Monday, November 13, 2017

Miracle Toe Jam

Get God's Wealth In Your Pocket

These late night TV commercials for Televangelist Peter Popoff's "Miracle Spring Water" kill me

The testimonials of all of these lovely people saying how they paid this charlatan for their tiny tube of "Miracle Spring Water" and the next day or week or month God sent them a new Benz and $400,000 makes me start thinking about how I can get in on some of this action.

So this morning, Ladies and Gentlemens, I present for the first time on the Internet this new product designed ...for your consumption and my enrichment....

Here's a first look and my "Miracle Toe Jam"...


...available for two easy payments of $19.99 plus S and H.

Get yours today, smear it all over your chest and body, and then just wait sittin' there palpitating while you let God's riches embolden your existence...

My upcoming trip to Aruba is depending on your Faith and Contributions...



Thursday, November 09, 2017

Adult Mac & Cheese

Better than that crap made with Velveta...

Here...cook this recipe I made up myself based on several I found on the Internet and cooked for the second time last night.

I call it "Adult Mac & Cheese", and you'll need:

1 lb spiral rotini pasta...
1/2 medium head of cauliflower, cut into florets


For the b├ęchamel sauce:

1/4 stick of butter
1/4 cup all purpose flour
2 cups half & half
3/4 cup heavy cream
1/4 water

2 cups grated sharp cheddar cheese

1 cup crumbled stinky blue cheese

Panko Bread Crumbs

Now as to putting it all together:

Steam your cauliflower until tender.

Bring 4 quarts of salted water to a boil, add your pasta, and cook until it's al dente.

Meanwhile, you make a light roux...


Melt the butter in a large deep heavy bottom skillet on medium heat.


Stir in the flour a little at a time and stir continuously
for 3 to 5 minutes.


Slowly add your half&half, heavy cream, and water stirring continuously until it thickens slightly.

Now reduce the heat to low and add first the cheddar, then the blue Cheese a little at a time allowing it to melt evenly.

Cook and stir until well blended.

Evenly spread the steamed cauliflower on the bottom of a greased 9"x13" casserole dish.

Add your drained pasta to the sauce and turn to evenly coat, then evenly spread the mixture over the cauliflower and sprinkle a nice even coat of bread crumbs over the top of everything.

Toss in all in a 350 degree F oven for 25 to 30 minutes, finishing under the broiler for a couple minutes to brown.

Now pull that smoldering dish of goodness out and sit it aside to cool, waiting long enough to not burn your tongue and the skin off of the roof of your mouth...

...put generous portions on a plate ....

AND EAT!!!


Regards y'all

"The Redneck Gourmet"

Friday, July 21, 2017

"Rogers Words 'o Advice

Ideas To Live By

Today's topics...

"Mattresses and Toilet Paper"...

This advice isn't needed by everyone I know, but some of you out there (and you know you are) need to hear this stuff.

So here we go...

You spend approximately 1/3 of your life on your mattress, you know?

Don't go down to Big Lots or somewhere and get a $350 king size (or whatever size). Get yourself a Sealy pillow top or Tempur-Pedic or Memory Foam with a good set of box springs.

We've had our king mattress for 8 years and we're looking at a new one. The bad thing about a pillow top is you can flip it end to end but ours can't be flipped all the way over so there's a slight depression shaped like me in it on my side.

JUST DO IT...TREAT YOURSELF TO A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP!

Next topic...

Toilet Paper.

I've gone over to people's houses and found that they were either really cheep else they're stealing their Toilet Paper out of Motel Six or an Indian gas station.

You could sand the finish off of a Chest of Drawers with this stuff.

Don't you RESPECT YOURSELF?

Buy good Toilet Paper.

We prefer plain old Charmin two ply unsented.

CHARMIN..aahh.

It's strong too...

You could make a Suit out of it.

I'm walking around in my Suit and people ask Versace?

No...CHARMIN!!!

I love it, saves money in the end too.

Instead of paying for dry cleaning I just flush it

You understand?

OK, That will be all...for now...

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Bringing Ya'll Up To Date

Life's Quite Different These Days...

Today and for at least the rest of this week temperatures will top 100 degrees F, and about 4PM this afternoon our AC quit.

Just Dammit.

(I'm warm)

Still Alive And Breathing

But Sometimes Just Barely...

It's been a few years since I posted here on my original blog after writing a zillion words in the mid and late 2000's.

Being in a corporate job out here in Tulsa, Oklahoma I honestly the HR or IT idiots would find my rants and I'd get fired so I walked away.

We'll...things have changed and...

I'M BAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKK!

Facebook is driving me crazy and I'm pretty much the only one in my friends group that does anything but cut and paste crap or post baby pictures.

I'm coming back again but it definitely won't be "Trump Trump TRUMP Russia Russia RUSSIA"

I have a full head of steam up...what used to call "having my head spinning at orbital rotational velocity" about Senator McMcain needing to resign IMMEDIATELY to open up his seat after his Brain Cancer Diagnosis was announced yesterday...

and a bunch of other stuff.

Until then...

Regards Ya'll