Outsmarting Myself

With More Than A Little Help From My Vendors...


There was a time in my life when days like today would have made me start screaming and throwing things around the job site. I try not to get that angry and act like that any more, but I certainly have good reason to be more than a little upset with my window vendor as of about one thirty this afternoon.

I was literally ready to starting squirting Silicone Caulk into the window framing when I realized something was seriously wrong.

From the very beginning I've had to beg them for information. First the guy I'm working with is hardly ever in the office and he's the only one that apparently handles the MW Windows product line. The week I got pricing the factory was heavily damaged by a tornado, and every time I've called I always have to wait for the guy to call me back.

I went over to pick up data sheets on the windows back in the summer and he gave me the Vinyl sheet even though I was wanting wood--saying that every style was the same and used the same rough opening dimensions and he didn't have the wood data sheet.

When I bought the windows and went down to deliver my deposit check, the guy wasn't there.

When I called to schedule the delivery last month the guy wasn't there either, so it wasn't surprising that he also wasn't in the building when I called today to get an explanation for why the three new rough openings I had just finished sealing into the new sheathed wall with tar paper and insulating tape were 2'-8" wide x 3'-10" high, and my windows were 2'-9 1/2" wide x 4'-1" high.

Oh the coworker told me--everyone knows that you buy vinyl windows based on the rough opening dimensions, where wood windows are sized based on the actual sash dimensions.

NEWS TO ME...I ASKED WHEN I GOT THE DATA SHEET AND I SPECIFIED THE ROUGH OPENING DIMS ON THE PHONE WHEN I PLACED THE ORDER.

Needless to say, since there is nothing in writing, and since the windows were custom built, that there is no sending them back IF I were willing to wait for them to be rebuilt, so tomorrow morning I'll be taking my Sawsall and mutilating my beautiful symmetrical wall framework--carving out the headers and jack/cripple studs, punching holes in my carefully taped vapor barrier to make room to re-hack enlarge the rough window holes with my circular saw.

That's a good way to spend a Saturday--wasting five or six additional hours re-doing something that would have and should have only taken four to do right in the first place.

Thanks to all the lovely people over at Varsity Supply...you really have made my day.

(What really kills me is that the windows have been stored on site for nearly a month and I was working off AutoCAD drawings done at home with the data sheet, and not once did I ever think to check the window sizes with a tape measure--I just read the stickers and saw 2-8 x 3-10 designation and continued wandering ignorantly along in my journey. All I can say is that it really sucks being a near Freaking Genius when almost half the population can apparently barely read else just doesn't give a damn.)

Back To Reality The Job Site Again

Cold Weather Construction


I'm sitting here this morning watching the thermometer and basking in the warm glow I get when thinking about the upside down apple cart that was the Democratic Caucus in Iowa yesterday.

I harbor no real ill will toward the Lamestream Media and ardent Democrats, but I think that it's hilarious when the pundits and the prognosticators get things so TOTALLY WRONG as they did when they wanted to declare sHrillary Queen of the Universe when she entered the race last year.

I have the same attitude toward sports people that want to hang their hats on Football and Basketball rankings instead of waiting for the actual games to be played in order to determine who has the best five or eleven players.

Any way, when it hits 48 or 50 degrees outside we're heading over to Brunswick to finish the tarpaper vapor barrier on the new addition and install three new double hung windows in what will eventually be the dining room.

Then next week I'd like to get the new front door installed and the siding and trim on the front of the building so we can put a For Sale sign in the front yard and get this show on the road.

I've got a giant chunk of my cash invested in this project and I'm tired of waiting on appreciation to yield an increase in my paper net worth--I think that it's time to see some evidence of my financial success in my bank balance in the next eight to ten weeks.

The good news is that by selling this spring before the Democrats start screwing around with the Capital Gains Tax again, I'm looking at something like a 5% tax rate on the profits of taking the risk to renovate a property in an economically depressed, minority part of a Southern US City.

Of course there are people out there that lament me attempting to make a profit off of "poor people"--they think that I should GIVE my time and resources to the "less fortunate" else let the government steal my money and spend it on their behalf while denying me any say in the process.

I'd say that overall this exercise has been a success, because you don't pay FICA/FUTA/Social Security Tax on Rental income and with the lower Capital Gains Taxes I've basically beat the system--keeping more of my money for my benefit while at the same time improving the social condition of our community...something the government and liberals love to talk about but rarely accomplish.

sHrillary Finishes Third In Iowa

Heh...


You couldn't PAY me to be on a broom stick an airplane with her tonight. Small children probably aren't safe from her wrath.

(go Fred go Fred go Fred)

One Hand Clapping

Other In Pocket Keeping Warm...


Let's see...what's going on out there today...geez...it's 28 degrees F outside...I've got body parts starting to shrivel up and fall off if I'm not careful.

In other news, my Mom's having a birthday today--Happy Birthday Mom.

Last year at this time we were getting ready for a big surprise party at the local bed and breakfast inn with her siblings and her fellow Red Hatters. No such luck this year Mom, but happy birthday anyway...stay warm there with the Tom Cat.

What else...

Oh yeah...out in Iowa the media is in a full blown salivating frenzy as something less than 1/2 million people attempt to decide the fate of the governance of the free world in some inane process called a "caucus."

Then this...McDonalds is dumping the McRib Sandwich for good. I can't say that I rue that event, because I never ate a McRib, but I do look forward to the new McPossum and McArmadillo feasts coming out later in 2008.

Meanwhile, I delivered another $300 worth of materials to the job site yesterday, but it's just too cold with the wind chill down in the teens to get anything done today, so I guess we'll stay home and finish tearing down Christmas lights and boxing up decorations. I had to buy four more jumbo storage containers at Lowe's yesterday just to contain the new stuff that arrived by UPS and was lugged home and in through the front door in the process of the seasonal celebrations.

Something else that caught my eye this morning was news stories about the FAA implementing some kind of ban on Lithium batteries in checked baggage. I did a little Googling, and as usual the rocket scientists in the media are all over the map with the details, so I went straight to the horse's mouth to the FAA Website for the straight poop:

Effective January 1, 2008, the following rules apply to the spare lithium batteries you carry with you in case the battery in a device runs low:

Spare batteries are the batteries you carry separately from the devices they power. When batteries are installed in a device, they are not considered spare batteries.

You may not pack a spare lithium battery in your checked baggage

You may bring spare lithium batteries with you in carry-on baggage – see our spare battery tips and how-to sections to find out how to pack spare batteries safely!

Even though we recommend carrying your devices with you in carry-on baggage as well, if you must bring one in checked baggage, you may check it with the batteries installed.

The following quantity limits apply to both your spare and installed batteries. The limits are expressed in grams of “equivalent lithium content.” 8 grams of equivalent lithium content is approximately 100 watt-hours. 25 grams is approximately 300 watt-hours:

Under the new rules, you can bring batteries with up to 8-gram equivalent lithium content. All lithium ion batteries in cell phones are below 8 gram equivalent lithium content. Nearly all laptop computers also are below this quantity threshold.

You can also bring up to two spare batteries with an aggregate equivalent lithium content of up to 25 grams, in addition to any batteries that fall below the 8-gram threshold. Examples of two types of lithium ion batteries with equivalent lithium content over 8 grams but below 25 are shown below.

For a lithium metal battery, whether installed in a device or carried as a spare, the limit on lithium content is 2 grams of lithium metal per battery.

Almost all consumer-type lithium metal batteries are below 2 grams of lithium metal. But if you are unsure, contact the manufacturer!

As is usual with the government, that's certainly nice and clear...isn't it?

I'll keep all of that in mind next time I fly somewhere.

Here's something weird...IBM is paying their employees to get up off their asses and exercise.

How's this for incentive to stick to your new year's resolutions: cold hard cash. Many companies are offering a little extra in your paycheck to help you shed the pounds. Not only does Stefanie Chiras' company pay her to develop computer memory sub-systems, but a little extra to eat right."

Having work sponsor it makes you kind of feel like someone is buying into It," said Chiras. "And then certainly the cash at the end of the day is an incentive."Chiras works for IBM. She gets an additional $150 in her paycheck for tracking her eating habits online and losing weight."

When I reach for that next unhealthy thing, I think, oh, but I have to log it in to the tool."IBM launched its voluntary wellness incentive program four years ago – handing each employee up to $300 a year for completing healthy eating, exercise and preventative care programs.

I guess that makes sense, since IBM apparently spends nearly $2 billion on employee health care annually.

Good thing these people don't work for me, because my idea of a functional "voluntary wellness incentive program" would be to hand your giant lard ass a rake and shovel when you show up at work weighing 350 pounds and not let you back inside to recline in front of a computer in air conditioned luxury until the parking lot and highway frontage was clean and you had sweated off twenty or thirty pounds in a week.

Call me insensitive, I guess...

So any way, in the interest of my own health I guess that I'll spend the day laying around in my PJ's, huddled by some fake logs burning in the fireplace contemplating the things I'm not getting done over on my construction project.

Since I don't even care about the bowl games these days, my life is spent in a catatonic stupor of "just don't give a damn" as FOX News drones on about the 2008 Presidential election.

Is it just me?

Burrrrrrrrr

Someone Please Add Another Log To The Fire...


It's COLD down here on our little Island.

Of course, it is January, so I guess that's not supposed to be a surprise.

Yeah...Yeah...Yeah...2008...

Happy New Year And All That Stuff...


I regret to admit that I was asleep by 10:30 last night so I missed the dropping of balls and firing of fireworks and the balance of the festivities.

I guess that I'm just getting old. Ten years ago I was running around Atlanta in a Lincoln Limousine until the wee hours of the morning with an entourage of college friends and business associates I was hosting for the evening--how times change.

2008 found me in a coma at midnight, and I didn't budge again until 4:30 AM when it was time to get up and check my Boston Pork butt which was reclining in a lovely brine mixture in a big pot in a cooler full of ice in the kitchen.

I was also haunted by a giant bundle of Turnip Greens, Spinach, and Kale that needed washing in the sink and a load of Black Eyed Peas that had soaked overnight yesterday and were yet partially cooked on my stove top.

I'm trying to hit the ground running in the new year, so after searing the pork butt in my giant Cast Iron Dutch Oven and setting it cooking on a low 200 degree F heat we'll head over to Lowes for a couple of sheets of OSB and some caulk, then visit the job site for four or five hours finishing the external sheathing and installing three windows in the new front wall of the dining room.

Unfortunately winter will arrive here on our little island this week, with temperatures expected down into the mid to upper 20's Wednesday night and gusty winds blowing the Spanish Moss out of the trees in the yard. I've got to move all five thousand five hundred fifty of Pat's ferns and other tropical plants into the garage and sun porch between now and then in order to avert disaster. We only have to look forward to a dozen or so nights of this kind of weather down here--so it's sort of a shock when it arrives to interrupt our otherwise balmy existence.

At least Georgia Tech managed to not start the year with an ugly loss in football (instead finishing the year with an ugly loss), losing 40 to 28 yesterday on some kind of blue football field out in Idaho in the Humanitarian Bowl. On behalf of all of the GT Alumni, I offer my apology if you felt compelled to watch the game (I didn't.)

In other football news of note, Auburn beat Clemson (I laugh no matter who wins because I know engineers from both schools), my Dad's Alma mater Kentucky beat Florida State, and let's hope that Hawaii gives Georgia a good pounding so I can live in peace for the next eight months here in the Peach State.

I smell my greens boiling, so I guess that I better go check on them. Have a nice New Years day everyone, and don't be tempted to make any resolutions you're not prepared to keep.

Know what I mean?

Clinton Campaign Has A Good Point

They're Thinking Speaking The Unspeakable Unthinkable...


It seems that last weekend a few folks associated with the Clinton campaign made some public comments about the potential invalidity of maintaining Iowa voter's importance in the overall National election picture.

CEDAR FALLS, Iowa (CNN) – Just days before the Iowa caucuses, a prominent Hillary Clinton supporter criticized the state’s privileged role in the presidential nominating process, forcing her campaign to declare that she did not agree with the assessment.

Ohio Gov. Ted Strickland was quoted in Sunday’s edition of The Columbus Dispatch as saying that it “makes no sense” to grant Iowa the right to hold the first contest of the 2008 race for the White House.

"I'd like to see both parties say, 'We're going to bring this to an end,'" Strickland told the newspaper.

Competing campaigns seized on the article and emailed it around to reporters to highlight Strickland’s comments late Sunday night. The Clinton campaign moved quickly, and issued a statement shortly after midnight distancing the New York senator from the governor’s remarks.

“Senator Clinton has worked her heart out campaigning in Iowa because she knows it plays a unique and special role in the nominating process and that process must be protected,” read the statement. “As she has said many times she is glad Iowans are entrusted with this responsibility because they take it so seriously. On this issue Hillary and Gov. Strickland strongly disagree.”

Now wait just a darn minute Folks...I think that the good Governor might be on to something here, because I've wondered that exact same thing myself in the past election years and again in the past few weeks heading into January.

Bringing the subject up again, I did a little Googling and found this information about the state of Iowa here and here.

When thinking about the validity of kicking off something as important as the process of choosing the president of the most powerful nation on the planet, wouldn't you expect to base the first results on an "average" sampling of people representing the country's "Average" population, right?

Well, if that were the case than you'd be WRONG, because the population of Iowa is far, far from a representation of the true average American mainstream. For instance:

Iowa's population is only 2,982,000--less than 1% of the nation's total (by the way, being an Agricultural state, there are 16.6 million Hogs living in Iowa...do they get to "caucus" also?)

The population of Iowa's largest city, Des Moines, is only 194,311.

Unfortunately, something which I couldn't find valadation of was the true count of the number of people expected to actually show up at the polls for the Democratic and Republican primaries on January 3rd. Based on averages, it's probably less than 50% of registered voters--many times somewhere in the 20% or 30% range.

That means you can knock the Iowa Caucus down to being the opinion of somewhere in the area of less than a million people out of 300 million Americans...1/3 of 1%.

I'm sure that you will excuse me if I admit that for some reason I personally am not impressed.

That said, now I have to ask how in the heck the media and the political elite can place so much emphasis on what Iowa "Caucusers" think this week, when most of the time they could care less what the farmers and "hayseed" residents of our country believe and about which issues they worry about on a daily basis?

After all, there is no major metropolitan area in the state of Iowa and, with so few people living within its external borders, what's the big deal with what this little 1% of Amercans think?

And another interesting thing I found when looking at the demographic data on the Great State of Iowa--something that should piss off Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton in the process...

Iowa's population is 95% white/Caucasian, with African Americans and Hispanics making up only 2.3% and 3.7 % of the citizenry respectively.

I thought that those numbers were somewhere around 12% and 14% nationally.

How can they let that happen?

Yeah...I thought so...

NY Times Gets A Clue?

Possibly


In the past, I, like many other independent minded/libertarian/conservatives, have lambasted the NY Times editorial page for their inane, one sided content that most of the time cannot stand up to even the lowest levels of intellectual scrutiny.

As a result, in the past year or so the Times elected to hide their Editorial content in their online edition behind their paid subscription service--ostensibly as a protective measure shielding their mush-mined columists from bloggers like myself who are not willing to toss cash at them in return for the hours and pages of blogging topics their ill founded and poorly thought out essays represent.

In spite of this ongoing online blockade, this morning I was pleased to learn about the Sunday announcement that conservative columnist Bill Kristol is joining pseudo-conservative David Brooks on the NY Times editorial page next week.

His column will run one day a week against the two a week offerings of Paul Krugman, Maureen Dowd, Thomas Friedman, Nick Kristof, and Gail Collins.

Of course liberals the world over are shrieking in indignation that the Times, with Brooks two columns and Kristol's weekly offering, is now at a 1-1/2 to 5 disadvantage in opinion thinking (or the lack thereof.)

The move still doesn't make things at the NY Times fair and balanced in my opinion either, but it's a good start.

Of course the liberals will probably expect the Times to hire Al Franken or Al Gore or even Wierd Al Yankovic to slide things back to the left.

I say let them eat cake...

The First Bar-B-Que Grilling

And Shepherd's Kept Watch Over their Weber Kettles Flocks By Night...




(click to enlarge)

Notice the little Black and Tan Dockie standing Guard?

Instead of a charcoal grill, that thing in the middle is actually a little candle holder I bought this weekend in my Mother's favorite gift shop in her home town.

Obviously we made it back home this afternoon to our little island in spite of Mother Nature's wrath, and after unpacking and consuming a nice Sushi dinner...I believe that I'll rest now.

Also, I guess that I'll get an early start on wishing you all a Happy New Year...a day and a half in advance...

Drought...What Drought???

Would Someone Please Call Noah?


I hereby announce that I've come to believe that I have weather powers verging on "Mythical."

You see, I can conjure up a major rainstorm virtually every single time that I visit my century old family farm in south Alabama--IF I have work to do outside.

When it's not raining, then it's 100 degrees and I'm trying to stand on the roof or work in the attic of the house.

We've visited south Alabama twice in the past week and one half and it's rained EVERY SINGLE DAY I'VE BEEN HERE, and it's not just affecting me and my good intentions--it's getting to the entire family.

Instead of letting Missy the Turbo Pup wander around the lake without a leash attached to her fuzzy neck, we've been forced to tie a rope to her and let her take a few steps off the breeze way by the pool to "do her business."

The roofs and gutters on three buildings are still covered with pine straw, and there is no way that I'm lugging my new cupola into position in its lofty perch over the garage, in spite of extending the visit by one if not two days (due to bad weather.)

We just had another round of thunderstorms before midnight, and looking at the Mobile, AL weather radar there is more heading this way from where that came from. I'd say we're pushing six inches of rain in the past week, and it isn't supposed to end until late tomorrow when the weather plunges into the high twenties overnight for a few days.

That Global Warming...she be a real BITCH.

A Different Kind of Christmas Shopping

Power Tools From Sears...


Here's a quick peek at the unpainted results of my handiwork:






And here's some of the tools I used to put everything together:



Time to add some tarpaper and shingles, and put on a coat of paint.

Travel Rain Delay

The Tower Put Us On A Ground Hold...


I awoke this morning expecting to finish up some maintenance details around the property, take a few pictures of my finished but unpainted and uninstalled cupola, then hit the road back toward our little island by 9 AM eastern.

Wrong...

Upon reviewing the satellite picture and radars at Ft. Rucker, AL and Jacksonville, FL it was clear that unless we wanted to travel in a driving rain all day that alternate plans were in order.

Things only look slightly better in 24 hours, but I made an executive decision to wait until tomorrow to make the trip.

I was tempted to act like the airlines by loading our luggage in the car, then driving out to the end of the driveway and sitting for 45 minutes to an hour before returning to the terminal building departure gate my mom's house to wait out the weather--but I thought better of the idea in the end.

I make weird jokes about the prospect, but I admit that this Christmas holiday certainly has been a difficult one for people that had to fly to get to their destinations.

I have a rule about Christmas and Thanksgiving travel--it goes like this.

STAY HOME UNLESS YOU CAN LEAVE THE WEEK BEFORE AND COME BACK THE WEEK AFTER.

Pretty simple, huh?

Another trick that is guaranteed to piss off your wife and mother is to travel ON CHRISTMAS OR THANKSGIVING DAY. You can OWN the airport and rental car counter on Christmas day.

Early on the the Sunday morning (6:00 AM) after Thanksgiving is also a good time to go to the airport. I've flown to an ASME conference in Orlando on the Sunday morning after Thanksgiving three or four times back in the 1990's and the airport was a Tomb. The car companies were giving away rental cars and you could walk into Disney and Universal without standing in line because all of the kids were back in school.

Another holiday travel trick I used to use involved going to the Florida Keys on Labor Day Monday. There would be a traffic jam of cars moving north from Key Largo to Homestead, and my Suburban would be the lone vehicle heading south on the overseas highway. OK...one of three vehicles southbound...but you get my drift.

The hotels were half price and the restaurants were glad to have your business and the weather was exactly the same as the week before Labor Day without the bulging crowds of college students and Hemingway wannabe's.

I guess that is one of the better advantages of being unemployed self-employed is that you don't have to live on everyone else's holiday and vacation schedules.

So now I have to go install a couple of ballasts in the kitchen lights and then cook some breakfast. Y'all be safe if you're traveling today--make an executive decision like I did if you have to.

Cupola In The Works

Sawdust Flying

Goin' To Alabama

With My Banjo Computer On My Knee


After seven more hours in a car today, I'll do some writing and some construction and until then...

Talk to y'all later

The History Of Christmas

Click Here And Take A Look


http://www.opinionjournal.com/extra/?id=110011034

Via my blog friends and idols over at Powerline.

Too Tired To Eat

I Need Another Refrigerator


Dang I'm Tired.

I'm starting to think that anyone who believes that working in the construction industry is harder than working in a restaurant kitchen should be taken out and flogged--or at least dressed in cooking attire and dumped into the Souse Chef position in a 50 seat restaurant for a couple of evenings.

Do that and you'll have a different attitude toward your restaurant experience the next time you go out to dinner.

Any way...this cooking for large crowds fantasy of mine is starting to get the best of me in spite of my best efforts. It's not the actual menu design and cooking that's the problem, it's the logistics of getting all of the food done on time, having it hot on the buffet line, and accomplishing same in a small residential kitchen.

In the past I've prepared an entire Cinco de Mayo feast for over thirty participants a couple of years ago and done several meals for six or eight, but I think that yesterday's "Christmas Feast for Sixteen" finally got my goat when it comes to single oven cooking.

By 3 PM yesterday I must have looked something like a whirling dervish, spinning around at orbital rotational velocity having already delivered my horseradish crusted beef tenderloin and two pans of uncooked cornbread dressing to our friend's home, along with chafing dishes and ancillary supplies that were in my way on the counter tops of my little kitchen.

Then reality set in as the oven, not my efforts and ability, proceeded to create a logjam in the food delivery process. Pat's scalloped potatoes took a little longer than planned, the glazed ham needed 75 minutes of heat at one temperature, and I still had shitaki mushroom gravy and the Oysters Rockefeller appetizer to put together.

Picture me stirring gravy with one hand and opening fresh oysters with the other.

It can't be done..but I had to wait until the last minute to open and prep the oysters because there wasn't room in our fridge for two pans containing two dozen oysters with spinach toppings. When it was all said and done, I figured out that I should have prepped the Oysters earlier in the day and delivered them along with the balance of the earlier shipment to the scene of the crime dinner venue.

When the dust finally settled about seven thirty PM, seven pounds of ham, five pounds of beef tenderloin, and gobs of other stuff that I can't recall right now were consumed and my Mom and Pat dragged me back home and laid me on the sofa to recuperate.

Unfortunately I didn't eat half of the dishes I cooked, and I didn't eat half of what did make it onto my plate because...

I'm Tired.

Why do I do this to myself?

Here's Wishing You

A Very...



(yes...I drew that picture myself a few years ago...)

Flying Away For Christmas

Vapor Trails anyone?


I was running through the day's photos this evening after opening Christmas gifts, and I came across this photo of the evidence of the commercial air traffic over our little island about noon today.

Here...take a look:

The image was shot looking south across St. Andrews Simons (oops) Sound toward Jekyl Island.

We're under the north-south flyway and it's not unusual to see "contrails," but today the atmosphere was such that it seemed to hold the vapor trails in suspended anamation.

I count over two dozen there myself.

Pretty cool...Huh?

Christmas Eve In Paradise

Hope Yours Is Lovely...

Early Grocery Shopping

Harris Teeter Beckons...


I'm happy to report that we made it home yesterday by late afternoon with little harassment and fuss as Sunday turned out to be a light travel day.

A combination of good luck and good planning I guess.

After an early dinner at our usual table with the friendly staff at Blackwater Grill, we retired back home to recover from the trip while I thrashed around reviewing Tuesday's menu, the recipe details, and made up my final shopping list.

I plan on being at the grocery store when it opens this morning in order to avoid another situation that might cause me to have some kind of screaming epileptic fit or collapse into a deep unrecoverable catatonic state in the parking lot after encountering hoards of wild eyed last minute shoppers.

I think going early is best for everyone's safety--mine and the general public.

Guys...you better head over to the mall to start your shopping this morning. I know that you have all day, but why not try to get done early and head over to the local tavern before they close Christmas eve?

A Rant From The Road

The ASSociated Press Strikes Again...


I was looking through Drudge this morning to see what was going on in the world when I came across this headline: "Rocket launched into space; carries satellite to guide weapons."

Holly Cow, the Russians or the Chinese are sending space weapons up into orbit I thought.

Nope...

After reading for five seconds I learned that it was the United States, not our enemies that's responsible; the so called "satellite to guide weapons" is in fact in space right now, and it was launched by a rocket, not a slingshot or a "super soaker."

Beyond those facts the implication of the Headline and most of the ASSociated press article is pretty much hyperbole and the usual innuendo laced BS.

CAPE CANAVERAL - A rocket carrying a GPS satellite to better guide military weapons was launched into space Thursday.The Delta 2 rocket lifted off from Cape Canaveral at 3:04 p.m. with the modernized NAVSTAR Global Positioning System Block 2R military navigation satellite aboard for the U.S. Air Force.

The satellite is part of a constellation of 24 and one of eight that were modernized to more precisely guide weapons and a variety of civilian applications.

See, this is another perfect example of what I'm always bitching about regarding the headlines and story text of the ASSociated Press and much of the balance of the Lamestream media.

Ordinarily this would be a non-story, but by tossing on a headline they probably got a couple of inches of column space in every little newspaper in the US.

What these rocket scientist media experts fail to tell you is that your "Tom Tom" or your Garman or Magellan GPS that you use to navigate your drive to the mall today or over to Grandma's house on Christmas has been using what were originally MILITARY SATELLITES that have been in orbit for decades and are wearing out and being replaced every year.

In reality, this event was just the latest launch of a replacement satellite, not some new ominous plan to militarize space beyond the level that's been common for the past thirty years. The Europeans and the Russians are also in the process launching their own GPS type systems because our system doesn't currently cover the entire surface of the earth.

What total unmitigated, useless, moronic CRAPPOLA. Don't you agree?

Now get back to wrapping packages and mixing egg nog...and all of you men head on over to the mall and get started with your shopping for your wife or girlfriend.

Let me worry interpreting the meaning of satellite launches...

You certainly can't count on the ASSociated press to tell you anything of value.

Dammit

Cupola Wins Round One

Going Home To Regroup For Christmas


Well, the hard pressure treated lumber bested my best intentions and the shop's ability to carve decent uniform louvers of the size and thickness I had designed, so I had to resort to plan "B" on Saturday.

By four o'clock I had four 35" wide x 22" high panels full of wooden louvers and plywood panels for the cupola roof cut out, but I was short one base frame assembly and the roof structure was a figment of my imagination as I had run out of lumber and energy.

I resorted to tidying up the shop, doing some more design on AutoCAD, then showering and heading out to a Bar-B-Que dinner before coming home to crash for the evening in anticipation of hitting the road back to our little Island this morning.

We'll be on the road in the rain and fog that the Weather Channel decided to predict yesterday, after telling us on Thursday that it would be sunny and clear. I swear that all of the Global Warming loonies aught to consider the accuracy of short term weather forecasts (less than one week out) before they run around screaming about forecast weather trends which run over decades if not centuries.

Time to finish packing and load the car, then we brave the "holiday weekend" morons on the road for another seven hours.

Wish us luck...if you will.

Living In The Cabinet Shop

Cupola Construction...


Having survived the trip across south Georgia and Alabama, today finds me transitioning my construction tallents into my Dad's cabinet shop with the intent of building a replacement Cupola for the roof of the main house.

The old cupola, also home made, is over fifteen years old and is suffering the effects of the sub-tropical weather and the South Alabama sun.

A replacement of equivalent style and quality cost over $600, while the material cost is something under $75 so the decision was obvious, and the results serve as part of my Christmas gift to my mother.

Of course building one is twice as much fun as ordering one and waiting on the truck to arrive.

Time to go make some sawdust...

Beating The Holiday Traffic

On The Road Again...


I don't think that we could hang one more light or place one more ribbon on the tree, house, or furniture, so we're off to lower Alabama by car this morning--happy that the rain blew through last night and most everyone else won't be traveling until Saturday or Monday (hopefully.)

After a little maintenance work and some visiting, we're heading back this way Sunday with Mom in tow for Christmas and a four day tour of the Golden Isles.

I've got a HUGE meal to cook, beginning preparations on Monday and serving fourteen hungry mouths late Tuesday afternoon. I haven't had time to panic yet...because I have a Cupola to build for my Mom's house in the mean time and fourteen hours of sitting in a car to contemplate my situation.

Y'all have a good weekend...if you will.

Time Magazine Still Full Of Crap

Take Your Copy To The Bathroom And Leave It There...


I read yesterday that Time Magazine named Vladimir Putin their 2007 "Man of the Year." I can't find a decent sized copy of the cover photo to post here, but you can read the story here on the Times website.

Imagine that?

After all, Time has a long, long history of political insurrection and irresponsibility--they even named Hitler and Stalin back to back "Men of the Year" in the years leading up to the US entry into World War II.






Liberal Media Assholes...can't live with them...apparently no way to live without them.

Is it just Me?

Your Daily Reading

Thought For The Day...


You need to read Victor Davis Hanson's essay "In War: Resolution:"

What can be done about our impatience, historical amnesia, and utopian demands for perfection? American statesmen need to provide constant explanations to a public not well versed in history—not mere assertions—of what misfortunes to expect when they take the nation to war. The more a president evokes history’s tragic lessons, the better, reminding the public that our forefathers usually endured and overcame far worse. Americans should be told at the start of every conflict that the generals who begin the fighting may not finish it; that what is reported in the first 24 hours may not be true after a week’s retrospection, and that the alternative to the bad choice is rarely the good one, but usually only the far worse. They should be apprised that our morale is as important as our material advantages [emphasis mine-VRR]—and that our will power is predicated on inevitable mistakes being learned from and rectified far more competently and quickly than the enemy will learn from his.

Only that way can we reestablish our national wartime objective as victory, a goal that brings with it the acceptance of tragic errors as well as appreciation of heroic and brilliant conduct. The Iraq war and the larger struggle against the anti-American jihadists can still be won—and won with a resulting positive assessment of our overall efforts by future historians who will be far less harsh on us than we are now on ourselves. Yet if as a nation we instead believe that we cannot abide error, or that we cannot win due to necessary military, moral, humanitarian, financial, or geopolitical constraints, then we should not ask our young soldiers to continue to try. As in Vietnam where we wallowed in rather than learned from our shortcomings, we should simply accept defeat and with it the ensuing humiliating consequences. But it would be far preferable for Americans undertaking a war to remember these words from Churchill, in his 1930 memoir: “Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter.”

From my Friends and Idols over at Powerline.

The Guest List Grows

...Along With The Menu


I'm sitting here this morning working on plans for my big Christmas Feast. The guest list just went from eleven to fourteen yesterday afternoon.

Here's a copy of the current Menu Cards I'm making which I'll be printing out later this morning for the girl's approval:





Of course nothing is final at this point because I have to slide this past four grown women that are happy to have me slaving away in the kitchen but at the same time want to add side dishes and get their own names and influence on my efforts.

I'm trying to maintain control of the non-salad Appetizers, the ham, tenderloin, stuffed tilapia, and the cornbread dressing because I've mastered those dishes and cooked most of them many times previously.

The Bread Pudding is also on my to-do list . I've never made it before, but I'm doing a small test batch later this week and I'm confident that I can make it work because I have a good recipe.

I think that I'm tired already.

(And its back to the construction site this morning...Yawn)

'Twas The Week Before Christmas...

Feeling Rushed Through The "Holiday" Season?


A million years ago, back in the days when I was a kid and I had virtually nothing else to do with my money but buy things like "Mad Magazine" comic books, I remember coming across a passage in one of the aforementioned editions of "Mad" that went something like this:


Twas the month before Christmas, and all through the store

each Department was dripping, with Yuletide decor.

The Muzak was blaring an out of tune Carol,

and Fake Snow was falling in Ladies Apparel.


It's amazing how true that passage still rings today.

We went out looking for a Christmas Tree yesterday afternoon, and panic was starting to set in after finding a total of four trees--three at the Ace Garden Center and one at a local nursery--at our first two stops. All Ace had was two giant ten footers and one little four foot "Charley Brown" tree.

We ended up driving back by the local farmers market where we learned that our usual source--the Rotary Club--had lost their butts with leftover trees last year and had cut their inventory in half this year. All they had left were the culls and rejects from their limited Virginia Pine inventory.

Fortunately, one of the other Farmers market vendors saved the day by providing us with a nice little 7' tall Leyland Cypress.

Outside of Christmas preparations, it's "T-Minus Two Days and Counting" here in the Golden Isles on the construction project as I have to finish this week's work by Wednesday afternoon in anticipation of driving over to southern Lower Alabama for three or four days to do some work on the farm and to pick up Mom for the return trip back over here to spend Christmas week.

We have tons of sightseeing and fine dining planned for her next week, and then of course I have an extensive Christmas Day meal to cook for ten or eleven hungry mouths. The guest count and the menu has grown steadily over the past few weeks--why I do this to myself I'll never know.

Thank GOD we got all of the Christmas cards and packages sent on their way by the middle of last week so that we don't have to go anywhere near the Post Office or a UPS/FedEX location between now and January 1st...else I just might have to try to hurt myself with a spoon or butter knife.

As things stand right now, if I can make it to Saturday the only risk of death by kitchen utensil will be eating too much food in the ensuing celebrations.

Imagine that?

I Hurt My Nose PickingTouchpad Finger

Inconvenience Squared...


I'm back home from the job site a little earlier than expected today because I finally managed to harm myself--not badly--but it made me mad and I just cleaned up, loaded up the truck, and came home in a huff.

The building originally had natural gas radiant heaters in every room and gas stoves/water heaters and I've slowly been cutting off or removing the old pipes from the walls.

Today's injury involved a little three inch tall stub pipe sticking out of what was one of the kitchen floors that served the long ago relocated water heater. I've been tripping over it since last week when we started moving walls around, and today after tripping on it a half dozen times I finally managed to pinch my right index finger between it and the pneumatic framing nailer frame when I tried to lay the nailer down.

Screaming, profanity, and blood flow ensued as it really hurt in the 50 degree temperatures we were working in with the door open all morning.

I took a sledge hammer and beat the pipe into submission after installing a bandaid--now blood soaked--on the end of my finger.

Typing also sucks with the bandaid sticking off the end of the fingertip...

I've got to go now and do some first aide before making a trip to make a Christmas tree purchase.

Ghost Pictures

He's Resting In The Theater Attic Tonight...

Strike The Set

Yet Another Successful Dickens' Production


Last night we had dinner with five friends over at Christies in Brunswick and attended the latest show at the Ritz Theater.

All and all a successful evening, I think.

This wasn't my favorite version of the script for "A Christmas Carol", the but Mayor Thompson did his usual good job as Scrooge and the kids danced and mumbled their way through the dialogue in good order with no awkward pauses or obvious missed lines.

The Ghost of Christmas Future Puppet came out pretty well, and I already have some ideas for using parts of it again in a future season in slightly modified form.

I guess now it's time to start my Pizza crust rising for the evening meal while we wander over to take Mr. Ghost Puppet apart after this afternoon's matinee show and break the simple set back down into individual panels and pieces.

It's always sad for me to tear down the world you build for one of these shows, even if it's imaginary and the residents that live and die there are just actors. Fortunately we're spending a half hour making posed still photos of some of the scenes before it all evaporates into every ones' memories.

Photo postings to follow later...

I'm Calling In Dead Sick Today

Weather Saves Old Body From Breaking Down...


Well, I've been nursing a bit of a head/chest cold this week--trying to beat it with a positive mental attitude and ZiCAM. I'd say right now that we've fought to a solid tie.

I've used up a half box of tissue while basically keeping things moving forward. I just had so much to do and it was really impractical to reschedule the deadlines with trucks and deliveries, but today I'm making an executive decision and staying off the jobsite to let my body rest.

The real final reason for today's absenteeism was the rain front that is blowing in this morning--that and the fact that all of the new wall framing has to be built outside in the front yard.

Since the giant gaping hole I tore in the front wall on Friday is temporarily closed up with OSB panels, I've decided things can wait until tomorrow or Monday to finish up the new framing and sheathing.

All is not lost however, as there's still the obligatory trip to Lowe's to buy some more supplies, then possibly brave a couple of stores looking for a TV card for the new server PC and some other personal stuff.

Y'all have a good weekend...if you will.

Some Concrete Giveth

And Some Concrete Must Be Taketh Away


I'm happy to report that the new concrete slab survived last evening unscathed, I found my lumber stockpile to be intact when I arrived to accept the delivery of the new windows yesterday morning, and now I'm pleased to announce...

(drum roll please)

that today is the final "Demolition Day" over on Wolfe Street in Brunswick, Georgia.

Thank GOD!

I've already worn out one cheep Skilsaw (actually a Ryobi) and one diamond blade cutting large holes in concrete walls, and the second sacrificial saw will be tossed into the construction dumpster sometime after it arrives later this morning.

After making about 50' of additional cuts in 4" and 8" cinder block walls in order to enlarge one rough bathroom door opening and more importantly, blow out a 12' wide section of the exterior front wall, the transformation of my old 1959 vintage duplex into an 1,100 square foot single family home will be complete.

Thank GOD!!!

The new floor plan features three bedrooms, two baths, a laundry/utility room, and a generous sized combination living/dining area attached to a good sized modern kitchen with lots of counter and cabinet space (by starter home standards.)

You could hardly turn around in the old efficiency plan living/kitchen areas of the duplex floor plan, but courtesy of my genius architectural efforts I'm ending up with a very livable like-new home that is only limited by the neighborhood.

Move it north or south about three miles and it would be worth an additional $50,000, but that disadvantage was factored into the price I payed for the property to begin with.

Any way, I dread holding onto that saw wearing safety glasses and a respirator for an hour making concrete dust, but the work has to be done and after that there will be another couple tons of concrete block chunks and other debris including things like sinks and toilets which have to be loaded into the dumpster.

Why I torture myself like this I'll never know, but I'm past the point of no return now. I have stacks of new windows and doors to install and siding to hang and other untold punch list items to accomplish, and unless Aliens beam me up to an orbiting UFO or out to Mars...I'll be on my job site bright and early tomorrow morning.

In the mean time, will someone please write an essay or at least a few nasty words for me about the silly woman they used to moderate the Republican & Democratic Debates in Iowa? Where do they get these women, and why are they always liberal Democrats?

I didn't like girls like that in college, and I have even less patience with them out here in the real world as an Adult. I'm sure they don't care much for me either, but ask me if I care.

Maybe it's just Me?

Concrete Solutions

Answers To Questions I Never Wanted To Ask...


I regret to tell you that after yesterday I've decided that I'm pretty sure that my body is getting too old to physically accomplish a good deal of the crap that my mind comes up with for me to do.

Due to medical reasons associated with my ever increasing age, over the past twenty five years I've stopped doing a number of things which I once loved to do--long distance running, flying airplanes, Slalom Water Skiing, and scuba diving easily come to mind --and I can add several of yesterday's tasks to that ever increasing list without the least regret.

A truck showed up about 9:30 AM with eight interior doors, a stack of OSB and exterior siding panels, and 1,760 pounds of pre-mixed dry concrete. By 9:45 their little fork lift had left me and my materials standing in my front yard scratching my body parts.

What the $#%@&* was I thinking?

I elected to save money by paying a single $59 delivery fee, but now I was looking at having to either use the material on Wednesday else move the excess inside so it could be locked away from the third world thugs theiving crack heads lovely local residents which had already elected to remove my kitchen sink and $5 worth of functioning copper pipe from the project over the past few years.

At my mind's request, my body poured, troweled, and floated a 6' wide by 12' long, 2" thick section of 4000 PSI concrete on top of an existing area of concrete in a little over two hours using a small electric mixer. ( For the experts out there that care, I even used a concrete bonding agent on the well cleaned existing 4" slab.)

Then I came home, stripped off my filthy clothes, and collapsed in a heap on the sofa.

I think that Pat was impressed with the process, and I have to emphatically state that if it weren't for her providing psychological support and measuring and hauling buckets of water back and forth between the kitchen and the mixer I'd probably still be there this morning frozen in a cloud of concrete dust.

The mixer was the the real lifesaver of the project, religiously handling two eighty pound bags of Quikrete and 2-1/2 gallons of water at a time. Together we mixed eleven batches--it seemed like one hundred and eleven--as I lugged the eighty pound bags from the pallet to the mixer drum, then rolled the sloppy load over and dumped it out inside the form work.

I also panicked as I mixed the last two loads because it looked like I was going to run out of cement before the form was filled completely, and I had ordered one extra bag of cement beyond the 21 bags recommended by the manufacturer's website material calculator.

Would you believe that I had less than a couple of shovels full of concrete left on the ground when I was finished?

I guess that the Construction Gods were smiling on me that day.

I was so tired that I ended up leaving the OSB and siding sitting on the front porch (something that is routine on most job sites), so I have to go back over this morning to move and stack it inside the front dining room and to meet the truck that will be delivering my new windows at 9 AM.

I sure hope that the wood is still there.

The new windows will also have to be moved inside to await beginning the process of their installation next Monday.

In the mean time I have some other final internal framing details to complete, and of course there is the inevitable trip to Lowe's for even more lumber and tools.

The best part of today's trip will be buying...

A PNEUMATIC FRAMING NAILER!!

If I wasn't so tired I probably wouldn't have slept last night, but sleep I did, thus the lack of late posting.

I've got to go now and do some more reading on choosing a nailer so I can make a good selection.

Wish me luck, if you will...

Time To Mix The Concrete

I'm Tired Already...


We're scheduled to be at Lowe's when the doors open at 7:00 AM this morning, then pick up the cement mixer at 7:30 and wander over to the job site to get things started on what will be a loooooonnnnggggg day.

Pat's promised to hang around for the first two or three hours while we wait on the truck to deliver the materials, then lend a hand and dial 911 just in case I get my pants leg or ear tangled up in the cement mixer.

I'm actually pretty excited because this week will see the building footprint take it's final modified shape and by next week the external envelope will be finished except for paint and possibly some trim work.

I'm not setting any land speed records here, taking seven months give or take a little to do work that should have been done in less than 90 days...but hey, it's my project and I've had a darn good time doing virtually everything myself--just to prove that I can.

Next time I'll probably hire some help...

Feverish Procrastination

Putting Off The Inevitable...


Well, the bad news is that I didn't go to the jobsite yesterday.

Believe me when I say that it wasn't for lack of desire or effort. It was just clear at the last minute Sunday night that due to a lack of adequate planning on my part that there really wasn't much to do that couldn't be done on Tuesday because:

A. I had no idea where I was getting my concrete and...

B. I had no clue when I could get it delivered.

So by executive indecision, I stayed home to work around the house and order materials in anticipation of the week's work. It still ended up being a productive day regardless of the slow start.

In addition to getting a refinishing stain coat on an old crappy antique table we use in our entry foyer, I also got started staining one of my new home made nightstand tables, and a bunch of pictures got hung up on the guest bedroom walls using the laser level.

Also, as a result of having handed out my Visa Card number to Lowes on the telephone late yesterday, now I absolutely must leave our little island, drive across the causeway, and raise a dust storm for four or five hours this morning because sometime on Wednesday morning I have a ton of Quikrete, sixteen sheets of exterior siding board, some OSB, and eight interior doors arriving on a delivery truck.

Then there is the rented portable cement mixer...did I mention that I need one of those?

Well I do, and I have to admit that I'm a little afraid of the process.

The plan is to add a two inch thickness of concrete to a 6' x 12' area of an existing front porch slab so that I can extend the new dining room walls into the newly prepared area. In the process I've had to learn about concrete bonding agents (already purchased) and pray that running a cement mixer isn't that different from mixing cement in a wheelbarrow with a hoe.

Wish me luck, if you will ...

The Turbo Pup Takes On Santa

I'm Not Sure Who's More Uncomfortable...


Missy the Turbo Pup visited Pet Smart yesterday, and while she was there Pat tossed her into the "Pet Santa's" lap for a photo. Here, take a look:



If you've never before seen a little soon to be one year old Mini long haired Dachshund petrified with terror, you have now.

"Officer...Police...Pervert with a white beard in a red suit over here...help...Help...HELP Meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

(I'm not sure if that was worth six bucks for one print with a cheesy frame, but we have it now and I scanned it violating the intellectual property rights contract because I don't care.)

A Day Off

And A Busy Week


As you may have noticed, I took yesterday off and didn't write anything. Sorry if you missed my ramblings, but if you write as much as I do your realize that sometimes you just have to give your fingers and your synapses a break for a little while.

Instead of ranting, what I did do on Sunday was a bunch of AutoCAD drawings, cleaned out and reorganized my garage again, built two round table tops for night stands from my drawings, hung curtains in the guest bedroom using my laser level, and started cutting parts for a Wooden Manger I've been promising to build for Pat's Nativity Scene figurines for two seasons now.

I basically can't turn around here without knocking over a Poinsettia plant or upsetting a garland or Wreath, and we haven't even purchased our Christmas Tree yet. I tossed up a string of white lights around the front door and a couple of strings into a big Nelly Stevens Holly bush adjacent to the entry, and I guess to balance things out I'll have to run over to Ace Hardware tomorrow and get a couple of extra strings to put on the big shrub on the other side of the doorway.

I've thus far been able to suppress any Turret's like explosions of Bah Humbug's or catatonic shivering fits, but I'm going to have to take Pat's car keys away from her if she keeps dragging more decorations home every time she walks out the door. I was informed that we already need a couple more Rubbermaid storage locker boxes to handle this years new festive "nick-knacks and paddy-whacks"...It's a girl thing...I know...

Later today I'm going over to Brunswick to finish the final concrete form work for the new front slab extension on my renovation project, pre-cutting the interior cinder block seams on the front wall in anticipation of blowing the wall section out, and doing final cutting of the two bathroom doorway openings in order to make them handicapped accessible when the new doors are installed next week.

The new custom windows are arriving on Wednesday, so this week looks to be quite busy as I push toward being ready for the Framing Inspection with the City Inspector shortly. Then it's plumbing, electrical, a new metal roof, and hopefully interior finish and trim in January.

It really is tough being me...

Ima Buffoon

My New Alter(ed) Ego


In a moment of genius inspired activism, I just signed up for a new Yahoo E-mail account using the name "Ima Buffoon." The address is imabuffoon@yahoo.com if you want to sent me a howdy doo sometime in the future.

Ima's a pretty fun loving yet serious guy, and I'm challenging Ima to wander around the Internet on my behalf over the next few months, torturing the various scam artists that manage to piss me off on TV or via the WWW with offers of things that intelligent people should know better than to believe.

You know--things like "systems" promising unimaginable riches gained through buy low cost foreclosed real estate, E-bay marketing schemes, programs teaching you to make money by placing "little tiny" classified ads in newspapers, hair re-growth concoctions, and pills promising larger male body parts.

Don't the ads and infomercials touting these products bother anyone but me? I'm really tired of the onslaught--free speech issues aside--and I'm going to dive in with my altered ego Ima and find out what's going on from the inside if I can.

This morning Ima got things started with The Home Equity Repositioning people. These guys purport to advise you on how you can borrow your home equity and use the money to buy into some mutual funds and securities they sell.

As if you aren't already making (or losing) enough appreciation on your home investment--these morons are encouraging people to borrow money against their HOUSES and give it to them to pay their sales commissions while they put you and your house at risk in the stock market.

If you think that's a good idea, I have another scheme that you'll find attractive...

Interested?

I have a program to sell your pre-school aged kids each a 9 MM pistol and some ammunition, then I'll give them target training and send them back to your home to be in charge of you and your family's personal security.

You'll never see your little munchkins while they're running around the perimeter of your property in their new camo colored fatigue uniforms...and don't worry, you can borrow the money from your home equity, and the program only costs $10,000 per student.

Such a deal, huh?

The Equity Repositioning website has absolutely no information on it, it's just a data collecting screen that asks for your name, e-mail address, and phone number.

I gave them my real phone number and the Ima Buffoon name and e-mail address, and it will be interesting to see what happens.

I'll keep you informed as the situation develops.

Sixty Six Years Ago

How Soon Most Of Us Forget...


Just in case you aren't paying attention, let me remind you that about 66 years and 9 hours ago from right now the Japanese Navy and Air Forces attacked Pearl Harbor.

We've all seen the movies and read the history books in school, so I really don't have much to say this morning other than to pause to recognise my Aunt and three Uncles--two since deceased--that served in the military during that time in what ended up being called World War II.

None were at Pearl Harbor, but all three served with honor and survived the war unscathed to come back home and live long successful lives enjoying the freedoms they risked their lives for.

It's sad that today, when I look back, all I see is that we as a country and citizens had a Hell of a lot more patriotism and resolution then than we do now, and I regret that we've probably already squandered most of the hard earned advantages and political currency earned by a generation of true War Hero's that believed in the US Constitution, Personal Responsibility, and the original American Dream.

The way I see things, most of today's so called "Dream" is in reality much closer to a freak show or a nightmare to me...

Here's Your Christmas Card

An Oldie But Goodie...

I promised myself that I would get my Christmas shopping done early this year and get my Christmas cards out early also. Unfortunately I didn't have the energy to make my own new cards, so the store bought variety will have to do for the first time in about three years.

There will also have to be no last minute shopping rush for me this year because we're having company for the holidays and I'm going to be busy acting as Head Chef and Island Tour Guide and won't have time to be dashing to the mall to brave the wild eyed masses while dodging sniper fire.

The good news is that all of the shopping will be done as of tomorrow, the cards are laying here beside the computer on the coffee table ready to be addressed, and by scrolling down here you can have your own Christmas Card delivered immediately.













I'll feel free to check Christmas Cards to my Blog Readers off my list now...

(I apologize to any of my regular readers that remember this original PhotoShop image from last year, but it's just too good to not use again...and doing the Owl Gore Hanukkah Card reminded me of my earlier efforts...so here it is.)

.

Equal Opportunity Enviro-Whackism

Spreading the Misery Responsibility...


I'm sorry to report this morning that it looks like Owl Gore's Environmental Derangement Psychosis has spread to the Jewish community now during Chanukah.

In a campaign that has spread like wildfire across the Internet, a group of Israeli environmentalists is encouraging Jews around the world to light at least one less candle this Hanukka to help the environment.

The founders of the Green Hanukkia campaign found that every candle that burns completely produces 15 grams of carbon dioxide. If an estimated one million Israeli households light for eight days, they said, it would do significant damage to the atmosphere.

"The campaign calls for Jews around the world to save the last candle and save the planet, so we won't need another miracle," said Liad Ortar, the campaign's cofounder, who runs the Arkada environmental consulting firm and the Ynet Web site's environmental forum. "Global warming is a milestone in human evolution that requires us to rethink how we live our lives, and one of the main paradigms of that is religion and how it fits into the current situation."


Do WHAT???

Leave out a candle from the ritual?

Which one would they have honorable religious people to omit?

The first one?

Don't light the eighth night's candle?

These morons are Jews, and they aught to know better.

So what about leaving dark the Shamash light usually presented in the center highest position in the Menorah?

Is any religious ritual sacred and safe from their assault and scrutiny?

While we're at it let's get the Methodists to dump their Acolytes and/or leave at least one of the two candles dark on their altars every Sunday.

Let's make all of the Christians leave a candle dark on this years Advent Wreaths --that will lower CO2 and reduce global warming by something like 0.000000000000000000000123 degrees Celsius.

And let's not leave the Catholics out--they could stop with the incense burning during Mass and possibly prevent a couple of Locust plague induced crop failures in the Sudan and Ethiopia (...oh...OH...OhhhhhhhhHHHHHH....you live in a Desert...)

Seriously, this whole story is ridiculous, and the people behind it are clearly mindless politically motivated morons asking people to jump on the Man-Made Global Warming bandwagon while making strictly ineffective "SYMBOLIC GESTURES."

The next series of wildfires in the foothills of Malibu will undo everything accomplished by leaving little wax candles unlit by ten fold. The next volcanic eruption on Montserrat or in Micronesia will spew more CO2 and volatile organic hydrocarbons than all of the cars in the US in an entire YEAR.

The ritual surrounding the lighting of the Menorah involves eight or nine little bitty candles sized to burn for about thirty minutes each night, and I think that leaving one out for a silly reason like this is beyond pale.

This is a perfect example of ever increasing politically correct crap which we can look forward to in the future if we don't manage to nip this Climate Change insanity in the bud.

Today it's candles, tomorrow it's your fireplace, your lawnmower, your electric razor, and your chain saw.

By the way, I tried to contact Owl Gores' office for comment, but all I could get was this photo:





(Yes...that's the product of me and my Photoshop skills)


So sue me...

Where's Bob Dole When You Need Him?

I'm Suffering Disenchantment With The Whole Crowd of Candidates


Will someone please call the School Principal or the Hallway Monitor and separate Obama and sHrillary for me before someone gets food thrown on their clothing? I don't know how much further below Kindergarten and First Grade we can sink in what should be an otherwise serious political adult debate.

I fully expect in the next week for someone to pull out Fred Thompson's Vacation Bible School finger paintings and interpret them like Rorschach Inkblots --using them to accuse him of sexual harassment of the volunteer teachers in church, or possibly racism for smearing out an image that vaguely looks like Jesse Jackson having sex with Madonna using a weed eater and a chicken as "marital aides."

Speaking of Bob Dole, while we can blame him for at least 4 years of Bill Clinton's tenure, I sort of miss him walking around speaking of himself in third person (or whatever it is when you address TV cameras and microphones with phrases like "Only Bob Dole speaks for Bob Dole...")

Then there was the omnipresent pen that poor old Bob always carried around in his wounded hand to keep people from noticing that he was in fact a GENUINE war hero and had been wounded in action. If I were him I would have been proud of the abilities he showed and accomplishments he made in spite of his combat injuries.

It would be sort of funny if someone had stabbed John sKerry's ass a couple of times with a ball point pen so he could have, using Dole's logic, wandered around clenching an ink pen is his butt cheeks at campaign events. Imagine the scene when he signed autographs using that method. "Sorry there kid...you'll have to excuse the brown streak...did you know I served in Vietnam?"

Kerry was definitely no Bob Dole in any shape, form, or fashion, else he would have resigned his Senate seat as he started his presidential campaign like Bob did. Then we wouldn't have to have paid his useless carcass for not appearing on the senate floor for a year and a half.

Of course if he'd resigned the Senate Seat he'd be reduced to carrying Mrs. Heinz's purse and polishing the calluses and bunions on her feet these days, because I doubt that even the glorious State of Massachusetts, home for Ted "Jabba The Hut" Kennedy, would bring him back to congress once he'd given up incumbency.

Come to think of it, maybe Senator Dole was on to something back then--using a prop in an attempt to distract people from defects that they find personally embarrassing as a political candidate.

For instance, today I think Fred Thompson should consider carrying around copies of old Video Tapes of episodes of Law and Order and the movies he's appeared in looking Presidential. Let's face it, I'm afraid that's the only way many people are going to see him in that light based on the performance of his campaign thus far.

As for sHrillary Rodham-Clinton, I think that she could mount herself on Bill Clinton-Clinton's back like the pair of actors calling themselves "Master Blaster" in the Mad Max-Beyond Thunderdome movie.

Then Bill would have to walk around everywhere all day wearing her while she bitches at him and does that cackling laugh of hers at debate questions. Using the toilet and taking a shower could become a bit of a problem with that arrangement however.

Here's a look of what they'd look like in Iowa next month:





Obama...now he's a little more difficult...let's see....

I know, he could be forced to wander around from event to event holding a sign that says something like "Remember I'm Black...remember I WAS Muslim...but today I'm not a BLACK MUSLIM..."

Does anyone buy that story?

Ron Paul is a little tougher still.

No, he's actually easy. Mr. Paul could come out with a line of T-shirts with the saying "I'm With Stupid" with an arrow pointing upwards towards his own face.

I guess that I could go on and on here, but my inspiration is becoming less funny on a moment by moment basis. I think that I'll leave things at that.

Please feel free to leave a comment and tell me if you come up with anything obvious on the other candidates, and I may come back by later if I come up with something else on my own.

I'm Developing My Own Weapons of ASS Mass Destruction

Filibustering My Way To Insanity Infamy


I'm just beside myself. I don't know what to say this morning folks.

I was actually in a bit of a bind figuring out what to write about, then I stumbled onto this story...

I saw some Pinhead on TV on MSNBC interviewing some captive commentators (you know...so called experts like Pat Buchanan and some other talking head media morons) about the revised US Intelligence estimate stating that regardless of what we've heard on the news for the past two thousand years, Iran really stopped developing Nuclear weapons in 2003.

If you don't believe that story, other versions are printed here, here, and even here at the NY Times.

The MSNBC Pinhead moderator was already on the "Bush Lied" mantra, while I'm sitting here wondering why everyone is willing to ignore the bullshit uttered by Iran's own little Capuchin Monkey look-alike dictator:

...statements basically admitting that Iran has Nuclear refinement technology beyond that NEEDED TO SUPPORT A PEACEFUL ELECTRICAL POWER GENERATION PROGRAM, and saying that they (the Iranians) have the right to develop nuclear powered handbags and suitcases to lob into your living rooms and stow on airliners for your enjoyment and demise in the future.

As I recall, a stupid dead SOB named Saddam Hussain kept on pounding his hammers and rattling the swords in this same manner back a few years ago before we captured his rat bastard ass and his fellow citizens stretched his neck to the point of breaking.

My point here is this...

I you don't want the US Marine corps to tear your door off the hinges or the US Navy to fly a GPS guided Cruise missile up your butt, stop with the rhetoric, because the partisan liberal idiot professional morons down at the US State Department and the so called "Intelligence Agencies" apparently spend more time watching old "Get Smart" 1960's TV reruns than they do actually gathering any Intelligence.

If I were Bush I'd be walking around poking people with a pointy stick and kicking their butts with my size 13 boots...but instead I'm relegated to delivering commentary here on my measly little website safely sequestered in rural coastal Georgia. (if ever you piss me off enough and I manage to get close enough to grab hold of you and bite you, believe me that I'm taking something important like your nose with me...so keep that in mind in the future.)

And while you're at it, stop blaming the President and the White house for the failings of these Partisan "PROFESSIONAL INTELLIGENCE" shitheads...It's Bush's fault he let them keep their jobs when he took office after Clinton hired them in the 1990's, but it's not his fault that they lied to him and the American public or just plain missed the truth when they wandered into the sandy abyss to do their jobs.

After all, grumpy old Helen Thomas and the balance of the White house press corps would have soiled their undergarments and had public conniption fits should he have kicked them to the curb like sHrillary Rodham-Clinton would have done in the same situation.

Dammit.

Back To The Real World

Building Fantasy...


Well, I reluctantly walked out of the Ritz Theater a little after 3 PM Sunday afternoon having turned over my set and giant puppet to the actors and stage crew.

I've done all I can do with it...the rest is up to them.

I think that I just might feel like the parent of a little first grader on the first day of school....I sure hope everything performs as expected.

On projects like this there are always things that you would have liked to have done or could have done differently in retrospect, but I think that I exceeded 90% of my own expectations and the cast was pretty impressed with the results of my efforts. I got the electronics installed just in time for a couple of trial runs and the strobe light eyes really make the scene effective and scary.

Now I have to buckle down and turn my attention back to my for-profit construction efforts with the arrival of the new windows and a few thousand pounds of unmixed concrete this week.

I wish that someone would volunteer to come over and help me for a few days for free...but that's not how the world works.



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All The Math I Needed To Know

I Learned By The Ninth Grade...


From time to time in my public service career I have some interesting revelations and insights about teaching science and math to today's children.

Since I don't have any kids of my own, it is through my work with the theater and one of the local high schools which brings me into contact with the occasional rare student that asks the question: "how did you figure that out?"

In answering these little darlin's questions, of course I could as a matter of pride drag out my calculus books and differential equations textbook--all giant, dusty hardcover tomes with which my instructors tortured me while I was attempting to make my way through the first couple of years at Georgia Tech back in the late 1970's.

Instead, thus far I've resisted that urge and tried to keep things simple.

I usually just mention how I use a handheld calculator to solve simple little things like the Pythagorean Theorem and Sine/Cosine/Tangent functions that most college bound children learn in middle school.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure how far my attempts at putting a practical insight into the use of apparently mundane subjects goes when it comes to inspiring academic excellence, but I'm darn sure of how easy my ongoing mastery of those subjects makes my life on a day to day basis.

Tonight I'm working on the pre-planning for the final Ghost of Christmas Future fabrication later this morning, and in that process a working knowledge of basic geometry concepts are all that I need to lay out the shape of the "tether lanyard" that keeps Mr. Ghost Puppet from crashing down across Scrooge while "leaning down in the middle of his face with flashing red strobe light eyes." (you know what I mean here Rusty...)

I did have to cheat a little by employing some of my Sophomore year college Statics Structures class to fine tune the details, but the basic geometry was still the key to problem.

I really wish that our schools could employ more hands-on educational solutions instead of computer labs and diversity sermons--employing things like balsa wood, wooden dowels, or PVC pipe in lab sessions in order to demonstrate the usefulness of mathematics concepts. I'm building giant pyramids featured on football fields and humongous puppets seen on the theater stage using the exact same simple concepts.

At the same time, it would also be nice if they taught things like (real) economics, household budgeting, credit management, and how to balance a checkbook.

Is it just ME???