Saturday, October 15, 2005

See What You Missed This Morning?


Another day in paradise Posted by Picasa

Today Is Cancelled Due To A Lack Of Interest

Like most people out there that haven’t attempted to write for a living, I once thought that writing couldn’t be considered to entail doing actual work every day.

Turn’s out that I was wrong.

Don’t misunderstand me here--some days writing is easy because everything you see and hear produces thousands of words in your head. Passages full of feeling (and hopefully meaning for others) erupt and production on the blogs and my books take care of themselves. All I have to do is sit down in front of the computer and “let my fingers do the walking,” to quote the old telephone company Yellow Pages Ads.

Other days writing is work. I’m afraid that it shows in both the quantity and quality of my production.

Today is one of those days, unfortunately.

I guess that it would be easier this morning to list the things that I don’t care about writing more than a few words about. Here they are:

The new James Bond In my mind there will never be an adequate replacement for Roger Moore and Sean Connery.

Avian Flu cock a doodle doo

Then there is a new “Dog Flu”Poochie can worry too…

The warmest September in recored history. More Global Warming hysteria?

The mainstream media can stage photo opportunities but President Bush can’t.

Lewis Farrakhan and his Nation of Islam- As I understand it, it’s already tough enough to be a black American, but these people insist on adding to their troubles a foreign, terrorist supporting religion and rally behind a demagogue nutcase leader that thinks that he has been taken on board of a UFO and given an insight into future US attacks on worldwide Muslims. Did I mention him thinking that “authorities” blew up the levies in New Orleans?

Thomas Sowell This black man is a $%*&#@ genius, thank God he exists. He single handedly offsets the insanity of Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Lewis Farrakhan. I read him every single week.

OK, I've decided that I’m going to take the rest of today off, make a nice brunch, spend the afternoon at the pool enjoying the low humidity and moderate temperatures, and toss together a big batch of pizza dough in order to make home made pizza for dinner. Mushrooms, black olives, artichoke hearts, pepperoni, possibly some fresh baby spinach. Dinner will be about 6:00 PM, if you want to stop by...

Also, look for some photos of sunrise and sunsets from the island this weekend, along with some pictures of the big old full moon that will be rising around 8:00 PM Monday night.

Y’all take care…

(And a hearty thanks for today’s post title goes to my fellow blogger James Hooker)

Friday, October 14, 2005

Liars Figure and Figures Lie—Part 101

Is my fly in your soup, or is your soup on my fly?

OK, you can beat me again.

My keyboard keeps going off half cocked these days.

I just spent 45 minutes posting about the NY Times’ story about marriage and birth trends in America. As I love to do, I picked apart the Times choice of wording and then jumped all over the data showing that 15% of all US births in 2003 were to non-residents.

Being an inquisitive SOB, when I got through writing I went to the US Census Bureau Website to check out the data for myself. I was not happy with what I found there.

As is usual with the NY Times, they apparently didn’t bother to notice that the 2003 survey was a “Test Survey” that only included a partial sampling of the counties in the ENTIRE COUNTRY.

Look at this map and tell me how you can deduce anything meaningful from their sampling:


Where's the Red States? Posted by Picasa

Did they look at your neighborhood?
(I’m taking a deep breath now….)

I’m not a professional statistician, but in my humble “Rocket Scientist” opinion this new survey is ALARMING based on the TRENDS it presents, but basically the details are meaningless.

I wonder how much this "Survey" cost each of us?

Why do our government and media insist on bombarding us with such crap?

These Chickens Will Come Home To Roost One Day…

And We Won’t Be Worrying About “Bird Flue”

Today’s New York Times has an article that talks about some interesting data contained in the new US Census Bureau’s American Community Survey. This is the first time the Census Bureau has taken a look at marriage and birth trends on a state by state basis.

The Times article starts out by trying to make a big deal about how sophisticated people up north in the “Blue States” marry later and have fewer babies out of wedlock than all of us “Red Staters” and southern Rednecks.

Check this out:

When it comes to marriage and babies, the red states really are different from the blue states, according to a new Census Bureau analysis of marriage, fertility and socioeconomic characteristics.

People in the Northeast marry later and are more likely to live together without marriage and less likely to become teenage mothers than are people in the South.

The bureau's analysis, based on a sample of more than three million households from the American Community Survey data of 2000-3, is the first to examine the data by state.

"There are marked regional differences, said Jane Dye, the bureau researcher who did the study, with Tallese Johnson.

So what’s the Times’ point--that we’re all stupid, less sophisticated, or just a lusty horny bunch of ignoramuses here in Alabama and Georgia?

It really doesn’t matter to me how the elitist assholes at the New York Times interpret and publish the data, what they do manage to do is leak out a few statistics that should concern all Americans.

It scared the crap out of me when I read it:

Over all, it found, 15 percent of the women who had given birth in the United States in the previous year were not citizens. But immigrant presence, too, is very much a regional phenomenon. So while noncitizens made up a third of the new mothers in California, and more than 20 percent in Arizona, Nevada, New Jersey and Texas, there were a dozen states where less than 4 percent of the new mothers were not citizens.

Similarly, while 21 percent of all women who gave birth in California in the last year and 14 percent in Arizona, Nevada and Texas either did not speak English well or did not speak it at all, there were 14 states where less than 2 percent of the new mothers had limited English skills or none.

So are you concerned about illegal immigration now?

Let me say it to you again:

FIFTEEN PERCENT OF THE WOMEN THAT GAVE BIRTH IN THE UNITED STATES IN 2003 WERE NON-CITIZENS!!

How can we let this happen?

How can our government allow this to go on unchecked?

You know that under current law any child born in this country is considered elligable for benefits just like a legal taxpaying citizen, right?

This is complete crap.

If we as a nation don't get serious about closing our borders and expelling illegal aliens from our population, we might just wake up in 20 years living in the Georgia Republic of Mexico.

There is certainly strength in numbers, but I don’t like the way these numbers are going.

Demons—R—Us

Don’t Try This At Home…Kids

Book your flights and hotel rooms early, ladies and gentlemen, here’s your chance to visit Italy and get in on a class about exorcism while your at it:

A far cry from sorcerers, satanists and other practitioners whom he dismisses as "charlatans," Italian exorcist Andrea Gemma fights the devil only with the strength of his prayers and advises Catholics: 'Don't do this at home".

A rotund, expansive Neapolitan, the 74-year-old bishop was the first lecturer to face the Catholic Church's latest crop of budding exorcists at a unique course run by clergy at Rome's Pontifical Regina Apostolorum University. The course began Thursday and will run for several weeks…

Asked about his method of discerning real cases of possession from other psychological illnesses, the priest revealed his "secret weapon":

"If I speak Latin, the demon responds to me in Latin. He has a horror of that language."

I know a couple of women from my past that I could have used his methods on, but it’s too late to help me now. I thought that a sure sign of possession was people’s head spinning around like in the movies?

And yeah, I too have a fear of people speaking Latin…

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Jesse Jackson Found…

Displaced Residents Still Missing

It turns out that I was delinquent in my earlier web search for news of the missing Jesse Jackson bus caravan.

I'm so relieved.

I was wondering about Jackson’s success, when and if the buses actually got to New Orleans, and why the media was not continuing to trumpet the story.

It turns out that the New Orleans Times Picayune had the details in their Wednesday edition:

It was supposed to be a bus caravan of about 200 New Orleanians coming back home in search of a new start, a new job and a better future.

But when the Rev. Jesse Jackson's five-bus caravan arrived at a Piccadilly Cafeteria parking lot in Kenner on Tuesday, many of the job seekers who got off the chartered buses had never set foot in Louisiana before.

It was unclear how many New Orleanians had opted to return to New Orleans in the caravan. Officials with Jackson's Rainbow/PUSH Coalition could not say how many arrived on the buses or how many were from New Orleans. Most of the job seekers said they hailed from Mobile and Memphis. Organizers, however, said that no matter what the hometowns of the riders were, the trip was a positive first step that would encourage Louisiana residents to return and look for jobs.

For weeks, Jackson has publicly spoken about the need to return New Orleans-area residents to their hometown so that they could help rebuild their communities. On Tuesday, he declined to explain why so many of those brought to Louisiana were not residents. Details such as where they would be working and living also had yet to be resolved. Everyone will have a place to stay and a job, Jackson said.

When they arrived in Kenner, Piccadilly welcomed them with a hot meal and job applications. Burger King, McDonald's, UPS and two firms looking for workers to remove debris and restore buildings in New Orleans also were present…

Travis Houston, an Uptown resident returning on a bus, didn't seem to mind that the majority of the 200 people with him weren't Louisiana residents.

As far as Houston was concerned, there were enough jobs for everyone.

"One person can change their community. One community can change a city. One city can change a nation, and one nation can change the world," Houston said. "You have got to start somewhere. Even if there are only 60 or 80 people from New Orleans, he (Jackson) got them back."

You better bet you last dollar that if Jackson had actually managed to find 200 displaced New Orleans residents (or the original 600 he started out looking for) that the media would have beat us to death with this story. FEMA would be forced to charter airlines and buses from points all over the US to return all of the pitiful displaced refugees to their beloved “Big Easy.”

I think that 99% of these people are glad to be the heck out of the city, and it’s going to take more than Jesse Jackson driving a bus to get them to return.

Live By The Sword…

Die By The Sword...

The right to free association is slowly slipping away from us in this country.

Everything from country clubs to the neighborhood little league teams are being assaulted by individuals and “activist groups” seeking to change the fundamental activities and membership of these private organizations.

Gone are the days when the guys could all get together in men’s only “Commerce Clubs” and sit around farting and belching and smoking cigars while watching wrestling or boxing 24 hours a day. All of the major clubs that I know about have already been forced to tear out a few urinals to make room for ladies restrooms and hang a truck load of new wallpaper.

I wonder how much longer the Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts have?

The quickest way to get your name in the newspaper is to go out and form a club that excludes women, minorities, homosexuals, left handed people, or any other class or group of people that can be defended by the busybody activists. The problem is even worse if your group happens to have any financially or politically successful people in your membership.

"Exclusive"…"Unfair discrimination"… are the cries from the activists.

Basically, if your group takes any public funding or requires a license or operating permits issued from any government entity, you better get ready to have your membership dictated to you by outsiders. Things like building permits and liquor licenses are at risk if you are considered to be “exclusive” in your membership practices.

What I really hate is when people join a club or organization knowing what the limitations and rules are, only to start demanding that the group make substantial changes in order to accommodate their own tender sensibilities.

In today’s political environment, the loser is, unfortunately, usually the “offending” organization and their traditions.

Today’s example of this phenomena is this guy down in Ft. Walton Beach, Florida that has a problem with the name of his new dance team.

FORT WALTON BEACH, Fla. -- Fifteen-year-old Galen Smith is a dance enthusiast who practices three hours a day, but won't be a part of Choctawhatchee High School's dance team as long as it's known as the Indianettes.

Smith made the team after tryouts, but he balked when the school refused to change its feminine nickname. Now, he's trying to form a second team with a gender-neutral name, contending Indianettes is sexist and discourages boys from joining.

"I want something that is more inclusive," Smith said. "There are other guys who are interested but they know they'd be talked about because of the name."

School officials told him the name is a tradition at the school, where boys sports teams are known as Indians and girls teams as Lady Indians. Principal Cindy Massarelli said Smith was welcome to dance on the team, but the name stays, at least for now.

Poor little Galen…what a stupid little sheltered twit he obviously is. I suspect there is a stupid “inclusive” mother and father behind his actions and they are probably so proud of the job that they have done raising little Smith, Jr.

What I want to know is: “what the heck was he thinking when he auditioned?” Did he somehow not know that the dance team was called the “Indianettes”?

I happen to know something about this high school’s traditions because my high school played them in football back in the 1970’s. Choctawatchee High has always had a good football program, a giant 300 member marching band that could outplay many college bands, and their girls dance team has a proud tradition that enjoys spirited yearly competition for each and every position on the squad.

Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not a dance team fan, but I believe that little Galen needs to wipe away his tears and swish his little butt out to the boys locker room and try to recruit himself a team of male dancers. I bet he gets his rear end kicked if he’s not careful.

I am firmly behind the Indianettes keeping their name and allowing Galen to dance with them, if he meets their standards, but as to changing their name I say NO!

I just wish that people would give white men a little slack when it comes to the idea of our right to free association every once and a while--but that's all water over the dam now...

Crazy On A Ship Of Fools

Jabba The Hut Backs Kerry…

Ted Kennedy today announced his support for John Kerry, if Kerry decides to run in 2008.

Nothing that Ted Kennedy does surprises me anymore.

BOSTON (AP) -- Sen. Edward Kennedy said Wednesday he would back fellow Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2008 - even if Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton also pursues a White House bid.

"If he runs, I would support him," Kennedy told The Associated Press in an interview at his Boston office.

While Kennedy has frequently entertained the New York senator and her husband, former President Clinton, he said his loyalty is to Kerry. Early polling shows Clinton and Kerry among the favorites for their party's nomination in 2008, but neither has said for sure whether they'll run.

Kennedy called Kerry, the 2004 nominee, an "able, gifted and talented political leader."

He criticized President Bush's leadership and said of the American people: "Every day, I think they regret that John wasn't elected."

"We haven't had accountability and we haven't had real leadership in dealing with these issues and problems," he said, "and that's what I hear more than anything else."

The White House had no immediate comment.

Does anyone but me notice a trend here?

This story was apparently written to announce a well known drunken, murdering, alcoholic expressing his endorsement for the candidacy of a well known, discredited, politically defeated liar, but the Associated Press can't stop there.

Gotta use the opportunity to poke at Bush a little...

Out of 219 words, the article spends 49 of them, nearly 25%, criticizing the president.

In the same statement Kennedy calls Kerry “able, gifted and talented” he also describes President Bush as unaccountable and lacking real leadership. So much for having unbiased opinions...

Then the article mentions that the “White House had no immediate comment.”

Why the heck would the White House have to respond to Kennedy putting his scotch glass down and picking his head up off the bar long enough to endorse Kerry?

Can’t the Associated Press and their reporters remember that George Bush won't be running for office in 2008, no matter who Kennedy endorses for President?

Yeah, I thought so...

Magic Bus Tour--Day Three

Anybody know how to change a flat tire?

Just in case you’re interested, I assume that Jesse Jackson’s Magic Bus Tour continues on it’s way from Chicago to New Orleans. I have to say that “I assume” because a Google search of news stories produced exactly zero new results today.

The WWL website in New Orleans resorted to re-running the same old Associated Press story that I referenced yesterday. It’s surprising that there isn’t at least one major media outlet in New Orleans covering Jackson’s efforts.

I said that I expected this story would disappear, but really….”Com’ on Jessie, tell us how things are going!”

Think about this with me for a minute.

Jackson runs to the microphone on Monday and trashes our response to the hurricanes. He says that Karl Rove is intentionally preventing minorities from returning to New Orleans in an effort to minimize the Democrat’s voting advantage at the polls in future elections.

Finally he admits that his 600 person “displaced indigenous” bus caravan would actually be carrying only 200 people. According to this charter company, the average charter bus has 47 seats and a bathroom.

Doing the math, this means that Jessie had to cut his bus order down from twelve buses to only four—and apparently he’s having trouble filling them.

Even with the announced reduction of seats he was forced to take on two Spanish speaking “refugees” in the swarm of three people that boarded his caravan in St. Louis. Not exactly a resounding success, would you say?

It’s also a little disturbing that they are taking four or five days to travel from Chicago to the Gulf coast, a trip that you can do on a Greyhound Bus in only about 12 hours.

Where are Jesse’s Halliburton “share croppers” eating and sleeping while on this extended trip—on the buses? If not, who is paying for their food and motel rooms—Rainbow Push?

I guess that we’ll have to wait and see, but if these people treat the buses like they treated the superdome, I suspect that I know where you can buy four charter rigs, REAL CHEEP!

The Reverend Jackson is such a joke...

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Jesse Jackson’s Amazing Magic Bus

Watch Rev. Jesse Disappear…just like his passengers...

Yesterday's Chicago Sun Times news headlines are talking about the slightly irreverent Reverend Jessie Jackson’s 600 passenger bus caravan carrying “displaced” and “indigenous” people back to New Orleans.

To prevent some Hurricane Katrina victims from remaining in "permanent exile," the Rev. Jesse Jackson will be traveling from Chicago to New Orleans with 600 evacuees Monday so they can sign up for jobs rebuilding their devastated hometown.

The "hope caravan" will leave Chicago at 5 a.m. Monday from the Rainbow/PUSH headquarters, 930 E. 50th St. Jackson will pick up victims along the route that will go through East St. Louis; St. Louis; Memphis; Jackson, Miss., and Mobile, Ala., to New Orleans, where they will meet with another Rainbow/PUSH bus full of evacuees from Houston
.

Sounds like a good idea to me, but apparently there are a few extra empty seats on the good Reverend’s buses. Of course you won’t hear or see this part of the story on TV, but the St. Louis newspaper lets us know how things are going.

The Rev. Jesse Jackson today called for Gulf Coast victims of Hurricane Katrina to receive priority when it comes to jobs, job training and contracts in the region’s reconstruction.

He criticized the Bush administration for failing to have a plan to help evacuees quickly return and participate in the economic opportunities now there.

Instead, that work is going no-bid contractors, he said.“Just as there was no mass plan for rescue and there was a botched plan of radical dislocation, there’s no plan to return those who have been dispersed around the country,” Jackson said today in St. Louis.

“You have the indigenous citizens having to sharecrop or subcontract to Halliburton and Bechtel,’’ he said.

Jackson said President Bush's chief political strategist, Karl Rove, is overseeing reconstruction of the Gulf Coast, and that he and others in the White House are using Katrina to push their political agenda. He said black, Democratic-leaning voters have been radically dislocated and are being kept in "permanent exile."

"Karl Rove is a political reconstructionist" who wants to "change the character" of Louisiana politics from the mayor's office to its congressional representation.White House spokesman Allen Abney said Bush, working with Cabinet members, and not Rove, is leading the Gulf Coast reconstruction effort.

"Our focus is reconstruction of the region, to get it back up economically," Abney said. "It's not about politics. It's about recovery.

"Organizers said three people boarded the bus in St. Louis. Two spoke only Spanish.

I seem to remember that Rev. Jackson and other so called “black leaders” were screaming bloody murder when white republicans called the New Orleans refugees “refugees”, but Jackson has no trouble calling the displaced people "exiles" and “indigenous.”

He also refers to them as “share croppers” to Haliburton's "no-bid contracts."

Give me a break...

I wonder how Jackson felt when TWO of the total of THREE passengers that boarded the buses in St. Lewis spoke Spanish, not English. I bet that once they got out of sight of the TV cameras Jackson’s people invited the Mexicans to return their tray tables and seatbacks to the upright and locked position and exit the bus at the next stop. Heck, they might have just slowed down and pushed them out the door of the bus.

Being the saavy politician and race warlord that he is, it seems that Jesse is busy revising his numbers downward due to the low turnout thus far:

Starting early Monday in Chicago, Jesse Jackson was picking up evacuees who were forced to leave New Orleans but who want to return to rebuild their city. The caravan made stops in St. Louis, Memphis, Tenn., and other cities on its way to New Orleans.

Jackson said he originally had expected to take 600 evacuees, but after talking to Nagin, reduced the number to 200. He said jobs and housing had been guaranteed for them.


Let's sit back and watch the media shift gears and bury the low passenger turnout under the story of Jackson’s bashing of President Bush.

I'd also like to point out that there is supposed to be HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of displaced New Orleans residents.

If things are as bad as Jackson says, where are all of these willing able-bodied workers--out spending their FEMA checks?

And let's not forget that Karl Rove is an Eeeeevvvviiiilllll, Evil man.....

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Buzzard Flu—Just More Media Static?

Don’t worry…just change the channel…

As I’ve said dozens of times before, I have a love hate relationship with the mainstream media.

In fact, I LOVE to HATE the mainstream media.

It seems to me, looking in from the outside, that they (most of the media professionals) are complete idiots, or else they intentionally write, deliver, and/or broadcast inaccurate, incomplete, or otherwise incorrect information.

As they say: “If it Bleeds, It Leads…”

I say that if you’re going to write something like “THE SKY IS FALLING!”, you should provide some background information supporting your allegations and possibly suggest a remedy or otherwise list the manufacturers of umbrellas and hardhats for your readers' use.

That’s not the way it always works, however.

Instead, they toss out a hysterical story, imply ominous consequences, and then end the story with a “we’re all gonna die and there’s nothing we can do because the mean old Republicans chose tax cuts for the rich over scaffolding for the heavens—they don’t care about ANYBODY.”

Pleeeaaaassssseee…

So where exactly does that leave you and me?

Well, being a professional beach bum, I have all day to read multiple news sources and hopefully figure out what the heck is really going on with a given story rather than just tossing off my clothing and running screaming into the ocean or off to the mountains.

Take this new “Bird Flue” scare for instance.

What exactly are we supposed to be afraid of?

Sex with strange Chickens?

Kissing strange Geese?

No problem, I already have a girlfriend to whom I’m monogamously committed. She’s a chick, but she’s far from being a chicken.

So really, what exactly are we supposed to do besides worry and huddle our children in the bathroom in the basement?

Do the news reports tell you anything other than that President Bush , the FDA, the FBI, the FDIC, the CIA, and the Agriculture department are all in the process of furrowing their sweaty brows as they petition congress for extra tax money to protect “children” and “the elderly” from this new virus threat.

NOOOOOOO….

Not to worry, because I’m here to calm your fears with a few facts and some suggestions

First, remember the complete and total bust that last years “Flu Virus” shortage was?

As I recall, last fall the media was predicting that we’d all be hacking our lungs out and puking our guts out because there was a government induced shortage of the regular yearly flu vaccine.

After all of the hysteria, what actually ended up happening?

There was a surprisingly light flu season, extra vaccine was imported, and the whole matter is now been forgotten as yet another stupid-assed asterisk on the report card of modern media credibility.

See what I mean? So what are you worrying about now?

I have some suggestions regarding steps my household will be taking this winter to avoid any pesky problems with “bird flu.”

*First, don’t talk to any strange birds, even if they are cute little African Grey Parrots like my fellow blogger Steve’s bird Marvin over at Hog On Ice.

* Eat beef and pork (the other white meat) exclusively rather than poultry.

* Change the TV channel every time the Purdue chicken commercials come on.

* Turn the TV off else don’t watch any news programs or read the newspapers.

* Or just take a fist full of pain pills and sleep the flue season away.

* Don't travel to Vietnam or anywhere else in Asia where birds are free to roam around loose in peoples under clothing.

I believe that, everything else being equal, if we'll all just stay calm and mind our own business, we've got more concern about global warming, lightning strikes, shark and gator bites, child molesters, getting abducted in Aruba, and possibly tornadic winds blowing a mobile home on top of our gas guzzling SUV's while we're standing in line paying $4.00 a gallon for foreign oil.

Gosh, I feel better already...

I Want a Digeridoo, how about you?

more musical mumblings...

I’ve had a rather strange musical career.

Actually, maybe I shouldn’t refer to it as a “career”—it’s been more like a “musical experience” or a “lifetime musical adventure.”

When I was a kid my parents spent thousands of dollars on pianos and guitars and trumpets with which I achieved some limited success. By the time I was a senior in high school I could actually walk out in front of a few thousand people in a football stadium and get through a chorus or two on my Maynard Ferguson signature model Holton Trumpet.

You remember Maynard Ferguson don’t you? He was that other good 1970’s trumpet player (besides the Tonight Show’s Doc Severinsen.) He was the guy that did the theme song for the movie “Rocky.”

Those days are long behind me since my lips have spent more time over the past 25 years eating and drinking and blabbing than they have pushing air through a custom Schilke 14-A-4a mouthpiece.

In the past ten years I decided to learn how to play the harmonica. It all began innocently enough, but before it was over with I had to have a Shure 520dx “Bullet” microphone and a briefcase full of Honer and Lee Oskar Harps in practically every possible key. I defy you to name another musical instrument that can be had for less than $10.

OK—forget about the kazoo (I have one of those also.)

I’ve found that if you can actually play the harp (slang for harmonica) pretty well, it is fairly easy to get the chance to play occasionally with other singers and musicians.

I’ve actually been on stage in Atlanta several times to do “Sweet Home Chicago” or “Red House” with blues recording artist Theodis Ealey. I hope to find someone down here in the Golden Isles to jam with on occasion.

Recently I’ve been lusting after a couple of Mannette Steel Drums and a set of Gibson Bagpipes.

Steel Drums and Bagpipes you say?

Am I strange or what? How about some Calypso music played in a Kilt?

I don’t think so. After all, being able to play the steel drums would be handy here on the coast for doing Caribbean style music, not to mention Reggae and a bunch of Jimmy Buffett.

And the Bagpipes—I don’t care if anyone else wants to hear the bagpipes—I want to hear the bagpipes. I’ll figure it out too, you just watch me.

Just when I though that my quest for strange musical instruments was over with, this blogger has to go and mention the Australian Aboriginal Didgeridoo. You’ve probably seen a Didgeridoo on TV or in the movies at some time. It looks like a tree limb because that what it is—a piece of Eucalyptus tree that has been hollowed out by termites, then fashioned into an eclectic musical instrument.

I want one, and one can be had for as little as $25.

I think that with my new arsenal of instruments that I can terrorize the neighbors cats and dogs at an entirely new level.

“Hey, get down off of there...mean kitty..."

Monday, October 10, 2005

Thousands of Words...

But Only A Few Really Good Ideas...

In case you haven't noticed, lots of things are going on in the world right now that I haven't commented on.

Imagine that?

Being a rocket scientist rather than a legal scholar I've thus far avoided entering the fray over President Bush's latest US Supreme Court nominee. I'm nervous about her conservative credentials, but I think that you'll agree that we have to let the process play itself out and then allow the chips fall where they may at the polls in 2006.

I sure hope that Bush isn't back in the booze again...

I'm really scratching my head over the lack of media outcry over the estimated 40,000 assumed deaths in the recent middle east earthquake.

The numbers keep climbing by the hour, but to the best of my knowledge Greta Van Sustren and Geraldo are still cooling their heels in NYC or LA.

I think that the Pakistanis will agree that a SLOW response is better than NO response, which is what many of the poor peasants will be getting in the middle of the desert over there. I think that it would be funny if someone should load up New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagan, Jane Fonda, and Barbara Streisand in a C-130 and fly their loud mouths straight to Islamabad. They could even reserve a seat for Teresa Heinz Kerry, who is probably out spending some of her billions trying to corner the market on Kashmir sweaters in anticipation of the upcoming shortage.

Did you hear about the FBI having a hard time recruiting people that can meet their current drug use guidelines? Now they are trying to relax their rules so that people that haven't smoked a blunt in the past 3 years can qualify, but only if they did it less than fifteen times.

What I want to know is: "what are they smoking down at FBI headquarters?" How about letting people like former President Clinton become secret agents if they promise that they didn't inhale? I think that I'd rather hire a casual smoker over a closet alcoholic any day. If fact, I think that if you were so up tight that you admitted that you didn't take a puff or two of weed in college I wouldn't hire you to wash my car.

Once again the Atlanta Braves ended a great season by falling out of the playoffs in the very first round. I shed exactly "zero" tears over any Braves loss these days. I lived and died with their misery all through the 1970's and 1980's, bought world series for the 1982 world series that never was, and have not set foot in Turner field more than two times since they opened it--mainly in protest over the last baseball strike.

What the die-hard Braves critics need to remember is that winning the regular season is all that the Braves owe their fans. Post season games are not attended by the kids and parents that drive from Macon, Georgia in the middle of the week to watch a Braves home game several times each season. The seats during the playoffs are filled with VIP's from Coka Cola and Delta Airlines that refused to break a sweat to attend a Saturday day game in July because it would mess up their hair and they might get armpit stains on their Polo shirt. I just hope the Braves keep on winning those regular season games and rewarding the fans that pay their bills day in and day out.

Closer to home, the good news is that we made it through 24 hours here on the island without a drop of rain falling. I spent the afternoon letting my tennis shoes dry out for the first time in over a week.

On the blog front, I printed out all of my text from over at my cooking blog, The Redneck Gourmet, and to my surprise I found that I had done over 150 pages of writing since last November.

Time flys when you only have to write a few words at a time, I guess.

I've started editing it a little and shopping around for a literary agent to see if there is any interest in publishing a book next year using "The Redneck Gourmet" title.

Who knows?

...I might end up being a writer after all.