Damn, Sometimes I Just Hate Myself

Ending The Year On A Politically Incorrect Note...


What is wrong with the world when a beautiful young girl that looks like this:





















would date an unemployed shit head that looks like this:





INDEPENDENCE, Mo. -- A Missouri woman is out of a hospital and recovering at home after a cell phone was shoved down her throat last week.

Melinda "Mindy" Abell was rushed to a hospital Friday morning. She told police that her ex-boyfriend, Marlon Brando Gill, 23, became angry.

Abell told detectives that Gill grabbed her by the mouth and shoved the cell phone until it became lodged in her throat. Surgeons had to remove it.

Gill is charged with first-degree assault, which is a felony.

Police initially issued a statement saying Abell had swallowed the phone. A spokesman later explained that investigators weren't able to talk to her until after the surgery.

Abell's father, Don, said he hopes Gill will be able to find God.

"Everybody takes steps in the wrong direction. Everybody has the opportunity to take steps in the right direction," Don Abell said.

I'm sorry people, but our politically correct, color blind society is a place that I'm glad I don't have to live much longer in.

Another thirty or so years is about all I can stand, and since I don't have any kids I guess that I will be able to stumble through the process and remain reasonably unscathed.

And by the way, if "Mindy" was MY daughter, I would kick her ass for even attempting to socialize with someone that looked like that useless punk, and I would ensure that he found God because I would personally introduce him to his savior with a 9 MM round or two placed where they could do the most good--

in his stupid skull.

My Last Nerve

The Artist Idiot Formerly Known As Prince Garnett…


Who the heck are these morons that run around supporting PETA?

You know, P-E-T-A…the panty waisted vegetarian or vegan fools over at the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

Who ARE these idiots, and why don’t they go home and watch Oprah or go to bed and suck their thumbs or big toes or something and shut the hell up?

Didn’t these fools ever read the book of Genesis in the Bible--particularly the part about man having “domain” over all of the beasts of the Earth seems to come to mind here?

I, personally, love to eat BEEF. I will even eat steak Tartar, properly prepared—RAW.

I eat raw Oysters.

I eat Sushi.

I eat Chicken.

I eat Pork.

I will eat (gasp) Veal.

I eat Goat.

I eat Lamb.

I eat Alligator.

I eat Squirrel.

I eat Rattlesnake.

I eat Emu.

I eat Ostrich.

I eat Bear.

I eat Bison.

Heck, I might eat YOU if you would take a bath first and then marinade yourself in some good balsamic vinegar and possibly some olive oil.

Well…maybe not.

Any way, look at this story about some rocket scientist who changed his name to KentuckyFriedCruelty.com.

NEW YORK -- A 19-year-old PETA staffer has legally changed his name to KentuckyFriedCruelty.com.

Chris Garnett, youth outreach coordinator for the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, said he changed his name in support of the group's anti-KFC campaign.

"People don't believe me at first when I tell them my name, but it never fails to spark a discussion," Garnett, er, KentuckyFriedCruelty.com, said in a statement. "Many vow to boycott KFC after I explain the company's indifference to cruelty to animals."

Let’s take up a collection and send the former Mr. Garnett a couple thousand quarters so that he can call someone that actually gives a damn.

I swear that my head is going to explode over crap like this…

2006

Decisions...Decisions...

Just in case you haven’t noticed, I’ve had a little trouble coming up with anything to say the past couple of days.

That’s OK, however, because when you write for free. and you own the newspaper, you can produce as many or as few words as you want at any given time without fear of repercussions.

With the beginning of the year 2006, I find myself facing several opportunities (and a few realities) that I haven’t addressed at any time in my past.

My health has gone from an atrocity to a miracle in a matter of months, but I really don’t know that I can rely on continuing at my present physical pace for any length of time.

I’ll certainly enjoy my strength while I have it, however.

In the theater department, I’m starting construction on the set for a dinner theater production of “You’re a Good Man, Charley Brown” next week, having spent some of my time this week discussing the casts’ requirements and doing the drawings and bill of material for the project.

I’m also reading a script and attempting to develop a character I want to do in a play called “A Bad Year For Tomatoes” at the CAPE Theater over in Brunswick this winter.

My characterization is loosely based on a cross between Billy Bob Thornton’s “Slingblade” character and Ernest T Bass on the TV show Andy Griffith, with a little of Mr. Haney from Green Acres thrown in for good measure.

I haven’t tried acting in two years, but this part is definitely ME and I really want to give it a good go if they will let me.

In the writing department, I am resolute to get off my ass and continue to develop my cookbook and my Sci-fi novel projects. The cookbook is past the 50% point, but the novel is still in the outline stage with only a piece of the first chapter and the concept development completed. No one has published a book using my idea yet, so I really want to produce a thick stack of paper in 2006 that a publisher can use to slap me on top of the head with, if nothing else comes of it.

Regarding my Blogging, I am going to use 2006 to get serious in my news analysis and reporting with the rollout of regular stories in my local blog called the Brunswick Blues. Having established a relationship with the mayor–elect on a first name basis and corresponding with my county commissioners, I think that Glynn County is ready for a serious blogger to start pushing around the facts and details that The Brunswick News and even The Islander can’t seem to follow.

ORGANIZATION and MOTIVATION…that’s what I need.

I can see the goal posts, I just have to figure out how to get the ball across the line…

Bob

We're keeping a friend's Siamese Fighting Fish for a while over the holidays in their absence.

In the process of the brief introduction and the hustle of getting her off on the airplane, we forgot his name, so we call him Bob.

Here is my new buddy, Ba ba baaa, ba ba baa ba Bob.









He comes up to the surface of his bowl and looks at me like I'm crazy when I sing to him.

He might be right...

Nerd Alert

Bring your camera...

I've mentioned this a couple of times before, but I thought that I would bring it up again--hoping that the weather holds out so we can all see it.

Last winter I was wandering around on the waterfront waiting for something, I don't recall what, to happen down at the old Casino Theater, when right there in the evening twilight I saw a brilliant slice of the Moon setting right behind the sun.

The scene was amazing, butI had left my camera at home so I missed the photo opportunity.

Since that time I have found this web site that provides sunrise and sunset data for any location and any day of the year.

After several false starts, I think that the next two days here on the Georgia coast will provide a similar photo opportunity, or an opportunity to just sit on a bench and watch a nice sunset and moonset coincide.

The best time will be New Years eve when the moon sets a little over a half hour after the sun.

Meet me on Kings Way about 5:15 PM, if you will.

I'll bring the Brie and Wine...

Those Who Fail To Learn From History

Are Forced to Re-Live It…


As I recall, it was President Jimmy Carter that oversaw the second “energy crisis” during his presidency in the late 1970’s.

I was just an idiot kid back then, driving my second car, a Chevy Camaro, and worrying about gas prices jumping from 60 cents a gallon to 93 cents a gallon.

We were all told that we had to do our civic duty by conserving energy…buying crappy cheep shit cars like Datsuns and Toyotas and turning our home thermostats up to 78 in the Summer and down to 68 in the winter.

Then Jimmy produced the famous national speed limit laws requiring states reduce the speed limits on their highways to 55 and 65 MPH in order to be eligible to receive federal funding.

Oh Boy…

Police departments, county and state coffers bulged at the seams with the revenue originating from the speeding tickets that resulted, but meanwhile oil prices and availability settled down and in 1995 the Fed’s decided to get out of the speed limit business…

So good, so far…

Unfortunately, today we seem to be having a bad case of relapse:

Washington, DC--- On December 8, 1995, the repeal of the National Maximum Speed Limit (NMSL) went into effect. The repeal ended the federal requirement that states keep speed limits at a maximum of 65 miles per hour (mph) in rural areas and 55 mph in urban areas. A recent survey of Governors Highway Safety Association (GHSA) members indicated that 40 GHSA jurisdictions had increased their speed limits since the repeal. Of particular concern is information from the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS) indicating 31 states have increased their speed limits to 70 mph or higher on some portion of their roadways.

While national statistics indicate fatalities have remained level since the NMSL repeal, this is hardly cause for celebration. According to GHSA Chair Lt. Colonel Jim Champagne, "The nation should have experienced a significant decline in total fatalities and injuries given the tremendous increase in safety belt use coupled with the increasingly safe design of vehicles. However, it appears these benefits have been offset both by increasing speed limits and the public exceeding these increased posted limits." He says, "Drunk driving, failure to wear safety belts and speeding-these are the big three killers on our roadways. These three issues deserve priority of attention if we are going to make significant progress in reducing deaths."

I used to drive around with a radar detector in both of my cars.

I was an idiot.

I used to operate my vehicle like I was a fighter pilot in a combat zone.

I was an idiot.

Today I own a ten year old Chevy Suburban with a 454 cubic inch engine that gets 10 MPG.

I might just die driving that Subruban because I love it, and I bought it out of necessity in 1995 to support my construction business rather than as a fashion choice to drive to the mall and to church.

My selection of a vehicle and gas mileage is my choice as an individual citizen, but my behavior on the public roads and highways is a matter of law. If it cost me $2 to go 2 miles, so be it, but I would appreciate a little help in other areas of motor vehicle operation.

Today I see people routinely run roughshod over basic driving laws like using turn signals, running stop signs/signals, and generally ignoring the “rules of the road,” but all the Governors’ Highway Safety Association (GHSA) can worry about is lowering the speed limits to those of the Carter legacy.

Where is the GHSA's stand on stupid, arrogant, discourteous drivers?

Instead of limiting my driving rights, what about going out and kicking the stupid asses of the stupid assed idiots I see driving around me?

Personally, I want to replace my headlights with 50 caliber machine guns, and possibly a grenade launcher.

That aught to solve the problem with discourteous drivers, at least locally…

Germans Increasing In Value

Want to Buy Your Own Frau or Heir?


Now that the Germans have established their willingness to negotiate with terrorists, it isn’t surprising that the value of German citizens has greatly increased on the world market of terrorism in the past few weeks.

BERLIN, Dec. 28 -- A former German ambassador to Washington and four members of his family were reported missing and apparently kidnapped Wednesday while vacationing in a remote part of Yemen. It was the latest in a string of tourist abductions in the Arabian desert.

Juergen Chrobog, ambassador from 1995 to 2001, his wife and three adult sons were declared missing by the German Foreign Ministry. In Yemen, government officials said the family had been taken hostage by tribesmen who regularly seize Western tourists as bargaining chips in dealings with the government, according to news service reports from Sanaa, the capital.

(snip…)

The German Foreign Ministry had posted a travel advisory for Yemen, warning visitors that they could be abducted by ransom-seeking tribesmen and noting a general risk of terrorist attacks against Western interests in the country.

Yemeni officials said Chrobog and his family arrived in the country on Saturday at the invitation of the former Yemeni ambassador to Germany. Chrobog and his Egyptian-born wife, Magda, have an avid interest in archaeology.

The Reuters news agency reported from Yemen that the group was seized during a trip to the eastern province of Shabwah from the port city of Aden. "They are safe," one of the kidnappers, from the Abdullah tribe, told Reuters by telephone. "But if force is used to free them, the hostages' lives will be put in danger."

He said he hoped the kidnapping would put pressure on the government of Yemen to free five of his fellow tribesmen who are in jail on criminal charges, including murder.

So there you have it folks—look at the value of being a wealthy, civilized member of a society of terrorist appeasing Surrender Monkeys.

I don’t care if your county does build excellent cars with lovely black paint jobs, when your government craps in the world’s punchbowl and develops an economy that relies on selling technology to criminals and terrorists, you and your tattooed eighteen year old daughter with the bellybutton ring are worth SQUAT when you sashay out onto the world stage on “holiday.”

Hah...

I'm Not Stupid

Are You?


I stopped my subscription to the local newspaper last year by accident, but I haven't managed to find a good enough reason to go to the trouble to restart it since.

Instead I rely on reading the free online edition of The Brunswick News and I buy an occasional "dead tree" copy when the notion strikes me.

Likewise with the Atlanta Journal and Constitution (locals lovingly call it the “Urinal and Constipation.”) Pat hates it when I buy a copy because I usually spend the next three days sweating, shivering, and screaming about things written on the editorial page and about local news stories showing the stupidity of the Atlanta area politicians.

What I want to know is this: “is there some kind of competition among stupid people for positions as elementary school teachers and "lamestream" media jobs like TV correspondents and newspaper reporters?”

This isn’t just a rhetorical question—I WANT AN ANSWER.

Don’t you see what I mean here?

It seems like our culture and society has an invisible line running through the middle of it that divides our citizens into two classes. TOTAL DUMBASS IDIOTS and ROCKET SCIENTISTS.

There is little ground to occupy in between, and almost ALL of the people that elect to choose jobs in media and MOST of those of those in education fall in the former class due to pay issues or gravity or Newtonian physics or possibly some other as yet to be determined mystical reason.

As the latest example of MEDIA STUPIDITY, I submit to you this false story published in Tuesday’s LA Times:

GREEN RIVER, Wyo. - A quote in a fake news release that was intended as an April Fool's joke ended up in a front-page story in the Los Angeles Times. The story in Tuesday's editions of the Times noted how successful the reintroduction of wolves had been 10 years ago, but said the predators remained controversial.

"In Wyoming, for example, Gov. Dave Freudenthal last April decreed that the Endangered Species Act is no longer in force and that the state 'now considers the wolf as a federal dog,' unworthy of protection," the story read.

The Times printed a retraction and correction in their Wednesday edition.

It is UNBELIEVEABLE that the LA Times could allow something like this to make it to their front page, but they did.

As I said before, they’re either stupid, or they are incompetent IDIOTS.

Next time that you’re sitting around watching TV or reading the newspaper, would you please remember that this kind of crap can happen—and that it does with apparently much greater frequency that most people realize?

Now where did I put my really big hammer...

German Surrender Monkeys Get Their Due

I’m laughing My Ass Off…


I’ve traveled to Alaska, Japan, Guam, and the Philippines when I was in the Navy. I’ve been all over most of the United States and Caribbean in my personal travels as a child and adult. Even with the current terrorism risks for American Rednecks like me, I would still consider going to Australia and places in Central America like Costa Rica and Belize.

One place I’ve never been and probably will never go, however, is EUROPE.

Don’t get me wrong here, I would love to go to Portugal, Italy, and Greece, possibly ending up in Turkey, but as for the tourist traps of London and Paris I’ll settle for watching the Discover channel and my videotape of the movie Casablanca.

Perhaps the saddest thing about my self imposed travel embargo is that I will probably never get to go drink some Spatlese and “Icewine” in Germany, but I am willing to suffer this indignation alone quietly because the Surrender Monkeys that they call the German Government make me sick with their policies and I therefore refuse to spend my travel dollars in their miserable little piece of this planet.

Just in case you weren’t paying attention, last week the Germans released Hizbolla terrorist member Mohammed Al Hammadi who had served 15 years of a life sentence for killing Navy diver Robert Stethem while hijacking a TWA flight in 1985. I remember this story when it happened, and Al Hammadi killed Stethem just because he was in the US Military.

Why, you might ask, did the Germans let this killing Islamic bastard go?

The answer is obvious.

They released him as part payment of a ransom to gain the release of kidnapped female German Archaeologist Susan Osthoff who was taken hostage in late November.

Of course the Germans deny any connection to these events, but now the German Surrender Monkeys get their due because Miss Osthoff has announced that she will not return to Germany, choosing instead to remain in Iraq with her Arab husband to continue her efforts to set up a German cultural center.

The German Government angrily rebuked a former hostage yesterday who is determined to return to Iraq despite being held captive for three weeks by a Sunni gang.

Susanne Osthoff, a 43-year-old archaeologist, announced this week on al-Jazeera television that she would go back to her work in northern Iraq, trying to set up a German cultural centre in Arbil.

Angela Merkel’s new Government, which regards the freeing of Frau Osthoff this month as its first foreign policy triumph, is furious. It made huge efforts to secure her release and is widely believed to have paid a ransom.

It has now blocked all funding for her project and has told her that she should leave the region immediately. She is believed currently to be in Jordan, with her 12-year-old daughter, preparing to return.

“I would have little sympathy if Frau Osthoff puts herself again in danger considering the intensive efforts made by many people to secure her release,” said Frank-Walter Steinmeier, the German Foreign Minister, who headed a team that negotiated her release.

You are so right, Heir Steinmeier, and I say that they should let the stupid bitch take her chances…ALONE next time.

And by the way, I wonder what the heck one does at a “German Cultural Center” in an Islamic country?

Drinking German beer is obviously out of the question.

And wouldn’t eating a load of Knockwurst and Schnitzel made with PORK probably break a few dozen Islamic laws and cause an uproar?

When are the Spanish, French, and Germans going to learn that you can’t negotiate with TERRORISTS?

Never?

Well, as long as there are people like Frau Osthoff around, I don’t have to worry about teaching Surrender Monkeys the world over a good lesson.

I say that the Germans deserved the humiliation that they received here.

What do YOU think?

I Made It

Who Knew?


I’ve been an amateur photographer for nearly 40 years now.

Until the past few years there has been a heavy emphasis on the word “amateur,” since the subjects of my photos were mainly of family events, travel scenery, and hobbies.

Back in 2001 when I moved to Mexico Beach, Florida I bought my first digital camera and started shooting beach scenes and sunset photos. Boy was ever I surprised when people started asking to purchase copies of some of my work. I never managed to get organized enough to actually make any money with the exercise, but I did get a bit of encouragement that I had some talent for photo composition.

Even more recently Pat gave me a Cannon G-3 Digital camera—something that at the time was WAY above my head and technical skills, but I’ve kept working at it and last week I received some news that made me very excited.

This photo has been selected to be displayed in the “Coastal Georgia Heritage Exhibition” running February and March in a local gallery.

All of the works are supposed to be "theme" based, but I don't want to waste your time trying to explain my theme here at this time--just be assured that it is historical and that this photoshopped composite image has a lot of history represented in it.

It’s a juried, mixed media exhibit, which means that they have already reviewed the entries and selected the winner from among the thirteen artists represented. I've also heard that only about 25% of the entries are selected for exhibition in past years.

I don’t expect to win a prize, I’m just glad to have the chance to show my work to the public and have the opportunity to possibly sell a few prints.

Lock Your Doors

Better Yet, Take Them With You When You Go…


I’ve personally seen some strange stuff in my day regarding theft and vandalism. Still, like most people that have always lived outside the “inner cities” of America, I continue to have a general expectation of security and safety when it comes to my person and my property.

I also realize that our law enforcement system, while having admirable intentions, is totally &%@$* useless when it comes to preventing most crimes. Unless someone is dead or dieing, it’s difficult to get them to even show up long enough to fill out a report so that you can make an insurance claim.

If someone bothers to steal your kitchen sink out of your duplex (it happened to me) or breaks out your truck windows and steals your “stuff” (twice so far) you have to go to the police station to get a report filed—forget getting them to dust for fingerprints or collect any evidence that might actually allow them to catch the responsible parties.

That’s one of the reasons that we love living here on St. Simons Island—virtually no crime. I don’t believe that there has been a murder here on the Island in the past ten years. I just checked the Georgia Bureau of Investigation data for 2004 and there were only 4 murders in all of Glynn County in that year—an area that includes the “New Town” area of Brunswick that more resembles Haiti than rural Georgia.

Fortunately, our biggest problem here on St. Simons generally consists of arrogant assholes disobeying driving laws while cruising around in cars that cost more than my first house did, and idiot kids running around tossing eggs at cars rather than cooking them for breakfast.

That said, one has to wonder what the law enforcement situation is in NY when you return to your parked car and find one or more of the doors missing:

“A bizarre New York crime wave that leaves car owners doorless has investigators clueless.

The "Whole of the Door Gang" is swooping down on Toyotas across Queens, stunning car owners who find their vehicles with huge gaps where the back doors used to be.

Cops have investigated at least six cases of stolen doors in the last three months in the 109th Precinct, which mostly covers Flushing.

The expensive doors, which can cost up to $5,000 to replace, are nearly impossible to find at salvage yards, creating what some fear may be an emerging black market.”

And here I was, sitting around, worrying about my radio and tires being stolen.

Silly me…

On The Road Again

We're back in the car this morning heading east, away from reality—back to our little island. It’s been good to return to my family's farm for the holidays, but I must admit that I also miss my current nest in our condo on St. Simons.

Since I personally haven’t reproduced, I got to do something this Christmas I’d never done before. I got to see a four year old (my nephew) open Christmas gifts and wait for Santa Clause to come.

He was totally INTO the concept. He could recite all of the details (reindeer names, etc.) by memory.

He got up at 4 AM on Sunday.

Fun, Fun, Fun.

I didn't know that they made so many things that required batteries. The C cell batteries require AAA batteries just to get started. I think that everyone should buy stock in battery companies every November.

I also took two days off from writing. Looking at my site meter, I would appear that everyone took a few days off from reading, so I wasn't missed.

I’m almost in withdrawal now, so I’ll probably explode tonight after we get home with a few dozen pages of ranting and raving.

Stay tuned to this channel…