Hey Bill Gates...

Pay Me For My Time?


Well, here I am this morning, looking at the calendar, and reminiscing about being on about day 1001 of my love hate relationship roller coaster ride from hell living with Windows Vista on my Server.

Looking back to November 2007, there I was, with a pocket full of cash some semi-surplus funds in our checking account, looking pretty much like this guy:

when I wandered over to the Hewlett Packard website a couple of times and was finally seduced into purchasing a new "custom built" server PC with all of the bells and whistles and whirly-gigs I wanted to handle our personal and business needs for the foreseeable future...

...except...

HP had sold their soul to the devil knuckled under to Gates/Microsoft and ten days later I had a living breathing spastic metal box running...

"Windows Vista Home Premium Edition."

D A M M I T.

So now for the past nearly three years I've felt like this gentleman:




...and in spite of my best efforts and consultations with people like this young fellow:



and this guy:



and this dude:



and even this man:



...this morning after great effort and expense it seems I will have to live with the realization that I still can't shake the curse of Windows Vista.

Worst of all, just like the "Borg" on Star Trek Next Generation, me and my computer have apparently been assimilated into some sinister Microsoft Network, because I even VOLUNTARILY RE-INSTALLED VISTA last week because I couldn't get Windows 2000 XP Professional to work on the intentionally designed and corrupted machine.

And so now this morning, after doing extensive file restorations and back-up, I'm now forced to sit in my shop in my basement on my old reliable HP 17" wide screen laptop (running Windows 2000 XP Professional Media Center Edition by the way) doing my news reading and blogging because the "Server PC" is busy installing "Service Pack 1" and whatever other crap Microsoft wants to force me to download to correct the screwed up software they sold me in 2007.

And of course I'm inundated with ads trying to get me to "upgrade" to the latest and greatest product--"Windows 7"...

...a product named "Windows 7" because everyone with any sense knows that "Vista II" or "Vista 2" would have sold like a new version of the Chevy Corvair or the Ford Edsel.

So any way...I love being an American, I love growing up free until about 20 years ago, but right now I hate the state of our economy and the idiots running Adams and Jefferson's and Franklin's government and the way things are going in the computer department around here I might just buy a Macintosh in 2011.

I have to go now and soak my head in ice water before it explodes...

...and Y'all have a LOVELY day now...if you will...

Hey...YOU There...

GET BACK TO WORK!


I know, I know I KNOW...

it's a sad day because the 90% of working Americans which actually have a job have to go back to work today.

And of course all of the kids have to go back to school (parents taking a collective sigh of relief.)

And the Summer weather is rapidly changing to fall and the Turbo Pup pool will soon be too cold to use--probably within the next two weeks.

But the seasons are changin' and I've already got leaves falling out in the yard and I guess that I'm looking forward to the cooler weather and the fall colors coming back.

We're planning a trip to the beach down on the Gulf coast in the middle of this month in order to prolong my suntan just a little longer, then I guess I'll buckle down and try to get some real work done and do some end of the year planning professionally.

Y'all have a lovely week...

"Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night"

...Knowledgable Words On Getting Old...


Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

--Dylan Thomas (October 27, 1914 – November 9, 1953)



(doing the math...Mr. Thomas was only 39 when he went into "That Good Night")

Hurricane Near-Miss Elicits Whimpering

There's Still Hope For A Politically Convenient Disaster...


I've set back this week and watched with some humor the reaction of the national lamestream media and the sniveling, booger eating, tye died, patchouli stinking tree hugger eco friendly greenie weenies to this season's first real Hurricane...Earl.

These Man-made Global Warming zombies appear to me to be morbidly gleeful with the approach of this first real storm on the Atlantic Seaboard.

It's understandable that NBC's "The Weather Channel's staff is finally happy to put on a colorful raincoat and hold their hat while standing around broadcasting live on location on the Outer Banks of NC, but even FOX News can't resist sitting around offering near non-stop wild eyed coverage of what is going to end up being pretty much a non-event in spite of their best efforts.

Of course, as is usual, I feel that I can genuinely comment with this type of disdain and contempt for this current generation of government educated idiots' hysteria every time a blip forms on the radar and satellite picture...

because me and my family have been living with the effects--potential and actual--of hurricanes for the past 170 years as residents of the near gulf coast region of southern Alabama.

Long before there was anything like "The Weather Channel" and NASA's and NOAA's Weather Satellites, we were pounded every five or ten years with storms with virtually no warning, and without the demands or expectations of FEMA assistance.

Further, in my lifetime spanning 51 years as of today, my immediate family has been pounded with a half dozen storms with names like Eloise and Opal. And I, personally, have spent a half dozen years living within a mile of the coastline in Mexico Beach, Florida and on the Georgia Coast.

I absolutely for the life of me cannot understand the current mentality of the media, politicians, and general public over something which has been going on since Noah built the first wooden cruise ship and loaded it full of animals.

The only explanation I can give is that people have been raised, conditioned, and educated over the past twenty or thirty years to believe that they should be allowed to build a house--vacation or otherwise--and then under the umbrella of Federally subsidized flood insurance and political gifts like FEMA emergency housing and Debit Cards expect to be left unharmed and made whole when the inevitable happens...as it probably will several times again this season and again every year from now until long after the North Koreans and Iranians have blown up the civilized world.

Does anyone but me not understand that until the Johnson/Nixon congress passage of the National Federal flood Insurance program in 1968 THERE WAS NO INSURANCE AGAINST FLOODING?

Until then, if you wanted a house on a beach or sand dune or island, you had to be able to not only pay CASH for the structure, but then if it blew or washed away every five or ten years you had to be prepared to pay CASH again to rebuild it else enjoy your water front property sitting in a tent swatting mosquitoes and sand gnats and roasting weenies on a campfire.

Let's call government flood insurance what it is...

a taxpayer funded incentive for stupid, ill advised behavior.

I'm too lazy to Google the details right now, but I'm pretty sure that there are at LEAST four or five times as many people living on the Atlantic and Gulf Coasts of the US today than there were in 1968.

Why?

Because people want to enjoy the benefits and glamor of living there, and today they only can afford to live the lifestyle because the Federal Government is subsidizing their poor personal decisions on the backs of everyone else that lives away from the reach of Hurricanes in Atlanta and Chicago and North Dakota.

Don't get me wrong, I've also taken advantage of flood insurance when I could so I guess I'm a bit of a hypocrite by writing this rant, but still...

I WISH THAT THEY WOULD GIVE IT A REST ALREADY and focus the news on things which really matter and even then do accurate and fair reporting on the lunacy happening in every State Capitol building and in Washington DC.

You know?

"ID Hell"

Dealing With the Government and Government Employees...


"Joy, Joy, Please Lord keep me from killing someone..."

My prescription "Drivers License/Government ID" which currently allows me to do things like cash a check or get on a commercial air liner under the auspices of the FAA and the so-called Homeland Security Administration's expert airport "security screeners" expires on my birthday.

That would be...

T O M O R R O W.

So this morning about 6:30 AM I'm heading over to the local Department of Motor Vehicles office to stand in line in anticipation of their opening at 7 AM, and hopefully I'll be home sometime between then and next Thursday.

Isn't it amazing that people will hand over important tasks to the state and federal government--things like retirement and medical benefits--to a group of people which can not design an infrastructure to handle a known quantity of "customers" and simply take their money?

When they have a MONOPOLY on providing the services which they are supposed to provide?

I mean...it's not like I can drive down the road the other direction and come home with a drivers license from Lowes or Home Depot or possibly Kroger...you know?

The local Rooms To Go Store doesn't have a special selling a sofa and love seat with two end tables and a coffee table with a free government recognized identification card thrown in...all purchased under a contract with "six months same as cash" terms.

So I have to go now and shave and shower and practice biting my tongue so I can come home without a felony charge of ripping someone's arm off and beating them to death with it...either some idiot standing in line with me or one of the insolent government employees I expect to encounter in the next four hours.

Regards Y'all...

Drainin' The Swamp

Cooking Gator Tail...


Well, I have Good News...and I have Bad News...

(and of course there is also just the usual blogger type blitherings)

First of all, the GOOD NEWS is that I have a fairly reasonable semblance of a functioning computer back in our Server PC position here at the Turbo Pup Compound on the Banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.

It took probably twelve or fifteen hours to accomplish over the past week and one-half, but still...

The BAD NEWS is I'm still stuck using Windows Vista as my operating system because of the scheme or schemes of collusion or contempt shown to computer users by companies like Hewlett Packard and Microsoft.

The way things work as I understand it is that Microsoft, in their efforts to continue to earn record shattering profits every single year, maintains a program of forcing computer users to buy whatever product it is that they want to sell at any given time on the calendar.

To that end, they force users that know better--people like me which have been dealing with Microsoft since the inception of DOS 1.0...

People like me that know that all Microsoft products have been flawed...intentionally or unintentionally..through the ages since the early 1980's...

People like me that know that virtually the minute you turn on a computer and boot any given Microsoft operating system the people out at Microsoft in Washington State are planning on making you download an X.1 or X.2 version of the program while at the same time ultimately planning on SELLING you yet another and Another and ANOTHER properly working version of the product which they already sold you a year or so earlier...

So any way, in late 2007 when I ordered what I call our "Server PC" from HP and had it built, the only operating system available at the time was an incarnation of Windows Vista.

"But What if I want Windows XP Professional..."

"No...its Windows Vista or nothing...you'll have to go buy some stupid crappy computer from the local computer shop smelling of exotic incense...staffed by people wearing strange clothing with red dots on their foreheads..."

So I took a big breath and bought the HP computer I wanted and closed my eyes as I clicked the little button that said "OS Windows Vista Home Premium Edition."

And so here I am almost three years later still not only suffering from the decision to let HP install the Vista Virus on my computer...

...but also finding myself WILLFULLY INSTALLING the exact same software back on my own computer because the way HP and Microsoft have it worked out...

...previous versions of Windows...

...stable operating systems like XP Professional...

...won't work on my Server PC because there are no XP compatible drivers for half of the accessories like the Lightscribe DVD/CD drive and other important crap.

So after about ten days I finally gave in and drank the Coolaid and here I am this morning happily typing away with a catatonic stare of a Vista Zombie.

I got the TV tuner card software re-installed and MS Office and AutoCAD and PhotoShop CS3 and another zillion things I use on a daily basis, and I JUST DON'T CARE ANYMORE because...

...I REFUSE to pay Microsoft for Windows 7 which is apparently the only way I can "Upgrade" my computer operating system.

Sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do...you Know?

And in other news, my back up external hard drive...the only hard drive in the/ON THE ENTIRE FREAKING PLANET which held all of the crap I lost when Vista lost it mind...

...the hard drive which also decided to stop driving or writing or reading or whatever it is that hard drives do...

...the hard drive that decided last weekend that it didn't want to talk to or listen to my Server PC any more...

...is sitting at the local computer shop getting an haircut and pedicure and possibly an enema but they tell me that the problem was in the case of the external drive unit and that the drive itself was preliminarily A-OK.

So I ran out to Staples and picked up a new 1 Terrabyte Segate external drive for the low, low price of $79.00 plus tax and later this morning they are supposed to let me have 34 months worth of photos and data and business correspondence back into my office.

I may just have to take a shower and go to bed and sleep with it...I'll be so happy to have the information back.

Needless to say, if you understood HALF of the past million words of rambling, I'm one tired but happy middle aged Redneck Injuneer this morning.

And on that note...Regards Y'all...

Up To My ASS In Alligators

Don't ask...


News continues to break here at the Turbopup Compound on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.

The kind of news which starts out as rumors and fears about things out of my direct control, but which could end up having some aggrivating consequences if and when things come true in the next couple of weeks...

But...

In my normal devil-may-care manner, I'm forging ahead because I have no other choice.

Unfortunately the situation makes me mentally uninterested/incapable of writing a whole lot here on the blog for the time being.

I'll wander around the Internet and see what else is going on besides the liberals bashing Glenn Beck and get back to y'all later I guess.

A Year Of Living Dangerously Day Of Doing Not Much Of Anything

Successful Smoking and Cooking...


I'm pleased to report that I had a pretty good Saturday here at the Turbo Pup Compound on the Banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.

If yours was half as good as mine was you should have already had a pretty good weekend.

I was just worn out and tired and mentally out of steam and worst of all I knew that I had yet another busy week ahead of me...a week critical to the ongoing progress of building my new business enterprise...and I had to get my attitude adjusted in order to face the tasks before me.

Of course there was the obligatory trip to Home Depot to pick up some odds and ends needed to finish the installation of a new range hood vent fan over the oven in my kitchen, and for dinner there was the preparation of some Prime Beef and Sea Scallops for dinner which didn't get finished until nearly 9 PM last night.

I came up with a new recipe using, in addition to the Tenderloin and Mollusks, sliced fresh mushrooms and wilted baby spinach which ended up laying in a nice satisfying pile on a couple of plates.

I'm too lazy to write down the recipe right now, but will probably cook it again later this week and then publish it here on the blogs.

Any way...while I was sitting around outside on the deck smoking my weekend cigar, little Missy the Turbo Pup spent a couple of hours lounging around in her pool...




and resting in the shade on her personal beach...



At this point in life I'd gladly swap places with that little dog, because she is definitely spoiled rotten and doesn't have a care in the world most of the time.

I miss my old cats which have gone on to Kitty heaven over ten years ago, but as Canines go I'm blessed to have the company of such a fine little animal.

The Calendar Says It's Saturday?

So I'm Taking The Day Off


I'm just mentally worn out after living through the week I just went through.

If it could go wrong it went wrong, and as fast as I had one fire put out or a given problem fixed another half dozen things seemed to pop up and need doing.

That's when it really sucks being a one man company...you have to delegate everything to the same person...

and here at the international headquarters of Plastics Engineering Technologies, Inc. that person would be ME.

So right now I have my bathing suit on and a bandanna wrapped around my ever greying, ever balding head in anticipation of going outside and smoking a cigar and doing the past couple of days worth of newspaper crossword puzzles on the deck while little Missy the Turbo Pup floats around in her swimming pool.

And then I have about ten pounds of Beef Tenderloin to butcher down to steaks and puppy sized tid-bits before putting a couple of the aforementioned steaks on the grill along side of some bacon wrapped giant Sea Scallops. There will also probably be some asparagus spears and possibly a few new potatoes on the side for dinner.

And other than that I'm not going to do a darned thing between now and midnight.

Unless the world blows up or something, I'll talk to y'all tomorrow.

Living In Computer Hell

Where's My Really Big Hammer?


Have I mentioned that I live in a household with two adult humans, one tiny little long haired miniature Dachshund going by the alias of "Missy...the Turbo Pup", and...

FOUR COMPUTERS?

ok...six computers if you count the back up scraps laying around in various stages of construction, and EIGHT computers if you count the two PLC's (Programmable Logic Controllers) sitting in my shop right now.

Any way...

Only one of the machines is acting completely sane right now--Pat's corporate machine--on which I only handle the Internet and networking operations there of because her company does the security and VPN work remotely.

Then there is my old HP 17" laptop which has been relegated to the workshop and that's served me well over the past four or five years before I bought the "server PC" which currently occupies space in my office upstairs.

Since the "Server PC" has lost it's mind over the past couple of days and I've been wrestling with getting it converted backwards from Windows Vista to Windows XP Professional, a little Dell laptop that I rebuilt has served my needs in working a few feet from the sofa and my bedroom when I'm too lazy to walk down stairs to the shop.

So any way...with my menagerie of machines sitting around here I have more problems with computers farting and belching and barfing right now than any single human should have to put up with, and in my old age and chronological incompetence having lost the urge to stay on top of every single detail and development in the computer business (I let my subscriptions to Byte Magazine and PC World expire long ago) I'm not sure if I can weather the storm before me.

Right now I'm about ready to gather everything up, put it in a pile in my wheelbarrow, and haul it all outside to the compost heap.

I guess if it was easy everyone would be doing it, but managing a real network of computers designed to do something besides blog and goof around on Facebook and Twitter is a damn hard proposition from my perspective.

WhuaaaaaatttT?

"If Thy Right Hand Offend Thee..."


OK, Now I have Windows 2000 professional on a computer (formerly a Vista robot) that won't recognize the internal sound card to make beeping and burping sounds, and even more aggravating is that it doesn't have an Ethernet connection or any other network connections because it wants to go to the Internet to download the drivers but it needs the drivers to go to the Internet.

Or in layman's terms...

"now I can't get to the Internet without going to the Internet to get the stuff I need to go to the Internet."

Somebody better come collect my sharp knives...

...and it's a good thing I don't own a bridge or the Eiffel tower else I'd be considering jumping off of something right now.

Dangit...

"Out Damned Spot...Out I Say"

I Gave Myself A "Digital Enema?"


As my regular (and irregular) readers know by now, I've been suffering with the Cancer known as "Windows Vista" on what I laughingly call our "Server PC" since I let HP build us a custom machine in late 2007 and ship it down to our little Island on the Georgia Coast.

Giant hard drives and 22" monitors aside, the so-called Vista "operating system" delivered by Bill Gates et. al. at Microsoft, in my considered Redneck opinion...

TOTALLY SUCKS.

Not only does Vista TOTALLY SUCK, but it TOTALLY SUCKS harder than the gravitational forces of the largest black hole in the entire freaking universe/solar system/infinity.

All of that blithering aside, our so-called "server PC" finally coughed up a liver and a spleen and possibly a couple of kidneys yesterday afternoon and evening, and I ended up having to sit through doing a "restore your PC to Factory conditions" ritual complete with incense and sitting cross legged naked in the floor on the skins of a Bear and Cougar bowing down in front of a human skull with a burning candle sticking out of the top....

and when I got done with the process a week a couple of hours later I realized that AutoCAD and PhotoShop and my Microsoft Office Suite and my TV receiver card software and my Cannon Digital Camera software and EVERY F**KING THING I had installed since buying the computer was...

G O N E.

Fortunately I have an external back up copy of all of the data files, but it is a few weeks old because I was intending to move the 500 GB drive down to the laptop in the shop and never got around to it so Norton is a little behind on my archiving.

But any way...

As I set there looking at the then "restored" computer that was now dumb as a brick and asking to connect to the Internet with America On Line's free trial services, a little tiny light bulb lit up in my ever greying, ever balding head.

What began as a little trickle of thought rapidly surged to a torrent of emotion, verily a tidal wave of sparks and lightning bolts of mental electrical currents, as I had the liberating experience of realizing that I was now free to break the shackles, rend the bonds, and struggle free from the slimy mucous dripping grasp of the Microsoft Vista Home "Premium Edition" and crawl on my knees back to my beloved Windows XP Professional haven of safety and digital security.

I owned a legal copy of the Windows XP Professional 2002 edition which I had bought in my efforts to restore the little Dell laptop Pat's company abandoned in our posession when the hard drive failed back in 2006 (and on which I'm blogging right now beside the sick former Vista machine), and when I purchased a new hard drive I also bought an OEM copy of XP on E-Bay for something like $99 and I still had one legal install available.

So you know what I did?

I flushed Vista down the toilet without a second thought and within the next day or two, after a few dozen hours of work and a littany of curse words, I will hopefully have a squeeky clean Server PC running XP Professional, with AutoCAD and Photo Shop and my other programs all residing comfortably in a new and improved directory structure.

Companies producing crap like "Vista" which is so obviously flawed that they have to deliver the next generation of software and change the name (Windows 7) in hopes of keeping idiots from knowing it's the same thing slightly modified would be stoned to death in Iran/Iraq or Afghanistan, but here in the By-God United States of 'Merica their biggest fear is being called up before the Senate for a "hearing."

And on that note, I'm "hearing" my Server PC calling wanting me to push the "next" button and keep on installing software.

Regards Y'all...

Ebonics Translator Jobs?

Channeling Your Inner Negro...

This story is really too much by it's self, so I'll withhold any commentary and just let is stand here on its own.

Click on the link and see the news about the US Justice Department wanting to hire people to translate the language used in surveillance tapes:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/justice-department-seeks-ebonics-experts


I first saw the story last night on Drudge and somehow avoided writing about it, but then my blog Buddy Rodger over at Curmudgeonly & Skeptical picked up the item and went a step further, finding this on-line "Ebonics Translator" which could save the government idiots a few taxpayer dollars in the process.

Type in some phrases and sit back and laugh at the results...





I like the conversion of the phrases "Where is my calculator?" and "I forget how the toilet flushes"


Heh...

Why I Didn't They Apparently Vote Democrat

Couldn't Have Said It Better Myself...


10. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

9. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

8. I voted Democrat because Freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

7. I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

6. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

5. I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies through abortion so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

4. I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.

3. I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the democrats see fit.

2. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

1. I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass that it is unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.


Thanks Rodge

My Attention Deficit Disorder

Like I Don't Already Have Enough To Do...


So we were sitting around at dinner a couple of weeks ago and my neighbor told me that they wanted to add a sun room addition on the back of their house.

Then one thing lead to another and I got my tape measure out and fired up AutoCAD and the next thing you know he's going down to the Knox County building permit office later this morning with SEVEN SHEETS of drawings including these two elevations I produced...





I love doing Architecture almost as much I enjoy Injuneering, but now it's time to get back to some paying work I guess...

Y'all have a LOVELY Monday...

Cats

Good Intentions...Gone Bad...






(Thanks for the link Rodge)

Trash Talking On Sunday Morning

Read My Lips...


I've pretty much had it up to here, Ladies and Gentlemen (pointing to the top of my ever greying, ever balding head), with BS news stories about " waist waste recycling."

For instance...consider this news story about the idiots in government up in Cleveland, Ohio putting in "high tech" trash cans.

CLEVELAND, Ohio -- It would be a stretch to say that Big Brother will hang out in Clevelanders' trash cans, but the city plans to sort through curbside trash to make sure residents are recycling -- and fine them $100 if they don't.

The move is part of a high-tech collection system the city will roll out next year with new trash and recycling carts embedded with radio frequency identification chips and bar codes.

The chips will allow city workers to monitor how often residents roll carts to the curb for collection. If a chip show a recyclable cart hasn't been brought to the curb in weeks, a trash supervisor will sort through the trash for recyclables.

Yeah, I can't wait to turn in my two weeks notice to quit my job as a professional Prison Guard, Tollbooth Fee Collector, or Interstate Rest Area Toilet Maintenance Technician and apply for the position of "Trash Supervisor" in Cleveland so I can spend my days sorting around in batches of used feminine hygiene products intermixed with poopie baby diapers and banana peels looking for un-recycled plastic water bottles and diet soda cans.

Boys and Girls, shit stories like this (excuse the pun) are a PERFECT example of not only the stupidity of government "officials", but also the inability of the so-called professionals in the lamestream media to do an accurate, serious, analytical analysis (heavy on the anal) of any given story.

Therefore the task of breaking this story down to understandable terms is left up to I (as in Me and Myself), your lovely and talented Internet Blogger, to tell you how much sense this whole program makes and how the government of Cleveland ill-advisedly spends their hard earned taxpayer's money in their quest to appear to be a "Green City."

First let's look at the cost of the "high tech" garbage cans they call "carts."

Doing the math, $2,500,000.00 for 25,000 carts equals $100 per cart.

OK? So good so far.

Next, they say that the city pays $30 per ton to put trash in the landfill, where they "earn" $26 per ton for "recyclables" they collect and deposit somewhere.

They also say that the 15,000 "smart carts" last year saved 5,800 tons of material from going to the landfill.

That's 0.387 tons of recyclables per household every 12 months, yielding a savings of $10.05 per cart PER YEAR ($21.65 per year if you include the total avoided landfill costs.)

And nowhere does anyone mention the administrative costs of of managing and operating the tracking and enforcement arm of the system on a day to day basis.

I guarandamntee you that there will be at least 30 Government employees making an average of $50,000 per year involved in issuing "tickets" and "citations" and running around digging through fetid piles of used Tampons and empty beer cans...

so you have to include the $1,500,000 per year administrative costs to the program and...

Anyone else see where I'm going here?

This system is NEVER, ever, EVER going to yield a realistic return on the investment.

And by adding 25,000 new "smart carts" to the system each year it will take them until 2015 to get everybody into the program, and if Herbie Curbies "Smart Carts" follow the path of abuse that local grocer shopping carts have to live through the replacement of lost and stolen carts will further drive the program's value into the basement.

But Owl Gore and all of his sniveling, booger eating, tree hugging, tie died, patchoouli stinking, eco-friendly, Mother earth loving, Global Warming fearing commie socialistic progressive democrats will smile and nod knowingly because we're all just a little bit better off than we were yesterday as a result of the City of Clevelands good faith efforts at "going Green."

Now you will have to excuse me while I go dunk my head in a cooler full of ice water before it explodes....

Wrandom Wramblings And Curmudgeonly Cogitations...

Getting My Part-Time Bitchin' Career Out Of Moth Balls...


So I see where the President and "First Lady" are heading off on another vacation to Martha's Vineyard.

Ten days this time.

You know what?

I don't really care if Obamarama, the professional community organizer come Prezbo, is on vacation, because when he's on vacation he can't screw anything up (as long as he keeps his stupid yap closed and locks Biden in a closet in the White House for the duration), and since the US Congress is also on vacation that means that my wallet is safe for another few weeks before the idiocy and spending of other peoples' money resumes.

You know what else?

I'd be willing to let the president and the whole damn congress fly off somewhere on Air Force One and in a fleet of Gulfstreams to parts unknown and not come back until January 2nd, 2011.

I figure that would save the taxpayers two or three TRILLION DOLLARS in the process and I wouldn't have to watch the news and wipe the spittle off my chin and computer screen as a result of listening to that silly hippy bitch Nasty Pelosi talk about the "progressive" topic du jour.

On the local injuneering front, I'm in the process of firing a couple of vendors as a result of their ineptitude this week, basically costing me five days waiting on them to do nothing but delay my progress.

How can you talk on the telephone for an hour on Monday with a "Customer Support" person, fill out a "Material Return Authorization" form, and then find out on Thursday afternoon that they have done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to follow up on their offer to replace the defective sensors I have in my shop?

It all defies logic, and I'm stuck dead in the water until I receive new sensors because the ones I have don't work for some reason.

I'm ready to just go buy a big bottle of Vodka, a couple of cans of Pineapple, Orange, and Cranberry juice, some Ice, and an Intravenous bottle with a large bore IV needle and go on vacation my self...

Without leaving the farm Turbo Pup Compound.

Is it just ME???

1970's Saturday Night Live Clip

Blast From My Past To YOU...


Everyone over the age of about 45 probably remembers seeing this clip of Jane Curtain and Dan Aykroyd live when it first aired in about 1976...




(and while you're at it, when you have the time...check out Dan's new "Crystal Head" Vodka bottle design...)





My local package store has several in stock...I just haven't ponyed up $50 for a half liter of clear liquor yet.


Heh...

Someone Crushed My Toilet Paper...

Middle Aged Consumer "Quality Control" Issues


OK...dangit...somebody has apparently been squeezing my Charmin Scott TP.

I've had it up to here (pointing to the top of my ever greying, ever balding head) with coming home from CVS or Eckerds or Big Lots with my monthly load of four big bails of toilet paper on sale for half price, only to find when I open the package and mount said toilet paper on the little "roller thingie" (conveniently located where I have to stand up to reach it behind my left shoulder...

when I pull on my toilet paper roll--mounted so the paper comes off OVER rather than UNDER--(because only Democrats and Georgia/LSU graduates mount toilet paper any other way...)

When I pull on my toilet paper in order to dispense it for use...

it wobbles and bangs and goes "ker-thunka-ka-thunka" or even locks up thereby only giving me a single sheet sufficient to wipe the spit from my mouth or a tear from my eye...

...because that little cardboard tube on the inside of the roll has been crushed nearly flat due to mishandling or outright vandalism.

Thus I have two solutions to this problem this afternoon ladies and gentlemen.

The first would be a steel or aluminum or possibly carbon fiber tube designed to slide inside the aforementioned crushed cardboard tube in the toilet paper roll, thereby yielding a smooth and satisfying delivery of this restroom necessity.

Heck, If I had my way I'd mount the whole thing on super lubricated ball bearings and one single tug would result in the entire roll spinning off of the roller into the floor if you weren't paying attention.

Then the second idea is this...




A roll of toilet paper designed to last at least a month which is so inherently strong that during shipment or storage on store shelves it could not possibly be damaged so as to perform in a manner in my home while not delivering any "ker-thunka-ka-thunka" type sounds.

I know many people out there are as excited as I am with these new developments, and I'll let you know as soon as possible when one or both products are available on Amazon.com.






Heh...

"Those Voices Don't Speak For The Rest Of Us..."

Where Are Men (And Women) Like President Reagan When We Need Them?





It's frightening how words spoken almost fifty years ago ring so true when listening to the "Enlightened" Progressive Democrats blitherings today.

I Want One...

Mercedes SLS Gull Wing






Unfortunately I'm a couple of dollars short of the $200,000 price tag...but still...

Hummingbirds

Nature's Little Wonders...


I have to admit that until we moved down to St. Simons Island in 2003 I didn't know much about Hummingbirds other than they were out there in exotic locations like the Bahamas and Jamaica...because I had actually seen them down there.

Then on a whim while wandering around the local Ace Hardware I bought our first "Hummingbird feeder" and within a few weeks my eyes were opened to an entire new world occupied by these little amazing flying bundles of feathers and energy.

Today we maintain two feeders--one on the front porch and one in the back yard outside the kitchen window--and we enjoy the hilarious antics of the Ruby Throated hummers and an occasional few other species from about April to October each year.

That said, take a look at this short video clip of a new film shown on PBS about Hummers:



There are infinite websites now on the Internet giving information on the different birds indigenous to North America, and I've actually caught and held in my bare hand an errant bird which got trapped in my Mom's garage a few years ago.

If you've never had a hummingbird feeder you are missing a real treat.

We constantly laugh at their antics as the rival clans of birds put on aerial shows featuring daily "dog-fights" over dominance of our feeders, and we probably use as much sugar feeding our little clan of birds as we use cooking for humans in our kitchen.

Simple things...you know?

It's Saturday And I Should Be Working...

I'm An Expert At Procrastination...


Dang It...

It's already 10:30 AM and I'm still sitting here in my underwear my PJ's doing anything and everything but what it is I'm supposed to be doing this morning.

Normally we do our grocery shopping early on Saturday morning, but today I slept in late after being up until 4 AM thrashing around in the shop and smoking the last couple of inches of yesterday afternoon's cigar on the front porch listening to the crickets chirp.

I'm having a hard time getting motivated because this current project has been laying around on the test bench for so long and I'm just generally tired of looking at it but somehow I'm going to have to muster a Herculean effort to wrap things up and get it all out the door in a cloud of dust on Monday...TWO WEEKS LATE.

Better to be late had have a product that works than be on time with something that at best makes a nice giant desk paper weight...you know?

Of course as is usual I have a multitude of distractions which are infinitely more interesting than the things in front of me which must be done...on time hopefully.

There's the new front porch decking design and installation...

Or the new Carport storage/utility closet design...

Or just sitting around on my deck watching the Turbo Pup give the world a good barking while contemplating my belly button...

You get my drift.

I'm so distracted and lazy that I can't even take the time to bitch about the stupid goings on in Washington DC...so I'll leave all of that stuff to you and your own devices.

Time to go do today's crossword puzzle, clip my toe nails, wash a little laundry, do some dishes...

anything but stagger around in my shop looking at electronics will do right now.

Oh...

And Y'all have a LOVELY Saturday...if you will...

I'm Cranky

Missing My Mid-Day Naps...


I have to tell you that this recent bout of working for a living stuff is contrary to my normal demeanor.

Seriously, I can't stop my mind from working long enough to lounge around and do nothing when I intend to any more it seems.

Being awake all of the daylight hours and half of the night is starting to take its toll, and I really have to have a final breakthrough in the next 24 hours and finish a couple of things or a nervous breakdown could result.

Don't make me go all "Jack Nicholson" and fly over to the "Cuckoo's nest" or else...

Travel Interruptus?

Best Laid Plans...


Dang it.

I've just had to cancel the second pleasure trip in the past month.

All the result of a combination of bad luck, bad planning, and now a relative heavy workload with deadlines slipping past like unset jello between my fingers.

So instead of Pittsburgh for three nights I'll be home here at the Turbo Pup Compound thrashing around on this current PLC panel--still hopefully going out the door today or tomorrow at latest, and now designing a major modification/rebuild of one of my previous panels at the owner's request.

And this latest re-design project has to be completed early to mid next week so the modifications can be completed and the new and improved machine sent back out the door before next Friday.

Thus being out of town tomorrow and next Monday is impossible, so...

Here I sit in front of the computer cancelling hotel reservations and watching the thunderstorms outside my office window.

Time to get back to work I guess...

I've Got An Employee Hired A Consultant

Capitulating To My Own Ignorance...


Sorry for not posting earlier, but I've got a meeting here again later this morning at the Turbo Pup Compound at my company's International Headquarters, and I've been up since 5 AM getting ready for the event.

Geez...two meetings in FIVE days....some sort of record I think.

I'm starting to act like I'm actually in business for real or something?

Any way, I've got a software consultant coming over--I've used the guy before back in January--to help me work out a couple of bugs in my PLC program and generally look things over before I put it all in a box tomorrow afternoon and kick it off the FedEX loading dock.

Wish me luck...If you will...

It's Obama's "Taxpayer Payback" Time?

We're Reaping The So-Called "Benefits" Of The Government Motors Bailout...


So I was feeling a little lethargic and lazy if not just plain guilty the past couple of weeks because I couldn't get excited enough to deliver a good rant here on the blog.

Not to worry, Ladies and Gentlemen, because when you read this Wall Street Journal (via the American Thinker) story about GM spending $715,000,000 on one of it's Mexican auto plants to produce a new engine and upgrade their production line you're probably gonna be pretty pissed off just like I am this morning:

U.S. automobile giant General Motors Co. said Tuesday it plans to invest close to $500 million in its Ramos Arizpe plant in northern Mexico to produce a new line of engines as well as a new vehicle...

"We estimate that these technologies allow for a 9% improvement in fuel efficiency from current engines," Lieblein said, adding that the investment will directly create 390 jobs in Coahuila state, where Ramos Arizpe is located.

Another $215 million will go toward upgrading the factory's production lines to build a new vehicle for the domestic and international markets, she said, noting that the investment will be key to maintaining 400 jobs.

Assembly of the vehicle, which wasn't named, is set to begin in the last quarter of 2011. GM plans for it to "give long-term viability to this plant by gradually substituting some production volumes."

GM today is apparently as tone deaf as everyone and everything else touched by President Obama and the Obamamaniacs.

The country is going down the crapper for many Americans and Obama not only sends Lady Obama off to France to spend $75,000 a day in vacation dollars in one foreign country, but at the same time lets (or more likely demands) that General Motors send THREE QUARTERS OF A BILLION DOLLARS to Mexico to support manufacturing what we today laughingly call an "American Automobile"?

The good news is that there will be several thousand Mexicans making US dollars without having to walk or swim across our southern border I guess.

And here's another thing to think about which just occurred to me...

How much do you want to bet that the UAW (United Auto Workers) is, as I write this missive, in the process of organizing the workers in Mexico?

That is, if they haven't already got the plant workers paying Union dues.

Imagine the political outcome of Mexican Autoworkers paying dues that come to US Unions, which then turn around and make donations to the Rat Bastard Commie Socialist Democrats.

Yeah...that "Comprehensive Immigration Reform" effort in the Congress is a humanitarian effort and has nothing to do with money.

Dammit...

I'm Thinking About Going Here On Vacation

Budget Travel...

I'll check their prices and let you know in case anyone else is interested.

(Image shamelessly stolen from here )

Six Years Of Bitching In Public Blogging

I Hope It's Been As Much Fun For You As It Has For Me...


It's hard to believe that it was SIX YEARS ago this week I was sitting in a Holiday Inn Crown Plaza in Chicago writing my first couple of blog entries.

Up until a couple of days earlier in August 2004 I had never heard of Google's "Blogger" website which makes it possible for me to do what it is that I do here...

FOR FREE.

Free, that is, if you don't count my time...literally hundreds and hundreds of hours...OK THOUSANDS of hours to date.

Looking at my statistics page here in the Blogger software, this writing represents posting number 2861 on this blog, "What I'd Liked To Have Said", and there's an additional 110 recipes posted over at The Redneck Gourmet.

A pretty amazing body of writing I'd say coming from a guy that absolutely HATED English class in High School and College.

I know that I sometimes take liberties with my grammar and punctuation, and my spelling is less than perfect sometimes even with spellcheck, but still...

Other than a few days here and there when I didn't feel like writing or was just too busy, and a couple of month long stays in the hospital trying to die with blood clots in various parts of my body (and the three month time in the spring of 2007 when I thought I wanted to quit blogging), I've been pretty consistent in recording my attitude and thoughts here in a public forum for all of the world to view if they happen to stop by intentionally or by accident.

I don't write to get a high volume of internet traffic and I don't try to make money blogging, thus the reason you don't see any ads and pop-up banners here on my site.

I write for fun and to stay sane (if anyone could in any way describe me as being lucid) and I write knowing that when I'm long gone from this planet that some of the crap that ends up here will survive and possibly in one hundred years people will stop by and know some crazy guy (that would be me) once lived and breathed and wandered around in the world doing the stuff I've done and written the stuff I've said here.

And for me, that's all I've attempted to get out of this process.

And I hope I've brought a smile to a few peoples' faces and pissed a few people off that deserved it.

And as I said in my subtitle...I hope it's been as much fun for you as it has for me.

Oops

That's Gonna Leave A Scar...




Ouch...

(and thanks Rodge)

I Brined My Butt

Now I Need Help Rubbing And Roasting It...Anyone Interested?


OK...Not Really.

I've actually already brined it and rubbed it and now it's laying out on the grill over a pan of water cooking in indirect heat.

MY (Boston) BUTT...that is...

If you want to know how to brine and rub YOUR BUTT...go over HERE to my other blog--"The Redneck Gourmet" and see how many times I can write the word "Butt" in a single recipe.

Time to go check on my Butt now I guess...


Heh

Another "Working" Weekend

The Fruits Of Procrastination And Poor Planning...


Sorry for not posting yesterday, but I had a building full of people here for part of the day at the Turbopup Compound a.k.a. my company's International Headquarters.

And as a result I was up at 4 AM finishing presentation materials and sprucing things up---putting away the Turbo Pup toys and cleaning out the kitchen sink (because you can see it from the dining room conference room table.

The good news is that my ideas were well received, and with any luck after a little polishing I'll have a portable version of my new prototype panel in the hands of my sales partner company by the end of this month.

In the mean time I have three more pneumatic valves to get out the door this week and of course the never ending PLC project is wrapping up and going into a cardboard box before we head out on the road to spend a long weekend in the Pittsburgh, PA area for a wedding celebration.

I walked outside just now and found the weather to be refreshingly cooler this morning, and looking at the NOAA weather website it looks like we have a real nice pool weekend coming up so Pat and Missy the Turbo Pup will have something to do while I have my head stuck in the shop and in front of the computer screen.

I hope Y'all have a LOVELY (and productive if need be) weekend also...

Too Tired To Complain (Much)

Mental Funk Continues...


It's a rare event when I can't figure out how to do something.

OK...

Open heart surgery, building a manned spacecraft...

I don't do much of that kind of stuff these days, but still.

I've got a few little bitty details to work out still on the latest PLC panel and just like every engineering project, it seems that the last 5% of any given project takes 95% of the time and effort to complete.

That rule is certainly true in my basement these days.

There's plenty of crap going on out there in the news and in the world that makes my ever greying, ever balding head spin (at near orbital rotational velocity), but in an effort to stay focused I've declined to comment.

Let's face it, ladies and gentlemen. We live in a society of people today many of which have lost track of what it means to be an American.

At least an American in the sense of the America I grew up in in the 1960's and 1970's.

If President Kennedy were alive today and he made a speech challenging America to build a spacecraft from scratch and fly to the moon by the end of the decade, you know what?

I don't believe that we could do it.

Again.

Not because we lack the academic acumen to do the work, but because we lack the resolve and political climate to accomplish the task again.

And that's sad.

Very SAD.

Eat My Dust

YOUR Government Has Lost It's Mind...


Crap like this just makes me crazy.

Did you know that the Imperial Federal Government of the United By-God States of 'Merica, via the Environmental Protection Agency, is considering regulating "Farm Dust" ?


OKLAHOMA CITY -- The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency is considering a crackdown on farm dust, so senators have signed a letter addressing their concerns on the possible regulations.

The letter dated July 23 to the EPA states, "If approved, would establish the most stringent and unparalleled regulation of dust in our nation's history." It further states, "We respect efforts for a clean and healthy environment, but not at the expense of common sense. These identified levels will be extremely burdensome for farmers and livestock producers to attain. Whether its livestock kicking up dust, soybeans being combined on a dry day in the fall, or driving a car down the gravel road, dust is a naturally occurring event."

It's not like that these idiots that can't run a letter delivery system and make a profit (US Postal Service)don't have plenty of important things to worry about.

Things that matter like Radon Gas in your basement or the Ozone Hole or leaking oil wells in the Gulf of Mexico, but these stupid wild eyed suckers are spending time out running around looking for NEW STUFF to regulate.

But Farm Dust?

FARM DUST?

I guess they can add that to the list of crap the sniveling, booger eating, tie died, patchouli stinking hippies have to protest and worry about along with cows belching and farting and odors coming from chicken shit stored on chicken farms.

I swear to God People, if you go out in November and vote to put most of our elected idiots back in office (or worse yet you don't vote at all) you deserve to get a ticket for driving down a dirt road kicking up a dust trail in the process.

I have to go now because my head hurts just thinking about this idocy.

Dead In The Water

Paralyzed With Indecision...


Dang it...I can't seem to get crap anything useful accomplished the past few days.

OK, I've got some paper work done and put together some pricing on a new product I'm developing, but tangible, paying, work production has been limited.

And I'm going to get my tail in a crack shortly if I don't get this PLC panel out the door this week, but my head just isn't into the process right now for some reason.

Every thing's installed and working...sort of...but the fine tuning process is tedious and I still have to finish up the users' manual and working on stuff like this solo just further complicates things.

Owning the business, I can pretty much do whatever I want to do without having to deal with a "committee"...it's just figuring out what exactly to do that's the problem sometimes.

For instance, I suggest that you don't do anything like this...



That's hilarious, and I think I'll go do some laundry now...

I'm Your Huckleberry...Part Deaux

The Latest "Cone Of Death" Approaches...




...And the sniveling tie died patchouli stinking booger eaters rejoice...


I TOLD YOU SO...


(and you're welcome)

Let The Cape Verde Hurricane Season Begin...

My Head Already Hurts




So it's August 1st, and the "Cape Verde" part of the 2010 Hurricane season will be getting into full swing in the next couple of weeks.

Look forward to the Atlantic Trade winds, as they have for the past zillion years, delivering the waves of moisture which come off of the African Continent across the Atlantic and with some miraculous combination of upper level highs and low pressure systems we here in the Southeastern US and the Central American region will get to enjoy the results of the atmosphere redistributing the heat and moisture in the process.

And the sniveling tree hugging booger eater global warming fanatics will sit around in their tie died shirts stinking of Patchouli and chanting "Death to Bush and Cheney" and the talking weather heads will tell you that we're all doomed and in the mean time I'm here to tell you...

It's AUGUST people...

On and near the US Gulf Coast...

And the wind is going to blow and the rain is going to fall just like it has pretty much every F**king year for the last million years since the Good Lord created the planet.

So get over it...

...Dammit...

"Come To The USA"

Leave It To Ray Stevens To Say It...




Heh...

I'm Your Huckleberry

Rambling Commentary On World Events


Oh...where to start this morning?

I'm sort of wild eyed and a little grumpy because I'm going to work through the weekend getting things done I couldn't or didn't manage to do last week, so...

Should I write about the hilarious antics of the Niggras Negros Blacks African Americans members of the Congressional Black Caucus up in DC getting their sorry race baiting demagogue butts into ethics hearings?

Waters and Rangel should have been tossed out on their stupid black rear ends 20 years ago but because of their color no one was willing to call them on their illegal deeds without risking being called "racist".

As the old saying goes..."give an idiot enough rope and they will eventually hang themselves with it"...

Or maybe I'll write about General Motors...aka "Government Motors" getting all the Obamamaniacs astir with the introduction of a $41,000 electric car--the "Volt"--with the interior room to accommodate four midgets and a capability of going 40 MILES before having to fire up the gasoline engine and burn only premium gasoline for the next 300 plus miles.

And then of course since it's summer and it hasn't rained in LA since February, it's big news that most of southern California has burst into flame and is chasing people out of their homes and businesses while the idiot reporters in the newspapers and on the TV act like it's never ever happened before.

Or maybe I'll predict that in the next two weeks that 2 or 3 decent sized tropical events will occur in the Caribbean/Gulf of Mexico and every single person working at ABC/CBS/NBC/CNN/MSNBC and the ASSociated press will lose their minds and proclaim doom and gloom and death and destruction because of the Bush Tax Cuts causing Global Warming...and the storms will disproportionately affect minorities and women.

But then again, I'm busy and don't have time to tell you what I really think.

Y'all have a LOVELY Saturday.

Blogging For Blogging's Sake

Words Tumbling Out Onto The Keyboard...


I've got so much stuff going on around here these days I've missed my mid morning nap three of the past four days.

Today looks like it will be day five based on what I see looking at my "to-do" list.

I managed to get four more pneumatic valves out the door yesterday bringing this week's total to eight, and I have three more "master rebuilds" to do next week once the piston shafts come back from the chrome shop and are re-ground to tolerance.

And of course the new PLC panel is still snorting and banging around in the shop waiting on the final software revisions and...

you get my drift...

So I'm going to go now and finish reading the news and getting ready for another eight or ten hour day of beating my head against a computer screen.

Regards Y'all...

Ummmmmmmm...

Errrrrrrrrrr....


Sorry Ladies and Gentlemens, but I'm REAL busy.

Blog more later.

(If anyone knows about Photovoltaic Cells give me a ring.)

Eighty Eight Thousand...Eight Hundred And Eighty Eight Hits

Thanks For Reading


Click on the image for photographic evidence...

An International Dispute In My Basement?

15 Hour Days = No Blogging


Sorry for missing a day of blogging yesterday, but I have a good excuse involving "professional obligations." (and the people that know me in real life are laughing their rear ends off right now when I include "professional" in the same sentence with reference to myself.)

Any way, for some reason I went out in June and sold this touch screen PLC based sensor system which has to measure the temperature of a product on a production line moving past at a rate of as fast as 22,000 units per hour.

Yes, you heard me right ...TWENTY TWO THOUSAND PER HOUR.

Doing the math for those of you that went to FSU and UGA, that's a little over 6 times per SECOND that something comes flying past my two non-contact infrared temperature sensors. (Non contact IR Sensors are expensive...and that's all you need to know if you're not an injuneer.)

I'm using "non-contact" type sensors because obviously you can't actually touch something moving that fast to determine it's temperature because either you or it would get hurt in the process.

Got it?

Then to complicate things further, the customer's existing process is smart and can throttle it's speed downward by about 50% if things start backing up in packaging or somewhere else on the line, and this makes it hard to tell where the bad product my temperature sensors have detected is located afterward because my system is supposed to "kick" the offending product off the line before it gets mixed in with all of the other good product.

You might think that's a hard standard, but believe me it's even HARDER than you think at these speeds...particularly since you can't just guess how fast it's moving.

You have to KNOW...

Exactly.

Then, as my title suggests, I'm having trouble getting all of the sensors to get along because they're from different manufacturers.

But hey...all three are all built in Germany, and I thought that by default that they'd all speak the same language and all I needed was a good translator so that I could understand what they were saying and things would be good.

But NooooooOOOOOOO...

I'm not sure what it is...maybe the guys that designed my proximity sensors are fans of a different Rugby or Soccer team from the ones designing my IR sensors or something.

And my PLC was made here in the good old United By-God States of 'Merica (by non-union employees...I've been to the factory) and everyone knows how most Germans feel about Americans.

And with the switches and warning lights made in China and Taiwan and some of the other stuff made in Costa Rica, it almost seems like that for the past month I've had a regular United Nations Security Council sub-committee meeting going on in my shop inside a 16" x 20" x 8" steel box.

And apparently up until now, everybody gets to vote but ME.

I just spent about 22 hours over the past two days trying to "sprint to the finish line" on this project and late yesterday I think I had my final breakthrough on getting everyone to agree to work together and not pass any resolutions against the US and more specifically, anyone living here at the Turbo Pup Compound.

In the interest of diversity the Council demanded I get some woman's involvement into the process, so Pat looked at everything and was impressed and said it looked "cool".

And little Missy the Turbo Pup's a girl puppy, so I'm gonna hold her up to the front of the cabinet today and let her put a good puppy "snoogh" right in the middle of the touch screen.

Unfortunately I was unable to comply with the racial diversity part of their request because I don't know any African Americans here in Knoxtown with PLC programming skills.

I told them that the Chief plant electrician at my customer's facility is a very competent Black guy so the Chinese talked the Germans into letting me off the hook on that one.

So now, Ladies and Gentlemen, having explained where I've been for the past 48 hours, I'm going to collapse back into a coma for another two or three hours before getting back downstairs to make sure one group of parts hasn't started another war with the other groups.

Regards Y'all...

"Above Average" Hurricane Season?

Sniveling Global Warming Weenies Weep In Their Tofu...


I want to remind everyone that after eight weeks on the Hurricane calendar we've only had TWO named storms this season.

And here's the current forcast map:



Probably going to be an exciting August and September based on the law of averages, but still...

I Need An "Electronics Exorcist"

My Shop Is Haunted...


So I cooked bar-B-que ribs and fresh corn on the cob and new potatoes for dinner last night after basking on the deck like a lizard for most of the afternoon.

Smoked my last cigar and sweated on the newspaper did most of the crossword in the process, and I vaguely recall some Vodka in the form of "Seabreezes" crossing my lips once or twice...OK...maybe four or five times.

Then I collapsed into bed before dark but then by 3 AM I was half awake and puzzling over the final details of this stupid PLC programming exercise I'm going through.

I finally gave up sleeping any longer and stumbled down into the basement and by 5AM I had managed to go backwards to about where I was last Thursday.

For some reason the Laptop computer and the PLC got together and decided to barf up every time I tried to download my revised code saying there were errors in instructions I hadn't changed in over a week.

So I had to go back to Wednesday's version of the program and then reconstruct all of the code and screen edits I had done, and now at 8 AM I'm back to slightly ahead of where I started at 3 AM.

If you're not a programmer you can just think I'm sloppy or crazy, but the people out there that live working on the inner thought processes of all of the machines which we take for granted today know that many if not most are like spoiled "mentally challenged" children.

They don't know how to do anything and they spend most of their time unable to understand else just plain ignoring instructions on how to do whatever it is you're trying to get them to do.

I spend half my time ready to throw everything out in the yard and the other half celebrating some small victory which many times is only short lived.

Any way...my brain is fried for the time being...

...so I think it's time to go out while the temperature is still under 100 degrees and fire up the weed eater and wake up the neighbors early on a Sunday morning.

Regards Y'all...

Ashes To Ashes...Dust To Dust...

You Drink Good Beer Vodka...Your Pipes Won't Rust...


It's "Pool Time" this afternoon here at the Turbo Pup Compound.

It's too dang hot to do anything else except possibly sit inside in the AC, but I've been up since 3 AM working, then made a run to Staples and WalMart, dumped a bunch of cardboard and newspapers off at the recycling center, and cooked brunch.

All before 11:30 AM.

On a Saturday.

I pretty much treat every day on the calendar like it's Saturday AND a work day and then just get whatever I can done along the way.

The only difference between a real Saturday and a work day is that I can't find anyone to talk to on the telephone because all of the 9 to 5 working stiffs are at home hiding from the telephone and business concerns.

I can't and don't operate like that for some un-Godly reason.

It started out intentional but now it's so ingraned into my soul and spirit that I can't do things any other way.

I have an owner's/operations manual to finish writing and some programming tidbits to finish up and there's still a stack of pneumatic valves to finish up, but right now I want to go smoke the last cigar I have in the Humidor and read today's paper while baking on the deck.

Y'all have a LOVELY weekend...

I'm Half Way Making A Living...

Or Is it Making Half A Living?


Well Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm pleased to report that things have settled down a little this week finally here at the Turbo Pup Compound on the Banks of the Mighty Tennessee River.

We have the calendar schedule for the next couple of months pretty much worked out as of today, and between me pounding on the new PLC panel trying to teach it how to read three expensive non-contact sensors and time spent throwing pneumatic valve parts into a solvent bath I have a nice reasonable work load for most of the next week or so.

But then just when I get my Karma straightened out I have to wander into the dining room and sit at the table and screw around with tax forms for the State of Tennessee and the Imperial Federal Government of the United By-God States of 'Merica.

That's right, I have to close the books on the second quarter of 2010 and make sure I don't do anything wrong or fail to file some piece of paper which would cause the bureaucrats to come after me and my wallet.

It's a total bitch having to waste perfectly good time where I could be sleeping or goofing around doing nothing--or better yet making money--screwing around with government paperwork.

And you just wait until 2012 when one of the new hidden provisions of the "Obamacare" health care legislation kicks in and business start having to provide a 1099 Form to every single supplier that they spend over $600 in a calendar year.

I was just doing the math here and right now I'd have to write no less than a dozen forms and my company is only nine months old and we have no real employees (we have me and my partner as slaves) and we haven't billed $100K yet this year.

It's really unfortunate that we've gotten to the point where the stupid shitheads in the government treat most of the population as "subjects" and the higher earners as "income sources" these days.

People fall into two broad categories and generally vote "D" or "R" accordingly.

Either you are on the dole getting welfare and/or food stamps and/or WIC and/or Medicade and "earned income" credits--spending your life having kids you can't afford while living a lifestyle you can't support, else you're a member of the EVIL rich class of citizens who's job it is, according to the politicians and "social wellfare experts" to work their ass off and then send 30% to 39% of their largess to the government to fund their idiocy and vote buying "social programs."

For some strange reason--it's either genetic or just simple insanity--I keep aspiring to earn the sort of income which will put me in the government gun sights as a member of the "EVIL RICH."

I'd go have my head examined to see why I suffer from this affliction but I'd probably just break the Cat Scanner or MRI and then they'd send me a bill for that also.

So I just stay home and thrash around and write here on this blog...

Uncle Virgil's Protege

Driving A Firebird Rather Than A Camaro....


Here's some video of a friend/former college roomate's son doing the weekend drag racing thing over in North Carolina.



I did burnouts in front of the church at his parent's wedding in my firethorn red 1977 Camaro way back in 1981.

They say I wore off on him in some sort of demented way in the process....

Go figure?

I'm Over Run With Vegetables

"Garden Takes Over Knoxville Man's Property..."


I have to admit that, while I grew up visiting my Grandfather's farm every summer back in the 1960's and early 1970's, that doesn't make me a farmer any more that having attended a bunch of Atlanta Braves games makes me a professional Baseball Player.

I present this season's garden as evidence of my inability.

It's not that I'm not getting fruit and vegetables out of the dirt as a result of my efforts...

It's that the garden has literally taken over my back yard, and the areas where the garden isn't growing I've let the weeds get out of control so the whole thing looks like some sort of scene out of a Star Trek movie.

You know, the one where Mr. Spock dies and Kirk launches his body and this "Genesis Device" down to a barren planet and the planet grows into a lush rain forest and Mr. Spock comes back to life in the process.

I wish Mr. Spock (or Dr. Spock or Old McDonald) would show up here with a Weed Eater and a Hoe and help me get things under control.

I harvested a dozen tomatoes yesterday and a couple of cucumbers, so now I have about four dozen tomatoes laying around and a couple of dozen cucumbers waiting to be processed.

I eat tomatoes on cereal and peanut butter sandwiches these days to get rid of them and I've got funky jars of vinegar and spices I keep slicing cucumbers into to make quick pickles and I still can't keep up with the process.

My neighbors lock their doors and pull their curtains when they see me coming with a Kroger bag bulging with stuff.

All of this from about ten tomato plants and two cucumber vines.

And now my Japanese Eggplant and Squash are starting to come in and I'm actually afraid to walk out in the back yard because instead of just sitting around smoking a cigar and reading the paper I have to WORK when I get out there.

I was going to run the weed eater yesterday and try to knock some stuff down around the plants and a rain storm snuck up on me and it sprinkled on and off for most of the afternoon and by then it was too wet to work outside.

The Herb garden is also rocking and rolling and my Pumpkin and Watermelon vines are crawling all over the place and my pitiful little bell and sweet pepper plants are even starting to have near edible stuff on them and...

...you get my drift.

There's worse things to happen I guess than to have more stuff than you can freeze and eat...all from an ameteur farmer.

(Oh, by the way, the PLC panel is alive now and absorbing electricity and new software but still belching and farting a little yet, so it's time to go back to work I guess.)

My Brain Is Fried

Killing Me Softly...


So as my regular lurkers readers know, I've got this project going on in my basement laboratory which is kicking my butt right now.

It's not that it's so difficult building a single PLC panel, it's that I'm having to build the panel in a manner such that I can reproduce it again--EXACTLY-- in a couple of months.

Instead of just throwing a power supply and a surge suppression system and an uninterruptable battery back up system into a box with a touch screen PLC and a bunch or wires and DIN rail and terminal strips, I'm trying to in the process develop a whole new product line around the design making room for future options and as yet unknown variations.

I'm basically thinking six months to a year down the road on the calendar and the expandability and future uses are more work than the metal box of wire I'm spending twelve to fourteen hours a day looking at on my workbench.

A lot of people that are not an engineers think that we're all like "The Professor" on the TV show "Gilligan's Island" and that we know everything about anything by the time we finish four years (or in my case ten years full and part time) of college.

Not so.

I seem to forget that fact myself sometimes when I go out and write a proposal and then manage to get a purchase order for some monstrosity a customer wants to buy.

Thus yet again this morning I'm too mentally tired and lazy to write much of anything beyond what you see here.

Time for a nap I guess before getting up and doing it all over again I guess...

What Kind Of Conservative Are You?

I Knew It All Along...

My Conservative Identity:

You are an Anti-government Gunslinger, also known as a libertarian conservative or Tea Partier. You believe in smaller government, states’ rights, gun rights, and that, as Reagan once said, "The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’"

Take the quiz at
About.com Political Humor

Go here and take the test yourself...

Heh...

The Silence Of The Lambs Is Deafening

Got To Do The Work When The Work Needs Do'in...

Sorry I didn't write anything yesterday, but I have bad news, Ladies and Gentlemen...

We've had to cancel our long planned visit to lower Alabama next week because of so-called "professional" obligations.

Pat has to go to Chicago for the "kick off meeting" with a new medical client and I'm up to my ears in PLC Panel details and pneumatic valves, thus getting the Turbo Pup and her Lockers and Sea Chests loaded up and into the car around the revised schedule just isn't going to work out.

Dang it...

I can spend weeks on the calendar with little if nothing to do, and darn it if things won't come wandering in the door and screw everything up at the last minute.

This late summer delay is a perfect example.

Almost everyone else I know has taken a week vacation already, but me and Pat and the Turbo Pup have stayed home since Memorial Day.

Now we have planned and wanted to go south in the late summer, but now having to earn a living and the professional obligations associated therewith takes precedence over pleasure and family obligations for the time being.

Oh well...

Up To My Ears In Work

And I'm Leaving Town Soon...So I Have Real "Deadlines"?


I'm sitting here this morning looking at another shipment of eight fancy pneumatic valves which are in desperate need of rebuilding.

They arrived unexpectedly Saturday morning.

It's a good news/bad news sort of thing because now, in addition to trying to finish up the current PLC project before heading down to Lower Alabama for 10 days or so now I have to get the valves torn down, cleaned up, and rebuilt and back out the door in the process before Friday.

It's sad not having anything in the way of paying work to do, but I wish that my paying work would spread itself out a little such that I don't have to go from sitting around picking my nose and smoking cigars on the deck beside the Turbo Pup Pool to working my butt off and causing what's left of the hair on the top the back and sides of my ever greying, ever balding head from falling out in the process.

I see that the Sunday newspaper's here, so in my normal devil may care manner I'm going to go fire up a cigar and take a first look at the NY Times' crossword.

Regard's Y'all...