Friday, December 29, 2006

That's Gonna Leave A Scar

More Photoshop Insensitivity...Saddam's new look:

I know, I know, I know...I'm so mean.


Public Service

Working Incognito...

On Wednesday night Pat and I helped our friends Bruce & Ski host a pre-nuptial party for the Daughter and soon to be Son Inlaw of some of Bruce's real estate clients.

Your's truely tossed on a tab collar formal shirt and a red bow tie and played the part of BARTENDER.

Here's some photos of the results of the evening:

First there is the snack table:

Here's Ski and Pat and another of our girlfriends...

Here's a staged photo of Ski and the bride's mother mis-behaving...

Bruce & Ski and the proud parents of the Bride yucking it up...

At the end of the evening, this strange guy showed up and scared off all the women...

(That isn't me, by the way)

In the end, a good time was had by all, and I successfully dispensed libations for over thirty people without anyone knowing that I had never done it before.


Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Close Encounters Of The Leaf Blower Kind

The Torture Continues...

Well, we're only back in town for a little less than 48 hours and I've already been tempted to kill three more men wielding leaf blowers in one form or the other.

Within the first FIVE MINUTES of arriving home on Tuesday morning, the morons employed in our own yard crept over to our car while we were inside unloading our luggage and proceeded to blow all of the leaves and rainwater puddled beside the car onto the driver's door and hood.

When I walked back outside they tried to ignore me and act like they didn't know what they had done as they slithered out of sight. Seriously, we'd not been there for FIVE MINUTES, and they couldn't bother to wait so that I could move the car out of their way.

Then, on my way home from the Post Office this afternoon, this other idiot was doing the old "blow it out of my customer's yard into the road" maneuver, wherein the aforementioned rocket scientist lawn maintenance technician considers his task finished when all of the debris left over from his efforts are resting across the road or in someone else's yard.

When I was a kid, we did something called RAKE the leaves and grass clippings up into a pile, then we MOVED them by hand to somewhere else in the yard (like a compost pile) or loaded them into bags and hauled them away.

Not anymore...

That fool didn't even have enough sense to stop blowing everything across the street into the neighbor's yard and move out of the road as I approached.

He made me stop and watch his artistic efforts.

I somehow resisted the urge to hit the throttle and risk spending 20 to life in the Georgia big house for smashing him and his little gasoline powered noise maker flat.

Be advised that if I hit you once...


You'll be dead so you can't sue me...

Just stop it...dammit...

And Then There Were Three

President Gerald Ford Dies...

I was sitting here this morning doing a little reading for a consulting project I'm working on when word came across the news sites that former President Ford has died.

He was 93.

Now we're down to three living former presidents--Carter,Bush 41, and Clinton.

Regardless of my political and personal differences with some of our former chief executives, I join the rest of the nation in mourning the loss of any of these men that carried the burdens of the world on their shoulders.

RIP President Ford:

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

I’m Back In The Saddle On The Sofa On The Keyboard Again

It Wasn’t An Easy Process

Can you guess where the worst weather in the country was about 2 PM yesterday?

Central Florida.

Can you guess where we were starting to drive from about 1:15 PM yesterday?

Central Florida.

Had it not been for Pat forgetting to pack some important personal items, resulting in us turning around to retrieve them from our host’s home, I would probably be sitting in a hospital or morgue right now because the weather was FIERCE for several hours during what would have been the first half of our four hour drive.

Instead, we caught the local TV news channel’s belated warnings of two tornadoes and a line of severe thunderstorms running up I-4 and I-95 and I made an executive decision to abort our mission and reschedule for a 4:30 AM departure this morning.

We arrived home at 8:30 and after a restful late morning nap and a little internet surfing, and here I am again for your loathing or enjoyment.

We’ve got a short week ahead, then it’s off again to Southern Alabama to visit Mom for a long New Years’ vacation. I’ve got a bunch of work to do on the farm if the weather holds out, but I’ll have to endure her slow dial-up internet service so I’m preparing myself mentally.

All and all a good holiday season thus far, and just like James Brown said it...

"I feel Good, na,na,na,na,na,na,naaa...Like I knew that I would..."

Ever wonder where Mick Jagger and Michael Jackson got their moves?

RIP Mr. Brown


Sunday, December 24, 2006

I Think That I'm Going To Explode

God Save Me From The Food...

You should have seen all of the food we had laying around on the tables here this afternoon and evening.

First a small group of family and friends that were Pittsburgh Steeler fans gathered to watch the team's hopes for a wild card spot in the playoffs vanish with the loss to the Baltimore Ravens. By the time dinner was served I couldn't eat anything because I spent the earlier hours gazing on the colossal boiled shrimp and other smacks.

Now I have to sleep off my stupor and take my turn at the stove tomorrow morning doing cornbread stuffing to go with a 7 pound turkey breast and a small spiral sliced ham that we hauled to town with us on Friday.

I've already taken one nap, and I feel another three or four hours of sleep coming on shortly...and let me again be the first to wish everyone a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Christmas Break

A Little Time Off

As you have probably noticed, I missed a couple of days writing this weekend.

The reasons are twofold. I'm staying in a house full of teenagers, and there is only one phone line and two phone jacks--one in the master bedroom and one in the kitchen.

Blogging from either place is practically impossible, and using the DSL from the kitchen with a cable running across the kitchen and dining room floor to the living room is a pain in the butt for the cooks, thus my delimma.

Any way, just in case I don't get back online until we return home Christmas evening, I hope that everyone has a Merry Christmas and is safe on the roads in their travels

Regards Y'all