Friday, January 14, 2005

Crazy For You

Ok, it’s time for my monthly political correctness rant, and this one involves perhaps the stupidest thing I’ve heard of yet.

It seems that a self proclaimed “mental health advocate” has a problem with the “Crazy for you Bear” offered for Valentines Day by the Vermont Teddy Bear Company.

“Mental health advocates consider the bear "a tasteless use of marketing that stigmatizes persons with mental illness," Jerry Goessel, executive director of the Vermont chapter of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill, wrote to the Shelburne-based company.”

"A straitjacket is not a symbol that we want to associate with sales of a teddy bear for loved ones over Valentine's Day," Goessel said. "And the use of commitment papers, legal documents committing an individual to involuntary treatment, is not something to be taken casually."


The Vermont Teddy Bear Company says that they appreciate their concerns and will discontinue the bear, but not until after February 14th. I don’t blame them one bit.

In an effort to prevent the potential mental anguish and harm to other social groups, I am hereby appointing myself as the “OFFICIAL ADVOCATE OF EVERY POSSIBLE SENSITIVE IDIOTS’ TENDER FEELINGS” and I’m going to address the rest of the selection of Valentines Day Bears in an effort to ensure that no one can possibly be offended. Check out the web site and I think that you will agree that there are some real problems here…

For instance:

“Fool for Love” bear--complete with a jester hat, I’m personally offended because everyone that knows me knows that I am a fool. I often travel to parties with my own lampshade to wear on my head…

“Love Bandit” bear—complete with a black bandit mask. I must protest on behalf of raccoons everywhere…

“Love Handle” bear--complete with “Keep on Lovin’” ball cap, work boots, denim jeans, and a red T-shirt that says “I’m in this for the long haul.” I’m also personally protesting this bear on behalf of rednecks everywhere—where do I call to get my class action lawsuit check?

“Burnin’ Love” bear--complete with fireman’s hat and fiery “love” tattoo on left arm. What an insensitive insult to our public servants… Oh the Humanity!

"Horny Devil" bear—ruby red bear in naughty outfit. Need I say more? Jerry Fallwell and the Southern Baptists will possibly be damaged for life and never get over this one.

Could someone please send Mr. Goessel and the rest of the so-called “Mental Health Advocates” a few prepaid phone cards so that they can call someone that actually gives a damn?

Or maybe we could all take up a collection and buy them a new microscope or a telescope to assist them in their livelong efforts spent looking for something that truly matters to worry about.


Thursday, January 13, 2005

Looking A Gift Horse In The Mouth

My posting title might at first seem rather strange, even to someone who has heard the expression before. For all of you city slickers, “looking a gift horse in the mouth” refers to one of the methods used by persons knowledgable in all matters equine to determine the approximate age and health of a horse. Basically, you look at the horse’s teeth. This exercise, combined with a general vewing of the rest of the animal (legs, hoofs, etc.,) gives you a pretty good idea of the condition the horsey is in and care that it has previously received.

Further, looking a “gift horse” in the mouth is intended to refer to someone appearing ungrateful in receiving a gift. Which brings me to this instance of the Indonesian officials telling foreign military troops to get out of their country real soon.

They actually have the audacity to say that they need engineers and doctors, not military personnel. Well, I can tell you about one mechanical engineer (me) who won’t be burning any frequent flyer miles to jump on an airplane and rush to their assistance any time soon.

Of course they are painting their demands in pastel shades of compassion—saying that they are really just worried about the safety of the relief workers.

“Senior officials said foreign journalists would also be confined to major towns in the province, closing a post-disaster window of press freedom in the region which was locked down almost two years ago during a military offensive."

"Indonesian troops have already begun accompanying United Nations missions to help victims of the tsunami and liaison officers are to be posted on the scores of foreign navy ships and military and civilian aircraft bringing in thousands of tonnes of emergency supplies."


"Despite statements from Free Aceh Movement rebels, known as GAM, pledging the safety of volunteers, Welfare Minister Alwi Shihab said the government was concerned attacks on aid staff could scare off foreign assistance.”


You're damn right attacks will affect our attitude, Einstein.

And asking the troops to leave, to my way of thinking, is a bit insane because if anyone starts kidnapping or shooting I want a whole truck load of GI's standing by with night vision goggles and an intimate knowledge, ability, and capability to bring to bear the appropriate ordinance and firepower (what we call in Alabama opening an industrial strength can of whoop ass.)

Why don’t they all just come out and say what they mean…SEND YOUR MONEY AND GET THE HELL OUT. I say we take them up on their offer, and keep the cash for someone that really deserves and appreciates it.

Is it just me?

Can't See The Forrest For The Trees--Part II

In my earlier post, Can’t see the forrest for the trees, I complained about the stupidity of the government’s and TSA’s efforts to look for possible weapons on airplanes rather than looking for terrorists on airplanes.

You already can’t clip your fingernails on a 747 and, starting next month, with the new ban on cigarette lighters, you won’t have to worry about being assaulted by a wild eyed, swarthy, goat eating middle-easterner threatening to light your cigarette or burn your eyebrows off on a Delta flight.

I know that I sure feel safer as a result…NOT!

Now we learn that these geniuses at the TSA actually found someone that was on their vaulted “terror watch list” that had been allowed to board a British Airways flight from London yesterday and they still allowed the plane to take off. Three hours into the flight they woke up and forced the plane to return to England rather (but not Dan Rather) than allowing it to land in New York.

No big deal you might say—the system worked. No it did not work. The updated “terror watch“ list was not in the hands of the BA airline personnel. Further, the way the system works, most of the time, even if an individual is on the list, the airlines wait until the plane has departed to report the passenger manifest to US officials.

Understand? They’ve got us all taking off our coats and standing around in our stocking feet at airport checkpoints, they’re strip searching grey haired 95 year old veterans with war wounds repaired with metal plates in their heads, and all the while French Moroccan “suspects” are jumping on airplanes at Heathrow and flying off to parts unknown.

I guess that we just need to throw some more tax money at the programs and hope they get it fixed before Abdul or Mohammed gets another chance at us.

I think that I feel another migraine coming on…

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

I now have links!!!

I've been a bit delinquent in not establishing a link section in my Blog because I've been too lazy to figure out the HTML program coding to accomplish the task. Linking to other blog sites is a good way for me to increase the number of readers and that's what I'm trying to accomplish in 2005.

So, instead of a new post this morning, I did a quick tutorial on HTML coding for generating links and now you get a "Links section" in the left sidebar under my profile.

Be sure and stop by and visit Neal Boortz, Captain Ed, the guys at Powerline, and even check the weather on the Sun on the Space Weather site. I'm going to expand the list as I have the time and who knows, you might learn something as a result.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Mary Mapes Is History

(What’s The Frequency Kenneth?)

I’m in a hurry, but I still have time to dance like Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof (don’t try to picture me like I really dance because I can’t.)

It seems that CBS News has fired four employees in response to the forged Texas Air National Guard Documents aired on the show 60 Minutes last fall. In addition to Producer Mary Mapes that chased President Bush for Five years beginning before the 2000 election, there were these casualties:

Asked to resign were Senior Vice President Betsy West, who supervised CBS News primetime programs; 60 Minutes Wednesday Executive Producer Josh Howard; and Howard’s deputy, Senior Broadcast Producer Mary Murphy.

And then of course there was our old friend, Dan Rather, who was given the sympathetic "graceful early out" last fall with the announcement of his retirement.

For those of you that wonder…there is a God.

Vengeance is (ours), sayeth the Lord…

Update: Jan 10, 2005 10:45 PM

I wrote this posting this morning (about 11 hours ago) just as the news broke that CBS had released their so-called "independent" investigation. Sorry that my title, using the "60 Minutes" show producer's name Mary Mapes, might have been obscure to some of you that didn't closely follow this story over the past four months. I really was in a hurry and didn't have time to write my usual long winded rant. Actually, I think that I've said all that I need to say on this subject and will just let it pass into history quietly.

The members of the conservative Bloggosphere are all celebrating tonight because we realize that any one of us has the opportunity to truly make a difference in the reporting of world events in the future--without having to go back to school to get a journalism degree.

And by the way, my subtitle--"What's the frequency Kenneth?" is a reference to an early "Dan Ratherism" (also used for the name of a song by the popular Athens, Georgia group R.E.M.) the details of which can be found on the Rather Biased Web Site.

Read it if you will. Goodnight Y'all...


Pucker Up For Peace?

Excuse me while I finish gagging…..OK, I’m OK.

Fox News just reported that John Kerry has landed in Palestine to meet with the newly elected Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, having spent time in Iraq over the past few days denigrating the US war effort. You do know that Kerry supports the Troops, but is really worried about how the effort has been handled by the administration to date?

The splinter group Hamas called for a boycott of the election but has announced that they will support the new leader. Former US President and Dictator-Butt-Kisser-in-Chief Jimmy Carter was on hand to make the sure the EU and our domestic leftists felt warm and fuzzy about the election’s fairness.

Watch for Hamas to try to have their cake and eat it too. Since they didn’t vote for Abbas, they will quickly abandon him at the first inkling of any policies that favor Israel. They might even send one of their wild-eyed child zealots over to his house to visit, with a complementary case of dynamite

The Fox News broadcast showed a video clip of Carter shaking hands and chatting with Abbas earlier today. On the wall behind the two was a large photo of Yasser Arafat. Perfect setting!

Kerry apparently wanted to be the first US politician to rush to the scene to congratulate Abbas. I suspect that the timing of Kerry’s trip was planned all along based on today’s photo opportunities and as an effort to upstage President Bush, who could really care less which towel head the Palestinian’s elect.

The European Union foreign policy chief Javier Solana has already met with Abbas. And of course everyone in the media is endorsing the election as a landslide, a mandate, all and all a good thing. Abbas reportedly got over 62% of the vote in an election that had to be extended by two hours.

Some stories say the extension was needed to accommodate heavy voter turnout. Others say it was to encourage improved voter turnout.

In this Washington Post story they say that the voter turnout was low:

“An hour before polls closed, Hanna Nasir, chairman of the commission, told reporters in Ramallah that 43 percent of the 1.9 million eligible voters had turned out. In scattered municipal elections last month in the West Bank, voter turnout was about 81 percent.”

And of course our ever accurate CBS News headlines “Palestinian Landslide for Abbas:

“There was some confusion about voter turnout. Officials said close to 70 percent of 1.1 million registered voters cast ballots. However, in all about 1.8 million Palestinians were eligible, and a total turnout figure was not given”.

What I want to know is, with the Hamas boycott and a potential low voter turnout, how can Carter, Kerry, the EU, and the balance of the nay-saying liberal left so quickly endorse the election results and declare it a landslide/mandate?

Haven’t we listened to their hand wringing and requests for delays in the Iraqi elections because of their desire for every single Muslim faction to be included in the vote? What if it is proven that less than half of the eligible voters actually cast a ballot?

Low turnout, combined with the Hamas boycott should at least have been reason for them to run around in hysterics for a few weeks a la Florida 2000/Ohio 2004 looking for disenfranchised voters.

WHAT A REDICULOUS DOUBLE STANDARD!!

I guess that we will all just have to pucker up for peace…NOT!

(By the way, I’m taking up a collection of donations to fund a truck load of chapstick to send over to repair all of the damage done to the lips of the media and the liberals by the fawning butt-kissing frenzy we’re about to witness…just watch and try not to gag.)