Saturday, February 14, 2009

Where Things Have Gotten To Today

Hey Dude...It's Not Personal...BUT...

This topic has been stewing around in my head for a couple of days now, but in reality it's just a subset or superset of thoughts I have almost every day of every week of every year for some time now.

It seems to me that, thanks to our government and education system, no one is responsible for anything that happens around them any more.

Everyone wants the income and benefits of any given enterprise or endeavor, but no one wants to pay the costs of the risks of owning or doing.

Take my yard as an example.

We've owned this place since last April 25th, and in that time I've probably spent $1500 on lawn maintenance, and more importantly I spent $500 of that money having trees which were in poor or overgrown condition cut down and removed--including having the stumps ground out in anticipation of re sodding the affected areas.

Then last week after watching things look a little crappy with the grass not being cut and the leaves from our lot and the neighbors' property blowing all around I paid another $100 to have the grass mowed and all of the remaining debris picked up and hauled away.

This in addition to having two small fires in which I burned a bunch of crap that was laying around on the fence lines and pruning clippings which had accumulated around the place.

As of Monday of this week we had things looking pretty good and were looking forward to doing some over seeding and fertilizing in anticipation of the spring thaw.

Then on Wednesday afternoon we had a angry little squall line blow through the area and in the midst of the rain and wind one of the 15" white pines on our rear neighbor's lot decided to break off at ground level and blow over into our back yard, smashing a big 20' tall ornamental Holley Tree I'd been pruning on but missing Missy the Turbo Pup's fence.

No big deal I thought, since I've grown up wielding a chain saw and cut dozens if not hundreds of trees in my day, although I hate to admit that today I only own an ELECTRIC chain saw because my days of cutting cords of firewood are long over.

Any way, I made a phone call to my insurance agent, and stopped by my neighbor's house to let them know of the event.

You know what I got for my efforts?

Well, as of 5 PM TWO DAYS LATER I still haven't heard back from the insurance agent, but I did get a visit from the "Hubby" from the household that owned the tree.

"Gee he was sure sorry, but when his other tree fell and hit his neighbor's house his insurance paid and...since this tree didn't hit anything the way things work in Tennessee is that the cleanup is my (that would be me) responsibility."

He did offer to let me borrow his chain saw if I needed it.

Pat and I cut up the tree, tossed the smaller limbs in a pile on our property, and I'm going to stack up the logs from the trunk back on the lazy asshole's property out of sight behind my fence.

See people, this is where we are today.

There is no way that my Father or my Grandfathers would have or could have stood there and told their neighbor that because of the "government rules" relating to the "government mandated" insurance they be allowed to let their property fall onto another man's property and simply shrug their shoulders and walk away because the law let them do it.

This sniveling asshole bought the property with the nice trees on it, paid the value of the property with the trees on it, and when he sells his house that he's owned since 1990 (according to his own admission) he will benefit from the value of the aforementioned trees, YET...

this shit headed wimp of a man stops by long enough to say he stopped by, then walks away while people ten or fifteen years older than him to cut up his tree else pay to have it removed.

I wish a Pox on his household, and may the fleas of a thousand Camels infest his wife's privates.



Put That In Your Pipe And Smoke It...

Recovery and Reinvestment Act = Bullcrap

Friday, February 13, 2009

Q400 Icing?

Another Airliner Down

I woke up after midnight to the news of the Continental commuter flight crash about 6miles short of the Buffalo, NY airport a little after ten PM.

Of course the media--self proclaimed aviation experts because they RIDE commercial airliners with some frequency--is spazzing out offering wild eyed conjecture and interviewing anyone they can find that can spell the word airplane.

I did a Yahoo map search myself and they're not only calling the town of "Clarence Center" simply "Clarence," but the crash scene on "Long Street" is referred to as "Long Road" as of 2:01 AM.

Of course there's the obligatory report of "fire coming out of one engine" and all the other crap that you hear before the final results are available.

The weather on the ground at both Newark where the flight originated and Buffalo where it was due to arrive a few minutes after it crashed was a sloppy misty snow at about 32 degrees F, but based on the weather conditions I see on the NOAA Aviation Weather website there were icing advisories at altitude across the entire state of New York.

The Bombardier Q400 turboprop involved is one of the new generation of "non-jet" commuters that is designed to deliver quiet "near jet" cabin noise levels and cruising speeds close to the little commuter jets they're designed to compete with. It has a Cat II autopilot and instrument landing capability in all but the very worst of conditions (Cat III being worst.)

The weird and dangerous thing about icing in flight is that it can build up on the aircraft while you're at altitude and cruising speed and you'll never know that it's there until you start slowing the airplane down and the extra weight and the effect of the change in the shape of your wings and fuselage due to the ice buildup become apparent.

To offset the problem of ice build up fancy private airplanes and all commercial aircraft have "deicing boots" on the leading edge of the wings and heated propeller blades to keep ice from building up while things are whirling and spinning around at 20,000 feet. Unfortunately the pilot has to actually turn on the deicing systems and then those systems have to work--something not necessary on every flight so the systems could be inoperative or working at less than optimal performance.

My heart goes out to the friends and relatives of 50+ lives that were lost this evening, but I just wish the media would shut up and wait for some tangible data--I say something broke and Icing was possibly an issue--while they leave the bystanders and self-proclaimed experts and armchair quarterbacks to keep their inane opinions and mindless conjecture to themselves.

UPDATE...5:31 AM

The descriptions of the crash scene indicate a "vertical" crash profile rather than a long sliding crash scene further creedence to the idea of icing problems or even possibly an engine failure on approach causing the plane to stall, stop flying, and dive into the ground from low altitude.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Happy Birthday Abe

We Could Sure Use A Man Like You Now...

(There's actually a black man in your office...and in spite of what I think personally I'm told he didn't use a crow bar to break in...)

By The Way...He Served In Vietnam

This Idiot Is Truly Incredible...

Here's John sKerry's take yesterday on your ability to spend YOUR money wisely:

I'd like five minutes alone in a dark alley with the arrogant, useless, pandering SOB...when I got done he'd have his fourth "purple heart" and I'd like to see him throw this one over the fence at the White House.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


Senator Chucky Schumer (Democrat-NY) Sez...

See who you got spending your children's and grandchildren's money?

I'll probalby die in the next two or three decades, and it all won't really matter to me beyond the next ten or fifteen years I might try to work a little. I still really hate to see the fruition of the "New Deal" and "The Great Society" culminate in yet another level of Class Envy, income consfiscation, and wealth distribution.

Some people just can't be helped, and a whole lot of people would be much better off if given the chance to keep their own money rather than being forced at gunpoint to hand it to the government hoping it will be well spent and some of it might come back to them in at least some form of value added service like a pothole free road or a safe bridge.

I keep wanting to ask this question when the government keeps talking about creating or saving 4,000,000 jobs. Why throw the money at poor people and the lower "middle class" and "working families." How's that going to create jobs?

After all, when was anyone hired by a homeless person or by some guy working two jobs to feed his kids and pay his rent?

Unfortunately, Mr. is the hated upper class and RICH people (but not professional government ass hats like you that never worked an actual day in their miserable, meddling, liberal lives) that start companies and create jobs in the private sector, and GM and Ford and CitiCorp be and your pompopus elite asshole friends in both houses of Congress are going to rue the day you try to pull this crap with America's wallets.

Wild eyed fanatics shot at Kennedy, Wallace, Ford, and Reagan. I say you and Reid and Pelosi et. al. better watch out because there may be some people out here fed up enough to start sighting in their rifle scopes and heading to the range to dust off their skills.

Can you say R E V O L U T I O N?

We might need one shortly...

Things Pilots Know How To Do

Every Single Day Without A News Report

Wish I could do that...

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Have You Seen This Crap?

Newsweek's Upcoming February 16th Cover...

Did You Watch President Obama's News Conference?

Thirteen Pre-Prepared Questions From Twelve and One Half Admirers Reporters

The highlight, for me, was Helen Thomas' question, presented here verbatim:

"Mr. President, do you think that Pakistan and -- are maintaining the safe havens in Afghanistan for these so-called terrorists? And, also, do you know of any country in the Middle East that has nuclear weapons?"

To me what was even more amazing than Helen still being allowed to sit there with her painted lips and her fox stole around her neck was that the President pretended to know what she had asked and he answered her.

I'd have given her a "do what?"

I'm sure in the last part about "Nukes" she was talking about Israel rather than Iran, and I'm insulted with her continued "so called terrorists" dogma.

I just wish someone would stir some extra Metamucil into her Ensure, pop a few Geritol in her mouth and wheel her back to assisted living in suburban Maryland and give us all a break here.

Virgil's Valentine Bear Company

If You Can't Join 'Em...Beat 'Em

Anyone but me tired of watching the antics of the three stripper chicks on the Vermont Teddy Bear commercials?

On the late night version...I swear to God...the bimbo recipient says this line:

"'s so much bigger than I thought...(other girls squealing in the background)...I could just kiss it and kiss it..."

Pluuuueeeeeeaaaassssseeeee...Spare me the innuendo.

UPDATE: I found the long ad in YouTube here:

As an equal opportunity insulter, the guys featured in the ad certainly look like losers that would buy the bears based on the appearance of the girls and the rhetoric delivered in the process of opening a box of goods that virtually everyone in America has heard "will make her think you spent days coming up with..." saw the ad, googled "Vermont Valentine Bear," gave them your credit card number, and hung up the phone on your way to go buy condoms and cheep wine.

Any way...I checked out the web site and wrote about this same subject tongue and cheek (excuse the pun) a few years ago.

This morning I thought I'd revisit the subject again because looking at the site I see that they're somewhat insensitive and exclusionary in their selection and obvious exploitation of certain societal and racial stereotypes of men this Valentines day.

If I were running my own competing "Virgil's Valentine Bear Company" I'd expect to be forced by government equality mandate to include products based on a WIDE cross section of our ever broadening melting pot society.

Not just white people or black people or construction workers or PHD's like Vermont Bear does.

I've taken a preliminary look this evening in some other places and come up with a few pretty good ideas I think.

As a tribute to the undervalued and oft overlooked American Sanitation Engineer, I'd do something using this guy as the model:

Pretty good...huh. After all, everyone doesn't want a CEO Bear or a Donald Trump Bear because it might hurt an ego or two.

Then, while looking through the Vermont Bear offerings I noticed a lack of "diversity" when it came to products aimed at the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transgendered) market and I immediately thought of these guys:

That covers a lot of ground in my book, how about you?

And not to leave out the angry lesbian part of the LGBT equation I thought of this lovely woman...

That particular model would definitely have to be fully clothed and offered in a extra heavy, extra large cardboard box so the price would put it in a different category from say...the Skinny Gay "Brokeback Mountain" Cowboy Bear or the "Indian Chief with the vibrating tommahawk Caricature Bear."

And finally, I noticed lots of "blue collar" offerings on the Vermont site, but they were all mostly based on "Caucasian" Americans. How about a Bear based on one of the hard working guys from another land country that supports our glorious American way of life?

Someone like this "Taxi Driver Bear" guy from the middle east?

...or this cuddly little fellow, "Construction Worker Bear on His Day Off" from south of the border?

I know, I know, I're probably all excited about the idea by now, and I'm hard at work in my spare time working on my bear prototypes but I'm afraid my products won't be making it to market by February 14th.

Bear with me here (no pun intended) as I get organized, and please keep me in mind for next year. I'll keep you informed as things develop.

No Matter What The Politicians Do (Short of Outright Fascism or Socialism)

The Economy's Gonna Improve...

Didn't I tell ya?

Did you take me up on the bet I made with my readers last Friday?

After downplaying the Senate's passage of a new Porkulus "Stimulus" Package the Senate was touting their astute ability to work together to reduce the package below $800 billion, I wrote these prophetic words:

I bet everyone who reads this a dollar of my "stimulus" payment that the final numbers meet or exceed the $900 billion plus cost they started out with Yesterday.

President Obama went on TV tonight to defend the process which is coming to a close this week in conference committee just as the Drudge Report is linking to this story tonight saying the new numbers are now up to $970 Billion.

And they're not finished.

They're saying this thing contains enough money to PAY OFF 90% of the home mortgages in the ENTIRE COUNTRY.

And the other funny thing is that it is all supposed to be about producing nearly 4,000,000 of them.

Do the math...that's a cost of $242,500 PER JOB.

And what kind of jobs are we talking about here? Most likely...GOVERNMENT JOBS...because I've worked for myself for over a decade and I've hired a few people and produced a few jobs and private sector jobs don't cost anything close to a quarter million dollars each to create.

Do the math again...$970,000,000,000.00 is enough money to give every single person in the country--legal and illegal--about $3000 each.

And that $9.7 with an 11 exponent behind it??? ...that's not the end of the spending either.

That's just the start of the spending, because much of it will not go away in a couple of years. It's going to become permanent programs and entitlements that will not only go on for years but will GROW into money losing monsters like Social Security and Medicare/Medicaid.

(cue the sounds of the crickets chirping...)

But you know what?

I'm starting to not worry in spite of what they end up doing because a couple of things came to me in the past couple of days that made me feel better.

First of all, there's nothing I can do except complain because the election was over last November and my side lost.

Second, the telephone is starting to ring here in my consulting office's opulent World Headquarters situated on the banks of the mighty Tennessee River. In less than two months of business I'm getting proposal requests and within another couple of months I expect to have business coming in.

You know what the government is going to do for me in the process?

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, except come in with a gun and take 1/4 to 1/3 of whatever I manage to earn and use it to pay for this ill founded illness we call government "stimulus."

Just give my money to someone that's spent the last two months sitting around cheering for the process and waiting on their stimulus check.

Third, I don't believe that they would seriously be spending this kind of money if they didn't know what a large minority of the country already knows after living through Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, and Bush.

That is, that the economy is cyclic, it takes time to move, and whoever is in the Office of President is usually not responsible for whatever is going on in the economy--positive or negative--for the first two or three years in office...AND...

I say they know things are coming back regardless of what they do, so they're taking advantage of the achievers and producers for twenty years into the future by spending money on their constituents and if things really do improve the President and the Democrats will get the credit for getting things turned around.

They can't lose here, and if this "stimulus package" doesn't do it they'll just spin their eyes around in their heads, the media will join in with the clammoring unemployed masses, and they'll be back knocking on my door in 12 months looking for another trillion and a half dollars to throw down into the Abyss.

They know I and people like me can't afford to fail, and therefore we can't afford for them (the Congress and their brand of Socialism) to fail no matter how much I disagree with them and their policies.

No matter how much I hate having to work for three or four months each year--from January to April--just to pay taxes, here I sit this morning working on the couple of forensic projects I have and working on marketing my services to other companies.

I don't need the President and the Government, state and local, to do anything for me but get the hell out of my way and let me do business.

Do things like reducing or eliminating "incorporation fees" when starting a new business, or not having to pay "business license fees," "professional engineering registration fees," and having to spend a week of my time each year filling out ten pages of income tax forms?

Things like that is what I want in my "stimulus package," Mr. President.

You and your government, just go help somebody else.


Monday, February 09, 2009

Not Reading Drug Directions

Yields Unreliable Results...

I was all excited when I got this free sample in the mail last week aimed at middle aged men.

We went out, had dinner and a few drinks, then rushed home to try it out.

Well...I don't know if I should be telling this or not...but dang if this drug isn't intended to be taken orally.

Silly me...I thought it went in the other end, and see what happened...

(sorry...I just can't help poking fun at TV ads these days.)

Sunday, February 08, 2009

So "A-Rod" Took Steroids?

Does Anyone Else But Me Not Give A Crap?

Next thing we know the media will be telling us this guy sold the drugs to him...

What ever happened to "I'm strong to the finish...'cause I eats me spinach???"

I'm Starting A "Political Activist" Campaign

Anyone Care To Join Me?

So can anyone tell me if the FBI will come knocking at my door if I mail all 100 US Senators a pack of these?

Maybe I could start a campaign and get people in all 50 states to send their Congressmen a pack of Peanut butter crackers or some Reeses Cups.

I'd be willing to coordinate the effort from here if I knew that they wouldn't act the same way they do these days when someone mails out envelopes full of talcum powder or corn starch.

I did defy fate and buy a new jar of my beloved Peter Pan Peanut Butter yesterday. Some of you probably think that I'm crazy but if you've been paying attention the tainted product is only included in "processed foods"...not in the jar variety like was the case a couple of years ago when my brand (Peter Pan) disappeared from the shelves for a half a year.

In closing I'd like to remind everyone that in spite of the fact that the company which shipped the contaminated product is initially responsible, you can also blame your beloved Socialistic GOVERNMENT--through the FDA and the Department of Agriculture-- for not adequately carrying out their oversight and inspection roles.

We pay a zillion dollars a year in taxes and the US Congress takes the money that should be "earmarked" to fund food inspection at the source (in the fields and barns) and in the factory where it is processed and diverts it off into competing areas while stupid companies like this ship pureed rats and roaches to your schools for your kids to eat.