Industrial Vendor Induced Insanity ( I V I squared )

The Hungarians And The French Don't Like Americans Me?


So this morning finds me sitting in front of the old HP Laptop Computer worrying about a bunch of crap which I've managed to get all wired together and mounted on and in and around things hanging on walls and pipes and tanks here in an "Industrial Facility" in South Carolina.

I hate to admit that after the past week's experiences doing this "PLC Control System Start-Up" I'm starting to feel a little loopy and desperate, so if you look out your window into your yard this morning and you live anywhere near Simpsonville, South Carolina you might find me standing on a step ladder hooking wires up to your bug zapper or bird feeder or gas grill trying to get a signal...ANY SIGNAL...I can understand with my Equipment.

OK...

Maybe not...

But I digress...

It turns out that nearly half of the stuff I'm trying to use was "made and assembled" by "Yours Truly" here in the By-God good old United States of 'Merica at the Turbo Pup Compound on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River...

And the other half?

Interestingly enough...

...the other half of that half was made in Hungary.

But then just recently I just found out that another quarter of my monstrosity was actually produced in FRANCE and sold to me by another 'Merican company I've been dealing with for a couple of years now.

Don't get me wrong here, Ladies and Gentlemen, because in spite of past rants and ramblings on this blog, I don't really give a a crap where you live and work--country, county, city, or state--as long as the product you sell me performs as advertised and you provide me with what is generally known in the engineering/construction business parlance as "cut sheets" or "documentation"

The average citizen not torturing themselves practicing the profession I lovingly call "Injuneering"  would ask for an "Owners Manual."

Most likely written in English if you live in Alabama or Georgia or South Carolina or Tennessee.

 (...and not translated into English from Swalhili by a multi-lingual third grader...UNDER DURESS...)

Problem for me is-best intentions aside--the Hungarians and French are forced because of their position on the GLOBE to operate on a schedule either 5 or 6 hours ahead of the "Eastern Time Zone" within which I reside and am currently conducting this debacle site installation exercise this past week.

Thus if I don't ask any questions I may have about the aforementioned foreign produced products...each day...by 10 or 11 AM EST...

There's a pretty darn good chance that I won't hear anything in the way of an answer (intelligible or unintelligible as the case may be) until the next morning/day.

And since YESTERDAY was FRIDAY THE 13TH???

I find myself sitting here this morning asking a couple of what will probably turn out to be some really stupid questions...

...which will probably warrant equally STUPID answers...

But now I'm DELAYED UNTIL MONDAY MORNING.

Dammit...

Fortunately Pat and Missy the Turbo Pup and I are safely sequestered here at my old college roommate's Condo (A.K.A. the "Prince Hotel") for the balance of the weekend while I recover from a week spent standing 5 to 7 hours each day in the noise and heat of a chemical plant.

And I'm sure that you'll excuse the light posting of late and my continuing mental malaise as I forge forward at a rate half of the speed of light SMELL.

And until then...

Regards Y'all...

More Insanity At The Airport

This Just In...




(Apparently in today's economy and job market some people have WaaaaaaaAAAAAAYYYYY too much time on their hands...)

I'm Melting.....

Either Freezing Or Frying In My Field The Field


Just in case you haven't been paying attention, during the majority of my professional career I've been pretty much what I call an "Office Boy."

By that simple reference I mean that the majority of my injuneering work has been historically conducted in the air conditioned comfort of an office.

At first my office was located in buildings owned by other people (what I call employers.)  Then during much of the past 21 years I wandered around in facilities which I owned personally (A.K.A. "my house" or most recently "my basement.")

But then at times on again and off again over the period of my professional achievement and unachievement I've randomly spent days if not weeks at a time performing work in the field on my customer's property delivering and installing the things I've designed and sometimes built and making the aforementioned things perform as promised and specified.

This week would be one of "THOSE" field/jobsite weeks, and let me tell you Ladies and Gentlemen...

I AM AN EXPERT AT PICKING OBSCENELY EXTREME WEATHER CONDITIONS WITHIN WHICH TO CONDUCT MY EXERCISES IN FIELD ENGINEERING AND CONSTRUCTION.

Seriously...I have to explain here that most of the time over the course of my near 30 year career I would stay in my office for most of 11 months out of each of those years, and yet then the remaining four weeks spread out over the 12 months in any given year I found myself either standing in the rain and snow while the thermometer hovers near 20 degrees F....

else preforming my work like I've been doing this week literally soaked to the skin from head to toe in sweat...in the 90 degree heat...and 90% humidity...surrounded by and large by people 20 years my junior who cavort around like it's just another day in the park at a picnic.

I've sweated so much in the past two days that I've melted the Altoids Mints I left in my front jeans pocket into solid cake-like blobs stuck to the pocket lining.

I've sweated so much that I'm considering buying stock in Gold Bond Powder and possibly Anti Monkeybutt Powder while I'm at it just so I can walk and sit down at the end of the day.

OK...I know...TMI (too much information...Mom) there but still...

Tomorrow is another day.

And I still have a few nagging details to finish up and then I have to conduct a little training class for the first and second shift system operators which will be using my Touch Screen PLC system to do their work.

Then if I'm successful we'll load up little Missy the Turbo Pup's lockers and sea chests back into the old Chrysler 300 (along with my plastic trash bag full of stinking sweaty clothes) and trundle back across through Asheville and the Appalachians to Knoxtown to the Turbo Pup Compound.

I'm hitting the job site at 7 AM this morning...Wish me luck...if you will...

Ho Hum

Like Watching Paint Dry...


Well, I've been here in "the upstate" area of South Carolina for going on three days now, and in the process I've managed to get a couple of hours of productive work done so far.

The good news is my panel looks good and is mounted and wired into my end of the field sensor and control wiring.

The bad news is that even though my customer has been screaming for two weeks saying that they were "basically done" with the installation of the balance of the field wiring and piping...

when I left the job site at 4:30 PM yesterday there was three electricians standing on top of and around the four giant tanks still connecting wires to things I had delivered on Monday morning.

Any way, I look really good so far in regard to my work and progress, and hopefully when I go over to the site this afternoon we'll finally be able to turn on the electrical power and make my masterpiece actually do something close to what it was designed to do.

Blogging has been suffering because of some behind the scene work I've been doing on this and another project when I'm not standing in the sun sweating on the job site.

Palmetto State Blogging--Part Deaux

Commentary From The "Up-State"...


Yesterday was a pretty good day...

...as travel days can go.

A leisurely departure about 1 PM.

A short drive on I-40 across the mountains through Asheville to an early dinner...

...followed by another less than hour long driving segment over to Greenville.

Then we sat around and blabbed about basically nothing until midnight.

Now today if I can get my head aligned with the magnetic field in this area and get a little work done...

I'll be back here on the Internet to say something relevent possibly.

Until then...Regards Y'all...

We're Goin' On The Road?

The Turbo Pup RoadShow Rides Again...


S U R P R I S E...

Did anyone but me know that our Puppy is heading out of town again today?

The good news is that we get to go with her.

She suspects something is up but she's not quite sure yet because I waited until after she went to bed to start dragging out the suitcases and stuff.

After finishing up some details in the documentation and the preliminary version of the owner's manual, I have a date with my customer at the job site over in Simpsonville, South Carolina first thing on Monday morning to begin installing and starting up my latest custom PLC control panel. 

Here...take a peek...

There are 17 input channels and 21 output channels driving everything from warning lights to valves which open and close while holding back ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY THOUSAND GALLONS of waste water.

It's attached to five of these red things (non-contact ultrasonic level sensors), and two of those blue football looking things (float switches) which are supposed to tell it what is going on where.

It also has a whole bunch of other stuff connected to it about which I won't bore you with the details of, but still....

This is the most complex system I've designed and built to date, and unlike my other systems intended to look at things like plastic bottles moving past my sensors really fast, this one works at a snail's pace but if it screws up there is likely to be a story on "Action News at 5 PM" with the Sheriff and Paramedics and pictures of them dragging me off in a straight-jacket kicking and screaming.

So any wayyyy...We're going to make a leisurely stroll across the Appalachian Mountains and the Eastern Continental Divide through Asheville and Hendersonville this afternoon, stopping for a late lunch/dinner at Sidestreeet Pizza in Tryon, North Carolina before landing for the evening at my old Georgia Tech Bud Rusty's "Prince Hotel" palace in the Greenville/Greer/Spartanburg Metropolitian area. 

Then I suspect that hilarity will ensue as I try to explain to my customer how to make this thing work as expected.

Wish me luck...If you will...