Would Somebody Please Kill Me

Hello...Doctor Kevorkian?


Dammit, it's that time in my life again.

Time to buy a new computer...this one for Pat.

One would think that, for a long time computer nerd, buying a new machine with lots of bells and whistles and a 22" flat screen monitor would be something akin to a psychic or sexual experience.

You'd be wrong however, because of the idiots you encounter in retail computer establishments and the processes you're forced to endure if you make your purchase online.

After several days of research online, we staggered over to Office Depot, Staples, and Circuit City on Sunday afternoon armed with model numbers of hardware that, according to the respective websites, was supposed to be in stock.

Nope.

Just like when I bought my HP widescreen notebook a year ago, the store employees had no idea what they had in inventory, and the computers displayed were a subset/superset of the things advertised in the newspaper and online. Nothing would allow you to compare apples with apples, or apples with HP's (excuse the pun.)

I walked out of the store after twenty minutes of tripping over a gaggle of customers worrying about video game capability and wild eyed pimple faced kids who weren't born when I first laid my hands on an IBM PC.

Meanwhile, back online, after massive additional research, and with credit card in hand, I discovered that Capitol One's new computer system upgrade had scrambled my personal information and, in spite of having paid the card balance off in the past week, their fraud department was blocking my charge because I didn't have a history of charging four digit amounts in one lump sum.

Dammit.

After three tries and an hour on hold on the telephone with the credit card company, I just got the order processed. What a total pain in the butt.

Since I'm having the machine custom built, now I have to wait until the week after Thanksgiving to lay my hands on the new wireless keyboard.

I think that I'll go smoke a nice cigar now in celebration.