Saturday, July 16, 2005

The “Wildbleu” Yonder

This Gives Me An Idea

So now somebody has come up with pajamas that help women with hot flashes keep cool at night.

“A new product for women going through menopause claims it can keep women cool and comfortable at night, even during hot flashes, according to a Local 6 News report.

Wildbleu pajamas use a heat-release technology to take sweat away from a person's skin, forcing moisture to the fabric, where it evaporates quickly.

Wildbleu pajamas are made of a patented fabric, according to the report.”

Sounds good to me—if they work—it will be $50 well spent

On behalf of men everywhere I have to ask, “can these people come out with a fabric that will do something about a women’s freezing feet and cold rear end?”

Maybe they can invent some “bunny suit” pajamas like little kids wear with feet in them and a mechanism that will distribute the heat from the menopausal hot flash to a woman’s backside and her toes…so she won’t be as likely to want put those cold things on ME to warm them up.

Hey guys...You know what I mean?

Friday, July 15, 2005

The Plame Blame Game

(Yet more boring political stuff)

I’m sick of the current hysterical media and liberal attack on President Bush’s adviser Karl Rove.

Those of us that read and closely follow the news every day have known about this developing story for a couple of years now, but some of my blog idols like Powerline and Captains Quarters predicted that this story would hit a fevered pitch this week.

It did.

Rather than telling you that Rove did or didn’t do anything wrong, I’m going to give you a brief synopsis of the story and then show you where you can read the details for yourself.

The players in this story are President Bush, his Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove; Vice President Dick Cheney; former US Ambassador Joe Wilson and his wife Valerie Plame; columnist Robert Novak, and The NY Times and their reporters Judith Miller and Matthew Cooper.

The outline of the story amounts to this:

In his January 2003 State of the Union Address, President Bush uttered the now infamous 16 words:

“The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa.”

In the year after the president made this statement, updated intelligence indicated that, while the Iraqis in fact tried to buy slightly refined ”yellowcake” uranium, they probably weren’t successful.

Reporters and Democrats, many of which apparently lack the ability to read, and many of those same groups that can read lacking the ability to understand the meaning of what it is that they have read, took the words “sought significant quantities” to mean “bought significant quantities.”

I’d like to point out that the significant underlying issue here wasn’t the possession of yellow cake, it was Sadam’s ATTEMPT to acquire yellow cake that was the problem. You don’t buy yellow cake uranium to season your steak on the grill or to patch holes in your driveway, you buy yellow cake uranium as feed stock to further refine into fissionable material for use in ATOMIC BOMBS.

That Iraq “bought significant quantities” is in fact NOT TRUE, but that is not what the President said.

No matter, a firestorm erupted as a result. “Bush LIED!” screamed the media headlines and the Democrats.

“Bush lied, Bush lied, BUSH MUST HAVE LIED (his staff couldn’t have simply been mistaken), we need to do something. What to do?????

WE, KNOW, WE NEED AN……I N V E S T I G A T I O N!!!”

And so they did…

A US Senate investigation, a special independent council, a grand jury, and every single left wing barking-moonbat reporter in the world has jumped on the case—and when they couldn’t prove that Bush lied about the yellow cake, they tried to do the next best thing...

Get Karl Rove, the architect of Bush’s election in 2000. Liberals hate Karl Rove more than George Bush--some claim that he actually runs the country.

They claimed that Karl Rove retaliated against Joe Wilson’s outspoken criticism of the war in Iraq by “outing” his wife’s identity as a CIA agent.

You see, some low level people at the CIA had previously sent former US ambassador Joe Wilson to Niger to check into things. I just so happened that Joe had married former undercover agent Valerie Plame, who subsequently moved to a desk job with the CIA in Langley, Virginia in 1997.

Then Mr. Wilson wrote an Op Ed piece on July 6, 2003 in the NY Times titled “What I didn’t find In Niger. In this writing, Wilson claims to have been sent to Niger by Vice President Dick Cheney. He also claimed to find no evidence that Iraq and Niger had any contact about yellow cake.

Cheney has since that time stated that he never heard of Joseph C. Wilson, IV until this current story hit the airwaves and newsprint. Further, it turns out that his wife, the now infamous Miss Plame, had in fact recommended that he be sent on the trip. Wilson has publically and in writing denied this FACT. It seems that it is Mr. Wilson, not the President or Mr. Rove that has a problem discerning the TRUTH.

In doing my own independent research (instead of taking the news reports words as fact,) I’ve just got through reading parts of the results of the Senate investigations’ efforts: the Report on the U.S. Intelligence Community’s Prewar Intelligence Assessments on Iraq produced by the U.S. Senate Select Committee on Intelligence.

By the way, this committee included some very vocal Democrats like Carl Levin, Dianne Feinstein, Richard Durbin, and John Edwards. What bothers me today is that, in spite of their intimate knowledge that the current uproar is based on complete crap, these Senators have chosen to remain silent or even speak out in support of the controversy in total disregard of their personal knowledge to the contrary.

Imagine that?

Here are some excerpts from Pages 71-75 of the report:

“(U) On June 17,2003, nearly five months after the President delivered the State of the Union address, the CIA produced a memorandum for the DCI which said, “since learning that the Iraq-Niger uranium deal was based on false documents earlier this spring, we no longer believe that there is sufficient other reporting to conclude that Iraq pursued Uranium from abroad.” This memorandum was not distributed outside the CIA and the Committee has not been provided with any intelligence products in which the CIA published its corrected assessment on Iraq’s pursuit of uranium from Niger outside of the agency.”

“Paragraph K. Niger Conclusions:

(U) Conclusion 12. Until October 2002 when the Intelligence Community obtained the forged foreign language documents on the Iraq-Niger uranium deal, it was reasonable for analysts to assess that Iraq may have been seeking uranium from Africa based on Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) reporting and other available intelligence.

(U) Conclusion 13. The report on the former ambassador’s (Joe Wilson’s) trip to Niger, disseminated in March 2002, did not change any analysts’ assessments of the Iraq-Niger uranium deal. For most analysts, the information in the report lent more credibility to the original Central Intelligence (CIA) reports on the uranium deal, but the State Department Bureau of Intelligence and Research (INR) analysts believed that the report support their assessment that Niger was unlikely to be willing or able to sell uranium to Iraq.

(U) Conclusion 14. The Central Intelligence Agency should have told the Vice President and other senior policymakers that it had sent someone to Niger to look into the alleged Iraq-Niger uranium deal and should have briefed the Vice President on the former ambassador’s findings.”

With the yellow cake controversy put to rest, the emphasis shifted to Rove, the special prosecutor, and the grand jury investigation.

All of the noise is currently about whether Rove “outed” Plame while she was an active covert CIA agent, which is against the law. Yesterday the idiot Democrats in the Senate even tried to relieve Karl Rove of his security clearance, even before the results of the investigation are available.

The Washington Times reported that Plame’s supervisor states that Valerie had not been deployed undercover since 1997. And now the media reports that columnist Robert Novak actually placed a phone call to Karl Rove and told him (Rove) that Plame was a CIA Agent, not the other way around.

I SAY THE CASE IS CLOSED.

Yet there continues to be tons of air and millions of square feet of newsprint wasted (you can read more commentary and details here, here , and here,) but in my considered opinion, that’s all the Joe Wilson/Valerie Plame/Karl Rove story is…

A TOTAL NON-STORY

National EDUCATION Association?

I was dragging around the internet on a mission. There must be something going on in the world that will light a fire in my head and be the source of a good rant.

Heh Heh Heh, I FOUND something.

My blog friend Beth over at She Who Will Be Obeyed provided me with just the inspiration I needed. She mentioned that blog Diva Michelle Malkin was talking about the National Education Association’s annual meeting. (This is what you call a link to a link to a link in blogger lingo)

I’m sorry to tell you folks, but if you read the NEA’s meeting agenda, the NEA seems more concerned with national politics than teaching.

For instance, there is this little ditty:

“Business Item 78

NEA will urge its members that they "do not shop" at Wal-Mart and Sam's Club due to Wal-Mart's anti-union, low-wage, low-benefit policies that have left its employees in need of hundreds of million of dollars in public aid for various health care and social safety net programs.”


So all this bunch of socialist idiots wants to do is talk about boycotting Wal-Mart because Wal-Mart is fighting the unionization of their workforce.

And of course the NEA is fighting the Republican’s potential privatization of social security…

New Business Item 6

The NEA will form a coalition with other like-minded organizations and individuals to protect Social Security and the Defined Benefit Systems of this country. NEA will publish in NEA Today information about these efforts and encourage and educate our members of the continuing efforts to attack our members' retirement security

Then there is some stupid obscure issue about fragrances and fragrance chemicals???

“New Business Item 8

The NEA President, Reg Weaver, will direct the HIN to write an article on health problems from exposure to fragrance chemicals in NEA Today. This will include a questionnaire for membership using a variety of methods such as an online NEA web site posting, form in the article and questionnaires available at the 06 RA Hall of Health. The results will be published in NEA as well as posted on the NEA Web site, including a list of products identified by members as triggering health reactions. The questionnaire results will be posted to the NEA Web site

New Business Item 9

Recognizing the great support provided by NEA and the NEA-HIN, which are working to obtain outside funding to again send 25 additional members to the EPA Tools for Schools Indoor Air Quality (IAQ) Symposium, should these funds not be forthcoming by November 1, 2005, NEA shall provide funds which will include a pre-symposium day for NEA members focusing on how to organize members around IAQ and Environmental Health issues. Attendees sign a commitment with their state president to establish an IAQ plan or activity.

New Business Item 75

The NEA will declare a designated area of the NEA/RA and related meetings and activities a fragrance free zone.”

I didn’t know that “fragrances” was such a big deal in school.

When I was in school, you just tried to stay away from the guys that had PE during first period because of the probability of them developing some serious natural fragrances (read that Body ODOR) was a potential problem.

Does this mean that if some little frilly 15 year old teen girl shows up at school dressed like a French whore…er…I mean…attired like Brittany Spears…that her attire is OK as long as she doesn’t also actually SMELL like a French whore with perfume?

I was shocked at how little talking about teaching they are apparently doing at the NEA convention. Go read the entire NEA meeting agenda for yourself if you have the time, but I can save you the trouble and tell you that, based on what I read, the NEA is more concerned with POLITICS than they are worried with the EDUCATION of our nation's children.

In my humble opinion, that’s just a crying shame.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Getting Serious

It's really weird how my interests and inspiration swings from extreme to extreme when it comes to my blogging.

For instance, I spent most of the mid-day yesterday watching NASA TV anticipating the shuttle launch. At the same time I was also doing some major Web research to support the development of a serious, in depth posting on the Rove/CIA/Plame/Wilson non-scandal scandal story.

Stay tuned for that posting later.

As a matter of explaination for those of you out there that don't write a couple thousand words a day like I usually try to do, please realize that if the words aren't there in your head, they probably won't be there on paper or the computer keyboard--at least not in a meaningful, readable fashion.

Yesterday was one of those days...I just didn't find a bunch of stuff worth talking or blogging about.

I did get a chance last night to go out to Ziggy's and explore the other half of my creative mind--I did Karaoke with my friend Smitty. There was a good crowd and my rendition of Billy Joel's "Piano Man" went over rather well, if I do say so myself. I played my "C" Suzuki Tremolo Harmonica and I can play circles around Billy Joel's harp work, but I wish I had taken piano lessons rather than Guitar lessons when I was 10 years old.

Playing piano when you are a male child is considered sissy, but that was before we found out that Billy Joel could grow up to marry Kristy Brinkley and Harry Connick, Jr. would play Carnege Hall.

Who Knew?

UPDATE: 3:20 AM 7/15/05 I forgot to mention Bruce Hornsby and Elton John in my listing of piano players I admire...

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Gosh Darn It...

Well, we've set here non stop since about 10:00 AM watching NASA TV broadcast the Astronauts getting suited up and loaded into the shuttle, and just as they got the last guy strapped into his elaborate seat a $50 "low hydrogen sensor" on the external fuel tank decided to go on the fritz.

They've unloaded everybody and the guys with sliderules and taped glasses are clammoring around trying to decide what to do next. Hopefully they can recycle and launch tomorrow.

NASACAR???

Not a half hour after I bragged about wanting to watch the space shuttle Discovery launch tomorrow I found this story about a “cockpit window” cover falling off and damaging some of the heat resistant tiles.

OK, I can’t resist poking a little fun here, although I guarantee you that I wish only the best for the mission tomorrow.

My comedian idol and fellow Georgia Tech Alumni, Jeff Foxworthy, has a series of jokes he does about NASA—one of them involving my home state of ALABAMA.

Talking about Huntsville, Alabama, Jeff says “they might be building them (the rockets) there, but they ain’t letting people from there (Alabama) fly them."

I think that I’d be offended if I didn’t know that Jeff honestly thought that he knew what he was talking about. I can just see my old friend Gerrald Wynn saying "Hey Houston...it's dark as crap up here..."

The news article says:

“NASA was dealt a setback when a window cover fell off shuttle Discovery and damaged thermal tiles near the tail. But the space agency quickly fixed the problem and said it was still on track for launch Wednesday.

A lightweight plastic cover on one of Discovery's cockpit windows came loose while the spaceship was on the launch pad, falling more than 60 feet and striking a bulge in the fuselage, said Stephanie Stilson, the NASA manager in charge of Discovery's launch preparations.

No one knows why the cover -- held in place with tape and weighing less than 2 pounds -- fell off, she said. The covers are used prior to launch to protect the shuttle's windows, then removed before liftoff.


Two tiles on an aluminum panel were damaged, and the entire panel was replaced with a spare in what Stilson said was a minor repair job.”


See, the story proves that at least part the shuttle was designed in Alabama, probably by some NASCAR fans, because there is duct tape involved--and there's probably some Bondo in the repair job when all things were said and done.

Come to think of it, I believe that NASA and NASCAR should be merged. Think about it with me for a minute.

First, it would save a whole bunch of tax dollars. Imagine shuttles and other future rockets sponsored by Chevy and Dodge, painted with the logos for Nextel, Viagra, Home Depot, Lowes, and M&M's.

Instead of the mission control announcer saying "5,4,3,2,1, liftoff"...it could be Toby Keith saying "Gentlemen...start your engines."

Or instead of letting some nerd push a button to launch the rocket, some chick with fake boobs wearing a tight skirt could wave a green flag and some old astronauts could yell "boogity, boogity, boogity" as the plume of fire and smoke rises off the launch pad.

It would also give a whole new meaning to the term...

SPACE RACE.

America Returns to Space

Just in case you were wondering what I’ll be doing at about 3:51 PM Eastern Standard Time this afternoon, I’ll be watching the NASA TV Webcast of the Space Shuttle Discovery launch.

Rumor has it that the TV Networks are going to cover the launch live so those of you that don’t have cable or DSL internet service can watch it too, but if you have fast internet you should check out the NASA site for some cool images.

Unlike much of the American people and the balance of the world, I still get excited about things that fly, especially things that can obtain orbital velocity of 18,000 MPH.

Let's hope that NASA has got it's act back together and everyone is safely delivered to orbit, docks with the space station, and comes home in one piece.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Southern Comfort Food

Stress like that associated with hurricanes makes people do strange things.

Stress like that makes ME do even STRANGER things, at all hours of the day and night.

For instance, take a look at this picture:


Goober Peas... Posted by Picasa

Defense Exhibit A, the substance in the big boiler, is 4 pounds of nice, fresh, green Georgia peanuts.

Surrounding Exhibit A is a couple of gallons of water, seasoned with about 1-1/2 cups of kosher salt, some tabasco, red pepper, and a great deal of patience and love expended over four hours of soaking and cooking at a low temperature simmer.

The items in the middle on the paper towel are peanuts that gave their lives in the name of quality control.

I'm cooking right now as I write, and I sure hope that there are some peanuts left to eat when they are done cooking...

Let’s Go Through This…ONCE AGAIN

I like to think of myself as a nice guy—you know?

I’m also a businessman.

Further, I’m also really concerned about the recent victims of Hurricane Dennis down there in Florida and Alabama.

I want to help their situation. Not just praying or donating five dollars or some canned goods, I want to really do something to assist in the shortage of supplies in the area affected by the storm, and I also want to make a little profit for my efforts—nothing extreme, just some extra cash in return for my time and energy.

I know—GENERATORS…they need generators…and I’ll go get some (generators) and haul them down there (to the hurricane victims in Florida) and sell them for a reasonable price—my out of pocket cost plus 25%. That’s not too much profit, is it? Furniture companies often make between 50% and 75% mark up on sofas and chairs—so 25% shouldn’t be too much to ask.

Yes, that’s the ticket!

I spring into action, first I get out my credit card and call around the local area looking for generators for sale. Bad news…since we live near the coast and it’s hurricane season, there are only a half dozen generators to be found in the area.

I know…go to a big city, away from the ocean, like ATLANTA—they certainly have to have lots of generators for sale in Atlanta. I crank up the Internet and book an airline ticket on Delta to Atlanta from Brunswick and a return flight next week from Panama City, Florida back to St. Simons through Atlanta.

Cost: $678.00

Next I go on line and rent a U-Haul truck that I will pick up in Atlanta and use for seven days driving around Atlanta to pick up my goods and to drive my generators from Atlanta to the Florida Gulf coast area.

Cost $766.00

I pack my suitcase, catch a few hours of sleep, and at 6:10 AM this morning I’m on an airplane on my way to Hartsfield Jackson International Airport. I snag a Starbucks Latte and a bagel on my way through the airport.

Cost $16.00

After picking up my luggage, a half hour taxi ride later I’m standing at the truck rental counter in Marietta, Georgia.

Cost $43.00

By the way, I also have also already spent one half of a day of my time in the venture so far, but I’m giving that away since I said before…”I’m a nice guy...”

So now as to the hard part—I need some generators to sell down there in Florida. Off to Home Depot and Lowes.

Vroommm Vrooommm in my rental truck

I buy all the generators I can get my hands on—new, still in the boxes—in several sizes. The little portable units that will run a few lights like the little Honda EN2500 that only costs me $665, and the larger 6500 watt electric start Honda units that set me back a little over $3200 retail.

Cost: (20) 6500’s and (40) 2500’s = $90,600 plus tax…not exactly chump change…

It’s still daylight, so after having my truck loaded full of generators, I hit the road for the six hour drive down to ground zero, arriving outside Ft. Walton at the Motel 6 having reserved a room for five nights.

Cost $500.00

On Wednesday morning I call the local day labor company and arrange to hire two assistants to support my sales effort.

Cost $200.00 per day x 5 days = $1000

Escambia and Walton Counties aren't stupid, they're in this for the moneyalso, so I have to buy a short term business license in each county and guess what...

Two licenses each x $125.00 = $250.00

I also need to pay for myself and my employees to eat for five days and I have to pay for gasoline to drive my truck from Atlanta, so I add in an additional $750.00 and my total expenses are…

(drum roll please……….$94603)

Now reality sets in. With expenses and a 25% profit, the EN2500 generators will cost you $900.00, and the 6500 watt models will cost $4075.00.

Being the greedy capitalist that I am, I stand to earn a tidy $22,897.00 for seven days worth of work.

NOW THE BAD NEWS…

Most governors (including Jeb Bush,) legislators, and many of my readers call my business idea...

“PRICE GOUGING”

I say I’ll just stay home here on St. Simons and let the poor Floridians and Alabamians sit at home in the dark.

After all, they could have bought a generator BEFORE the storm hit, when they were sitting around on the shelves like leaves on a tree (like my father did), rather than waiting for me to deliver them to them now, using the government to force me to sell them to them at a discount price, AFTER the hurricane has come plowing on shore in their back yard.

Where is Sam Kinnison when you need him?



Tell 'em Sam... Posted by Picasa

Monday, July 11, 2005

Hurricane Reruns

I was snooping around on the Web this morning looking for gruesome photos of damage from Hurricane Dennis and I found out something I didn’t already know.

The NOAA Hurricane name list isn’t original each year, and some years it comes back up in the same order. I knew that they retired names if a kick ass storm kills a bunch of people and levels a couple of dozen miles of ocean front property like Andrew, Camile, and Hugo did, but I didn’t think that storm names came back up in short periods of time like—six years?

Here’s the link to the news story, and here’s the picture of Hurricanes Cindy and Dennis, and Tropical Storm Emily floating around the Atlantic in 1999:



Hurricane Reruns? Posted by Picasa

Leave it to the Imperial Federal Government of the United States to cut corners…how about some original names for our storms, Guys?

I suppose that they'll have to raise my taxes to do that...

If I’m Gonna Be A “Tool”

I want to be a “POWER TOOL,” and I want a reputable brand name stamped on my handle…

“WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Political groups preparing to battle over the first U.S. Supreme Court nomination in 11 years have a powerful new tool -- Internet blogs -- to spread information quickly and influence decision makers without relying on traditional media.

Web logs likely numbering in the dozens provide a way for the thoughtful and the passionate to publish their views. Politicians are taking notice as they prepare for the first high court nomination fight since the Internet became common in American households.”

Would the idea of “(blogs) likely numbering in the dozens” be a fair assessment of the current blogging situation?

This same Reuters article, in typical inaccurate MSM fashion, goes on to say:

“A recent study by the Pew Internet and American Life Project said that 7 percent of the 120 million U.S. adults who use the Internet have created a blog or web-based diary.”

Gee whiz, let’s see here…cracking out my fifth grade math book…

7% of 120,000,000 equals...

.07 x 120,000,000 equals…………..uhhhhhhh……. 8.4 million?

Eight million, four hundred thousand blogs?

I thought that they said “likely numbering in the dozens”—talk about the gift of understatement.

As a Blogger, I do like being referred to as “A TOOL” rather than “a fool.”

Here’s a picture of the tool I’d like to be so I could help the recent hurricane victims:


My altered ego Posted by Picasa

I'd be a STIHL MS 880 Magnum Chain Saw...trees everywhere are shaking in their roots...

July 11th Public Service Announcement

Today’s date represents the anniversary of several important milestones in my life and for that reason I can’t let it pass by without commenting.

On this day in 1981 I was standing at the altar as a groomsman for a great friend, Andy, who was marring a wonderful woman, Laura, to which he is still married to today. How she has put up with him for all these years, I’ll never know…(just kidding.)

Happy Anniversary guys, I hope to make it up your way to see you again soon.

Also, on this day in 1985 I found myself sitting at a Lawyer’s conference table in Smyrna, Georgia signing the loan papers to purchase my first house. I was only 25 years old then, and little did I know at that time how much responsibility home ownership would be. Twenty years and two houses later and I’m back to renting my own abode from a landlord, and acting as a slumlord by renting my properties to other people.

And finally, my friends Andy and Laura had three children together in their ensuing 24 years of marriage and if my memory doesn’t fail me, I believe that their middle child, Hunter, was born on July 11th —so I’d like to say happy birthday to Hunter.


…We now return you to the regularly scheduled broadcast already in progress…

Sunday, July 10, 2005

It Might Be Our Turn

As Hurricane Dennis fades from the news headlines and into memory and the clean-up begins, I’m sitting here wondering what ever happened to all the news stories about shark attacks and Natalee Holloway down in Aruba.

Remember them?

Then I realized that there is another woman that currently resides west of Aruba that might just ultimately be coming to visit us here on St. Simons Island.

Here’s her picture:


My New Girlfriend Posted by Picasa

She's just a toddler right now, a so called Tropical Depression 5, but by next Monday or Tuesday she could be standing outside our door as a full grown PMSing Bitch named Hurricane Emily.

I hope she chooses somewhere else to go to on vacation.

Does Somebody Actually Care?

I can’t help but be "extremely" disinterested in stories like this one:

Skateboarder Clears Great Wall of China

“Los Angeles--Daredevil skateboarder Danny Way rolled down a massive ramp at nearly 50 mph and jumped across the Great Wall of China on Saturday, becoming the first person to clear the wall without motorized aid, an event sponsor said…

"I was aware of the dangers and my heart was pumping in my chest the whole time, but I managed to pull it off with the help of my team, and I'm honored to have my visions embraced by the people of China," Way said in a statement.

A crowd of several thousand people, including China's ministers of extreme sports and culture, gathered at the Ju Yong Guan Gate about a 40-minute drive from Beijing, Quiksilver's greater China marketing director Ryan Hollis said.”

So let me get me get this straight, the “People’s Republic of China” has become so hip as to actually designate someone to be the “Minister of Extreme Sports and Culture?”

Are the sidewalks and parks in China infested with gangly crowds of pimply faced teens wearing baggy shorts, each sporting a skateboard in one hand and a cell phone in the other?

Are teams of young Chinese men doing “extreme”tricks with rickshaws or bicycles with sidecars?

Is the "Minister of Extreme Sports and Culture" sanctioning events in China featuring same?

I think that most skateboarders (and many snowboarders for that matter) are like fleas on a dog, infesting our planet and wrecking havoc on public places, damaging handrails, stair treads, and monuments with their idiotic “extreme sports” antics.

Most of these kids need to put down their skateboards, turn off their PlayStations, and start studying their school books and doing their homework because the odds of actually making any money as a professional skateboarder are even less than that of playing in the NBA, NFL, or in major league baseball.

I guess I’m just getting to be an old Fogie...

They Say Close Only Counts In Horseshoes and Hand Grenades

I’d like to add Hurricanes to that listing—and Dennis was too close for comfort—but my Mom survived relatively unscathed.

A little rain, a little wind, and a little while spent without electrical power.

After a little yard cleanup, Dennis will be relegated to being a not so fond memory.

From One Extreme, To The Other…

Continuing my “Devil May Care” attitude, I spent an hour at the pool this afternoon under the clouds, ignoring the weather on TV, instead choosing to sit outside and watch the 25 to 35 MPH wind gusts pushing the plastic pool furniture around the pool deck and making the big American Flag flap furiously on the adjacent flagpole.

About 3:30 PM I was driven inside by a burst of rainfall—they’ve been predicting buckets of rain here for two days and none was had, but finally a little water arrived, courtesy of Hurricane Dennis.

When I got back home I found that the storm was just coming on shore slightly east of Pensacola, Florida. I feel sorry for the poor bastards that own houses out there near Navarre Beach and anywhere else on Santa Rosa “Island,” because “Santa Rosa Island” should be called “Santa Rosa Sandbar.”

If you’ve ever been there, you know what I mean.

There will be whole houses tipped over on their sides in the bay and the local Holiday Inn will probably be out of business for two years again like it was after Hurricane Opal in 1995. God help all of the fools that have bought in on the new ten story condos they were building up and down the formerly pristine beaches in that area.

I believe that I’ll take time out to watch today’s NASCAR race on TV from Chicago and try to take my mind off of this natural disaster for a while.

At the risk of exhibiting extreme vanity, go check out this posting, the second one I wrote last fall when I started the blog…its called NASCAR Hype.

And keep your fingers and toes crossed for my Mom’s good fortune…

Hurricane Eye For The Straight Guy

Well, here I sit—Hundreds of miles away, but I don’t know who is hyperventilating more—me or The Weather Channel’s Heather Tesch and Jim “The Weather God” Cantori.

Who bought Heather that funky paisley top anyway—her great Aunt? I think that the show's producers need to stop smoking whatever they are smoking and do some wardrobe screening prior to letting these girls on the number one show on world wide TV right now…can you imagine the number of people watching The Weather Channel today?

It looks like my old buddy Dennis has decided to tilt back westward just enough to spare my mother’s farm in Alabama from bearing the brunt of its onslaught.

Please help me by keeping your fingers, toes, and anything else you want to cross, crossed over the next few hours.

Well, I’m afraid that it’s happening again.

I took a couple hour nap early last evening, and then stayed up much of the rest of the night to follow Hurricane Dennis’ progress. I even took a half hour swim in the pool about 1 AM.

When I went to bed after the 4 AM National Weather Service forecast of the storm track it looked like Mobile was going to be ground zero for the assault. Things looked pretty good for my Mom’s chances of avoiding significant wind damage.

Now I’m awake again and I’ve gotten back on the Internet and learned that the storm has stopped its westward progression, taking a turn directly north toward the Destin/Santa Rosa Island area. That’s bad news—and the Weather Channel TV broadcast just finally admitted same.

Here is what bothers me. If you happen to be unfortunate enought to reside on the eastern side of the eye of a landfalling Hurricane, within the inner 50 to 75 miles of the roar and confusion, you get to enjoy the brunt of the party--whether you want to or not.

Mom may just end up in that situation.

Being the amateur meteorologist that I am, I’ve checked my own resources and here is what I know so far. NOAA Buoy 42039 located about 115 nautical miles SSE of Pensacola reports wave heights of 32.8 feet and wind gusts of 58.3 KTS. Further, they are reporting the top wind speeds running about 145 MPH.

The only good news is that Mom hasn’t had much rain so far, so at least when the winds get there the trees won’t just tip over and pull out of the ground like they did during Hurricane Opal.

Technology is a wonderful thing, but sometimes ignorance is bliss…

Living Dangerously

I was just a teenager in high school when I experienced my first Hurricane. The odd thing was, until that day in September, 1975, when Hurricane Eloise hit Ozark, Alabama I didn’t realize how often I would soon be involved in worrying about this fairly common natural phenomena.

They say that hurricane activity runs in cycles, and the first 16 years of my life had been lived in what is currently described as a lull in hurricane formation—1968’s monster Hurricane Cammile that struck Mississippi being the rather spectacular singular exception.

The Southern Atlantic and Gulf Coasts of the United States are known to bear the brunt of the effects of the worldwide hurricane activity almost every year. I think that you will agree, however, that most Americans will trade a nice fat juicy Hurricane Hugo or Hurricane Andrew for the Christmas Tsunami that hit southeastern Asia last year, almost any day.

Hurricane Eloise came knocking on our front door fairly early on that September morning. My father was out of town traveling in New England on business, and my mother and sister and I awoke expecting to begin a normal school day, but instead learned through radio and TV news reports that the storm had unexpectedly shifted its course overnight from a predicted Mobile, Alabama landfall to coming ashore with 110 MPH winds near Panama City, Florida. I hope Dennis doesn’t decide to do the same tonight.

Of course back then there was no Weather Channel and tropical storm forecasting was basically still in its infancy by today’s standards, so we couldn’t blame the local weather guys for missing the details until the last minute.

My memory is that the intensity of the storm built up incrementally, and just when you thought that the wind couldn’t blow any harder and the trees couldn’t bend any farther, the wind blew still harder and the trees simply broke off half way up. In then end, we had over twenty big pine trees down in our yard. Probably half of them started out not standing in our yard, but on the adjacent vacant lot.

My new little Honda Civic had been pounded to death with pine cones and looked like someone had beat it all over with a ball peen hammer. Large pines had just missed our motor home and the Honda—instead laying parallel to each vehicle in some miraculous God-given stroke of fate.

We had half of a big pine tree laying on and sticking through the roof of the house, the power lines to the house were down, and there were two or three dump truck loads of leaves and other organic litter in the yard. When you walked outside, you literally were walking on TOP of piles of pieces of trees.

When the eye of the storm passed over our town, I went outside, over my mother’s objections, and cranked up the chainsaw and started cutting up critical pieces of trees to get a head start on the cleanup. Over the next few days the Alabama National Guard came by and removed the tree from our roof with a boom-truck and some local pulpwood contractors came by to pick up the larger tree trunks. It was a couple of years before things returned to normal at our house, and we lived 120 miles inland from where the storm made landfall.

Since that time, Hurricanes Opal in 1995, Ivan last year, and several other tropical storms and Hurricanes have wrecked havoc on our lives in southern Alabama. Opal beat Eloise by ten or twenty percent in actual impact—particularly since I wasn’t there to help my parents do the clean-up. Last year we dodged a total of five tropical storms and Hurricanes here on St. Simons.

Until I moved to Mexico Beach in 2001, I made a point, every time I visited the beach, to spend a few moments looking out at the shoreline and meditating—realizing that when and if I had the opportunity to return to that location months or years later that it might not be there—or might have been substantially changed by a hurricane. I still think about how easily the landscape around me could change here on St. Simons any day this Hurricane season.

I hope, when it is all said and done this morning, that somehow the minimum damage and effects will be realized by Hurricane Dennis, where ever it decides to come ashore.

Based on what I’m seeing right now, things don’t look too good…

National Weather Service--All Lathered UP

Being the weather nerd that I am, I subscribe to the National Weather Service Hurricane Center E-mail list. You can get twenty e-mails in just a couple of hours, but it gives you some interesting insights into the goings-on behind the scenes in the professional weather forcasting business.

I just got this text in an E-mail from the National Weather Service:

"AFTER DEEPENING AT A RATE THAT BORDERED ON INSANE DURING THE AFTERNOON...DENNIS HAS CONTINUED TO STRENGTHEN AT A MORE NORMAL RATE THIS EVENING. REPORTS FROM AN AIR FORCE RESERVE HURRICANE HUNTER AIRCRAFT SHOW THAT THE CENTRAL PRESSURE HAS FALLEN TO 941MB...WITH MAXIMUM FLIGHT-LEVEL WINDS OF 122 KT IN THE NORTHEAST QUADRANT.

BASED ON THIS...THE INITIAL INTENSITY IS 110 KT. IT IS EXPECTED THAT WHEN THE AIRCRAFT AGAIN SAMPLES THE NORTHEAST EYE WALL THAT IT WILL FIND STRONGER WINDS THAT WILL JUSTIFY UPGRADING DENNIS TO A CATEGORY FOUR HURRICANE. IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT ALTHOUGH DENNIS HAS A VERY LARGE OUTER WIND FIELD... THE HURRICANE FORCE WINDS ARE CONFINED TO A VERY SMALL AREA NEAR THE CENTER."

I think that somebody needs some decaf coffee down there in Miami...