Standing Room Only

Don't You Wish YOU Were Going To Be At Our House On Thursday?


I've just now gotten through putting together my final shopping list and menu for my concoctions to be served to our crowd for Thanksgiving Dinner.

Since Mr. Turkey spent last night in the Fridge not thawing out, he/she's been relocated to the giant brinning pot situated inside a big Coleman cooler in the kitchen in order to raise it's internal thermodynamic energy while at the same time preventing the growth of anything intent on causing me to kill myself or my holiday guests in the process of cooking and serving the ornery bird.

After spending tonight exposed indirectly to the ambient conditions of the kitchen, tomorrow I'll dump a nice mixture of water, apple cider vinegar, white vinegar, kosher salt, black peppercorns, and some Kristal hot sauce into the pot and then surround everything in between with an ice water mixture contained in the cooler--all the while praying that it all finishes thawing by Thursday about noon.

In addition to the Brined and Roasted Turkey stuffed with Sage Sausage & apple dressing, our guests can look forward to the following menu:

Appetizers

Home made Spiced Mixed Nuts
Oysters Rockefeller
Prosciutto wrapped Sea Scallops

Main Course

Red Cabbage with Apricots and Balsamic Vinegar
Creamed Red Potatoes
Porcine Mushroom Gravy
Cornbread Dressing

Being the contrarian that I am, you might notice that I've omitted the obsequious "Green Bean Casserole" from my menu.

Also, our guests have demanded to be responsible for the dessert course.

As a warning, I have to report that if you bring Green Beans into my house this week in any form except raw and offered as a gift for future consumption, I'm going to have some kind of a cosmic conniption fit and hurt myself or someone else in the process; because I'm VERY TIRED of eating and even smelling green beans with French Onions on top (even if I only eat them once or twice a year for nearly a half century.)

With my cooking skills, does that little quirk make me a bad guy?

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