Laughing In The Face of Death

Well, the good news is that Hurricane Dennis isn't coming anywhere near St. Simons this afternoon, and the 5:00 PM National Weather Service forecast track has the storm moving ever so slightly back to the west, AWAY from my mother's property.

We have had a bit of excitement here this afternoon, I had to do an emergency delivery. Here is a picture of the insturments I used:


Surgical instruments...

And here is a picture of the results of my efforts (the delivery took almost four hours):


I'ts a Boy...er...I mean a Pork Butt

I'm a proud father of a bouncing 5 pound baby Pork Butt. Don't you wish that you were me?

Here, have a Cigar...

It's Getting Interesting

Dennis

Hurricane Prepairdness Checklist

It’s hard to not be serious when something as dangerous as a hurricane is approching your house. What puzzles me is how crazy people can get if they happen to live in a given hurricane’s “cone of death” and some of the insane things they do in the name of “Hurricane Prepairdness.”

The grocery store is a good place to observe this insanity. Take bread, for instance. When the TV says a storm is coming, what appears to be perfectly normal people will jump in their cars, drive to the grocery store, and buy an entire shopping cart full of loaves of bread.

What are they going to do with all that bread, make toast for two hundred?

Afterwards, the bread isle in the store will be empty, except posibly for one package of stale hotdog buns or a tray of smashed English Muffins that excaped the hoard’s attention.

Lowes or Home Depot is another place to witness unusual behavior. Everyone knows that generators and plywood are hot items with an approaching hurricane, but the savy store manager can sell anything if they place it on a special “Hurricane Display.”

People will buy rubber gloves and suppositories if you market them properly with 100 MPH winds bearing down on the nearby coastal areas. “Hey Mildred...snap... bend over…what?...I don’t know why, they were on sale…we can't waste them... com' on...just bend over darn it.”

As a public service, last fall I put together my own “Hurrican Prepairdness List” and published it here in the blog. Since I only had about three readers back then and virtually no one saw it, I thought that I would dust it off and offer a new and improved list for your use. Here it is:


PRIOR TO THE APPROACH OF A HURRICANE…

Do listen to local radio and TV weather broadcasts every few hours in order to stay up to date on the storm's location, forecast storm track, and any evacuation orders that may be issued.

Don't go to the local bar a few hours before the storm roars into your neighborhood and get shitfaced drinking beer and Kamikaze shots or a half dozen Long Island Iced Teas before heading home to tackle hanging that truck load of plywood you just bought at Home Depot over your windows and doors.

Do put together a basic hurricane supply kit including drinking water, prescription medicines, first aid kit, canned foods, flashlight and spare batteries, battery powered radio, etc.

Don't think that you're prepared when your hurricane kit simply includes a twelve-pack of warm beer, a fifth of tequilla, a few half burned candles from the last storm warning , an old Bic lighter, and an inflatable raft with one broken oar.

Do go to the grocery store to purchase enough non-perishable foodstuffs to support yourself and your loved ones for three to five days.

Don’t go to the convienance store and spend all of your available cash on scratch off lottery tickets and beef jerky.

Do gas up the car or SUV and move it to high ground prior to the local roads being closed.

Don't venture out during the storm onto flooded roads in high winds at break kneck speeds in an attempt to recreate Lt. Dan's hurricane scene in the movie "Forrest Gump."

Do move your boat onto it's trailer and secure it in a safe storage area. Relocate larger boats away from docks, pileings, and other boats and double/triple anchor them in place.

Don't think you are going to weather out the storm on board your boat with your warm twelve-pack and fifth of tequilla. (You will end up dead or be seen on CNN by all of your friends and family--you'll be the one hanging by a cable underneath a Coast Guard helicopter.)

I think that just about covers everything.

More Hurricane Hyperventilating

Well folks, it’s that time of year again—Hurricane Season. Not only is it the season for hurricanes to develop, but we actually have big ‘ole Hurricane Dennis sliding back out into the Gulf of Mexico after crossing Cuba last night.

I think that we can thank Fidel Castro and the rest of the Cuban people for helping downgrade the storm from a category IV to category I overnight. I guess it takes a lot of energy out of a storm blowing all the tin roofs from over the heads of a country full of poor repressed people and knocking down all the sugar cane crops while their iron fisted dictator smokes Cohiba Cigars and sips fine brandy in his big leather recliner, watching The Weather Channel.

Speaking of The Weather Channel, I’m watching as I write this piece and they just reported that Clenfuegos, Cuba had reported a 149 MPH wind gust overnight and that 85% of the power lines were down. I guess the Cubans will probably be camping outside their destroyed homes and cooking on campfires until sometime next year. The good news for the US is that the storm not only lost energy over Cuba, but it also made a big jog to the west, thereby greatly reducing the brunt of force to be absorbed by the Florida Keys.

I bet that Jim “The Weather God” Cantori is losing sleep tonight looking at his roadmap, trying to figure out which beach in Florida he’s going to inhabit with his mobile camera crew this weekend. An interesting question occurs to me: “Can you have a mobile camera crew in Mobile, Alabama?”

If you happen to reside in what my fellow blogger Steve over at Hog on Ice calls “the cone of death”—the projected path of the storm—it is easy to appreciate the detail provided by The Weather Channel. If you live in Muscatine, Iowa or Palm Springs, California I bet that you wish the whole thing would go away like the missing-chick Natalee Holloway Aruba story.

Meanwhile, I suspect that the executives at Home Depot and Lowes are gleefully rubbing their hands together in anticipation of the profits generated by selling every sheet of plywood, tarp, flashlight, battery, and generator in North America in the next two days.

What kills me is, other than expendable items like batteries, how can anyone in the entire state of Florida (or any other coastal state, for that matter) not already own plywood, tarps, flashlights, and generators? What do they do with these items after they buy them each year, dump them offshore or sell them on E-Bay after hurricane season?

We are still delinquent here on St. Simons in some of our preparations. If I lived in a house instead of a condo I would have already purchased my own generator and several large tarps. Did you know that they sell a tarp that is 100’ x 100’ if you are willing to spend upwards of $500? With a tarp that size, who needs a house?

Any way, due to our limited storage area we have had to restrict our hurricane supplies to things like flashlights, extra batteries, a portable radio, and extra drinking water. The water here is basically undrinkable, so an outage due to a storm would only effect our bathing and dishwashing habits

The real problem is that where we live we are 4’ below the flood plain. One might think that’s not a problem since we live in an upstairs condo, but we have another problem—Pat’s Mustang and my Suburban. I’ve already figured out that the Brunswick airport is the highest ground in coastal Glynn County, so if Pat’s working in Chicago, and I’m feeling frisky when the next storm approaches, I might just move the cars over to the airport and try riding the storm out here if it is only a category I or II storm. If a big storm approaches, you’ll find me hanging out at the Holiday Inn in Jessup, Georgia else at my mother’s house in south Alabama.

Regarding my mother’s house in south Alabama, it (and my mother and her cat) are directly in the center of the aforementioned “cone of death” for Hurricane Dennis. I’ll basically be camped out today in front of the TV, watching the aforementioned “Weather God” Cantori, and checking out the National Weather Service Website to follow Dennis’ progress.

If the storm doesn’t continue moving westward and looks like it will make landfall near Panama City or Ft. Walton, I will be jumping in the car and heading toward my mom’s house to assist with the damage evaluation, repairs, and clean-up. The wind speed at her house is only reduced by about 20 MPH below the coastal wind speed when a storm comes ashore in the panhandle.

I wish that no one had to deal with this storm, but I selfishly hope that it hits somewhere west of Mobile, Alabama.

Wish us luck…

It's About Time

The Washington Times reports that the British Muslims wasted no time in condeming the explosions in the London transportation infarstructure yesterday.

LONDON -- Muslim leaders in Britain yesterday were swift to condemn a series of deadly bomb blasts in London and they appealed to Britons not to single out their community for reprisals.

The leaders also made an unprecedented appeal to the estimated 1.7 million Muslims living in Britain to tip off the police about who had carried out the bombings.

"These evil deeds makes victims of us all," the Muslim Council of Britain said.

"The evil people who planned and carried out these series of explosions in London want to demoralize us as a nation and divide us as a people.

"All of us must unite in helping the police to capture these murderers."

As I said earlier, I want to hear some of these proported non-violent Muslims publicly coming out against the terrorism and violence.

This is a good start.

Can't Live With Them...

Can't Live Without Them

My talk show host idol Neal Boortz has made the statement that if you look at wars and fighting in general all over the world, at the heart of the conflict there is usually a Muslim involved.

The guys over at Powerline pointed out that the Sun has published this map showing the locations where more than 4000 people have been killed since 1993—all by members of the lovely, peaceful religion of Islam.





MUSLIMS, can’t live with them…and if things keep going the way they are...

we most DEFINITLY can live without them.

What Might Have Been—And What Could Be

I’m think that I finally understand that, if it weren’t for having the experiences gained from living for 45 years, I wouldn’t know anything worth saying out loud that actually means anything to anyone but me in the “big picture” view of the world.

My writing falls in this same category. Do you know what I mean?

No?

Let me digress…

I was born in south Alabama back in the days when there were only 49 states in the union, Dwight Eisenhower was president, and George Corley Wallace had just recently suffered his first political defeat in the 1958 election for Governor of Alabama.

George was from Clio, Alabama--just down the road from Ozark where I was born. He was a Boxer in high school, a decorated fighter pilot in WWII, a lawyer, a judge, a Alabama State Representative, a two term Alabama Governor, and a candidate for US president in 1972 when some asshole named Arthur Bremer decided that, rather than let the American people decide the election by voting, he would end George’s candidacy in the parking lot of a shopping center in Laurel, Maryland by shooting him four times, relegating Mr. Wallace to living the rest of his life in a wheelchair, paralyzed, with a colostomy bag.

I think that option sucks--being considered an outspoken pseudo-racist doesn’t warrant being shot in the spine. George actually wasn’t a racist—he was just a politician following public opinion in the region of the country he lived in. He later apologized for is public statements made in the early 1960’s, and in spite of his injuries and disabilities, he was a visible figure—loved or reviled—for another 26 years in Alabama. I actually got to meet him and shake his hand in 1976.

Regarding extreme political activism, I’m also not a supporter of our current policies of abortion on demand, but I think that blowing up abortion clinics and shooting abortion doctors seems a bit extreme to me. A little more thinking and education and a little less sitting around smoking weed or crack cocaine would go a long way toward solving these problems. Holding a bible in one hand and a handgun in the other doesn’t, in my opinion, make you a Christian, in spite of what your preacher says. God has a sense of humor, and lightning does strike twice in the same place…so all of you “anti-abortion activists” need to watch your step.

Having said all of that, I have to address yesterday’s “activism activities” by the lovely, peaceful, European Muslims. I am seriously ready to hear some earnest denouncing of these type activities by major Muslim groups both domestically and abroad. I know that every Arab and Muslim isn’t directly responsible for these kinds of events, but I have little sympathy for the “talking heads” shown on TV sitting around complaining about the risks of “backlash” and “hate crimes” that might be committed against innocent Muslims in the future. “Live by the sword…die by the sword” comes to mind in this situation.

I think that their (the Muslim Terrorists) choice of England as a target, just like NY City in 2001, was a serious mistake—or at least a bad case of underestimation. The Brit’s that I know are some of the most hard headed, opinionated (in a good way) people ever and history dictates that a little hardship will not push them away from their goals and beliefs.

Just watch our domestic media, the liberals, the Democrats like Pelosi and Kennedy, and the international socialists wrestle with this situation. I predict that, following a period of silence and/or after issuing rote-like statements of support and consolation, they will all start gnashing their teeth and complaining about how the attacks are our own fault, and some will complain that the attacks unfairly add support to “Bush’s war on terror.”

Poor Bastards, when will they all get a clue?

The Rain In Spain Falls Mainly On The Plain (or Train)

I’m sitting here writing another piece about the London Bombings at 3:48 AM when FOX News reports that Euston Station in London has been evacuated because of a “suspicious” package.

Some idiot “Professional Journalist” asshole that they (FOX News) were interviewing when this latest news story broke had just uttered some words to the effect that “the war on terrorism was so unfocused and unjust with prison abuses at Abu Grab-ass and Gitmo that these kind of terrorist attacks were to be expected as a result.”

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT ANYONE CAN BE SO IGNORANT AS TO THINK THAT THE TERRORISTS WOULD ACTUALLY GO AWAY AND LEAVE EVERYONE IN EUROPE AND THE US ALONE IF WE WOULD JUST PULL OUR TROOPS OUT OF IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN AND LET ALL THE WAR PRISONERS GO?

The Spanish thought that way after they got their train bombings last year...

Is that how you think?

Those That Fail To Learn From History...

Are Forced To Re-live It.

I guess that I am frequently guilty of poking fun at Europe in general with some of my disingenuous, ill thought out rhetoric. One might also say that Great Britain in general, and England specifically, is included in my own Redneck description of what is embodied by the term Europe and the politicts thereof.

I would take exception to this characterization, however.

I was a big fan of Margaret Thatcher during her term as British Prime Minister, even though I didn’t see eye to eye with her on her domestic and social issues. Since I didn’t live in England, I guess that you could say that that was England’s business, but her position on the world stage and generous support of President Ronald Reagan more than made up for her liberal socialist leanings inside her own borders.

Likewise, Tony Blair’s support of the USA and President Bush’s international policies in the Middle East has yielded a firestorm of contempt from the British and world media, but Mr. Blair has stayed the course and recently won re-election.

The people have spoken.

My Blog Idols over at Powerline pointed out these amazingly prophetic words uttered by another beliegured Britton, Sir Winston Churchill just as Great Britain was being deluded into thinking that sympathy and consolation could prevent further conflict with the Germans.

Here is an excerpt prefacing Churchill’s statement, along with part of his speech:

On September 29, 1938, Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain flew to Munich, Bavaria, Germany, to meet the German Chancellor, Adolf Hitler. He returned to London on October 1st waving the famous piece of paper which he proudly claimed contained the agreement pledging that Germany and Britain would never go to war again, thus guaranteeing "peace with honour."

The public was overjoyed but Churchill, participating in the House of Commons debate on the resolution "that this house approves the policy of His Majesty's Government by which was averted in the recent crisis and supports their efforts to secure a lasting peace," charged that the Government had "sustained a total and unmitigated defeat," and that "a disaster of the first magnitude has befallen Great Britain and France."

"And do not suppose this is the end," he warned. "This is only the beginning of the reckoning. This is only the first sip, the first foretaste of a bitter cup which will be proffered to us year by year unless by a supreme recovery of moral health and martial vigour, we arise again and take our stand for freedom as in olden time."

I wish I could write and speak like that…

Chicken Shiite--Updated

I woke up this morning to find that the lovely Islamofascists are at it again in London:

"In the new statement, the group (The Secret Organization of al-Qaida in Europe) said "the heroic mujahedeen carried out a blessed attack in London, and now Britain is burning with fear and terror, from north to south, east to west."

"We warned the British government and the British people repeatedly. We have carried out our promise and carried out a military attack in Britain after great efforts by the heroic mujahedeen over a long period to ensure its success."

"We continue to warn the governments of Denmark and Italy and all crusader governments that they will receive the same punishment if they do not withdraw their troops from Iraq and Afghanistan," the statement went on."

Tony Blair has headed back to London from the G-8 conference and will probably catch hell from some of his fellow Brits in Parliment, but I hope he hangs in there with us.

Fox News has spent the entire day showing photos of the city and is now reporting 37 dead and at least 700 injured. I expect the death toll to rise sharply in the next 24 hours.

I heard Rush Linbaugh say that yesterday the little ex California hippy chick turned House Minority leader Nancy Pelosi made the claim that terrorisim is a direct result of the war in Iraq and Afghanistan . She wants a policy change...

Today she has this to say about the bombings:

“I extend my condolences to the victims and their families of the horrific and senseless terrorist attacks in London. The thoughts and prayers of all Americans are with the people of Great Britain.

“The actions of cowards against innocent people will not prevail; our resolve to fight terrorism around the world will not be deterred. We join President Bush, Prime Minister Blair, and all the leaders of the G-8 Summit in fighting terrorism."

Isn't it amazing how Ms. Pelosi can change her tune from one day to the next?

It's Their Job

I don’t have any links to embed in this blog posting because I have all I need buried right inside my ever aging, ever graying, ever balding head.

I would like to point out that the current bunch of pansy assed, cry-baby, whiners that we call the United States Senate have a job to do, and in my expert opinion they’re doing a damn poor job of it so far.

They went to the trouble to raise campaign funds, run for the office, and now they are getting paid nearly two hundred thousand dollars each just for sitting around Washington DC nine months out of the year drinking expensive whiskey, eating goose liver and fish eggs, and they have the audacity to try to conduct their business in public by bitching and complaining about what they do, rather than going behind closed doors like professionals and getting the job done.

IBM or Motorola would fire a board of directors that were paralyzed with stupidity like much of this bunch, Democrats AND Republicans.

Excuse me if I say it this way, but I think that they should shut the %$#&@ up and get on with the business of passing some laws and follow the rules and laws that already exist when it comes to president Bush’s judicial appointments.

Hey Nancy, Harry, and Teddy…KISS IT, BABY…

Does any one else know what I mean?

Shucking and Jiving with the Weather

Well, in case you live in a cave or otherwise don’t watch television, Hurricane Season is off to a roaring, early start this summer.

I ask that everyone that doesn’t enjoy our geographic proximity to the Atlantic and Florida Gulf Coasts wish us all good luck, if you will.

I, personally, have a broad range of interests in the goings-on in the southeastern tropical weather department.

We currently live one hundred yards from the salt marsh connected through rivers and creeks to the Atlantic Ocean less than two miles away, four feet below the official Army Corps of Engineers flood plain, and I have several rental properties situated below the flood plain in the nearby city of Brunswick, Georgia that could be at risk.

Likewise, my lovely mother resides in southern Alabama within one hundred miles of the Florida Gulf Coast and is at slightly less at risk from flooding, but she has way too much prior experience with high winds from Hurricane Eloise in the 1970’s (100 mph) and survived a solid pounding by Hurricane Opal (120 mph) in 1996. Most recently, hurricane Francis trashed her property last fall and left her running the generator a few hours each day for a week while the local electrical company repaired the power lines.

Having grown up with hurricanes as a yearly natural phenomena, I tend to look at them with a dispassionate attitude until the last minute when our modern weather forecasting can actually tell me where a given storm is going to make landfall. We had a total of FIVE storms pass within 100 miles of our home last August and September and I expect that this year is going to at least exciting—in a not so nice way.

In the words of Lieutenant Dan in the movie Forrest Gump…”is that all you got?”

See What Things Are Coming To?

Think about this situation with me for a minute.

You are minding your own business after dinner in a local business district.

While walking along the shoreline of the adjacent river, you notice a person in obvious distress in the water.

You’re a strong, confident swimmer.

Do you:

A) Jump in the river and save the person’s life…or

B) Stand on the river bank with your thumb stuck in a bodily orifice, wringing your hands, saying “Oh My My” while waiting on the authorities to arrive.

According to this news story 48 year old Dave Newman chose option A and as a result saved Abed Duamni’s life, but the “authorities” arrested Mr. Newman afterwards for “interfering” with their rescue efforts.

Dave Newman, 48, disobeyed repeated orders by emergency personnel to leave the water, police said. He was charged with interfering with public duties.

"I was amazed," Newman said Monday after his release on $2,000 bail. "I had a very uncomfortable night after saving that guy's life. He thanked me for it in front of the police, and then they took me to jail."

I think that this might just give new meaning to the old 60’s term referring to police officers as “PIGS.”

There's A Fool Born Every Minute

Try to help me understand this story about a Russian Astrologer suing NASA.

“NASA’s mission that sent a space probe smashing into a comet raised more than cosmic dust — it also brought a lawsuit from a Russian astrologer.

Marina Bai has sued the U.S. space agency, claiming the Deep Impact probe that punched a crater into the comet Tempel 1 late Sunday "ruins the natural balance of forces in the universe," the newspaper Izvestia reported Tuesday. A Moscow court has postponed hearings on the case until late July, the paper said.

Scientists say the crash did not significantly alter the comet's orbit around the sun and said the experiment does not pose any danger to Earth.

The probe's comet crash sent up a cloud of debris that scientists hope to examine to learn how the solar system was formed.

Bai is seeking damages totaling $300 million — the approximate equivalent of the mission's cost — for her "moral sufferings," Izvestia said, citing her lawyer Alexander Molokhov. She earlier told the paper that the experiment would "deform her horoscope." "

At first I thought that the headline had a typo and that a Russian ASTRONOMER was suing NASA.

Nooooooooo sir, it’s an Astrologer—talk about a high degree of credibility.

The lawsuit raises a couple of important issues in my mind, stupid little things like "who owns Comets in the first place?"

Can I buy one (a comet) on E-Bay?

Next, who the hell here besides the Russians believes that they have the right to sue NASA in a Russian court. If the Russians want to look into issues involving NASA, why don't they look into the billions of dollars of our tax money that that have been embezzled and miss-spent by Russian Officials , dollars intended to be used in constructing modules for the International Space Station.

The only person more intellectually challenged than the “Astrologer” in this story is Alexander “Cocktail” Molokhov, the lawyer that is stupid enough to file this case in the first place.

Advice To The Filthy Rich

(And The Terminally Stupid)

I just got home from the grocery store, doing what was supposed to be a simple “fill in” trip like I do two or three days a week. My “big trips” usually involve driving all the way across the causeway from the island to the mainland to visit…gasp…WAL-MART—once every ten days or two weeks.

Oh my God what a freak show Wal-Mart can be much of the time. Does someone hand out the clothes and do the hair of these people and send them to the Jerry Springer Show if they win the wardrobe or hairdo prize at Wal-Mart? Maybe I’m just being snobbish myself, but it is all I can do to not laugh out loud at some of the circumstances and people I’ve seen wandering the isles at Wal-Mart.

Likewise, it seems that there is an equal proportion of snobby, self important people that live here around us on the island that have to put on a stupendous show when they arrive for the weekends and holidays and are forced to rub elbows with the great unwashed masses, including myself, in our local Harris Teeter.

They do things like insist on parking on the curb rather than waiting their turns for a parking space, and park their voluminous butts and carts in the middle of the isle and glare at you when you politely ask to pass by after 30 seconds of mindless dithering. I recently watched a woman pick up and carefully study the same dozen packs of chicken for at least eight or ten minutes while I spun around in circles and made side trips to pick up other items in an effort to avoid disturbing her ritual.

Today the tittering, ill mannered, older teenaged children of our seasonal visitors, complete with college fraternity T-shirts, got on my last nerve while in the grocery checkout line. There were five little college aged girls, each dressed like French Whores (or Brittany Spears) standing in front of the only self serve register terminal that is designed for people like me that are buying fifty dollars worth of stuff and actually KNOW how to operate a fly swatter, let alone a self serve register terminal.

These silly bitches were each buying 3 dollars worth of junk food and paying with a debit or credit card. They had obviously never operated anything nearly as complicated as the Harris Teeter equipment because the register attendant that was supposed to be overseeing the self-serve terminals basically held their lavishly painted hands and could hardly hold her tongue through the process.

This babbling group of five had already started checking out while I waited and I managed to move to the other smaller terminal and ring up $49 worth of stuff while they giggled and tittered and mindlessly wasted everyone’s time, instead of getting their frilly asses into the express line or the full serve registers where they belonged.

Excuse me while I go fix myself a stout drink and light the grill to cook dinner--

I think that my head might explode.

F.Y.I.

Over the next few weeks there is going to be an extreme amount of yelling and screaming in the media about President Bush's nomination to replace US Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor.

Go take a read at this Slate story outlining some of the potential candidates qualifiactions and be prepared to intellectually slap the hell out of that liberal idiot bothering you at work or mindlessly blithering about the subject in the local bar or restaurant.

I enjoy winning intellectual arguments with facts, figures, and something that the left hates...

DETAILS.


What is your definition of "extreme circumstances?"

In Honor Of Those Who Served

(and those whom abuse and refuse to recognize the privileges of freedom…and the responsibilities that go with it…)

July 4th, 1776…How things have changed here in North America since that time.

I don’t agree with everything that goes on in this country any more than I agree with everything our government does in my name or on my behalf, but I darned sure appreciate the sacrifice made by the 200,000 future Americans that fought in the Revolutionary War, the 4,435 that died and the 6,188 that were wounded in the fighting.

Then there are the other millions that have been drafted and volunteered for military service since that time, many of which were killed or wounded.

I don’t wear a uniform any more, but I’m still fighting for the cause that they fought for, and for other people’s right to be STUPID or IGNORANT or be COMMUNISTS or SOCIALISTS.

Just go do it some place else—far, far away from me…

And take Ted Kennedy and the UN with you if you will.

Forget What The Truth Is…

“We Know Better”

I hate people that call themselves “advocates”, particularly “consumer” advocates.

Most ”consumer advocates” think that you are too stupid for your own good. Their often financially and politically driven, egotistical “advocacy positions” are fueled by emotion and hysteria rather than facts and competently interpreted statistics. Their positions are also funded by cash from well intended donors, those that they can dupe into giving money, and even the Government—both and local and national—pays for “advocates” and other professional busy bodies to meddle in our lives.

Take the 1960’s savior of auto owners everywhere, Ralph “the mouth” Nader, killer of the Chevy Corvair, for example. What a complete, total $#&@ moron Nader is (in my considered opinion.)

Nader wrote the 1965 book ”Unsafe at any speed” that tackled his and other “advocates” perceived “safety issues” with cars manufactured by American companies.

The Corvair was basically run out of the market by consumer reaction to Nader’s allegations, although most of his complaints were moot by the time the book was published in 1965, the year my own family adopted a new white four door Chevy Corvair with an automatic transmission.

We also at that time owned a bright red 1963 Volkswagon convertible, so our family was the poster child for Nader’s hysterical complaints about rear engine automobiles. Of course my mom and dad took a path to ensuring safety that Nader and his ilk always overlook—we obeyed the speed limits and otherwise didn’t operate our motor vehicles like complete ingrates and morons on the highways of south Alabama. In fact, neither car was ever involved in an accident. The Corvair even survived carrying us on a 6,000 plus mile four week adventure from south Alabama to southern California in 1968.

Furthering my theme of consumer "advocates," with the fourth of July upon us I did a Google search on Fireworks Safety and came upon the National Council of Fireworks Safety web site. There I found some interesting numbers, typical of what I find when I personally look into a subject rather than watching TV or reading the newspaper to fin out what I should be worrying about.

Their documents are in PDF format so I can’t accurately reproduce much of the text here without retyping, but essentially they say that fireworks use is up 661% (from 29,000,000 pounds to 221,000,000 pounds) since 1976, but injuries are down to 5 from almost 40 per 100,000 pounds of explosives.

Certainly fireworks safety should be everyone’s concern, but I would like to point out that, no matter what the "advocates" and your government tells you, it is probably more dangerous driving your car to the store to buy your fireworks than it is actually shooting them off on the 4th.

Know what I mean?

Train!

I’m hoping and wishing that everyone out there has a safe, but fun, 4th of July holiday weekend.

Sometimes the concepts of “safe” and “fun” are somewhat mutually exclusive, particularly when you are young.

Our visiting family members are back on the road toward Pennsylvania this afternoon, having survived the rainy weather earlier in the week, days and days of poolside sunshine, tons of my home cooking, and Vinny and Kris even successfully braved the evening rain, traffic, and crowds to attend the Pepsi 400 NASCAR race in Daytona on Saturday night.

Once again surrounded by silence and solitude, I was reading my blog-friend Beth’s blog, She Who Will Be Obeyed, this evening and learned about the Operation Lifesaver Website.

“Operation Lifesaver is a national, non-profit education and awareness program dedicated to ending tragic collisions, fatalities and injuries at highway-rail grade crossings and on railroad rights of way.”

Sounds like a good idea to me. It seems that trains cause more havoc than sharks each year:

According to preliminary Federal Railroad Administration statistics, in 2004 there were:

369 highway-rail grade crossing fatalities.

1,038 highway-rail grade crossing injuries.

480 pedestrian/trespass fatalities.

394 pedestrian/trespass injuries.

I’m embarrassed to report that my ignorant redneck neighbors in Georgia managed to make it into the top seven positions in all four of these categories.

And not to keep beating a dead horse, but isn’t it amazing that the TV and newspaper media have been freaking out and losing their minds over SHARK ATTACKS, when trains kill and injure on average ONE HUNDED TIMES as many people as sharks do each year.

And it’s not like sharks come flying out of crystal clear waters and kill or maim you at home while you are watching TV on your sofa. Likewise, trains rarely jump off of their tracks and run to places like St. Simons Island (where we have no railroad tracks) and cut your arms and head off.

Isn’t that a comforting concept?