I've got my green underwear on...how about you?
You just got to love a country that has a patron saint like Saint Patrick that can induce the public to drink zillions of gallons of green libations once a year.
Let's all turn in unison, face northeast across the Atlantic, and give our Irish friends a nice salute.
Meanwhile, I’d like to point out that the second largest celebration in the US outside of NY City will be happening in Savannah, Georgia, just up I-95 from us today.
They’re expecting about 300,000 revelers to attend. This, in a city of about 130,000 according the 2000 census.
Can you say Gridlock?
I last visited Savannah (only about 70 miles north of me now as I write) on St. Paddy's Day in 1983 with my college friend Randy.
I had no idea what I was getting into.
We drove down in his roommate's VW Jetta and when we got to town there wasn't a motel room to be found. Of course anyone with any sense knew that in that day the rooms were all booked up at least a year in advance.
Today I think you would be making reservations for 2010 at best.
Any way...we ended up sleeping in the car that night, parked on the curb of one of Savannah's famous "squares." Besides having street sweeper trucks driving past endlessly, we were also awakened about 2 AM by a female cop that ended up feeling sorry for us and let us sleep un-rousted until daylight. She even stopped back by a couple of times to check on us (I think she liked Randy.)
The second night was spent in an old fleabag hotel out on Tybee Island that had a shower that came preloaded with beach sand and where you picked up your black and white TV with a set of "rabbit ear" antenna in the office when you checked in.
It only cost a couple of bucks extra, so we splurged on the TV in order to be able to watch the news.
The parade, even back then, was a monstrous affair that lasted three or four hours in total, and the downtown streets were packed with participants wearing funny green hats and ties and with nubile young girls sporting body parts that they were willing to show in public in return for beads and other trinkets.
I saw the best "cat fight" I've ever seen that day. These two little 100 pound girls beat the shit out of each other, presumably over nothing, and when they got through they were both bloody and half naked...with hand full size hanks of hair laying on the ground at their feet.
The crowd was quite happy to cheer their progress on, and a couple of sideline fights erupted among some of the spectators and the "gentlemen" that were enduring the lonely task of escorting these two lovely young ladies.
In the end, we staggered up and down River Street in the crush of the crowd, bumped into a few other college friends, tried to drink all of the green beer, found ourselves to be unsuccessful, and slithered back home with a hangover the next day, never to return except for any day except St. Patrick’s day.
I’ve visited Savannah and Port Wentworth many times since, and I can actually drive around the city without needing a roadmap, but I’ve never been back for St. Paddy’s day. I feel the same way about New Orleans now, except that Katrina may have made the Big Easy endurable again as a side effect.
Any hooooo…I hope that you have a lovely day there in your green garments.
Friday, March 17, 2006
If I Were Commander In Chef Chief
My New World Map
'Nuff said, I think...
(Hat tip to Roger over at Curmudgeonly & Skeptical for the image.)
'Nuff said, I think...
(Hat tip to Roger over at Curmudgeonly & Skeptical for the image.)
When All You Have Is A Hammer
I Guess Everything Looks Like a Nail
I’m going to start this rant at the end, and then work backwards to the beginning--where I think that the problem lies.
Please take a gander at these paragraphs from Thursday’s edition of The Brunswick News online edition:
“The eagles under her control will be turned over to the DNR, Page said, but the responsibility for placing the rest of them will lie with her.
If she is unable to find a new home for the sanctuary, Page said that federal mandates require her to place the birds with educational programs or euthanize them.”
You see that?
That is your Federal and our State Government at work, ladies and gentlemen.
Instead of allowing people like me and you to own and maintain certain animals and specifically listed birds as pets in our homes, the stupid assed idiots that we have elected (and/or the highly paid morons that have been hired by those same elected idiots) would rather that the animals be KILLED if government approved “shelter space” isn’t available.
Is this a prelude to what is going to happen when we finally give government full control of our sick citizens and our old people?
Just kill grandpa when the nursing home is full and you don't want him doddering around your back yard or climbing up in your Philodendron in the foyer looking for his wallet.
Yeah...that's a good solution...an atypical form of a government solution.
I don't know where to place the blame here--with the tree hugger socialists in general, or maybe it should go squarely on the backs of the gullible Democrats that have been responsible for passing most of the endangeredfeces species legislation in the first place.
I just know that this "spotted owl and snail darter fish" crap makes my head spin. How the hell can people that grew up inside concrete buildings, surrounded by miles of asphalt and concrete know one damn thing about any living being except possibly cockroaches and ants?
They can have my fair share of ants and roaches--just leave my red tailed hawks and chipmunks alone, dammit.
Now to the beginning of the story.
There is an elderly couple, Al and Emmy Minor, which are fortunate enough to own land out on Sapelo Island about ten miles from here. Sapelo is one of Georgia’s many pristine barrier islands that doesn’t have a road connecting it with the mainland.
If you go to Sapelo, you either go by boat, else you put on your bathing suit and swim a few thousand strokes.
I’d love to live there, but I hear grocery shopping is a bitch--plan on taking the day to do it.
Any way…Mr. and Mrs. Minor have, since the early 1980’s, leased 10 acres of land to a non-profit animal sanctuary operated by Nan Page.
It has cared for more than 10,000 birds, including owls, pelicans, red-tailed hawks and gulls. Small mammals such as opossums, otters, raccoons and foxes have also been cared for.
Ms. Page is lamenting her problem in losing her lease on the Minor’s land at the end of this month. She may have to close the shelter as a result.
But what is the real reason that this much needed shelter is on the verge of being shut down?
Enter the aforementioned stupid assed government idiots, stage right.
May I have a drum roll…please…
GOVERNMENT REGULATIONS are making it impossible for the shelter to continue to operate because the couple that owns the land can’t or won’t be able to meet their (the government’s) requirements.
Al and Emmy Minor, founders and former operators of the sanctuary, are not renewing the center's lease on the 10 acres that has been used for wildlife shelter and rehabilitation when it expires March 31.
"It's just become too much for us to handle, age-wise," Mrs. Minor said.
While officially removed from the sanctuary's day-to-day operations, the Minors still live close by and have remained involved in a lessened capacity.
Birds – including hawks and eagles – come to the sanctuary by way of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, the Georgia Department of Natural Resources and veterinarians' offices.
Mrs. Minor said the center currently houses about 11 birds, including a newborn bald eaglet.
In addition to the challenges involved in keeping the nonprofit center afloat financially and maintaining its facilities, Mrs. Minor said an increase in regulations has taken a toll on current director Nan Page's efforts in running the facility – challenges which, in turn, take a toll on her.
"Sometimes they just make it so difficult," she said of the rules. "To go to a school carrying a hawk, Nan needed permission from Fish and Wildlife. They said each hawk used needed to live in its own separate cage. And then she needed another cage to transport them to the school. Then she needed a big van just to hold the required cage."
What kind of crap is that?
I want to go out and kick anyone's ass that is stupid enough to force well intended people to KILL ANIMALS in the name of government regulations.
Isn't the prevention of the abuse and death the orginal reason for having laws about protected species in the first place?
What have these people been smoking?
I wish I had the money and land to take on this enterprise. Since I don’t, all I can do is point it out to YOU, my readers, and hope that someone steps forward to come to the shelter’s rescue.
I’ve heard that success is obtained when opportunity meets planning and preparation.
Government seems to simply involve idiocy and stupidity meeting tax dollars.
I’m going to start this rant at the end, and then work backwards to the beginning--where I think that the problem lies.
Please take a gander at these paragraphs from Thursday’s edition of The Brunswick News online edition:
“The eagles under her control will be turned over to the DNR, Page said, but the responsibility for placing the rest of them will lie with her.
If she is unable to find a new home for the sanctuary, Page said that federal mandates require her to place the birds with educational programs or euthanize them.”
You see that?
That is your Federal and our State Government at work, ladies and gentlemen.
Instead of allowing people like me and you to own and maintain certain animals and specifically listed birds as pets in our homes, the stupid assed idiots that we have elected (and/or the highly paid morons that have been hired by those same elected idiots) would rather that the animals be KILLED if government approved “shelter space” isn’t available.
Is this a prelude to what is going to happen when we finally give government full control of our sick citizens and our old people?
Just kill grandpa when the nursing home is full and you don't want him doddering around your back yard or climbing up in your Philodendron in the foyer looking for his wallet.
Yeah...that's a good solution...an atypical form of a government solution.
I don't know where to place the blame here--with the tree hugger socialists in general, or maybe it should go squarely on the backs of the gullible Democrats that have been responsible for passing most of the endangered
I just know that this "spotted owl and snail darter fish" crap makes my head spin. How the hell can people that grew up inside concrete buildings, surrounded by miles of asphalt and concrete know one damn thing about any living being except possibly cockroaches and ants?
They can have my fair share of ants and roaches--just leave my red tailed hawks and chipmunks alone, dammit.
Now to the beginning of the story.
There is an elderly couple, Al and Emmy Minor, which are fortunate enough to own land out on Sapelo Island about ten miles from here. Sapelo is one of Georgia’s many pristine barrier islands that doesn’t have a road connecting it with the mainland.
If you go to Sapelo, you either go by boat, else you put on your bathing suit and swim a few thousand strokes.
I’d love to live there, but I hear grocery shopping is a bitch--plan on taking the day to do it.
Any way…Mr. and Mrs. Minor have, since the early 1980’s, leased 10 acres of land to a non-profit animal sanctuary operated by Nan Page.
It has cared for more than 10,000 birds, including owls, pelicans, red-tailed hawks and gulls. Small mammals such as opossums, otters, raccoons and foxes have also been cared for.
Ms. Page is lamenting her problem in losing her lease on the Minor’s land at the end of this month. She may have to close the shelter as a result.
But what is the real reason that this much needed shelter is on the verge of being shut down?
Enter the aforementioned stupid assed government idiots, stage right.
May I have a drum roll…please…
GOVERNMENT REGULATIONS are making it impossible for the shelter to continue to operate because the couple that owns the land can’t or won’t be able to meet their (the government’s) requirements.
Al and Emmy Minor, founders and former operators of the sanctuary, are not renewing the center's lease on the 10 acres that has been used for wildlife shelter and rehabilitation when it expires March 31.
"It's just become too much for us to handle, age-wise," Mrs. Minor said.
While officially removed from the sanctuary's day-to-day operations, the Minors still live close by and have remained involved in a lessened capacity.
Birds – including hawks and eagles – come to the sanctuary by way of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, the Georgia Department of Natural Resources and veterinarians' offices.
Mrs. Minor said the center currently houses about 11 birds, including a newborn bald eaglet.
In addition to the challenges involved in keeping the nonprofit center afloat financially and maintaining its facilities, Mrs. Minor said an increase in regulations has taken a toll on current director Nan Page's efforts in running the facility – challenges which, in turn, take a toll on her.
"Sometimes they just make it so difficult," she said of the rules. "To go to a school carrying a hawk, Nan needed permission from Fish and Wildlife. They said each hawk used needed to live in its own separate cage. And then she needed another cage to transport them to the school. Then she needed a big van just to hold the required cage."
What kind of crap is that?
I want to go out and kick anyone's ass that is stupid enough to force well intended people to KILL ANIMALS in the name of government regulations.
Isn't the prevention of the abuse and death the orginal reason for having laws about protected species in the first place?
What have these people been smoking?
I wish I had the money and land to take on this enterprise. Since I don’t, all I can do is point it out to YOU, my readers, and hope that someone steps forward to come to the shelter’s rescue.
I’ve heard that success is obtained when opportunity meets planning and preparation.
Government seems to simply involve idiocy and stupidity meeting tax dollars.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Almost Famous
My Head Is Spinning
OK, in fit of audacity, I packed up my church drawings and dragged them clumsily around the island today to get some quotes on making some copies for sale and to get some opinions about the quality of my work.
pinch me...please...
ALMOST EVERYBODY WANTS THEM...or at least copies thereof.
But...
In a last minute fit of self aggrandizing conniption and hyperbole, I went by the Left Bank Gallery --Thee number one, Thee most extravigant, Thee singular local that requires the lifting of one's eyebrows and the rising of one's pinkie fingers into the air while drinking tea, Thee most "Arty Farty" Art gallery on the island, and guess what?
The staff there loved my work.
Further, I have a presentation/interview on March 31st with Mrs. Wilcox--Proprieter.
Stuff sold in her establishment starts in the thousand dollar range...
Who want's to meet me in Miami--I sense a nice vacation coming on while spending the proceeds earned from my efforts?
Now where are my pens, I have to get back to my drawings???
OK, in fit of audacity, I packed up my church drawings and dragged them clumsily around the island today to get some quotes on making some copies for sale and to get some opinions about the quality of my work.
pinch me...please...
ALMOST EVERYBODY WANTS THEM...or at least copies thereof.
But...
In a last minute fit of self aggrandizing conniption and hyperbole, I went by the Left Bank Gallery --Thee number one, Thee most extravigant, Thee singular local that requires the lifting of one's eyebrows and the rising of one's pinkie fingers into the air while drinking tea, Thee most "Arty Farty" Art gallery on the island, and guess what?
The staff there loved my work.
Further, I have a presentation/interview on March 31st with Mrs. Wilcox--Proprieter.
Stuff sold in her establishment starts in the thousand dollar range...
Who want's to meet me in Miami--I sense a nice vacation coming on while spending the proceeds earned from my efforts?
Now where are my pens, I have to get back to my drawings???
if uyo acn raed htis
uyo'er oto admn loces
int's ti ufynn hwo het uhmna brani owrks?
thsi hpenoemna xelpiasn hwy i hvae tourlbe rwitngi wtihuto spellcheck.
int's ti ufynn hwo het uhmna brani owrks?
thsi hpenoemna xelpiasn hwy i hvae tourlbe rwitngi wtihuto spellcheck.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Real Life Is Stranger Than Fiction
Satirical Satire
Have I ever mentioned that I’m basically a religious person?
No?
Well, I am, to varying degrees throughout my life.
That said, let me tell you that I don’t actively participate in an organized religion any more because I think that most organized religion sucks.
I find that churches are generally filled with haughty, self important morons.
If it weren’t for PEOPLE, I’d be in church every Sunday because I love the buildings.
Unfortunately, it’s many of the church members that I have a hard time stomaching—particularly the ones that caused the phrase “holier than thou” to be coined in reference thereof or thereto.
Further, I think that if you want to get yourself screwed financially or otherwise, just drop your pants and bend over anywhere near a church or the people that routinely inhabit churches and they’ll be happy to anoint your ass with a healthy dose of Vaseline and proceed to have their way with you physically and/or mentally.
Case in point…
My parents helped start a church back in the late 1960’s when the United Methodist Church lost their mind and all of the Preachers in training at Emory University in Atlanta started living with their girlfriends (and boyfriends.) I guess that the last straw was when the church doctrine started assaulting the idea of the virgin birth of Christ
…yada…yada…yada.
One thing that you don’t do is insult someone’s religion, but the worst thing you can do is insult said religion from inside the walls of the Church sanctuary. That’s what the “powers what be” up on the hill in the Methodist Church started doing in the late 60’s, and it caused an exodus of members that ran out and formed what we called “The Independent Methodist Church.”
I think that it’s still around today.
Any way, my family started one (a new church) with a few other families. We hired this wonderful, sweet old man—a retired Army Chaplin—as a minister, and it wasn’t long before there were 80 people showing up at our services held in the County library each Sunday.
Our only rules were that you were sincere about your faith in God and…BYORS
BYORS means “Bring your own Rattlesnake.”
Actually I’m just kidding about the rattlesnake part—a rattlesnake would have cleared out the building with our crowd, and I would have gotten my ass beaten for bringing a reptile into the proceedings. I did think about it, however.
Any way, it wasn’t long before they had established a building fund, bought a few acres of land out on the “Bypass”, and bricks and mortar ensued. My dad helped draw up the plans and I built a scale model of the building out of cardboard.
The members did as much work as they could to save money on the construction. We spent practically every Saturday out clearing the land before construction began or staining doors and Alter Railings in the finish process.
It’s one thing to show up in an old church building on Sunday and go through the motions of a worship service, but I’ve witnessed a special pride that is the reward that can only be gained by participating in actually building the building
The problems started when we adopted a group of professional “Holy Rollers.”
Did you know about “Professional Holy Rollers”?
These people are to churches like fleas and ticks are to a dog.
Sort of an infestation, if you will.
They wander around the community touting their wild eyed zealous beliefs and they actually embarrass and intimidate the weaker members of congregations into coming along with them. One day you’re reciting the Apostles’ Creed and singing the Doxology, and the next Sunday you’ve got people speaking in tongues and TESTIFYING FOR THE LORD…HAWH J-E-S-U-SSSSSS.
If you don’t utter words in some sort of alien gibberish or proclaim your salvation at the top of your lungs at the drop of your hat, then you are considered clearly inferior in your faith and subject to a hearty dose of fire and brimstone along with the rest of the heathens.
The only problem is, the “Professional Holy Rollers” don’t always put their money where their Holy Rolling Mouths are. They rely on other people’s money to finance the carpeted halls of religious sanctuary where they do their Holy Rolling.
The only other problem was, all of us “Non-Holy Rolling” heathens’ parents names were on the mortgage of the church building title. Further, all of us “Non-Holy Rolling” heathens’ parents were making the tithes and tossing the checks in the offering plate that had built the building and paid the monthly payments on said mortgage.
In the end it was Holy Rollers 7, Heathens Parents 0.
We walked away from our church home and never looked back, AFTER having our names removed from the mortgage.
Bastards.
After seeing the agony that my parents and our friends were put through in the name of religion, I’ve never quite been able to commit myself to another congregation since.
Don’t get me wrong here—I believe in a God and all that, but I’m not quite certain if he is some old grey haired bearded guy that spends his time creaking around somewhere out past the planet Pluto, or if the real God is embodied in the collective consciousness of all of us humans that keep the world going forward on a daily basis and take good care of the kids and dogs and cats and everything else that needs doing in spite of Congress and the Democrats.
I can understand people getting upset when the “secular world” pokes fun at religion, but if religion and religious people wouldn’t give the heathens so much material to work with, then they could rest easy at home each evening and in church on Sunday.
Religions and religious people are their own worst enemies.
Why should they be immune from the occasional lampoon when they so obviously deserve it?
Most recently, Tom Cruise’s association with L Ron Hubbard’s Scientology religion has made a few headlines. I don’t care what the women think of his butt, I think Cruise is an overpaid idiot.
If he would just stick to acting—something I think he is pretty good at—and stop proving that he’s an idiot when he opens his mouth, everything would be fine…but he can’t.
More time with his mouth closed would give him extra time to spend running around chasing young tail, something else he has a talent for.
I’m also not a regular viewer of the Comedy Central show South Park, but I’ve seen enough of it to know that Trey Parker and the gang that write it aregeniuses equal opportunity insulters of religions everywhere.
The intro to every episode features a irreverent flying image of Jesus, but they balance things out with an ongoing Satin and Sadam Hussein in a Gay S&M Bondage relationship theme that cracks me up every time I see it.
One of my favorite South Park characters is the black school cafeteria cook “Chef”, based around the voice of the soul singer Isaac Hayes. I guess that I’ll have to resort to watching re-runs if I want to see Chef in the future, because Mr. Hayes has quit South Park because they did an episode poking fun at his religion….
What is his faith?
Scientology
This from a man that published a song called “Chocolate Salty Balls” that reached #1 on the chart in the UK a few years back. Here are a few of the words:
Two tablespoon's of cinnamon,
and two or three egg whites.
A half a stick of butter?.
Melted?
stick it all in a bowl baby.
Stir it with a wooden spoon.
Mix in a cup of flour,
you'll be in heaven soon.
Say everybody have you seen my balls
they're big and salty and brown.
If you ever need a quick pick me up
just stick my balls in your mouth.
Oooo suck on my chocolate salted balls
stick em in your mouth, and suck em!
Suck on my chocolate salted balls,
they're packed full of vitamins, and good for you.
So suck on my balls.
Sorry, Isaac…but I have to suggest that you remember the old problem with people living in glass houses and owning more than a few stones?
Have I ever mentioned that I’m basically a religious person?
No?
Well, I am, to varying degrees throughout my life.
That said, let me tell you that I don’t actively participate in an organized religion any more because I think that most organized religion sucks.
I find that churches are generally filled with haughty, self important morons.
If it weren’t for PEOPLE, I’d be in church every Sunday because I love the buildings.
Unfortunately, it’s many of the church members that I have a hard time stomaching—particularly the ones that caused the phrase “holier than thou” to be coined in reference thereof or thereto.
Further, I think that if you want to get yourself screwed financially or otherwise, just drop your pants and bend over anywhere near a church or the people that routinely inhabit churches and they’ll be happy to anoint your ass with a healthy dose of Vaseline and proceed to have their way with you physically and/or mentally.
Case in point…
My parents helped start a church back in the late 1960’s when the United Methodist Church lost their mind and all of the Preachers in training at Emory University in Atlanta started living with their girlfriends (and boyfriends.) I guess that the last straw was when the church doctrine started assaulting the idea of the virgin birth of Christ
…yada…yada…yada.
One thing that you don’t do is insult someone’s religion, but the worst thing you can do is insult said religion from inside the walls of the Church sanctuary. That’s what the “powers what be” up on the hill in the Methodist Church started doing in the late 60’s, and it caused an exodus of members that ran out and formed what we called “The Independent Methodist Church.”
I think that it’s still around today.
Any way, my family started one (a new church) with a few other families. We hired this wonderful, sweet old man—a retired Army Chaplin—as a minister, and it wasn’t long before there were 80 people showing up at our services held in the County library each Sunday.
Our only rules were that you were sincere about your faith in God and…BYORS
BYORS means “Bring your own Rattlesnake.”
Actually I’m just kidding about the rattlesnake part—a rattlesnake would have cleared out the building with our crowd, and I would have gotten my ass beaten for bringing a reptile into the proceedings. I did think about it, however.
Any way, it wasn’t long before they had established a building fund, bought a few acres of land out on the “Bypass”, and bricks and mortar ensued. My dad helped draw up the plans and I built a scale model of the building out of cardboard.
The members did as much work as they could to save money on the construction. We spent practically every Saturday out clearing the land before construction began or staining doors and Alter Railings in the finish process.
It’s one thing to show up in an old church building on Sunday and go through the motions of a worship service, but I’ve witnessed a special pride that is the reward that can only be gained by participating in actually building the building
The problems started when we adopted a group of professional “Holy Rollers.”
Did you know about “Professional Holy Rollers”?
These people are to churches like fleas and ticks are to a dog.
Sort of an infestation, if you will.
They wander around the community touting their wild eyed zealous beliefs and they actually embarrass and intimidate the weaker members of congregations into coming along with them. One day you’re reciting the Apostles’ Creed and singing the Doxology, and the next Sunday you’ve got people speaking in tongues and TESTIFYING FOR THE LORD…HAWH J-E-S-U-SSSSSS.
If you don’t utter words in some sort of alien gibberish or proclaim your salvation at the top of your lungs at the drop of your hat, then you are considered clearly inferior in your faith and subject to a hearty dose of fire and brimstone along with the rest of the heathens.
The only problem is, the “Professional Holy Rollers” don’t always put their money where their Holy Rolling Mouths are. They rely on other people’s money to finance the carpeted halls of religious sanctuary where they do their Holy Rolling.
The only other problem was, all of us “Non-Holy Rolling” heathens’ parents names were on the mortgage of the church building title. Further, all of us “Non-Holy Rolling” heathens’ parents were making the tithes and tossing the checks in the offering plate that had built the building and paid the monthly payments on said mortgage.
In the end it was Holy Rollers 7, Heathens Parents 0.
We walked away from our church home and never looked back, AFTER having our names removed from the mortgage.
Bastards.
After seeing the agony that my parents and our friends were put through in the name of religion, I’ve never quite been able to commit myself to another congregation since.
Don’t get me wrong here—I believe in a God and all that, but I’m not quite certain if he is some old grey haired bearded guy that spends his time creaking around somewhere out past the planet Pluto, or if the real God is embodied in the collective consciousness of all of us humans that keep the world going forward on a daily basis and take good care of the kids and dogs and cats and everything else that needs doing in spite of Congress and the Democrats.
I can understand people getting upset when the “secular world” pokes fun at religion, but if religion and religious people wouldn’t give the heathens so much material to work with, then they could rest easy at home each evening and in church on Sunday.
Religions and religious people are their own worst enemies.
Why should they be immune from the occasional lampoon when they so obviously deserve it?
Most recently, Tom Cruise’s association with L Ron Hubbard’s Scientology religion has made a few headlines. I don’t care what the women think of his butt, I think Cruise is an overpaid idiot.
If he would just stick to acting—something I think he is pretty good at—and stop proving that he’s an idiot when he opens his mouth, everything would be fine…but he can’t.
More time with his mouth closed would give him extra time to spend running around chasing young tail, something else he has a talent for.
I’m also not a regular viewer of the Comedy Central show South Park, but I’ve seen enough of it to know that Trey Parker and the gang that write it are
The intro to every episode features a irreverent flying image of Jesus, but they balance things out with an ongoing Satin and Sadam Hussein in a Gay S&M Bondage relationship theme that cracks me up every time I see it.
One of my favorite South Park characters is the black school cafeteria cook “Chef”, based around the voice of the soul singer Isaac Hayes. I guess that I’ll have to resort to watching re-runs if I want to see Chef in the future, because Mr. Hayes has quit South Park because they did an episode poking fun at his religion….
What is his faith?
Scientology
This from a man that published a song called “Chocolate Salty Balls” that reached #1 on the chart in the UK a few years back. Here are a few of the words:
and two or three egg whites.
A half a stick of butter?.
Melted?
stick it all in a bowl baby.
Stir it with a wooden spoon.
Mix in a cup of flour,
you'll be in heaven soon.
Say everybody have you seen my balls
they're big and salty and brown.
If you ever need a quick pick me up
just stick my balls in your mouth.
Oooo suck on my chocolate salted balls
stick em in your mouth, and suck em!
Suck on my chocolate salted balls,
they're packed full of vitamins, and good for you.
So suck on my balls.
Sorry, Isaac…but I have to suggest that you remember the old problem with people living in glass houses and owning more than a few stones?
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Deal...
Or No Deal
A little before 8 PM last night Pat and I wandered over to the Ritz Theater to watch the latest episode of the NBC TV show "Deal or No Deal."
A little before 8 PM last night Pat and I wandered over to the Ritz Theater to watch the latest episode of the NBC TV show "Deal or No Deal."
They had set up a giant projection TV on stage and a crowd of fifty or so people gathered to watch my buddy, Brunswick Mayor Bryan Thompson, win $202,000 in cold hard cash.
The show is a bit lame in my opinion because it's just a matter of pure luck how much money each contestant wins, but our good Mayor managed to kill an entire hour with his smooth people skills that got him elected in the first place.
Being the civic minded guy that he is, Bryan and his lovely wife Heather will be donating most of the after tax proceeds to various charitable causes here in Glynn County.
I, personally, will be stopping by with my hand out, looking for a little cash for my tree sculpture project.
And once I make it onto the show Jeopardy I'll demand that they set up a big TV at the Ritz so everyone can watch me crash and burn in front of a national TV audience.
My Mom and Pat will be so proud...
Monday, March 13, 2006
Those That Fail To Learn From History...
Are doomed to Relive It...
"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who
comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself
to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else,
for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of
creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the
person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an
American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says
he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at
all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have
room for but one language here, and that is the English language...
and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to
the American people."
T. Roosevelt (1907)
comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself
to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else,
for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of
creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the
person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an
American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says
he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at
all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have
room for but one language here, and that is the English language...
and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to
the American people."
T. Roosevelt (1907)
The Roar Of The Greasepaint
The Smell Of The Crowd
Sorry, but I just don't have a damn thing worth saying right now.
Some might say that is the case most of the time here on the blog.
My brain has a bad case of vapor lock this weekend and I haven't been able to shake it off in spite of my best efforts. I've got a long rant on transportation security started but I don't have the energy to do the research to finish it right now.
This morning I did manage to finally finish a nice pen and ink rendering of the old US Coast Guard station located at East Beach here on the island. I've already cranked through this drawing once and it came out pretty good, but I've refined my techniques a little, bought some new pen sizes, and pending a few final touches on the front door of the building I think that my second effort resembles a marketable product.
I'm making a photo trip later this morning to get some close up shots of that same door, along with some of another old church that had escaped my attentions last month. Since I have only entered one piece of art in the next Art Show/Competition, I hope to get them to let me toss a couple of extras in at the last minute (the exhibit allows three per artist.)
I've been looking into having my originals scanned and a limited number of copies printed for sale locally.
Good gosh it's expensive...
As far as I can tell, if you buy something that costs under $50 you're generally buying junk made in China or somewhere. I'm facing the grim realizations of the costs of framing, matting, and reproduction (not sex), and when I toss in a little profit for the starving artist (that would be me) it's easy to cross the $100 mark for what amounts to chicken scratchings on small sheets of fancy paper.
I have a hard time figuring out how to price art. Of course I can always sell the copies mounted on foam core board and matted for a lower price. I'm only worried because I want to at least recoup the up front costs--I have enough hobbies that cost money to participate in.
I want positive cash flow from this one.
Sorry, but I just don't have a damn thing worth saying right now.
Some might say that is the case most of the time here on the blog.
My brain has a bad case of vapor lock this weekend and I haven't been able to shake it off in spite of my best efforts. I've got a long rant on transportation security started but I don't have the energy to do the research to finish it right now.
This morning I did manage to finally finish a nice pen and ink rendering of the old US Coast Guard station located at East Beach here on the island. I've already cranked through this drawing once and it came out pretty good, but I've refined my techniques a little, bought some new pen sizes, and pending a few final touches on the front door of the building I think that my second effort resembles a marketable product.
I'm making a photo trip later this morning to get some close up shots of that same door, along with some of another old church that had escaped my attentions last month. Since I have only entered one piece of art in the next Art Show/Competition, I hope to get them to let me toss a couple of extras in at the last minute (the exhibit allows three per artist.)
I've been looking into having my originals scanned and a limited number of copies printed for sale locally.
Good gosh it's expensive...
As far as I can tell, if you buy something that costs under $50 you're generally buying junk made in China or somewhere. I'm facing the grim realizations of the costs of framing, matting, and reproduction (not sex), and when I toss in a little profit for the starving artist (that would be me) it's easy to cross the $100 mark for what amounts to chicken scratchings on small sheets of fancy paper.
I have a hard time figuring out how to price art. Of course I can always sell the copies mounted on foam core board and matted for a lower price. I'm only worried because I want to at least recoup the up front costs--I have enough hobbies that cost money to participate in.
I want positive cash flow from this one.
