Do-It-Yourself Terrorism

On the very day that Americans are coming to grips with their individual financial costs of living in the good old USA, we find out that the US College of Pathologists has mistakenly shipped out “test kits” containing a deadly Flu virus to 3,700 labs located in seventeen countries, including LEBANON.

“Outside America, labs in 17 countries received the test kits and though twelve disposed of their samples, the remainder - Bermuda, Brazil, Israel, Japan, and Saudi Arabia - have either not destroyed them or may have never received them.

Two labs in Mexico and Lebanon had been listed as not receiving the samples, Mr Stohr said.

The H2N2 virus is similar to the 1957 flu virus that killed between one and four million people across the globe.”

So let me see if I have this situation straight in my ever balding, ever swelling, painfully throbbing head.

The rocket scientists over at the US College of Pathologists dropped a few thousand UPS packages on their loading dock destined for places like Saudi Arabia and Lebanon. These packages, destined to ride in “the big brown truck” or whatever means of conveyance in which one ships vials of flue virus, contained some pretty angry little microbes. The wrong microbes.

How the heck do the wrong microbes get tossed into that many packages? One or two packages, maybe, but 3,700 packages? Where is my big stick…it’s around here somewhere and someone needs a butt whipping over at the College of Pathologists.

So any way, after they realized their mistake, they asked that the samples be returned or destroyed, but some have mysteriously come up missing. Did they say “pretty please?” When they are told that the packages have been destroyed, did they ask for any proof that the foreign lab didn’t throw our little tiny friends in the dumpster in the back yard?

And regarding the lost shipments, besides going on the internet to search with the tracking number or calling up the shipping dispatcher, I want to know what the hell they are actively doing about finding and retrieving these flue virus packages. Probably nothing.

Ain’t this just like the imperial federal government funded morons--we’re spending billions in the middle east to find weapons of mass destruction and a bunch of liberal egg-heads right here at home go and mail out do-it-yourself terrorism kits to God knows who.

You heard me, they sent H2N2 Flu Virus to LEBANON. I gotta go throw up now…