"Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."
"Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it."
"Weather forecast for tonight: Dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning."
"If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor."
"By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth."
"Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?"
"I don’t like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions.
"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
" Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr."
"In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem."
" The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment."
"Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit."
"Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it’s because at the moment they’re not actually dying."
"So far, this is the oldest I’ve been."
"I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it."
You didn't have to agree with everything he said or how he said it, but he was funny...I don't care who you are...
R.I.P. Mr. Carlin (5/12/37-6/22/08)
1 comment:
I must tell you that I am devastated over the death of Mr. Carlin. His humor was smart, not just profane!
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