Oh I Wish I Were An Oscar Meyer Weiner a NY Congressman

OK...NOT Really...


I don't know about you, but I'm really tired of having to pay for the $1,000 shoes and $250 ties worn by this little cocksucker "Congressman" A.K.A. Anthony Weiner:

In spite of being 6'3" tall, wearing size 13 shoes, and spending most of my life carrying around over 225 pounds on my frame, I still haven't used up as much oxygen and caused as much heartburn for the people around me as assholes like this little angry bastard has caused spending five less years than I have on the planet.

This little shit head really thinks that he is better than you and I, and he believes that his association with "Teflon Bill" Clinton via his recent marriage to sHrillary's valet is going to keep him from paying the price for sending photos of his semi engorged penis to everyone on Twitter.

Let's face it, we all know little idiots like this in one shape form or fashion and for the most part can stay far away from them, but I still enjoy watching him squirm in the public spotlight he's cultivated his entire miserable life.

Since he has a "D" behind his name he'll probably survive this current scandal to text another coed another day.

And thats the way it is...June 3rd, 2011...

BurrrrppppPPPP...

All I Can Currently Deliver Is Guttural Body Sounds...


It's freaking hotter than Hades over here in Eastern Tennessee this week.

Seriously...

If my brain could, it would slide down out of my head, past my heart and lungs, further down below my large and small intestines, and hang down there below my "manly parts" originally occupying the area between my legs somewhere south of my knees right now.

But it can't (and I apologize for the crass mental image I just delivered, but still...things are as things are...)

So ritght nwow mye synnbapses areee allle oaverloadeded dew to tempraature exhaustation and thrust I halfe 2 stop righting wright now...

Reguardssss Youallleee...

"Pork" (Government Inefficencies) Killed The USA Space Program

YOUR Wallet Is Next If You Don't Pay Attention...


So I'm sitting here this morning watching the Space Shuttle Endeavor's final landing down in Florida.

I tried my best to schedule to make it down for the launch of this mission with my old Buddy Tripp last month, but one thing lead to another and he went down for the launch and I sat here picking my nose and toes doing the stuff I normally do on a day in and day out basis.

Being not only a "Baby Boomer" Boy vintage 1959, but also being a by default "Space Race Child" and wanna-be astronaut about a thousand years ago, I can't help but get a little misty eyed over the ending of this next to last Space Shuttle Mission officially known as STS-134.

(mouse over and click to enlarge the infarred image...captured off of the NASA HDTV feed on my computer)

As I watched NASA TV tonight during the landing process their call of the landing in both Eastern Standard Time and Central Standard Time reminded me of the Whoreish Politicalization of President Kennedy's famous proclamation that we get to the moon before 1970.

You seen, when the idiot in the Book Repository blew our President's head off, the VP Johnson assumed the reins and the keys to the country's budget process and couldn't stand that the basically unrepresented state of Florida would get all of the money spent on the program because they wanted to kill sea turtles launching rockets out over the Atlantic Ocean since Werner Von Braun escaped from Germany after WWII.

So the young Texan/President Johnson used his political power to help spread the proceeds from America's "Space Race" into his home state's direction by putting "Mission Control" about a 1000 miles away over in Houston, Texas  instead of building another building at Cape Canaveral or Cape Kennedy on land already owned on the Florida coast...something you could barely GIVE away in the early 1960's.

And meanwhile over in my home state of Alabama, our Senate/Congressional team--Sparkman, Allen, and Dickenson--couldn't stand being left out and so they did the the same thing by setting up part of the Space Programs up in Huntsville, Alabama.

Problem is, as we've learned over the past near 50 years, there was a shit load of bureaucratic inefficiency and duplication and out right insurrection and competition between the factions created between 1961 and 1969, and partially as a DIRECT RESULT of this political pandering PORK BARREL bullshit we find ourselves as of July 2011 unable to launch a man into space within the boundaries of the By-God United States of 'Merica.

And that's just a F**king crying shame...in my considered Redneck Opinion.  

Is it just me?

When Life Gives You Lemons Jellyfish

Make Lemonade Peanut Butter & Jelly(fish) Sandwiches...


OhHHHH...where to start writing this evening???

OK...

I know...

I had a pretty productive day, when it was all said and done I guess.

I got all of the ceiling electrical wiring finished in the "Wee Pub" by about 2 PM, so now I have two separate dimmer light circuits--one over the bar area and another in the seating/dart area--which are all hooked up ready for the ceiling skin to be installed.

On the computer/computing front, the old HP laptop is still belching and farting a little but most of the problems are Internet search engine related..AutoCAD and my other technical programs all work fine.

It was blistering hot here today, with the backyard weather station indicating about 93 degrees F at 4 PM before we had a little pop-up rain shower that cooled things off a little.  The temperature was enough of an excuse to keep me from doing anything but peeking outside until it was time to run out at quitting time to do some errands and catch a couple of cocktails at happy hour.

Then left over Pizza and Grilled Boston Butt were served for dinner to clean out the Fridge.

I actually had time to do a little professional writing (don't get excited...it was a PLC Controller owners' manual) and now this evening I'm all mellow and calm and managed to wander around the Internet looking for silly stuff to write about.

To that end, my regular readers know I like to pick on a number of seasonal news stories that the Lamestream Media writers keep in their lockers or under their seat cushions (which can also be used for flotation devices) and that they trot out almost every year--on que--depending on the month and date on the calendar.

This year so far we've had "Record Winter Weather" (in spite of Owl Gore's Global Warming), then "Killer Tornadoes 'Targeting' Population Centers", and now that summer is upon us???

Get ready...

Not Hurricanes...

You Ready?

Not Shark Attacks...

Really Ready?

Not Skin Cancer from going to the beach and tanning booths...

Really, really, Really REALLY Ready?

OK, this year we we need to stay home or run back to our ocean front Condos because we already have Jellyfish Hordes Crash(ing) Florida Beach Parties.

I almost spit my wine onto the computer screen and peed my pants when I saw the headline. Here's a sample of what we all need to be "afeared of" this beach season:

Ah, summer: the lazy, hazy time when Americans adjourn to beaches in droves to soak up the sun--and this year, at least, to get stung by jellyfish.

More than 800 people at beaches along Florida's Atlantic coast were stung this weekend by the swarm of purple-colored sea creatures, which washed up on shore en masse, thanks to consistent east winds, according to Eisen Wicher, a Brevard County Ocean Rescue official.

CNN interviewed one local family, the Smiths, who said they'd driven for three quarters of an hour to get to Cocoa Beach, but left after five minutes when their daughter was stung.

The stings cause itching, burning, and rashes, similar to a bee sting, but aren't usually serious, unless the victim is allergic. Lifeguards have a vinegar solution on hand to neutralize the stinging cells.

Still, two people were taken to the hospital after suffering from respiratory problems, Witcher said.

Thousands more, understandably spooked by the jellyfish, stayed out of the water.

OoooooKaaaayyyyyyYYYYYY...

It's not just that they're citing the fact that when you go to the beach that you run the risk of encountering various forms of "sea life"...noooooOOOO...

this year it's "HOARDS" of Jellyfish "Crashing" Beach Parties.

That's right, Ladies and Gentlemen, if you read the headline, we are lead to believe that the Jellyfish are avoiding unpopulated and low density areas of the beach in favor of swarming the locals of "Beach Parties."

(I personally am waiting for a story about Africanized Killer Bees somehow cross breeding with Jellyfish, thereby creating giant organized swarms of intelligent pathological killer Jellyfish which attack in mass once someone inadvertently comes to their attention.)

No, seriously folks...this is such a non-story it makes me laugh at the lengths these so-called "professional" journalists will go to find something to write about.

You see, I've spent more than a few days/hours of my life participating in the sport of offshore fishing.  Primarily off of Florida's Panhandle Gulf Coast.

You think that you've seen Jellyfish laying around on the beach before?

I've gone fishing on half day trips where we stayed within a few miles of shore where the Jellyfish were so thick--and I mean Jellyfish eighteen inches to two feet in diameter--that we could troll for hours and all you saw was a sea of Jellyfish all around the boat.

The Jellyfish were so thick you had to pay attention because they would catch on the fishing line and make your fishing rod tip bounce around just like you had a strike by a 20 pound King Mackerel.

And these Jellyfish were SWIMMING with their tentacles and bodies...trying to fight the current to stay OFFSHORE since they live in the water...not dieing on the beach at a beach party.

I didn't hear any little Jellyfish conversations saying "Dude...let's paddle on in and catch a monster curl wave and then run out on the beach and pick up some human Babes...

...then we'll show them our pricks testicles tentacles"

cough...hiccup...eek...akkk..oh...nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOO


UPDATE: 2:00 AM

Sorry, but my Zen-Like state was interrupted by a stupid Comcast "Internet Service Outage" starting about midnight and just now ending at 2:00 AM.

I've since been twirling around in the basement because I couldn't access some other stuff in needed to do the Owner's Manual project.

I'm going to go now before I REALLY write something I'll regret.

Regards Y'all...

Windows XP Recovery Scam Feckless Under My Wrath

(Only) Three Hours Later...


Well Ladies and Gentlemen, the good news this morning is to my surprise only three hours after my earlier posting, things here on the old HP laptop aren't back to 100%...but close to 95%...

And I guess that the Jury is still out...

But...

In this latest "Computer Exorcism Exercise, I managed to make a couple of executive decisions (the quality and substance of which is something I'm not Internationally known for in the past), and instead of downloading some stupid free "anti-virus/spyware" software or electing to run screaming down to the local computer repair store populated with "experts" 30 years younger than my ever greying, ever balding head...

I simply booted the whimpering computer up in Windows "Protected Mode" and then used the real "Windows Recovery" program to reset everything back to the way it was last Friday before all of this current BS started.

Then I dumped Windows Internet Explorer 7 off the hard drive, ran a back up of my data files (including recovering my latest ParaChem PLC software Rusty), and right now things seem to have been improved a great deal although there are still some strange quirks that need to be worked out.

For instance, most of my data files had been converted to "hidden files" so I had to handle that situation, and my Internet Explorer favorites all disappeared but I had a good back up in Mozilla Firefox and I also exported the favorites from the Server PC and moved them down here to the Basement International Headquarters of Plastics Engineering Technologies (or BIHOPET for short.)

So any way, by and large a successful evening I guess.

I still want to go out and find the idiots responsible for crap like I've just gone through and either draw and quarter them or keel haul them after beating them to the verge of death with a "Cat 'o Nine Tails"

Is it just me?

OK...Holiday's OVER...Back To The Real World

Please Don't Throw Me In Dat Briar Patch...


This week could be fairly troublesome interesting. 

I thought that I already knew what to expect when the Memorial Day Holiday started last Friday, but as is usual around here things have changed a little bit due to unforeseen circumstances--computer related.

My poor little old HP Laptop managed to catch the latest Trojan Bullshit Computer Crap called Windows XP Recovery Scam .

It's the same old spam scam where something jumps on your computer off of an infected web site and proceeds to change things in your Windows registers so that all you see is a fake screen telling you that your computer hard drive is about to crash and offering to scan the drive and repair the problem.

Problem is...the Spam program is the PROBLEM.

And of course after it gets through scanning, even if it finds nothing it still tries to get you to give it a credit card number to pay for selling you a program to "FIX" the situation.

I never let it get past the first few seconds of it's presentation, but I made the mistake of turning the machine off with a hard stop press of the power button, and then in the process of rebooting the INFECTION just wrapped it's tentacles further around my operating system.

Now when you boot up in even "Secure Mode" it only lets you get so far before popping back up with the same BS warning of non-existent problems and an offer to fix things...FOR A PRICE.

So now instead of doing productive work on some new software modifications for a PLC and working on basement wiring, I expect to spend the next 24 hours screwing around trying to act as "Computer Exorcist" removing this evil spirit.

Like I said before, I think that the government should pass a law making it legal to hunt down and maim and/or KILL the idiots out there in the Cyber World that think it's funny or profitable to break into my house through wires and damage my property.

I have to go now before my head explodes.

Missy The Turbo Pup Rides Floats Again

You Can Take The Dog From The Beach...But You Can't Take The Beach From The Dog...


My regular readers probably remember that our little miniature long Haired Dachshund "Missy Sippy Queen" (her AKC pedigree registered name) A.K.A. "Missy The Turbo Pup" was born in Southern Mississippi and spent most of the first year and one half of her life living with us on an Island on the Georgia Coast.

As a result, let's just say we have a little girl that is very comfortable at the pool and on the patio at the Sea Palms Country Club restaurant and of course she commands the beach with ease given the opportunity to visit.

Unfortunately she only gets to the beach two or three times a year now since we moved to Knoxtown, but she's had an above ground backyard pool each of the past three seasons large enough to accommodate her pool accessories and two or three invited adult guests on occasion.

This season being no exception to the rules, this morning I found it my duty to get an early start working on the tasks required in the official re-opening the Turbo Pup Back Yard Pool And Beach Complex (or TPBY PABC for short) for the 2011 season.

Of course not one BUT TWO trips to Home Depot were in order because in addition to needing a few extra fifty pound bags of play sand to level the pool area and clean up the winter damage to the Beach area, after we got home from the first trip I ended up not being able to find my "air nozzle" to use with my air compressor to blow up the inflatable ring running around the top of the little 30" deep above ground pool we saved from last season...so I had to climb back in the car sweating and filthy and go BACK to HD.

Once we got the pool cleaned up and back into position beside the Boardwalk, when we started filling it up with water and it's shape started rounding out and rising back up off the ground, Missy suddenly realized what all of the hoopla was about and went over and started crying and barking wanting to get in the 4 inches of water standing there.

We humored her and let her wade around for a while while it continued to fill, and then about three hours later when it was nearly full she again climbed in and floated around on her float on and off for a couple of hours while I started cooking her favorite dinner...PIZZA!

After dinner now she's been reclining on our bed dozing and watching Dale Earnhardt Jr. run  out of gas 1000 feet from the finish line in the Charlotte NASCAR race.

Tomorrow I have to finish up some details and get my Monster Hybrid Pool Filter (or MOHY POFIS for short) cleaned up and re-connected to the connections on the Pool Sidewalls.  Last season its new 1/2 HP centrifugal pump and dual canisters made out of two old crappy filters they sell with these little above ground pools did a good job and I hope to get at least another season out of the beast.

That said, I guess it's time to do a little reading and get my check list ready for the daily visit back to Home Depot tomorrrow.

Y'all have a LOVELY balance of the Memorial Day Holiday...If you will...