Back To Reality

For Only A Week...


Well, the rain NOAA and the National Weather Service threatened us with--causing us to abandon South Carolina a day early on Saturday--finally got here to the Banks of the Mighty Tennessee River after dark this evening.

In spite of my best efforts spent cleaning most of the crap out of my gutters this afternoon, the stupid little "propeller seeds" from a nearby tree that remained in there when I was finished apparently have managed to pile up again at the downspouts so three out of four of them are CLOGGED...AGAIN...and water is spilling over and pounding a couple of Tomato plants and generally making a mess around the base of the house.

I didn't put the gutters on the house and it amazes me that the old guy that owned it for almost 45 years managed to keep them clean enough to do any good. I've already made several modifications to the downspouts and it looks like I'm going to have to replace two more soon in order to get good flow (they're old small pipes like they used in the 1960's.)

I'd really like to have totally new guttering installed but that's a thousand bucks we really don't have or otherwise want to spend now on "this old house." Thus I think with a little injuneering and some fine tuning of the existing "rainwater collection and discharge system", and then adding a coat of paint when we do the trim and soffits and fascia later this summer, that I can make things work as intended.

I actually hate gutters.

The new "International Building Code" and most local codes by default require them on new construction, but gutters are just a band aid on the water flow/control problem most homeowners face, and most of the time they end up a government mandated architectural eyesore in the process.

If you do a little checking around and look at average and maximum hourly rainfall totals for everyone here in the subtropical southeastern United By-God States of 'Merica you'll see that most houses with even smaller than average roof surface area/roof pitch standards can easily overflow even a commercial grade 6" x 6" gutter system...even with 3" x 4" downspouts...unless you have your builder/contractor install downspouts something like EVERY 10 FEET ALONG THE FRONT AND BACK AND SIDES OF YOUR HOUSE.

And who wants to look at downspouts between every window and door any way?

My solution is to do things the old fashioned way and build the house up on a berm or high spot, then slope the grade/soil/dirt sharply away from the house and let the water flow off the roof in sheets and spill onto the ground naturally and run down across the lawn to the carefully thought out swales (swale = "drainage ditch.")

The problem with that great, simple, workable theory comes today when the "greedy developer/builder" gets a site plan approved by the idiots downtown on the "zoning board" allowing him/her to cram 24 houses on a little 5 acre piece of dirt which slopes toward the middle on all four sides.

Then when it rains and everyone's government mandated gutters overflow everyone ends up living on water front property and someone possibly is flooded out by all of the highly directed water pouring out of downspouts.

Come to think of it, I believe that the code enforcement folks down in Florida have the right idea as I learned when I was permitting a house (which I never ended up building) in Gulf County Florida.

While they still require gutters and down spouts, down there they will only allow your house and other solid, non-permeable things like concrete/asphalt driveways and patios to cover something like 45% of the total real estate area of your lot.

That way when monsoon season hits or a Hurricane or Tropical Storm comes ashore the water which lands on your property has a place to go and soak into the ground in the process before washing your car and your neighbors Dachshund Puppy into the bay or Gulf of Mexico.

Fortunately up here in Eastern Tennessee we have a near half acre lot like everyone else on our street and we're on the uphill side of the subdivision so other than my gutters pissing me off two or three times a year we don't see many serious water problems.

Still, if it were up to me I'd take a crowbar and a hammer and BEAT THOSE OLD GUTTERS off my house and just let things drip all around when it rains.

Don't tell the government morons, but from what I can tell that's what happens (water pouring over the flooded gutters in sheets) at least half the time on most homes due to stopped up gutters/downspouts...so what good does making people buy them (gutters) if they don't keep them clean?

Maybe Obama and the Obamamanics can appoint a "Gutter Tsar" to run around inspecting gutters and fining people for having trees and weeds growing up out of their stopped up gutters like the stupid renters a couple of doors down from here do as I write this tirade.

Wait...

OK...I'm going to stop writing now because the longer I go the more pissed off I get it seems about...of all things...government mandated GUTTERS...

oh....OH....ah....Ah....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

Clunk...

(the sound of me falling over backwards out of my chair...)

Home Sweet Home

Early Return Avoids Rainfall...


This morning I made an executive decision to blow out of the upstate of South Carolina a day early and head back home here to the Turbo Pup Compound on the Banks of the Mighty Tennessee River after I cooked breakfast for the crowd.

Based on the rainfall here this afternoon and what I'm seeing on the Weather Channel, it was a wise decision.

We only had a little fog over on Saluda grade coming up into North Carolina, and then it only finally started raining once we were back in Knoxtown a couple of exits from home.

After unloading/unpacking and a trip to one of our weekend watering holes for drinks and dinner, I've been wallowing around on the sofa watching the Kentucky Derby and trying to catch up on my sleep--missing my mid-day nap two of the past three days--only sleeping three or four hours each night on the sofa because the Turbo Pup and her Mom took over the Guest room Queen sized bed all three nights we were visiting.

So now I have to go round up the flashlights and check the batterys because we're under a Tornado and Flash Flood watch until tomorrow morning, and I hear the bed and a crossword puzzle calling my name and I think I'll call it an evening and try to get some more sleep.

Regards Y'all...

Dain Bramage

Watch This...You'll Laugh





Heh...

Expert Thumb Twiddler For Hire

Wasting Time With One Hand Tied Behind My Back...


Dang it...I'd almost forgotten how good I am at doing nothing all day.

Take yesterday, for instance.

I didn't do a darn thing...if you don't count eating and drinking and taking the Turbo Pup for a couple of potty walks.

Heck, I didn't even bother to blog any in the process, but I did check e-mail a couple of times and found out my latest shipment of pneumatic control valves arrived at my customer's plant and even better, they were shipping me another set of eight to rebuild next week.

And here's the crazy thing about my situation...

There's a darn good chance that I'll end up doing the exact same thing all day today.

Wish me luck...If you will...

Palmetto State Blogging

Lazy Days In South Carolina...


We hadn't been back across the Smokey Mountains through Ashville to Greenville in about a year until yesterday...that situation being helped by the closure of I-40 at the Tenn/NC line last October by a huge rock slide that took until last weekend to repair.

Fortunately we found both east bound lanes of the interstate open and traffic moving like nothing ever happened mid afternoon, and even though one west bound lane was still closed the traffic seemed to be moving smoothly in the opposite direction also.

The Turbo Pup and I are hanging around with my old college roommate for the day while Pat has meetings with a new health provider client, then hopefully the weather will hold up for a lake trip tomorrow--something I haven't done in a couple of years.

There was a time in my life when I almost lived on the water full time, but the absence of important things like OWNING A BOAT since my 32' Sea Ray was stolen in 2003 down in Florida has limited my ability to burn mass quantities of gasoline while floating around the liquid parts of the Earth's surface.

Of course with Gas running over $3 a gallon in marinas I don't miss filling up a 150 gallon fuel tank. Do the math...$450 for a couple of days worth of fuel is a luxury I haven't been able to afford for quite a while now.

The best way to do boating is to have FRIENDS that own the boats, then you go out and drink a few beers and get sunburned, and at the end of the day you toss them a $20 bill for gas and say "Bye...had a good time..." and drive home as they spend the next two hours cleaning things up and tieing things down.

I, actually, being a professional Pirate/Beach Bum and competent deck hand, generally stay around and help swab the decks and wipe the suntan lotion off the upholstery and fiberglass and so on.

It's actually fun to me to take care of a boat...just writing about it makes me want to go to Boat trader.com and torture myself looking at used boats right now.

Pirate Porn I call it...ohhh Baby...look at the Hull on that one...

Government Sponsored General Motors' Lies

The Devil's In The Details...


My blog Idols over at Powerline blog pointed out this article in Forbes online which further clarifies the mis-statements--verging on outright fraud--contained in the latest round of General Motors TV ads and GM CEO Ed Whitacre's companion op-ed piece in the Wall Street Journal.

In the WSJ piece Mr. Whitacre writes: "Today, General Motors is announcing that it has made a payment of $5.8 billion to the U.S. Treasury and Export Development Canada. We're paying back—in full, with interest, years ahead of schedule—loans made to help fund the new GM.

Our ability to pay back these loans less than a year after emerging from bankruptcy is a sign that our plan for building a new GM is working."

What he fails to mention is that GM hasn't turned a dollar of profit yet...and they paid back only $6.7 billion out of $49.5 billion (including some earlier payments) the US Federal Government put into the company in 2008-2009.

He also fails to mention that in paying off the 7% loan using TARP funds (read that "other" taxpayer money previously given to them for "operating capitol"), it also allows the Obamamaniacs in the government to save face with the voters while they tell the US Department of Energy it's OK to loan GM yet another $10 billion at 5% for use in retooling their auto plants to meet the Government's own increased gas mileage (CAFE) standards in 2011.

Click on the link and read the entire article if you want to know more and can stand learning about the continuing stream of lies told by and on behalf of our first black president and his inept administration.

I have to go now and soak my head in ice water before it explodes, then finish packing in anticipation of heading over to South Carolina this afternoon for a long working weekend vacation.

Regards Y'all...

Hide The Decline

Global Warming Humor...If There Is Such A Thing...


For those of you who are too busy to follow the realities of the gigantic International Fraud being foisted on prosperous countries like the United States by the United Nations and our own internal bunch of sniveling, booger eating, tie-died, patchouli stinking, tree hugging, greenie weenie Owl Gore followers...

I offer as a public service the following brief insight garnered from my own efforts expending hundreds of hours reading crap that doesn't make it into the NY Times and the front pages of Yahoo News or your local newspaper.

First of all, you have to understand that about 75% of the popular "pseudo scientific" crap used to support the entire Global Warming Fraud and currently being used by Democratic/Liberal/socialist America Hating members of congress in their efforts to pass Cap and Tax "Cap and Trade" legislation was produced by a guy at Penn State University named Michael Mann...inventor of the infamous "hockey stick graph" purportedly showing a rapid increase in global temperatures cause by man and man made "greenhouse gasses"--namely Carbon Dioxide.

After Dr. Mann published his gerrymandered chart using data he liked and excluding a whole butt load of stuff he didn't like and that didn't support the ideas that were getting his inane research efforts funded with government grants, the whole world wide population of "global warming' fleas and ticks and whores and charlatans jumped on his bandwagon and, supported by the likes of former Vice President Owl "giant carbon footprint" Gore things were cruising along on autopilot for about ten or fifteen years or so...UNTIL...

A bunch of other scientists...REAL scientists--not guys like "The Professor" on "Gilligan's Island", started noticing that the hottest year in modern records wasn't in the 1990's as Mann and his ilk including a couple of idiots at NASA suggested.

The hottest year on record was actually in the late 1930's (I'm too lazy to Google the fact right now and it doesn't really matter in the course of this diatribe.)

Professor Mann conveniently left that little factoid out of his data chart when he was drawing his "hockey stick" Graph.

Fast forward to 2010 and even though with the leaking of the E-mails from the lab in Britain and everything else, Mann (and our Democratic Congress) still has gonads big enough to want to complain when someone challenges his findings and reputation or makes fun in a humorous sense thereof.

To that end, I give you "Hide the Decline"



and "Hide the Decline II" (produced after Mann threatened to sue the producers of the first video for using his "image" without his permission in the parody.)



I'm really tired of talking and writing about the subject of "Global Warming" and it's latest evolution..."Climate Change", but as a good citizen and blogger I have to mention it every now and then just so I can tell you "I told you so" when gas hits $5.00 a gallon and you electric bill runs $600 a month using "Green energy."

I tried...DAMMIT...

Hubbell Ultra Deep Field 3-D Images

Expensive Photos of Nothing A Whole Bunch Of Stuff?





In my opinion, that's a dang fine use of my Tax Dollars.

Too bad I can't just pay for stuff like that and the military and the interstate highways--stuff I actually use and benefit from--instead of buying housing and paying cash for clunkers for crack heads and earned income credits for idiots that slept through high school before having six kids they can't afford to feed working for minimum wage at McDonald's.

(And there you have it, Ladies and Gentlemen...my angry white Christian Conservative/libertarian male insensitive moment for the day...stay tuned to this channel for more insensitivity as it erupts...)

My Garden's In...But I'm Heading Out

Travel Plans Necessitate Automation...


I'm pleased to report that I managed to sneak out into the garden between rain showers and get the balance of my vegetable/herb seedlings into the dirt yesterday afternoon.

It wasn't pretty, but when it was all said and done I had Mint, Cilantro, Dill, Basil, Fennel, Parsley, and Sage in the Herb Garden area and Sweet Texas Onions, Radish, Okra, Pole Beans, two kinds of Cucumbers, Watermelon and Squash in the main garden along with Colored Bell, Banana and Cayenne Peppers.

All that in addition to three kinds of Tomatoes and Tomatillos in two other separate beds against the back of the house...surrounded with carrot seeds which are now sprouting around the base of the bigger plants to keep the weeds down in theory.

With any luck I'm planting a few other herbs from seeds and I have some GIANT Pumpkin seeds (bartered for in exchange for a cow while climbing a beanstalk I think)to toss out in a few perimeter areas and some other miscellaneous stuff I may sprinkle around and let it fend for itself over the season.

Besides getting most of the chicken anti-rabbit wire stapled up into place around the perimeter, the most important improvement was the installation of a digital timer supplying an area sprinkler and two sections of soaker hose which will allow us to hopefully complete the extensive travel schedule we have planned over the next six weeks...the upcoming long weekend in South Carolina, a week in Alabama around Mother's Day, Florida possibly thrown in for good measure, and a half a week in Kansas City celebrating Pat's Granddaughter's High School Graduation in late May...without everything drying up and turning to dust in the heat.

I don't mind asking the neighbors to pick up the mail and newspaper and occasionally sprinkle a little water on the house plants, but handling watering the garden is a chore best left to family and life long friends, thus the need for the automation.

As usual I'm sure the water system will continue to grow and evolve over the next few weeks and seasons, but the current experimental evolution will just have to do for now.

Time will tell I guess.

Still Raining On My Garden(ing)

Precipitation Delays Progress...


As of this morning I have about half a garden installed in the back yard.

Ten tomato plants of various descriptions, two Tomatillos, and a row each of onions and radishes.

Oh, and there's the expensive Yuppy container pot of pole beans--four plants--that I paid way too much for and transplanted to a spot in the dirt by the rear fence so they can run along the rails and posts.

There's also a whole bunch of carrot seeds I sprinkled around the base of the tomato plants which are starting to germinate, but the Herb Garden part of the planting is still sitting in little pots in my wheelbarrow while the rain continues to fall.

I was planning on finishing things up today and getting the chicken anti-rabbit wire stapled up around the perimeter but it looks like its going to be tomorrow or even Wednesday morning before things dry out enough to risk dragging my compressor and pneumatic staple gun around in the yard.

I wish everything was already in the ground so it could take advantage of the rainfall.

I may sneak outside between storms and try to get some more stuff in the ground at the risk of having more dirt on me than the plant's roots.

Until then...Regards Y'all...

I Guess That They Think We're All STUPID

I'm Not...Are YOU?


Say I'm sitting here living in a house I borrowed money to pay for.

OK?

And then say at dinner last night I told you and all of my friends that I was celebrating because I had paid off the mortgage I used to buy my house with.

Here...have a drink and acknowledge my accomplishment(s).

Hurray...I'm out of my government insured mortgage and can dance the dance of being "Debt Free."

But wait...

At the end of the evening I let it slip...and I let you in on a little secret...

I actually managed to pay off my first mortgage by...

get this...

BORROWING more money from the government to pay off the first mortgage...this time with no real commitment to legally have to pay back the money to Uncle Sam.

What would you think about that?

Pretty damn clever, eeh? Paying off a legal obligation with money that I have no real legal grounds to be forced to pay back...

Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, just in case you only watch ABC/CBS/NBC/CNN/MSNBC and listen to what the government appointed lacky CEO Ed Whitacre Jr says in their current TV commercials, you'd think that GM had paid back all of their "bail-out" funds.

If you think that, you'd be WRONG, because the Imperial By God Federal Government of the United States of 'Merica is letting these assholes tell you that they have paid back their loan(s), when in reality what they did is take other Taxpayer money--TARP funds-- and basically robbed Peter to pay Paul.

Here's the story as it has been bubbling around the sidelines on FOX news.


A top Senate Republican on Thursday accused the Obama administration of misleading taxpayers about General Motors' loan repayment, saying the struggling auto giant was only able to repay its bailout money by dipping into a separate pot of bailout money.

Sen. Chuck Grassley's charge was backed up by the inspector general for the bailout -- also known as the Trouble Asset Relief Program, or TARP. Watchdog Neil Barofsky told Fox News, as well as the Senate Finance Committee, that General Motors used bailout money to pay back the federal government.

"It appears to be nothing more than an elaborate TARP money shuffle," Grassley, the ranking Republican on the Senate Finance Committee, said in a letter Thursday to Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner.

GM announced Wednesday that it had paid back the $8.1 billion in loans it received from the U.S. and Canadian governments. Of that, $6.7 billion went to the U.S. treasury.

But Grassley said in his letter that a Securities and Exchange Commission form filed by GM showed that $6.7 billion of the tens of billions the company received was sitting in an escrow account and available to be used for repayment. He called on Geithner to provide more information about why the company was allowed to use bailout money to repay bailout money, and how much of the remaining escrow money GM would be allowed to keep.

"The bottom line seems to be that the TARP loans were 'repaid' with other TARP funds in a Treasury escrow account. The TARP loans were not repaid from money GM is earning selling cars, as GM and the administration have claimed in their speeches, press releases and television commercials ," he wrote.

Vice President Biden on Wednesday called the GM repayment a "huge accomplishment."

All I want to know is, how much longer before everyone joins me with a torch and pitchfork in going to Washington DC and tar and feathering Biden and his ilk and riding them all out across the Potomac River on a rail?

Is it just me?

Crappy Weekend Weather

Poor Forecast Yields Indoor Procrastination...


Dang it...It's supposed to rain all weekend according to the weather forecast. Seems to me to be a good excuse to waste a couple of days on the calendar if I'm not careful.

Check back with me here on Monday, but right now I see a high probability that this weekend I will get ABSOLUTELY NOTHING done here at the Turbo Pup Compound on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.

That is, if you don't count cooking.

And possibly doing a little laundry while goofing around in my shop in the basement.

I have a number of non-commercial projects in process I could go down and work on if I can manage to pry myself out from in front of the computer for a few minutes.

There's the balsa wood model airplane kit which is about 1/3 finished, and there's the hardwood vintage canoe model that I started about a year ago and never finished, and then of course there's the second hand push lawnmower which has been cleaned up and the engine torn down to the nuts and bolts...and I have a new gasket set...that could be put back together so I can do a little trimming in the back yard around the garden plots every now and then.

But any and all of that would require EFFORT and ORGANIZATION, and right now I'm feeling LAZY and USELESS.

Like I said...check back later and see what happens.

I have absolutely no idea myself...

I Broke My Big Skillet

Kitchen Consternation's...


For the past few months I've been limping along in my kitchen with the handle on my big deep wall 12" stainless steel skillet slowly cracking away from itself.

I made a couple of temporary repairs using a high temperature epoxy called "Liquid Metal" that seemed to hold for a while, but a couple of weeks ago the handle finally broke off...fortunately in a condition where it didn't splash hot grease or a giant portion of scalding food all over me and the kitchen.

I love that skillet.

I really learned to cook using that big skillet.

It's nothing fancy, just the sort of slightly better than average home kitchen skillet like you could buy at Macy's or Rich's back in the 1990's, but still...

I just refuse to let it go to the scrap heap, but at the same time it's a pain in the butt to pick it up by the little handle on the opposite side from where the main handle was using a pot holder in one hand so today I'm forced to make a decision on a critical piece of Kitchen equipment and the choices are daunting.

It's easy to spend over $100 on a stainless steel skillet of this size, but I'm not sure that tossing out much over half that amount yields anything other than "snob factor" satisfaction for people that watch cooking shows on Food Network but never ever manage to actually lay the TV remote control down and get into the kitchen to cook.

If my old skillet were a car or a car tire, it would have over 100,000 miles on it right now.

Actually, I'd like to replace my old skillet with not one but TWO new skillets, a 12" x 3-1/2" deep straight wall skillet and a 14" sauce/saute pan that can double as a Wok when I get the urge to stir fry something...anything...shrimp...scallops...or just vegetables to keep my ever expanding girth under control.

I don't even care if the new stuff comes close to "matching" the things already laying around in the cabinets here, the idea of a "matched set" of cookware being a concept rendered obsolete years ago when I realized that you naturally wear out certain size vessels in cooking routinely while others sit gathering dust on the sidelines.

Knives are another source of interest here on the kitchen front.

Years ago I gave away an entire set of German Hienkel's to an angry ex-wife in another life. I found the brand to be functional and lovely to look at, but way overpriced.

Again...the snob factor entered into that equation also. I think that good sharp knives don't have to cost a week's pay and they, like your pots and pans, don't have to match to do a good job in the kitchen.

I grew up watching my grandfather on his farm sharpen everything from plow shares to axes, with the kitchen cutlery and his pocket knife thrown in for good measure.

The man could put a sharpened edge on a dried piece of cow dung that would cut your head off if you weren't paying attention.

I figure the same goes for knives today.

I want to buy some new ones, but I don't want to drop the cost of a decent used car into the process.

I've got a couple of sizes of fairly inexpensive chef's knives and some annoying crappy paring knives laying around here that I use a steel on occasionally, and once in a while I drag them down to the basement and get after them with my Dremel grinding tool.

I think I'm going to look into a moderately priced Japanese Sushi blade and a good pairing knife and another 8" Chef's knife, and then spend the rest of my money on a good set of sharpening/whet stones and be done with the process.

I'll leave the "Ginsu" Knives and the other stuff from Ron Popiel to the amateurs and late night TV watchers.

Regards Y'all...

Professionally Unprofessional

Old Habits Hard To Unlearn...


I hate to admit that I'm having a hard time having to go back to working on a regular schedule and actually accomplishing something on a pre-arranged basis these days.

I hope that you'll understand how hard it is when I've spent years perfecting doing things in fits and starts using bursts of energy, and then falling back to laying around blogging and yelling at the TV and basically doing nothing all day and night for weeks on end in the periods of time in between the spasms of productivity.

This week is another one of those hated "productive periods."

I've been up since 2 AM tearing down another group of four pneumatic valves and getting them solvent cleaned and rinsed off, and if my energy holds out I'll do another batch of four later this morning and ship out another load of eight units today following yesterday's load of four.

My fingers and hands hurt from handling the sharp steel and aluminum parts and cranking on the wrenches and vise handle, and on that note I think that I feel a nap coming on... before getting back up and doing it all over again.

Regards Y'all...

Day The Earth Stood Still In My Dungeon

All Work And No Play Makes Jack Virgil A Dull Boy...


Just in case anyone needs me...

...you only have to come over to the Turbo Pup Compound on the Banks of the Mighty Tennessee River and look down into my shop...following the trail of dust and fumes and cursing while I watch CNN.

Be back when I have another four valves put back together Y'all.

And have a LOVELY Day...If you will...

Somebody "Chop Sueyed" My Personal "Feng Shui"

Where's All Of My Spare Time Gone?


I don't know Ladies and Gentlemen...

I may have to call the "authorities" or an "expert" or something.

This week has started out even busier than last week did, and in spite of loafing around the later part of last week and the weekend trying to shake some sort of "creeping crud" that had taken hold of my spine, now I find myself WaaaaaAAAAAAyyyyyyYYYY behind in my duties.

I hope that you'll understand if the posting here is light and/or sporadic this week as valves fly apart and back together and into boxes.

Of course I reserve the right to see something on TV or in the newspaper and, after my eyeballs refocus after returning from being rolled into the back of my skull, explode here onto the pages of your computer screen so you should keep the Windex and paper towels handy I guess.

Latest Owl Gore Anti-Global Warming Scheme

Probably Taxpayer Funded...


Before...




After...



Next time you even THINK about agreeing with 99% of the crap delivered by the sniveling, booger eating, treehugging, eco-friendly greenie-weenies...

You know...

Stuff like being made to drive a car the sized of a Breadbox that gets 100 MPG...

And letting them turn off all of your new Fluorescent, mercury filled, light bulbs about 22 hours each day because all of the Coal Fired Power Plants and Nuclear Plants have been outlawed by the government...and they've torn down all of the Hydroelectric Dams so the Salmon can swim back up rivers.

...and their beloved "Green" solar farms and the wind farms can't keep up except for about two hours a day...

When you and your family are living through all of that and more, just remember what one FREAKING VOLCANO did to Air Travel in Europe and in Asia this past week.

Capiche?


(and yes, that's yet another original concept from my gigantic yet warped brain, rendered for your enjoyment with my Photoshop skills.)

Looking Off My Deck This Weekend

Pretty Yet Steep...

Mancamp Blackmail Evidence

AKA The Old Farts Drinking Beer Association...

Traveling In Internet Hell

Thus The Reason For No Recent Posting...


More later...



...It's later now, and I'm a little under the weather suddenly and I've had a long couple of days traveling and visiting with people I've known for somewhere between 29 years (an old Architect employer/friend) and some others I went to grade school thru High School back in Alabama starting about 45 years ago.

The place we're staying here in the Bent Tree Resort in the North Georgia mountains had four deer standing virtually in our front yard as we entered the driveway and we had to wait for them to wander out of the roadway in broad daylight so we could enter the driveway.

We're here to attend my first "Mancamp" (actually the fourth annual for most of the rest of the group) and they made an exception to allow me to bring Pat and little Missy the Turbo Pup as long as they had separate accommodations for the three day/two night event.

I just rented our own house for the weekend, which was no problem because the house that one of my classmates owns nearby has seven guys sleeping in a three bedroom house (read that there's people sleeping on the floor and on the sofa...etc.)

Meanwhile I have two bedrooms and three beds and two sofas for two adults and one Turbo Pup. I offered to let someone come over and use the extra bedroom but they all wanted to hang around and drink and tell lies all night...so go figure.

The vistas and views are absolutely stunning from our back deck...there's mountains and a blue colored lake. I'll take some photos and post them tomorrow after the sun rises.

I have the official Mancamp title of "Chief Creek Watcher" because during this visit I'm designing a repair support system for an existing concrete patio extending out over a beautiful mountain Stream/Creek along the back property line. The support footings have been eroded and the concrete is sagging and I'm planning on putting in a giant wooden beam and "jacking that sucker back up.

So any way, it's time for me to get a little sleep because I'm cooking a Brunch consisting of pancakes and eggs and sasausage for seven hungry men and Pat and the Turbo Pup about 10:30 tomorrow, and I'm doing two of my soon to be fameous Rogers' signature Pizzas tomorrow night.

Yall have a LOVELY weekend...

More Crap What Pisses Me Off

Charging Extra For WiFi?


I'm sorry, but I don't think that there's hardly a day that goes by these days when I somehow have to subdue the inner urge to rip the arm off of someone I meet in public and proceed to beat them to death with it...

Why?

Because they're so obsequious purple and clairvoyant annoying or just basically STUPID...judging from the behavior I've been forced to endure in the fifteen minutes or half day proceeding the removal of their limb and fatal bludgeoning.

I guess that you can just attribute it to the process of me getting old.

Which is better than the alternative I guess...

Some out there would suggest it's a textbook case of being a Mean Old White Male Caucasian Asshole (or MOWMCA...for short.)

Whatever...I didn't aspire to the condition, but I suffer from a severe case of it none the less.

Believe me, I try to be patient...

But..,

These days it seems that the only certified solution that doesn't involve legal or medical professionals is for me to just stay home most of the time and then when I have to go out to carefully plan where I go and when I get there.

Thus travel on major holidays like Memorial Day, the Fourth of July, and Labor Day are permanently on my personal "no fly list" and if it weren't for family considerations Thanksgiving and Christmas would be spent in my basement pounding on the laptop and/or watching reruns of Mike Rowe's "Dirty Jobs."

Take this week's trip to Atlanta, for instance...

I don't want to directly offend anyone with this posting, but just let me say that I've seen more stupid behavior in the process of going down there and back in the past 72 hours--mainly from people of other races than my own--than I've seen in the past TWO YEARS.

And what scares me most it that some of these people VOTE.

Let's just leave that at that...

But then again what really got me pissed off was when I arrived at my Hotel...the brand of which is part of the HILTON--as in Paris Hilton--Chain...and found out the their Internet teaser rate did not include Internet.

Isn't selling room and boarding on the Internet without including Internet access a major Oxymoron?

Want Internet?

That costs an extra $9.95 per day?

WTF?

Answer me this...

What hotel, in the middle of a major metropolitan area, in the year 2010, doesn't include "free" WiFi Internet service in their pricing?

Just like when they leave out the price of taxes and surcharges and service fees on your cell phone pricing...why not just "cut to the chase" and tell me what I'm going to PAY IN TOTAL rather than teasing me with prices I will never spend a single night paying.

Don't force the desk clerk to look me in the eye and tell me while I'm standing there with a 25 pound bag full of cameras and 17" HP 250 GB hard drive computer that they're going to make me jack around once I get to my room "logging in" and authorizing extra charges to my credit card while their stupid system locks up and reboots and re-hashes and re-regurgitates and generally just makes me crazy.

Seriously...the building was full of BUSINESS TRAVELERS.

People with two and three cell phones and I gauran-damn-tee you every single one of them had a computer attached to their hip or their forehead or their thigh and the whole concept of charging EXTRA...instead of just putting Internet service in the basic room fee, was in my considered Redneck opinion...

S T U P I D

and unethical because they charged by the day and I would have stayed at another hotel if they told me that up front, even though the law firm/insurance company that hired me is paying the bill.

It's just the "principle" I'm objecting to, something that school "Principals" apparently stopped teaching about thirty years ago

And there you have it Ladies and Gentlemen, my agreement with the theory that more money is stolen by people wearing a suit and tie than are taken each day by the ones employing crow bar and wearing a ski mask.

On The Road Again

Get Me Out Of Here....


OK...I proved I could do it again.

What, you might ask?

Spending three days and two nights in Atlanta.

I'll be back home to the Turbo Pup Compound on the Banks of the Mighty Tennessee River by dinner time tonight.

I'm ready to see my girls...

Live From Atlanta

Dead Actually...


As announced, I'm in Atlanta doing Forensic Injuneering Today--thus the lack of posting due to travel Sunday, a dinner meeting Sunday night, and the morning spent standing around with a hard hat and safety glasses looking at wierd stuff with pipes and wires hooked to it.

I'm tired, having missed my nap, so I think I'll go now and take one.

More later

Sophomore Machine Design Class Lecture At Georgia Tech

After The Fraternity Party EVERYTHING Sounded Like This...





(I forgot to mention that I'm still working on the "Rogers Turbosonic Pulse Doppler Laser Nippleometer"...a device which can measure the ambient temperature by reflecting a highly columated beam of high intensity light off of random women's breasts...)


Heh...



Thanks Rodge

While I'm Thinking About It

Picture Me Giving The Middle Finger To the IRS...


I spent the ENTIRE DAY FRIDAY, after spending parts of several other days in the past couple of months, finishing our personal and business tax returns.

The gift that keeps on giving...starting a Tennessee Corporation...and electing "Sub chapter S" Tax status...continues to make me crazy with Federal and State forms and filings and other crap in spite of the fact that...

The company operated at a nearly $6,000 deficit in 2009, and we didn't hire and directly pay any employees in the calendar year.

Yet the State of Tennessee and the Imperial Federal Government of the By God United States of 'Merica demands that I pay things like a $100 "Franchise Tax" (although I don't have a Franchise) and file forms like 940 and 941 telling them that I don't owe unemployment tax and I didn't pay wages so I don't owe FICA and FUTA taxes and so on.

If the government assholes would get the hell out of everyone's way and stop acting like we work for them as slaves and that every dollar we earn is their money until we can prove otherwise I say things would improve a lot faster in the economy...without STIMULUS PORKULUS...

That will be all...for now...

I'm A Traveling Fool

Busy Month...


OK, get this story.

I have to get to Atlanta on Sunday for an informal meeting with a client Sunday night before a Forensic Engineering investigation in a Chiller Plant Monday, then I come back home to the Turbo Pup Compound on the Banks of the Mighty Tennessee River on Tuesday.

No problem.

I've done things like that hundreds of times before.

But then hardly before I can catch my breath and lay around being a bum for a couple of days I have to turn around and head BACK to Atlanta on Thursday afternoon with Pat and the Turbo Pup so she (Pat...not the Turbo Pup) can meet with a hospital client on Friday.

And then late Friday afternoon I'll be bringing two females with me (Pat and Missy the Turbo Pup)to an event in the North Georgia Mountains with a bunch of guys I went to High School with--loosely called "MANCAMP." They're all bunking on the floor and sofas and bedrooms in one house owned by one of the attendees/sponsors, while we'll be residing in luxury in our own 2 bedroom log cabin nearby.

Then there's still the trip to Baltimore to be done in the next week or so and there's another trip to South Carolina for Pat's business...again extending over a weekend with my old College roommate, and when it's all said and done...

...I'd say that our own economy is recovering here at the Turbo Pup Compound on the Banks of the Mighty Tennessee River...

in SPITE of the government (which caused me to work all day yesterday finishing TAX FORMS instead of blogging.)

E*Trade Baby Out-takes

I Actually Use TD Ameritrade...But They're Still Cute




Heh...

I'm Ready To Do Stuff Like This

Except They'd End Up Locking ME Up...


For reference purposes, I keep a copy of the Declaration of Independence, the US Constitution, and the Bill of Rights on my desk in my office. I also have a machine sewn 9' wide American Flag hanging on the wall across from my desk that I look at most of each and every day.

If I had the time and money I'd go back to college and get a degree in US History, except for the fear that I'd end up killing half of my classmates and 99% of my professors in a fit of liberal revisionist homo hetero negro African American commie pinko socialist historical progressive hating rage.

Thus I celebrate guys like this taking the lead in my absence at "town hall" meetings...





All I can say is "Amen"...Brother...people in government are at best uninformed, and in many cases shear IDIOTS...

My Turbo Pup Wants One Of These

Modern Canine Technology




Heh...

Back In The Saddle Atlanta Again

More Broken Stuff...


I've been running around the Turbo Pup Compound this week trying to clean up a bunch of details because I'm heading back down to Atlanta this weekend on another Forensic Injuneering adventure next week.

As my friends and long time readers know, I have somewhat of a love/hate relationship with the city of Atlanta and the "Atlanta Metropolitan Area", having lived there for 24 years beginning in 1977 while attending Georgia Tech and moving north to Smyrna and Marietta and Vinings.

I got to see the little big city go from 1.4 million people up to over 4 million in population, and in the process become something culturally and socially and politically beyond the scope of which I want to deal with on a daily basis.

I moved to Florida and then on to an Island on the Georgia Coast...and now I live here in Tennessee on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River in order to get away from the traffic and noise and confusion associated with the town I at first loved and ended up hating.

But next Monday morning about 10 AM I'll be standing in a boiler room looking at something that broke--and fortunately didn't kill anyone--and possibly visit with a few old friends Sunday and Monday night in the process.

I can hardly wait to get there...and at the same time I can hardly wait to get back home...

The Things Going On In My Basement

When I Don't Have Time To Make My Own Drink


I'm building one of these...




Four valve rebuilds in process...with eight more arriving today, so I have little time to write....Y'all have a LOVELY day...if you will...

(thanks for the link Rodg)

The First Day Of The Rest Of My Life

Remembering Not To Forget...


On this morning on the calendar in 2001 I was waking up in a motel room homeless, with virtually everything I owned either chared black, else sitting within the four walls of that rented space or contained inside the confides of my old Chevy Suburban.

Turns out I still had a Weber Kettle Grill and my old Nissan Maxima were still intact, but everything else looked like this:













The old 1966 house wasn't fancy, but I owned it (stole it for next to nothing out of an estate foreclosure when I needed a place to stay while getting divorced...I know...too much information)

Hey...don't laugh at it...that house had a $4,000 surround sound stereo TV media room in the basement den...you got to have your priorities straight...

I was nearly finished renovating it--new roof, new soffits & fascia and exterior paint, and if it wasn't brick on four sides it would have collapsed because the kitchen and master bedroom crashed into the basement after they put the fire out.

My personal and professional life was about in similar conditions, and so today you can understand why I feel like a good deal of healing has taken place since then--especially when I don't even remember to write about the event until the day after it occurred nine years later.

There's some people out there that still won't speak to me because of things that happened when my spirit was also descending into the depths and catching on fire like my house, but all I can do is say "I'm sorry" and keep on moving forward...

things are just as positive now as they were negative then, and I'm dang sure happy to still be here "after the fire."

On The Seventh Day He Rested He Rented A Lawn Tiller

Beat To Death By A Gasoline Engine...


So I know it's sacrilegious (or possibly semi-sacrilegious)to do yard work on Sunday, but at the risk of earning myself a lightning bolt on Easter Sunday afternoon I got off my butt and went up to Home Depot and brought home a medium sized lawn tiller.

I couldn't stand waiting any longer and with the weather forecast changing from rain on Saturday and Tuesday to sunny and mid eighty's through the rest of the week I felt like I had to get the garden and tomato plots tilled up before the ground set up like concrete.

Since it was 2 PM on Sunday afternoon Home Depot has a policy of letting you keep their rental tools until 9 AM the next morning for the half day rate.

Yeah...RIGHT...after only TWO hours of hanging on to the infernal machine I had everything I deemed reasonable busted up and I loaded that sucker back up in the car and tossed it back in the front door of the store and ran as fast as I could in the other direction.

It basically whipped my butt in the process, but working in ten or fifteen minute torture sessions I was able to get a 36' x 10' area and two 8' x 12' areas dug up about 8" deep.

My hand's and forearms have had it, and if 8" isn't deep enough according to the experts, let the experts come over and bring their tiller and they can have at it.

So any way, it's still a little risky to plant certain crops here at the Turbo Pup Compound now because we still have a couple of weeks of frost possible, but I'm tossing a couple of store bought tomato plants into the ground any way and sewing some carrots around their bases for ground cover.

Meanwhile down in the basement I have a bunch of tomato and pepper seeds already germinating and I'm planting some more Herb seeds like Mint in egg cartons that don't have to be out until May today.

I guess it's time now to take a couple more Tylenol and go lay back down on the heating pad.

Y'all have a LOVELY week now...

A Muppet Easter Bunny?

"Don't Stand By Me"





Heh...

Easter

I'm Taking The Day Off...


I hope everyone has a chance to go to church today if they want, visit with family, watch the kids chase around looking for eggs and stuff, and generally take pause to remember all of the people in all of the places in the world who are afraid to practice their religion in public and end the day just happy to have not had a bomb blow up in their front yard or a bullet pass through their bedroom wall.

I know I'm glad to live here, in spite of the idiots in Washington DC, rather than in Europe or Ethiopia or Iran/Iraq.

Little Kids in Afghanistan wouldn't know what to do if their only worry in life was waking up this morning and finding a basket with fake green grass full of colored eggs and candy.

It's too bad so many Godless people here hate the country we've spent over 200 years building...somehow feeling guilty because we've worked hard and have it so good...and do everything they can to tear us down and make us equal to France and England and even Russia.

But since it's Easter I'm going to stop writing now (because I'm probably by and large preaching to the choir) and go back to my first paragraph...

Hope you have a Happy Easter...

Feeding The Masses

Thinking About How Today's Government Would Have Shut Jesus Down...


You do understand that, in spite of not having ADD or ADHD, I wander around all day thinking about a whole bunch of different stuff.

Sometimes I think I should carry a tape recorder because for every good blog I write-other than just diary stuff like "I cooked" or "I'm mad" or "I'm tired" or "I'm busy", I come up with another half dozen good ideas which I promptly forget or otherwise can't remember by the time I wander back in front of the computer.

Seriously, it's gotten to where I actually think in blogger/editorial form.

Something will happen to me or around me or otherwise pop into my mind, and I can outline the subject and think to myself what a great posting it would be and then WHAM something else distracts me and I can't get to the Keyboard before the idea is gone out of my every greying, ever balding head.

And yes...I do actually manage to spend some time away from my computers...I could walk away right now and spend a couple of hours couple of minutes enough seconds to run to the restroom...

Really...

I can...

I CAN...

OK...Just this one time I'll stay here in front of the Keyboard...

BUT I REALLY CAN LIVE FOR A WHOLE DAY WITHOUT LOOKING AT A COMPUTER IF I WANTED TO.

(taking a big breath here Boss...)

So any way, for some reason--probably because yesterday was Good Friday and Sunday is Easter--I was thinking about stuff and while cooking I was thinking about the story of the Loaves and Fishes.

You know...the one told in Matthew 14, verses 13 through 21?

You can get out your bible like I did and read it, or here on the blog I'll just use this good summary from Wikipedia:

According to the Gospels, when Jesus heard that John the Baptist had been killed, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place near Bethsaida.[3]

The crowds followed Jesus on foot from the towns.

When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick. As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, "This is a remote place, and it's already getting late.

Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food."

Jesus replied, "They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat."

"We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish," they answered.

"Bring them here to me," he said.

Jesus directed the people to sit down on the grass.

Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over.

The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children.


That's a pretty interesting story, and there is a good deal of speculation as to the exact meaning of the message if you read stuff written by the "biblical scholars," but taking it literally, can you imagine what would happen if Jesus was wandering around here in the United By God States of 'Merica today?

First of all, the local Police Department would probably have arrested him or at least forced the crowd to leave before he was able to perform his miracle because they didn't have a permit for the gathering.

But IF he had the foresight to try to get the disciples to run down and fill out an application and pay the fee, the Zoning Department would most likely have refused to issue a permit because the area was designated D4-Desert and Arid Tundra Areas.

And IF he had managed to get a permit, he'd have had to supply off duty police officers for security and had a bunch of porta-johns delivered to the venue, and issue permits to the street vendors selling the "WWJD" t-shirts and so on...

And then IF the Health Department found out he was serving dinner, they would have come out, made an inspection, and they WOULD HAVE SHUT THE WHOLE THING DOWN...

because the area didn't have potable water, and the kitchen employees didn't have hot water and hand sanitizer to wash their hands when returning from the porta-johns, and they didn't have an OSHA/ASHRAE/ASME approved vent hood system in the kitchen.

(TAKING ANOTHER BIG BREATH HERE...)

You see, ladies and gentlemen, if it were up to our government and the idiots running most of it, the events which are described to have taken place in Matthew 14:13-21 would have never happened.

In fact, in my opinion a good deal of the stuff which happened in the Bible is against the law today.

Water into Wine?

The Federal and State "Revenuers" would come out...Prohibition Style...and arrest him on the spot for illegally making an intoxicating beverage without a license and paying the taxes thereon.

Moses and the Burning Bush?

He would have had to have a burn permit else face a fine.

Parting the Red Sea?

Required by a Federal District Court Judge to have a three year environmental impact study, then PETA and Greenpeace would file endless court protests and the Egyptians would have had free mud bricks and servants today.

Ten Commandments on a Stone Tablet?

Two words...MINING PERMIT ( and see "parting the Sea" above about impact studies and lawsuits...)

Adam and Eve...naked in public.

Just fine in San Francisco, broadcast live on U-Tube, but a little risky here in Eastern Tennessee.

As you can see, I could go on and on and on (Delila cutting hair without a License/permit)and feel free to make up your own examples if you want.

And please understand that I'm not making fun of the bible and the value of the stories it tells and religious beliefs it supports, I'm just pointing out, tongue in cheek, how far things have slid in the past 2010 years in our lives and our freedoms and government.

The Romans and Egyptians and Persians had nothing in their program of oppression and slavery compared to your local city hall and state capital and the likes of Obamarama and Reid and Pelosi...

It seems to me that the honest, hard working, God fearing Conservative Americans today have been delivered like the Israelites into the hands of the Philistines, and that's just a sad state of affairs.

By the way...in a biblical sense...it occurred to me while writing this posting...

2000 years ago, wouldn't it be a "Porta-John the Baptist"?


Heh...

The Mixer Meets It's MatchProduct

Loaves and Fishes...


Here's a look at "Loaf #1" talking things out with it's maker...

Loaf #2 is still in the oven basking at 350 degrees F.

Here's another view of the Tsoureki Loaf with a Dyed Egg in the middle.



By the way, that is in fact a dyed boiled egg in the middle there (along with other experimental eggs there in the bowl in the back.

You can go here and learn how to use water and vinegar and of all things...yellow onion skins...to make a red dye to color eggs. (I'd somehow missed that process in the past 50 years.)

What looks like Brown Eggs is actually some I took out of the dye when I got impatient...but I got several darker ones by letting things sit for a couple of hours after I took them off the stove.

Now it's time to go pull the second loaf out of the oven, let it cool a little, and deliver it to Papa George...

Regards Y'all

Making Baking Bread

I'm Afraid Of My Mixer...


So three or four years ago I decided that I wanted to add a stand mixer to my arsenal my list of kitchen tools.

Since I make pizza about three times every two weeks, it sounded like a good idea at the time.

Then you know me...I couldn't settle for just "any" stand mixer, I wanted something that bolted to the kitchen cabinet or stood in the floor and made the windows rattle when I turned it on and started mixing something.

Something like this 60 quart model would do nicely, don't you think???

Then upon further consideration, realizing that my kitchen was basically 12 feet x 14 feet, I realized that, since I generally only make one or two pizzas at a time, that unless I wanted to have to wheel the monstrosity out into the carport when we had company or when I actually wanted to COOK something...that I should downsize my aspirations and get something a little more portable.

Then I started looking at the KitchenAid mixers which are in every store except possibly AutoZone and the local Men's Big/Tall Shop, but I wasn't satisfied with the speed selections and the fact that the bowl just sat there on the base and could start spinning around while unattended and fly off into space or something.

Finally I found out about the larger capacity KitchenAid Professional 6 quart model...



(except mine's gunmetal grey...remember it's part of my "arsenal" by default...)

which has more motor horsepower and additional speeds, but more importantly it had a lift stand base that allowed me to lock the mixing bowl onto the unit so when I come back from the basement or restroom after ten minutes my dough is still inside the kitchen rather than sitting out in the back yard with the Robins and Nuthatches pecking at it.

I ordered it on sale, online, with free shipping, and when it arrived and I busted it out of the cardboard and Styrofoam and tossed it up on the counter top, and I'm sorry to report that I've only used it once or twice since.

Why, you might ask?

Because it's too large to only make dough for one pizza!

When I dump 2-1/2 cups of flour and a cup of water and a pack of yeast and some salt and white pepper into the bowl and turn it on, the paddle or dough hook barely touches the mixture.

I think that my mixer laughed and taunted me and said "that's all you got" in "Mixer-ese"

Then I had the brilliant idea to take it off the stand and stir things up by hand, and then remount the bowl on the mixer. When I turned the motor back on the dough hook grabbed my little blob of dough and proceeded to make it slowly crawl up to the top of the hook and ride around in circles like some kind of silly kitchen amusement park ride.

I know that when I use yeast I'm basically "fermenting" my dough...so I might get "drunken" dough in the process, but spinning my dough around getting it "drunken"???

So any way, in a few minutes when my milk finishes "scalding" and my butter finishes melting, I'm going to make another try at using what has been a giant paperweight for the past two years in my kitchen.

I'm tossing together about 6 cups of flour and 6 eggs and a bunch of other stuff and trying to make three or four loaves of Greek Easter Bread.

I'll try to avoid having to repaint the walls or buy new flooring or replace my counter top, or wash flour off of the Turbo Pup in the process.

Wish me luck...if you will...

(And I'm REAL glad I didn't buy that 60 quart model else I'd probably need counseling)

APRIL FOOL DAY

Couldn't I Be Considered A Fool Almost Every Day???


Yes...locking up my blog until noon today was my weird Blogger "April Fools" joke for 2010.

Hope you enjoyed it...if you stopped by before noon.

I haven't had time to write anything until now this morning because I've been up working since about 4 AM trying to catch up from my lethargy exhibited earlier in the week.

Yesterday I ended up wallowing in the bed with the newspaper listening to Neal Boortz until about 11 AM and then after a couple of hours working in the yard I dedicated a couple more hours to sitting in the sun on my deck smoking a cigar...getting a little pink on my cheeks (the upper ones, not the lower ones), and enjoying the sound and smell of weed eaters and leaf blowers.

Then early this morning I started feeling guilty and spun into a whirlwind of wearing out my uncallosed hands and fingers cranking on socket head cap screws and risking cancer breathing mineral spirits fumes cleaning parts and putting everything back together.

Later today after washing the grease and lawn chemicals from my hands I'm baking a couple of loaves of Tsoureki...a sweat "Greek Easter Bread" for the Family of a friend here in Knoxtown who's dealing with bringing his dad home from the hospital after his first Chemo treatment last weekend.

Harry's become a good friend and business associate in the past six months and with his old line Greek roots (they have a house here and one in Greece) it's been fun talking about Greek food in between technical conversations.

Any way, his mother has her hand's full taking care of Dad and since I was already going to try my hand at baking the stuff before I found about the illness I figure I'll just double the recipe and drop by tomorrow morning and deliver some.

Time to go package things up in bubble wrap and cardboard and spread some fertilizer...

Y'all have a LOVELY day...If you will...

Sunshine 1...Taxes 0

Summer-like Weather Has Me Mentally Paralyzed...


Well, I looked at my taxes for a minute this morning.

That is, if you can call walking past the stack of files sitting ominously on the Dining Room table as "looking at."

I had to move them out of my office last weekend because I kept piling other stuff up on top of them and sorting them around accidentally and then after losing one or two of them spending a half hour panicking.

I did manage to open up all eight of the giant pneumatic valves in the new batch and didn't find anything surprising, so I'm promising myself I'll buckle down and get four of them torn down, soaked in solvent, rinsed off, and put back together with new o-rings and seals and out of the building tomorrow, BUT...

right now it's time go sit on the deck in the sun with the Turbo Pup and smoke a cigar and yell at make faces at the guy with the leaf blower.

My Lawn As An Excuse?

Anything To Avoid Finishing My Taxes...


I have to finish three tax returns this week...two personal and one Business.

The company's return was pretty much done last month and just needs a final check, and Pat's is done and just needs a final check and signature...not including the small check we'll put in the mail to the IRS.

Mine, unfortunately, is about fifteen pages long and I don't like the answer I got as to the amount I owe--not enough for a penalty/interest situation-- but after doing some more reading I think that I've found some more stuff which with a little creative accounting...wink...wink...could lower the tax bill if I'll take the time to sort through the receipts and document it properly.

Did I mention how much I hate tax forms, tax form instructions, and the IRS in general? Just wait until they start coming to the hospital to check and make sure you have the right government mandated insurance.

Meanwhile, it's supposed to be near 80 degrees F here at the Turbo Pup Compound on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River for the next three or four days, and with the recent rains and warmer weather my lawn, weeds and all, is growing like crazy.

In a fit of well intended lawn improvement shopping last weekend I bought fertilizer and a giant bag of grass seed to do some over seeding and try to crowd the wild onions and clover and Dandelions out of the way.

Our yard guys lawn maintenance technicians have promised to come by and assault my ears with a weed eater and blow grass clippings all over my cars and carport give everything a fresh going over and haul off another giant pile of tree limbs and shrubbery prunings which are green and/or I'm just too lazy to burn.

That's pretty dang lazy when a guy is too lazy to stand in his yard with a beer and watch a fire burn, isn't it?

Sorta like being too drunk to FISH, I guess...

So any way, I have to try to get the minimum done in the yard while at the same time getting the taxes out the door because I'm supposed to be out of town visiting a client next week and I don't want to make taxes a last minute fire drill this year.

If I start now doing the final filings certainly in 15 days I can get things out the door and into the mailbox.

OK...maybe not...because I also have to rebuild 12 more pneumatic valves which will take a couple of days at least, depending on what I find when I get inside them.

It's nice being busy again and making more money than I spend every month after bumbling and stumbling around with sporadic Consulting Forensic Injuneering work every month or so.

But it's hard to teach an old dog old Pirate new tricks, so I guess I'll go lay back down and read the newspaper and take a nap...

Regards Y'all.

Capitolism With A Kapitol "K" Capitol "C"

The Ground's Shaking Under My Feet...


Man did I ever have a GREAT day on Monday.

The phone was ringing and I was wheeling and dealing and stuff went out the door at the end of the day with invoices attached.

Politicians just levy taxes when they need money, but I was doing what is historically known as conducting "Business."

Those that know me in real life know that I suffered a catastrophic business blow out in the late 1990's and pretty much mentally parked my ship in the harbor for a few years and elected to do nothing all day.

That is, if you don't count fishing or sitting in a bar bending my elbow or possibly eating and/or cooking.

I was burned out and angry that nine years of hard effort had been wiped out when a couple of my customers decided to go out of business and in the process take me with them by not paying their bills.

For most of the subsequent ten years I pretty much swore out loud that there was no amount of money or circumstance that would cause me to ever again be responsible for turning off and on the lights and handling payroll and shipping and receiving for anything with my name on it.

If you've read this blog for a while, you'll remember that from time to time I did, like this guy...



...consider a number of other employment opportunities including newspaper writer (I actually had an interview), line chef in a four star restaurant (interviewed for that too), and then like Jethro the Brain Surgeon and Fry Cook opportunities which never came along for some reason.

Then slowly but surely things changed in the last year or so, and the old fires re-ignited, and through a convoluted series of events and circumstances today finds me again living life as President of a Corporation--currently with only two employees--but looking at what I believe could be a pretty interesting future here as we go into the second quarter of 2010 at the Turbo Pup Compound on the Banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.

If the damn Democrats and the "across the isle reaching" Republicans would get out of the way and stop stimulating themselves and their constituents with other people's money I believe that the business world could actually develop a good head of steam and put some people back to work in spite of their idiotic efforts in the next year.

My new little company has already "injected" over ten thousand dollars back into the economy, not to mention me and my associate spending almost 1000 hours into the development and production of new custom products and most recently in a totally new rebuild process for a component used on a bunch of multi-million dollar machines both here in the US and in Europe and Asia...something which could be our ticket to not only our survival as a company but some amazing success in the near term.

With the latest PLC panel in route to our New England client and now weekly shipments of rebuilt valves into and out of our impromptu basement "loading dock," and with finally receiving payments and having an at least break even funding situation we're poised to launch into a limited national marketing effort for our products and services.

Of course I, being a professional pirate and beach bum and blogger, still intend to keep a generous portion of my calendar open to the prospect of doing absolutely nothing all day, but when the opportunity presents itself and I feel like getting off my butt and making someone want to give me their money to do something productive, I'll certainly read the fine print and further entertain their offer.

The main thing I've learned a couple of times (which means I didn't really learn it the first time,) is that you have to have enough spare time in life to enjoy the money you're making when you time is not "spare." If you can never leave the office you tend to burn out and burn up your brain and then things get ugly...

I reference 1998 and 1999 in my life as an example.

Maturity and discipline are one thing, but being a slave driver to anyone including myself has long ago been crossed off of my To-Do list.

I'm truly blessed to still be here physically and mentally after the crap I've been through in the past 50 years, and as we go into this Easter week I can't help but want to thank my family and friends for their endurance of my weaknesses and their support in my efforts, and of course the Man upstairs and his Son Jesus Christ who gave all of us our frailties and delivered us from same.

Late Night TV Shopping

I'm Retiring From Working And Blogging Once UPS Gets Here...


I'm excited to report that I made the first of three "three easy payments" tonight...on four different products...for somewhere between $19.99 and $39.99 each.

First I got myself into "Winning in the Cashflow Business" and I'm sitting here on the phone waiting for all of the people out there holding all the underutilized "cash flow notes" to give me a ring.

I'm also busy planning on spending most of this week standing by the mailbox when the phone is not ringing waiting for my checks to arrive.

Then, in anticipation of collecting my first half million dollars in cold hard cash, I bought myself a membership in two hair replacement systems, ordered my free samples of Extenz, and in a last minute fit of vanity I bought the Luminess Air "airbrush" makeup system to make my buttocks and nose look good after I move down to the nudist colony sporting a six foot long penis.

(I'm also seriously thinking of Botoxing my Buttocks...but I have to wait for the "cash flow system" money to come in first)

Is there anyone out there but me that doesn't understand why almost everything sold on TV after about 3 or 4 AM is called a "system?"

There must be some kind of state or federal law or something...or maybe the United Nations has a rule that stupid people only have their money legally stolen from them over the airwaves in return for buying something with the word "System" in the name.

Let me know if you find out because it worries me a great deal, but meanwhile I've got to go now and place an order for "Your Baby Can Read" because I anticipate needing that "system" shortly after the ladies get a look at my new airbrushed, hair covered head and erection lasting longer than four hours.

(Just in case you mis-understand, this late night TV marketing crap makes me crazy when I see it for five seconds let alone five minutes, and I think Comcast should just show me this...

instead of making me endure flipping past the insanity on over half of the channels I'm paying for. Just like junk mail, I think 99.99% of it deserves to go in the garbage unopened.)

While I'm at it, the same goes for Home Shopping Networks.

Dang I'm cranky...time for a nap I guess...

Brunch, Anyone?

Here...do this...


I'm still feeling a little lethargic today--mentally and physically.

Our brunch on this rainy, lazy morning here on the Banks of the Mighty Tennessee River consisted of scratch made Crepes I tossed together in an unexpected fit of cooking energy.

I make a really good crepe after about a decade of practice....it's not hard really.

Two kinds of crepes actually, and in support of my efforts I have a giant electric griddle which allows me to cook three or four crepes at one time in just a couple of minutes. If I'm cooking for a larger group it even has a warming tray underneath which keeps things ready to go while you produce even a dozen thin little pancakes.

Now I figure that a lot of people are saying to themselves..."Of all things...Virgil..."

CREPES?

Not PANCAKES?

Crepes?

I know...I Know...I KNOW...

You're thinking, like I used to, that somewhere out there it is implyed that "Real Men" don't eat Crepes.

sigh...

You're right, I've heard that too...BUT...

No matter, my answer to that comment is to quote the words of comic Steve Martin...

"Well excuuuuuusssssss Me..."

And all that said, I'm here to tell you that this former "real man" which is today either "less real" or "more real"... depending on your perspective...not only enjoys EATing Crepes, but I have more than a couple of pretty good ideas about the how's and when's and why's gained from my personal experience with cooking Crepes.

For instance, here's what happened at the Turbo Pup Compound this morning.

First of all the crepe batter is easy...I use this when cooking breakfast for two:

1 cup flour
2 eggs, beaten
dash of salt
teaspoon sugar
1 cup milk
(dash of vanilla if you want and are only using sweet fillings/toppings)

Basically you put all of the dry ingredients into a bowl, add the wet ingredients, and then whisk or beat the mixture together until smooth...I use a hand mixer with a whisk attachment.

For smooth uniform crepes you need to make up your batter mixture and then let it rest in the refrigerator for a half hour or so to allow the air bubbles to come out so you get a good consistency with your cooked crepes.

Then the filling can be almost anything you want, but I usually make mine from a combination of ham and asparagus with slices of cream cheese, then I make up some Knorr Holandaise sauce and toss it on top on the plate after baking the finished crepes for 20 minutes or so in the oven .

Google the details because it's easy and everybody does it basically the same.

Then the other thing which goes good for breakfast is to make some sort of sweet crepe to go with your savory crepes.

Again, using the basic crepe as a wrapper around some slices of cream cheese, this morning I put together a mixture of sliced fresh strawberries and canned pineapple. You dump the pineapple juice into a skillet with the berries and pineapple chunks, saute everything for a few minutes with a quarter stick of butter (and I'm sorry...some BACON grease...don't tell my cardiologist...), then add a tablespoon of sugar, a tablespoon of honey, and a teaspoon of good Balsamic Vinegar to the mixture and cook it down until it thickens like you like it.

Pull the hot baked crepe/cream cheese roll out of the oven and spoon your fruit topping up on top, shake a little powdered sugar over everything if you want, and EAT.

I felt like I'd been somewhere for breakfast when it was all said and done, except there was a sink load of dishes somebody had to do.

Time to start thinking about cooking my soon to be famous "Rustic Greek Pasta" for dinner now...

Feel free to stop by about 7 PM if you happen to be in the neighborhood.

Mental Day Off

Excelling At Doing Not Much Of Anything...


Just in case you didn't notice, I'm pretty sure that I didn't write two dozen words yesterday.

I hardly read any (words) yesterday either, unless you count things like "Stop" and "Go", and "Men's" and Women's" and stuff like that. Single words...or just a few words standing alone all by themselves..phrases shorter than the 26 letters of the alphabet.

(trivial factoid of the day...my name has 26 letters and or spaces in it if you count the comma before III, thereby making it virtually impossible to fill in the blanks on most government forms when they demand that they tell you your "full name.")

Wait a minute...I did go shopping Saturday and had to go through the checkout at the dry cleaners and Home Depot and Kroger and also signed a couple of receipts for lunch and dinner along the way.

Any hoooo....The most significant thing I've learned through the years in "attempting" to develop some skills as a writer is that when it comes to "creative" writing, you can't force it.

Wait...OK...let me modify that theory while the ink is still wet.

You CAN force it, but the results most of the time will allow the stress and strain found in the process to slowly, insidiously ooze out onto your paper or computer screen, and your reader will detect the mental conflict and/or the lack of any real underlying substance in the manuscript and reject it out of hand go find something better to do with their time.

Here in the blog universe, I say that you can see that there's a lot of that (people writing with nothing to write about) going on at any given time, and it's even worse on places like Twitter and Facebook.

I don't consider writing the words "Getting dressed and going outside" or "believe I'll change my underwear and put on clean socks" worth blogging about, but you'll find stuff like that written all the time on Facebook.

And see how I was able to issue both statements here and get away with writing them because I have a larger point to make other than just blithering about freshly laundered underwear and socks?

It's all in the context of the discussion I guess, and making subjects like personal hygiene interesting to total strangers is an art form which escapes most everyone but Martha Stewart or your mother (or possibly your personal physician.)

And now I've attempted it ("it" being trying to make underwear and socks interesting.)

Hah...I got cha...now I've got to stop fooling around on the computer, since I really have nothing to say, and go put on clean socks and underwear and get into the shop and get some work done.

Talk to y'all later...hopefully...