Amtrak Apparently Paralysed Paralyzed With Rectal-Cranial Inversion

Careful--I'm Having Yet Another Highly Insensitive Moment


Sorry Folks, but this session of bitching and complaining and imparting armchair quarterbacking advice came out of nowhere this evening, and it is directed at the pseudo-government run national passenger train service known as "Amtrak."

I've had it up to here this morning (pointing to the top of my ever greying, ever balding, pony tail adorned head) with "Amtrak."

Let me tell you about what "Amtrak"'s done that's gotten my Spleen in a knot this weekend.

I guess that I missed it to begin with, and that even before you make a phone call or visit their website the name--"Amtrak"--should give you some clue that things are amiss in the United By God States of America's passenger rail service.

Regarding said name, one could be reasonably expected to guess that the "Am" portion of the moniker stands for "American" possibly, but what the heck is up with the "Trak" portion of the trademark?

Will be be riding along on on our journey guided and protected by train tracks...or Train Traks?

Maybe it's because if we buy a ticket we'll be taking a "Trek", and that's where it comes from (and the word is amazingly prophetic as I'll reveal later...)?

I think that, even though I spent twelve long years in government schools with government English teachers, that I'm going to add the word Amtra(c)k to my blogger lexicon (going along with sHrillary Clinton, John sKerry, and my other originally coined and shamelessly stolen references to things that piss me off.)

Any way...hang on...I'm just getting started here, it gets MUCH better.

I have to admit that I've never ridden an Amtra(c)k train to my knowledge, although I have jingled around Stone Mountain Park and Six Flags in Atlanta on a train, and I've whizzed around the monorails at Disneyland and Disneyworld back in the late 1960's and early to mid 1970's.

Then there was also the time me and my sister and parents plowed through a few feet of snow on a train from New Jersey to NY City a hundred years ago when I was in kindergarten, but that doesn't count because I don't believe it was Amtrak either. It was some form of otherwise efficient commuter rail that serves real cities in the Northeast and makes Amtra(c)k look like a giant system of those little miniature trains that haul toddlers around roadside Alligator Farms and fake Indian Settlements in Georgia, always running in circles and never actually going anywhere.

In addition to riding Chicago's El network and the extended commuter line in the Chicago metro area (and of course the trains in airports around the country and world) I've also owned a few dozen yards of HO and N gauge model train track and the associated accouterments, but I guess that experience doesn't count when it comes to writing critical reviews of railroad companies, but I'm going to do it anyway, and to that end, I digress...

Here's my real question and beef with Amtra(c)k this morning:

How the %$#@ can anyone go anywhere on Amtra(c)k, when Amtra(c)k hardly goes anywhere, and the few places they go take most of a week if not a month of your time in transit, at least according to what I've seen over the past half decade that I've been trying to use them on pleasure trips?

You simply can't get from here to there on Amtra(c)k, as far as I can tell.

The other thing is that when they do happen to go where I might want to end up on many of the trips I've tried to take--3 and 4 hours by air--Amtra(c)k costs 95% of the cost of the air fair and they try to make you die of deep venal thrombosis from sitting in one of their chairs for 25 hours.

No wonder they (Amtra(c)k) are almost always losing money and are constantly coming to Congress with their hat in their hand asking for more money or threatening to waste the rest of the US taxpayers' investment by further limiting service or closing down entirely.

And never mind that because of their ineptitude many people would rather ride a subway through Watts or Harlem than get on an Amtra(c)k train today--I've heard indirectly that things look like a scene out of the Star Wars bar on the run from Atlanta to New Orleans.

Any way, here's some specific examples of things I've tried to give Amtra(c)k my money to do in the past five or six years.

One winter when we still lived in the Atlanta Suburbs and Pat was working in Chicago each week, I thought about making a short economy trip down to Miami, then taking the bus on to Key West to stir up some trouble and get some sun.

Sounded like a plan, but Nooooooo...not with Amtra(c)k

In order to go from Atlanta to Miami, you have to ride an Amtra(c)k train waaaaayyyy north to Washington D.C., then turn around and ride a different Amtra(c)k train wayyyyy back south through Savannah and Jessup, Georgia, THEN on down the Florida coast to a station a few miles from South Beach.

I'm too lazy to do the search because the Amtra(c)k website keeps crashing this morning (see the next set of gripes about that), but it cost something like $300 round trip and took three and one half or four days out of my life to get there and back.

There was no time to enjoy a stay in a hotel in the sun, and besides...I could fly round trip for $450 and spend four hours in the air and a couple more hours in and around the airport and at least walk on the beach before it was time to turn around and head back to DC.

How the heck would anyone do something like that unless they were STUPID, or mortally afraid of flying?

There's a train track from Atlanta to Savannah and Jacksonville, but the Jackasses experts rocket scientists running Amtra(c)k evidently think that people in Atlanta enjoy riding 915 miles out of their way and spending a couple more sunrises and sunsets out of their mortal lives crammed into a train car in order to save $150.

Now let's talk about my latest revelation.

From what I can determine, Amtra(c)k is an island unto itself beyond a few selected bus connections here and there which they own and operate one way or the other.

Imagine if you went to the Delta Airlines website or called Delta reservations and all you could do was buy tickets to EXACTLY where Delta flies with their own airplanes?

No connections with "Partner Airlines" or "commuters", just Atlanta to St. Louis...

Delta Agent: "You're on you're own getting to Moline buddy."

Me: "Does someone rent horses or skis or roller skates?"

Delta Agent: Don't know...don't care...Next in Line...

That's the way it is with Amtra(c)k.

These idiots go to tens of dozens of cities like NY city and Philadelphia that have extensive commuter rail and bus systems, but do they provide any of that information like cost and itinerary coordination in their maps and web site based ticketing?

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

This morning, in addition to the Amtra(c)k website locking up every time I got close to planning a March trip to NY city and into Eastern Pennsylvania to visit some of Pat's family, they left me on my own when it came to finding which station I had to disembark at in order to connect with the commuter rail.

How the Hell can we continue to allow a so called "modern" "taxpayer funded' company, in the year 2008, surrounded by investor owned airlines employing sophisticated software to support things like seating capacity control and the coordination with connecting flights, to not have any idea how to jump off their train and get on another train in order to get to your final destination.

While Delta makes a few dollars selling Continental and American seats in addition to their own flights, evidently Amta(c)k's too stupid or egotistical to work with the "competition" riding over and around the exact same rails...

AND LOSING MONEY DOING IT.

And while I'm at it, it just came to mind to say this:

Go ahead all you Independents and Democrats. Hire yourself a new President in November, and then look over your shoulder in a few months at Amtra(c)k for a business model. Then a few years later, I'll point out Amtra(c)k as prime, brutal evidence of Government success when you cheer as they start up your new "Universal Health Care System."

Idiots... At least you can drive or fly and stay off the government trains, but try hoisting your butt into the stirrups or turning your head and coughing in a government run doctor's office five years from now.

I bet that will serve to wipe the ignorant bleeding heart liberal smirk off your face and add a new pucker to your ass.

(taking a big breath...where's my twelve step program when I need it)

Engine Flame-Out And Icing on the Wings

Eject...Eject...Eject...


Well Folks, in spite of my best laid plans, the National Weather Service decided at the last minute to cancel this week's ration of Global Warming induced havoc, instead crashing the temperature and bringing snow to everywhere north of our little Island this weekend.

Thank GOD my business in Knoxville was delayed a week at their request this morning, and since I've still not heard from the Lawyers in Atlanta I'm making an executive decision to stay home and hide here in the rainy, windy 50 degree temperatures burning fake logs in our fireplace this weekend.

Thus the beauty of being a professional beach bum semi-unemployed being your own boss...you can say #$@%& it and just sit home if you want to.

I really want to see some snow again in person since it's been five or six years, but driving across the Appalachian Trail and down I-40 in 30 degree temps isn't my idea of a good use of my time.

Oh well, there's always saw dust to make over on the renovation job site.

Last Minute Travel

Visiting Winter On Winter's Own Terms...


Besides dodging a couple inches of warm rain ( it was 70 degrees F here yesterday), joining Chili Cooking Teams, and getting another one of my Ranting Public Service letters to the local newspaper published, I've spent part of this past week trying to put together a business and pleasure trip around the southeast beginning this weekend and continuing into late next week.

Business concerns of course take precedence, but since a lawyer in Atlanta is standing between me and the scene of the boiler plant accident I need to look at, as usual things have been delayed until the last minute, making it hard to plan the pleasure part of the excursion.

If things work out tomorrow morning we'll be jumping in the car to traverse I95 northward up the Georgia Coast, then northwest across the South Carolina Piedmont on I-26 to spend the weekend with my college roommate Rusty in Greenville, South Carolina.

Then the plan is on Sunday to head north to Asheville for lunch, then on across the Smokey Mountains to Knoxville, TN for a couple of nights for a secondary business purpose.

I pray that the weather is kind to us, because I hate having to wear a sweater and jacket ... heck ... I hardly wear socks most of the time down here (don't EVEN ask about underwear.)

Finally, if the lawyers will let me visit, I'll be back in Atlanta on Wednesday or Thursday crawling around the basement of a big downtown hotel, before returning to our beloved Island in time to thaw out and return things back to our normal slow existence.

I'll probably have to take an extra long nap once the dust settles. I sure wish May would hurry up and get here.

Chili For 160 Close Friends

Or 12 Gallons Of Sample Sized Servings...


I suspect that my regular readers think that they can probably guess what we had for dinner here on our little Island last night, but you'd be WRONG if you assumed dinner consisted of CHILI.

Confusingly, I did actually cook slightly over a gallon pot of my Chili, but when it was all said and done my concoction was so spicy that I was afraid for Pat and Missy The Turbo Pup to eat it, and assaulting my own Colon with an entire meal sized portion was also a source of declining middle aged concern.

Instead, we wandered around the corner to Larry's Giant Subs and enjoyed nice safe sandwiches for dinner after delivering a sample of my first test batch of thermonuclear material Iranian Reactor Fuel Virgil's Flaming Anus Porridge Chili over to Blackwater Grill for comment and criticism.

It's really an interesting exercise trying to develop a recipe for 12 gallons of food to be cooked in a four hour window of time, in a public venue, in a safe and sanitary manner.

First of all, let me tell you that in my considered opinion the spices are EVERYTHING when it comes to making a successful product.

The other thing is texture...Chili shouldn't just be a pureed bowl of gloppy crap, nor should it be a bowl full of beans and tomato sauce with a little ground beef thrown in for good measure.

Good Chili is a complex mixture of textures and layers of flavors, and good chili has a substantial quantity of MEAT in it. Chili should also not have thin streams of semi clear juice running out of it onto your plate or bowl when you spoon it out of the pot.

Is that really too much to ask?

Any way, leave it to me as usual to turn what many consider to be a simple one pot dish into a science project. Somehow I believe that the end in fact does justify the means and I think that my efforts will yield a superior product as a result.

Take yesterday's results for example. All it needs is a little fine tuning on the spice listing and I believe I have a winner

Assuming things proceed as planned, and at the risk of someone stealing my product and beating me with it, here's the unofficial list of what will be happening in a couple of giant pots about six weeks from now:

Initial Calculations: 12 gallons = 1536 ounces, 48 quarts, 160 regular dinner sized servings.

Liquid Ingredients

(12) bottles Guiness Stout Dark Beer
(12) cans Beef Stock
(12) 28 ounce cans Pureed tomatoes
(12) 28 ounce cans Diced Tomatoes

Dry Ingredients

(1) pound Bacon cooked & crumbled with Drippings
(24) pounds London Broil Beef, cooked medium and shredded before adding to the mix
(12) 15.5 ounce cans dark red kidney or Pinto beans
(12) medium onions diced coarse
(24) cloves garlic, diced fine
(2) small cans Chipolte peppers in Adobo Sauce **
(12) squares Baker's Chocolate

Spices:

3 tsp Red pepper flakes **
6 tsp chili powder
6 tbsp cumin
3 tsp paprika
3 tsp ground red pepper **
3 tsp black pepper
3 tsp white pepper

Salt to taste

(**these ingredients will make or break the dish and injure you and your dog at the same time.)

Unless you work in a commercial kitchen, I think that you will find that list sort of amazing.

Be advised that there is a detailed process involved in how it is all put together, and I'm reserving that description, along with a household sized ingredient list, for publication in early March after our Chili Cooking Team has won first place in the Cookoff.

Time to go taste the ongoing Chili cooking again now... I'm trying to tone it down a little.

Update 1/17/08 3:30 PM

I received a comment asking about the inclusion of Baker's chocolate in this recipe, and I couldn't resist answering her question.

Since the Chocolate is unsweetened, I can't say that it does anything relative to the Tomato acidity--I use sugar in my pasta sauces for that purpose (and I don't put sugar in my Chili.)

All I know is that I've read and heard for years about people putting chocolate in their chili, and the last few batches I've made included chocolate and it does add a subtle undercurrent to the flavor, in addition to darkening the color of the mixture visually.

The same applies to using a bottle of $10 a six pack Guinness Dark Beer versus Bud Light or just plain water...I BELIEVE it makes the Chili better, so I use it.

Any more questions?

Ugly Is As Ugly Does

Entertaining...Versus Just Complaining?



You got a minute?

I've slowly been coming to a substantial realization about my blogging efforts--both political and culinary. Sit down, grab yourself a glass of your favorite beverage, and let me bounce some ideas off of you if you don't mind.

In retrospect, I think that thus far I pretty much look like a pompous, at best somewhat talented Ass....with the emphasis being on the "ass" part of the equation.

Is that not a fair assessment?

I've pretty much offended everyone out there that can be offended, even some groups and individuals that really do deserve some coddling and protection in the name of civility or based on social/mental/physical infirmity.

To that end, I realize that I've GOT to GET ORGANIZED.

If I were to sit down regularly and make some notes, thereby capturing 50% of the ideas which I come up with during an average day so that I could follow through with researching and writing something meaningful, this place and the Redneck Gourmet could become something other than just a haunt for my friends and family and a few well placed acquaintances here on the Internet.

Thus far my blog only serves as some sort of a psyco(illogical) early warning system for a few folks out there. My Mom calls if I disappear for more than 24 hours on line, while a number of people out there probably celebrate my absence, but you still keep coming back when it's all said and done.

My buddy Steve over at Hog On Ice has given up writing about Politics almost entirely because he recognises that you alienate 50% of your potential readers when you open your mouth or place your fingers on a computer keyboard to enter the political arena--even if you are right in what you say. Publication of conservative and libertarian views causes even greater conflict for some reason.

Instead, Mr. Grahm has expanded his efforts into humor and Podcasting, and I've listened to and participated in a couple of his Sunday evening shows about cooking and it's an interesting concept I agree will continue to gain in popularity.

The other thing that Steve has done is sell books. Two cookbooks and another strange compilation about torturing Nigerian Spammers, but the man has cash flowing in his direction as a direct result of his writing.

Thus this realization...

I've made money drawing things on paper and computers for years. That said, why can't I retire in luxury as a result of my writing efforts--IF I can learn to better use spellcheck and understand the difference between the proper usage of words like "that" and "which" which I constantly mutilate to the chagrin of the school teachers and English majors in my audience.

I really do love writing, and in spite of how I felt in High School and College, it really isn't what I'd consider work today to toss together four or five thousand words given the right inspiration.

Now...

While you laugh hysterically at my public daydreaming, I have to get ready to go make some more sawdust over on the Job site. Callouses aren't much use on the keyboard, but right now making them thicker is the only way I have to get the funds to pay my bills.

Have a nice Wednesday...If you will.

I'm A Chili Chef?

Strange Aspirations...


The call came in about 5 PM today, and on the other end of the phone was my buddy John that owns the local low country restaurant--Blackwater Grill.

The subject of the conversation?


Incredibly, John was asking ME to bring MY Chili recipe and my spices down to Neptune Park on March 1st and lead his team in cooking 12 gallons of chili in St. Simon Island's annual Chili Cookoff this year.

Dang I'm flattered.

We didn't make it last year, but we attended two years ago and found it to be a real hoot, featuring live music and twenty or thirty teams of people scrambling to put together their giant pots of glop while consuming mass quantities of beer and entertaining their public audiences and their own inflated egos.

So now I can plan on adding my own imminent persona to this roster, and in the mean time I guess I'm test cooking some more Chili in order to fine tune the recipe.

I'm so excited I could just bust....

I Want My "Vigorous Secondary Screening"

My Prostate and Spleen's Been Bothering Me Lately...


I swear People, the only thing that keeps me from just walking around spewing profanity at every one and every thing all day long these days is the knowledge that I never reproduced and within the next twenty to forty years nothing I think will matter...and I guess that assertion is based on the assumption that I can still think at all in the mean time.

Seriously...much of the time I just want to break into my best Walter Brennan or Sam Kinison imitation and let the world have it verbally. Here on the blog I know that it shows in spite of my best efforts to the contrary much of the time.

My eyes are rolled so far back in my head right now from the Presidential campaign bullshit I've watched that I have to lay face down in the bed on my stomach to see the alarm clock in the morning, and I know more about what is going on behind me than I do in front of me as I stagger through the day in a Turrets-like trance.

Am I somehow the only one that feels this way?

No?

Well, what really got this evening's rant started was this story about some new argument about the use of State issued ID's to gain access to commercial airline flights.

WASHINGTON - Millions of air travelers may find going through airport security much more complicated this spring, as the Bush administration heads toward a showdown with state governments over post-Sept. 11 rules for new driver's licenses. By May, the dispute could leave millions of people unable to use their licenses to board planes, but privacy advocates called that a hollow threat by federal officials.

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, who was unveiling final details of the REAL ID Act's rules on Friday, said that if states want their licenses to remain valid for air travel after May 2008, those states must seek a waiver indicating they want more time to comply with the legislation.

The deadline is an effort to get states to begin phasing in the REAL ID program. Citizens born after Dec. 1, 1964, would have six years to get a new license; older Americans would have until 2017.

Chertoff said that for any state which doesn't seek such a waiver by May, residents of that state will have to use a passport or certain types of federal border-crossing cards if they want to avoid a vigorous secondary screening at airport security.

"The last thing I want to do is punish citizens of a state who would love to have a REAL ID license but can't get one," Chertoff said. "But in the end, the rule is the rule as passed by Congress."

Would someone please give me a break here?

We're actually electing people and paying people to sit around worrying about crap like this, and argue about something as basic as being able to prove who you are when you walk up to a gate at an airport?

Where do I go to slap some sense into someone, and where do I mail my letter complaining and demanding that we all get over crap like this and get on with worrying about something that actually matters?

I swear people...we're doomed... Doomed... DOOMED to imploding just like the Greek and Roman civilizations, and there are people out there that actually want that to happen and will somehow enjoy it when it occurs.

I just want to last long enough to see the look on their faces when their government certified "screener" places the inspection wand up into their rectum in front of their kids at the airport while Mohammad and Ishmail walk unfettered past the process onto the airplane with their strap on bombs.

Idiots...

PS...I Wrote this on Saturday, and let it loose on you today.

You're welcome...

I Bought This On eBay Today

Replacement Literature


Back in the day, I had a pretty nice collection of books, including textbooks, Engineering industry specific technical literature; and stuff from my childhood which my parents had bought me to read in order to keep me from appearing to be an idiot when chronologically I should have been a literate Adult.

In anticipation of that upcoming event (finally being considered a literate adult...or an idiot, depending on your political affiliation and world view perspective), this item will be arriving at my house via UPS this week:

This edition was published in 1903. I missed one circa 1876 last week because I wasn't paying attention, and lost it by $5.

Good God the Internet is an amazing resource.

(UPDATE 7:36 PM EST. I forgot to mention to those that aren't regular readers that my house burned down back in April 2001 and took virtually everything but my ego and memories away with it into ashes on that spring day. I've gotten over the event years ago, but once in a while I find things which indirectly remind me of the conflagration, else allow me to at least partially overcome the effect of my losses ...thus today's posting.)

Scary Stuff

Thanks To Captain Ed And Chris Muir...

My Internet Blogger Friend and Idol Captain Ed over at Captain's Quarters put the original photoshop image up, and Internet Cartoonist Chris Muir over at the "Day by Day" site improved it.

Please send Fred a few dollars if you can, I did.

Head Still Spinning

Profanity Still Imminent


Would someone please tell me what the heck is going on over at the Weather Channel these days?

They've apparently shifted their emphasis from forecasting the weather (thus the name) to telling me stupid shit that could have and should have come out of Owl Gore's Pie Hole.

Climate Change Morons...can't live with them, won't live without them coming into your home on your TV when you least expecte them.

Where's my recycled Asphalt (what we call a "Butt Defect" where I'm from in Alabama) toilet paper when I see something that needs wiping ??

Dammit...

Dang I'm Cranky

Self Censorship


Blogging is hereby canceled until I have something nice to say (or at least temper the ugly stuff that comes out of my brain and off of my fingertips.)

Go FRED...Go FRED...Go FRED

Could South Carolina Be The Turning Point?


I halfway watched the FOX News Republican debate tonight, and my man Fred Thompson looked pretty good from what I saw.

The follow up rhetoric was also positive, but after my call on sHrillary's fall in New Hampshire, who am I to say anything which you should listen to?

Timber!!!

Taking Names And Breaking Things


Amazingly enough, I did something today that I've never done before.

I managed to drop my new cheep pre-hung metal front door while trying to install it into the rough opening. I fortunately was standing INSIDE, as it fell OUTSIDE, and neither Pat nor Missy The Turbo Pup were in the way of it's crashing demise so the only casualty was the door and finger jointed wooden frame, which was destroyed.

After a short burst of bitching and complaining about bad luck, the debris were moved to the junk pile, the opening had scrap OSB temporarily screwed across it into place, and I retreated back across the causeway to lick my wounded ego and contemplate plan B tomorrow.

The good news is that I had regretted buying a plain six panel door to begin with, so absorbing the loss financially also allows me to buy something a little nicer with some kind of glass window in the upper 1/3 to add a little more style to the entryway.

Other than that, I'm a bit short on words these days as you may have noticed, but I'm sure that's nothing a little reading and the passage of time can't repair.

Until then....feel free to entertain yourselves.

Eight Thousand Votes Short

Yeah....Well...What Can I Say???


Ed...So I wake up to this Crap, and someone expects me to be nice about it?

Time to get ready to go make some sawdust, and maybe I'll practice crying a little for my political shortcomings.

The Whimper Heard 'Round The World

Too Good To Be True...


OK Folks, I'm not gonna outline the blow by blow political playcalling here because everyone on the Internet can find the Campaign stories for themselves, but just let me say that I am truly amazed that sHrillary's effort is apparently falling apart before our very eyes.

This from a well oiled political machine that was described as having a lock on the presidency four if not eight years ago.

By ten PM tonight in New Hampshire, another tiny state (1.3 million population, 95.8% white), I think that we all should know where things are going for sure.

It will be a tribute to the power of the Bloggers, FOX News, and the other members of the New Media if she drops out of the contest for President of the By God United States of America--going down in flames.

Twenty years ago this would not have been possible.

Heck, ten years ago this would probably not have been possible, but today YOU have a choice in how and where you get your news, and today WE will not let the lamestream media spoon feed us their usual liberal far left pablum.

For that, I am grateful, and I am pleased to contribute my five cents worth from this corner of the Bloggosphere.

Now it's time to get ready to go make some more sawdust. I hope you all have a good day...if you will.


.

John McCain & The World's Thinnest Comb-Over

Searching For A Spoon With Which To Gag Myself...


Excuse me for saying this this way, but after watching a replay of the latest FOX News Republican debate, I sincerely believe that the media and 99% of the national politicians think that most of us out here in the good old US of A are either simplistic liars or just plain stupid, and as a result that we are willing to listen to and believe inane political candidates who/whom have the exact same character.

I don't know, maybe we have done something in the past to support that notion, but today you won't find me participating.

Let's get a few things straight here...OK?

My MONEY is MY MONEY...DAMMIT. Get off my ASS and your fingers out of my WALLET.

Next...

SOCIAL SECURITY SUCKS, AND I NEVER EXPECT TO GET ANYTHING OUT OF IT...let me out of the program.

Finally...

Aliens...from MARS or Mexico..AND their drooling snot nosed children, which are "undocumented" are also according to current laws criminals and should be INELIGIBLE FOR GOVERNMENT ASSISTANCE OF ANY FORM except possibly a a bus ticket or a boot on the ass to kick them and their Tacos back across the border.

GOT IT??????

By the way, that same sentiment is directed at ALL of you...Democrats and Republicans.

(meanwhile...Democrats...Who's gonna be YOUR Huckleby Huckleberry... sHrillary or Obama???)

Windows In...Moving On.org

Back To Where We Started


I'm quite pleased to report that we walked off the job site at a little after three PM Sunday with the front exterior of the building's skin secured for the first time in weeks.

What an epic saga...

If there is ever such a thing as momentum in my work ethic, I'm harnessing it now by showing up tomorrow with Pat and Missy The Turbo Pup A.K.A "Official Job site Security Dog" in tow and we're going to do some more window demolition in the living/dining/kitchen area--hoping to get at least one if not two or three holes in the concrete block walls stuffed with their new wooden framed glass components.

I'm glad that there isn't a TV crew hanging around filming an episode of "Flip this House" or some other home improvement show based on my efforts, because I think that the final result thus far would have to be shown on the Comedy Channel or possibly MTV's "Jackass" series.

Don't worry, I am taking photos of my progress but due to the extreme nature of the scope of the renovation metamorphosis I'm saving any publication until the front facade is closer to completion i.e. the siding and trim is in place.

Believe me when I say the the changes are quite dramatic.

Hardly a day goes by when someone doesn't stop to ask about the availability of the property, although most passers-by are interested in renting, and my heart is set on selling the like new finished product to some deserving family in order to enjoy the pleasure of home ownership.

Maybe I'm just a bad businessman, but I'm willing to take a slightly lower yet fair price for my efforts if the right people come along, and the City of Brunswick has a number of down payment assistance programs I hope to take advantage of to that end.

Investors, on the other hand, will have to get their wallets and check books out because I want FULL PRICE for my pain and blood if you want to possess my baby.

Thursday/Friday Re-runs

Rework Makes Me Cranky...


I almost stayed home today out of apathy and disgust, but then the 2% of sanity and maturity in my brain took over and forced me out the door a little after noon, resolute to at least START cutting the three new window openings.

When 3:30 came around I had managed to grind and saw my way through the 2x4's and tar paper to produce the desired dimensions--sans the new vapor sealing which will have to wait until Sunday.

The process really wasn't that bad physically, but mentally doing things like this gets to me because I put so much care and pride in building things accurately and square to begin with.

Now from the outside you can't really tell what happened, but until I get the interior wooden finishing and trim work done a month from now I have to look at the scene of the crime evidence of the rework and no matter what...

I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

Believe me when I say that it won't happen again in the future, without someone suffering a head injury or potential dislocated arm or leg.

Tomorrow I'll get the openings resealed and set the windows, and Monday morning we'll be back on schedule hardly worse for the wear in the long run. My head has stopped throbbing and my blood pressure is near normal again, so I guess it's time to enjoy the balance of Saturday night and get some reading and writing done.

Until then...have a good one...if you will...

Backwards Thinking

Mental Digression...


Your Grade: B (84%)
You Passed with an Above Average Score:





Click on the above and go take the test yourself if you think that you're so smart...

.

Outsmarting Myself

With More Than A Little Help From My Vendors...


There was a time in my life when days like today would have made me start screaming and throwing things around the job site. I try not to get that angry and act like that any more, but I certainly have good reason to be more than a little upset with my window vendor as of about one thirty this afternoon.

I was literally ready to starting squirting Silicone Caulk into the window framing when I realized something was seriously wrong.

From the very beginning I've had to beg them for information. First the guy I'm working with is hardly ever in the office and he's the only one that apparently handles the MW Windows product line. The week I got pricing the factory was heavily damaged by a tornado, and every time I've called I always have to wait for the guy to call me back.

I went over to pick up data sheets on the windows back in the summer and he gave me the Vinyl sheet even though I was wanting wood--saying that every style was the same and used the same rough opening dimensions and he didn't have the wood data sheet.

When I bought the windows and went down to deliver my deposit check, the guy wasn't there.

When I called to schedule the delivery last month the guy wasn't there either, so it wasn't surprising that he also wasn't in the building when I called today to get an explanation for why the three new rough openings I had just finished sealing into the new sheathed wall with tar paper and insulating tape were 2'-8" wide x 3'-10" high, and my windows were 2'-9 1/2" wide x 4'-1" high.

Oh the coworker told me--everyone knows that you buy vinyl windows based on the rough opening dimensions, where wood windows are sized based on the actual sash dimensions.

NEWS TO ME...I ASKED WHEN I GOT THE DATA SHEET AND I SPECIFIED THE ROUGH OPENING DIMS ON THE PHONE WHEN I PLACED THE ORDER.

Needless to say, since there is nothing in writing, and since the windows were custom built, that there is no sending them back IF I were willing to wait for them to be rebuilt, so tomorrow morning I'll be taking my Sawsall and mutilating my beautiful symmetrical wall framework--carving out the headers and jack/cripple studs, punching holes in my carefully taped vapor barrier to make room to re-hack enlarge the rough window holes with my circular saw.

That's a good way to spend a Saturday--wasting five or six additional hours re-doing something that would have and should have only taken four to do right in the first place.

Thanks to all the lovely people over at Varsity Supply...you really have made my day.

(What really kills me is that the windows have been stored on site for nearly a month and I was working off AutoCAD drawings done at home with the data sheet, and not once did I ever think to check the window sizes with a tape measure--I just read the stickers and saw 2-8 x 3-10 designation and continued wandering ignorantly along in my journey. All I can say is that it really sucks being a near Freaking Genius when almost half the population can apparently barely read else just doesn't give a damn.)

Back To Reality The Job Site Again

Cold Weather Construction


I'm sitting here this morning watching the thermometer and basking in the warm glow I get when thinking about the upside down apple cart that was the Democratic Caucus in Iowa yesterday.

I harbor no real ill will toward the Lamestream Media and ardent Democrats, but I think that it's hilarious when the pundits and the prognosticators get things so TOTALLY WRONG as they did when they wanted to declare sHrillary Queen of the Universe when she entered the race last year.

I have the same attitude toward sports people that want to hang their hats on Football and Basketball rankings instead of waiting for the actual games to be played in order to determine who has the best five or eleven players.

Any way, when it hits 48 or 50 degrees outside we're heading over to Brunswick to finish the tarpaper vapor barrier on the new addition and install three new double hung windows in what will eventually be the dining room.

Then next week I'd like to get the new front door installed and the siding and trim on the front of the building so we can put a For Sale sign in the front yard and get this show on the road.

I've got a giant chunk of my cash invested in this project and I'm tired of waiting on appreciation to yield an increase in my paper net worth--I think that it's time to see some evidence of my financial success in my bank balance in the next eight to ten weeks.

The good news is that by selling this spring before the Democrats start screwing around with the Capital Gains Tax again, I'm looking at something like a 5% tax rate on the profits of taking the risk to renovate a property in an economically depressed, minority part of a Southern US City.

Of course there are people out there that lament me attempting to make a profit off of "poor people"--they think that I should GIVE my time and resources to the "less fortunate" else let the government steal my money and spend it on their behalf while denying me any say in the process.

I'd say that overall this exercise has been a success, because you don't pay FICA/FUTA/Social Security Tax on Rental income and with the lower Capital Gains Taxes I've basically beat the system--keeping more of my money for my benefit while at the same time improving the social condition of our community...something the government and liberals love to talk about but rarely accomplish.

sHrillary Finishes Third In Iowa

Heh...


You couldn't PAY me to be on a broom stick an airplane with her tonight. Small children probably aren't safe from her wrath.

(go Fred go Fred go Fred)

One Hand Clapping

Other In Pocket Keeping Warm...


Let's see...what's going on out there today...geez...it's 28 degrees F outside...I've got body parts starting to shrivel up and fall off if I'm not careful.

In other news, my Mom's having a birthday today--Happy Birthday Mom.

Last year at this time we were getting ready for a big surprise party at the local bed and breakfast inn with her siblings and her fellow Red Hatters. No such luck this year Mom, but happy birthday anyway...stay warm there with the Tom Cat.

What else...

Oh yeah...out in Iowa the media is in a full blown salivating frenzy as something less than 1/2 million people attempt to decide the fate of the governance of the free world in some inane process called a "caucus."

Then this...McDonalds is dumping the McRib Sandwich for good. I can't say that I rue that event, because I never ate a McRib, but I do look forward to the new McPossum and McArmadillo feasts coming out later in 2008.

Meanwhile, I delivered another $300 worth of materials to the job site yesterday, but it's just too cold with the wind chill down in the teens to get anything done today, so I guess we'll stay home and finish tearing down Christmas lights and boxing up decorations. I had to buy four more jumbo storage containers at Lowe's yesterday just to contain the new stuff that arrived by UPS and was lugged home and in through the front door in the process of the seasonal celebrations.

Something else that caught my eye this morning was news stories about the FAA implementing some kind of ban on Lithium batteries in checked baggage. I did a little Googling, and as usual the rocket scientists in the media are all over the map with the details, so I went straight to the horse's mouth to the FAA Website for the straight poop:

Effective January 1, 2008, the following rules apply to the spare lithium batteries you carry with you in case the battery in a device runs low:

Spare batteries are the batteries you carry separately from the devices they power. When batteries are installed in a device, they are not considered spare batteries.

You may not pack a spare lithium battery in your checked baggage

You may bring spare lithium batteries with you in carry-on baggage – see our spare battery tips and how-to sections to find out how to pack spare batteries safely!

Even though we recommend carrying your devices with you in carry-on baggage as well, if you must bring one in checked baggage, you may check it with the batteries installed.

The following quantity limits apply to both your spare and installed batteries. The limits are expressed in grams of “equivalent lithium content.” 8 grams of equivalent lithium content is approximately 100 watt-hours. 25 grams is approximately 300 watt-hours:

Under the new rules, you can bring batteries with up to 8-gram equivalent lithium content. All lithium ion batteries in cell phones are below 8 gram equivalent lithium content. Nearly all laptop computers also are below this quantity threshold.

You can also bring up to two spare batteries with an aggregate equivalent lithium content of up to 25 grams, in addition to any batteries that fall below the 8-gram threshold. Examples of two types of lithium ion batteries with equivalent lithium content over 8 grams but below 25 are shown below.

For a lithium metal battery, whether installed in a device or carried as a spare, the limit on lithium content is 2 grams of lithium metal per battery.

Almost all consumer-type lithium metal batteries are below 2 grams of lithium metal. But if you are unsure, contact the manufacturer!

As is usual with the government, that's certainly nice and clear...isn't it?

I'll keep all of that in mind next time I fly somewhere.

Here's something weird...IBM is paying their employees to get up off their asses and exercise.

How's this for incentive to stick to your new year's resolutions: cold hard cash. Many companies are offering a little extra in your paycheck to help you shed the pounds. Not only does Stefanie Chiras' company pay her to develop computer memory sub-systems, but a little extra to eat right."

Having work sponsor it makes you kind of feel like someone is buying into It," said Chiras. "And then certainly the cash at the end of the day is an incentive."Chiras works for IBM. She gets an additional $150 in her paycheck for tracking her eating habits online and losing weight."

When I reach for that next unhealthy thing, I think, oh, but I have to log it in to the tool."IBM launched its voluntary wellness incentive program four years ago – handing each employee up to $300 a year for completing healthy eating, exercise and preventative care programs.

I guess that makes sense, since IBM apparently spends nearly $2 billion on employee health care annually.

Good thing these people don't work for me, because my idea of a functional "voluntary wellness incentive program" would be to hand your giant lard ass a rake and shovel when you show up at work weighing 350 pounds and not let you back inside to recline in front of a computer in air conditioned luxury until the parking lot and highway frontage was clean and you had sweated off twenty or thirty pounds in a week.

Call me insensitive, I guess...

So any way, in the interest of my own health I guess that I'll spend the day laying around in my PJ's, huddled by some fake logs burning in the fireplace contemplating the things I'm not getting done over on my construction project.

Since I don't even care about the bowl games these days, my life is spent in a catatonic stupor of "just don't give a damn" as FOX News drones on about the 2008 Presidential election.

Is it just me?

Burrrrrrrrr

Someone Please Add Another Log To The Fire...


It's COLD down here on our little Island.

Of course, it is January, so I guess that's not supposed to be a surprise.

Yeah...Yeah...Yeah...2008...

Happy New Year And All That Stuff...


I regret to admit that I was asleep by 10:30 last night so I missed the dropping of balls and firing of fireworks and the balance of the festivities.

I guess that I'm just getting old. Ten years ago I was running around Atlanta in a Lincoln Limousine until the wee hours of the morning with an entourage of college friends and business associates I was hosting for the evening--how times change.

2008 found me in a coma at midnight, and I didn't budge again until 4:30 AM when it was time to get up and check my Boston Pork butt which was reclining in a lovely brine mixture in a big pot in a cooler full of ice in the kitchen.

I was also haunted by a giant bundle of Turnip Greens, Spinach, and Kale that needed washing in the sink and a load of Black Eyed Peas that had soaked overnight yesterday and were yet partially cooked on my stove top.

I'm trying to hit the ground running in the new year, so after searing the pork butt in my giant Cast Iron Dutch Oven and setting it cooking on a low 200 degree F heat we'll head over to Lowes for a couple of sheets of OSB and some caulk, then visit the job site for four or five hours finishing the external sheathing and installing three windows in the new front wall of the dining room.

Unfortunately winter will arrive here on our little island this week, with temperatures expected down into the mid to upper 20's Wednesday night and gusty winds blowing the Spanish Moss out of the trees in the yard. I've got to move all five thousand five hundred fifty of Pat's ferns and other tropical plants into the garage and sun porch between now and then in order to avert disaster. We only have to look forward to a dozen or so nights of this kind of weather down here--so it's sort of a shock when it arrives to interrupt our otherwise balmy existence.

At least Georgia Tech managed to not start the year with an ugly loss in football (instead finishing the year with an ugly loss), losing 40 to 28 yesterday on some kind of blue football field out in Idaho in the Humanitarian Bowl. On behalf of all of the GT Alumni, I offer my apology if you felt compelled to watch the game (I didn't.)

In other football news of note, Auburn beat Clemson (I laugh no matter who wins because I know engineers from both schools), my Dad's Alma mater Kentucky beat Florida State, and let's hope that Hawaii gives Georgia a good pounding so I can live in peace for the next eight months here in the Peach State.

I smell my greens boiling, so I guess that I better go check on them. Have a nice New Years day everyone, and don't be tempted to make any resolutions you're not prepared to keep.

Know what I mean?

Clinton Campaign Has A Good Point

They're Thinking Speaking The Unspeakable Unthinkable...


It seems that last weekend a few folks associated with the Clinton campaign made some public comments about the potential invalidity of maintaining Iowa voter's importance in the overall National election picture.

CEDAR FALLS, Iowa (CNN) – Just days before the Iowa caucuses, a prominent Hillary Clinton supporter criticized the state’s privileged role in the presidential nominating process, forcing her campaign to declare that she did not agree with the assessment.

Ohio Gov. Ted Strickland was quoted in Sunday’s edition of The Columbus Dispatch as saying that it “makes no sense” to grant Iowa the right to hold the first contest of the 2008 race for the White House.

"I'd like to see both parties say, 'We're going to bring this to an end,'" Strickland told the newspaper.

Competing campaigns seized on the article and emailed it around to reporters to highlight Strickland’s comments late Sunday night. The Clinton campaign moved quickly, and issued a statement shortly after midnight distancing the New York senator from the governor’s remarks.

“Senator Clinton has worked her heart out campaigning in Iowa because she knows it plays a unique and special role in the nominating process and that process must be protected,” read the statement. “As she has said many times she is glad Iowans are entrusted with this responsibility because they take it so seriously. On this issue Hillary and Gov. Strickland strongly disagree.”

Now wait just a darn minute Folks...I think that the good Governor might be on to something here, because I've wondered that exact same thing myself in the past election years and again in the past few weeks heading into January.

Bringing the subject up again, I did a little Googling and found this information about the state of Iowa here and here.

When thinking about the validity of kicking off something as important as the process of choosing the president of the most powerful nation on the planet, wouldn't you expect to base the first results on an "average" sampling of people representing the country's "Average" population, right?

Well, if that were the case than you'd be WRONG, because the population of Iowa is far, far from a representation of the true average American mainstream. For instance:

Iowa's population is only 2,982,000--less than 1% of the nation's total (by the way, being an Agricultural state, there are 16.6 million Hogs living in Iowa...do they get to "caucus" also?)

The population of Iowa's largest city, Des Moines, is only 194,311.

Unfortunately, something which I couldn't find valadation of was the true count of the number of people expected to actually show up at the polls for the Democratic and Republican primaries on January 3rd. Based on averages, it's probably less than 50% of registered voters--many times somewhere in the 20% or 30% range.

That means you can knock the Iowa Caucus down to being the opinion of somewhere in the area of less than a million people out of 300 million Americans...1/3 of 1%.

I'm sure that you will excuse me if I admit that for some reason I personally am not impressed.

That said, now I have to ask how in the heck the media and the political elite can place so much emphasis on what Iowa "Caucusers" think this week, when most of the time they could care less what the farmers and "hayseed" residents of our country believe and about which issues they worry about on a daily basis?

After all, there is no major metropolitan area in the state of Iowa and, with so few people living within its external borders, what's the big deal with what this little 1% of Amercans think?

And another interesting thing I found when looking at the demographic data on the Great State of Iowa--something that should piss off Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton in the process...

Iowa's population is 95% white/Caucasian, with African Americans and Hispanics making up only 2.3% and 3.7 % of the citizenry respectively.

I thought that those numbers were somewhere around 12% and 14% nationally.

How can they let that happen?

Yeah...I thought so...

NY Times Gets A Clue?

Possibly


In the past, I, like many other independent minded/libertarian/conservatives, have lambasted the NY Times editorial page for their inane, one sided content that most of the time cannot stand up to even the lowest levels of intellectual scrutiny.

As a result, in the past year or so the Times elected to hide their Editorial content in their online edition behind their paid subscription service--ostensibly as a protective measure shielding their mush-mined columists from bloggers like myself who are not willing to toss cash at them in return for the hours and pages of blogging topics their ill founded and poorly thought out essays represent.

In spite of this ongoing online blockade, this morning I was pleased to learn about the Sunday announcement that conservative columnist Bill Kristol is joining pseudo-conservative David Brooks on the NY Times editorial page next week.

His column will run one day a week against the two a week offerings of Paul Krugman, Maureen Dowd, Thomas Friedman, Nick Kristof, and Gail Collins.

Of course liberals the world over are shrieking in indignation that the Times, with Brooks two columns and Kristol's weekly offering, is now at a 1-1/2 to 5 disadvantage in opinion thinking (or the lack thereof.)

The move still doesn't make things at the NY Times fair and balanced in my opinion either, but it's a good start.

Of course the liberals will probably expect the Times to hire Al Franken or Al Gore or even Wierd Al Yankovic to slide things back to the left.

I say let them eat cake...

The First Bar-B-Que Grilling

And Shepherd's Kept Watch Over their Weber Kettles Flocks By Night...




(click to enlarge)

Notice the little Black and Tan Dockie standing Guard?

Instead of a charcoal grill, that thing in the middle is actually a little candle holder I bought this weekend in my Mother's favorite gift shop in her home town.

Obviously we made it back home this afternoon to our little island in spite of Mother Nature's wrath, and after unpacking and consuming a nice Sushi dinner...I believe that I'll rest now.

Also, I guess that I'll get an early start on wishing you all a Happy New Year...a day and a half in advance...

Drought...What Drought???

Would Someone Please Call Noah?


I hereby announce that I've come to believe that I have weather powers verging on "Mythical."

You see, I can conjure up a major rainstorm virtually every single time that I visit my century old family farm in south Alabama--IF I have work to do outside.

When it's not raining, then it's 100 degrees and I'm trying to stand on the roof or work in the attic of the house.

We've visited south Alabama twice in the past week and one half and it's rained EVERY SINGLE DAY I'VE BEEN HERE, and it's not just affecting me and my good intentions--it's getting to the entire family.

Instead of letting Missy the Turbo Pup wander around the lake without a leash attached to her fuzzy neck, we've been forced to tie a rope to her and let her take a few steps off the breeze way by the pool to "do her business."

The roofs and gutters on three buildings are still covered with pine straw, and there is no way that I'm lugging my new cupola into position in its lofty perch over the garage, in spite of extending the visit by one if not two days (due to bad weather.)

We just had another round of thunderstorms before midnight, and looking at the Mobile, AL weather radar there is more heading this way from where that came from. I'd say we're pushing six inches of rain in the past week, and it isn't supposed to end until late tomorrow when the weather plunges into the high twenties overnight for a few days.

That Global Warming...she be a real BITCH.

A Different Kind of Christmas Shopping

Power Tools From Sears...


Here's a quick peek at the unpainted results of my handiwork:






And here's some of the tools I used to put everything together:



Time to add some tarpaper and shingles, and put on a coat of paint.

Travel Rain Delay

The Tower Put Us On A Ground Hold...


I awoke this morning expecting to finish up some maintenance details around the property, take a few pictures of my finished but unpainted and uninstalled cupola, then hit the road back toward our little island by 9 AM eastern.

Wrong...

Upon reviewing the satellite picture and radars at Ft. Rucker, AL and Jacksonville, FL it was clear that unless we wanted to travel in a driving rain all day that alternate plans were in order.

Things only look slightly better in 24 hours, but I made an executive decision to wait until tomorrow to make the trip.

I was tempted to act like the airlines by loading our luggage in the car, then driving out to the end of the driveway and sitting for 45 minutes to an hour before returning to the terminal building departure gate my mom's house to wait out the weather--but I thought better of the idea in the end.

I make weird jokes about the prospect, but I admit that this Christmas holiday certainly has been a difficult one for people that had to fly to get to their destinations.

I have a rule about Christmas and Thanksgiving travel--it goes like this.

STAY HOME UNLESS YOU CAN LEAVE THE WEEK BEFORE AND COME BACK THE WEEK AFTER.

Pretty simple, huh?

Another trick that is guaranteed to piss off your wife and mother is to travel ON CHRISTMAS OR THANKSGIVING DAY. You can OWN the airport and rental car counter on Christmas day.

Early on the the Sunday morning (6:00 AM) after Thanksgiving is also a good time to go to the airport. I've flown to an ASME conference in Orlando on the Sunday morning after Thanksgiving three or four times back in the 1990's and the airport was a Tomb. The car companies were giving away rental cars and you could walk into Disney and Universal without standing in line because all of the kids were back in school.

Another holiday travel trick I used to use involved going to the Florida Keys on Labor Day Monday. There would be a traffic jam of cars moving north from Key Largo to Homestead, and my Suburban would be the lone vehicle heading south on the overseas highway. OK...one of three vehicles southbound...but you get my drift.

The hotels were half price and the restaurants were glad to have your business and the weather was exactly the same as the week before Labor Day without the bulging crowds of college students and Hemingway wannabe's.

I guess that is one of the better advantages of being unemployed self-employed is that you don't have to live on everyone else's holiday and vacation schedules.

So now I have to go install a couple of ballasts in the kitchen lights and then cook some breakfast. Y'all be safe if you're traveling today--make an executive decision like I did if you have to.

Cupola In The Works

Sawdust Flying

Goin' To Alabama

With My Banjo Computer On My Knee


After seven more hours in a car today, I'll do some writing and some construction and until then...

Talk to y'all later

The History Of Christmas

Click Here And Take A Look


http://www.opinionjournal.com/extra/?id=110011034

Via my blog friends and idols over at Powerline.

Too Tired To Eat

I Need Another Refrigerator


Dang I'm Tired.

I'm starting to think that anyone who believes that working in the construction industry is harder than working in a restaurant kitchen should be taken out and flogged--or at least dressed in cooking attire and dumped into the Souse Chef position in a 50 seat restaurant for a couple of evenings.

Do that and you'll have a different attitude toward your restaurant experience the next time you go out to dinner.

Any way...this cooking for large crowds fantasy of mine is starting to get the best of me in spite of my best efforts. It's not the actual menu design and cooking that's the problem, it's the logistics of getting all of the food done on time, having it hot on the buffet line, and accomplishing same in a small residential kitchen.

In the past I've prepared an entire Cinco de Mayo feast for over thirty participants a couple of years ago and done several meals for six or eight, but I think that yesterday's "Christmas Feast for Sixteen" finally got my goat when it comes to single oven cooking.

By 3 PM yesterday I must have looked something like a whirling dervish, spinning around at orbital rotational velocity having already delivered my horseradish crusted beef tenderloin and two pans of uncooked cornbread dressing to our friend's home, along with chafing dishes and ancillary supplies that were in my way on the counter tops of my little kitchen.

Then reality set in as the oven, not my efforts and ability, proceeded to create a logjam in the food delivery process. Pat's scalloped potatoes took a little longer than planned, the glazed ham needed 75 minutes of heat at one temperature, and I still had shitaki mushroom gravy and the Oysters Rockefeller appetizer to put together.

Picture me stirring gravy with one hand and opening fresh oysters with the other.

It can't be done..but I had to wait until the last minute to open and prep the oysters because there wasn't room in our fridge for two pans containing two dozen oysters with spinach toppings. When it was all said and done, I figured out that I should have prepped the Oysters earlier in the day and delivered them along with the balance of the earlier shipment to the scene of the crime dinner venue.

When the dust finally settled about seven thirty PM, seven pounds of ham, five pounds of beef tenderloin, and gobs of other stuff that I can't recall right now were consumed and my Mom and Pat dragged me back home and laid me on the sofa to recuperate.

Unfortunately I didn't eat half of the dishes I cooked, and I didn't eat half of what did make it onto my plate because...

I'm Tired.

Why do I do this to myself?

Here's Wishing You

A Very...



(yes...I drew that picture myself a few years ago...)

Flying Away For Christmas

Vapor Trails anyone?


I was running through the day's photos this evening after opening Christmas gifts, and I came across this photo of the evidence of the commercial air traffic over our little island about noon today.

Here...take a look:

The image was shot looking south across St. Andrews Simons (oops) Sound toward Jekyl Island.

We're under the north-south flyway and it's not unusual to see "contrails," but today the atmosphere was such that it seemed to hold the vapor trails in suspended anamation.

I count over two dozen there myself.

Pretty cool...Huh?

Christmas Eve In Paradise

Hope Yours Is Lovely...

Early Grocery Shopping

Harris Teeter Beckons...


I'm happy to report that we made it home yesterday by late afternoon with little harassment and fuss as Sunday turned out to be a light travel day.

A combination of good luck and good planning I guess.

After an early dinner at our usual table with the friendly staff at Blackwater Grill, we retired back home to recover from the trip while I thrashed around reviewing Tuesday's menu, the recipe details, and made up my final shopping list.

I plan on being at the grocery store when it opens this morning in order to avoid another situation that might cause me to have some kind of screaming epileptic fit or collapse into a deep unrecoverable catatonic state in the parking lot after encountering hoards of wild eyed last minute shoppers.

I think going early is best for everyone's safety--mine and the general public.

Guys...you better head over to the mall to start your shopping this morning. I know that you have all day, but why not try to get done early and head over to the local tavern before they close Christmas eve?

A Rant From The Road

The ASSociated Press Strikes Again...


I was looking through Drudge this morning to see what was going on in the world when I came across this headline: "Rocket launched into space; carries satellite to guide weapons."

Holly Cow, the Russians or the Chinese are sending space weapons up into orbit I thought.

Nope...

After reading for five seconds I learned that it was the United States, not our enemies that's responsible; the so called "satellite to guide weapons" is in fact in space right now, and it was launched by a rocket, not a slingshot or a "super soaker."

Beyond those facts the implication of the Headline and most of the ASSociated press article is pretty much hyperbole and the usual innuendo laced BS.

CAPE CANAVERAL - A rocket carrying a GPS satellite to better guide military weapons was launched into space Thursday.The Delta 2 rocket lifted off from Cape Canaveral at 3:04 p.m. with the modernized NAVSTAR Global Positioning System Block 2R military navigation satellite aboard for the U.S. Air Force.

The satellite is part of a constellation of 24 and one of eight that were modernized to more precisely guide weapons and a variety of civilian applications.

See, this is another perfect example of what I'm always bitching about regarding the headlines and story text of the ASSociated Press and much of the balance of the Lamestream media.

Ordinarily this would be a non-story, but by tossing on a headline they probably got a couple of inches of column space in every little newspaper in the US.

What these rocket scientist media experts fail to tell you is that your "Tom Tom" or your Garman or Magellan GPS that you use to navigate your drive to the mall today or over to Grandma's house on Christmas has been using what were originally MILITARY SATELLITES that have been in orbit for decades and are wearing out and being replaced every year.

In reality, this event was just the latest launch of a replacement satellite, not some new ominous plan to militarize space beyond the level that's been common for the past thirty years. The Europeans and the Russians are also in the process launching their own GPS type systems because our system doesn't currently cover the entire surface of the earth.

What total unmitigated, useless, moronic CRAPPOLA. Don't you agree?

Now get back to wrapping packages and mixing egg nog...and all of you men head on over to the mall and get started with your shopping for your wife or girlfriend.

Let me worry interpreting the meaning of satellite launches...

You certainly can't count on the ASSociated press to tell you anything of value.

Dammit

Cupola Wins Round One

Going Home To Regroup For Christmas


Well, the hard pressure treated lumber bested my best intentions and the shop's ability to carve decent uniform louvers of the size and thickness I had designed, so I had to resort to plan "B" on Saturday.

By four o'clock I had four 35" wide x 22" high panels full of wooden louvers and plywood panels for the cupola roof cut out, but I was short one base frame assembly and the roof structure was a figment of my imagination as I had run out of lumber and energy.

I resorted to tidying up the shop, doing some more design on AutoCAD, then showering and heading out to a Bar-B-Que dinner before coming home to crash for the evening in anticipation of hitting the road back to our little Island this morning.

We'll be on the road in the rain and fog that the Weather Channel decided to predict yesterday, after telling us on Thursday that it would be sunny and clear. I swear that all of the Global Warming loonies aught to consider the accuracy of short term weather forecasts (less than one week out) before they run around screaming about forecast weather trends which run over decades if not centuries.

Time to finish packing and load the car, then we brave the "holiday weekend" morons on the road for another seven hours.

Wish us luck...if you will.

Living In The Cabinet Shop

Cupola Construction...


Having survived the trip across south Georgia and Alabama, today finds me transitioning my construction tallents into my Dad's cabinet shop with the intent of building a replacement Cupola for the roof of the main house.

The old cupola, also home made, is over fifteen years old and is suffering the effects of the sub-tropical weather and the South Alabama sun.

A replacement of equivalent style and quality cost over $600, while the material cost is something under $75 so the decision was obvious, and the results serve as part of my Christmas gift to my mother.

Of course building one is twice as much fun as ordering one and waiting on the truck to arrive.

Time to go make some sawdust...

Beating The Holiday Traffic

On The Road Again...


I don't think that we could hang one more light or place one more ribbon on the tree, house, or furniture, so we're off to lower Alabama by car this morning--happy that the rain blew through last night and most everyone else won't be traveling until Saturday or Monday (hopefully.)

After a little maintenance work and some visiting, we're heading back this way Sunday with Mom in tow for Christmas and a four day tour of the Golden Isles.

I've got a HUGE meal to cook, beginning preparations on Monday and serving fourteen hungry mouths late Tuesday afternoon. I haven't had time to panic yet...because I have a Cupola to build for my Mom's house in the mean time and fourteen hours of sitting in a car to contemplate my situation.

Y'all have a good weekend...if you will.

Time Magazine Still Full Of Crap

Take Your Copy To The Bathroom And Leave It There...


I read yesterday that Time Magazine named Vladimir Putin their 2007 "Man of the Year." I can't find a decent sized copy of the cover photo to post here, but you can read the story here on the Times website.

Imagine that?

After all, Time has a long, long history of political insurrection and irresponsibility--they even named Hitler and Stalin back to back "Men of the Year" in the years leading up to the US entry into World War II.






Liberal Media Assholes...can't live with them...apparently no way to live without them.

Is it just Me?

Your Daily Reading

Thought For The Day...


You need to read Victor Davis Hanson's essay "In War: Resolution:"

What can be done about our impatience, historical amnesia, and utopian demands for perfection? American statesmen need to provide constant explanations to a public not well versed in history—not mere assertions—of what misfortunes to expect when they take the nation to war. The more a president evokes history’s tragic lessons, the better, reminding the public that our forefathers usually endured and overcame far worse. Americans should be told at the start of every conflict that the generals who begin the fighting may not finish it; that what is reported in the first 24 hours may not be true after a week’s retrospection, and that the alternative to the bad choice is rarely the good one, but usually only the far worse. They should be apprised that our morale is as important as our material advantages [emphasis mine-VRR]—and that our will power is predicated on inevitable mistakes being learned from and rectified far more competently and quickly than the enemy will learn from his.

Only that way can we reestablish our national wartime objective as victory, a goal that brings with it the acceptance of tragic errors as well as appreciation of heroic and brilliant conduct. The Iraq war and the larger struggle against the anti-American jihadists can still be won—and won with a resulting positive assessment of our overall efforts by future historians who will be far less harsh on us than we are now on ourselves. Yet if as a nation we instead believe that we cannot abide error, or that we cannot win due to necessary military, moral, humanitarian, financial, or geopolitical constraints, then we should not ask our young soldiers to continue to try. As in Vietnam where we wallowed in rather than learned from our shortcomings, we should simply accept defeat and with it the ensuing humiliating consequences. But it would be far preferable for Americans undertaking a war to remember these words from Churchill, in his 1930 memoir: “Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter.”

From my Friends and Idols over at Powerline.

The Guest List Grows

...Along With The Menu


I'm sitting here this morning working on plans for my big Christmas Feast. The guest list just went from eleven to fourteen yesterday afternoon.

Here's a copy of the current Menu Cards I'm making which I'll be printing out later this morning for the girl's approval:





Of course nothing is final at this point because I have to slide this past four grown women that are happy to have me slaving away in the kitchen but at the same time want to add side dishes and get their own names and influence on my efforts.

I'm trying to maintain control of the non-salad Appetizers, the ham, tenderloin, stuffed tilapia, and the cornbread dressing because I've mastered those dishes and cooked most of them many times previously.

The Bread Pudding is also on my to-do list . I've never made it before, but I'm doing a small test batch later this week and I'm confident that I can make it work because I have a good recipe.

I think that I'm tired already.

(And its back to the construction site this morning...Yawn)

'Twas The Week Before Christmas...

Feeling Rushed Through The "Holiday" Season?


A million years ago, back in the days when I was a kid and I had virtually nothing else to do with my money but buy things like "Mad Magazine" comic books, I remember coming across a passage in one of the aforementioned editions of "Mad" that went something like this:


Twas the month before Christmas, and all through the store

each Department was dripping, with Yuletide decor.

The Muzak was blaring an out of tune Carol,

and Fake Snow was falling in Ladies Apparel.


It's amazing how true that passage still rings today.

We went out looking for a Christmas Tree yesterday afternoon, and panic was starting to set in after finding a total of four trees--three at the Ace Garden Center and one at a local nursery--at our first two stops. All Ace had was two giant ten footers and one little four foot "Charley Brown" tree.

We ended up driving back by the local farmers market where we learned that our usual source--the Rotary Club--had lost their butts with leftover trees last year and had cut their inventory in half this year. All they had left were the culls and rejects from their limited Virginia Pine inventory.

Fortunately, one of the other Farmers market vendors saved the day by providing us with a nice little 7' tall Leyland Cypress.

Outside of Christmas preparations, it's "T-Minus Two Days and Counting" here in the Golden Isles on the construction project as I have to finish this week's work by Wednesday afternoon in anticipation of driving over to southern Lower Alabama for three or four days to do some work on the farm and to pick up Mom for the return trip back over here to spend Christmas week.

We have tons of sightseeing and fine dining planned for her next week, and then of course I have an extensive Christmas Day meal to cook for ten or eleven hungry mouths. The guest count and the menu has grown steadily over the past few weeks--why I do this to myself I'll never know.

Thank GOD we got all of the Christmas cards and packages sent on their way by the middle of last week so that we don't have to go anywhere near the Post Office or a UPS/FedEX location between now and January 1st...else I just might have to try to hurt myself with a spoon or butter knife.

As things stand right now, if I can make it to Saturday the only risk of death by kitchen utensil will be eating too much food in the ensuing celebrations.

Imagine that?

I Hurt My Nose PickingTouchpad Finger

Inconvenience Squared...


I'm back home from the job site a little earlier than expected today because I finally managed to harm myself--not badly--but it made me mad and I just cleaned up, loaded up the truck, and came home in a huff.

The building originally had natural gas radiant heaters in every room and gas stoves/water heaters and I've slowly been cutting off or removing the old pipes from the walls.

Today's injury involved a little three inch tall stub pipe sticking out of what was one of the kitchen floors that served the long ago relocated water heater. I've been tripping over it since last week when we started moving walls around, and today after tripping on it a half dozen times I finally managed to pinch my right index finger between it and the pneumatic framing nailer frame when I tried to lay the nailer down.

Screaming, profanity, and blood flow ensued as it really hurt in the 50 degree temperatures we were working in with the door open all morning.

I took a sledge hammer and beat the pipe into submission after installing a bandaid--now blood soaked--on the end of my finger.

Typing also sucks with the bandaid sticking off the end of the fingertip...

I've got to go now and do some first aide before making a trip to make a Christmas tree purchase.

Ghost Pictures

He's Resting In The Theater Attic Tonight...

Strike The Set

Yet Another Successful Dickens' Production


Last night we had dinner with five friends over at Christies in Brunswick and attended the latest show at the Ritz Theater.

All and all a successful evening, I think.

This wasn't my favorite version of the script for "A Christmas Carol", the but Mayor Thompson did his usual good job as Scrooge and the kids danced and mumbled their way through the dialogue in good order with no awkward pauses or obvious missed lines.

The Ghost of Christmas Future Puppet came out pretty well, and I already have some ideas for using parts of it again in a future season in slightly modified form.

I guess now it's time to start my Pizza crust rising for the evening meal while we wander over to take Mr. Ghost Puppet apart after this afternoon's matinee show and break the simple set back down into individual panels and pieces.

It's always sad for me to tear down the world you build for one of these shows, even if it's imaginary and the residents that live and die there are just actors. Fortunately we're spending a half hour making posed still photos of some of the scenes before it all evaporates into every ones' memories.

Photo postings to follow later...