Ima Buffoon

My New Alter(ed) Ego


In a moment of genius inspired activism, I just signed up for a new Yahoo E-mail account using the name "Ima Buffoon." The address is imabuffoon@yahoo.com if you want to sent me a howdy doo sometime in the future.

Ima's a pretty fun loving yet serious guy, and I'm challenging Ima to wander around the Internet on my behalf over the next few months, torturing the various scam artists that manage to piss me off on TV or via the WWW with offers of things that intelligent people should know better than to believe.

You know--things like "systems" promising unimaginable riches gained through buy low cost foreclosed real estate, E-bay marketing schemes, programs teaching you to make money by placing "little tiny" classified ads in newspapers, hair re-growth concoctions, and pills promising larger male body parts.

Don't the ads and infomercials touting these products bother anyone but me? I'm really tired of the onslaught--free speech issues aside--and I'm going to dive in with my altered ego Ima and find out what's going on from the inside if I can.

This morning Ima got things started with The Home Equity Repositioning people. These guys purport to advise you on how you can borrow your home equity and use the money to buy into some mutual funds and securities they sell.

As if you aren't already making (or losing) enough appreciation on your home investment--these morons are encouraging people to borrow money against their HOUSES and give it to them to pay their sales commissions while they put you and your house at risk in the stock market.

If you think that's a good idea, I have another scheme that you'll find attractive...

Interested?

I have a program to sell your pre-school aged kids each a 9 MM pistol and some ammunition, then I'll give them target training and send them back to your home to be in charge of you and your family's personal security.

You'll never see your little munchkins while they're running around the perimeter of your property in their new camo colored fatigue uniforms...and don't worry, you can borrow the money from your home equity, and the program only costs $10,000 per student.

Such a deal, huh?

The Equity Repositioning website has absolutely no information on it, it's just a data collecting screen that asks for your name, e-mail address, and phone number.

I gave them my real phone number and the Ima Buffoon name and e-mail address, and it will be interesting to see what happens.

I'll keep you informed as the situation develops.

Sixty Six Years Ago

How Soon Most Of Us Forget...


Just in case you aren't paying attention, let me remind you that about 66 years and 9 hours ago from right now the Japanese Navy and Air Forces attacked Pearl Harbor.

We've all seen the movies and read the history books in school, so I really don't have much to say this morning other than to pause to recognise my Aunt and three Uncles--two since deceased--that served in the military during that time in what ended up being called World War II.

None were at Pearl Harbor, but all three served with honor and survived the war unscathed to come back home and live long successful lives enjoying the freedoms they risked their lives for.

It's sad that today, when I look back, all I see is that we as a country and citizens had a Hell of a lot more patriotism and resolution then than we do now, and I regret that we've probably already squandered most of the hard earned advantages and political currency earned by a generation of true War Hero's that believed in the US Constitution, Personal Responsibility, and the original American Dream.

The way I see things, most of today's so called "Dream" is in reality much closer to a freak show or a nightmare to me...

Here's Your Christmas Card

An Oldie But Goodie...

I promised myself that I would get my Christmas shopping done early this year and get my Christmas cards out early also. Unfortunately I didn't have the energy to make my own new cards, so the store bought variety will have to do for the first time in about three years.

There will also have to be no last minute shopping rush for me this year because we're having company for the holidays and I'm going to be busy acting as Head Chef and Island Tour Guide and won't have time to be dashing to the mall to brave the wild eyed masses while dodging sniper fire.

The good news is that all of the shopping will be done as of tomorrow, the cards are laying here beside the computer on the coffee table ready to be addressed, and by scrolling down here you can have your own Christmas Card delivered immediately.













I'll feel free to check Christmas Cards to my Blog Readers off my list now...

(I apologize to any of my regular readers that remember this original PhotoShop image from last year, but it's just too good to not use again...and doing the Owl Gore Hanukkah Card reminded me of my earlier efforts...so here it is.)

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Equal Opportunity Enviro-Whackism

Spreading the Misery Responsibility...


I'm sorry to report this morning that it looks like Owl Gore's Environmental Derangement Psychosis has spread to the Jewish community now during Chanukah.

In a campaign that has spread like wildfire across the Internet, a group of Israeli environmentalists is encouraging Jews around the world to light at least one less candle this Hanukka to help the environment.

The founders of the Green Hanukkia campaign found that every candle that burns completely produces 15 grams of carbon dioxide. If an estimated one million Israeli households light for eight days, they said, it would do significant damage to the atmosphere.

"The campaign calls for Jews around the world to save the last candle and save the planet, so we won't need another miracle," said Liad Ortar, the campaign's cofounder, who runs the Arkada environmental consulting firm and the Ynet Web site's environmental forum. "Global warming is a milestone in human evolution that requires us to rethink how we live our lives, and one of the main paradigms of that is religion and how it fits into the current situation."


Do WHAT???

Leave out a candle from the ritual?

Which one would they have honorable religious people to omit?

The first one?

Don't light the eighth night's candle?

These morons are Jews, and they aught to know better.

So what about leaving dark the Shamash light usually presented in the center highest position in the Menorah?

Is any religious ritual sacred and safe from their assault and scrutiny?

While we're at it let's get the Methodists to dump their Acolytes and/or leave at least one of the two candles dark on their altars every Sunday.

Let's make all of the Christians leave a candle dark on this years Advent Wreaths --that will lower CO2 and reduce global warming by something like 0.000000000000000000000123 degrees Celsius.

And let's not leave the Catholics out--they could stop with the incense burning during Mass and possibly prevent a couple of Locust plague induced crop failures in the Sudan and Ethiopia (...oh...OH...OhhhhhhhhHHHHHH....you live in a Desert...)

Seriously, this whole story is ridiculous, and the people behind it are clearly mindless politically motivated morons asking people to jump on the Man-Made Global Warming bandwagon while making strictly ineffective "SYMBOLIC GESTURES."

The next series of wildfires in the foothills of Malibu will undo everything accomplished by leaving little wax candles unlit by ten fold. The next volcanic eruption on Montserrat or in Micronesia will spew more CO2 and volatile organic hydrocarbons than all of the cars in the US in an entire YEAR.

The ritual surrounding the lighting of the Menorah involves eight or nine little bitty candles sized to burn for about thirty minutes each night, and I think that leaving one out for a silly reason like this is beyond pale.

This is a perfect example of ever increasing politically correct crap which we can look forward to in the future if we don't manage to nip this Climate Change insanity in the bud.

Today it's candles, tomorrow it's your fireplace, your lawnmower, your electric razor, and your chain saw.

By the way, I tried to contact Owl Gores' office for comment, but all I could get was this photo:





(Yes...that's the product of me and my Photoshop skills)


So sue me...

Where's Bob Dole When You Need Him?

I'm Suffering Disenchantment With The Whole Crowd of Candidates


Will someone please call the School Principal or the Hallway Monitor and separate Obama and sHrillary for me before someone gets food thrown on their clothing? I don't know how much further below Kindergarten and First Grade we can sink in what should be an otherwise serious political adult debate.

I fully expect in the next week for someone to pull out Fred Thompson's Vacation Bible School finger paintings and interpret them like Rorschach Inkblots --using them to accuse him of sexual harassment of the volunteer teachers in church, or possibly racism for smearing out an image that vaguely looks like Jesse Jackson having sex with Madonna using a weed eater and a chicken as "marital aides."

Speaking of Bob Dole, while we can blame him for at least 4 years of Bill Clinton's tenure, I sort of miss him walking around speaking of himself in third person (or whatever it is when you address TV cameras and microphones with phrases like "Only Bob Dole speaks for Bob Dole...")

Then there was the omnipresent pen that poor old Bob always carried around in his wounded hand to keep people from noticing that he was in fact a GENUINE war hero and had been wounded in action. If I were him I would have been proud of the abilities he showed and accomplishments he made in spite of his combat injuries.

It would be sort of funny if someone had stabbed John sKerry's ass a couple of times with a ball point pen so he could have, using Dole's logic, wandered around clenching an ink pen is his butt cheeks at campaign events. Imagine the scene when he signed autographs using that method. "Sorry there kid...you'll have to excuse the brown streak...did you know I served in Vietnam?"

Kerry was definitely no Bob Dole in any shape, form, or fashion, else he would have resigned his Senate seat as he started his presidential campaign like Bob did. Then we wouldn't have to have paid his useless carcass for not appearing on the senate floor for a year and a half.

Of course if he'd resigned the Senate Seat he'd be reduced to carrying Mrs. Heinz's purse and polishing the calluses and bunions on her feet these days, because I doubt that even the glorious State of Massachusetts, home for Ted "Jabba The Hut" Kennedy, would bring him back to congress once he'd given up incumbency.

Come to think of it, maybe Senator Dole was on to something back then--using a prop in an attempt to distract people from defects that they find personally embarrassing as a political candidate.

For instance, today I think Fred Thompson should consider carrying around copies of old Video Tapes of episodes of Law and Order and the movies he's appeared in looking Presidential. Let's face it, I'm afraid that's the only way many people are going to see him in that light based on the performance of his campaign thus far.

As for sHrillary Rodham-Clinton, I think that she could mount herself on Bill Clinton-Clinton's back like the pair of actors calling themselves "Master Blaster" in the Mad Max-Beyond Thunderdome movie.

Then Bill would have to walk around everywhere all day wearing her while she bitches at him and does that cackling laugh of hers at debate questions. Using the toilet and taking a shower could become a bit of a problem with that arrangement however.

Here's a look of what they'd look like in Iowa next month:





Obama...now he's a little more difficult...let's see....

I know, he could be forced to wander around from event to event holding a sign that says something like "Remember I'm Black...remember I WAS Muslim...but today I'm not a BLACK MUSLIM..."

Does anyone buy that story?

Ron Paul is a little tougher still.

No, he's actually easy. Mr. Paul could come out with a line of T-shirts with the saying "I'm With Stupid" with an arrow pointing upwards towards his own face.

I guess that I could go on and on here, but my inspiration is becoming less funny on a moment by moment basis. I think that I'll leave things at that.

Please feel free to leave a comment and tell me if you come up with anything obvious on the other candidates, and I may come back by later if I come up with something else on my own.

I'm Developing My Own Weapons of ASS Mass Destruction

Filibustering My Way To Insanity Infamy


I'm just beside myself. I don't know what to say this morning folks.

I was actually in a bit of a bind figuring out what to write about, then I stumbled onto this story...

I saw some Pinhead on TV on MSNBC interviewing some captive commentators (you know...so called experts like Pat Buchanan and some other talking head media morons) about the revised US Intelligence estimate stating that regardless of what we've heard on the news for the past two thousand years, Iran really stopped developing Nuclear weapons in 2003.

If you don't believe that story, other versions are printed here, here, and even here at the NY Times.

The MSNBC Pinhead moderator was already on the "Bush Lied" mantra, while I'm sitting here wondering why everyone is willing to ignore the bullshit uttered by Iran's own little Capuchin Monkey look-alike dictator:

...statements basically admitting that Iran has Nuclear refinement technology beyond that NEEDED TO SUPPORT A PEACEFUL ELECTRICAL POWER GENERATION PROGRAM, and saying that they (the Iranians) have the right to develop nuclear powered handbags and suitcases to lob into your living rooms and stow on airliners for your enjoyment and demise in the future.

As I recall, a stupid dead SOB named Saddam Hussain kept on pounding his hammers and rattling the swords in this same manner back a few years ago before we captured his rat bastard ass and his fellow citizens stretched his neck to the point of breaking.

My point here is this...

I you don't want the US Marine corps to tear your door off the hinges or the US Navy to fly a GPS guided Cruise missile up your butt, stop with the rhetoric, because the partisan liberal idiot professional morons down at the US State Department and the so called "Intelligence Agencies" apparently spend more time watching old "Get Smart" 1960's TV reruns than they do actually gathering any Intelligence.

If I were Bush I'd be walking around poking people with a pointy stick and kicking their butts with my size 13 boots...but instead I'm relegated to delivering commentary here on my measly little website safely sequestered in rural coastal Georgia. (if ever you piss me off enough and I manage to get close enough to grab hold of you and bite you, believe me that I'm taking something important like your nose with me...so keep that in mind in the future.)

And while you're at it, stop blaming the President and the White house for the failings of these Partisan "PROFESSIONAL INTELLIGENCE" shitheads...It's Bush's fault he let them keep their jobs when he took office after Clinton hired them in the 1990's, but it's not his fault that they lied to him and the American public or just plain missed the truth when they wandered into the sandy abyss to do their jobs.

After all, grumpy old Helen Thomas and the balance of the White house press corps would have soiled their undergarments and had public conniption fits should he have kicked them to the curb like sHrillary Rodham-Clinton would have done in the same situation.

Dammit.

Back To The Real World

Building Fantasy...


Well, I reluctantly walked out of the Ritz Theater a little after 3 PM Sunday afternoon having turned over my set and giant puppet to the actors and stage crew.

I've done all I can do with it...the rest is up to them.

I think that I just might feel like the parent of a little first grader on the first day of school....I sure hope everything performs as expected.

On projects like this there are always things that you would have liked to have done or could have done differently in retrospect, but I think that I exceeded 90% of my own expectations and the cast was pretty impressed with the results of my efforts. I got the electronics installed just in time for a couple of trial runs and the strobe light eyes really make the scene effective and scary.

Now I have to buckle down and turn my attention back to my for-profit construction efforts with the arrival of the new windows and a few thousand pounds of unmixed concrete this week.

I wish that someone would volunteer to come over and help me for a few days for free...but that's not how the world works.



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All The Math I Needed To Know

I Learned By The Ninth Grade...


From time to time in my public service career I have some interesting revelations and insights about teaching science and math to today's children.

Since I don't have any kids of my own, it is through my work with the theater and one of the local high schools which brings me into contact with the occasional rare student that asks the question: "how did you figure that out?"

In answering these little darlin's questions, of course I could as a matter of pride drag out my calculus books and differential equations textbook--all giant, dusty hardcover tomes with which my instructors tortured me while I was attempting to make my way through the first couple of years at Georgia Tech back in the late 1970's.

Instead, thus far I've resisted that urge and tried to keep things simple.

I usually just mention how I use a handheld calculator to solve simple little things like the Pythagorean Theorem and Sine/Cosine/Tangent functions that most college bound children learn in middle school.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure how far my attempts at putting a practical insight into the use of apparently mundane subjects goes when it comes to inspiring academic excellence, but I'm darn sure of how easy my ongoing mastery of those subjects makes my life on a day to day basis.

Tonight I'm working on the pre-planning for the final Ghost of Christmas Future fabrication later this morning, and in that process a working knowledge of basic geometry concepts are all that I need to lay out the shape of the "tether lanyard" that keeps Mr. Ghost Puppet from crashing down across Scrooge while "leaning down in the middle of his face with flashing red strobe light eyes." (you know what I mean here Rusty...)

I did have to cheat a little by employing some of my Sophomore year college Statics Structures class to fine tune the details, but the basic geometry was still the key to problem.

I really wish that our schools could employ more hands-on educational solutions instead of computer labs and diversity sermons--employing things like balsa wood, wooden dowels, or PVC pipe in lab sessions in order to demonstrate the usefulness of mathematics concepts. I'm building giant pyramids featured on football fields and humongous puppets seen on the theater stage using the exact same simple concepts.

At the same time, it would also be nice if they taught things like (real) economics, household budgeting, credit management, and how to balance a checkbook.

Is it just ME???

The Ghost Of Christmas Future Lives

Almost Finished...

Do You Need A Hand With That?

I've Got A Few Extra...Hands that is...


At the risk of appearing to be pompous, I thought that I'd give everyone a look at the new HP computer and 22" widescreen monitor presently residing back in Pat's office.

My "Ghost of Christmas Future" hands are also seen there wandering around testing out the keyboard at the moment.

Unfortunately, I'm afraid to go out into the Garage right now because this thing is lurking around in the shadows.

Is that not hideous looking, or what?

(don't worry, it's not done yet...I'm just waiting for a secondary application of foam to set up so I can do some more carving.)




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30 Days Has September, April, June, And November

Spinning Your Way Through The 2007 Hurricane Season...


Darn it all Ladies and Gentlemen, but I swear that most of the basic problems with the "professional media" today have to be centered upon their personal, professional, and corporate investment in the political interpretation of the cause and outcome of the "so called news story" at hand rather than the reporting of the DETAILS of what got the people involved into the situation to begin with and what we could learn from the final RESULTS of the event when it was all said and done.

(ANGRY WHITE MALE REDNECK BLOGGER NOTE...Yes, I realize that my last sentence, which was also presented as a single paragraph, according to MS Word, contains a total of 86 words--so sue me or go somewhere else on the Internet if you don't like it or otherwise can't keep up with writing aimed at people with greater than an 8th grade education.)

Now back to my original thesis...

I was sitting here working on the details of Mr. Ghost Puppet's Skeletal Head while The Weather Channel was droning on in the background, and they managed to get my attention with THEIR OWN VERSION OF THE LIBERAL MEDIAS' REVISIONISTIC STORY ABOUT THE PAST SIX OR SEVEN MONTHS WE'VE LIVED THROUGH HERE ON OUR LITTLE ISLAND...

Let me remind my regular readers that I CHOOSE to live within less than two miles of the Atlantic Ocean. Let me tell my driveby readers that I can walk outside right now and smell the adjacent salt marsh and hear the surf breaking when we have north east winds.

That said...Get ready...

Sit Down...I'm gonna blow...

Ready?

(Gasp)

Today is the last day of the 2007 Hurricane season.

Hurray.

I insensitively say "Hurray" because no one died here in the Continental US as a result of a landfalling Hurricane this year, but I also recognise that a whole bunch of poor people died and/or were displaced from their homes in Mexico and Central America as a result of two giant category five storms.

I also pray that the media and the liberals and the local foreign governments will rapidly move toward making the same improvements to their own infrastructures that we've enjoyed here in the Gulf Coastal areas of the United By-God States of America.

Instead of bitching and complaining and blaming people and administrations, I'd rather see progress based on using the same technology which the American taxpayer has already bought and paid for.

Regardless of the outcome, the TV faces over at the Weather Channel were blabbering on and on about how the Hurricane Season was really still a bad thing and that we shouldn't get complacent because Katrina II was coming back to jump into our bedrooms next year...the weather gods just chose to give the Republicans a break and attack somewhere else because ...just because...

What really jerks my chain is that the National Hurricane Center, a supposed bastion of science, has even resorted to going to what I call "Instant Replay" mode

They've decided that Hurricane Karen --previously only identified as a Crack Whore Tropical Storm--actually attained Hurricane strength while assaulting a bunch of crabs and jellyfish wandering around offshore of Barbados and Angullia.

So there was actually one more Hurricane this season that didn't make a damn to me or Allstate Insurance company...whoop te doo.

(Taking another big breath and collecting my thoughts...)

Bottom line is...I believe that the lamestream media can't stand this situation.

It doesn't fit their "template"

This because the slums and public housing projects haven't been rebuilt in New Orleans--so why waste a perfectly good act of GOD result of OWL Gore's much lamented human capitalist induced Global Warming?

Just change the words and results to fit your agenda and toss it out there for public constipation consumption.

When I think about it, all I have to say is that I guess that the mean old Republicans got their money's worth out of the efforts of George Bush, Dick Cheney, and Carl Rove.

New Hands Clapping

Head Stuck In A Vise...


I made a hasty visit to the theater for a couple of hours yesterday to do some work, and I took my new giant hands along with me to let them get used to the venue they'd be working in starting next Tuesday and to meet the theater staff.

In addition to putting a few finishing touches on the set, while we were there I also took the opportunity to introduce my giant hands to their new arms and spine.

Everyone got along just fabulously, although they came back home with me last night in order to help me with their giant skull head which is still in fabrication mode.

Currently this morning I'm glancing at my wristwatch every few minutes and tapping my foot on the floor (and drumming my giant wood and latex fingers on the table) while we're waiting on the second casting of Great Stuff expandable foam (four cans worth) to cure around the internal plywood support bracket so I can release my monstrosity from the 18" x 18" x 16" high cardboard box it currently resides within.

Today is a big day in the two week construction window with the fabrication of the separate copper toothed jaw in the morning and the carving and finishing of the balance of the skeletal head with a latex resin and fiber mesh material that arrived via UPS from New York City yesterday.

Then there is the final assembly of the electrical system with things like soldering of wires, heat shrink tubing, rechargable batteries, switches, strobe controller cirucits, and problems as yet to be discovered that always pop up at the last minute while trying to do good deeds.

You'll have to excuse me, because I've got to go check what's going on with my my head now (something that many readers have been saying that I should do for a few years.)

My Observations On The Clinton News Network CNN YouBOOB YouTube Republican Debate

And The Beat Goes On...


Sorry, but I managed to miss most of last night's live broadcast of the big Republican debate because I was lying on the sofa with my eyes closed while recovering from dinner, but I caught most of it early this morning on the reruns.

Just Damn...

Besides seeing Fred Thompson still asleep at the Helm, I guess I finally agree that Ron Paul is a whacko, McCain's still angry about being a POW in Vietnam, Rudy's fading a bit, and Mitt Romney and Huckabee seem to be hitting their stride going into Iowa.

CNN, as usual, filled part of the event with bullshit loaded questions while hiding behind the "YouTube" Crowd...questions that they would have never, ever, Ever, EVER thrown at sHrillary, Obama, and the Democratic Presidential wannabees.

Things like "what would Jesus do" in reference to the Death Penalty, "Do you believe EVERYTHING in this book" (showing a King James Bible), and some moron with a Confederate Flag that everyone on the panel refused to address directly.

What a totally rediculous low blow--letting some idiot toss the confederate flag into the ring in 2007. I've had my confederate flags folded up and hidden in the root cellar since about 1990--but CNN apparently still thinks that with the retirement of Trent Lott that there has to be some KKK alumni out there still running for president.

The Coup de Gras, in my opinion, was CNN letting one of sHrillary Rodham--Clinton's campaign officials ask a question on YouTube.

I knew that the question was loaded as soon as it hit the airwaves--I just didn't know that the guy was a Clinton campaign guy doing the asking.

Of course CNN claims that they didn't know that retired US Army Colonel Keith Kerr was actually a member of Senator sHrillary Clinton's Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transexual Americans For Hillary Steering Committee.

He's also part of a film production crew trying overturn the US Military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy (a product of the Bill Clinton--Clinton Administration.)

All I know is that these #@%*!ing morons over at CNN obviously don't give a damn that they're going to get caught doing crap like this, and further, even if they do get called out, enough of the American voting population doesn't read my blog and don't follow the news closely enough to understand the bias and unfairness of the process.

I swear people, I'm ready to move to Costa Rica or Belize if the Republicans do another debate with CNN, and I'm going to take the Fred Thompson Ad off of this blog if the man doesn't wake up and start running a legitimate campaign.

DAMMIT...

UPDATE: 6:22 AM

I was still wincing at CNN on TV while working on the Skeleton hands when their own news broadcast reminded me that not only did they let Colonel Kerr ask the YouTube pre-recorded question, but they also had him live during the debate in the audience to follow up with his admission that he was GAY and had served in the military for forty odd years without any problems (read that getting his ass kicked by his fellow solders.)

Don't get me wrong here because a) I'm not really anti-Gay, b) I haven't been in the military since the late 1970's and c) I really don't give a damn what kind of rules the government (read that Congress) issues as long as the bullets and bombs we use hit their intended targets every single time someone pulls a trigger or pushes a button.

If you have a hairy chest and want to wear a bra while sitting in a Foxhole or have your Mr. Pee Pee cut off and replaced with God knows what other body part (perhaps another knee or elbow?) just keep your clothes on and keep your hands off my butt and the butts of your fellow soldiers who or whom are not of like mind and everything will be just hunky dory.

But... (or maybe I should say BUTT in this instance...sorry..I couldn't resist the inuendo)

CNN had to know who the heck Keith Kerr was because The New Republic has this link to the transcript of his appearance on a CNN broadcast entitled "Gays In The Military: 10 Years Of Unfair Policies" aired on December 11, 2003.

When it's all said and done, all I want to know is how much longer are YOU going to put up with crap like this from your so called independent professional media?

I Almost Forgot

Here's What Dinner Looked Like Here Tuesday Night...

That would be my version of this Paella Recipe. In addition to a cup of rice and a pinch of
Saffron, mine had Sausage, Chicken, and Shrimp; but I left out the Clams because Pat is still afraid of a lot of seafood.

It was simple to make, and good to eat--You should try cooking it sometime.

Time to go fool with my skeleton hands again...

Hands Take Shape

Larger Than Life...And Capable of Changing Channels


Here's a look at the goings on on my kitchen table recently (the remote control laying there is over 8" long):

(click on the photo for a bigger view)


The hand in the foreground has a couple of coats of gauze and liquid latex already in place, and the one in the background gives you a glimpse of the 20 pieces of wooden dowel ranging in diameter from 3/8" to 7/8" that makes up the wired together "skeleton."

I've already got the head half cast out of expandable urethane foam and the electrical components (red strobe eyes and blue lighting for the inside of the mouth) are mocked up and working.

This thing is going to cause some kids to pee their pants if we're not careful.

I guess that I'm just a baaaaaaaaaddddddDDDDDD man.

I believe that I'll wear that description with honor.

The Dumbass Of The Day

Just In Case You Missed The Story...


Some guy from Georgia tried to open a bank account in South Carolina using a $1,000,000.00 bill as his deposit.

The employee refused to open the account and called police while the man started to curse at bank workers, Frank said.

And you wonder why many of us here in the south can't keep the rest of the planet from thinking we're STUPID?

And another thing...If you're gonna break the law, at least listen to your mother and be polite while you're doing the crime.

The Religion's Name Which Shall Not Be Spoken

Don't Anyone Start Calling a Muslim Youth a Muslim Youth


I just learned this morning that some people described by the ASSociated Press only as "Minority Youth" are running around burning buildings and cars and shooting at French police officers again over the past few days in the suburbs of Paris France.

VILLIERS-LE-BEL, France - Youths rampaged for a third night in the tough suburbs north of Paris and violence spread to a southern city late Tuesday as police struggled to contain rioters who have burned cars and buildings and — in an ominous turn — shot at officers.

A senior police union official warned that "urban guerrillas" had joined the unrest, saying the violence was worse than during three weeks of rioting that raged around French cities in 2005, when firearms were rarely used.

Bands of young people set more cars on fire in and around Villiers-le-Bel, the Paris suburb where the latest trouble first erupted, and 22 youths were taken into custody, the regional government said. In the southern city of Toulouse, 20 cars were set ablaze, and fires at two libraries were quickly brought under control, police said.

Despite the renewed violence, France's prime minister said the situation was calmer than the two previous nights. About 1,000 officers patrolled trouble spots in and around Villiers-le-Bel on Tuesday, he said.

The government was striving to keep violence from spreading in what was shaping up as a stern test for new President Nicolas Sarkozy. The unrest showed anger still smolders in France's poor neighborhoods, where many Arabs, blacks and other minorities [emphasis mine-vrr] live largely isolated from the rest of society.

The trigger was the deaths Sunday of two minority teens when their motorscooter collided with a police car in Villiers-le-Bel, a blue-collar town on Paris' northern edge.

Residents claimed the officers left without helping the teens. Prosecutor Marie-Therese de Givry denied that, saying police stayed on the scene until firefighters arrived.

But wait a minute...I thought that Europe was a model of tolerance, and I thought that France specifically had solved most of societies' problems with 30 hour work weeks and other liberal government supplied benefits?

Further...where's New York Al "torch the place and kill your White Oppressor" Sharpton when the disenfranchised Parisian suburbanites need him for Public Relations?

Sorry folks, but this is all simply a replay or continuation of the rioting and disorder that happened in 2005 when primarily young immigrant citizens of France--primarily of Black Muslim descent from Northern Africa--staged mass protests and burned thousands of cars and did millions of dollars of damage to private property of innocent bystanders and the public buildings in and around the cities of France.

I did a little further checking around on the News websites and English. Aljazeera, The LA Times, and the BBC Website all elect to mention the nationality of the criminals only in passing.

How long before we see the same kind of "unrest" here at home in North America on a daily basis, and how soon are we going to be forbidden from pointing out the true source--the radical segment of the religion of Islam--as the problem?

Yeah...I thought so...

Dickens Set Complete

Ghost Puppet Still In Skeletal Form...


Well, the good news is that I'm basically done with the sawdust phase of my Christmas set construction effort this year.

That is, of course, because the current project represents the simplest version of the three productions of Dicken's "A Christmas Carol" that I've supported at Brunswick's Ritz Theater thus far.

Heather wanted a really simple backdrop this year because there are 29 kids and 1 adult in the cast and complex sets and gaggles of children generally don't mix in the theater business--particularly when the kids are all under the age of 12 years old.

My air compressor, pneumatic brad gun, and stapler made quick work of the thin plywood panels and wooden trim installation, and now I'm down to finish casting and detailing the foam Ghost Puppet of Christmas Future's head and wiring together it's giant dowel segmented hands.

Of course there is the little detail of installing the electrical wiring for the red strobe light eyes and green strobes in the mouth, but those are just last minute details that I have until the weekend to work out.

Tomorrow will see the foam casting process completed, followed by some shopping for final supplies as we begin the mad rush toward opening night on December 4th.

Then there has to be some Christmas shopping thrown in for good measure, but I've pretty well got the list figured out and it's just a matter of getting it into boxes and out on a UPS truck.

Hope y'all are all having as much fun as I'm having these days...

Media Mental Malaise?

Or Just Plain Indifference?


I don't know about you, but right now it would be very easy for me to just turn off the TV, stop buying the newspaper, and disconnect my Internet connection from news sources and just smile my way through the balance of 2007.

I feel like I have it coming this holiday season.

I don't give a crap what the retailers think of the money I didn't spend at the Mall last Friday because I stayed home.

I don't give a crap what Fred Thompson thinks about FOX News' potential bias against his lackluster campaign.

And I definitely don't care that some liberal bleeding heart moron thinks that natural disasters have increased four fold in the past twenty years.

I'm so lazy this morning, I don't even care to give you the links to those stories--so I guess that you'll have to do your own Google search if you want to read about what I don't care about.

I've got a giant head and two skeletal hands to build, and with any luck I have a couple thousand dollars of windows showing up in town from Virginia for my construction effort-- so I hope you understand if I'm a bit short of words here on the blog this week.

Other than that...everything's just Peachy down here in paradise.

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I'm A Theater Scab

Crossing The Picket Lines


It hadn't even occurred to me until reading the Internet News this morning that I might be accidentally breaking some kind of "Union Rules" via my involvement with the set construction over at the Ritz Theater this past week.

Should I be looking over my shoulder in downtown Brunswick for some of the "Stage Hands Union Thugs" skulking around in the shadows?

After all, I'm not a Union Member.

I'm not much of a fan of Unions either.

I understand why Unions have existed through history, but I also think that today most unions and most fervent union members eat used kitty litter are dope smoking inbred morons are the equivalent of gangsters because they choose to hold a gun to the heads of their employers rather than work for a living and let market forces determine their pay scale and benefits.

Gone are the days when unions fought child labor abuses and deadly workplace conditions--now they want two months of paid "family leave" and six figure income for stock boys working at Wal Mart.

I've never been in a union and to me union mentality is the equivalent of college Fraternity mentality--mindless group think--with the emphasis being on "mental" and the underlying concept being the support of a bunch of otherwise useless and weak morons that can't hold a job and justify their pay without the threat from some outside force or "workplace action."

These latest strikes by the Screen Writers Guild and the Stage Hands crowd is a perfect example. What a bunch of useless overpaid losers. I guess that the Patchouli Vendors Association and the Cannabis Clothing and Furniture Covering Vendors of America Local #666 can't be far behind on the walk out list--then we're in real trouble

Way back in the early 1980's I had the pleasure of working as a the lead non-union employee for my manufacturing company doing the start up of a custom compressed air dryer installed in a paper mill in New Bern North Carolina.

New Bern was a beautiful idyllic town on the river tributary Atlantic coast region near the southern end of North Carolina's outer banks and Ocracoke island. I ended up spending several weeks there and the location was awesome to behold.

BUT...

the Weyerhauser Paper mill was staffed with inbred, slack jawed, mouth breathing UNION MEMBERS that couldn't get over the bad feelings that still lingered there from an extended strike which was finally broken by management in the mid 1970's.

They had separate bathrooms and break rooms for union and non-union employees.

They had pay phones and coke machines that you couldn't use unless you had a Union Card in you wallet.

All of this Bullshit from LIBERALS...DEMOCRATS by and large...the one in the same people that today criticise conservatives for being divisive and closed minded.

So any way, these highly paid UNION ASSHOLES couldn't understand why myself and my co-worker should be allowed to enter what they considered to be "Their Paper Mill" (although it was actually owned by the stockholders of Weyerhauser corporation) and be allowed to do electrical work and millwright work in support of our non-union Georgia employer.

Warranty work included in the base price of the equipment. Something like one hundred thousand dollars at the time.

I'm lucky to be here today writing this blog posting, because if it were up to at least one of the lovely UNION EMPLOYEES at that Weyerhauser Mill, I would be dead today because the individual thought it would be funny to reactivate the dedicated 480 volt three phase high amperage circuit breaker powering our equipment while we were away from the plant and if I hadn't elected to check the breaker before beginning work I would be dead Dead DEAD right now.

Of course this coincided with the Union writing a formal complaint stating that we were't electrical union members and therefore presented a hazard and were unsafe to work in the plant.

All I have to say is..."Screw those UNION ASSHOLES", because this home boy had enough sense to buy a couple of padlocks and change the circuit breaker at my company's expense in order to lock and tag off the power supply in order to prevent their predicted accident premeditated Murder.

All of that crap over "employment issues"

Imagine that?


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