Holiday Travel woes...
My head is spinning around right now because I have so much to do by 6:00 AM. I’m trying to get a little quality internet time and some blogging in before I have to finish my chores left to be done so I can drive over to Alabama later this morning.
Last evening started out well enough—dinner consisting of a wonderful, giant Muffaletta sandwich that I had put together earlier in the afternoon so that the olive oil could have time to soak into the French bread. Provolone Cheese, Baby Swiss Cheese, Salami, Spicy Ham… one sandwich is more than a meal for two because you use an entire loaf of fat French bread cut in half, then smashed flat around the contents. I used a pre-prepared olive dressing mix that was included in a gift basket we received from some friends up north. (I didn’t know that people in New England ate cuisine from New Orleans, Miss Strader.)
Unfortunately, there must have been a sleeping pill buried somewhere in that olive dressing because I was asleep by 8:30 PM and I didn’t get back up until almost 3 AM.
What, a normal sleep pattern for ME? Six hours—in a row—it’s some kind of recent record.
Any way, as a result of sleeping so long I still have things to do. I’m getting out of making my Chewy double chocolate, chocolate-chip oatmeal cookies because I forgot to pull a pound of butter out of the freezer last night and I only have one stick in the fridge (the recipe calls for 2-1/4 sticks.) Oh well, we’ll make do without that contribution to the menu and I’ll not gain those two pounds this weekend.
I’m trying to learn how to make my own stuffed olives—you know, colossal “Queen” black olives filled with smoked red pepper, jalapeno peppers, and/or cream cheese. I did a test run on Wednesday and after sterilizing my bottles, boiling my brine mixture, and getting my cream cheese and peppers squished into the olives, I then made the mistake of pouring the brine into the first olive filled jar while it was still hot.
Wrong.
The jar immediately began to cloud up as the hot brine mixture dissolved the cream cheese. It looked like a chicken had crapped in my olives. Yuck!
It looked hideous.
It looked VERY unappetizing in appearance, but they tasted OK so we ate them ignoring the cloudy liquid surroundings.
Fortunately I had not damaged all half dozen jars worth. I tossed the olives and stuffing back into the fridge and let my jars and brine mixture cool off. Then I got distracted and didn’t finish them yesterday, so this morning I have to finish stuffing my olives else risk wasting five cans of perfectly good olives the size of walnuts.
Can’t let that happen.
After that I have to finish packing and drag everything out to the carport. I swear I’m worse than any woman when it comes to traveling. I can’t go anywhere without two suitcases, a hanging bag, and typically a box full of kitchen items (if I’m traveling by car) to support my cooking once I arrive at my destination. That’s just for a weekend trip to the beach—I need a couple of steamer trunks and a hand truck if I’m going for a week or more or the weather is cold.
I’ll be returning to the dark ages as far as internet access this weekend because my mom can’t get cable or DSL service out in rural Alabama. It’s slow “Alaweb” dial-up or satellite internet that costs about the same as a monthly lease on a new Cadillac. She elected to use Alaweb.
I will probably go into some sort of internet and information withdrawal and have keyboard DT’s or something. I’m taking a computer with me anyway and she’s got a notebook PC to use, so I’ll try to lurk around the internet late at night when everyone else is asleep and post a little here on the blog if I don't lose my mind over the slow connection speed.
Right now I have to look forward to seven hours in a car with no internet connection, surrounded by hoards of wild eyed drivers slapping at their kids and dogs as they trundle off over the river and through the woods.
Oh well, I guess it will be easier than dealing with the airport…
Friday, December 23, 2005
Thursday, December 22, 2005
I Just Couldn't Resist This One
More Political Humor In Poor Taste...
I found this over at my fellow blogger James Hooker's site. Go check him out...
I found this over at my fellow blogger James Hooker's site. Go check him out...
He borrowed stole it from someone else.
(Just in case you don't know, it's supposed to be Nancy Pelosi--in her dreams, I might add...)
(And just in case you don't know, James Hooker is a Grammy Award winning musician and songwriter that played keyboard with The Amazing Rhythm Aces on the song "Third Rate Romance," among other things)
(And just in case you didn't know, Mr. Hooker reads my blog occasionally--I'm honored)
Random Ramblings, Mumblings, and Lucent Cogitations
Talking To Myself...
In approaching the New Year and looking back over my 18 months of blogging, I’m pausing to take a minute or two to attempt to identify what I’ve accomplished (if anything) and what I would do different if I had the chance.
In the accomplishments category, I have to say that I have exceeded my own expectations—that standard, of course, being that I had no criteria at all when I started. I just jumped in with both feet to see what would happen. Now I feel guilty if I don't write every day--that statement coming from a guy that absolutelyHATED despised LOATHED English class in High School and College.
I have successfully produced two websites that I can use to develop my analytical and creative writing skills, hone my internet research abilities, and which at the same time provide me with venues where I can publish my writing and photographic work for public consumption.
In retrospect, I find that my writing falls into three or four different categories.
The first category is easy. My cooking blog-- The Redneck Gourmet.
It’s well defined, and self sufficient in that I get the majority of my hits from people doing searches for various recipes. I think that I will in the future continue along the same path and that I shouldn’t tinker with my limited success enjoyed to date. I’m trying to fine tune the content for publication on paper next year possibly.
This blog, Coastal Companion, also known as “What I’d Liked To Have Said”, has a bit of a schizophrenic personality. I find myself vacillating between periods of using it as a personal diary filled with photos and satirical rants, and then there are my serious periods when I tend to produce long winded, four page political diatribes full of statistics and links to the Congressional Budget Office Website or Junk Science.
I’m having a serious conversation with myself (talk about schizophrenic…) about splitting the two halves of my brain, and by default Coastal Companion, into two separate blogs. I’m still thinking about the name for the sister blog—stay tuned to this channel for future developments…
Then there is my secret-to-date and much neglected local interest blog—The Brunswick Blues.
While the name is a parody of our local newspaper, “The Brunswick News,” my intention was to seriously address local political issues. I’m embarrassed that my last posting was in May and consisted of a letter I wrote to the editor of the News, and nothing original has been published since
That’s about to change.
I have great aspirations for Brunswick Blues in 2006. I intend to start covering the local city and county politics in a detailed manner. My national and international readers and casual visitors to this blog could probably care less, but I believe that there is a local blog market that is entirely untapped and I want to be the one of the first ones to fill it.
I have been in correspondence with my two county commissioners about a potentially explosive issue that has yet to be publicly covered, and I’m now on a first name basis with the new mayor elect, Bryan Thompson, so I have the connections in place and I want to be the Drudge Report of the Golden Isles.
I guess what I'm saying here is that I think that 2006 is going to be a record year for bloggers, and I don't want to just ride the existing wave--I want to make the wave even higher. I want to write high quality, ACCURATE, stories based on well researched information and more importantly--I want to tell the truth. That's something that you are generally hard pressed to find in much of what you read.
I also want to scream and rant and rave and lay on the ground and kick my feet (in writing, of course.) If I'm editoralizing, I'll be the first to tell you.
And by the way, why don't YOU start your own blog? It's free, and all you have to do is click here to get started.
In approaching the New Year and looking back over my 18 months of blogging, I’m pausing to take a minute or two to attempt to identify what I’ve accomplished (if anything) and what I would do different if I had the chance.
In the accomplishments category, I have to say that I have exceeded my own expectations—that standard, of course, being that I had no criteria at all when I started. I just jumped in with both feet to see what would happen. Now I feel guilty if I don't write every day--that statement coming from a guy that absolutely
I have successfully produced two websites that I can use to develop my analytical and creative writing skills, hone my internet research abilities, and which at the same time provide me with venues where I can publish my writing and photographic work for public consumption.
In retrospect, I find that my writing falls into three or four different categories.
The first category is easy. My cooking blog-- The Redneck Gourmet.
It’s well defined, and self sufficient in that I get the majority of my hits from people doing searches for various recipes. I think that I will in the future continue along the same path and that I shouldn’t tinker with my limited success enjoyed to date. I’m trying to fine tune the content for publication on paper next year possibly.
This blog, Coastal Companion, also known as “What I’d Liked To Have Said”, has a bit of a schizophrenic personality. I find myself vacillating between periods of using it as a personal diary filled with photos and satirical rants, and then there are my serious periods when I tend to produce long winded, four page political diatribes full of statistics and links to the Congressional Budget Office Website or Junk Science.
I’m having a serious conversation with myself (talk about schizophrenic…) about splitting the two halves of my brain, and by default Coastal Companion, into two separate blogs. I’m still thinking about the name for the sister blog—stay tuned to this channel for future developments…
Then there is my secret-to-date and much neglected local interest blog—The Brunswick Blues.
While the name is a parody of our local newspaper, “The Brunswick News,” my intention was to seriously address local political issues. I’m embarrassed that my last posting was in May and consisted of a letter I wrote to the editor of the News, and nothing original has been published since
That’s about to change.
I have great aspirations for Brunswick Blues in 2006. I intend to start covering the local city and county politics in a detailed manner. My national and international readers and casual visitors to this blog could probably care less, but I believe that there is a local blog market that is entirely untapped and I want to be the one of the first ones to fill it.
I have been in correspondence with my two county commissioners about a potentially explosive issue that has yet to be publicly covered, and I’m now on a first name basis with the new mayor elect, Bryan Thompson, so I have the connections in place and I want to be the Drudge Report of the Golden Isles.
I guess what I'm saying here is that I think that 2006 is going to be a record year for bloggers, and I don't want to just ride the existing wave--I want to make the wave even higher. I want to write high quality, ACCURATE, stories based on well researched information and more importantly--I want to tell the truth. That's something that you are generally hard pressed to find in much of what you read.
I also want to scream and rant and rave and lay on the ground and kick my feet (in writing, of course.) If I'm editoralizing, I'll be the first to tell you.
And by the way, why don't YOU start your own blog? It's free, and all you have to do is click here to get started.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
NY Times Keeps On Keeping On
Cutting Through The Partisan Crap
Have you heard the hysteria going on claiming that President Bush has been illegally authorizing “officials” sneak in and listen to you doing your heavy breathing prattle on the telephone with your "significant other”
I, personally, wonder how much the government “officials” really like having to listen to conversations between people doing things like talking to their proctologists about colon polyps and hemorrhoids. And I’m sure that they certainly don’t enjoy recording and transcribing those mindless cell phone conversations that I hear one-half of while standing in the grocery store check out line behind some clueless moron.
So what is really the big deal here, you might wonder?
Well, let me distill this thing down for those of you that don’t have the time to do anything but listen to TV sound bites and read the headlines in the newspapers.
If I had to write an Executive Summary, it would contain just two words:
TOTAL BULLSHIT.
Having said that, let me supply you with some independent details so that you can form your own opinion.
About a year ago the NY Times found out about President Bush’s authorization of the use of electronic “eavesdropping” to intercept telephone communications and E-mails between US citizens and persons overseas suspected to have ties to al Qaeda and other terrorism groups. Technically this falls under the category of collecting “foreign intelligence, and it is only allowed on international communications or communications between the US and foreign locations.
This existence of this top secret program was illegally “leaked” by someone in the government or the CIA to the Times, but after meeting with the President and discussing the issue, the Times management and editors chose to not publish this non-story in the interest of national defense.
What really bothers me is that the “leaking” of this type of information is a serious federal crime, but typically, in their never ending quest for truth and justice, the NY Times isn’t interested in that part of the story—trashing Bush is their intentions and they are protecting their sources to the bitter end as a result. (Can you say “Valerie Plame”?)
The big deal here apparently is that the program, called the NSA Intercept program, did not require that the investigators and security agents wait three days to a week (or longer) to get a federal judge to issue a search warrant. When they found out that someone was suspected to be up to something that could affect national security, the Attorney General could implement the measures necessary to listen in on their communications and find out what was going on.
The idea seems reasonable enough to me, as long as the law allows it.
The really interesting thing is that this EXACT SAME THING has been done in at least three prior Presidential Administrations. Let me explain this assertion.
The first thing that you should know is that the applicable law, The Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act of 1978, was passed by the US Congress under the auspices of Democratic President Jimmy Carter. The NY Times should be quite happy with that little detail.
On May 23, 1979 President Carter signed Executive Order 12939 allowing EXACTLY the same kind of surveillance that President Bush is criticized for today.
Among other things, the order said:
1-101. Pursuant to Section 102(a)(1) of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act of 1978 (50 U.S.C. 1802(a)), the Attorney General is authorized to approve electronic surveillance to acquire foreign intelligence information without a court order, but only if the Attorney General makes the certifications required by that Section.
I don’t see any mention of requiring a judge to do electronic surveillance. Click on the link and go read it for yourself if you want to check me. Apparently Carter only chased foreigners with his order, but he could have used his order for at least 72 hours against Americans if he wanted to.
Next, Republican President Ronald Reagan produced Executive Order 12333 allowing Judgeless surveillance on December 4, 1981. His order stated:
2.5 ATTORNEY GENERAL APPROVAL
The Attorney General hereby is delegated the power to approve the use for intelligence purposes, within the United States or against a United States person abroad, of any technique for which a warrant would be required if undertaken for law enforcement purposes, provided that such techniques shall not be undertaken unless the Attorney General has determined in each case that there is probable cause to believe that the technique is directed against a foreign power or an agent of a foreign power. Electronic surveillance, as defined in the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act of 1978 (50 U.S.C. 1801 et seq.), shall be conducted in accordance with that Act, as well as this Order.
See, once again Regan said that the Attorney General can order electronic surveillance without a judge—the same thing Bush says today. Click on the link and see for yourself. The key wording here is the difference between gathering “data to prosecute a crime” and gathering “intelligence for national security.”
And finally, citing the same federal law, media darling Bill Clinton issued Executive Order 12949 dated February 9, 1995 stating this:
By the authority vested in me as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, including sections 302 and 303 of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act of 1978 ("Act") (50 U.S.C. 1801,et seq.), as amended by Public Law 103- 359, and in order to provide for the authorization of physical searches for foreign intelligence purposes as set forth in the Act, it is hereby ordered as follows:
Section 1. Pursuant to section 302(a)(1) of the Act, the Attorney General is authorized to approve physical searches, without a court order, to acquire foreign intelligence information for periods of up to one year, if the Attorney General makes the certifications
required by that section.
At the time that Clinton issued his rather nonspecific order (for instance, what exactly does a “physical search” entail) there was a bit of public debate as outlined at that time in The Washington Times:
“Administration Backing No-Warrant Spy Searches
July 15, 1994
"The Clinton administration, in a little-noticed facet of the debate on intelligence reforms, is seeking congressional authorization for U.S. spies to continue conducting clandestine searches at foreign embassies in Washington and other cities without a federal court order. The administration's quiet lobbying effort is aimed at modifying draft legislation that would require U.S. counterintelligence officials to get a court order before secretly snooping inside the homes or workplaces of suspected foreign agents or foreign powers."
Click on the links, darn it, and check me out---I’m not making this stuff up.
Further, I would like to point out that I think that the “draft legislation” was a good example of the Congress previously having it’s chance to make this type of activity specifically subject to a judge’s approval, but the Congress didn’t act then and therefore the activity is still legal now.
So what are Harry Reid and the balance of the Democrats and media bitching about today? There is NOTHING to this story.
Having shown you how these prescedents, you have to wonder why last Friday the NY Times published the story in an article written by James Risen and Eric Lichtblau.
Months after the Sept. 11 attacks, President Bush secretly authorized the National Security Agency to eavesdrop on Americans and others inside the United States to search for evidence of terrorist activity without the court-approved warrants ordinarily required for domestic spying, according to government officials.
Under a presidential order signed in 2002, the intelligence agency has monitored the international telephone calls and international e-mail messages of hundreds, perhaps thousands, of people inside the United States without warrants over the past three years in an effort to track possible "dirty numbers" linked to Al Qaeda, the officials said. The agency, they said, still seeks warrants to monitor entirely domestic communications”
Oh My (shudder)…the President SECRETLY authorized eavesdropping on AMERICANS…how about eavesdropping on illegal immigrants if we could understand what the heck they were saying?
Can SOMEONE honestly tell me what this uproar is about? Am I missing something?
Regardless, the proverbial feces has been hitting the fan ever since, and the most damning thing is that Times hasn’t bothered to publish the facts I just told you—that the Carter, Reagan and Clinton Administrations allowed EXACTLY THE SAME METHODS TO BE USED TO GATHER FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE.
In today’s edition the Times follows up with another article by the same two gentlemen.
In it you will still find no mention of similar prior programs, all they can do is talk about some accidental capture of purely domestic calls.
Boo hoo hoooooooo…Oh The Humanity.
As I said before this whole story—lock, stock, and barrel—is complete and utter BULLSHIT. If Bush had really broken the law the times would have wet their pants rushing the story to press no matter WHAT the white house asked them to do. Now they claim that they delayed it’s publication in “the interest of nation security.”
I have a question for the Times editors: “If they didn’t publish the story because it would hurt our security when they first learned of the NSA Intercept Program in 2004, why does publishing it this week not also risk hurting the USA’s security today?”
I’ll tell you the answer myself. The story has absolutely no underlying substance, the NY Times knows it, but they had to publish it this week because Bush’s popularity was soaring after the Iraqi election and another very significant thing was happening soon that they didn’t bother to tell you in any of their writing to date.
One of the story’s writers, NY Times Journalist James Risen, is publishing his new book The State of War in January and in this book he addresses this exact issue—the Bush Administration’s and the CIA’s data gathering methods used for foreign intelligence. Those familiar with the book say that, as would be expected from a NY Times writer, it provides a less than friendly point of view of President Bush.
I expect the hysteria to continue for months and CBS’s 60 Minutes to pick it up and bring James Risen on their show to televise his furrowed browed, long faced comments on the insidious, unpresidented attack on our personal privacy that is (not) happening under the Bush Administration.
Now where's my really big hammer...
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Ten Thousand "Hits"
It's probably happening as you read this...
I'm expecting my 10,000th reader to stop by sometime this morning.
Gee whiz, who knew?
YOU might be number 10,000.
Sorry, but there isn't a prize available other than allowing you to partake of my sharp wit and insightful commentary on the state of humanity...where's my mirror...
When I started this blog fifteen months ago I really didn't expect to ever develop much traffic, and by the standards of many of my better known fellow bloggers, my thirty of forty daily "hits" is peanuts. I'll just keep writing and hopefully the readers will keep coming.
I do appreciate everyone that stops by, even if they don't agree with what I have to say, and in the words "The Beverly Hillbillies" theme song:
Y'all come back now...ya hear?
I'm expecting my 10,000th reader to stop by sometime this morning.
Gee whiz, who knew?
YOU might be number 10,000.
Sorry, but there isn't a prize available other than allowing you to partake of my sharp wit and insightful commentary on the state of humanity...where's my mirror...
When I started this blog fifteen months ago I really didn't expect to ever develop much traffic, and by the standards of many of my better known fellow bloggers, my thirty of forty daily "hits" is peanuts. I'll just keep writing and hopefully the readers will keep coming.
I do appreciate everyone that stops by, even if they don't agree with what I have to say, and in the words "The Beverly Hillbillies" theme song:
Y'all come back now...ya hear?
There’s No Question…
And Possibly No Answer
There is an old adage I love that goes something like this:
It’s better to remain silent and let people assume that you might be stupid…
than to open your mouth, thereby removing all doubt.
This latest airline crash down in Miami, or rather, I should say, the news coverage thereof, could benefit from adherence to this train of thought (excuse the unintentional pun.)
I walked back into my house about 4:15 this afternoon to find FOX News showing aerial footage of the accident scene and interviews with eye witnesses and authorities in the area.
Within minutes I was cringing and wincing at the horror as I viewed the results of the accident, and I’m not talking about the loss of twenty lives including three infants when I say this.
What I’m referencing as “horrible” was the news coverage and associated live commentary of the incident that was even more disastrous than the details of the deaths.
Like the recent Gulfstream landing gear incident out in Oregon and the even more recent 737 runway incident at Chicago’s Midway airport, the reporting commentary was inane and down right irresponsible.
I think that there aught to be a law that when anything technical happens that is considered newsworthy, bad or good—things like air accidents and toaster oven explosions—that the media hierarchy should be required to send three quarters of their employees home for the day and use a generous portion of duct tape to cover the mouths of the other twenty five percent of their staff, being careful to leave their EARS uncovered so they can LISTEN before they start “REPORTING” on whatever news story they're doing their "reporting" about.
I, for one, want to hear NEWS, not the BS du jour.
Why supply a putrid stream of rumors, innuendo, and speculation, live and in color, for hours as the story develops and call it reporting? OK, show me the video of the scene, broadcast the news conference with “the authorities”, but spare me the blithering, inarticulate verbal essays from wetsuit clad “eyewitnesses”:
“Dude…It was flying real low, and then it blew up with a loud ‘boom’, then it was covered up with flame and it did three barrel rolls and a loop the loop and pieces started falling off before it almost landed on top of my surfboard.”
The persons responsible for such technically articulate commentary usually wouldn’t know an aileron from a rudder trim tab or an engine nacelle from a nosecone if one landed on the sofa beside them during the 11 o’clock news.
Most of the time they don't know what they were seeing when they saw it, and listening to some layman try to tell me about things like this never ceases to cause my eyes to glaze over and my hair to fall out of my ever balding head.
I don’t recall the “reporters” names, and during the press conferences they weren’t identified, but the factual evolution of the story in my opinion ran somewhere between comical and absurd.
First the airplane was postulated to have been returning to the US from some destination in the Bahamas so the fuel tanks should have been near empty and the reported explosion could “possibly” have been the result of a “bomb.”
Could it have been terrorism?
Well…Possibly, but not probably, even though the customs office at Walkers Cay and many other Bohemian points of origin consists of an open air hut under a Magnolia tree. In the end, it turned out that it had just taken off from the nearby Chalks Air water terminal heading for Bimini, Bahamas
The number of dead jumped repeatedly between 12 and 21. Does it really matter what the actual number of people that were killed is at this early point in the so called “reporting” of the story?
What I need to know is what they know is true…something like this:
“An airplane crashed near the beach in Miami in full view of hundreds if not thousands of eye witnesses. The airplane was a seaplane and, while it was believed to not be empty of passengers—we do KNOW that it had at least one person on board (the pilot) when it hit the water in an uncontrolled manner.”
At that point the reporters should just shut their stupid mouths. They should stop talking and do some actual investigating before they tell the public further details that turn out to be completely WRONG.
But Noooooooo—they can't do that
Instead, in an effort to get the “scoop,” to be the FIRST to say something, they seem to be willing to say ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.
After reporting that the airliner had exploded and lost a wing in midair, FOX News also reported that the pilot seemed to have “diverted” the aircraft at the last minute to avoid hitting a bunch of surfers and fishermen on the jetty at Government Cut.
WRONGGGGGG!
Neither Orville and Wilbur Wright, Amelia Airheart, The Red Barron, Billy Mitchel, or even Jimmy Stewart and John Wayne could have “diverted” a 20,000 pound wad of plummeting aluminum and steel after one wing falls off.
Those surfers and fishermen better all go home and hug their Mamas and wives and go to church this Sunday and thank God or Allah or somebody that they weren’t killed in the moments after that airplane stopped flying and starting acting like a big giant flaming rock.
Later in the afternoon and last evening the big story appears to have focused on the AGE of these old Grumman airplanes—averaging nearly 60 years.
“Yeah, they’re old airplanes, that’s the problem they say—Ohhhhhhhh Myyyyy”
I say, yes they were old…“so what?”
There are literally tens of thousands of old airplanes flying around out there every single day, all over the world. Some carry only the owner/pilot while others are routinely filled with paying passengers. Things like old DC-3’s that were built in the 1930’s and military C-130’s that also originated in the 1940’s.
It’s not the AGE of the airplane that matters as much as WHO is operating it and how it is MAINTAINED that makes a difference. If you buy a brand new Boeing 777 and park it out in the salt air at Miami International and ignore it for three months, then jump in and try to take off on your way to Las Vegas, I can almost guarnatee you that one engine probably won't run properly and that the working engine will be quite capable of taking you directly to the scene of the upcoming crash.
Chalks Ocean Air operates under FAR (Federal Aviation Regulations) Part 121 rather than the slightly more lenient FAR Part 135. FAR Part 121 governs the operations of all of the larger airline carriers flying the bigger airplanes like the Airbus and Boeing jets we all know and love.
For this reason, they are subject to the same pilot training and qualification standards and aircraft certification requirements as Delta Airlines. They can’t get away with paying just any old one eyed, bearded, beach bum, pilot wanna-be like me with an expired third class FAA medical certificate to grab the throttles and yolk and blast off into the “wild blue yonder.”
I did some checking with the NTSB Website just to see what Chalk Air’s safety record looked like, and it’s DAMN GOOD. They’ve actually been flying passengers since 1919, but they’ve only had 7_reportable incidents and they haven’t killed or injured anyone prior to yesterday’s crash according to the online records that have been kept since 1962.
Being an aviation enthusiast, I happen to know that Pan Am also flew the same Grummand G-73’s until they went bankrupt back in 1991. Chalks Air acquired their airplanes and before this accident, there are only EIGHT total fatalities reported in Grumman G-73’s and G-73T’s since 1962 (including Chalk Air’s operations.)
Get the picture?
The Grumman G-73’s and G-73T’s are OLD airplanes, but they are also SAFE airplanes. Age might have been the cause of this crash, but the media also needs to be looking at turbine engine failure and foreign object damage and any one of a thousand other causes…Stop worrying…
I’ve actually flown to Walker’s Cay Bahamas with this airline on this exact type of airplane, a 1948 Grumman Mallard, in 1997. We successfully landed and took back off from the ocean, and returned safely to Ft. Lauderdale without once causing me to believe that my life was in any kind of unacceptable danger.
These airplanes have been immaculately rebuilt and restored, with new modern turboprop engines replacing the old Pratt & Whitney radials (thus the G-73T versus the G-73 designation.)
The Chalks pilots get to wear kaki shorts and boat shoes with starched white shirts and Ray Ban sunglasses, and they pipe 1940’s period music into the passenger cabin on old fashioned headphones just to recreate the antique feel of getting to fly in an earlier era.
I loved every minute of the experience, and if I had to die in a plane crash I would rather it be on an old Grumman on my way to the Bahamas than on a 767 on my way to Cleveland or Milwaukee.
Please don’t misunderstand me here. Twenty souls dispatched at one time in a fiery trail of smoke ending in the ocean is a first class tragedy for the individuals and their families. It’s a loss that deserves a thorough investigation in order to prevent it happening again—IF that is possible.
My heart goes out to the victims and their families, but my ears and eyes can also be considered to be the weary victims of the hyperbolic phenomena that we call the MAINSTREAM MEDIA.
I offer a hearty “Bah Humbug” to all of the media, including FOX News.
Now Watch every single aircraft incident that occurrs in the next few days jump to the front pages of newspapers and into your living room on the TV every night, even though an average of 116 people will die each day in auto accidents and probably won’t get an ounce of ink or video time on the evening news, except on an individual local basis.
Get a GRIP, people…
There is an old adage I love that goes something like this:
It’s better to remain silent and let people assume that you might be stupid…
than to open your mouth, thereby removing all doubt.
This latest airline crash down in Miami, or rather, I should say, the news coverage thereof, could benefit from adherence to this train of thought (excuse the unintentional pun.)
I walked back into my house about 4:15 this afternoon to find FOX News showing aerial footage of the accident scene and interviews with eye witnesses and authorities in the area.
Within minutes I was cringing and wincing at the horror as I viewed the results of the accident, and I’m not talking about the loss of twenty lives including three infants when I say this.
What I’m referencing as “horrible” was the news coverage and associated live commentary of the incident that was even more disastrous than the details of the deaths.
Like the recent Gulfstream landing gear incident out in Oregon and the even more recent 737 runway incident at Chicago’s Midway airport, the reporting commentary was inane and down right irresponsible.
I think that there aught to be a law that when anything technical happens that is considered newsworthy, bad or good—things like air accidents and toaster oven explosions—that the media hierarchy should be required to send three quarters of their employees home for the day and use a generous portion of duct tape to cover the mouths of the other twenty five percent of their staff, being careful to leave their EARS uncovered so they can LISTEN before they start “REPORTING” on whatever news story they're doing their "reporting" about.
I, for one, want to hear NEWS, not the BS du jour.
Why supply a putrid stream of rumors, innuendo, and speculation, live and in color, for hours as the story develops and call it reporting? OK, show me the video of the scene, broadcast the news conference with “the authorities”, but spare me the blithering, inarticulate verbal essays from wetsuit clad “eyewitnesses”:
“Dude…It was flying real low, and then it blew up with a loud ‘boom’, then it was covered up with flame and it did three barrel rolls and a loop the loop and pieces started falling off before it almost landed on top of my surfboard.”
The persons responsible for such technically articulate commentary usually wouldn’t know an aileron from a rudder trim tab or an engine nacelle from a nosecone if one landed on the sofa beside them during the 11 o’clock news.
Most of the time they don't know what they were seeing when they saw it, and listening to some layman try to tell me about things like this never ceases to cause my eyes to glaze over and my hair to fall out of my ever balding head.
I don’t recall the “reporters” names, and during the press conferences they weren’t identified, but the factual evolution of the story in my opinion ran somewhere between comical and absurd.
First the airplane was postulated to have been returning to the US from some destination in the Bahamas so the fuel tanks should have been near empty and the reported explosion could “possibly” have been the result of a “bomb.”
Could it have been terrorism?
Well…Possibly, but not probably, even though the customs office at Walkers Cay and many other Bohemian points of origin consists of an open air hut under a Magnolia tree. In the end, it turned out that it had just taken off from the nearby Chalks Air water terminal heading for Bimini, Bahamas
The number of dead jumped repeatedly between 12 and 21. Does it really matter what the actual number of people that were killed is at this early point in the so called “reporting” of the story?
What I need to know is what they know is true…something like this:
“An airplane crashed near the beach in Miami in full view of hundreds if not thousands of eye witnesses. The airplane was a seaplane and, while it was believed to not be empty of passengers—we do KNOW that it had at least one person on board (the pilot) when it hit the water in an uncontrolled manner.”
At that point the reporters should just shut their stupid mouths. They should stop talking and do some actual investigating before they tell the public further details that turn out to be completely WRONG.
But Noooooooo—they can't do that
Instead, in an effort to get the “scoop,” to be the FIRST to say something, they seem to be willing to say ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.
After reporting that the airliner had exploded and lost a wing in midair, FOX News also reported that the pilot seemed to have “diverted” the aircraft at the last minute to avoid hitting a bunch of surfers and fishermen on the jetty at Government Cut.
WRONGGGGGG!
Neither Orville and Wilbur Wright, Amelia Airheart, The Red Barron, Billy Mitchel, or even Jimmy Stewart and John Wayne could have “diverted” a 20,000 pound wad of plummeting aluminum and steel after one wing falls off.
Those surfers and fishermen better all go home and hug their Mamas and wives and go to church this Sunday and thank God or Allah or somebody that they weren’t killed in the moments after that airplane stopped flying and starting acting like a big giant flaming rock.
Later in the afternoon and last evening the big story appears to have focused on the AGE of these old Grumman airplanes—averaging nearly 60 years.
“Yeah, they’re old airplanes, that’s the problem they say—Ohhhhhhhh Myyyyy”
I say, yes they were old…“so what?”
There are literally tens of thousands of old airplanes flying around out there every single day, all over the world. Some carry only the owner/pilot while others are routinely filled with paying passengers. Things like old DC-3’s that were built in the 1930’s and military C-130’s that also originated in the 1940’s.
It’s not the AGE of the airplane that matters as much as WHO is operating it and how it is MAINTAINED that makes a difference. If you buy a brand new Boeing 777 and park it out in the salt air at Miami International and ignore it for three months, then jump in and try to take off on your way to Las Vegas, I can almost guarnatee you that one engine probably won't run properly and that the working engine will be quite capable of taking you directly to the scene of the upcoming crash.
Chalks Ocean Air operates under FAR (Federal Aviation Regulations) Part 121 rather than the slightly more lenient FAR Part 135. FAR Part 121 governs the operations of all of the larger airline carriers flying the bigger airplanes like the Airbus and Boeing jets we all know and love.
For this reason, they are subject to the same pilot training and qualification standards and aircraft certification requirements as Delta Airlines. They can’t get away with paying just any old one eyed, bearded, beach bum, pilot wanna-be like me with an expired third class FAA medical certificate to grab the throttles and yolk and blast off into the “wild blue yonder.”
I did some checking with the NTSB Website just to see what Chalk Air’s safety record looked like, and it’s DAMN GOOD. They’ve actually been flying passengers since 1919, but they’ve only had 7_reportable incidents and they haven’t killed or injured anyone prior to yesterday’s crash according to the online records that have been kept since 1962.
Being an aviation enthusiast, I happen to know that Pan Am also flew the same Grummand G-73’s until they went bankrupt back in 1991. Chalks Air acquired their airplanes and before this accident, there are only EIGHT total fatalities reported in Grumman G-73’s and G-73T’s since 1962 (including Chalk Air’s operations.)
Get the picture?
The Grumman G-73’s and G-73T’s are OLD airplanes, but they are also SAFE airplanes. Age might have been the cause of this crash, but the media also needs to be looking at turbine engine failure and foreign object damage and any one of a thousand other causes…Stop worrying…
I’ve actually flown to Walker’s Cay Bahamas with this airline on this exact type of airplane, a 1948 Grumman Mallard, in 1997. We successfully landed and took back off from the ocean, and returned safely to Ft. Lauderdale without once causing me to believe that my life was in any kind of unacceptable danger.
These airplanes have been immaculately rebuilt and restored, with new modern turboprop engines replacing the old Pratt & Whitney radials (thus the G-73T versus the G-73 designation.)
The Chalks pilots get to wear kaki shorts and boat shoes with starched white shirts and Ray Ban sunglasses, and they pipe 1940’s period music into the passenger cabin on old fashioned headphones just to recreate the antique feel of getting to fly in an earlier era.
I loved every minute of the experience, and if I had to die in a plane crash I would rather it be on an old Grumman on my way to the Bahamas than on a 767 on my way to Cleveland or Milwaukee.
Please don’t misunderstand me here. Twenty souls dispatched at one time in a fiery trail of smoke ending in the ocean is a first class tragedy for the individuals and their families. It’s a loss that deserves a thorough investigation in order to prevent it happening again—IF that is possible.
My heart goes out to the victims and their families, but my ears and eyes can also be considered to be the weary victims of the hyperbolic phenomena that we call the MAINSTREAM MEDIA.
I offer a hearty “Bah Humbug” to all of the media, including FOX News.
Now Watch every single aircraft incident that occurrs in the next few days jump to the front pages of newspapers and into your living room on the TV every night, even though an average of 116 people will die each day in auto accidents and probably won’t get an ounce of ink or video time on the evening news, except on an individual local basis.
Get a GRIP, people…
Monday, December 19, 2005
Ignorance, Insolence, or Stupidity?
I'll Let You Decide...
I swear that I really need to get a wireless notebook computer to use in the car. If had a keyboard and an internet connection on board I could write and post at LEAST ten pages of blogging “live from the scene of the crime” practically every single day.
By “scene of the crime” I don’t mean crimes in the actual law and order sense, I mean crimes of IGNORANCE, INSOLENCE, OR STUPIDITY.
Let me describe three situations that I witnessed recently and let you decide what the answer is…
Situation #1:
I was walking through the parking lot this afternoon at our local grocery store with my elderly friend “Bucky” (Dartmouth class of 1942.) When we reached the vehicular lane running in front of the store entrance, a driver that had just entered the parking lot from an adjacent road was kind enough to pause and motioned for us to cross the lane in front of him.
As we traversed the thirty or so feet of asphalt between us and the sidewalk, an SUV occupied by a solo woman, the driver, mindlessly blithering on her cell phone, also entered the lot and was forced to come to a stop behind the vehicle that had stopped and yielded to Bucky and I.
Once we had crossed about two thirds of the distance to the relative safety of the store entrance, the second driver proceed to sit on her horn, producing at least a three second long loud blast that caused Bucky and I and another half dozen shoppers to stop in our tracks and look to see what was happening.
We then hurried our progress as much is as possible for an 85 year old man walking with a walking stick. (Once I recovered from leaping three feet into the air, I also quickly moved to get out of her way as best as I could.)
Once we reached the curb, and as our lovely antagonist passed by us with her head turned convenantly away from our glare, I yelled “GET OVER YOURSELF.”
Another lady shopper laughed and said “good job.” Everyone was lucky that I was in Bucky’s company or my delivery might have taken a significantly more coarse verbal tone.
So how would you describe the source of this problem?
Was it Ignorance, Insolence, or Stupidity?
Situation #2:
After finishing Bucky’s twenty minute shopping spree and arriving at the register area, I volunteered to process his dozen items through one of the self service checkout isles.
I love the self service isles for their usual speed and convienance. I can run them almost as fast as the store’s cashiers. The only thing I haven’t accomplished is memorizing all of the barcodes for fruit and vegetables, although I know that Chiquita Bananas are #4011
What I didn’t notice when we got started was the middle aged man accompanied by his teenaged son who apparently thought that they were too important to wait in one of the other lines consisting of one or two persons “backed up” at each the full service registers.
Their actions were possibly acceptable in theory because there were four self service registers, but the problem arose when it became apparent that they had ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE—NO IDEA WHATSOEVER how to scan and bag their own groceries- an entire shopping cart full of food and drink.
The problem I had with this situation was that there is only one attendant monitoring the four self-serve registers.
The attendant was forced to hold their hand through the entire tedious process. She basically ended up doing their checkout for them, thereby turning the “self serve” checkout into their own personal “full serve checkout” because they refused to wait their turn.
To add insult to injury, the first item that I scanned was a bottle of wine, so I was forced to wait for the attendant to complete our co-shoppers expedited experience so that she could check my ID and allow our register to proceed with the process.
I see this kind of behavior at Home Depot and the grocery store all of the time. Please tell me if it is a symptom of IGNORANCE, INSOLENCE, or STUPIDITY?
Situation #3:
Finally, I saw this little incident a few weeks ago. As I turned into the grocery store parking lot I was forced to immediately come to an abrupt stop only a few car lengths inside the entrance.
What the heck?
As I slowly crept into the parking area I observed that the source of the delay wasn’t a middle aged Redneck and his elderly escort, but rather it was yet ANOTHER woman driver, talking on her cell phone while proudly displaying her shiny new Volvo station wagon and her poor parking skills adjacent to the fire lane/curb directly in front of the store between the two entrances.
The vehicular lane was effectively reduced to a one way flow pattern, causing the traffic jam at the entrance of the store lot.
What really got me was that I had time to park my truck, go into the store, pick out and purchase a half dozen items, and return to the parking lot to find Miss./Mrs. “Important” still sitting there blocking traffic.
Again I ask you, is THIS behavior an example of Ignorance, Insolence, or Stupidity?
I have developed a solution for this particular situation. The next time I find someone camping out in the fire lane on the curb for any substantial length of time I’m going to walk right up to the offending vehicle, tap on the window, and ask the driver for their autograph.
When they ask me "why?", I’m going to answer:
“BECAUSE YOU MUST BE A FAMOUS OR OTHERWISE DAMN IMPORTANT PERSON TO SPEND THIS MUCH TIME ILLEGALLY PARKED WHERE YOU ARE PARKED.”
That aught to do it…
Answer key: Situation #1-Ignorance; Situation #2-Stupidity; Situation #3-Insolence
I swear that I really need to get a wireless notebook computer to use in the car. If had a keyboard and an internet connection on board I could write and post at LEAST ten pages of blogging “live from the scene of the crime” practically every single day.
By “scene of the crime” I don’t mean crimes in the actual law and order sense, I mean crimes of IGNORANCE, INSOLENCE, OR STUPIDITY.
Let me describe three situations that I witnessed recently and let you decide what the answer is…
Situation #1:
I was walking through the parking lot this afternoon at our local grocery store with my elderly friend “Bucky” (Dartmouth class of 1942.) When we reached the vehicular lane running in front of the store entrance, a driver that had just entered the parking lot from an adjacent road was kind enough to pause and motioned for us to cross the lane in front of him.
As we traversed the thirty or so feet of asphalt between us and the sidewalk, an SUV occupied by a solo woman, the driver, mindlessly blithering on her cell phone, also entered the lot and was forced to come to a stop behind the vehicle that had stopped and yielded to Bucky and I.
Once we had crossed about two thirds of the distance to the relative safety of the store entrance, the second driver proceed to sit on her horn, producing at least a three second long loud blast that caused Bucky and I and another half dozen shoppers to stop in our tracks and look to see what was happening.
We then hurried our progress as much is as possible for an 85 year old man walking with a walking stick. (Once I recovered from leaping three feet into the air, I also quickly moved to get out of her way as best as I could.)
Once we reached the curb, and as our lovely antagonist passed by us with her head turned convenantly away from our glare, I yelled “GET OVER YOURSELF.”
Another lady shopper laughed and said “good job.” Everyone was lucky that I was in Bucky’s company or my delivery might have taken a significantly more coarse verbal tone.
So how would you describe the source of this problem?
Was it Ignorance, Insolence, or Stupidity?
Situation #2:
After finishing Bucky’s twenty minute shopping spree and arriving at the register area, I volunteered to process his dozen items through one of the self service checkout isles.
I love the self service isles for their usual speed and convienance. I can run them almost as fast as the store’s cashiers. The only thing I haven’t accomplished is memorizing all of the barcodes for fruit and vegetables, although I know that Chiquita Bananas are #4011
What I didn’t notice when we got started was the middle aged man accompanied by his teenaged son who apparently thought that they were too important to wait in one of the other lines consisting of one or two persons “backed up” at each the full service registers.
Their actions were possibly acceptable in theory because there were four self service registers, but the problem arose when it became apparent that they had ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE—NO IDEA WHATSOEVER how to scan and bag their own groceries- an entire shopping cart full of food and drink.
The problem I had with this situation was that there is only one attendant monitoring the four self-serve registers.
The attendant was forced to hold their hand through the entire tedious process. She basically ended up doing their checkout for them, thereby turning the “self serve” checkout into their own personal “full serve checkout” because they refused to wait their turn.
To add insult to injury, the first item that I scanned was a bottle of wine, so I was forced to wait for the attendant to complete our co-shoppers expedited experience so that she could check my ID and allow our register to proceed with the process.
I see this kind of behavior at Home Depot and the grocery store all of the time. Please tell me if it is a symptom of IGNORANCE, INSOLENCE, or STUPIDITY?
Situation #3:
Finally, I saw this little incident a few weeks ago. As I turned into the grocery store parking lot I was forced to immediately come to an abrupt stop only a few car lengths inside the entrance.
What the heck?
As I slowly crept into the parking area I observed that the source of the delay wasn’t a middle aged Redneck and his elderly escort, but rather it was yet ANOTHER woman driver, talking on her cell phone while proudly displaying her shiny new Volvo station wagon and her poor parking skills adjacent to the fire lane/curb directly in front of the store between the two entrances.
The vehicular lane was effectively reduced to a one way flow pattern, causing the traffic jam at the entrance of the store lot.
What really got me was that I had time to park my truck, go into the store, pick out and purchase a half dozen items, and return to the parking lot to find Miss./Mrs. “Important” still sitting there blocking traffic.
Again I ask you, is THIS behavior an example of Ignorance, Insolence, or Stupidity?
I have developed a solution for this particular situation. The next time I find someone camping out in the fire lane on the curb for any substantial length of time I’m going to walk right up to the offending vehicle, tap on the window, and ask the driver for their autograph.
When they ask me "why?", I’m going to answer:
“BECAUSE YOU MUST BE A FAMOUS OR OTHERWISE DAMN IMPORTANT PERSON TO SPEND THIS MUCH TIME ILLEGALLY PARKED WHERE YOU ARE PARKED.”
That aught to do it…
Answer key: Situation #1-Ignorance; Situation #2-Stupidity; Situation #3-Insolence
C.E.O.
A Lose/Lose Proposition
Say you’re a highly paid executive that has been brought in to run a company that’s having very specific problems. You have a bulging retirement liability, soaring healthcare costs, increasing competition from foreign companies, and threats to your security from outside forces wanting to steal your secrets and take over your operations.
In addition to an Ivy League education and a great deal of experience in government, you have also been previously employed at a high level in private industry. Your father even served as CEO of this same company years ago, so you have some intimate knowledge of the problems relating to the day to day operations this giant corporation.
Now suppose that you present a list of things that you as CEO want to do in an effort to solve your company’s problems, but the members of your board of directors hyperventilate, faint, and scream bloody murder to the shareholders over every single one of the line items in your plan. Some ideas save money, some are costly, and some require that your employees and shareholders accept some limitations in an effort to improve your overall situation.
After years of dissent, in the end your board only allows you to implement about half of your ideas, they limit and change the ones you do get to enact, and as time moves on they continue to kick and scream and criticize your efforts and nit-pick the results you obtain.
Finally, as the company slides toward insolvency, a group of your hostile competitors comes in and takes over operations—leaving you and your board of directors out of a job and causing your shareholders to lose all of their investment.
The board blames ALL of the failure on you, in spite of their responsibility in preventing you from implementing your plans. You lied, you mislead, you were incompetent, you didn’t have a plan, they say.
That would SUCK royally, wouldn’t it?
Now you know how President Bush probably feels…
Say you’re a highly paid executive that has been brought in to run a company that’s having very specific problems. You have a bulging retirement liability, soaring healthcare costs, increasing competition from foreign companies, and threats to your security from outside forces wanting to steal your secrets and take over your operations.
In addition to an Ivy League education and a great deal of experience in government, you have also been previously employed at a high level in private industry. Your father even served as CEO of this same company years ago, so you have some intimate knowledge of the problems relating to the day to day operations this giant corporation.
Now suppose that you present a list of things that you as CEO want to do in an effort to solve your company’s problems, but the members of your board of directors hyperventilate, faint, and scream bloody murder to the shareholders over every single one of the line items in your plan. Some ideas save money, some are costly, and some require that your employees and shareholders accept some limitations in an effort to improve your overall situation.
After years of dissent, in the end your board only allows you to implement about half of your ideas, they limit and change the ones you do get to enact, and as time moves on they continue to kick and scream and criticize your efforts and nit-pick the results you obtain.
Finally, as the company slides toward insolvency, a group of your hostile competitors comes in and takes over operations—leaving you and your board of directors out of a job and causing your shareholders to lose all of their investment.
The board blames ALL of the failure on you, in spite of their responsibility in preventing you from implementing your plans. You lied, you mislead, you were incompetent, you didn’t have a plan, they say.
That would SUCK royally, wouldn’t it?
Now you know how President Bush probably feels…
I Am The King
Everyone...Eat Your Hearts Out...
This happened once before earlier this year and as soon as I bragged about it, Google changed their algorithm or everyone started ignoring me or something because I fell from number 1 to number 99.
In a moment of self edifying weakness, this morning I "Googled" my name again, expecting to spaz out on the sofa cursing and otherwise taking the Google God's names collectively in vain and planning to sabotage their new Boeing 737 jet, when I found that I was number 1 (and number 5) again:
I'm so elated--With this and $.95, I can probably get a cup of Waffle House coffee...
This happened once before earlier this year and as soon as I bragged about it, Google changed their algorithm or everyone started ignoring me or something because I fell from number 1 to number 99.
In a moment of self edifying weakness, this morning I "Googled" my name again, expecting to spaz out on the sofa cursing and otherwise taking the Google God's names collectively in vain and planning to sabotage their new Boeing 737 jet, when I found that I was number 1 (and number 5) again:
I'm so elated--With this and $.95, I can probably get a cup of Waffle House coffee...
Striking The Set
Sunday was a day of mixed emotions in my theater life. This afternoon's matinee showing of "A Christmas Carol" at Brunswick's Ritz Theater was the final presentation.
Pat and I were invited back to see the show (we also attended opening night) and afterward the cast posed for some still photos of scenes I had not been able to shoot during dress rehearsal.
Here are a couple of shots:
Pat and I were invited back to see the show (we also attended opening night) and afterward the cast posed for some still photos of scenes I had not been able to shoot during dress rehearsal.
Here are a couple of shots:
After the photo session, we broke out the electric screwdrivers and an hour and one-half later the set was reduced to plywood panels and 2x4's.
As an engineer and builder, it's hard for me to see the product of over 20 hours of design/drawings and 60 hours of construction wiped away so easily--but that's the way things are in the theater business.
Oh well, at least I have the pictures and in the words of Bob Hope...
The Memories...
Sunday, December 18, 2005
K'Nex
I got my first Erector Set back in the 1960's when they were still made out of metal. I also was a wizard with Tinker Toys and Lincoln Logs.
My Mom gave me a set of these new plastic K'Nex a couple of Christmas ago and it had stayed in the box since we moved here from Atlanta. I broke it out and did a little ad-libbing--I added a loop to the roller coaster track layout.
All Aboard...Hold On To Your Cookies...
My Mom gave me a set of these new plastic K'Nex a couple of Christmas ago and it had stayed in the box since we moved here from Atlanta. I broke it out and did a little ad-libbing--I added a loop to the roller coaster track layout.
All Aboard...Hold On To Your Cookies...
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Parking Lot Etiquette
The Privileged Few…
Say that you’ve managed to live a few hundred years (ok, sixty or seventy years) and you come down here to St. Simons to visit a couple of times each year.
We (the "locals") realize that you think that you’ve got special privileges.
Better yet, maybe you’re fortunate enough to actually own a place on East Beach or Sea Island and you just know that you’re head and shoulders more important that the rest of all the unwashed masses that visit on vacation or rent a condo year round like we do.
You’ve got extra special privileges too—privileges relating to ignoring the rules of common driving courtesy. And especially when it comes to driving your $80,000 car around in places like the grocery store parking lot, a place that I frequent three or four times a week.
Based on my observations over the past 21 months here on St. Simons Island, I proudly present for your review the following:
The Wealthy, Pompus, Arrogant Old Geezer’s & Gezerette’s Bill of Driving & Parking Rights
1. When entering a crowded parking lot and not finding an available space in the first five seconds, feel free to park in the fire lane next to the curb. Who cares if you left your temporary handicapped pass on the mirror of your Escalade. Your BMW doesn’t take up too much room and people can just drive around you when they see your emergency flashers. (Causing a twenty minute traffic jam in front of the store due to the cramped layout of the parking lot is no reason to get a clue and move while your passenger does your shopping.)
2. When driving up a one way parking lane in the opposite direction, feel free to execute a three point U-turn to take a space that I’ve been waiting on for three minutes while one of your fellow geezers/gezeretts fiddles with their spare tire and rear view mirrors. Also don’t worry if your three point U-turn turns out to require eight or ten cycles of two foot zigzags to complete. After all, you’ve earned the right to make OTHER PEOPLE WAIT on you at your advanced age, high income, and superior social status.
3. When I’m walking through the parking lot, don’t bother yourself with slowing down below 35 MPH or pausing if I’m already half way across the lane in front of you. Again, with your advanced age, far be it for me to cause your waste a single minute of your limited remaining time here on God’s green planet, and besides--I really need the exercise gained doing ten yard wind sprints and the high jump over your Lexus’ fender.
4. When you’ve parked your car (following rules 1 thru 3 above), realize that when walking into the store you also have very special rights. For instance, what you don’t see can’t possibly hurt you. To this end, you can do things like walking slowly down the middle of the parking isle, pausing to greet every single stranger like they are your long lost college roommate. Have a five minute conversation if you want to, I'll wait.
5. Once you’ve finished your shopping (extending all of your special privileges to the inside of the grocery store and the manner in which you push your shopping cart) upon exiting the store you can also do things like step off of the curb inches in front of my bumper and not be injured…as long as you look straight ahead or turn your head and look back over your shoulder to converse with another shopper as you enter the roadway. Remember—what you don’t see can’t hurt you.
6. And finally, upon completing your privileged shopping experience, don’t bother troubling yourself with insignificant things like returning your shopping cart to the storage racks convienently located every 75 feet throughout the parking lot. Just leave that rusty wire cart leaning against the driver’s door or the front bumper of my ten year old paid for Suburban where it’s out of your way. God forbid you should waste your energy on the extra steps it would take to stow the cart or that the cart should ding the paint on your pride and joy that you're leasing for two years at $139 a month with $8000 down for qualified buyers.
That’s about it…Any Questions?
Say that you’ve managed to live a few hundred years (ok, sixty or seventy years) and you come down here to St. Simons to visit a couple of times each year.
We (the "locals") realize that you think that you’ve got special privileges.
Better yet, maybe you’re fortunate enough to actually own a place on East Beach or Sea Island and you just know that you’re head and shoulders more important that the rest of all the unwashed masses that visit on vacation or rent a condo year round like we do.
You’ve got extra special privileges too—privileges relating to ignoring the rules of common driving courtesy. And especially when it comes to driving your $80,000 car around in places like the grocery store parking lot, a place that I frequent three or four times a week.
Based on my observations over the past 21 months here on St. Simons Island, I proudly present for your review the following:
The Wealthy, Pompus, Arrogant Old Geezer’s & Gezerette’s Bill of Driving & Parking Rights
1. When entering a crowded parking lot and not finding an available space in the first five seconds, feel free to park in the fire lane next to the curb. Who cares if you left your temporary handicapped pass on the mirror of your Escalade. Your BMW doesn’t take up too much room and people can just drive around you when they see your emergency flashers. (Causing a twenty minute traffic jam in front of the store due to the cramped layout of the parking lot is no reason to get a clue and move while your passenger does your shopping.)
2. When driving up a one way parking lane in the opposite direction, feel free to execute a three point U-turn to take a space that I’ve been waiting on for three minutes while one of your fellow geezers/gezeretts fiddles with their spare tire and rear view mirrors. Also don’t worry if your three point U-turn turns out to require eight or ten cycles of two foot zigzags to complete. After all, you’ve earned the right to make OTHER PEOPLE WAIT on you at your advanced age, high income, and superior social status.
3. When I’m walking through the parking lot, don’t bother yourself with slowing down below 35 MPH or pausing if I’m already half way across the lane in front of you. Again, with your advanced age, far be it for me to cause your waste a single minute of your limited remaining time here on God’s green planet, and besides--I really need the exercise gained doing ten yard wind sprints and the high jump over your Lexus’ fender.
4. When you’ve parked your car (following rules 1 thru 3 above), realize that when walking into the store you also have very special rights. For instance, what you don’t see can’t possibly hurt you. To this end, you can do things like walking slowly down the middle of the parking isle, pausing to greet every single stranger like they are your long lost college roommate. Have a five minute conversation if you want to, I'll wait.
5. Once you’ve finished your shopping (extending all of your special privileges to the inside of the grocery store and the manner in which you push your shopping cart) upon exiting the store you can also do things like step off of the curb inches in front of my bumper and not be injured…as long as you look straight ahead or turn your head and look back over your shoulder to converse with another shopper as you enter the roadway. Remember—what you don’t see can’t hurt you.
6. And finally, upon completing your privileged shopping experience, don’t bother troubling yourself with insignificant things like returning your shopping cart to the storage racks convienently located every 75 feet throughout the parking lot. Just leave that rusty wire cart leaning against the driver’s door or the front bumper of my ten year old paid for Suburban where it’s out of your way. God forbid you should waste your energy on the extra steps it would take to stow the cart or that the cart should ding the paint on your pride and joy that you're leasing for two years at $139 a month with $8000 down for qualified buyers.
That’s about it…Any Questions?
Friday, December 16, 2005
Custom Christmas Cards
I did a series of cartoons a couple of years ago on Pat's Casio Personal organizer as a joke for her at Christmas. I was copying original art I found on the internet, but I did all of the sketches freehand using a stylus on the little tiny screen of her organizer.
I've downloaded them into PhotoShop, done a little clean up, made some adjustments, and my friends and family will be getting something that looks like this in the mail shortly...
I've downloaded them into PhotoShop, done a little clean up, made some adjustments, and my friends and family will be getting something that looks like this in the mail shortly...
I’ve Had It Right Up To Here
Pointing To The Top Of My Head…
Call me petty.
Call me Crass.
Call me a racist.
Call me an ASS.
What I want to know is—what the heck is going on these days with the idea of naming everything in sight for people like Martin Luther King or every other minor politician and so called “civic leader”?
Bridges, roads, football stadiums—you name it—there is someone out there lobbying to stick the name of someone “famous” on it. The latest victim of the “name game” is the “Governator”—you know...California governor Arnold Schwarznegger?
Apparently there is a football stadium in Graz Austria named for Arnold. It also seems like the local yokels, the powers what be, there in the Alps are pissed off that Arnold didn’t save the miserable hide of gang-banger Tookie Williams this week.
The Arnold Schwarzenegger Football Stadium in Austria's second-largest city Graz is to be renamed as a sign of displeasure with the city's most famous son,.
A majority of members on Graz City Council voted to rename the stadium after the Austrian-born governor of California approved the execution of Stanley "Tookie" Williams, according to newspaper Kleine Zeitung.
“It's getting on our nerves that we're again and again being criticised for Schwarzenegger's actions in California," said SP Vice Mayor Welter Ferk.
Well, I think that Vice Mayor Ferk is a jerk. I also think that Arnold should tell them to take a hike. After all, it’s not Arnold’s stadium, and if the people that own the stadium want to rename it for Don King or Michael Moore or Jesse Jackson, I say that they should have at it.
Knock themselves out if they will. Change the name on a daily basis.
Name it the Barbara Streisand/Nanci Pelosi Liberal Blowhard Pigskin Complex for all I care.
Meanwhile, back here in the good old USA you’ll be hard pressed to not find a road in every single town named for Dr. King. Did you ever pay attention to how that happened back in the 1970’s and 1980’s?
Generally they didn’t build a new road and name it "M. L. King", they just took a vote in the local city council and changed the name of an existing road. For every road with Reverend King’s name on it, many times there is another individual’s or another family’s name that was removed in the process. Many times the contribution of land and right-of-way for the original construction of the road is erased in the renaming process.
My own family has suffered exactly that injustice. Drive down to Elba, Alabama and look for “Taylor Mill Road” in downtown, if you will.
You’ll be driving around for a while because it’s not there anymore. Today that road is called ML King Boulevard. Why they call it a “Boulevard” rather than a road or street I’ll never know—it was always a “road” when it was named for my mother’s mother’s family back in the early 1900’s. A mile or two out of town the name changes back to Taylor Mill Road as it winds past the country club and the site of the old Taylor Grist Mill.
How easily memory’s fade and politicians trample over the landmarks respecting citizens that made substantial contributions to their community in their day. My grandfather lived to see the dirt road running through his property paved by the State of Alabama in the 1970’s. He donated all of the right-of-way to the state, and it is identified on maps as county road 97, and also known as John Rushing Road.
I’m wondering if my family would be willing to let the politicians name our Grandpa’s road for Governor Schwarznegger for one week each year as a consolation prize?
It seems like a good idea to me…
Call me petty.
Call me Crass.
Call me a racist.
Call me an ASS.
What I want to know is—what the heck is going on these days with the idea of naming everything in sight for people like Martin Luther King or every other minor politician and so called “civic leader”?
Bridges, roads, football stadiums—you name it—there is someone out there lobbying to stick the name of someone “famous” on it. The latest victim of the “name game” is the “Governator”—you know...California governor Arnold Schwarznegger?
Apparently there is a football stadium in Graz Austria named for Arnold. It also seems like the local yokels, the powers what be, there in the Alps are pissed off that Arnold didn’t save the miserable hide of gang-banger Tookie Williams this week.
The Arnold Schwarzenegger Football Stadium in Austria's second-largest city Graz is to be renamed as a sign of displeasure with the city's most famous son,.
A majority of members on Graz City Council voted to rename the stadium after the Austrian-born governor of California approved the execution of Stanley "Tookie" Williams, according to newspaper Kleine Zeitung.
“It's getting on our nerves that we're again and again being criticised for Schwarzenegger's actions in California," said SP Vice Mayor Welter Ferk.
Well, I think that Vice Mayor Ferk is a jerk. I also think that Arnold should tell them to take a hike. After all, it’s not Arnold’s stadium, and if the people that own the stadium want to rename it for Don King or Michael Moore or Jesse Jackson, I say that they should have at it.
Knock themselves out if they will. Change the name on a daily basis.
Name it the Barbara Streisand/Nanci Pelosi Liberal Blowhard Pigskin Complex for all I care.
Meanwhile, back here in the good old USA you’ll be hard pressed to not find a road in every single town named for Dr. King. Did you ever pay attention to how that happened back in the 1970’s and 1980’s?
Generally they didn’t build a new road and name it "M. L. King", they just took a vote in the local city council and changed the name of an existing road. For every road with Reverend King’s name on it, many times there is another individual’s or another family’s name that was removed in the process. Many times the contribution of land and right-of-way for the original construction of the road is erased in the renaming process.
My own family has suffered exactly that injustice. Drive down to Elba, Alabama and look for “Taylor Mill Road” in downtown, if you will.
You’ll be driving around for a while because it’s not there anymore. Today that road is called ML King Boulevard. Why they call it a “Boulevard” rather than a road or street I’ll never know—it was always a “road” when it was named for my mother’s mother’s family back in the early 1900’s. A mile or two out of town the name changes back to Taylor Mill Road as it winds past the country club and the site of the old Taylor Grist Mill.
How easily memory’s fade and politicians trample over the landmarks respecting citizens that made substantial contributions to their community in their day. My grandfather lived to see the dirt road running through his property paved by the State of Alabama in the 1970’s. He donated all of the right-of-way to the state, and it is identified on maps as county road 97, and also known as John Rushing Road.
I’m wondering if my family would be willing to let the politicians name our Grandpa’s road for Governor Schwarznegger for one week each year as a consolation prize?
It seems like a good idea to me…
Useless Information
My blog reading and writing has suffered this week for a variety of reasons—some technical and some organic. Among the organic reasons is our brisk social calendar that began with opening night for “A Christmas Carol” last Friday and continuing through a series of seasonal parties almost every evening.
Tonight was the first night we got to stay home in nearly a week, so we celebrated by sitting around in our pajamas and consuming half a dish of stuffed cabbage rolls that Pat and I threw together for the first time as tag-team cooks.
On the technical front, the Mustang is spending the night in the shop, but we’ve been reassured that the idle problem was a minor glitch that could be repaired for less than $100.
The wireless network “issues” are still driving me crazy, and my notebook still refuses to connect to the internet although it can see the local area network. I’ll be darned if I can figure out what I did to cause such problems.
I looking at buying a bigger hammer…
I’m so delinquent with my reading that I didn’t realize that my blog buddy Rich over at Blind Chick Racing had tagged me with a “Meme” called “Useless Information.”
In order to show a little respect to Rich and not upset Glen Reynolds and the other blog gods over at Pajamas Media, I feel obligated to follow suit—so here goes:
Here are ten things about me that will have no impact on the world whatsoever:
1. I am the proud owner of 18 harmonicas, tuned in 11 different keys (A,B, Bb, C,D,E,F, low G, high G, A minor, and E minor) and I can play 17 of them quite well.
2. The chromatic C harp that was given to me by my lawyer friend Chuck Camp (Chuck died of heart problems in 2000) is over 40 years old and it still escapes my ability to master it. Someone call John Popper or Lee Oscar…
3. I’ve only owned seven cars in my 31 years of driving—a 1974 Honda Civic, 1977 Chevy Camaro, a 1972 Audi Fox, a 1984 Chevy Blazer, a 1984 Pontiac Fiero (don’t EVEN get me started complaining about that car,) a 1989 Nissan Maxima, and my 1995 Chevy Suburban that has over 181K miles on it today. I like to drive my cars until the wheels fall off, and none were ever totaled in an accident.
4. I’ve had a number of speeding tickets in my day when I was young and stupid, but I haven’t gotten a speeding ticket since 1993 and I haven’t had an auto accident since 1985.
5. I can take a pile of balsa wood, some tissue paper, and twenty feet of ¼ rubber band and build a model airplane that will take off and fly out of sight. No kit, no drawings, just a sharp knife and some super glue. I could do it when I was ten years old also.
6. I’ve climbed into the cockpit of a Cessna 152 and flown around for a couple of hours by myself. “Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man…LANDING is the first.”
7. I’ve never jumped out of a perfectly good airplane (skydiving). I learned how to fly so that I could stay safely inside and LAND the dang thing if I needed to.
8. I’ve captained a 21’ boat on a fishing expedition 18 miles offshore into the Gulf of Mexico and returned to the same marina hours later, much to the surprise of my girlfriend Pat.
9. I’ve flown to the Bahamas in a 1948 Grumman Mallard seaplane, landing and taking off on the water.
10. On that same Bahamas trip I made two dives in the “Shark Dive Rodeo.” In this event, they feed the sharks a giant square block of frozen fish parts suspended between a buoy and an anchor on the bottom in the sand. Picture 150 sharks and 70 divers hanging out in close proximity. No one got bit, and I have the video tape to prove that I was there.
And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen…
Ten things about me that have absolutely no impact on anybody, anywhere, any time.
We now return you to our regularly scheduled program already in progress…
Tonight was the first night we got to stay home in nearly a week, so we celebrated by sitting around in our pajamas and consuming half a dish of stuffed cabbage rolls that Pat and I threw together for the first time as tag-team cooks.
On the technical front, the Mustang is spending the night in the shop, but we’ve been reassured that the idle problem was a minor glitch that could be repaired for less than $100.
The wireless network “issues” are still driving me crazy, and my notebook still refuses to connect to the internet although it can see the local area network. I’ll be darned if I can figure out what I did to cause such problems.
I looking at buying a bigger hammer…
I’m so delinquent with my reading that I didn’t realize that my blog buddy Rich over at Blind Chick Racing had tagged me with a “Meme” called “Useless Information.”
In order to show a little respect to Rich and not upset Glen Reynolds and the other blog gods over at Pajamas Media, I feel obligated to follow suit—so here goes:
Here are ten things about me that will have no impact on the world whatsoever:
1. I am the proud owner of 18 harmonicas, tuned in 11 different keys (A,B, Bb, C,D,E,F, low G, high G, A minor, and E minor) and I can play 17 of them quite well.
2. The chromatic C harp that was given to me by my lawyer friend Chuck Camp (Chuck died of heart problems in 2000) is over 40 years old and it still escapes my ability to master it. Someone call John Popper or Lee Oscar…
3. I’ve only owned seven cars in my 31 years of driving—a 1974 Honda Civic, 1977 Chevy Camaro, a 1972 Audi Fox, a 1984 Chevy Blazer, a 1984 Pontiac Fiero (don’t EVEN get me started complaining about that car,) a 1989 Nissan Maxima, and my 1995 Chevy Suburban that has over 181K miles on it today. I like to drive my cars until the wheels fall off, and none were ever totaled in an accident.
4. I’ve had a number of speeding tickets in my day when I was young and stupid, but I haven’t gotten a speeding ticket since 1993 and I haven’t had an auto accident since 1985.
5. I can take a pile of balsa wood, some tissue paper, and twenty feet of ¼ rubber band and build a model airplane that will take off and fly out of sight. No kit, no drawings, just a sharp knife and some super glue. I could do it when I was ten years old also.
6. I’ve climbed into the cockpit of a Cessna 152 and flown around for a couple of hours by myself. “Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man…LANDING is the first.”
7. I’ve never jumped out of a perfectly good airplane (skydiving). I learned how to fly so that I could stay safely inside and LAND the dang thing if I needed to.
8. I’ve captained a 21’ boat on a fishing expedition 18 miles offshore into the Gulf of Mexico and returned to the same marina hours later, much to the surprise of my girlfriend Pat.
9. I’ve flown to the Bahamas in a 1948 Grumman Mallard seaplane, landing and taking off on the water.
10. On that same Bahamas trip I made two dives in the “Shark Dive Rodeo.” In this event, they feed the sharks a giant square block of frozen fish parts suspended between a buoy and an anchor on the bottom in the sand. Picture 150 sharks and 70 divers hanging out in close proximity. No one got bit, and I have the video tape to prove that I was there.
And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen…
Ten things about me that have absolutely no impact on anybody, anywhere, any time.
We now return you to our regularly scheduled program already in progress…
Thursday, December 15, 2005
All I Want For Christmas...
Is For Everything To Work...
Now, in addition to computer network problems, I find that Pat's Mustang won't idle.
Am I cursed or a jinx or what?
The engine starts and runs as long as I keep my foot on the gas pedal, but if I take my foot off the pedal--it dies. I'm hoping that it is a sensor problem with the fuel injection system that can be fixed with the appropriate $70 diagnostic fee. I'm stuck trying to decide between the independent mechanics over at "Island Automotive" and limping across the causeway to the Ford dealer.
Now, in addition to computer network problems, I find that Pat's Mustang won't idle.
Am I cursed or a jinx or what?
The engine starts and runs as long as I keep my foot on the gas pedal, but if I take my foot off the pedal--it dies. I'm hoping that it is a sensor problem with the fuel injection system that can be fixed with the appropriate $70 diagnostic fee. I'm stuck trying to decide between the independent mechanics over at "Island Automotive" and limping across the causeway to the Ford dealer.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
The Torture Continues
Why can't I just enjoy the holidays like everybody else does?
We got to go to the Blackwater party last night and had a GREAT time with a "who's who" list of locals--good food, lots of drinks, and we already knew dozens of people and met dozens more.
My friend Kim, the singer, was doing a few numbers with the band hired to play out on the deck and she invited me and my C harp up on stage to do "Stormy Monday" and a couple of other blues songs for the appreciative crowd. The harmonica wins friends faster than any instrument I've ever played.
When I got home, MY computer still refused to connect to the internet through the wireless network. Then this morning Pat's computer crapped out, but it turned out to be a problem with Adelphia. I'm so paranoid I can barely touch a keyboard or a mouse without worrying about it blowing up in my face.
Anyway--I still have a one computer network right now and I have no idea what to do to remedy the problem but reinstall the whole system tonight after hours...
If you never hear from me again--you'll know what happened...
We got to go to the Blackwater party last night and had a GREAT time with a "who's who" list of locals--good food, lots of drinks, and we already knew dozens of people and met dozens more.
My friend Kim, the singer, was doing a few numbers with the band hired to play out on the deck and she invited me and my C harp up on stage to do "Stormy Monday" and a couple of other blues songs for the appreciative crowd. The harmonica wins friends faster than any instrument I've ever played.
When I got home, MY computer still refused to connect to the internet through the wireless network. Then this morning Pat's computer crapped out, but it turned out to be a problem with Adelphia. I'm so paranoid I can barely touch a keyboard or a mouse without worrying about it blowing up in my face.
Anyway--I still have a one computer network right now and I have no idea what to do to remedy the problem but reinstall the whole system tonight after hours...
If you never hear from me again--you'll know what happened...
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
I Need An Exorcist (Or A Witch Doctor)
Blogging is still light, and here's the deal...
I went downstairs about 10:00 this morning to finish installing a 802.11G connection for my friend "Bucky" (Dartmouth class of 1942) so he can start using our wireless network and dump his slow dial-up crap.
He's been paying AOL 22 bucks a month to log on twice a week to check e-mail and look at a few stock prices, and we already have the connection and his family provided the adapter and I THOUGHT that I could add an additional PC to our WEP encrypted wireless system in about 15 minutes.
I was wrong, Wrong, WRong WROng, WRONg, WRONG.
In addition to forgeting how to "clone" our MAC address, for some reason, now MY notebook won't access the internet (it still connects to the wireless network) and Pat's wireless mouse decided to take a vacation while she was on a two hour conference call this afternoon. I had to run in and connect a USB mouse to get her through the balance of the meeting.
I'm ready to throw the whole pile of electronics into the lake beside the 18th fareway and go back to writing paper letters and reading the newspaper, but instead I think I'll let myself cool off while we attend a party hosted by the owners of Blackwater Grill.
A little food, a few cocktails, maybe some wine...then I'll bring my lugwrench inside and pound a little sense into these dang infernal machines.
Wish me luck...
Blogging is still light, and here's the deal...
I went downstairs about 10:00 this morning to finish installing a 802.11G connection for my friend "Bucky" (Dartmouth class of 1942) so he can start using our wireless network and dump his slow dial-up crap.
He's been paying AOL 22 bucks a month to log on twice a week to check e-mail and look at a few stock prices, and we already have the connection and his family provided the adapter and I THOUGHT that I could add an additional PC to our WEP encrypted wireless system in about 15 minutes.
I was wrong, Wrong, WRong WROng, WRONg, WRONG.
In addition to forgeting how to "clone" our MAC address, for some reason, now MY notebook won't access the internet (it still connects to the wireless network) and Pat's wireless mouse decided to take a vacation while she was on a two hour conference call this afternoon. I had to run in and connect a USB mouse to get her through the balance of the meeting.
I'm ready to throw the whole pile of electronics into the lake beside the 18th fareway and go back to writing paper letters and reading the newspaper, but instead I think I'll let myself cool off while we attend a party hosted by the owners of Blackwater Grill.
A little food, a few cocktails, maybe some wine...then I'll bring my lugwrench inside and pound a little sense into these dang infernal machines.
Wish me luck...
Light Posting
One loaf of Banana bread (baked)…plus
One Christmas tree (bought)…plus
One Christmas wreath (hand made)…plus
Dinner for five (chicken piccata)…plus
A normal night’s sleep…equals…
No blogging on Monday.
I’ll try to do better today (Tuesday.)
One Christmas tree (bought)…plus
One Christmas wreath (hand made)…plus
Dinner for five (chicken piccata)…plus
A normal night’s sleep…equals…
No blogging on Monday.
I’ll try to do better today (Tuesday.)
