My Personal Earth Day

Help Me Offset Owl Gore's Giant Carbon Footprint...


Good Gosh but things have gotten complicated when it comes to Government regulations affecting what you can and can not pack in your stuff when moving.

The "No Explosives" rule I understand for obvious reasons, but "No batteries?"

No cleaning solutions?

No paint?

What about fingernail polish--does that count as paint?

And what about the contents of the liquor cabinet?

Screw it...since I'm paying the freight tab I'm tossing whatever I want to into a box labeled "photos" and I dare the Feds to say anything to me in route or on the other end.

For those of you that are interested, in addition to spending today filling and tapeing giant cardboard boxes, here's my plans regarding the celebration of "Earth Day"

6:00 AM ... Pass Gas (Done)

6:15 AM... Pass More Gas (very satisfying sound...with a slight hint of last night's steak dinner)

6:31 AM... Take giant swig of water and belch heartily

7:04 AM...Throw away batteries from portable devices

7:30 AM...Dump solvents down kitchen drain

7:59 Am...Start up Suburbans 454 cubic inch gas guzzling V8 engine and let idle a half hour

...and so on and so on...You get the idea.

I say that if enough of us lard assed middle aged, ever greying, ever balding curmudgeons get together today we can teach the tree huggin snot nosed sniveling liberals a lesson or two about the resiliency of our planet.

Man Made Climate Change???

Bah Humbug