Saturday, September 30, 2006

Beach Wildlife

Look What We Saw...

First there was this guy that washed up on the sand...

Then the next day we found this little critter...

We were so encouraged, we went here

...looking for dinosaurs and something that looks like this (my left hand covered in my Nephew's "body crayons" to look like an elephant...or possibly my hand after working on my transmission?)

All and all I'd say that we had a good beach trip...

I hope that your week was at least half as excellent

Friday, September 29, 2006

I'm Baaaaaackkkkkkk

Car Stopped...Body Still Vibrating

Having survived seven hours of driving and about 330 miles of interstate insanity, we were back on our little island in time for happy hour and dinner this afternoon.

I'm still sorting mail and restocking my traveling cooking supplies back into their proper place in the kitchen pantry.

I feel a nap coming on, possibly followed by a nice evening rant later on.

Stay tuned to this channel for futher developments...


Oops, I almost forgot to post this new picture of this biker dude that we hung out with all week:

Pretty rough character, huh?

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Another Day In Paradise

Coming To You Live From The Holiday Inn Lobby

I have to admit that I'm feeling fat, lazy, and useless.

All in all a great vacation success, I'd say.

Sandy, one of my cohorts that works with me on the website e-mailed me and asked "why would you leave St. Simons Island to go on vacation to Panama City?"

The answer is...


I've been coming here every year for most of the past 47 years, and I swear to God that even on a bad day that the 100 yards of sugar white powder sand between our condo and the Gulf of Mexico beats the heck out of 99% of the other beaches anywhere else in the world--Redneck Riveria versus snobby South Beach Miami aside.

After the cold front blew through Sunday night the Gulf waters laid down flat and the air temperatures dropped down into the low 60's at night and low 80's during the day and frankly, you couldn't ask for a better place to sit around and do nothing all day.

We fed and entertained three of our neighbors last night with a Low Country Boil consisting of Shrimp, New Potatoes, Corn on the Cob, and my soon-to-be-famous Key Lime Pie for desert. Dang it, but I forgot to put in the Cajun Saussage, but no one noticed until the last minute.

Pat and I had leftover shrimp with the saussage for dinner tonight with some Red Beans & Rice.

Since I've adopted a somewhat normal sleep schedule, I guess that it's time to head back next door and crank on FOX News and listen to President Bubba Clinton bitch about ABC's treatment of his lack of a hysterical historical record against fighting terrorism.

Y'all take care...

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

One Sea Turtle...One Dolphin

...and A Shit-Load of Little Bitches And Bastards (Photos To Follow Shortly)

I'm sorry People, but I swear to God, I'm starting to believe that most kids these days deserve to be killed the exact instant that they exit their mother's crotches.

You see, I did what I consider to be, by my standards, a crappy sea turtle sculpture yesterday, and I went back by at sunset to spruce things up, and at sunrise this morning I found that it had survived the evening's minor tide and wave action.

I was excited...I thought "multiple sculptures would ensue."

Nope, not by 1:00 PM

Enter the Redneck asshole "Bob" (I'm making the name up) with his University of Alabama ballcap and his lovely stretchmarked silly bitch wife "Wanda" (again, a pseudonym).

"Bob" and "Wanda" have chirren, "Little Bob", and "Little Wanda" and further, "Little Bob" treats "Little Wanda" just like "Big Bob" acts out with "Big Wanda".

I saw him with his hands around his sister's neck.

Do you understand what I'm saying here?

My problem is that "Big Bob" and "Big Wanda" allow "Little Bob" and "Little Wanda" to slash up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and DOWN AND UP and DOWN the beach and guess what?

"Big Bob" and "Big Wanda" don't care who or what get in the way of the way of their little deamon spawn lovely darlin's.

The kids couldn't have been a day over 5 years old.

Mr. Sea Turtle was trash by 2 PM.

But that's OK, I still carved Mr. Dolphin, and "Big Bob" and "Big Wanda" got to overhear one of my resort visitor fans tell me that the little undisciplined shitheads "Big Bob's" and "Big Wanda's" lovely chirren' had caused all of yesterday morning's damage.

I don't care if they're cute.

I don't care if they're young.

If you sit there on your stupid yuppy lard asses and let them trash things in public...


IF that's what it takes to restore some sense of civilty to our lives...SO BE IT

That will be all for now...

Monday, September 25, 2006

Thunder Beach

We Survived...


I was appalled to find that when we arrived Saturday afternoon that the earthquake epicenter event headquarters for the "Thunder Beach" motorcycle extravaganza was located across from my Mom's condo.

I was afraid that I was going to have to spend the entire week with about 5,000 bikers "motorcycle entheusists", but after roaring and reving around for two days, most had gone back to whereever they came from by last night.

Thank GOD.

I've snuck over next door to the Holiday Inn Sunspree Resort and wandered into the lobby, grabbed myself a cup of free coffee, and now I'm sitting here in front of their internet terminal acting like I own the place.

I think that I just might make it this week after all.

See Y'all later...