Associated Press Still Flogging Katrina

These People Actually Get PAID To Do This???


Did President Bush and the members of his Cabinet stop by your house today?

No?

How about the National Guard?

Did one of their guys in olive drab rap their knuckles on your front door?

No??

Well…they didn’t stop by my home either.

Darn it…

I had trash that needed taking out and both of our vehicles could use an oil change, but the president’s staff must have forgotten about it.

Oh, that’s right—the President has spent the last few days over in India and Pakistan kissing swarthy babies, shaking hands with dignitaries, and rubbing turbin enshrouded heads for good luck.

It seems to me that based on the press coverage the trip has been a success so far.

At least VP Cheney hasn’t shot anyone this week in the President’s absence.

That said, I’ll point out that, according to that same media coverage, if I were Al Sharpton (or almost any other “Race Baiting Warlord” like Lewis Farrakhan); the entire reporting staff of the ASSociated Press; or possibly a Democrat like John Kerry, Nancy Pelosi, New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagan or Louisiana Governor Kathleen Babineaux Blanco…

I should still be sitting around again this morning waiting for my trash cans to be emptied and for my free oil change.

That’s how the government is supposed to work, isn’t it?

The president isn’t just the CEO of the country, he’s an all knowing clairvoyant—a seer of all needs and wants, an omnipotent knower of all that needs knowing, and an inept doer of all things needing doing.

“Hey Pres Bush, did you change that empty TP roll in my bathroom and fill up my ice trays in the fridge last night?”

What about the cat’s litter box?

OK folks…enough silly BS humor…here is what has my boxers all bunched up this morning.

The ASSociated Press.

Specifically, the ASSociated Press’s coverage of the the “leaking” of videotapes of the president’s briefing shortly before Hurricane Katrina struck near New Orleans.

Here are the core paragraphs in the initial reporting they put out on March 1st and that was echoed in an e-mail sent out by the Democratic Party Website and retold on basically every TV station and in every newspaper in the world:

The National Hurricane Center's Mayfield told the final briefing before Katrina struck that storm models predicted minimal flooding inside New Orleans during the hurricane but he expressed concerns that counterclockwise winds and storm surges afterward could cause the levees at Lake Pontchartrain to be overrun [emphasis mine--VRR ]

"I don't think any model can tell you with any confidence right now whether the levees will be topped or not but that is obviously a very, very grave concern," Mayfield told the briefing.

Other officials expressed concerns about the large number of New Orleans residents who had not evacuated.

"They're not taking patients out of hospitals, taking prisoners out of prisons and they're leaving hotels open in downtown New Orleans. So I'm very concerned about that," Brown said.

Just in case you don't understand the point here, let me direct your attention to the fact that there is a HUGE difference between “overrunning” (or “topping”) a levee and “breeching” a levee.

Overrunning and topping involves the winds blowing the water and waves over the height of the levee, thereby causing flooding and potential further failure of the levee structure.

Remember that the New Orleans levees failed due to water saturating the base foundation of the structures, causing them to saturate and collapse from below, not above?

The assumption by the government officials and the engineers was that the levees were STRONG ENOUGH to hold themselves up if the water didn't come over their tops.

The concern was that if a Category 5 storm hit, would these same levees actually be TALL ENOUGH to hold back the waves and storm surge.

Yes we’re talking technical details here, but as the old saying goes—“The Devil’s in the Details…”

Also notice disgraced resigned "Scapegoat" FEMA director Michael Brown's concerns about the hotels still being open and the hospitals and prisons being occupied?

But I thought that Brown and FEMA were supposed to be asleep at the helm while Bush was drinking Bloody Marys on vacation in Texas?

Right?

I've seen the video's personally, and the concepts in the briefing should be perfectly clear to anyone except the group of highly educated partisan MORONS like those evidently employed by the AP.

Once again this total non-story proves that the ranks of the ASSociated Press are filled with idiots or partisan hacks, or possibly a little of both.

The good news is that enough noise was made by various knowledgeable sources since the story's publication last Wednesday that the ASSociated Press elected Friday Evening to publish a great big old “OOPS” in the form of a "sorta-kinda" correction.

Almost a genuine retraction of the story, but not quite.

Of course they didn’t admit their error very loudly and of course many of the other publications and broadcast outlets that echoed their first story won’t bother to follow up with the correction:

Clarification: Katrina-Video story

ASSOCIATED PRESS

WASHINGTON (AP) _ In a March 1 story, The Associated Press reported that federal disaster officials warned President Bush and his homeland security chief before Hurricane Katrina struck that the storm could breach levees in New Orleans, citing confidential video footage of an Aug. 28 briefing among U.S. officials.

The Army Corps of Engineers considers a breach a hole developing in a levee rather than an overrun. The story should have made clear that Bush was warned about floodwaters overrunning the levees, rather than the levees breaking.

The day before the storm hit, Bush was told there were grave concerns that the levees could be overrun. It wasn't until the next morning, as the storm was hitting, that Michael Brown, then head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, said Bush had inquired about reports of breaches. Bush did not participate in that briefing.

Yea...I know, I know, I know...some of you get tired of me whining all of the time about the media, but I also know that some of you agree with my disgust.

How the hell can these people continue to get things so wrong--time after time after time--unless they are doing it intentionally and hoping that they won't get caught?

I've said it before and I'll say it again to all of the members of the lamestream mainstream media:

The bloggers are everywhere, and we're watching you. We're not going away, and some of us are on a mission--a mission to end media bias and editorializing being disguised as news coverage.

As for me, personally, I remind the members of the exempt media of the words uttered by my movie Idol Clint Eastwood in the film Dirty Harry...

"Go ahead punk(s)...make my day"

This Just in...AGAIN

President Bush's Adventures In India...


I just heard FOX News say that President Bush continued his tour of India today, visiting a farm and receiving a demonstration of the Indian's latest farm technology.

Through sources I can't reveal, I have a photo of the event...




All I want to know is...

Does he know the difference between "gee" and "haw"?

BS, MS, & PHD

Bull Shit, More Shit, and Piled Higher & Deeper...


When will it end?

My lovely fellow “blogger” over at Capital Freedom recently did a good job of pointing out the differences between the media’s handling of VP Dick Cheney’s hunting accident and other similar events that carry less political currency.

She pointed out this Washington Post story about a policeman accidentally KILLING an unarmed man being arrested for the hideous crime of illegally gambling on sports.

Fairfax County's police chief said yesterday that one of his officers accidentally shot and killed an optometrist outside the unarmed man's townhouse Tuesday night as an undercover detective was about to arrest him on suspicion of gambling on sports.

Police had been secretly making bets with Salvatore J. Culosi Jr., 37, since October as part of a gambling investigation, according to court records. They planned to search his home in the Fair Oaks area, just off Lee Highway, shortly after 9:30 p.m.

Culosi came out of his townhouse on Cavalier Landing Court about 9:35 p.m. and was standing next to the detective's sport-utility vehicle, police said, when the detective gave a signal to tactical officers assembled nearby to move in and arrest Culosi.

"As they approached him . . . one officer's weapon, a handgun, was unintentionally discharged," said Fairfax Police Chief David M. Rohrer.

Miss Capital Freedom made some very lucid points in her posting. Among other things, she said:

“Perhaps the media is more forgiving of police officers, whose job is to know how to handle weapons responsibly to protect people. While I can choose the people with whom I go hunting, I have no say in whether a police officer in my county is careful when arresting unarmed individuals. While most Americans will probably never encounter Vice President Cheney, let alone go hunting with him, many of them will encounter police officers. If news sources wanted an accident to be truly outraged about, this is it. If news sources really wanted to assert their "right to know," here's where they could do it. Instead, they are happy to drop the story without publishing the outcome of the investigation and without knowing even the officer's name.”

I couldn't have put it better myself...

Likewise, I had pointed out in an earlier posting the media’s desire to protect the identity of a suspected pervert child molester down in Florida last month. They said since the guy hadn’t officially been charged with a crime that they decided to not publish his name.

Funny thing, how the media was shitting bricks when the VP makes a mistake with a gun and doesn’t send them an immediate E-mail, place a phone call or do an I-pod broadcast with the news, but the police can kill an unarmed man and they withhold HIS name out of some kind of twisted respect in the name of "journalistic integrity."

And of course the media can freak out over "Bird Flue" while at the same time not hyperventilating over the average 100,000 annual deaths in the US from adverse reactions to prescribed medications.

Is that just a inconvienant detail?

They also don’t tend to make much noise over the 44,000 annual deaths in automobile accidents unless someone fameous or drunk does the killing and/or dieing.

What about all of the stupid assholes out there in the world (and you know who you are) that cause accidents and kill beople because they routinely tailgate, pass against the solid yellow line, speed, don't use their turn signals, and otherwise drive like morons?

Can I have a collective yawn here?

And ANOTHER THING...Let me say this about that (the gun issue) again.

I’ve spent a great deal of time on gun ranges with police officers. Just because they have a license to carry a gun doesn't automatically mean that they can actually shoot one safely.

The SWAT team members tend to be competent handlers of all types of weapons. They also show up at the range in shorts and tee shirts and don’t identify themselves as law enforcement until you get to know them.

Then there are the macho “street cop”morons that come to the range in full battle attire—uniform, mace, taser, and crappy factory Glock 9 MM pistol in clunky leather holster, making their once annual appearance to fire a single box of bullets just so they can stay qualified to carry a gun.

I guess that we're supposed to be impressed or something.

No one that knows anything (about cops or guns) will turn their backs on these fools because we know they generally can’t hit the broad side of a barn from fifty feet away.

Did you know that?

Face it folks, you'd be better off going hunting with our VP while drinking a fifth of Jack Daniels and poping painpills, rather than being on the street with at least half of our men in blue when they are inclined to pull their guns out of their pants and point it at someone.

Can you say "collateral damage"?

Walter Concrete Cronkite Gets His Own Moon Rock

"Free Brain Transplant?"


I loved Walter Cronkite when I was a kid.


Specifically, I loved his coverage of the space program.

When NASA was flying something into orbit or off to the Moon and Mr. Cronkite was doing the play-by-play commentary, I got to stay up to all hours of the night to watch and listen to his broadcast on TV.

Since old Walter has been put out to pasture, I understand that he has spent a good deal of time living on a large sailboat and generally enjoying life. He certainly deserves to enjoy a prosperous, graceful retirement.

Unfortunately, like learning that there is no Santa Clause and no Easter Bunny, it’s become obvious to most everybody that Walter’s reporting outside of the fields of science and spaceflight was…shall we say… skewed a bit to the LEFT of center.

Who knew?

Back in those innocent days we thought that the news was delivered by reporters, and political commentary was delivered by pundits and possibly old Andy Rooney.





Today I wish that Walter would take a cue from Johnny Carson and just quietly fade away into his golden years, but he hasn’t so far. The next thing I want to hear personally is that he died peacefully in his sleep when his time finally comes.

Instead, Walter still chooses to sit in front of a TV camera every few days spewing insane ramblings on politics with his faded eyes rolled back in his old grayed head.

Any way, it seems that NASA has elected to give their favorite TV personality his own Moon Rock:

AUSTIN, Texas--NASA is honoring veteran newsman Walter Cronkite.

The space agency is giving him a moon rock in recognition of his decades covering the space program.

Cronkite, who anchored the CBS Evening News from 1962 until his retirement in 1981, is the first non-astronaut and only non-NASA individual to receive the Ambassador of Exploration Award.

The newsman, once named "the most trusted man in America," covered the Mercury, Gemini and Apollo missions, including Apollo 11 and subsequent moon landings.

Cronkite is presenting his lunar sample to the Center for American History at the University of Texas in Austin, which houses the Walter Cronkite papers.

The sample will be displayed in the center's exhibit gallery.

Instead of giving his space rock to UT, I say that he should sell it on Ebay and buy himself some medical assistance or psychiatric care.



And Walter...by the way... please get someone to trim those damn eyebrows…

And while you're at it...take Mr. Rooney with you...


(Sorry Walter...I couldn't resist photoshopping your face a little...)

I Almost Forgot To Mention THIS Shit

Sorry Mom, but there is no other way to describe it...


This story has been bouncing around the local newspapers and radio talk show for about a week now. Let me tell you about it.

Some stupid shit morons stole the bronze monument off of the grave of Marine Corporal John Stalvey:

A monument honoring Stalvey – a Marine sniper who died in a roadside blast in Iraq last October – has been returned to his gravesite at Chapel Park Cemetery in Brunswick.

Vandals had removed the sculpture and dumped it in a nearby neighborhood in February.Seeing the life-size rendering of a Marine's boots, helmet and M-16 rifle returned to its rightful spot Monday was gratifying, said Merillat, Stalvey's mother.

"We were really happy that what we had picked for John's grave was there again just like we meant it to be," the Glynn County resident said.

And with more concrete and sealant holding the monument in place this time, it should remain there.

In addition, Glynn County police have established regular patrols in the area.

The search for the parties responsible for the desecration – which left the monument with some broken foundation rods and damaged a small piece of the rendered rifle – goes on, however.

Detective Craig Cupp with the Glynn County Police Department said the department has received pledges for $2,000 in reward money for the arrest of the vandals, whose identities remain unknown.

A reward fund established through United Community Bank has received $465 in donations, according to Ski Vsetecka, a retired Navy veteran who established the fund.

I just sent Sean Hannity this E-mail:

Mr. Hannity,

I thought that I'd alert you to this local story here in Brunswick, Georgia about the monument on the grave of Marine Corporal John Salvey (killed in a roadside blast in Iraq last October) being stolen and later found dumped in a ditch in a nearby neighborhood.

The stolen bronze monument (combat boots, helmet, and M16) was restored this week, but we're trying to raise money to catch the bastards that did it.

Here's a link to the local newspaper story:

(http://www.thebrunswicknews.com/front/302750635716606.php )

Can you add this story to your list of stupid liberal hate directed against our military, and give his family a mention on the air to assist in raising funds for the reward?

Best Regards...love your shows.

Virgil Rogers
St. Simons Island, Georgia


Let's just see what happens...

I'm Tired Of Talking To Computers...

On The Telephone, That Is...


For those of you that don’t know me personally, let me let you in on a secret.

I use E-mail extensively.

In fact, if you don’t have E-mail, you just might never hear from me again.

Some say that would be a good thing.

Nothing pisses me off more than for someone to hand me an e-mail address, then force me to call them a week later only to have them tell me "...OH, I have e-mail...but I hardly ever check it because I really don't understand those computer thingies..."

Why the hell did they bother wasting my time?

The same thing goes for computerized answering systems—they end up pissing me off most of the time.

When I'm in a hurry or otherwise want to actually TALK to a human, I pick up the telephone handset and go through the archaic process of placing a Telephone Call.

I understand that making a call on the telephone was a significant event in the early 1900’s. Folks looked forward to it because it made them feel important. People used to have friends and neighbors over for drinks, serve little finger sandwiches with the crust cut off the bread, or kill hogs and fry whole chickens in anticipation of the event.

Not so today.

Most people these days can actually hide behind a telephone. I mean really FAT people that couldn't hide behind a Toyota can successfully hide behind a cordless telephone.

Caller ID has made things even worse, particularly for men chasing the attentions of women and for bill collectors pursuing deadbeats.

Likewise, computerized voice mail systems have put an infinite number of highly paid professionals (doctors, lawyers, et. al.) and lowly paid scumbags (the so called “customer (non)service” representatives) behind an infinite screen of zero’s, one’s, and three's that you are asked to dial on your telephone keypad.

I wish that I could invent a device that would deliver an electrical shock through the telephone to the chairs of the persons that I'm feverously attempting to reach through a computerized voice mail system.

I'd call it the Answering System Ass Phaser--or ASAP for short...

The intensity of the shock would be directly proportional to the number of rings I have to endure and the number of buttons I have to push after the initial ring of the phone call. I suspect that many telephones would be answered after the first or second ring if I were allowed to implement my new system.

In anticipation of my ASAP voicemail, I recall that last year I published a posting with a listing to a website that gave the phone numbers, often officially unpublished, to major companies like American Express or Best Buy with which you might have a beef.

By “Beef” I’m not talking sirloin here, I mean things like bitching about those pesky non-credited monthly payments on your credit card or yelling at the electronics salesperson about your DVD player that insists on shooting movie DVD’s across the room at high speed.

Yesterday my Fellow blogger Rodger over at Curmudgeonly & Skeptical posted a new link to an even better website called the “Get human database.”

It has the phone numbers and instructions on how to get to speak with an actual human instead of a computer voice mail system for 414 companies.

Click on the link and go check it out...you're gonna love me for it.

And don't make me have to call you...

Success, Sleep, and Food

Not Necessarily In That Order


I learned something new earlier this morning.

The only thing harder that photographing FOOD...




Is photographing ART...




I'm going to take a nap now.

I'm Still Drawing Roofing

Please Stay Tuned...

My To Do List

Note To Self...It's Gettin' A Little Long

Write Proposal For "K-Street Tree Sculpture Project"..............3-1/2 Hours (just now completed)

Finish Inking Roof on Christ Church Drawing.........................2 Hours

Finish Inking Darien Methodist Church Drawing....................6 hours

Have Meeting With City Administrator..................................2 hours

Pick Up Slides of Finished Art From Glynn Camera.................1 Hour

Deliver Slides & Art Exhibit Application by 5 PM Wednesday..1/2 Hour

Become A Well Known Artist in The Local Community............Priceless


(Sorry Ladies and Gentlemen, but my blogging is going to suffer this week as a result...)

Roofing Trouble

I'd Rather Be A Plumber Or A Painter...


Did you know that I know how to do practically every single job associated with building a house and even most commercial and industrial building task?

Don't take this statement to mean that I LIKE or otherwise WANT to do some of these construction jobs, but I can do them none the less. For instance, I love doing framing and trim work, but you can have sheetrock and the tedious work of nailing down tarpaper and shingles.

I probably did my last roofing job about three years ago when I put a roof on my Mom's new utility building that we built together--about ten squares worth of Owens Corning product. My back still hurts thinking about lugging those son of a guns up a ladder.

Meanwhile, I've been working on finishing the last two of my church drawings and darn it if the roofs on both Christ's Episcopal and the Darien First Methodist Church are driving me crazy.

Since both building are presented in a simplified 3D perspective format, I can't just draw a bunch of parallel lines and call it a roof. I'm actually having to lay out and draft the individual shingles on each visible roof section.

I'd almost rather get out my hammer and nail apron, clamor up a couple of stories, and crawl around on my butt cheeks all day in the rain.

Why do I do this to myself?

Barney's Dead...

And I Don't Feel So Good Myself

When we got home from this afternoon's Mardi Gras parade down in Redfern Village I learned that actor Don Knotts had died today. Damn, I'm gonna miss him.








Anyone that didn't think that Don Knotts was hilarious must be crazy or something.

R.I.P. Mr. Knotts

I Just Found Out That I’m a "Sitzpinkler"

Hey dude...put the seat down when you're finished...


I’m suffering from a bit of lethargy this evening—not being willing to spend the time to intelligently develop a good rant, yet feeling like I need to say something about a couple of issues that just won’t go away from the public’s radar screens.

While we were out at happy hour Friday evening, one of our female acquaintances asked me about my thoughts on the current “UAE Ports” brouhaha. I put on my best non-partisan face and attempted to explain my position to the three grown women in my audience (all over the age of 50…but please don't mention their ages to anyone else...you know how ladies are...and they definitely don't look it...their age, that is...) and I quickly lost two of the three in the details I expounded.

My short answer was “it’s a tempest in a teapot.”

I then proceeded to lay out my own logical thoughts on the issue, and one of my students simply turned her back and entered another adjacent conversation, dismissing my explanation by saying something to the effect of “it just feels like a bad idea (Arabs handling port operations) to me…”

That form of analysis of important issues like global security is EXACTLY what is wrong with the world today.

Yes, you should listen to your heart and examine your feelings, but every now and then you should also take your head out of your butt and think about a subject rationally.

Those of you that are interested should stay tuned to this blog to read the long answer to this “port security” issue. I'll probably publish it later this weekend.

The other thing that is still bothering me is the ongoing rioting of our lovely Muslim neighbors over the Danish Mohammed cartoons and the pansy assed, limp wrested handling of the subject by the NY Times and almost every other US print media outlet.

One of my Blog Idols, Captain Ed over at Captain’s Quarters points out Blog Diva Michelle Malkin’s recent writing on the subject, at the same time giving us a lesson in some interesting words contained in the Danish language.

Be sure to stop by over at Captain Ed’s and Miss Malkin’s websites and read the details.

The one thing I’ll point out is Captain Ed’s definition of the word Sitzpinkler.

At the risk of delivering too much information, I have to admit that I are one…a Sitzpinkler…that is.

At least I am at home.

A Sitzpinkler is German slang for a man who chooses to sit while urinating (rather than standing and spraying every single surface within twenty feet with his left over, metabolized beer and soda.)

The word is also used to mean a “wimp.”

Hey, I’m not ashamed to admit I’m a Sitzpinkler.

That might explain why my friends aren’t afraid of my bathroom either…

(Isn't it amazing the things that you can learn reading blogs???)

Priapism?

CaN YoU Say anything NeW to a MAN having lived between the ages of 13 and 35 that hasn't had this problem without the use of drugs?


Who the hell is designing and writing these new TV commercials?

"...Contact your medical professional if you experience an erection lasting over four hours"

Most of us are still looking for a woman that would complain on our behalf...

Eighty Dollars Later

Can I Get Some Sleep Sometime?


My lovely friend Tracy over at the frame shop spent some time with me this afternoon and while we were hanging out there we laid out and cut the giant piece of mat for my church drawings. She and her husband Tony have a CAD computer program and a "robotic Mat-cutter" that reduces the work to minutes rather than hours.

Here is an impromptu photo of the project layout:

I will actually draft the Wesleyan Cross laying there in the middle at a size 33% to 50% larger, not on a piece of paper, but rather it will be inked directly onto the middle of the artwork mat, surrounded by the four church drawings in the window cutouts.

As matter of further explaination, I'm cheating this morning by using only one final drawing in this layout because I still have work to do on the others and they are still taped down to the drawing board.

This has been an interesting evolution in my artistic endeavors, but my presentation style is getting good reviews from people that should know better than to encourage an ego-maniac like myself.

I'm doing my own thing, and the public, and more importantly, my artistic peers, seem to like it.

We’re Being “Vetted”

But Not Cor-vetted (varrrooomm…varrrrooommm…)


Did I ever tell you about my adventures on my second boat?

You know, my old 1987 32’ Sea Ray Express Cruiser aptly named “Miss Behaving”?

I can’t believe that I forgot to mention it because it was almost as much fun as my adventures with my second wife. Well…actually…I have to admit that the second wife ended up being more of a pain in my ass.

Any hooooo…the boat had two bedrooms ("berths" in boating lingo), one bathroom (a "head" in boating lingo), twin Chevy 350 cubic inch V-8 engines (money pits, in boating lingo), and I fell madly in love with her in Hollywood, Florida one day back in March 2002.

After the marriage I managed to drive her though the Florida Keys (you know how some women like to be driven) on my way to Mexico Beach, Florida, where I was forced to park her in a marina to have some emergency engine work done by one of the infamous, indigenous “boat guys.”

(For those of you that don’t know, most of the so-called “professional” “boat guys” are only slightly higher on the evolutionary scale than Jellyfish and Garbage men.)

I only knew her for a few months, before my highly paid stupid f**king crooked asshole unscrupulous mechanic managed to steal her and sink her or otherwise lead her to some other terrible fate.

Twenty two thousand dollars cash money right down the drain (or into Davy Jones Locker…as the case may be…)

Did I mention that since I paid cash for my lovely lady, that I decided to not buy insurance—at least until the restoration work was done?

Well…

I didn’t have insurance.

Sorry…I was stupid in retrospect…so what is your point???

Can you say Pee-H-Dee in B-O-A-T-I-N-G? (that would be PHD for my dyslexic readers.)

I’ve got one now.

So what do YOU think about the current brouhaha over “Port Security?”

Let me give you a hint…

What does the letters B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T add up to spell.

You got it???

When I get throughwith my drawing and doing some other writing tonight, I’ll tell you why I think so.

If you're smart, you'll get an extra roll of toilet paper out...

The Girl Scout Cookies Are Here

Finally...

Don't get between me and my freezer full of "Thin Mints"...

Diplomatic Relations?

Is That Like "Sexual Relations" With Your First Cousin?

I just heard FOX News say that the US hasn't had "Diplomatic Relations" with Iran since 1979...

I say that that's GOOD, dammit

My New Dilemma Artistic Endeavor

God Help Me…


Reality has sank into my thick skull regarding the task that I’ve undertaken with my new friend “Mr. Tree,” and I’m feeling a bit of panic as I undertake outlining the project scope and writing a proposal to myself and any other interested parties covering what I’m actually trying to accomplish here.

As is usual, I’m taking this project VERY seriously.

Imagine being guilty of encasing someone you knew and loved in polyurethane and placing them in some ridiculous pose, with a retarded expression on their face, on public display for eternity (or at least thirty or forty years.)

Do YOU want to be responsible for that kind of insult and disgrace?

I certainly don’t, and my friend “Mr. Tree” definitely deserves better than that.

I have this private joke that I’ve shared with my mother and my girl Pat about my behavior in “touristy” gift shops and places like Hallmark Cards and the obsequious “Christmas Shoppes”.

I freeze my face in a teeth gritting grin and walk around saying things like “isn’t that cute…” and “uh-huh honey,” “buy two of THOSE…” while I pray for the experience to end.

That’s not how I want the public—at least anyone with any taste and judgment—to react when they see the results of my endeavor.

The south is already quite well known for tourist traps like “Gator Farms” and zoos sporting “two headed snakes” and crap like that, and we also have our fair share of what I call “Public Art.”

You know what I mean by “Public Art”, don't you?

I mean things served to the public on a silver platter--things which are so ugly or otherwise ridiculous looking that it is clear that there is no way that the artist could actually make a living and sell their artwork unless the GOVERNMENT used force to STEAL the funds from the TAXPAYERS in order to give said money to the so-called ARTIST in return for the possession and use of the so-called ARTWORK.

I just hate when that happens, and I've written about it in the past.

Now I have to put my body and energy where my mouth is and get this thing done, tastefully and with my own high standards, but without one dime of confiscated tax money other that the amount that would have otherwise been spent moving the tree from where it lies to the landfill or dump.

I’m going to by God do it…just watch…

I Just Got Twenty Tons Of Free Firewood

Be Careful What You Ask For...


About 4:30 on Wednesday afternoon the phone rang.

The call was for me.

It was my friend, Brunswick Mayor Bryan Thompson, calling to tell me he was behind my efforts to save the old Live Oak tree trunk (Latin name "Quercus Virginiana") that had been ripped out of the ground removed from the edge of "K" Street last fall during a sewer construction project.

Take a look at this beautiful, but monsterous piece of wood:

Just to give the tree trunk some scale, here's a photo of four of the local neighborhood boys STANDING side by side on my new piece of firewood...

These young gentlemen are each about ten or twelve years old and at least 5' tall, so you can see that words barely describe my new friend..."Mr. Tree."

It's about 25 feet long, at least 22' diameter at the root base, and the main trunk is about 9 feet in diameter. It's topped off with not two, but three main branches that are over 3 feet each in diameter.

I did a few calculations just for fun, and in my estimation, based on published figures indicating that Oak weighs between 16.5 and 26.0 pounds per cubic foot, this thing weighs between 31,000 and 49,000 pounds.

Is there a Flea Market somewhere that I can drag it off to? Can I have free Charcoal for life or something?

Now comes the hard part...what to DO WITH MY TREE.

I want it to end up in nearly the exact same spot where it came from when the construction interrupted its life. I want it to be carved into a sculpture of people or something (ML King, Sidney Lanier, General Oglethorpe), and most of all I want the final presentation to be dignified--not just another "cheesy" gee whizz type public debacle.

In addition to starting a fund raising drive and soliciting ideas from the community about the theme, I also have to get the tree moved and stored while I complete the design and hire an artist.

When I come up with something, you'll be the first to know.

Now where did I put my really big chain saw...

One Down

Three To Go...

OK, I finished my pen and ink rendering of the old First Presbyterian Church located over in Brunswick. The belltower and windows gave me fits, but I got it done after about 6 hours of work spread over the past three evenings.

I finally have my techniques figured out and have gained command of my new pens, so I thought that I'd give everyone a peek at the results of my latest efforts:



I limited my work to the old sanctuary section built in in 1873, and enlarged in 1893. Numerous additions have been made since then, but history can't improve on the classic beauty of the original structure.

I've got to go back to drawing now...