With A Heat Index of 106...
OK, I'm going to do my duty and wander out to the swimming pool now--newspaper in hand.
I just may sweat through the front page before I get there.
If you don't hear from me again by midnight, would someone please call 911 or the Coast Guard or OSHA or something...I'll probably be the wrinkled bloated mass conspicuously found laying on the bottom...
of the SHALLOW end...
Correction:
Oh well, while I wasn't looking a nice little thunderstorm formed over the marsh to the west and is in the process of blowing across the island now.
I guess now that I'll read my paper on the sofa and watch the birdseed debris get washed off of the patio...
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Friday, August 11, 2006
Say That You Care
Send A Free Card To A Soldier...
How about going to this Xerox website: http://www.letssaythanks.com/Home.html
and clicking on a couple of things there
In doing so, you'd be sending a Thank You note to one of our vets overseas.
Just in case you don't know and have never been out of the country in the military ( I actually have), it really sucks not getting any mail--even junk mail--and a card would be a nice pick-me-up for someone living in a tent or on a ship with a bunch of other sweaty guys and gals.
Just a thought...
How about going to this Xerox website: http://www.letssaythanks.com/Home.html
and clicking on a couple of things there
In doing so, you'd be sending a Thank You note to one of our vets overseas.
Just in case you don't know and have never been out of the country in the military ( I actually have), it really sucks not getting any mail--even junk mail--and a card would be a nice pick-me-up for someone living in a tent or on a ship with a bunch of other sweaty guys and gals.
Just a thought...
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
If You’re Stupid, an Idiot, or Otherwise Up to Something…Get Ready To Be Offended
I just opened Yahoo to take a look at my E-mail, and here were the evening's headlines:
• British foil plan to blow up jetliners
• U.S. posts code-red alert; bans liquids
• Passengers can expect double screening
• New Orleans residents frayed by stress
• More Indian states ban colas over pesticides
• 'Night-eating syndrome' risky for diabetics
• Dixie Chicks skip Deep South on latest tour
Go read each of the stories, then come back and let's have a little chat if you have the time.
Are you back so soon?
I'm sorry, but I think that finally, after years of threats and predictions, upon reading these stories, that my head may actually EXPLODE.
Why?
Well, let’s examine this listing of so-called “News Stories” for a moment…shall we, and let me show you what I mean.
First there is “British foil pan to blow up jetliners”
Simple enough, we’ve all been bombarded with the story and its details all day Thursday.
Then things go down hill from there, however.
“U.S. posts code-red alert; bans liquids…”
Like I’m going to jump on ASA (the Delta Connection) going from here to Atlanta or from Jacksonville to Orlando with a specimen bottle full of nitro, jump up, yell ALLAH BE ‘DA MAN, and ignite myself and the aforementioned bottle with my cigarette lighter.
What kills me is the next headline…”Passengers can expect double screening”
Yeah, Riiiight, let not one…but two mindless morons that are prevented by the PC police and government mandate from double checking young towel head clad Muslim males have me touching my toes and doing endoschopic exams along with my middle aged girlfriend and my MOTHER, before we all board the airplane.
What a complete and total waste of time and energy.
Try stopping this maneuver…I’LL be the bottle…I’ll turn myself into a human flamethrower.
I’ll just drink the nitroglycerin, rip out a box of ‘strike anywhere matches”, and pee a giant flaming stream into the aircraft’s cockpit and onto the boarding ramp as a personal expression of my lack of respect for the entire process that the Anglo/American public is being put though while our government officials should be spending time and money looking for YOUNG ARAB MEN THAT HAVE BEEN BRAINWASHED INTO BECOMING TERRORISTS.
"Just leave your breast pumps and infant children at home and everything will be AOK"
Next we have the “New Orleans residents frayed by stress…” story...take a look at that BS....
I say Screw the New Orleans residents...at least the ones that are still complaining on the evening news--we’ve tossed billions in cash and wasted tons of newsprint and ink on their sorry asses, it’s time that they stood up and got on with life.
Now we come to “More Indian states ban Colas over pesticides…”
Three states previously imposed bans similar to the one in Karnataka after the Delhi-based Centre for Science and Environment (CSE) said it had found an average pesticide residue of 11.85 parts per billion in 57 samples of Coca-Cola and PepsiCo drinks produced in 12 states.
Those pesticide levels are 24 times higher than limits agreed, but not yet enforced, by the Bureau of Indian Standards.
"There are lots of reports which prove that these drinks have certain ingredients that are harmful to the human body," Kerala's chief minister, V.S. Achuthanandan, told reporters after a cabinet meeting approved the ban.
Last week, the Indian units of the two beverage companies said their drinks were safe and they held consumer safety paramount.
I don’t know about you, but I personally have a tolerance level of 0% pesticide in the soft drinks which I drink. In fact, I add alcohol as a disinfectant to almost everything I drink—just to be certain that when I die, that I’ll die of something that I chose to die from.
Now we come to “Night eating syndrome risky for diabetics.”
I think that this headline single handedly proves that not only is the media stupid, but most readers are stupid.
“Night Eating Syndrone?”
What the heck Is that…and how the heck does one get it…let alone diagnosis it?
When I was in my twenties, I guess that you could say that I had “Tail Chasing Syndrome.”
Then, in my thirties, I had “cash chasing syndrome” or possibly “running away from the tail that I had caught syndrome.”
Now I have “Syndrome syndrome.”
I guess that you could say that I'm my own worst enemy.
Finally, the last headline mentions that the DixieTwits Chicks are skipping the “deep south” on their latest concert tour.
Isn’t that sorta like a Professional Hockey team skipping cities in Canada during their season?
Yes, I thought so....so like I said earlier...
AHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I just opened Yahoo to take a look at my E-mail, and here were the evening's headlines:
• British foil plan to blow up jetliners
• U.S. posts code-red alert; bans liquids
• Passengers can expect double screening
• New Orleans residents frayed by stress
• More Indian states ban colas over pesticides
• 'Night-eating syndrome' risky for diabetics
• Dixie Chicks skip Deep South on latest tour
Go read each of the stories, then come back and let's have a little chat if you have the time.
Are you back so soon?
I'm sorry, but I think that finally, after years of threats and predictions, upon reading these stories, that my head may actually EXPLODE.
Why?
Well, let’s examine this listing of so-called “News Stories” for a moment…shall we, and let me show you what I mean.
First there is “British foil pan to blow up jetliners”
Simple enough, we’ve all been bombarded with the story and its details all day Thursday.
Then things go down hill from there, however.
“U.S. posts code-red alert; bans liquids…”
Like I’m going to jump on ASA (the Delta Connection) going from here to Atlanta or from Jacksonville to Orlando with a specimen bottle full of nitro, jump up, yell ALLAH BE ‘DA MAN, and ignite myself and the aforementioned bottle with my cigarette lighter.
What kills me is the next headline…”Passengers can expect double screening”
Yeah, Riiiight, let not one…but two mindless morons that are prevented by the PC police and government mandate from double checking young towel head clad Muslim males have me touching my toes and doing endoschopic exams along with my middle aged girlfriend and my MOTHER, before we all board the airplane.
What a complete and total waste of time and energy.
Try stopping this maneuver…I’LL be the bottle…I’ll turn myself into a human flamethrower.
I’ll just drink the nitroglycerin, rip out a box of ‘strike anywhere matches”, and pee a giant flaming stream into the aircraft’s cockpit and onto the boarding ramp as a personal expression of my lack of respect for the entire process that the Anglo/American public is being put though while our government officials should be spending time and money looking for YOUNG ARAB MEN THAT HAVE BEEN BRAINWASHED INTO BECOMING TERRORISTS.
"Just leave your breast pumps and infant children at home and everything will be AOK"
Next we have the “New Orleans residents frayed by stress…” story...take a look at that BS....
I say Screw the New Orleans residents...at least the ones that are still complaining on the evening news--we’ve tossed billions in cash and wasted tons of newsprint and ink on their sorry asses, it’s time that they stood up and got on with life.
Now we come to “More Indian states ban Colas over pesticides…”
Three states previously imposed bans similar to the one in Karnataka after the Delhi-based Centre for Science and Environment (CSE) said it had found an average pesticide residue of 11.85 parts per billion in 57 samples of Coca-Cola and PepsiCo drinks produced in 12 states.
Those pesticide levels are 24 times higher than limits agreed, but not yet enforced, by the Bureau of Indian Standards.
"There are lots of reports which prove that these drinks have certain ingredients that are harmful to the human body," Kerala's chief minister, V.S. Achuthanandan, told reporters after a cabinet meeting approved the ban.
Last week, the Indian units of the two beverage companies said their drinks were safe and they held consumer safety paramount.
I don’t know about you, but I personally have a tolerance level of 0% pesticide in the soft drinks which I drink. In fact, I add alcohol as a disinfectant to almost everything I drink—just to be certain that when I die, that I’ll die of something that I chose to die from.
Now we come to “Night eating syndrome risky for diabetics.”
I think that this headline single handedly proves that not only is the media stupid, but most readers are stupid.
“Night Eating Syndrone?”
What the heck Is that…and how the heck does one get it…let alone diagnosis it?
When I was in my twenties, I guess that you could say that I had “Tail Chasing Syndrome.”
Then, in my thirties, I had “cash chasing syndrome” or possibly “running away from the tail that I had caught syndrome.”
Now I have “Syndrome syndrome.”
I guess that you could say that I'm my own worst enemy.
Finally, the last headline mentions that the Dixie
Isn’t that sorta like a Professional Hockey team skipping cities in Canada during their season?
Yes, I thought so....so like I said earlier...
AHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Two Years & Counting
Can You Believe What I Started?
Then Let Me say it again...
AS OF TODAY...I'VE DONE NOT ONE...
BUT...
TWO YEARS OF BLOGGING
First there was the one year milestone.
Wooo Hooooooo
Then there was the 10,000 hit milestone.
Yippie Yeeeeeeeee.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, we all got together and got to 20,000 hits, me doing the writing...and YOU doing the readin'.
That was quite special, at least it was for ME.
We'll...guess what y'all?
Today this blog is TWO YEARS OLD.
What do you think of that?
I think that I'll just take the day off, and republish the posting that follows...
Then Let Me say it again...
AS OF TODAY...I'VE DONE NOT ONE...
BUT...
TWO YEARS OF BLOGGING
First there was the one year milestone.
Wooo Hooooooo
Then there was the 10,000 hit milestone.
Yippie Yeeeeeeeee.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, we all got together and got to 20,000 hits, me doing the writing...and YOU doing the readin'.
That was quite special, at least it was for ME.
We'll...guess what y'all?
Today this blog is TWO YEARS OLD.
What do you think of that?
I think that I'll just take the day off, and republish the posting that follows...
NASCAR Hype (Revisited)
My Favorite Posting Of All Time--Slightly Edited--From August 12, 2004
Did I ever mention that I enjoy watching an occasional NASCAR race?
Actually, I’ve followed the sport of stock car racin' since I was a kid in the 1960’s, when it was still in its infancy (by today’s standards,) and guys like Bobby Allison and Richard Petty drove cars that were actually built on the same assembly line beside the ones that parked in your neighbors’ driveway.
Back then the race cars actually looked like the vehicles in the dealers’ showrooms—except for the 600 horsepower engine under the real steel hood, the roll bars, the lack of a back seat, the "STP" & "Hooker Header" stickers on the fenders, and the big numbers plastered on the doors and the roof.
Come to think of it some of our neighbors in south Alabama had all the stickers and the roll bars and no back seat.
I guess you had to be there to understand.
In those days there was very little TV exposure except regionally for the really big races like Daytona and Talladega—the Indy 500 was the only race of any kind regularly televised nationally back then.
If you got north of or west of Tennessee and hooted and hollered and yelled “THREE” in public, no one knew what on earth you were talking about, let alone would they be willing to fight you over whether Dale Earnhart or one of the Allison's clan was the better driver.
Today things are quite different.
Today total strangers will beat your Grandma if she happens to ‘dis their driver in public.
From New Hampshire to California, from Michigan to Homestead Florida, people are fighting in traffic and willingly paying seventy five or more dollars to attend NASCAR races--events that represent probably the most commercialized 6 hours you will ever, ever, ever, endure in a lifetime, with the singular possible exception of Christmas each year.
What really gets me is the TV interviews they do with the drivers and pit crewmembers.
The interviewee is always forced to use the name of sponsors, car owners and other suppliers as every other word in each sentence.
“Thanks Bill, I couldn’t have driven this Ronnie’s Pulpwood Bubba’s Garage Dodge Charger all 500 laps here at the Trojan Condoms Raceway without the help of them super Goodyear tires while quenching my thirst drinking some of that good ‘ole Gatorade sports refresher.”
After each race, the driver finally gets to Victory Lane after tearing up almost all of the grass in sight doing donuts and burn-outs, and when he exits the car, having pulled off a logo adorned helmet the size of a beach ball, he then is forced to put on a baseball cap with some other logo on it.
Then they line up soft drink and sports drink bottles and other consumer products on the roof of the car behind his head and body-less hands and arms appear in the TV picture to force feed him various drinks from prominently labeled bottles to the point he can barely answer the questions being offered by the TV reporter.
I just can't stand to watch...
Imagine if the early explorers like Columbus, Cook, or Byrd were forced to submit to this kind of TV coverage and did interviews and had product sponsors like NASCAR has today?
I know there was no TV back then, but just imagine if there was?
Columbus’ return from the new world could have gone something like this:
Headphone-Clad Announcer: “So tell the viewers, Chris, are you glad to be back here in civilization?”
Columbus: "Well I’ll tell you, Vito, we definitely wouldn’t be here in first today at the Pope Pius IX Marina if it weren’t for the performance of our fine vessils--the Guido's Shipyard Queen Isabella Ragu Spaghetti Beteroulli Olive Oil Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria. They just sailed so smoothly."
"Of course, we did loose the Pinta about half way home due to engine failure."
Headphone-Clad Announcer: "Engine Failure?"
Columbus: "Yeah, the sails, they blew right off her in a storm, they did…it was really something to see!"
Headphone-Clad Announcer: “What about that incident at the midpoint of the trip with the native’s canoe outside the Virgin Islands—are you going to hold a grudge with him on the next excursion to the New World?”
Columbus: “No, I don’t think so, we just love sailing, and things happen when you are going eight or ten knots. This Guido’s Custom Shipyard built fleet of ships just ran right over those itty-bitty dugout canoes—I think that Indian is still swimming home right now. He won’t be no trouble in a year or so when we’re over that way again.”
Headphone-Clad Announcer: “Did you ever think that you and your crew wouldn’t make it back here to Europe?”
Columbus: "No, not at all. We all had every confidence that these Queen Isabella Guido's Shipyard Italian Solid Oak ships and Mercury Vesevius outboard sails had the muscle to keep us in the lead most of the trip and bring us on home safely…but, by the way, there was that one incident when the Indian Chief caught me with his youngest daughter…boy was she ever a hotsie-totsie…"
Headphone-Clad Announcer: "A Hotsie-totsie?"
Columbus: "Yes, boy o boy, breasts out to here and legs down to there..."
"Whew wee, I didn’t know if I was going to make it back with my skin intact let alone off that island that night…er, um, never mind…forget what I just said… sorry honey, I'll be right home.”
Headphone-Clad Announcer: "Where do you see yourself and your crew going from here, Mr. Columbus?"
Columbus: "Well, you see that there moon up there in the sky?"
Headphone-Clad Announcer: "The Moon?"
Columbus: "Yes, well, we’re working with this guy named daVinci, you may have heard of him, on this new kind of ship and boy I tell you, she beats the heck out of the speed and power of these babies we just got off of. We ask the fans to just watch the news in a few hundred years and see what we’re doing."
"It will definitely make your head spin...
It will indeed."
Headphone-Clad Announcer: "Well, there you have it ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here first…now back to you in the studio in Madrid, Mr. Jennings…"
Did I ever mention that I enjoy watching an occasional NASCAR race?
Actually, I’ve followed the sport of stock car racin' since I was a kid in the 1960’s, when it was still in its infancy (by today’s standards,) and guys like Bobby Allison and Richard Petty drove cars that were actually built on the same assembly line beside the ones that parked in your neighbors’ driveway.
Back then the race cars actually looked like the vehicles in the dealers’ showrooms—except for the 600 horsepower engine under the real steel hood, the roll bars, the lack of a back seat, the "STP" & "Hooker Header" stickers on the fenders, and the big numbers plastered on the doors and the roof.
Come to think of it some of our neighbors in south Alabama had all the stickers and the roll bars and no back seat.
I guess you had to be there to understand.
In those days there was very little TV exposure except regionally for the really big races like Daytona and Talladega—the Indy 500 was the only race of any kind regularly televised nationally back then.
If you got north of or west of Tennessee and hooted and hollered and yelled “THREE” in public, no one knew what on earth you were talking about, let alone would they be willing to fight you over whether Dale Earnhart or one of the Allison's clan was the better driver.
Today things are quite different.
Today total strangers will beat your Grandma if she happens to ‘dis their driver in public.
From New Hampshire to California, from Michigan to Homestead Florida, people are fighting in traffic and willingly paying seventy five or more dollars to attend NASCAR races--events that represent probably the most commercialized 6 hours you will ever, ever, ever, endure in a lifetime, with the singular possible exception of Christmas each year.
What really gets me is the TV interviews they do with the drivers and pit crewmembers.
The interviewee is always forced to use the name of sponsors, car owners and other suppliers as every other word in each sentence.
“Thanks Bill, I couldn’t have driven this Ronnie’s Pulpwood Bubba’s Garage Dodge Charger all 500 laps here at the Trojan Condoms Raceway without the help of them super Goodyear tires while quenching my thirst drinking some of that good ‘ole Gatorade sports refresher.”
After each race, the driver finally gets to Victory Lane after tearing up almost all of the grass in sight doing donuts and burn-outs, and when he exits the car, having pulled off a logo adorned helmet the size of a beach ball, he then is forced to put on a baseball cap with some other logo on it.
Then they line up soft drink and sports drink bottles and other consumer products on the roof of the car behind his head and body-less hands and arms appear in the TV picture to force feed him various drinks from prominently labeled bottles to the point he can barely answer the questions being offered by the TV reporter.
I just can't stand to watch...
Imagine if the early explorers like Columbus, Cook, or Byrd were forced to submit to this kind of TV coverage and did interviews and had product sponsors like NASCAR has today?
I know there was no TV back then, but just imagine if there was?
Columbus’ return from the new world could have gone something like this:
Headphone-Clad Announcer: “So tell the viewers, Chris, are you glad to be back here in civilization?”
Columbus: "Well I’ll tell you, Vito, we definitely wouldn’t be here in first today at the Pope Pius IX Marina if it weren’t for the performance of our fine vessils--the Guido's Shipyard Queen Isabella Ragu Spaghetti Beteroulli Olive Oil Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria. They just sailed so smoothly."
"Of course, we did loose the Pinta about half way home due to engine failure."
Headphone-Clad Announcer: "Engine Failure?"
Columbus: "Yeah, the sails, they blew right off her in a storm, they did…it was really something to see!"
Headphone-Clad Announcer: “What about that incident at the midpoint of the trip with the native’s canoe outside the Virgin Islands—are you going to hold a grudge with him on the next excursion to the New World?”
Columbus: “No, I don’t think so, we just love sailing, and things happen when you are going eight or ten knots. This Guido’s Custom Shipyard built fleet of ships just ran right over those itty-bitty dugout canoes—I think that Indian is still swimming home right now. He won’t be no trouble in a year or so when we’re over that way again.”
Headphone-Clad Announcer: “Did you ever think that you and your crew wouldn’t make it back here to Europe?”
Columbus: "No, not at all. We all had every confidence that these Queen Isabella Guido's Shipyard Italian Solid Oak ships and Mercury Vesevius outboard sails had the muscle to keep us in the lead most of the trip and bring us on home safely…but, by the way, there was that one incident when the Indian Chief caught me with his youngest daughter…boy was she ever a hotsie-totsie…"
Headphone-Clad Announcer: "A Hotsie-totsie?"
Columbus: "Yes, boy o boy, breasts out to here and legs down to there..."
"Whew wee, I didn’t know if I was going to make it back with my skin intact let alone off that island that night…er, um, never mind…forget what I just said… sorry honey, I'll be right home.”
Headphone-Clad Announcer: "Where do you see yourself and your crew going from here, Mr. Columbus?"
Columbus: "Well, you see that there moon up there in the sky?"
Headphone-Clad Announcer: "The Moon?"
Columbus: "Yes, well, we’re working with this guy named daVinci, you may have heard of him, on this new kind of ship and boy I tell you, she beats the heck out of the speed and power of these babies we just got off of. We ask the fans to just watch the news in a few hundred years and see what we’re doing."
"It will definitely make your head spin...
It will indeed."
Headphone-Clad Announcer: "Well, there you have it ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here first…now back to you in the studio in Madrid, Mr. Jennings…"
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Georgians Come To Their Senses
When Will We learn?
I'm quite happy to report that this stupid woman...
I'm quite happy to report that this stupid woman...
That would be Cynthia McKinney...
was again dumped off of the national and world stage by voters in Dekalb County and the balance of the eastern Atlanta suburbs tonight.
In fact, the runoff election wasn't even CLOSE.
Since I live on the Georgia coast rather in EAST Atlanta, I didn't actually have a say in it, but I did vote on four little local candidates in our local runoff election this afternoon.
If I could dance, I would be dancing right now...
Instead, I think that I might just sing a little...
"Blue skys, comin' my way...nuthin' but blue skys..." (you get the picture)
I also feel incredibly sorry for all of you yankees up there in Connecticut, because a whole bunch of you voted against a good man in Joe Lieberman. Zell Miller got out of Georgia Democratic politics when the getting was good, and it would serve some of you right if Mr. Lieberman did the same to you this year.
Let's hear a nice Howard Dean scream "yeeeeeeaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh"
Que up Al Gore next...
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Things I Like To Know
Excess Information...
I think that I've mentioned here before that I'm a bit of what I call...a "weather nerd."
In fact, if I were 18 again, I think that I would seriously consider going to college to become a meteorologist--what with the opportunities and careers offered by the Weather Channel to pop culture idols like Jim Cantori and all of the "Weather Chicks."
I currently subscribe to an e-mail weather alert system run by NOAA (that would be the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration) which keeps me standing on my tiptoes from June to October each year, ready to run like hell away from the nextmajor media event Hurricane if and when it decides to visit us here on the Georgia coast.
Here's a sample of what they sent me this morning:
000
ABNT20 KNHC 080855
TWOAT
TROPICAL WEATHER OUTLOOK
NWS TPC/NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER MIAMI FL
530 AM EDT TUE AUG 8 2006
FOR THE NORTH ATLANTIC...CARIBBEAN SEA AND THE GULF OF MEXICO...
A WELL-DEFINED AREA OF LOW-PRESSURE CENTERED ABOUT 1075 MILES EAST OF THE WINDWARD ISLANDS IS MOVING WESTWARD AT ABOUT 15 MPH. ALTHOUGH OVERALL ORGANIZATION HAS CHANGED LITTLE...ENVIRONMENTAL CONDITIONS REMAIN MARGINALLY FAVORABLE FOR A TROPICAL DEPRESSION TO POSSIBLY FORM DURING THE NEXT DAY OR SO.
A NEARLY STATIONARY NON-TROPICAL LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM IS LOCATEDABOUT 725 MILES SOUTHWEST OF THE AZORES. SHOWER AND THUNDERSTORMACTIVITY REMAINS DISORGANIZED AND DEVELOPMENT...IF ANY...IS EXPECTED TO BE SLOW TO OCCUR.
A TROPICAL WAVE INTERACTING WITH AN UPPER-LEVEL LOW IS PRODUCINGA LARGE AREA OF CLOUDINESS AND SHOWERS OVER HISPANIOLA...EASTERN CUBA...THE CENTRAL AND SOUTHEASTERN BAHAMAS...AND THE TURKS AND CAICOS. UPPER-LEVEL WINDS ARE UNFAVORABLE FOR ANY SIGNIFICANTDEVELOPMENT OF THIS SYSTEM AS IT MOVES WESTWARD AT 15 TO 20 MPH.
ELSEWHERE...TROPICAL STORM FORMATION IS NOT EXPECTED THROUGHWEDNESDAY.
FORECASTER BROWN/STEWART
For all of the uninformed members of the general public...I will use my expertise to translate:
The GOOD NEWS is that nothing is happening in the tropics, and the bad news is that it took the pointy headed government weasels that long to manage to say so...
Know what I mean?
I think that I've mentioned here before that I'm a bit of what I call...a "weather nerd."
In fact, if I were 18 again, I think that I would seriously consider going to college to become a meteorologist--what with the opportunities and careers offered by the Weather Channel to pop culture idols like Jim Cantori and all of the "Weather Chicks."
I currently subscribe to an e-mail weather alert system run by NOAA (that would be the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration) which keeps me standing on my tiptoes from June to October each year, ready to run like hell away from the next
Here's a sample of what they sent me this morning:
000
ABNT20 KNHC 080855
TWOAT
TROPICAL WEATHER OUTLOOK
NWS TPC/NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER MIAMI FL
530 AM EDT TUE AUG 8 2006
FOR THE NORTH ATLANTIC...CARIBBEAN SEA AND THE GULF OF MEXICO...
A WELL-DEFINED AREA OF LOW-PRESSURE CENTERED ABOUT 1075 MILES EAST OF THE WINDWARD ISLANDS IS MOVING WESTWARD AT ABOUT 15 MPH. ALTHOUGH OVERALL ORGANIZATION HAS CHANGED LITTLE...ENVIRONMENTAL CONDITIONS REMAIN MARGINALLY FAVORABLE FOR A TROPICAL DEPRESSION TO POSSIBLY FORM DURING THE NEXT DAY OR SO.
A NEARLY STATIONARY NON-TROPICAL LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM IS LOCATEDABOUT 725 MILES SOUTHWEST OF THE AZORES. SHOWER AND THUNDERSTORMACTIVITY REMAINS DISORGANIZED AND DEVELOPMENT...IF ANY...IS EXPECTED TO BE SLOW TO OCCUR.
A TROPICAL WAVE INTERACTING WITH AN UPPER-LEVEL LOW IS PRODUCINGA LARGE AREA OF CLOUDINESS AND SHOWERS OVER HISPANIOLA...EASTERN CUBA...THE CENTRAL AND SOUTHEASTERN BAHAMAS...AND THE TURKS AND CAICOS. UPPER-LEVEL WINDS ARE UNFAVORABLE FOR ANY SIGNIFICANTDEVELOPMENT OF THIS SYSTEM AS IT MOVES WESTWARD AT 15 TO 20 MPH.
ELSEWHERE...TROPICAL STORM FORMATION IS NOT EXPECTED THROUGHWEDNESDAY.
FORECASTER BROWN/STEWART
For all of the uninformed members of the general public...I will use my expertise to translate:
The GOOD NEWS is that nothing is happening in the tropics, and the bad news is that it took the pointy headed government weasels that long to manage to say so...
Know what I mean?
Monday, August 07, 2006
Feeling and Thinking…versus Knowing
The Stupid-a-fication of Society
Suppose I said: “I’m hungry”
A fair enough utterance, I believe.
If you were standing around me and heard my complaint, you might be inclined to offer to dine with me. You might even offer to buy me a cheeseburger, or possibly a bowl of soup or some gumbo.
I'd say a hearty "Thank's so much."
Next, from that experience, you might then be inclined to “FEEL” like cooking for me tomorrow, because you might “THINK” that I’d be hungry again.
And you know what, you’d be RIGHT, except that I might also have already cooked something to eat or have gone somewhere like Wendy's for a bowl of chili or Chick Fillet for a biscuit.
And…
You would also be guilty of making assumptions.
You’d be FEELING like you KNEW what I was going to WANT and NEED, but YOU wouldn’t actually KNOW what I NEEDED or was FEELING because YOU weren’t ME.
Right?
Come on....ADMIT IT...
I think that is the situation that Israel is in today.
The entire population of a fairly recently created county populated by the the decendents of the survivors of one of the greatest genocides in history, is being restrained by the opinions of a bunch of stupid idiots residing in places like the United Nations, our domestic peacenicks, the partisan Democratic party, and various otherthird world countries so-called professional news organizations…people that “FEEL” like they “THINK” that they “KNOW” what to do if they were in Israel’s place.
The only problem is, that they’re not, and most of them never will be.
They drive their $70,000 cars into their $2,000,000 houses and chat with their children on their cell phones at soccer practice and never worry about anything but the Mexicans or the Negro’s working on the adjacent lawn peeing in the flower beds or possibly breaking in and stealing the DVD player and great grand mama’s diamond pendant.
Booo Hoooo Hooooooooooooooooo
I, on the other hand, personally give Israel and their population free rein to take their best shot at who ever and whomever they want to over the next few weeks--perhaps going to the extent of dropping a small nuclear weapon on a piece of uninhabited Syrian or Iranian desert—because I think that that action just might be the best and only ointment that will cure what ails them.
It will also go a long way toward shutting the hell up the idiots in Afghanistan, Iraq, and possibly Saudi Arabia and Egypt.
But then again, that’s just the opinion of one ever graying, ever balding, ever aging Redneck.
That would be none other than…Little old ME...and feel free to quote me on that...
Suppose I said: “I’m hungry”
A fair enough utterance, I believe.
If you were standing around me and heard my complaint, you might be inclined to offer to dine with me. You might even offer to buy me a cheeseburger, or possibly a bowl of soup or some gumbo.
I'd say a hearty "Thank's so much."
Next, from that experience, you might then be inclined to “FEEL” like cooking for me tomorrow, because you might “THINK” that I’d be hungry again.
And you know what, you’d be RIGHT, except that I might also have already cooked something to eat or have gone somewhere like Wendy's for a bowl of chili or Chick Fillet for a biscuit.
And…
You would also be guilty of making assumptions.
You’d be FEELING like you KNEW what I was going to WANT and NEED, but YOU wouldn’t actually KNOW what I NEEDED or was FEELING because YOU weren’t ME.
Right?
Come on....ADMIT IT...
I think that is the situation that Israel is in today.
The entire population of a fairly recently created county populated by the the decendents of the survivors of one of the greatest genocides in history, is being restrained by the opinions of a bunch of stupid idiots residing in places like the United Nations, our domestic peacenicks, the partisan Democratic party, and various other
The only problem is, that they’re not, and most of them never will be.
They drive their $70,000 cars into their $2,000,000 houses and chat with their children on their cell phones at soccer practice and never worry about anything but the Mexicans or the Negro’s working on the adjacent lawn peeing in the flower beds or possibly breaking in and stealing the DVD player and great grand mama’s diamond pendant.
Booo Hoooo Hooooooooooooooooo
I, on the other hand, personally give Israel and their population free rein to take their best shot at who ever and whomever they want to over the next few weeks--perhaps going to the extent of dropping a small nuclear weapon on a piece of uninhabited Syrian or Iranian desert—because I think that that action just might be the best and only ointment that will cure what ails them.
It will also go a long way toward shutting the hell up the idiots in Afghanistan, Iraq, and possibly Saudi Arabia and Egypt.
But then again, that’s just the opinion of one ever graying, ever balding, ever aging Redneck.
That would be none other than…Little old ME...and feel free to quote me on that...
English For Engineers
Or Is It More Likely...A Word For The Wise?
Have I ever mentioned that I have a love hate relationship with languages in general, but specifically with my own language—the ENGLISH language?
Dang it all…but what moron(s) or imbecile(s) made up these rules of spelling and grammar in the first place anyway?
“I” before “E”, except after “C”, or when it sound’s like Ayyyyyyy…Crap like that, you get the gist of my complaint.
How are you to keep up with it all, particularly when they keep changing the rules over time?
If English wasn’t bad enough, I was forced to take a year of Spanish back in high school and I hated every minute of it…concatenating verbs and such…
Why the heck should you make the VERB refer to the sex of theoffender person performing the action in the first place?
Either THEY did THIS or THEY did THAT.
What ever was “did”, and who ever “did” it, it was still “done” in the end…weren’t wasn’t it?
In my book, tossing in a few “he’s” or “she’s” or “it’s” into the conversation should be good enough without having to modify the rest of the sentence along the way.
In college at Georgia Tech I managed to pretty much avoid English class because my engineering curriculum emphasized numbers over words, although the words that were used to describe the numbers and even the curriculum were sometimes beyond belief.
Things like Computational Fluid Dynamics, Magneto hydrodynamics, Thermodynamics…I have to admit that I was almost completely “dynamics out” by the end of my third year of college…and I haven’t even mentioned the ultimate dirty word…
C-A-L-C-U-L-U-S
Five quarters worth, at five quarter hours per quarter.
Then if that wasn’t enough, they hit you with something called “Differential Equations”, and if you didn’t get your Calculus studies right, you were absolutely DOOMED in “Diff Eq” as we liked to call it.
Then there were classes like Statics, Dynamics, Deformable Bodies, Heat Transfer, and Materials Science, all specifically designed to make you want to quit school and move back home to work at the local convenience store or “fillin’ station.” No matter what they called the class, when it was all said and done, after the second year it was all still…
C-A-L-C-U-L-U-S
You absolutely, positively, could not get away from the stuff.
I still have nightmares about Calculus and Calculus books.
Since that time, however, I have managed to make amends with the English language and the literature that is produced by its use.
Take this blog, for instance.
Instead of writing “Esto es mi blog, lo adora o lo sale”, I just pound out the words “This is my blog, love it or leave it” on my keyboard.
Seems simple enough today.
I’m finally pretty comfortable within my native verbiage, although I could be found dieing a slow death if it weren’t for spell-check in the old word processor.
I love to do Google searches to find the definitions of words that I missed by not going to graduate school or otherwise managed to bypass along the way in my technical education, and I’m intrigued with the idea that some languages don’t have direct translations for words or concepts (usually expressed by groups of words).
At the same time, words like LOVE in English have multiple translations in Latin and the other ancient and romantic languages.
Recently I’ve been publishing and emphasizing what I call “million dollar” words that expressed my opinion of various world events or our local “community theater companies” and "newspapers."
Instead of cursing at people, things, and organizations, my latest form of assault is to describe them with carefully chosen words…
Words which they don’t understand or know the meaning of.
You might have seen them here before…
Words like:
Feckless \FEK-lis\, adjective:
a. Ineffective; having no real worth or purpose.
b. Worthless; irresponsible; generally incompetent and ineffectual.
Obtuse \ob-tuse\, adjective:
a. lacking quickness of perception or intellect.
b. Characterized by a lack of intelligence or sensitivity: an obtuse remark.
c. Not distinctly felt: an obtuse pain.
Those are a couple of my current favorites.
That all said, I now come back to my original point—My "Word or Words of the Day."
This will be a semi-regular posting here on the blog for at least the short term and actually, instead of being “Word or Words of the Day,” it will more likely be “Word or Words of the WEEK.”
So now, if I may I have a Drum roll please....
This week’s "Word or Words of the Week"...................dddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
Non Sequitur \non SEQ u i tur\, noun:
a. An inference or conclusion that does not follow from the premises or evidence.
b. A statement that does not follow logically from what preceded it.
Here’s an excellent example of a Non Sequitur:
1. If A then B. (e.g. If I am in Tokyo, I am in Japan.)
2. Not A. (e.g. I am not in Tokyo.)
3. Therefore, not B. (e.g. Therefore, I am not in Japan.)
You see, even if the speaker is not in Tokyo, they could be anywhere else in Japan.
It is my assertion that many journalists and most politicians suffer from a bad case of Non Sequitur each and every day of their lives.
I also believe that many of our citizens that will be voting this week in the runoff elections suffer from this same form of mutated logic.
Barely anyone will vote in the runoffs, and when the 50% of the elligable voters that manage to drag themselves to the voting booth in November finally get there, they will already have let the wild eyed partisans and the idiots suffering from a bad case of "non sequitur" pick the candidates which are on the ballot.
I, personally, aspire to try to avoid that affliction.
Just in case you were wondering...
Have I ever mentioned that I have a love hate relationship with languages in general, but specifically with my own language—the ENGLISH language?
Dang it all…but what moron(s) or imbecile(s) made up these rules of spelling and grammar in the first place anyway?
“I” before “E”, except after “C”, or when it sound’s like Ayyyyyyy…Crap like that, you get the gist of my complaint.
How are you to keep up with it all, particularly when they keep changing the rules over time?
If English wasn’t bad enough, I was forced to take a year of Spanish back in high school and I hated every minute of it…concatenating verbs and such…
Why the heck should you make the VERB refer to the sex of the
Either THEY did THIS or THEY did THAT.
What ever was “did”, and who ever “did” it, it was still “done” in the end…
In my book, tossing in a few “he’s” or “she’s” or “it’s” into the conversation should be good enough without having to modify the rest of the sentence along the way.
In college at Georgia Tech I managed to pretty much avoid English class because my engineering curriculum emphasized numbers over words, although the words that were used to describe the numbers and even the curriculum were sometimes beyond belief.
Things like Computational Fluid Dynamics, Magneto hydrodynamics, Thermodynamics…I have to admit that I was almost completely “dynamics out” by the end of my third year of college…and I haven’t even mentioned the ultimate dirty word…
C-A-L-C-U-L-U-S
Five quarters worth, at five quarter hours per quarter.
Then if that wasn’t enough, they hit you with something called “Differential Equations”, and if you didn’t get your Calculus studies right, you were absolutely DOOMED in “Diff Eq” as we liked to call it.
Then there were classes like Statics, Dynamics, Deformable Bodies, Heat Transfer, and Materials Science, all specifically designed to make you want to quit school and move back home to work at the local convenience store or “fillin’ station.” No matter what they called the class, when it was all said and done, after the second year it was all still…
C-A-L-C-U-L-U-S
You absolutely, positively, could not get away from the stuff.
I still have nightmares about Calculus and Calculus books.
Since that time, however, I have managed to make amends with the English language and the literature that is produced by its use.
Take this blog, for instance.
Instead of writing “Esto es mi blog, lo adora o lo sale”, I just pound out the words “This is my blog, love it or leave it” on my keyboard.
Seems simple enough today.
I’m finally pretty comfortable within my native verbiage, although I could be found dieing a slow death if it weren’t for spell-check in the old word processor.
I love to do Google searches to find the definitions of words that I missed by not going to graduate school or otherwise managed to bypass along the way in my technical education, and I’m intrigued with the idea that some languages don’t have direct translations for words or concepts (usually expressed by groups of words).
At the same time, words like LOVE in English have multiple translations in Latin and the other ancient and romantic languages.
Recently I’ve been publishing and emphasizing what I call “million dollar” words that expressed my opinion of various world events or our local “community theater companies” and "newspapers."
Instead of cursing at people, things, and organizations, my latest form of assault is to describe them with carefully chosen words…
Words which they don’t understand or know the meaning of.
You might have seen them here before…
Words like:
Feckless \FEK-lis\, adjective:
a. Ineffective; having no real worth or purpose.
b. Worthless; irresponsible; generally incompetent and ineffectual.
Obtuse \ob-tuse\, adjective:
a. lacking quickness of perception or intellect.
b. Characterized by a lack of intelligence or sensitivity: an obtuse remark.
c. Not distinctly felt: an obtuse pain.
Those are a couple of my current favorites.
That all said, I now come back to my original point—My "Word or Words of the Day."
This will be a semi-regular posting here on the blog for at least the short term and actually, instead of being “Word or Words of the Day,” it will more likely be “Word or Words of the WEEK.”
So now, if I may I have a Drum roll please....
This week’s "Word or Words of the Week"...................dddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
Non Sequitur \non SEQ u i tur\, noun:
a. An inference or conclusion that does not follow from the premises or evidence.
b. A statement that does not follow logically from what preceded it.
Here’s an excellent example of a Non Sequitur:
1. If A then B. (e.g. If I am in Tokyo, I am in Japan.)
2. Not A. (e.g. I am not in Tokyo.)
3. Therefore, not B. (e.g. Therefore, I am not in Japan.)
You see, even if the speaker is not in Tokyo, they could be anywhere else in Japan.
It is my assertion that many journalists and most politicians suffer from a bad case of Non Sequitur each and every day of their lives.
I also believe that many of our citizens that will be voting this week in the runoff elections suffer from this same form of mutated logic.
Barely anyone will vote in the runoffs, and when the 50% of the elligable voters that manage to drag themselves to the voting booth in November finally get there, they will already have let the wild eyed partisans and the idiots suffering from a bad case of "non sequitur" pick the candidates which are on the ballot.
I, personally, aspire to try to avoid that affliction.
Just in case you were wondering...
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Houston...We have A Problem
Decisions About Elderly Drivers
I guess that by now most everyone has heard the story or read the headline about former Senator and Astronaut John Glynn and his wife being involved in an auto accident:
Former senator and astronaut John Glenn and his wife, Annie, were slightly injured in a traffic accident near Easton Town Center last night.
The crash happened at 11:14 p.m. on Morse Road near the ramp to I-270, Columbus police said....
Glenn was charged by police with failure to yield on a left turn, Butland said.
The two-car accident happened on Morse Road near a ramp to I-270. Amy Myers of New Albany, the driver of the other car, was not injured.
This story points out a situation that in the end will affect every individual and family in this country, and I think that the state governments should take the initiative and stop acquiescing to popular opinion and public sentiment.
JOHN GLYNN SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN OUT DRIVING AROUND AT 11:14 PM AT NIGHT, UNLESS HE COULD PASS AN ANNUAL VISION AND DRIVING TEST.
I don't give a diddly doo if he was qualified to strap himself into a Mercury space capsule bolted on top of a modified Air force Redstone Ballistic Missile and hurl around the planet in outer space a couple of times back in 1962, I guar-an-damn-tee you that things in the man's brain and body have changed a good deal in the past 44 years, and he twern't no spring chicken when he accomplished the aforementioned superman-like feat.
Let's face it folks...John Glenn is OLD.
Heck...come to think of it...I'm old, and with my mental attitude I just may start running around crashing my old Chevy Suburban into other people's cars on purpose if they don't straighten up and start driving better.
The media constantly laments the demise of teen drivers and people coming home at night from bars, but the reality is that, for many of our elderly friends and relatives, driving down the road at 8:00 AM or 11:30 PM is just as dangerous as you and me setting out from the local tavern after happy hour with a blood alcohol content of 0.15.
People that were wonderful, safe, courteous drivers for 50 years suddenly become a danger to themselves if not an outright menace on the roadways, particularly after the sun has set.
Just like a learners permit and other limitations on young drivers, I’d like to see the government work with families to save our seniors from themselves, and prevent the injury of the general public in the process.
I personally know how hard it is to tell your grandfather that he can’t be allowed to drive any more. Our family had to remove the wires from the distributor of my Grandpa Rushing’s 56’ Chevy Belair to get him off of the road in the early 1970’s.
I also had to help the family of a dear elderly friend revoke his driving privileges in the past year.
I know that it’s very hard—losing your independence—particularly in a country and a society that has placed the personal automobile on a pedestal and eliminated the public transportation systems that were built in the early parts of the past century when these same citizens were coming of age to drive.
Still, I think that the reality is, if you really care, you should get off of your rear end and verify the driving ability of your older family members at least several times each year.
Take a look at yourself and your kids while you’re at it, by the way…
As the old saying goes, the best offense is a good defense, and I believe that it’s better to stop the driving “offenses” before they occur, rather than spending time in a hospital or funeral home lamenting your own inaction.
Just a thought…
I guess that by now most everyone has heard the story or read the headline about former Senator and Astronaut John Glynn and his wife being involved in an auto accident:
Former senator and astronaut John Glenn and his wife, Annie, were slightly injured in a traffic accident near Easton Town Center last night.
The crash happened at 11:14 p.m. on Morse Road near the ramp to I-270, Columbus police said....
Glenn was charged by police with failure to yield on a left turn, Butland said.
The two-car accident happened on Morse Road near a ramp to I-270. Amy Myers of New Albany, the driver of the other car, was not injured.
This story points out a situation that in the end will affect every individual and family in this country, and I think that the state governments should take the initiative and stop acquiescing to popular opinion and public sentiment.
JOHN GLYNN SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN OUT DRIVING AROUND AT 11:14 PM AT NIGHT, UNLESS HE COULD PASS AN ANNUAL VISION AND DRIVING TEST.
I don't give a diddly doo if he was qualified to strap himself into a Mercury space capsule bolted on top of a modified Air force Redstone Ballistic Missile and hurl around the planet in outer space a couple of times back in 1962, I guar-an-damn-tee you that things in the man's brain and body have changed a good deal in the past 44 years, and he twern't no spring chicken when he accomplished the aforementioned superman-like feat.
Let's face it folks...John Glenn is OLD.
Heck...come to think of it...I'm old, and with my mental attitude I just may start running around crashing my old Chevy Suburban into other people's cars on purpose if they don't straighten up and start driving better.
The media constantly laments the demise of teen drivers and people coming home at night from bars, but the reality is that, for many of our elderly friends and relatives, driving down the road at 8:00 AM or 11:30 PM is just as dangerous as you and me setting out from the local tavern after happy hour with a blood alcohol content of 0.15.
People that were wonderful, safe, courteous drivers for 50 years suddenly become a danger to themselves if not an outright menace on the roadways, particularly after the sun has set.
Just like a learners permit and other limitations on young drivers, I’d like to see the government work with families to save our seniors from themselves, and prevent the injury of the general public in the process.
I personally know how hard it is to tell your grandfather that he can’t be allowed to drive any more. Our family had to remove the wires from the distributor of my Grandpa Rushing’s 56’ Chevy Belair to get him off of the road in the early 1970’s.
I also had to help the family of a dear elderly friend revoke his driving privileges in the past year.
I know that it’s very hard—losing your independence—particularly in a country and a society that has placed the personal automobile on a pedestal and eliminated the public transportation systems that were built in the early parts of the past century when these same citizens were coming of age to drive.
Still, I think that the reality is, if you really care, you should get off of your rear end and verify the driving ability of your older family members at least several times each year.
Take a look at yourself and your kids while you’re at it, by the way…
As the old saying goes, the best offense is a good defense, and I believe that it’s better to stop the driving “offenses” before they occur, rather than spending time in a hospital or funeral home lamenting your own inaction.
Just a thought…
Saved From A Speedo
You Just Can’t make Stuff Like This Up…
OK…I’m CLOSE to declaring that I’ve seen EVERYTHING now, and maybe you will too after reading this Local6 story about the “rescue” of a dolphin having an “extra large” men’s Speedo bathing suit wrapped around its middle.
A bottle-nosed dolphin caught in a life-threatening extra large Speedo bathing suit off the coast of Sarasota, Fl, was found and the clothing was safely removed, according to Local 6 News.
Back in June, Marine biologist in Sarasota spotted the dolphin named Scrappy swimming around with the Speedo wrapped around his torso.
Biologist thought the swimwear would just slip off, but the Speedo was too tight.
First of all, I have to say that I think that it should be against Federal law to make “extra large” Speedo bathing suits.
Anyone else agree with me here?
The same should apply to ladies’ thongs and G-string bathing suits; and almost any other article of clothing intended to be worn in public that is both “extra large” and fits in a skin tight manner.
I think that those type of offenses should fall under a new category of what I call "impossible exposure" laws.
In addition, I think that they should hand out giant sheets of opaque plastic shrink wrap to the lifeguards so that if you are walking down the beach and you notice some 300 pound dude wandering around in a XXXL Speedo (looking like he’s got a Squirrel in there with him) or some giant pasty white chick flopping around in a size 24 G-String ensemble, you are required to point them out to the guy with the shrink wrap and the offending visage is immediately removed from the eyes of the already traumatized public.
I don’t even like looking at Speedo’s on trim little dudes competing in the Olympics or other swim competitions. Based on my own personal survey, most reasonablewomen ladies feel the same—at least in public.
God help us and protect us from the Europeans, however.
From my experience, they somehow think that a pot belly and a Speedo go nicely together.
I did a bunch of diving in the Caribbean back in the 1990’s and I always shuddered when I saw a party of Germans and French jumping on board our dive boat because you were guaranteed to see something you didn’t want to see (and often times couldn’t have previously imagined) while on board.
I personally, being of modest southern gentlemanly heritage, did own a Speedo bathing suit at that time, but it was not the bikini style and it was worn under my dive skin or wetsuit for the times when the changing of clothing was required in a semi-public venue.
On the other hand, it seemed that the dang foreigners were dead set on showing you everything that God gave them from their toes and butt crack to the top of their pointy little heads.
The Men were worse than most of the women, but it seemed that the uglier and more out of shape the woman was, the greater the odds of turning around to stow your mask and regulator and having some hideous image permanently burned into your mind and retinas that would haunt you for the rest of your life.
All I have to say is…come on people, cover that stuff up except possibly when you are in the privacy of your own bedroom, unless everyone has been warned and allowed to take a special class or sign a legal waiver of some sort.
Some of my personal experiences almost required counseling...
And while I'm at it, let me say that the same goes for all of you pudgy little teenaged and twenty somethingbitches girls that insist on wandering around in public with your mid-drift showing—injuring my eyes sporting your pot belly—just because you have a pierced bellybutton and/or a butterfly tattooed in the small of your back.
I'm proud to state emphatically that I don't want to see a roll of fish-belly white flesh on someone old enough to be my daughter or granddaughter, and if I had a son (which I don't) and he brought you to my home (with your pierced pot belly and tattooed torso) I would personally see to it that my manchild promptly entered the military with the next 48 hours.
Talk about fates worse than death...have some modesty and dignity, for Christ’s sake....AAAAAAaaaaaaHHHHHHhhhhhh!!!
Taking
a
big
breath.....
Finally, the Speedo wearing Dolphin news story shared this little titbit:
"I want to know whose Speedo's those are," a resident said. "That person needs to come forward".
Who is THAT moron, and why did the so-called journalist bother to quote the expulsion of air from their brainless head?
No you don’t want to know, dammit, because the son of a bitch would probably show up at the police station starknekkid naked…let him suffer in the privacy of his own bathroom and leave the rest of us to our injured imaginations.
What the hell is the world coming to anyway???
OK…I’m CLOSE to declaring that I’ve seen EVERYTHING now, and maybe you will too after reading this Local6 story about the “rescue” of a dolphin having an “extra large” men’s Speedo bathing suit wrapped around its middle.
A bottle-nosed dolphin caught in a life-threatening extra large Speedo bathing suit off the coast of Sarasota, Fl, was found and the clothing was safely removed, according to Local 6 News.
Back in June, Marine biologist in Sarasota spotted the dolphin named Scrappy swimming around with the Speedo wrapped around his torso.
Biologist thought the swimwear would just slip off, but the Speedo was too tight.
First of all, I have to say that I think that it should be against Federal law to make “extra large” Speedo bathing suits.
Anyone else agree with me here?
The same should apply to ladies’ thongs and G-string bathing suits; and almost any other article of clothing intended to be worn in public that is both “extra large” and fits in a skin tight manner.
I think that those type of offenses should fall under a new category of what I call "impossible exposure" laws.
In addition, I think that they should hand out giant sheets of opaque plastic shrink wrap to the lifeguards so that if you are walking down the beach and you notice some 300 pound dude wandering around in a XXXL Speedo (looking like he’s got a Squirrel in there with him) or some giant pasty white chick flopping around in a size 24 G-String ensemble, you are required to point them out to the guy with the shrink wrap and the offending visage is immediately removed from the eyes of the already traumatized public.
I don’t even like looking at Speedo’s on trim little dudes competing in the Olympics or other swim competitions. Based on my own personal survey, most reasonable
God help us and protect us from the Europeans, however.
From my experience, they somehow think that a pot belly and a Speedo go nicely together.
I did a bunch of diving in the Caribbean back in the 1990’s and I always shuddered when I saw a party of Germans and French jumping on board our dive boat because you were guaranteed to see something you didn’t want to see (and often times couldn’t have previously imagined) while on board.
I personally, being of modest southern gentlemanly heritage, did own a Speedo bathing suit at that time, but it was not the bikini style and it was worn under my dive skin or wetsuit for the times when the changing of clothing was required in a semi-public venue.
On the other hand, it seemed that the dang foreigners were dead set on showing you everything that God gave them from their toes and butt crack to the top of their pointy little heads.
The Men were worse than most of the women, but it seemed that the uglier and more out of shape the woman was, the greater the odds of turning around to stow your mask and regulator and having some hideous image permanently burned into your mind and retinas that would haunt you for the rest of your life.
All I have to say is…come on people, cover that stuff up except possibly when you are in the privacy of your own bedroom, unless everyone has been warned and allowed to take a special class or sign a legal waiver of some sort.
Some of my personal experiences almost required counseling...
And while I'm at it, let me say that the same goes for all of you pudgy little teenaged and twenty something
I'm proud to state emphatically that I don't want to see a roll of fish-belly white flesh on someone old enough to be my daughter or granddaughter, and if I had a son (which I don't) and he brought you to my home (with your pierced pot belly and tattooed torso) I would personally see to it that my manchild promptly entered the military with the next 48 hours.
Talk about fates worse than death...have some modesty and dignity, for Christ’s sake....AAAAAAaaaaaaHHHHHHhhhhhh!!!
Taking
a
big
breath.....
Finally, the Speedo wearing Dolphin news story shared this little titbit:
"I want to know whose Speedo's those are," a resident said. "That person needs to come forward".
Who is THAT moron, and why did the so-called journalist bother to quote the expulsion of air from their brainless head?
No you don’t want to know, dammit, because the son of a bitch would probably show up at the police station stark
What the hell is the world coming to anyway???
