Monday, February 11, 2008

I'm Almost Feeling Human Again

(If That Is Actually Something To Be Desired)

Well, folks, I'm spening day seven here at the beautiful SE Georgia Regional Medical Center and Massage Parlor. I have a lovely private room in the new tower, on the penthouse floor, overlooking the roof of the old hospital complex and a Herculese toxic waste disposal site.

Speaking of toxic waste, you should see some of the stuff that's been coming out of my gut through a tube they have shoved down my left nostril into my stomach. It almost glows in the dark sometimes I think.

As I suspected on Tuesday when I asked Pat to take me to the emergency room, the symptoms of my intestinal ischemia from 30 months ago had returned, although this time I caught it much earlier.

I only had to live for two days in intensive care before they moved me out into the regular population of sick people...if they only knew how irregular I really am...

The worst thing about this whole ordeal is my inability to eat, and their lack of desire to put food in my ailing small intestine. I have't seen anything but ice chips for a week now.

The good news is, as I always say...there's nothing like a good serious illness to take some weight off, and weight loss I am accomplishing through this ordeal.

They say that I might be out of here by Friday, stay tuned if you will.