Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Democratic Rebuttal Scorecard

Years ago, when I was still a young, uninformed moron that spent most of my time working and my free time smoking a bong and watching the evening network news, I used to consider the President’s State of The Union Address a fairly boring exercise

Not any more—I’m going to relish every single word President Bush utters tomorrow night. Then, somewhat reluctantly, I’m going to sit back and cringe my way through the “Democratic Rebuttal.” .

You know, “The Democratic Rebuttal?” Yes, THAT part of the TV broadcast. That’s right, the part following the slanted, biased media analysis when the Democrats trod out some supposedly moderate member of their party (what, you thought that they’d let Ted Kennedy do it himself?) to drone on endlessly about the errors in the President’s statements while they punctuate their standard list of half-truths and leftist talking points.

The only thing positive about enduring the State of the Union Rebuttal phase is the possibility of getting a few good belly laughs and obtaining a potential goldmine of blog topics.

Since some of my readers may still be inclined to partake of smokeable herbs and continue to insist on getting their news from the networks rather (but not Dan Rather) than Fox News, I’ve decided to offer some assistance in understanding how to intelligently view the President’s State of the Union Address.

Just like the newspaper articles published before the Olympics where they tell you about how each sporting event is conducted and outline the scoring of each event, I would like to offer the following scorecard for your use in scoring the content of president’s speech and the obligatory Democratic rebuttal.

First things first. Like the gymnastic, figure skating, or high diving events at the Olympics, there are different degrees of difficulty for each topic addressed that will yield greater points if they intelligently address the issue in a believable manner. There are also points awarded for quality of execution and/or artistic interpretation. You simply write down the points associated with a given issue’s difficulty and then score the execution based on how well it is developed. There are also mandatory topics that must be addressed else you deduct the associated points from the total score as a penalty for the omission.

With that said, let’s get started…

____________ State Of The Union Broadcast Scorecard ______________


PRELIMINARY EVENTS--Domestic Issues (all mandatory)
5 points each


1. The Economy in General--The president will likely say that the economy is booming.

The democrats will flap their arms and cry in their soup. People are starving, you know?

2. Job Creation—The President will brag about the millions of jobs created in the past year.

The Democrats will cry further in their soup over the replacement of high paying rust belt union jobs with herds of four foot tall telecommuting Indian chicks with red dots on their foreheads.

3. Minimum Wages—The President will brag that millions of entrepreneurs have started their own businesses after leaving minimum wage “crutch” jobs they worked after being "downsized" or "outsourced.".

The Democrats will complain that it is impossible to raise a family of five working at McDonalds or as a maid at the Econolodge while at the same time saving enough money to retire to the eastern shore of Jersey.

4. Taxes—The President will point to recent Congressional Budget Office projections of increased tax revenues and projected reductions in the deficit.

The Democrats will lament that, in spite of virtually half of the population being exempt from paying income taxes, "working families" still have to pay sales taxes, property taxes, and gas taxes.

Even worse, the “working poor” are still forced to pay social security taxes, unemployment taxes, and Medicare taxes. It just ain’t fair that the people that consume 99% of these services still have to pay for them--when and if they are employed.

5. Social Security—The President will tout the new Prescription Drug "entitlement" Plan and propose a bold new plan to privatize a part of Social Security and to allow our youngest citizens to eventually opt out entirely.

The Democrats will ask: “Problems with Social Security…what problems…there are no problems with Social Security…well, not at least until a loooonggg time after we are out of office—let them worry about it. (And by the way, HEY GRANDMA—BUSH WANTS TO TAKE AWAY YOUR CHECK SO YOU HAD BETTER VOTE FOR US NEXT TIME…)

6. Welfare—The President will say that fewer and fewer people are spending a lifetime on the Welfare rolls because the economy is booming (see #1 above.)

The Democrats will say that people are out there feeding themselves and their kids dirt and that they can’t afford their daily 64 oz bottles of Schlitz malt liquer while wearing the $200 Nikes and sporting the latest new gold tooth…Oh the Humanity!

7. Education vis a vis “No Child Left Behind”—The President will say that we just need to spend more money on education and everything will be OK.

The Democrats, while vehemently disagreeing with the President, will say that if we just spend more money on education that everything will be OK.

8. Illegal Immigration—The president will offer to tattoo a small likeness of his brother Jeb on the forehead of every illegal worker in the US in an effort to set “guest worker” documentation standards for employers.

The Democrats will offer to buy every illegal immigrant family a lowered F-150 pickup with 20” spinner rims and their name in shiny fancy letters on the back window.

As an option, for those "undocumented workers" with families larger than 8, they can get a low mileage van or SUV if they will promise to immediately drive their friends and family back to where ever they came from and not come back until it's time to help get a Democrat elected president.


EXTRA CREDIT—World Issues (10 Points Each)

I. The War in Iraq

A. Reasons for the war—Since the President has covered this ground so many times previously that he is walking in a hip-deep ditch when he goes over it again, he intentionally omits the topic. (Automatic 10 point deduct)

The Democrats utter their classic Ted Kennedy hit: Lies, lies, and more lies. (Al Gore makes a special guest appearance to sing his hit tune “They Betrayed Us…)

B. The recent Iraqi election—The President will extol the 60% voter turnout and low levels of terror attacks.

The Democrats will demand a hand recount (what, they counted by hand already?) and Jessie Jackson will lament the disenfranchisement of Black Muslim voters.

C. Exit Strategy—The President will insist that we are in Iraq to finish what we started.

The Democrats, declaring the “War on Terror” as being over with, will insist on an immediate invasion of Jamaica in an unprecedented ramping up of the “War on Drugs.” Ted Kennedy will demonstrate evidence examination by smoking a water pipe.

II. Iran—The President will sing his new hit song “Ayatollah” which sounds surprisingly like the tune to the Knacks’ 1979 hit song My Sharona. British Prime Minister Tony Blair will make a guest appearance to lip sync the words on the second verse.

The Democrats won’t be able to resist singing the backup vocals to the Presidents song. Hey, at least they all agreed on something…what we call a "bi-partisan" effort at last.

III. Syria—The second verse of the President’s "Ayatollah" song will cover this topic.

The Democrats will state emphatically that there are no WMD’s in Syria because Germany and France told them so

IV. Korea—The third verse of "Ayatollah" will address the President's fantasy of covering Kim Jong Il (and Fidel Castro) with Crisco (can you say Crisco Castro five times real fast?) and throwing them buck-naked into the Gorilla habitat at the Atlanta Zoo. A new form of détente, perhaps?

The Democrats will place an emergency call to Jimmy Carter and tattle…

V. China—The President omits this topic because the network censors refused to allow him to lip-sync the Vapors’ song I’m Turning Japanese (and besides, the topic was China, not Japan--and no, all Orientals do NOT look the same to Texans.)

VI. Israel/Palistine—The president places a checkered table cloth on his head and does his best Yasser Arafat impression. The Secrete Service arrests Howard Dean for wrestling President Bush to the ground in an effort to obtain what he believes to be Arafat’s autograph.

The Democrats then send Senator Robert “pretty pretty” Byrd running through the room in his grand dragon costume screaming “THERE WAS NO HOLOCAUST” at the top of his lungs. The Secret Service has to re-restrain a howling, salivating Howard Dean.

VII. The EU and the United Nations were intentionally omitted from the president's speech. (Deduct 20 points)

The Democrats send John Kerry and Ted Kennedy tap dancing through the room offering to kiss the ass of anyone from any country other than the US.
____________________________________________________________

Well, that about covers it, ladies and gentlemen—my State of The Union Broadcast Scorecard.

A veritable consumers guide to the President’s State of the Union Address. Let’s all go watch it and then check back later and tell me how it did.

This should be fun…

I Told You So

Back on January 4th in my posting United We Stand I talked about President Bush appointing his father, George H.W. Bush, and Bill Clinton to lead the Tsunami fundraising effort. It seemed a good idea to me.

At that time I also opined:

“I will even give the president credit for including the pantyhose-commander-in-chief Bill Clinton in a bipartisan effort to raise money. Actually, I don’t mind seeing Clinton’s gigantic mouth and ego brought to bear to publicly ask all of the compassionate left wing liberal elite and the Hollywood misfits like Barbara Streisand to put their money where their mouths typically are.

I also expect Clinton to not pass up the opportunity to get a few digs in against his Bush/Republican benefactors and inevitably make the process all about him. He just can’t help himself.

And then there is the UN and Kofi Annan. What a waste of oxygen.”

Well, it took less than one month, but Kofi and Bill have finally gotten together to make my prediction come true and it really is all about Kofi and Bill.

And guess what-- George Bush Sr. isn't invited to their party...

It would seem that Kofi has appointed Bill Clinton to be the "UN point man" for tsunami reconstruction and ensure that the world doesn't forget the immense needs of the countries devastated by the Dec. 26 disaster, a well-informed U.N. diplomat said Tuesday.”

Well isn’t that special.

And aren't I good??? I told you something like this would happen a month ago...

Cough It Up

It really pissed me off last year that our tax dollars were used to pay a bunch of United States Senators and other Congressmen that were chronically absent from their high paying jobs while running political campaigns for President.

I have previously complained about this issue and I wondered if there wasn’t something that could be done about it. Remember that Senator Bob Dole resigned his seat prior to the 1996 campaign and, when he lost the presidential election, he was out of a job?

Not so with the jackass-war-hero-commander-in-chief-want-a-be Senator John Kerry. He is still looming over the lives of the citizens of Massachusetts that elected him and intruding into all of our lives on a national basis as a result of staying in office durring the campaign. He was virtually invisible for most of 2004 on the floor of the US Senate (although that might be considered by most in a positive light.)

Well, good news people...there is hope after all.

According to The Washington Times Insider edition, there is a law that can and should be used to make Kerry and others pay back their unearned government income.

"Several lawmakers on Capitol Hill, including Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry and his vice presidential running mate, former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards, have broken a federal statute by pocketing thousands of dollars in salary while being away from their jobs during 2003 and 2004."

" An obscure federal statute requires congressional absentees to forfeit pay unless they or a family member are ill, but some lawmakers seem reluctant to comply, says the National Taxpayers Union."

"The NTU says "chronically absent" members of the 108th Congress, besides Mr. Kerry and Mr. Edwards, include Democratic presidential candidates Bob Graham, former senator of Florida; Sen. Joe Lieberman of Connecticut; former House Minority Leader Richard A. Gephardt of Missouri; and Rep. Dennis J. Kucinich of Ohio."

"And there's numerous other sitting senators and congressmen -- too many to list here -- who improperly accepted salaries while off stumping for votes."

"The NTU says compliance with 2 U.S. Code 39 (Title 2, Chapter 3, section 39--VRR), requiring the secretary of the Senate and the chief administrative officer of the House of Representatives to deduct congressional salary for days of unexcused absences, has been sparse, but not nonexistent. "

"In 1971, Representative Edwin Edwards abided by the no-work, no-pay law while running for Louisiana governor," says the nonpartisan union."

" And while federal law does not require presidents to forfeit their pay while seeking re-election, the NTU notes that George W. Bush relinquished his governor's salary for days spent outside Texas campaigning for president in 2000."

I, personally, am contacting Emily Reynolds, the Secretary of the Senate, and Clerk of the House of Representatives and asking that this law be enforced.

What are you going to do?

Monday, January 31, 2005

Meanwhile, back in the USA

(Anyone got a form 180?)

The Iraqis have just survived their first election in over a half century. I’m really proud for them and wish them good luck in completing the upcoming development of a written constitution and secondary elections scheduled for later this year.

It is a crying shame that we here in the good ole’ USA have nearly perfected the art of taking our own Constitution, Bill of Rights, and Republican form of government for granted. You do know that the US is not a Democracy, but rather (but not Dan Rather) it is a Representative Republic?

Democracy is equal to mob rule and our founding fathers were careful to try to help us avoid that horrible fate. Yet, according to the leftists and socialists in our midst, there is still hope to fully accomplish the transition to Democracy. That is why they want to abolish the Electoral College. I hope they fail in this effort.

And speaking of leftists losers in the Electoral College, John Kerry was sitting on the hot seat this morning on the NBC News program ”Meet The Press”. The moderator, Tim Russert, was actually asking some serious questions (where was he last summer), like the ones in this exchange about Kerry’s failure to release all of his military records:

MR. RUSSERT: Many people who've been criticizing you have said: Senator, if you would just do one thing and that is sign Form 180, which would allow historians and journalists complete access to all your military records. Thus far, you have gotten the records, released them through your campaign. They say you should not be the filter. Sign Form 180 and let the historians...

SEN. KERRY: I'd be happy to put the records out. We put all the records out that I had been sent by the military. Then at the last moment, they sent some more stuff, which had some things that weren't even relevant to the record. (emphasis mine—VR) So when we get--I'm going to sit down with them and make sure that they are clear and I am clear as to what is in the record and what isn't in the record and we'll put it out. I have no problem with that.

MR. RUSSERT: Would you sign Form 180?

SEN. KERRY: But everything, Tim...

MR. RUSSERT: Would you sign Form 180?

SEN. KERRY: Yes, I will. But everything that we put in it, Tim--everything we put in--I mean, everything that was out was a full documentation of all of the medical records, all of the fitness reports. And I'd call on those who have challenged me, let's see their records. I want to see the records of each of those people who have put up a challenge, because some of them have some serious questions in them, and it hasn't been appropriate...

MR. RUSSERT: So they should sign Form 180s for themselves as well?

SEN. KERRY: You bet.

MR. RUSSERT: Jerome Corsi, the co-author of this book, says he's moving to Massachusetts and will run against you for the U.S. Senate in 2008.

SEN. KERRY: Well, that's terrific. I'm not thinking about 2008 right now, but he can do whatever he wants.

MR. RUSSERT: Will you run for re-election in the Senate in 2008?

SEN. KERRY: Tim, I'm not thinking about 2008 right now. I'm really focused on what we're doing now. I'm excited about what I'm doing now. There are any number of potential things that I may wind up doing, and I'm going to keep all my options open.

MR. RUSSERT: Including running for president?

SEN. KERRY: I'll keep all my options open.

You’re damn right you better keep all of your options open, Senator Kerry.

As I wrote back on October 25, 2004 in my post A Fundamental Test of Leadership, I believe that enough questions have been raised about Kerry’s military service and overall truthfulness to seriously jeopardize his ability to be re-elected to the Senate in Massachusetts in 2008.

Kerry should be frightened to death of any Senate campaign conducted by the Swift Vets, individually or collectively. Jerome Corsi is qualified to serve in the senate and is quite capable of making things very difficult and embarrassing for Kerry, particularly if the media will get off of their butts and seriously look into the allegations that are floating around out there.

Kerry has always previously answered questions about his service records with the statement that his campaign had “…put all the records out that I had been sent by the military.” He apparently only requested that his fitness reports and his medical records be released, through his campaign.

By signing Form 180, like President Bush did last spring during the Texas Air National Guard media witch hunt, Kerry could allow the military to make his all of his records available directly to any specific news agencies that he designates. He has not to date done so.

And now he suddenly adds a new twist to the old theme. Then at the last moment, they sent some more stuff, which had some things that weren't even relevant to the record. (emphasis mine—VRR) So when we get--I'm going to sit down with them and make sure that they are clear and I am clear as to what is in the record and what isn't in the record and we'll put it out. I have no problem with that.”

So let me get this straight Mr. Kerry, are you saying that you don’t know what information is in your military records, or are you implying that they are somehow “contaminated” with inaccurate or irrelevant information? And what do you mean by new information being released at the last minute before the November election? Was it hours, days, weeks, or months?

Horse hockey… Let me cut to the chase here, folks.

KERRY MOST DEFINITELY HAS SOMETHING TO HIDE. There is no other explanation for his failure to fully release his military service records.

I believe, based on rumors that have been bouncing around the internet for at least a year, that it is possible that Kerry received a less than honorable discharge from the Navy in 1972. He might have actually received a dishonorable discharge for his anti-war activities conducted while still serving in the Navy Reserve.

IF, and it is a big if, his discharge was dishonorable, it would have caused him to be stripped of his right to wear his uniform, the loss of all of his ribbons and medals (you know…the ribbons and metals that he threw over the fence at the white house?) and it would have resulted in the loss of all of his post discharge benefits like retirement benefits, VA medical services, PX privileges, etc.

Why else would Kerry have received an Honorable Discharge on March 12, 2001 from the administration of the pantyhose-raider-in-chief Bill Clinton? As a result of the “sanitized” discharge, Kerry would have had his medals and benefits reinstated.

I have no proof of the accuracy of the scenario causing the 29 year gap between Kerry actually leaving the service in 1972 and receiving the discharge in 2001, but it will be interesting to follow the Kerry saga over the next few years. This should be fun…

Of course, Kerry could eliminate all questions and lingering doubt by signing form 180, but he won’t.

I’ll gladly eat crow if I’m wrong, but I’m going to scream “I TOLD YOU SO” at the top of my lungs if I’m right.

I’m right…

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Ali Says It All

Ali over at Free Iraq voted this morning, then came back and wrote this passage:

"Last night I couldn't sleep well. I was so excited and I wanted to be at the voting center before it even opens its door. I was afraid that I was going to be among a minority who are going to vote, but I was still very happy for rather a different reason. It's that just as I care about the outcome of this election and that democracy would work in Iraq, I cared no less about voting on a personal level. This was my way to stand against those who humiliated me, my family and my friends. It was my way of saying," You're history and you don't scare me anymore". It was my way to scream in the face of all tyrants, not just Saddam and his Ba'athists and tell them, "I don't want to be your, or anyone's slave. You have kept me in your jail all my life but you never owned my soul". It was my way of finally facing my fears and finding my courage and my humanity again."

Go read his whole posting.

I’m humbled...

Media Snubbed by IECI

I was wondering why there are not more pictures on TV this morning showing the reported crowds outside the polling places in Iraq. Almost all you see is occasional footage of some VIP or unidentified person folding the giant ballot in half so that it will fit in the big plastic Rubbermaid “ballot box.”

I though about the situation a little bit and here is what I have decided.

The main reason for the limited coverage is that most of the reporters and news crews are too chicken shit scared to stand around outside the polling places because of the obvious threat of attack. They are content to sit in the Baghdad Hilton and report second hand news from their “trusted sources.”

With rare exception, this is the way that the news talking heads have reported most of the news to date anyway. You know the script…a) wait for a nearby bombing…b) dash out from your hotel room with a microphone and camera…c) deliver a hand wringing commentary with the rising plume of smoke in the background over your left or right shoulder...d) you get extra credit if there is a school or mosque in the footage. Oh the humanity!!

I am SO tired of those type reports!

The guys over at The Friends of Democracy give us all some additional insight. It seems that the Independent Election Comission of Iraq changed the rules at the last minute regarding the credentials required of reporters to gain access INSIDE the polling places.

“The IECI in Al Samawa reaffirmed its interdiction to allow newsmen to enter voting centers except by a special permit form the IECI in Baghdad. The IECI had asked newsmen last week to present special documents with photos and introduction letters from their organism."

"However it changed its decision one day before elections and admitted only those who had permits from Baghdad. The IECI in Al Samawa has had problems in its work because of non cooperation by the media institutions.”

Hummmhh…NON COOPERATION BY THE MEDIA INSTITUTIONS?

Well, I wonder what that means?

Could it be that the Iraqis are on to the tactics of the leftist American and World media?

Could it be that the Iraqis are tired of the endless negative reporting about the conditions in Iraq in general and the situation surrounding the elections?

Could it be that the Iraqis do not want the media filming detailed video of voters that could be used tomorrow or next week by Al Qaeda to target people that voted?

You're damn right that it COULD BE….

Good job IECI...and...

Good luck Iraq!!


Update: January 30, 2005 at 7:00 am

After further thought, there is one more "Could it be that"...

Could it be that the IECI saw the way our domestic media handled their so-called "exit polling" here in the US last November?

Is there any wonder that they wouldn't want all but a select few reporters to stay miles away from their first democratic voting process to be held in the last 50 years?

Two hours until the polls close...Good Luck Iraq

Ali Makes Me Jealous

Check out Ali over at Free Iraq who has hopefully cast his vote and safely returned home by now.

Ali makes me jealous because his two month old blog has already had over 91,000 total readers, 13,479 readers this week, and over 1,000 readers today.

Meanwhile, CNN is running flashback news footage of a March 4, 2004 roadside bombing that killed hundreds in Kabala. Lots of dead bodies and whailing relatives...

What I want to know is, what is the %$#@* point, CNN? What does old bombing footage have to do with today's vote? I guess that since there hasn't been a major assault today they have to resort to reruns...

I've got to get busy doing a better job writing so I can catch up with Ali…

BBC Reporters (B)log Iraqi Elections

The BBC has an article on their web site written in blog style, although they seem to have an aversion to writing the word BLOG so they use the word LOG in their headline.

Their latest posting (4:28 AM EST, 9:28 GMT) mentions a suicide bomber killing himself (blowing off his own head and arms) while killing only one other civilian outside a polling place. Of course the reporter had gone back to his military base to eat when the explosion occurred and belatedly filed his report after he returned to his post.

Not to appear crass or insensitive but, actually, I like these odds. If a terrorist walks in with an SKS rifle he can in theory kill a dozen or more people and escape the scene to kill another day. At least these wild eyed “insurgents” are ending their killing career upon the initiation of their first assault.

I'm sure that there is a special place in eternity for the innocent Iraqis who give their lives in the name of freedom. By providing a target for these terrorists, they are most definitely saving the lives of others, just as a Marine might save the lives of his fellow Marines by falling on a hand grenade in a fox hole.

I just hope that there isn’t some spectacular “Big Bang” planned for later today

Good Luck Iraq…

Walking To Freedom

It looks like I will be up all night tonight watching and bloging the Iraqi election coverage on TV. What is most interesting, but not in the least surprising, is that there appears to be two elections going on in Iraq, depending on whether you are watching CNN or FOX News.

I tend to believe the events reported on FOX News.

The polls opened at 11:00 PM EST and what started out as a trickle is quickly turning into a torrent. In spite of three or four suicide bombers and a few mortar attacks, no US troops have been killed and in spite of the handful of Iraqi casualties, the people are still standing in line.

And we bitch and complain when we have to wait a hour to vote here in the US? It sort of puts a new twist on the right to vote, doesn’t it?

FOX just reported that because of security concerns the voting place near Abu Gharib was relocated at the last minute to a building 13 miles away from local villagers. To make matters worse, vehicles are restricted on the roads in that area and most locals are too poor to even own a car.

But guess what? One of our unmanned aerial drones has taken pictures of HUNDREDS OF CITIZENS WALKING DOWN THE ROAD—13 MILES--TO GET TO THE VOTING PLACE. Apparently the numbers are growing by the minute.

What is really sad is that many slack ass Americans wouldn’t have the physical stamina to walk 13 miles to pick up a lottery prize, let alone make the journey to vote in a presidential election.

Every legal voter here in the US should be ashamed of themselves if they ever miss another election again.