Dang I must have sounded more than a bit cranky last night when writing about Amtra(c)k.
I woke up this morning in time to make a drizzly trip over to Brunswick, but before I left I re-read my writing and while I still stand by 99.7% of what I said--I sure had
Oh well...
In other news, I see where the Atlanta airport is a shambles with four hour delays as a result of an inch of sloppy snow that fell there in the past 24 hours (actually nothing new to anyone that lived there for 27 years like I did), but the good news is that Home Depot and Lowe's are still open here on the Georgia Coast as we endure frigid lower thirty degree temperatures overnight, with highs in the lower 50's tomorrow...
Bwaaahhahahahahahahahahhhhhhhaaaaaaahhhhhaaaaahhhhhhaaaaahhhhh.
Gasp...
Sorry, I lost control there for a minute.
My apologies to anyone living north of Macon, Georgia that has to negotiate the weather to attend worship services tomorrow morning, or is possibly stuck out of town traveling.
Half the reciprocal fun of personally putting up with our 100% humidity, mosquitoes, "no-see-um's" and tourists for most of the year when you live on an Island is making fun of everybody else when the weather gets cold elsewhere.
I'm fairly new to the process, but as I understand it weather effects Democrats and Republicans equally, and in my ongoing efforts to be non-partisan (on which I failed miserably last night), I have to point that out in my defense.
But Wait.....
The newspapers and TV tell us that the Poor, Women, Minorities, children, and old people are the most affected by the cold.
I'm concerned, but skeptical, because this comes from the very same people which tell me almost every week that Global Warming effects the Poor, Women, minorities, children and children of Minorities, old people, insurance underwriters, homosexuals, left handed people, philosophers, artists and people with the name Earl.
So which is it?
By the way, what are we expected as a society to do to protect people from the weather, especially when they ignorantly and constantly insist on ignoring the forecasts of the "experts" over at the Weather Channel?
I seem to remember the city of New Orleans moving a bunch of displaced minority people and their kids into the Superdome as a result of and in order to remove them from the effects of warm weather, and things didn't work too well there in the Crescent City in the end.
Further, from my experience, my wobbly middle aged white male carcass has been susceptible to the weather just like everybody else regardless of race, creed, and national origin (and sexual orientation) for most of the past 48 years, but I haven't had any phone surveys or written correspondence directed toward me asking how I handle the seasonal extremes.
As a result, I'd like to impart some of my self proclaimed expert advise and wisdom on everyone that's interested--regarding the weather...such as it is.
If it's raining outside, I buy an umbrella, stay inside, else go out and get wet if I have to change a flat tire or am just too lazy to care.
If it's cold outside, I put on a coat, or stay inside and pay my gas and power bill on time so the thermodynamic differential between the inner and outer surfaces of my abode are maintained at an acceptable level.
Conversely, if it's warm outside, I wear the minimum acceptable amount of clothing--a measure which seems to be changing each and every year as I look in the mirror.
So there you have it...a turn-key solution to handling the weather, and I know that most of you probably were already on to those little tidbits of intellectual genius long before my fingers hit the keyboard this evening. I just had to say it any way just in case some poor lost soul was wandering by here on the Internet and needed some advice.
In closing, another solution I've found quite helpful is one promoted by the late comedian Sam Kennison (this one is for you again Rusty...)
Having problems with the weather in your area?
Is it always too cold or too hot or too wet or too dry?
Here's an Idea...MOVE.
That's right, MOVE to somewhere where you can tolerate the weather.
I did about five years ago and found the results to be very satisfying.
Isn't that easy enough?
Back to Sam Kennison who was my definitive authoritative reference on this concept if you want one...
Paraphrasing the late Mr. Kennison when he was lamenting all of the US Foreign Aide Money and charitable contributions sent to the people living in the arid countries like Northern Africa because of crop failures and drought related suffering:
Sam said instead of sending them money every year, that we should instead send them ....
LUGGAGE.
Possibly an entire set...and maybe a few bus or plane tickets to go along with it.
Packing Boxes and U-Haul trucks would also go a long way...
Sam said: "You're Hungry? It's because you're LIVING in a DESERT...GET OUT...Ah ah aha ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."
(Taking a big breath...)
Any way, I offer similar condolences and encouragement to everyone up north in places like Minnesota and Wisconsin tonight.
While we're at it, what brand do you like?
Luggage that is...
Samsonite, or American Tourister?
Just do me a favor and buy it yourself instead of voting for someone that will steal the money to pay for it though additional taxes on "the wealthy," because I secretly still intend to be one (of "the wealthy") one of these days and I already have luggage.
Now throw another log on the fire, and enjoy your evening...
and you're quite welcome for having received my keen insight into this situation.
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