Saturday, April 26, 2008

Live...From Knoxville

Tired Home Owners

I hate to admit this morning that I'm not sure which property is more of a pain in the posterior:

my new old house full of boxes in Tennessee,

or my old old slumlord rental renovation property down on the Georgia coast.

Both locals still need tons of work to be considered finished, and after all my time and effort expended to date the only thing standing between me and the completion of my vision(s) is a sweaty aching back and lots of...


Regardless of the daunting task ahead, Pat and Missy the Turbo Pup seem to be quite happy with our new abode.

I'm just happy I have most of a week to finish tearing open boxes before I have to return to the 9 to 5 world.

Oh well, at least I'm not a professional politician or living in a hut Mexico...

Friday, April 25, 2008

Loan Closed

Internet On, Life Still In Boxes

Film on TV a 11 PM...

Word To The Wise

Forced Into Banking On "Professionals"

Saying that Pat, Missy the Turbo Pup, and I are tired would be a gross understatement, but other words escape me this morning.

I have to admit that I am personally more than just a little pissed off over a phone conversation I had yesterday...but I'll get over it because I refuse to let anything get in the way of enjoying the moment.

Any way...after spending the night in the Atlanta suburb of Vinnings, later this morning we have to be in an office located in Tennessee, three hours north of here with a certified check in our hands in order to complete our current business transaction.

For those of you in the fiduciary business, and for those of you considering a lifetime of working for a company which derives it's income from fees and charges relating to the daunting task of holding on to other peoples' hard earned money (that would be banks, savings & loans, and brokerage houses)...

Understand my thinking this morning:

When a so called "customer" (that would be me) calls and explains that they (that would be I) don't have time to stand around in a line at a teller window waiting on someone to type the words "xxx tens of thousands of dollars" (plus or minus) on a carbon laden piece of paper, and you (that would be the "customer non-service representative") tell them (that would be me) that it doesn't matter how much money I have in your "institution"...the only way for them (that would be yours truly, the so called "customer", "depositor," et. al.) to retrieve their (me, my, or I's) money is to stand in the aforementioned line for the aforementioned check to be produced...

In other words, if I want my money I have to stand in line while everyone behind me huffs and puffs and snorts as the bank teller pecks away with two fingers on the typewriter containing the Cashier's Check....

That said, then...

YOU (the aforementioned customer non-service representative ), should not be surprised when I (that would be me, the aforementioned depositor) demand not only the originally desired certified check be delivered, but the remainder of my ENTIRE DEPOSIT BALANCE in your "institution" (that would be the bank, savings and loan, or brokerage house), in CASH, right now, while I sign the form closing the aforementioned account.

"I'll take the entire sum in small bills, and right now you're lucky I don't want it tendered (to me, myself, and I) in Euros and/or Pesos."

You're also fortunate my really big hammer is packed away on a truck with the rest of my sharp, pointy objects...


Thursday, April 24, 2008

Clowns To The Left Of Me...Jokers To My Right

Here I Am...Stuck In The Middle with...WHO?

Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm excited to report that we managed to do it again yesterday.

By "it" I mean overflowing our stuff out of a house and into a giant truck--this time owned by Allied Van Lines--and onto the interstate.

At times "it" wasn't pretty, and if "it" had occurred a month ago I couldn't have done "it" because of my diminished physical condition.

That said, several times I wanted to find an empty corner in one of the bedrooms and lay down in the floor to rest, but my ever increasing Male ego wouldn't let me be completely outdone by the two polite twenty-something kids Allied had sent us to handle the nitty gritty of the proceedings.

The event was over with by a little after five PM yesterday, but in reality I still had have a pile of "unshippable crap" left laying in the garage, along with a perfectly good Chevy Suburban sitting in my driveway.

Now we're faced with wandering back over to the scene of the crime there this morning before jumping on the interstate toward Knoxville while I raise a little Hell with the Auto Transport Company (which shall remain un-named at the present time)about not picking up my truck full of odds and ends yesterday.

Based on this "hiccup" and schedule change, it looks like we'll be driving as far as Atlanta tonight, then blasting on up to Knoxville Friday morning in order to make it to the loan closing table by 10:00 AM.

All I want to know is...WHo's IDEA WAS THIS ALL ANYWAY?

Wednesday, April 23, 2008


Please Excuse Me While I Lose My Mind

We're behind in our packing efforts, and it's my fault because...

well...just because.

The balance of the garage and kitchen still looms, and the truck is supposed to be here at 8:30.

Wish us luck...If you will...


The truck driver got lost and a late start, so thank God we had an extra hour before the handtrucks started flying around.

I think we'll pull this thing off without holding up the process

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

My Personal Earth Day

Help Me Offset Owl Gore's Giant Carbon Footprint...

Good Gosh but things have gotten complicated when it comes to Government regulations affecting what you can and can not pack in your stuff when moving.

The "No Explosives" rule I understand for obvious reasons, but "No batteries?"

No cleaning solutions?

No paint?

What about fingernail polish--does that count as paint?

And what about the contents of the liquor cabinet?

Screw it...since I'm paying the freight tab I'm tossing whatever I want to into a box labeled "photos" and I dare the Feds to say anything to me in route or on the other end.

For those of you that are interested, in addition to spending today filling and tapeing giant cardboard boxes, here's my plans regarding the celebration of "Earth Day"

6:00 AM ... Pass Gas (Done)

6:15 AM... Pass More Gas (very satisfying sound...with a slight hint of last night's steak dinner)

6:31 AM... Take giant swig of water and belch heartily

7:04 AM...Throw away batteries from portable devices

7:30 AM...Dump solvents down kitchen drain

7:59 Am...Start up Suburbans 454 cubic inch gas guzzling V8 engine and let idle a half hour

...and so on and so on...You get the idea.

I say that if enough of us lard assed middle aged, ever greying, ever balding curmudgeons get together today we can teach the tree huggin snot nosed sniveling liberals a lesson or two about the resiliency of our planet.

Man Made Climate Change???

Bah Humbug

Monday, April 21, 2008

Fester & Ooze

My New Company Name?

I'm getting a bit punchy down here on the Georgia coast this afternoon.

Anyone but me notice?

Sunday, April 20, 2008


Any Excuse To Play...

With my packing and CAD projects well in hand, I hope you will understand if I take a few hours out in order to crash the pool over at our old Condo.

Pat and Missy the Turbo Pup have their swim suits on, and I've donned my Cammo shorts (to piss off the local curmudgeons) and I think some sunburn an early season suntan will ensue.