning...deciding between the minimal tools I "really need", things I "have to have", and the stuff that would really be cool and if I'm doing it why not go all the way because...
"I'll just end up buying one of "ABC" at some time in the future..."
That said it's time to get moving in the shop and finish the day's "tool purchase list," then head over toMecca Northern Tool.
(I get all a tingle just thinking about it...)
I'm taking a risk here this morning making this confession, but in the spirit of the Holiday Season I think that I will tender the following insight on male thinking to the fairer sex--for those that haven't already figured it out some time ago (like the week after your Honeymoon.)
A man...rather...a real MAN...will use any given project at any given time as an excuse to purchase a tool.
Maybe several.
And given only the limitations of things like income and credit limits will the size and complexity of the tool be thereby specified and determined (specifications and determinations being beyond the scope of this discussion this morning.)
For instance, say that you are sitting happily in your new house and everyone decided that your gutters and roof need cleaning?
Why settle for this...
when you might possibly talk your wife or girlfriend (or significant other) into letting you buy this...
Or say that you want to rotate the tires on your mini-van once in a while to save $31.97 every six months?
Everyone knows your task could be accomplished with one of these and a couple of jack stands....
But wouldn't this look really cool in your garage or carport (and of course you'd have to buy the ATV's/jet skis and the vintage Camaro just to complete the set...it is...after all...a SET...Honey...
That's exactly the position I find myself in this morning...deciding between the minimal tools I "really need", things I "have to have", and the stuff that would really be cool and if I'm doing it why not go all the way because...
"I'll just end up buying one of "ABC" at some time in the future..."
That said it's time to get moving in the shop and finish the day's "tool purchase list," then head over to
(I get all a tingle just thinking about it...)
Weird Internet Stuff
Things Most People Never See...
I have to admit that I've become more than just an Amateur E-Bay Junkie over the past half decade.
Looking around my office I have to ask you who else you know other than me that in the past few years has bought dozens of early original editions of books published before 1900 (Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn, a Bible and a Websters Dictionary among other titles), a real rosewood Chinese Abacus, a Remington "noiseless" portable typewriter built in the late 1930's in excellent condition, numerous vintage engineering text and reference books, and three antique radios all built before WWII (two of which work and one built in the 1920's that's battery powered and will work when I get through with repairing it)?
Sometimes packages show up at my door and I can't even remember what exactly it is that I ordered or won at auction this week.
That said, here's the header from a yahoo E-mail I received this morning from China...about some oscilloscope Probes I ordered (electronic test equipment) on E-Bay.
发件人： Virgil Rogers
发送时间： 2009-12-03 15:47:55
收件人： njlasz
主题： Got the probes
I received your shipment...and gave you a five star rating on E-bay.
Thanks for the gift also.
The guy sent me a little hand woven bangle that sort of looked like the tassel kids wear on their Mortar boards during High School or College Graduation ceremonies.
I've been up most of the night fooling with the PLC project and inspecting another shipment of fancy pneumatic valves I have to rebuild over the next week...so it's time to hit the bed for a while and dream about a trip I have planned to Home Depot, Northern Tool, and Ace Hardware later this morning.
I don't know for sure if it's good thing or a bad thing when you reach the point in life as a man where going to the hardware store is more exciting than going to Hooters to eat wings and drink beer and ogle bawdy lasses with their extremities hanging out of their clothing, but right now I'm lusting after a digital Micrometer, a portable parts wash cabinet, and an adjustable set of snap ring pliers and I don't see much of anything or anyone being capable of deflecting me on my journey.
Regards Y'all
I have to admit that I've become more than just an Amateur E-Bay Junkie over the past half decade.
Looking around my office I have to ask you who else you know other than me that in the past few years has bought dozens of early original editions of books published before 1900 (Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn, a Bible and a Websters Dictionary among other titles), a real rosewood Chinese Abacus, a Remington "noiseless" portable typewriter built in the late 1930's in excellent condition, numerous vintage engineering text and reference books, and three antique radios all built before WWII (two of which work and one built in the 1920's that's battery powered and will work when I get through with repairing it)?
Sometimes packages show up at my door and I can't even remember what exactly it is that I ordered or won at auction this week.
That said, here's the header from a yahoo E-mail I received this morning from China...about some oscilloscope Probes I ordered (electronic test equipment) on E-Bay.
发件人： Virgil Rogers
发送时间： 2009-12-03 15:47:55
收件人： njlasz
主题： Got the probes
I received your shipment...and gave you a five star rating on E-bay.
Thanks for the gift also.
The guy sent me a little hand woven bangle that sort of looked like the tassel kids wear on their Mortar boards during High School or College Graduation ceremonies.
I've been up most of the night fooling with the PLC project and inspecting another shipment of fancy pneumatic valves I have to rebuild over the next week...so it's time to hit the bed for a while and dream about a trip I have planned to Home Depot, Northern Tool, and Ace Hardware later this morning.
I don't know for sure if it's good thing or a bad thing when you reach the point in life as a man where going to the hardware store is more exciting than going to Hooters to eat wings and drink beer and ogle bawdy lasses with their extremities hanging out of their clothing, but right now I'm lusting after a digital Micrometer, a portable parts wash cabinet, and an adjustable set of snap ring pliers and I don't see much of anything or anyone being capable of deflecting me on my journey.
Regards Y'all
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
There's An Idiot In Every Crowd
I Just Try To Not Let It Be Me Each Day...
One of the coolest things about living on St. Simons Island was the pet friendly nature of the people and businesses there.
It was almost like they issued dogs when you moved there because almost everyone had at least one four legged family member and even I--having been a cat man for most of my life--ended up getting little Missy the Turbo Pup in February of 2007.
She went EVERYWHERE with us. The beach. The Condo pool. She rode in a basket on Pat's bike or jogged on her leash along side of my bike on the abundant bike trails interlaced around the island.
And perhaps the best thing was that when we got hungry and wanted to eat or just got tired and wanted a drink most of the restaurants had outdoor seating areas and everyone ended up knowing The Turbo Pup and enjoyed watching her grow from 2 lbs to her present 11 pound adult weight.
She was practically a fixture on the patio of the Sea Palms Country Club which was next door to our Condo because we could walk or ride over there in about three minutes and they had a good happy hour and specials food menu.
In fact if I went over to buy a newspaper at noon and didn't bring the Turbo Pup people came outside and inquired about her...they didn't care about me they just wanted to pet my dog.
So any way, things aren't so pet friendly here in Knoxtown, but the good news is that the state passed a law this legislative session allowing local Cities and Municipalities that regulate restaurants to decide if the outdoor patio seating areas will be pet friendly.
A story in today's Knoxville News Sentinel gives me hope of having Missy back in our dining out dinner plans by next spring/summer, but part of the story also makes my head spin because of the position of the mandatory "activist."
I think that there must be a rule or law somewhere that says that there has to be an "activist" present any time more than two people get together and try to do anything (except possibly drink beer...but even then you risk someone from MADD showing up and ruining every ones buzz.)
And you can always spot the "activist" in any proceeding because 9 times out of 10 they're the bleeding heart, emotionally bruised, bleary eyed (and possibly sniveling, booger eating, tree hugging, tye dyed, patchouli stinking) person siting in the back row intent that nothing gets done because it will adversely affect their "cause."
So at this week's meeting of the Knoxville City Council they were discussing the new "Pooches on the patio" ordinance and right on que the lady from the "Mayor's Council on Disability Issues" had to jump out of her chair (or wheelchair I suppose) and "[express] concerns that pet dogs might interfere with service animals used by the disabled..."
All I have to say is..."Give me a %$#@ing break here Lady."
I've lived in West Knoxville for almost two years and I'll swear on a stack of bibles that only once has anyone come into a restaurant with a "service animal" be it a dog or a Monkey or a Possum or a Thompson's Gazelle.
And if they did I would definitely keep our little Turbo Pup away from them because all larger dogs want to generally do is step on her or try to hump her.
You see people, it's like this with all of these "activists"...they want to spread the suffering and misery around.
A few years ago it was smoking in restaurants, today it's "service animals" being distracted in restaurants, coming soon it's 500 pound people oozing over the armrest into your space on an airliner and bitching about having to pay for two seats...
If we left everything up to the "Activists"???
No one but the "handicapped" and "disabled" and "morbidly obese" would go anywhere and do anything.
Instead of the first four parking spaces ON EVERY SINGLE ROW AT HOME DEPOT being handicapped, the whole damn parking lot at Home Depot would be handicapped only and I'd have to ride home on the bus with a load of duct tape, plywood and two by fours.
Am I wrong here, or am I just being my normal insensitive self?
Seriously, I think that if everyone within a five mile radius of our local Home Depot that really needed and deserved a handicapped parking Sticker (which would exclude all of the people that use their Grandma's permits to get good parking spaces at the mall while Christmas shopping) came out today at Noon and bought a load of lumber we couldn't legitimately fill up all of the handicapped parking spaces, yet I'm stuck parking 75 feet from the store and walking past empty spaces because some "activist" got the government to say that for every so many thousand square feet of retail space you have to have a given number of spaces designated for "handicapped parking."
Don't get me wrong here because I believe that people deserve a break and some accommodation for "disabilities," but still the trend to shove every single whim and desire of these hysterical "activists" (and I mean hysterical in a crazy sense not a ha ha funny sense) down everyone's throats has gotten just a little out of control in today's politically correct culture, society, and political climate.
I say the government should get the heck out of the way and let the RESTAURANT OWNERS...private citizens decide if people can bring their dogs around their establishments and still maintain sanitary food service conditions.
If you operate a curbside Cafe and have a large clientele of people with service animals and some guy's Pet Baboon's Purple Snout and Rosy Red protruding Anus makes the "Seeing Eye" Dogs whimper and disturbs peoples enjoyment of their Crepes and Lattes, then let THE OWNER post a sign saying "No Apes with red snouts and protruding genitalia Allowed"
Why should it be up to the government to decide? If the owner lets enough crazy crap go on he'll either develope a share of the market that enjoys the same or can tolerate it else he'll get no business at all. Instead of the government, let the owner and the customers decide.
And you know what else bugs the crap out of me?
People can CHOOSE to not go into an establishment in the first place if there are conditions which they find objectionable.
If you don't want to smell like smoke when you come home from dinner and drinks?
Don't go where people exercise their right to smoke (government's pretty well run over that right already in most states.)
You don't want to see naked women?
Stay out of the Strip Clubs and the ladies dressing room at Belks.
Don't want to see pot bellyed men walking around in tiny little Speedo bathing suits?
Stay off the beach in France or Jamaica.
Don't want to be over run by pimple faced kids blabbing or texting on cell phones?
Stay out of the school teacher business and out of the Mall and Movie Theaters on Saturday Night.
Seems pretty simple to me, how about you?
We don't need a LAW, we just all need to exercise some common sense.
Why should all of the wimps rely on government to pass laws to make every restaurant patio a "pet free zone" when they never set foot in 99% of the restaurants in any given area?
These same people that want the government telling business owners where their clients can park and where and when and if their clients can smoke are the exact same people that would never stick a gun in your ribs and demand money for their health care or food...but they have no problem electing representatives that will pass laws and come to my house and use the threat of DEADLY FORCE to take money from me and give it to them for the exact same purposes.
Right?
All I know is that it's a screwed up world we live in Ladies and Gentlemen, and I have to stop writing now and stop thinking about crap like this before my head explodes.
Y'all have a lovely afternoon...
One of the coolest things about living on St. Simons Island was the pet friendly nature of the people and businesses there.
It was almost like they issued dogs when you moved there because almost everyone had at least one four legged family member and even I--having been a cat man for most of my life--ended up getting little Missy the Turbo Pup in February of 2007.
She went EVERYWHERE with us. The beach. The Condo pool. She rode in a basket on Pat's bike or jogged on her leash along side of my bike on the abundant bike trails interlaced around the island.
And perhaps the best thing was that when we got hungry and wanted to eat or just got tired and wanted a drink most of the restaurants had outdoor seating areas and everyone ended up knowing The Turbo Pup and enjoyed watching her grow from 2 lbs to her present 11 pound adult weight.
She was practically a fixture on the patio of the Sea Palms Country Club which was next door to our Condo because we could walk or ride over there in about three minutes and they had a good happy hour and specials food menu.
In fact if I went over to buy a newspaper at noon and didn't bring the Turbo Pup people came outside and inquired about her...they didn't care about me they just wanted to pet my dog.
So any way, things aren't so pet friendly here in Knoxtown, but the good news is that the state passed a law this legislative session allowing local Cities and Municipalities that regulate restaurants to decide if the outdoor patio seating areas will be pet friendly.
A story in today's Knoxville News Sentinel gives me hope of having Missy back in our dining out dinner plans by next spring/summer, but part of the story also makes my head spin because of the position of the mandatory "activist."
I think that there must be a rule or law somewhere that says that there has to be an "activist" present any time more than two people get together and try to do anything (except possibly drink beer...but even then you risk someone from MADD showing up and ruining every ones buzz.)
And you can always spot the "activist" in any proceeding because 9 times out of 10 they're the bleeding heart, emotionally bruised, bleary eyed (and possibly sniveling, booger eating, tree hugging, tye dyed, patchouli stinking) person siting in the back row intent that nothing gets done because it will adversely affect their "cause."
So at this week's meeting of the Knoxville City Council they were discussing the new "Pooches on the patio" ordinance and right on que the lady from the "Mayor's Council on Disability Issues" had to jump out of her chair (or wheelchair I suppose) and "[express] concerns that pet dogs might interfere with service animals used by the disabled..."
All I have to say is..."Give me a %$#@ing break here Lady."
I've lived in West Knoxville for almost two years and I'll swear on a stack of bibles that only once has anyone come into a restaurant with a "service animal" be it a dog or a Monkey or a Possum or a Thompson's Gazelle.
And if they did I would definitely keep our little Turbo Pup away from them because all larger dogs want to generally do is step on her or try to hump her.
You see people, it's like this with all of these "activists"...they want to spread the suffering and misery around.
A few years ago it was smoking in restaurants, today it's "service animals" being distracted in restaurants, coming soon it's 500 pound people oozing over the armrest into your space on an airliner and bitching about having to pay for two seats...
If we left everything up to the "Activists"???
No one but the "handicapped" and "disabled" and "morbidly obese" would go anywhere and do anything.
Instead of the first four parking spaces ON EVERY SINGLE ROW AT HOME DEPOT being handicapped, the whole damn parking lot at Home Depot would be handicapped only and I'd have to ride home on the bus with a load of duct tape, plywood and two by fours.
Am I wrong here, or am I just being my normal insensitive self?
Seriously, I think that if everyone within a five mile radius of our local Home Depot that really needed and deserved a handicapped parking Sticker (which would exclude all of the people that use their Grandma's permits to get good parking spaces at the mall while Christmas shopping) came out today at Noon and bought a load of lumber we couldn't legitimately fill up all of the handicapped parking spaces, yet I'm stuck parking 75 feet from the store and walking past empty spaces because some "activist" got the government to say that for every so many thousand square feet of retail space you have to have a given number of spaces designated for "handicapped parking."
Don't get me wrong here because I believe that people deserve a break and some accommodation for "disabilities," but still the trend to shove every single whim and desire of these hysterical "activists" (and I mean hysterical in a crazy sense not a ha ha funny sense) down everyone's throats has gotten just a little out of control in today's politically correct culture, society, and political climate.
I say the government should get the heck out of the way and let the RESTAURANT OWNERS...private citizens decide if people can bring their dogs around their establishments and still maintain sanitary food service conditions.
If you operate a curbside Cafe and have a large clientele of people with service animals and some guy's Pet Baboon's Purple Snout and Rosy Red protruding Anus makes the "Seeing Eye" Dogs whimper and disturbs peoples enjoyment of their Crepes and Lattes, then let THE OWNER post a sign saying "No Apes with red snouts and protruding genitalia Allowed"
Why should it be up to the government to decide? If the owner lets enough crazy crap go on he'll either develope a share of the market that enjoys the same or can tolerate it else he'll get no business at all. Instead of the government, let the owner and the customers decide.
And you know what else bugs the crap out of me?
People can CHOOSE to not go into an establishment in the first place if there are conditions which they find objectionable.
If you don't want to smell like smoke when you come home from dinner and drinks?
Don't go where people exercise their right to smoke (government's pretty well run over that right already in most states.)
You don't want to see naked women?
Stay out of the Strip Clubs and the ladies dressing room at Belks.
Don't want to see pot bellyed men walking around in tiny little Speedo bathing suits?
Stay off the beach in France or Jamaica.
Don't want to be over run by pimple faced kids blabbing or texting on cell phones?
Stay out of the school teacher business and out of the Mall and Movie Theaters on Saturday Night.
Seems pretty simple to me, how about you?
We don't need a LAW, we just all need to exercise some common sense.
Why should all of the wimps rely on government to pass laws to make every restaurant patio a "pet free zone" when they never set foot in 99% of the restaurants in any given area?
These same people that want the government telling business owners where their clients can park and where and when and if their clients can smoke are the exact same people that would never stick a gun in your ribs and demand money for their health care or food...but they have no problem electing representatives that will pass laws and come to my house and use the threat of DEADLY FORCE to take money from me and give it to them for the exact same purposes.
Right?
All I know is that it's a screwed up world we live in Ladies and Gentlemen, and I have to stop writing now and stop thinking about crap like this before my head explodes.
Y'all have a lovely afternoon...
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Was It Something I Said?
Or Didn't Say Yet?
OK ...could I ask everyone to get off of Tiger Woods Ass?
So the King of Golf is reaping what he has sewn over the past few years...wild oats and whatever...and his lovely fashion model/virgin/bride come mother of his children apparently has a temper, BUT...
In my opinion he doesn't owe you or me or anyone else on the planet ANYTHING except to tell you/us to shut the hell up, butt the hell out, and get the hell out of his face, because the entire "incident" occurred on private property...
HIS property.
And the Florida State Patrol and Fox News can go to hell also.
I know that there are people out there that read this blog and complain that I'm "Sexist" and "Racist" and "whatever-ist" but I'm here to defend Mr. Woods to the end as a Gentleman and a Class Act without "acting"...the man couldn't get through 33years without stumbling if he was/is anything other than what his father raised him to be--A Great American.
Speaking from the viewpoint of having learned some really hard lessons in life, I can personally testify that a Women...good ones and bad ones and everything in between...can and will make a man do some crazy crap and I say that Tiger has only to own up to the circumstances and learn a lesson if there is one burried in there.
Everybody else just needs to keep on sweeping around their own front doors and let the man be, in my considered Redneck opinion.
Then again I like to wear black T-shirts and I listen to Pink Floyd and Bob Marley and I think George Wallace might have been a good president if some Liberal Asshole hadn't shot him in a shopping center parking lot in Maryland...
(yeah...GEORGE WALLACE...that will make everyone's head spin...)
OK ...could I ask everyone to get off of Tiger Woods Ass?
So the King of Golf is reaping what he has sewn over the past few years...wild oats and whatever...and his lovely fashion model/virgin/bride come mother of his children apparently has a temper, BUT...
In my opinion he doesn't owe you or me or anyone else on the planet ANYTHING except to tell you/us to shut the hell up, butt the hell out, and get the hell out of his face, because the entire "incident" occurred on private property...
HIS property.
And the Florida State Patrol and Fox News can go to hell also.
I know that there are people out there that read this blog and complain that I'm "Sexist" and "Racist" and "whatever-ist" but I'm here to defend Mr. Woods to the end as a Gentleman and a Class Act without "acting"...the man couldn't get through 33years without stumbling if he was/is anything other than what his father raised him to be--A Great American.
Speaking from the viewpoint of having learned some really hard lessons in life, I can personally testify that a Women...good ones and bad ones and everything in between...can and will make a man do some crazy crap and I say that Tiger has only to own up to the circumstances and learn a lesson if there is one burried in there.
Everybody else just needs to keep on sweeping around their own front doors and let the man be, in my considered Redneck opinion.
Then again I like to wear black T-shirts and I listen to Pink Floyd and Bob Marley and I think George Wallace might have been a good president if some Liberal Asshole hadn't shot him in a shopping center parking lot in Maryland...
(yeah...GEORGE WALLACE...that will make everyone's head spin...)
Monday, November 30, 2009
Busy Weak Week Ahead
Who's Idea Was This Anyway?
OK...it's Monday after Thanksgiving...
and I hate to be the bearer of bad news but here goes...
Everybody...
yes YOU...
you there reading my rantings....
YOU...hurry up and GET BACK TO WORK so I can get something done today.
You see, I spent most all of last Wednesday afternoon trying to find people in "Tech Support" on the telephone and only the Horner PLC folks were on hand to answer my questions, so as a result I'm a half a week behind on my personal self-imposed schedule.
And I've learned through the grape vine that I have an additional purchase order coming in the door this week on a rush schedule and I'm in the unfortunate position of having to take their money and actually produce something in the process.
So EVERYBODY GET TO WORK!!!
(hey...a vigorous schedule will at least help dump the five pounds worth of turkey weight we all put on while sitting around watching football...)
That will be all...for now...
OK...it's Monday after Thanksgiving...
and I hate to be the bearer of bad news but here goes...
Everybody...
yes YOU...
you there reading my rantings....
YOU...hurry up and GET BACK TO WORK so I can get something done today.
You see, I spent most all of last Wednesday afternoon trying to find people in "Tech Support" on the telephone and only the Horner PLC folks were on hand to answer my questions, so as a result I'm a half a week behind on my personal self-imposed schedule.
And I've learned through the grape vine that I have an additional purchase order coming in the door this week on a rush schedule and I'm in the unfortunate position of having to take their money and actually produce something in the process.
So EVERYBODY GET TO WORK!!!
(hey...a vigorous schedule will at least help dump the five pounds worth of turkey weight we all put on while sitting around watching football...)
That will be all...for now...
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Oh Well...
Georgia 30...GT 24
The good news is that having followed this team for 32 years, at the end of the day my heart's not broken by a late season loss to our hated cross state rivals.
And it was fun while it lasted, but in typical Georgia Tech fashion the 2009 edition of their football team found a way to sink back from a position of being considered pretty good to being just slightly above average.
Unlike some sports addicts, I know I'm the same man on Monday morning win or lose...something it took a few years to understand in my youth.
The good news is that having followed this team for 32 years, at the end of the day my heart's not broken by a late season loss to our hated cross state rivals.
And it was fun while it lasted, but in typical Georgia Tech fashion the 2009 edition of their football team found a way to sink back from a position of being considered pretty good to being just slightly above average.
Unlike some sports addicts, I know I'm the same man on Monday morning win or lose...something it took a few years to understand in my youth.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Georgia Tech Versus Georgia
8:00 PM On National TV (ESPN/ABC)
You better be there if you want to watch good football...
You better be there if you want to watch good football...
Words From Paul "The Bear" Bryant
Useful Adages For A Football Saturday...
"But I learned that the lessons my mama taught me were always right.
It don't cost nuthin' to be nice.
It don't cost nuthin' to do the right thing most of the time,
and it costs a lot to lose your good name by breakin ' your word to someone."
"But I learned that the lessons my mama taught me were always right.
It don't cost nuthin' to be nice.
It don't cost nuthin' to do the right thing most of the time,
and it costs a lot to lose your good name by breakin ' your word to someone."
Friday, November 27, 2009
Organizing My Cooking?
OK...I'll Settle For Writing It All Down Before I Forget...
So it turns out that I've spent most of the past couple of years pretty much ignoring my other blog...my Cooking Blog...called The Redneck Gourmet .
Looking at the stats it turns out that I published about 95 recipes from 2004 to 2006, and since then I'vebasically sat around doing nothing been too apathetic to take the time to write much of anything down on the computer because I hate just publishing ingredient lists.
My original goals and quality standards involved trying to actually describe how to cook the dish in detail, and even possibly inject some humor into the process...but it's all been beyond my mental limits and personal attitude and stamina for various reasons beyond the scope of this discussion.
Thinking back, it seems that in recent years I've been trying to "shake things up" while cooking during the holidays instead of just having the same old...same old...bird and beans and stuffing all the time.
I have to admit that sometimes my efforts have been received with a bit of trepidation or even indifference, but regardless I continue to move forward in my normal headstrong fashion...and thus...
I cooked a couple of quick appetizers yesterday which I don't think I've written up previously (and I'm too lazy to look at my archives) so I thought I'd do a double posting here this morning on this blog and over at The Redneck Gourmet.
That said, here's my method of how to cook "Oysters Rockefeller" and "Prosciutto Wrapped Scallops"
Oysters Rockefeller (by the dozen)
12 fresh oysters
1 tbsp lemon juice
3 tbsp butter
6 tbsp minced fresh spinach (or a part of a pack of frozen chopped spinach...WELL drained)
2 tbsp finely diced green onions
2 tbsp diced stemmed Italian flat leaf Parsley
breadcrumbs (as much as you need...hang on)
a few dashes of your favorite hot sauce (I use Crystal)
1/3 tsp Annisette Liquor (or Herbsaint or Pernod)
1/4 tsp salt
Box of Rock salt
1/4 cup of grated Parmesan cheese
Lemon wedges
OK...here we go...first crank on the oven to 350 degrees
Meanwhile shuck your Oysters. Cut those suckers out of their shell making sure to keep the sand and crumbs out of things and set aside the better looking deeper halves of each shell to use later in the process.
Redneck Aside:
Let me remind you that real men shuck oysters...but if you aren't a real man or you're female and don't have a real man handy you can buy them (the Oysters) already shucked but then you have to also get those little sanitized store bought shells if you absolutely have to.
I, personally, having grown up in Lower Alabama in a place less than two hours from the best oysters in the world in Apalachicola Bay Florida, refuse to buy anything but fresh oysters.
(I guess that means I'm saying not to cook this recipe unless you can find fresh oysters in the shell, but I digress...)
Meanwhile...back to the preparation of our Oysters...
In a heavy skillet, melt your butter (and add some bacon grease if you have it handy), then add the spinach, onion, parsley, Anisette, hot sauce, and salt.
Now sprinkle a few tablespoons of bread crumbs on top and start stirring as things thicken. As the juice cooks out of the spinach , pay attention and if you need more bread crumbs don't just stand there...put them in the pot and keep stirring...don't look at me...
After about 10 minutes consider turning the heat off and pulling the skillet off the hot eye and then let it cool down (you can even make this stuff as much as a day early and refrigerate until you need it, but let it come up to room temperature or it will effect your cooking time.)
After you've shucked your oysters and picked out and scrubbed off your serving shells, add about a 1/2" deep layer of rock salt to a oven proof platter or cookie sheet and lay out your shells evenly spaced over the surface of the salt. The salt helps evenly transfer heat during the cooking process and also keeps the shells stable while you're filling them.
Now add one oyster back to each shell. It doesn't matter that they go back into their original shells but it helps if you put your bigger oysters in the larger shells and reserve the smaller ones for the little guys.
Place equal amounts of the spinach mixture over each oyster and spread to the rim of the shell if possible.
Slide the whole concoction into the oven and let things go for about ten minutes, then pull them back out and distribute your grated cheese on top and lightly sprinkle with more bread crumbs, return to the oven and kick on the Broiler to 500.
Let things go another five minutes or so, then pull out and serve.
Prosciutto-Wrapped Scallops
The Ingredients:
12 medium sea scallops
12 slices of thinly sliced Prosciutto Ham
1/4 cup chopped sun dried tomatoes
2 tbsp chopped fresh basil leaves
2 tbsp sliced black olives
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
sea salt
lemon juice
1/4 stick of butter
fresh ground black pepper
2 cups baby salad greens
First the credits. This recipe is based on one published by Food Network's Cooking Diva Giada de Laurentiis, except I've made some procedural and serving changes to accommodate a platter presentation with more readily available ingredients.
And here's how I put things together...
Heat the oven to 350 degrees F, and toss a large heavy skillet on the stove top on medium heat and put in your butter to melt.
Rinse your scallops and remove the tough "foot" or "tendon" on the side if it's still present. Put your cleaned scallops in a shallow dish and pour in a little lemon juice and let them swim around while you make the other preparations.
Toss your tomatoes, olives, and basil into a food processor and chop things finely as you slowly pour in your olive oil. Don't add all of it at once and stop occasionally to scrape down the sides of the processor bowl. Keep adding oil and processing to you have a thin, chunky paste...not a slurry.
Now back to your scallops. Are they still swimming in lemon juice?
Well dump out the juice, and move them into your melted butter and lightly sear them on the two flat sides. Be careful not to fully cook them now, they'll have plenty of time in the oven later to get to a medium or medium well temperature.
Turn off your heat and take them out and lightly sprinkle them on all sides with salt and pepper.
Now lay out two strips of Prosciutto and fold them in half long ways, spoon a little of your tomato/olive mixture out in the middle of each slice and top each with a scallop.
Stay with me here now, we're on the home stretch...grab some toothpicks, fold the prosciutto up around the scallops and pin the two flaps together with the toothpick vertically.
Do the same procedure with each scallop and place them in a buttered pyrex dish and pop them into the oven for about 15 minutes.
Now go pour yourself a mixed drink or a glass of wine, but stop back by and check their progress at the ten minute point. If you like your scallops well done just be careful to not dry out the prosciutto too much.
Spread your salad greens out on a large plate or platter and arrange your hot wrapped scallops around the greens, garnish with some lemon wedges, and try to not get trampled when you bring them out of the kitchen to your guests.
Regards Y'all
The Redneck Gourmet
So it turns out that I've spent most of the past couple of years pretty much ignoring my other blog...my Cooking Blog...called The Redneck Gourmet .
Looking at the stats it turns out that I published about 95 recipes from 2004 to 2006, and since then I've
My original goals and quality standards involved trying to actually describe how to cook the dish in detail, and even possibly inject some humor into the process...but it's all been beyond my mental limits and personal attitude and stamina for various reasons beyond the scope of this discussion.
Thinking back, it seems that in recent years I've been trying to "shake things up" while cooking during the holidays instead of just having the same old...same old...bird and beans and stuffing all the time.
I have to admit that sometimes my efforts have been received with a bit of trepidation or even indifference, but regardless I continue to move forward in my normal headstrong fashion...and thus...
I cooked a couple of quick appetizers yesterday which I don't think I've written up previously (and I'm too lazy to look at my archives) so I thought I'd do a double posting here this morning on this blog and over at The Redneck Gourmet.
That said, here's my method of how to cook "Oysters Rockefeller" and "Prosciutto Wrapped Scallops"
Oysters Rockefeller (by the dozen)
12 fresh oysters
1 tbsp lemon juice
3 tbsp butter
6 tbsp minced fresh spinach (or a part of a pack of frozen chopped spinach...WELL drained)
2 tbsp finely diced green onions
2 tbsp diced stemmed Italian flat leaf Parsley
breadcrumbs (as much as you need...hang on)
a few dashes of your favorite hot sauce (I use Crystal)
1/3 tsp Annisette Liquor (or Herbsaint or Pernod)
1/4 tsp salt
Box of Rock salt
1/4 cup of grated Parmesan cheese
Lemon wedges
OK...here we go...first crank on the oven to 350 degrees
Meanwhile shuck your Oysters. Cut those suckers out of their shell making sure to keep the sand and crumbs out of things and set aside the better looking deeper halves of each shell to use later in the process.
Redneck Aside:
Let me remind you that real men shuck oysters...but if you aren't a real man or you're female and don't have a real man handy you can buy them (the Oysters) already shucked but then you have to also get those little sanitized store bought shells if you absolutely have to.
I, personally, having grown up in Lower Alabama in a place less than two hours from the best oysters in the world in Apalachicola Bay Florida, refuse to buy anything but fresh oysters.
(I guess that means I'm saying not to cook this recipe unless you can find fresh oysters in the shell, but I digress...)
Meanwhile...back to the preparation of our Oysters...
In a heavy skillet, melt your butter (and add some bacon grease if you have it handy), then add the spinach, onion, parsley, Anisette, hot sauce, and salt.
Now sprinkle a few tablespoons of bread crumbs on top and start stirring as things thicken. As the juice cooks out of the spinach , pay attention and if you need more bread crumbs don't just stand there...put them in the pot and keep stirring...don't look at me...
After about 10 minutes consider turning the heat off and pulling the skillet off the hot eye and then let it cool down (you can even make this stuff as much as a day early and refrigerate until you need it, but let it come up to room temperature or it will effect your cooking time.)
After you've shucked your oysters and picked out and scrubbed off your serving shells, add about a 1/2" deep layer of rock salt to a oven proof platter or cookie sheet and lay out your shells evenly spaced over the surface of the salt. The salt helps evenly transfer heat during the cooking process and also keeps the shells stable while you're filling them.
Now add one oyster back to each shell. It doesn't matter that they go back into their original shells but it helps if you put your bigger oysters in the larger shells and reserve the smaller ones for the little guys.
Place equal amounts of the spinach mixture over each oyster and spread to the rim of the shell if possible.
Slide the whole concoction into the oven and let things go for about ten minutes, then pull them back out and distribute your grated cheese on top and lightly sprinkle with more bread crumbs, return to the oven and kick on the Broiler to 500.
Let things go another five minutes or so, then pull out and serve.
Prosciutto-Wrapped Scallops
The Ingredients:
12 medium sea scallops
12 slices of thinly sliced Prosciutto Ham
1/4 cup chopped sun dried tomatoes
2 tbsp chopped fresh basil leaves
2 tbsp sliced black olives
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
sea salt
lemon juice
1/4 stick of butter
fresh ground black pepper
2 cups baby salad greens
First the credits. This recipe is based on one published by Food Network's Cooking Diva Giada de Laurentiis, except I've made some procedural and serving changes to accommodate a platter presentation with more readily available ingredients.
And here's how I put things together...
Heat the oven to 350 degrees F, and toss a large heavy skillet on the stove top on medium heat and put in your butter to melt.
Rinse your scallops and remove the tough "foot" or "tendon" on the side if it's still present. Put your cleaned scallops in a shallow dish and pour in a little lemon juice and let them swim around while you make the other preparations.
Toss your tomatoes, olives, and basil into a food processor and chop things finely as you slowly pour in your olive oil. Don't add all of it at once and stop occasionally to scrape down the sides of the processor bowl. Keep adding oil and processing to you have a thin, chunky paste...not a slurry.
Now back to your scallops. Are they still swimming in lemon juice?
Well dump out the juice, and move them into your melted butter and lightly sear them on the two flat sides. Be careful not to fully cook them now, they'll have plenty of time in the oven later to get to a medium or medium well temperature.
Turn off your heat and take them out and lightly sprinkle them on all sides with salt and pepper.
Now lay out two strips of Prosciutto and fold them in half long ways, spoon a little of your tomato/olive mixture out in the middle of each slice and top each with a scallop.
Stay with me here now, we're on the home stretch...grab some toothpicks, fold the prosciutto up around the scallops and pin the two flaps together with the toothpick vertically.
Do the same procedure with each scallop and place them in a buttered pyrex dish and pop them into the oven for about 15 minutes.
Now go pour yourself a mixed drink or a glass of wine, but stop back by and check their progress at the ten minute point. If you like your scallops well done just be careful to not dry out the prosciutto too much.
Spread your salad greens out on a large plate or platter and arrange your hot wrapped scallops around the greens, garnish with some lemon wedges, and try to not get trampled when you bring them out of the kitchen to your guests.
Regards Y'all
The Redneck Gourmet
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Update Photos Show My Progress And Insanity
OK folks, I'm sitting here in the International Headquarters of my infant company, weak and sleepy and slightly buzzed and full of confessions.
You'd be too if you were so full of Turkey and Dressing and various and sundry Casseroles and vegetable dishes and my own Seafood Extravaganza of Oysters and Scallops and frankly...
Here's how things would look from the executive offices while gazing over the monitor of my Network Server PC:
(that's a 9' wide x 5' high vintage i.e. 20 year old yet brand-new hand sewn American Flag from the "Valley Forge Flag Company" hanging there on the wall--Betsy Ross was unavailable for my commissioning efforts...)
And here's a long overdue photo of little Missy the Turbo Pup cruising down the road in her deluxe coachman sleeper area of the Chrysler 300 on the way to Indianapolis earlier this month...
And just because this came up when I dumped the digital Camera here's a look at a giant 16" Lodge cast iron skillet full of cornbread I did a couple of weeks ago to go along with a gallon cooking of my soon to be world famous "Green Butt" White Pork Chili...
Finally to the project at hand, here's the lonely metal "electrical enclosure" with some holes cut in and a terminal strip and a 24 volt power supply mounted on a DIN rail with some terminal strip modules...
I keep trying to keep the belly button high electronics workbench cleaned off but things like the giant magnifying glass to assist 50 year old eyes keep getting in the way..."the better to see you with...My DEAR..."
And here is the neural network of my new business enterprise--"Mission Control"--fully outfitted and operational as shown here:
Top shelf Radio with Rush Lindbaugh and TV with Food Network.
Mid Shelf with 400 Watt 24 Volt power supply and the Horner project PLC
Bottom shelf with "old HP laptop", IR Temperature probes, and insulated mug of Wine
Hot wire (red) installed...PROGRESS...
Warning lights this morning added..."Danger...Danger...Will Robinson..."
And soon to be finished up this weekend and delivered to the job site...resulting in ...
CASH FLOW (I hope)
Stay tuned to this channel for more engineering antics...
Avoiding A Turkey Malfunction
Tropical Thanksgiving???
Here's hoping that you don't open your oven at lunch or dinner today and find something that looks like this looking back at you...
Here's hoping that you don't open your oven at lunch or dinner today and find something that looks like this looking back at you...
(Idea and Image Shamelessly stolen from here)
Happy Thanksgiving Y'all....
Heh...
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Government Insanity...My Personal Experience
Can I Get The Responsible Politicians To Bend Over?
The past month, in my spare time...you know...
"spare time"
that would be my time not spent chasing goblins in my computers or working in my basement trying to make a dime building things or driving across country to spend time and money taking programming classes...
that time...
I've been spending my spare time opening mail from various and sundry local, state, and federal Government agencies, all welcoming me and my new company to the business world. Of course in the process they also enthusiastically tell me how much it's going to cost me to try to do business in their city, county, state, and/or country and attempt to earn some semblance of a living.
Don't get me wrong...I knew it was ultimately coming.
You see, having owned most if not all of three Georgia Corporations back in the 1990's, and having been in a senior management position in another company in the 1980's, I'm well aware of the bullshit the government puts you through when you try to earn a living on your own and possibly create a few jobs for others in the process.
But still...
The tone of the current bureaucratic onslaught has tilted me back on my heals a bit because of their insidious, terse, even desperate-for-cash tone delivered in their correspondence.
It's like they believe any money you have already belongs to the government before you earn it or at least collect it from your customers.
These bastards are already overtly threatening me with penalties and interest if I don't comply to the letter of their confiscatory laws (with all of the associated I's dotted and T's crossed) even before I've made one single penny, and their "fees" and "assessments" and "licenses" are starting to add up.
And doing business in the state of Tennessee is cheap compared to many if not most states, BUT...
I just want to ask this this morning...
WHO THE %$#@ DO THESE PEOPLE THINK THEY ARE?
Further, where the #$%@ do they think the money they're asking for comes from and how do they expect anyone to produce anything and offer employment to anyone else when they make it virtually impossible to do business without a lawyer and accountant looking over your shoulder every minute of every day?
Hello...
I'm waiting for an answer...
(que the sounds of the crickets chirping)
You want details?
It costs $100, paid to the Tennessee Secretary of State, to file incorporation papers establishing Plastics Engineering Technologies.
OK?
Then Knox County (or any other Tennessee county for that matter) wants a minimum "fee" of $24 for a "Business License", even if I never sell anything delivered in the entire state of Tennessee or more specifically Knox County or the City of Knoxville.
And then the Imperial Federal Government of the By-God United States of 'Merica's Internal Revenue Service let me elect to be a "Sub chapter S" Corporation for tax purposes (for "FREE"), but they also sent me a letter warning about using Dividends to pay Owners and Corporate Officers rather than paying taxable salaries and let me know that they have already set up a direct deposit electronic funds transfer account in the Corporation's name.
Gee...THANKS Mr./Mrs. IRS employees...
Meanwhile, back at the state level I was just blindsided with the Tennessee Franchise and Excise Tax last weekend.
Thankfully the Tennessee Department of Revenue helpfully sent me a letter indicating that they had already considerately set up an account in the company's name and let me know that our$100 minimum "Franchise and Excise Tax" fee was due and payable by April 15th next year.
Boy...I was happy that they took care of that for me.
In that same letter they also reminded me that I have to apply for a Tennessee Sales Tax Number (I already knew that and was putting it off) even though again I'll probably not sell or deliver anything into the state of Tennessee in 2009.
The thing I learned about "State sales tax numbers" while living and doing business in Georgia is that even if you owe no sales tax, if you don't fill out the forms and make the filings on time the assholes charge you a penalty for late filing.
I ended up paying Georgia near $100 a year for a couple of years for late quarterly tax forms until I decided to start paying "Bob the Accountant" a couple of thousand dollars a year to keep the Feds and State and City and County and Herpes and Gonorrhea and Aids and Fleas and Ticks and Athletes Foot and Jock Itch out of and off of me and my property.
I guess my point here in closing is this. It's easy for the population and the media to lament the current business climate and the lack of employment for so many Americans, but then again...look at the Crap Government makes people do when all they want to accomplish is earn a living.
I say if the Government would get out of the way and get their hands out of people's pockets the level of pain and suffering would be greatly reduced and go away all together about ten times faster than it will with them standing in the way of progress.
What about this concept is there to not understand?
Is it just ME?
that will be all...for now...dammit
The past month, in my spare time...you know...
"spare time"
that would be my time not spent chasing goblins in my computers or working in my basement trying to make a dime building things or driving across country to spend time and money taking programming classes...
that time...
I've been spending my spare time opening mail from various and sundry local, state, and federal Government agencies, all welcoming me and my new company to the business world. Of course in the process they also enthusiastically tell me how much it's going to cost me to try to do business in their city, county, state, and/or country and attempt to earn some semblance of a living.
Don't get me wrong...I knew it was ultimately coming.
You see, having owned most if not all of three Georgia Corporations back in the 1990's, and having been in a senior management position in another company in the 1980's, I'm well aware of the bullshit the government puts you through when you try to earn a living on your own and possibly create a few jobs for others in the process.
But still...
The tone of the current bureaucratic onslaught has tilted me back on my heals a bit because of their insidious, terse, even desperate-for-cash tone delivered in their correspondence.
It's like they believe any money you have already belongs to the government before you earn it or at least collect it from your customers.
These bastards are already overtly threatening me with penalties and interest if I don't comply to the letter of their confiscatory laws (with all of the associated I's dotted and T's crossed) even before I've made one single penny, and their "fees" and "assessments" and "licenses" are starting to add up.
And doing business in the state of Tennessee is cheap compared to many if not most states, BUT...
I just want to ask this this morning...
WHO THE %$#@ DO THESE PEOPLE THINK THEY ARE?
Further, where the #$%@ do they think the money they're asking for comes from and how do they expect anyone to produce anything and offer employment to anyone else when they make it virtually impossible to do business without a lawyer and accountant looking over your shoulder every minute of every day?
Hello...
I'm waiting for an answer...
(que the sounds of the crickets chirping)
You want details?
It costs $100, paid to the Tennessee Secretary of State, to file incorporation papers establishing Plastics Engineering Technologies.
OK?
Then Knox County (or any other Tennessee county for that matter) wants a minimum "fee" of $24 for a "Business License", even if I never sell anything delivered in the entire state of Tennessee or more specifically Knox County or the City of Knoxville.
And then the Imperial Federal Government of the By-God United States of 'Merica's Internal Revenue Service let me elect to be a "Sub chapter S" Corporation for tax purposes (for "FREE"), but they also sent me a letter warning about using Dividends to pay Owners and Corporate Officers rather than paying taxable salaries and let me know that they have already set up a direct deposit electronic funds transfer account in the Corporation's name.
Gee...THANKS Mr./Mrs. IRS employees...
Meanwhile, back at the state level I was just blindsided with the Tennessee Franchise and Excise Tax last weekend.
Thankfully the Tennessee Department of Revenue helpfully sent me a letter indicating that they had already considerately set up an account in the company's name and let me know that our$100 minimum "Franchise and Excise Tax" fee was due and payable by April 15th next year.
Boy...I was happy that they took care of that for me.
In that same letter they also reminded me that I have to apply for a Tennessee Sales Tax Number (I already knew that and was putting it off) even though again I'll probably not sell or deliver anything into the state of Tennessee in 2009.
The thing I learned about "State sales tax numbers" while living and doing business in Georgia is that even if you owe no sales tax, if you don't fill out the forms and make the filings on time the assholes charge you a penalty for late filing.
I ended up paying Georgia near $100 a year for a couple of years for late quarterly tax forms until I decided to start paying "Bob the Accountant" a couple of thousand dollars a year to keep the Feds and State and City and County and Herpes and Gonorrhea and Aids and Fleas and Ticks and Athletes Foot and Jock Itch out of and off of me and my property.
I guess my point here in closing is this. It's easy for the population and the media to lament the current business climate and the lack of employment for so many Americans, but then again...look at the Crap Government makes people do when all they want to accomplish is earn a living.
I say if the Government would get out of the way and get their hands out of people's pockets the level of pain and suffering would be greatly reduced and go away all together about ten times faster than it will with them standing in the way of progress.
What about this concept is there to not understand?
Is it just ME?
that will be all...for now...dammit
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Free At Last...Free At Last
Thank Anyone But Bill Gates...I'm Free At Last...
Well Ladies and Gentlemen, I have to hand it to the Norton 360 software people, because after FOUR full scans lasting about 15 hours over THREE days, today's Virus Update Download finally caught up with the bull crap that had my old HP laptop tied in knots since last Friday.
A quick scan after downloading the newest descriptions took care of things, and then I ran the free download version of the software from Malwarebytes and it found another EIGHTY things lurking on my hard drive and after evaporating them with the click of a mouse I feel Twenty years younger and thirty pounds lighter.
I also ran the Malwarebytes program on my server and it found another five things Norton didn't find.
I swear if you use your computer for anything but Facebook and games and you're online with any frequency you absolutely HAVE TO have a strict anti-virus and spyware program and further...
you have to use it regularly, if not EVERY DAY.
Look at what this recent BS has cost me...and what it could have cost me if I didn't have three computers or if it had happened a week earlier when I was out of town in the training class.
Just remember if you're a spammer or virus writer or other sniveling booger eating purveyor of computer diseases and I ever find you that there is a high probability I'll be spending three or four years in prison while you spend the rest of your life with my amputated foot/tennis shoe up your ass or sticking out of your ear.
That will be all...for now...
Well Ladies and Gentlemen, I have to hand it to the Norton 360 software people, because after FOUR full scans lasting about 15 hours over THREE days, today's Virus Update Download finally caught up with the bull crap that had my old HP laptop tied in knots since last Friday.
A quick scan after downloading the newest descriptions took care of things, and then I ran the free download version of the software from Malwarebytes and it found another EIGHTY things lurking on my hard drive and after evaporating them with the click of a mouse I feel Twenty years younger and thirty pounds lighter.
I also ran the Malwarebytes program on my server and it found another five things Norton didn't find.
I swear if you use your computer for anything but Facebook and games and you're online with any frequency you absolutely HAVE TO have a strict anti-virus and spyware program and further...
you have to use it regularly, if not EVERY DAY.
Look at what this recent BS has cost me...and what it could have cost me if I didn't have three computers or if it had happened a week earlier when I was out of town in the training class.
Just remember if you're a spammer or virus writer or other sniveling booger eating purveyor of computer diseases and I ever find you that there is a high probability I'll be spending three or four years in prison while you spend the rest of your life with my amputated foot/tennis shoe up your ass or sticking out of your ear.
That will be all...for now...
I Wish I Could Do Stuff Like This
Dang......
There was a time...from about 1965 until about 1975--before I got my first car and discovered "women" and Frisbee--when I spent most of my spare time building models.
Mainly flying model airplanes.
You know, those things made out of balsa wood and tissue with noisy smelly little nitro-methane powered engines?
Today's hobbyists have the luxury of using really high powered electric motors and expensive lithium batteries and designs have been built that are tiny and can be flown by remote control in your back yard or a small public park, and even inside a school gymnasium.
Check out this guy's skill in the "Indoor Acrobatics Championships":
(Of course the pilot looks to be about 18 years old and still can see and has his other God Given senses and reflexes intact...I'd probably kill myself or a bystander as any plane being flown by me going through those gyrations would be doing so totally by accident...)
There was a time...from about 1965 until about 1975--before I got my first car and discovered "women" and Frisbee--when I spent most of my spare time building models.
Mainly flying model airplanes.
You know, those things made out of balsa wood and tissue with noisy smelly little nitro-methane powered engines?
Today's hobbyists have the luxury of using really high powered electric motors and expensive lithium batteries and designs have been built that are tiny and can be flown by remote control in your back yard or a small public park, and even inside a school gymnasium.
Check out this guy's skill in the "Indoor Acrobatics Championships":
(Of course the pilot looks to be about 18 years old and still can see and has his other God Given senses and reflexes intact...I'd probably kill myself or a bystander as any plane being flown by me going through those gyrations would be doing so totally by accident...)
Monday, November 23, 2009
Who The Heck Got To Decide Puppies Couldn't Eat Onions & Chocolate?
I'd Dang Sure Change Things If I were In Charge
Ladies...
Wouldn't it be nice if your Boyfriend's/Husband's breath didn't smell any worse than your DOG's breath?
Or vice versa?
After all, for many households that would be a MAJOR IMPROVEMENT (and you know who you are when I say that...)
And to all of my fellow Male contemporaries out there (of all races, creeds, and national origins) finding yourself in relationships of various definitions and descriptions with anyone from "that girl/woman I met last night" or "that crazy insane bitch I met last year" and proceeding all the way to "my last year on this planet because I think that she's just hanging around to piss me off..."
I want to make a valid point here...But I digress...
You see, what got this rant started is that this holiday season finds be for once in a LooooOnNNNNG time not in charge of "ALL" or "Most of" or "a Significant Segment of" the Thanksgiving Day meal.
Since we're stuck in town this year in the process of finishing "The Epic PLC Panel Project" in time for a November 30th shipment, our next door neighbors invited us to come over to their family gathering on Thursday.
I think that it really should be considered a relief, but at the same time I'm afraid that I'm going into "cooking withdrawal" because I keep offering to make things and they keep turning me down and in spite of their refusals I'll probably come up with some appetizer like Oysters Rockefeller or Angels on Horseback or a seafood dip (but not Kitty food) or something.
These days I find that I have the overwhelming urge TO COOK SOMETHING SUBSTANTIAL at least every 48 hours.
And it has to take at least two hours to prepare.
Heck, in a pinch I've been known to take one of the Food Network's Rachael Ray's "Thirty Minute" meals, drink a gallon of wine or a pint of Vodka in front of the stove, and end up stretching that sucker out to 125 minutes, then spend the next day washing the car and the dog and the ceiling to get the grease and tomato stains off everything.
It was still FUN, and it usually ends up tasting pretty good.
In recent years I cooked Christmas dinner for SEVENTEEN...plus or minus...with a little help here and there from Pat and from attendees with desert, and that took most of TWO DAY's in prep and final heating and I had to borrow a friend's oven because we'd moved out of the Island Condo with the double oven by then and I had every pot and bowl in the kitchen dirty in the end.
So this week all I have to do is show up if I want to, but back to my original point...
Isn't it weird that Puppies can't eat (or aren't supposed to eat)Onions and Garlic and Chocolate?
Seriously, I have to make a conscious effort to control the onion content of my dinner meals which Missy the Turbo Pup always generally enjoys with us each evening.
Last night I did an original dish I call "Caribbean Perogies" which features Mrs Paul's Three Cheese Potato Perogies and a mixture of Black Beans, Yellow Hominy Corn, along with Cumin and other spicy Mexican/Caribbean seasonings and ...
tons of ONIONS and GARLIC.
(somewhere there's a group of people of Polish descent shaking their heads...)
Any way, I have to leave the ONIONS and GARLIC out of the mixture until I can spoon the Turbo Pup's portion out of the pot, then toss them in.
This because our Vet says little pups shouldn't eat onions and garlic because they're toxic just like chocolate to them.
That's somehow just WRONG.
Then she has to sit there and Yip at me begging for a bite of my evening portion extra dark chocolate.
And another thing...it's possibly a two way street on the restrictions I guess.
If Missy can't have onions and garlic will someone please tell me if I have to stop eating a bowl full of her Milk Bone Tarter Control with my milk this morning?
Ladies...
Wouldn't it be nice if your Boyfriend's/Husband's breath didn't smell any worse than your DOG's breath?
Or vice versa?
After all, for many households that would be a MAJOR IMPROVEMENT (and you know who you are when I say that...)
And to all of my fellow Male contemporaries out there (of all races, creeds, and national origins) finding yourself in relationships of various definitions and descriptions with anyone from "that girl/woman I met last night" or "that crazy insane bitch I met last year" and proceeding all the way to "my last year on this planet because I think that she's just hanging around to piss me off..."
I want to make a valid point here...But I digress...
You see, what got this rant started is that this holiday season finds be for once in a LooooOnNNNNG time not in charge of "ALL" or "Most of" or "a Significant Segment of" the Thanksgiving Day meal.
Since we're stuck in town this year in the process of finishing "The Epic PLC Panel Project" in time for a November 30th shipment, our next door neighbors invited us to come over to their family gathering on Thursday.
I think that it really should be considered a relief, but at the same time I'm afraid that I'm going into "cooking withdrawal" because I keep offering to make things and they keep turning me down and in spite of their refusals I'll probably come up with some appetizer like Oysters Rockefeller or Angels on Horseback or a seafood dip (but not Kitty food) or something.
These days I find that I have the overwhelming urge TO COOK SOMETHING SUBSTANTIAL at least every 48 hours.
And it has to take at least two hours to prepare.
Heck, in a pinch I've been known to take one of the Food Network's Rachael Ray's "Thirty Minute" meals, drink a gallon of wine or a pint of Vodka in front of the stove, and end up stretching that sucker out to 125 minutes, then spend the next day washing the car and the dog and the ceiling to get the grease and tomato stains off everything.
It was still FUN, and it usually ends up tasting pretty good.
In recent years I cooked Christmas dinner for SEVENTEEN...plus or minus...with a little help here and there from Pat and from attendees with desert, and that took most of TWO DAY's in prep and final heating and I had to borrow a friend's oven because we'd moved out of the Island Condo with the double oven by then and I had every pot and bowl in the kitchen dirty in the end.
So this week all I have to do is show up if I want to, but back to my original point...
Isn't it weird that Puppies can't eat (or aren't supposed to eat)Onions and Garlic and Chocolate?
Seriously, I have to make a conscious effort to control the onion content of my dinner meals which Missy the Turbo Pup always generally enjoys with us each evening.
Last night I did an original dish I call "Caribbean Perogies" which features Mrs Paul's Three Cheese Potato Perogies and a mixture of Black Beans, Yellow Hominy Corn, along with Cumin and other spicy Mexican/Caribbean seasonings and ...
tons of ONIONS and GARLIC.
(somewhere there's a group of people of Polish descent shaking their heads...)
Any way, I have to leave the ONIONS and GARLIC out of the mixture until I can spoon the Turbo Pup's portion out of the pot, then toss them in.
This because our Vet says little pups shouldn't eat onions and garlic because they're toxic just like chocolate to them.
That's somehow just WRONG.
Then she has to sit there and Yip at me begging for a bite of my evening portion extra dark chocolate.
And another thing...it's possibly a two way street on the restrictions I guess.
If Missy can't have onions and garlic will someone please tell me if I have to stop eating a bowl full of her Milk Bone Tarter Control with my milk this morning?
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Slaying The Dragon
Day Two With The Computer Version Of H1N1?
I'm really dreading going downstairs this morning...thus my reason for waiting past 10 AM to make the first journey.
I have to fire up the old HP laptop and wrestle around with the Norton Antivirus/Anti Spyware software and hopefully exorcise the demons out of it's system registers and start up files before anything productive can be accomplished.
I'm thinking I'll give the process another hour or so of my time this morning, then if I'm not successful I may reluctantly hand the machine over to Staples or Best Buy for a "PC tune up" and see if they can do anything with the stupid thing.
In the mean time I guess I'll be forced to bring the PLC and 24 volt power supply and infrared sensors and associated stuff UPSTAIRS into my office and live with tripping over the wiring this week until things get straightened out.
It's really frustrating to finally have the shop finished and the Internet installed and everything working, only to have some asshole break into my house through the wiring and give me this computer venereal disease.
I think we should catch the people that think it's funny or that financially prosper by writing viruses and other forms of "malware" and send them to Malasya or somewhere, try them, convict them, and thrash them within an inch of their lives by caining them with the kind of passion and vigor I feel right now.
I find this crap to be no less damaging than if they had pryed open one of my windows or doors and came inside and set my TV or some other expensive piece of electronic equipment on fire.
I have to go now and try to get something done, because writing about it makes me think about it and further thinking is going to make my head explode...
dammit...
I'm really dreading going downstairs this morning...thus my reason for waiting past 10 AM to make the first journey.
I have to fire up the old HP laptop and wrestle around with the Norton Antivirus/Anti Spyware software and hopefully exorcise the demons out of it's system registers and start up files before anything productive can be accomplished.
I'm thinking I'll give the process another hour or so of my time this morning, then if I'm not successful I may reluctantly hand the machine over to Staples or Best Buy for a "PC tune up" and see if they can do anything with the stupid thing.
In the mean time I guess I'll be forced to bring the PLC and 24 volt power supply and infrared sensors and associated stuff UPSTAIRS into my office and live with tripping over the wiring this week until things get straightened out.
It's really frustrating to finally have the shop finished and the Internet installed and everything working, only to have some asshole break into my house through the wiring and give me this computer venereal disease.
I think we should catch the people that think it's funny or that financially prosper by writing viruses and other forms of "malware" and send them to Malasya or somewhere, try them, convict them, and thrash them within an inch of their lives by caining them with the kind of passion and vigor I feel right now.
I find this crap to be no less damaging than if they had pryed open one of my windows or doors and came inside and set my TV or some other expensive piece of electronic equipment on fire.
I have to go now and try to get something done, because writing about it makes me think about it and further thinking is going to make my head explode...
dammit...
