Rhetorical Inquiries

Answers To Questions I Shouldn't Have To Ask...


As I continue to re-arrange the carport this morning, already having made the obligatory trip to Home Depot in anticipation of the day's projects, I just noticed something amiss.

The problem occurred since earlier in the week, probably while I was sitting in the Hospital having my monthly dose of radiation induced photography.

The nice pile of wood scraps and sawdust I had swept up and left lying beside a stack of 12 foot 2x4's was gone--the wood scraps actually scattered around randomly beside the Suburban.

As I continued in my efforts, I realized that I was yet again the victim of...

A DUMBASS A LAWNWORKER WITH A LEAF BLOWER.

(Que the ominous music here please...)

Is there some law written somewhere that states that you have to be a total freaking idiot mentally challenged just plain stupid in order to purchase else otherwise be allowed to operate a leaf blower on other peoples property or the right of way of public streets?

Or do leaf blowers somehow suck the brains out of otherwise intelligent men?

Possibly they emit cosmic rays or some as yet unknown beam of insanity inducing particles and waves that temporarily disable the mental faculties of otherwise normal people?

I wish someone would explain to me why you would start at the back and side of a carport and blow all of the lawn debris and dust and dirt all over $25,000 worth of automobiles, bicycles, tools, and other personal property.

Wouldn't it make sense to wader to the front of the carport and blow your way out?

Wouldn't it make even more sense to tap on the storm door (adjacent to the open kitchen door) and ask the homeowner to move their cars out of the way?

Just wondering...Is it just me?

Quote O' The Day

Things On My Mind...Eloquently Expressed By Others


In spite of illness, in spite even of the archenemy sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.

Edith Wharton, US novelist, (1862 - 1937)


My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

W.C. Fields (1880-1946)

I'm very pleased with each advancing year. It stems back to when I was forty. I was a bit upset about reaching that milestone, but an older friend consoled me. 'Don't complain about growing old - many, many people do not have that privilege.'

Earl Warren, Chief Justice (1891 - 1974)


Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)


And finally, this wise thought for those overly healthy individuals out there that can do no wrong in the health department and beat you to death verbally with their successes:


I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.

George Burns (1896 - 1996)


That will be all...for now...

Someone Beat Me To The Thought

The Old Doctor Had It Right...


A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses.

Hippocrates, "Regimen in Health", Greek physician (460 BC - 377 BC)

A Brief Unwelcome Intermission In My Life

Learning From Medical Interruptions...


Well Ladies and Gentlemen, I am pleased to report that I'm back to my self designed reality again tonight, after a little over a day and one half--two entire workdays actually--spending time waiting on various "medical procedures" and thinking about what it means to be healthy, and how often we take it for granted, no matter what form "healthy" takes in your life.

In my current existence, "healthy" has quite a different meaning than it did twenty-five years ago or even five years ago, but then again, in the slightly amended words of of Forrest Gump...

"Stupid Healthy is as stupid healthy does..."

That said, what I went through the past couple of days only serves to remind me how lucky I am to be able to enjoy the day to day quality of life Pat and I have built for ourselves here in Eastern Tennessee.

In the early morning silence of my expensive "hotel room" last night, all I could think of was missing my girl and my dog and my bed and my new job and all of the projects I had going on around my new house in my new home town.

I was self important enough to worry about the three engineering projects I had going on at work and the current Mississippi stack project and the fate of the new stack bid I was working on located out in the Midwest.

The funny thing is, when you think about it...all of that work would have gotten done somehow by somebody somewhere, regardless of the outcome of last night's personal scare and my ongoing medical prognosis.

I guess what I'm saying is that the little philosophical tidbit which I came away with from the latest events is a renewed appreciation of the everyday and the "mundane" things included in every 24 hour cycle of life.

I'm quite pleased to be able to arise early tomorrow morning, traverse the 3.9 mile distance eastward to my office, and smile and grin through my day sitting upright in my office chair in front of my computer.

My brush with the alternative of spending days on end with IV's and other various tubes hanging out of my body, sucking down pain medications, while total strangers stop by and attempt to casually discuss with me my urine output and the recent performance of my bowels makes me quite thrilled to sit through every minute.

I truly hope that everyone's day is as good as mine is going to be...

Technical Difficulties

Anatomical Anomalies...


OK folks, don't go getting all excited when I say this, but I'm back in the hospital--this time in Knoxville-- because of the uncomfortable day a spent yesterday with my stomach problems.

We hit the emergency room about 8:30 last night...

Turns out this time was basically a scare that resulted in some CAT scan and expensive X-ray testing to prove nothing was seriously wrong, but the final results are not due in until later this afternoon.

Wish me luck...if you will.

UPDATE 2:10 PM

GOING HOME SHORTLY!!!

Talk to y'all later...

Someone Call Fox News

I've Got A New Philanthropic Endeavor...


I was flipping around between TV channels tonight in a fit of old aged induced insomnia when a story on Food Network caught my eye. The moment I saw the idea that the people over at the Canstruction organization had I knew that I had to organize a local event here in Knoxville.


At least I'm going to try...


What they do is enlist local Engineering and Architectural Firms, and even schools and churches to solicit donations of canned food, and then they have a competition where the individual teams build intricate models, structures, and artwork using nothing but the cans and a little wire and tape for support.


Then after much fanfare at the local mall or other public venue and judging of the work by a jury of local dignitaries, the structures/artwork are photographed, torn down, and the can goods donated to local food banks and charities.

Stuff like this is possible:

You'll have to excuse me while I go play in the pantry now...

An Eighteen Foot Deep Hole In The Ground

Two Feet At A Time...


This morning I have to go back to work after yet another three day weekend.

It's a good thing, because I need the rest after living through what I did on my "days off."

Besides hauling nine panels of pre-fab picket fencing back to Lowe's (after paying them to deliver it a month ago), on Saturday I wandered over to Home Depot and came back to my driveway with TWO HUNDRED individual pickets and the lumber necessary to support them on the 4x4 posts Lowe's delivered with the faulty fence panels.

The other thing that snuck into my truck on the way home was one of these:



That would be a little "One Man" Auger designed to make holes in your yard for fence posts or plants.

On the first hole my rented auger drilled itself into the hard Kentucky clay so deep that it could not be extracted with human strength (limited as I am by recent maladies.)

Fortunately my auger was stuck against an old clothes line post to which I could connect my "come-along" and jack the little beast out of the ground.

After drilling about four two foot deep fence post holes, my auger needed one man and one woman to hold it stable and keep it from killing someone in the hole drilling process.

After about two hours there were nine nice clean post holes spaced on 12 foot increments along the sides of Missy the Turbo Pups new pen enclosure country recreational compound.

Yesterday the rain delayed most of the outdoor progress although I did manage to get four fence posts set and one 12 foot section of fence put together. Thank God for my air compressor and finish nail gun.

While the rain was falling I managed to get wire shelving installed in the guest room closet, leaving the office closet awaiting my efforts tonight after I finish another eight hours of injuneering.

All I want to know is...Who's idea was this any way?