Friday, April 01, 2005

Plea BARGAN

A year in prison (not jail) and a $100,000 fine. That is what former Clinton national security adviser Sandy Berger could have gotten for each of his admitted crimes.

The details of the plea bargain (heavy, heavy, emphasis on BARGAN) were printed this morning:

"Samuel R. "Sandy" Berger, a former White House national security adviser, plans to plead guilty to a misdemeanor, and will acknowledge intentionally removing and destroying copies of a classified document about the Clinton administration's record on terrorism.

Berger's plea agreement, which was described yesterday by his advisers and was confirmed by Justice Department officials, will have one of former president Bill Clinton's most influential advisers and one of the Democratic Party's leading foreign policy advisers in a federal court this afternoon.

The deal's terms make clear that Berger spoke falsely last summer in public claims that in 2003 he twice inadvertently walked off with copies of a classified document during visits to the National Archives, and then later lost them.

He described the episode last summer as "an honest mistake." Yesterday, a Berger associate who declined to be identified by name but was speaking with Berger's permission said: "He recognizes what he did was wrong. . . . It was not inadvertent." "

So are you following me here?

Right in the middle of the so called “independent” 9/11 commission’s investigation, right in the middle of Richard Clark’s book publication impugning President Bush’s efforts and Condoleezza Rice’s knowledge of Al Quada, Berger and his magic pants and socks were removing unique, original copies of documents from the Clinton administration records:

"The terms of Berger's agreement required him to acknowledge to the Justice Department the circumstances of the episode. Rather than misplacing or unintentionally throwing away three of the five copies he took from the archives, as the former national security adviser earlier maintained, he shredded them with a pair of scissors late one evening at the downtown offices of his international consulting business.

The document, written by former National Security Council terrorism expert Richard A. Clarke, was an "after-action review" prepared in early 2000 detailing the administration's actions to thwart terrorist attacks during the millennium celebration. It contained considerable discussion about the administration's awareness of the rising threat of attacks on U.S. soil. "


Who knows what Berger actually got away with destroying, but being the career security employee that he was, he definitely knew of the illegality of tampering with secure documents and the potential consequences of his actions, but this 59 year old man was willing to risk his reputation and career to do what he did to protect SOMEONE.

I wonder who that SOMEONE was?

Berger took five copies, of which he destroyed three.

Five times ten is 50 years. Five times $100,000 is $500,000.

Three times ten is 30 years, three times $100,000 is $300,000.

But Berger got 0 years and $10,000 on a misdemeaner, not a Felony, plus a three year suspension of his security clearance.

What I want to know is, how in the hell can we ever trust this man with a security clearance again?

This man was the Kerry campaign's national security consultant. He was in line to serve in the Kerry cabinet if the media had managed to get his sorry ass elected.

Like I said before, what a nice Plea BARGAN.

Another Government Cover-Up

Well, it’s official. Another Clinton administration official gets off with a slap on the wrist and the rest of us regular peon citizens continue to cower in the shadow of the US justice department.

“Former national security adviser Sandy Berger will plead guilty to taking classified material from the National Archives, a misdemeanor, the Justice Department said Thursday.

Berger is expected to appear in federal court in Washington on Friday, said Justice spokesman Bryan Sierra.

The former Clinton administration official previously acknowledged he removed from the National Archives copies of documents about the government's anti-terror efforts and notes that he took on those documents. He said he was reviewing the materials to help determine which Clinton administration documents to provide to the independent commission investigating the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks.

He called the episode "an honest mistake," and denied criminal wrongdoing.”

This, of course, is complete bull based on what I read last summer. Do you go to the library and put copies of historic documents into your socks, underwear, coat pockets, and briefcase by accident, then walk out and take them home and cut them up with scissors while trimming your mustache?

I usually don’t have that problem.

Let’s review what Mr. Berger and his magic socks and pants were observed doing in a secure area of the National Archives, as reported by FOX News last summer:

"Berger testified publicly at one of the commission's hearings about the Clinton administration's approach to fighting terrorism.

Berger had ordered his counterterrorism adviser, Richard Clarke, in early 2000 to write the after-action report and has publicly spoken about how the review brought to the forefront the realization that Al Qaeda had reached America's shores and required more attention.

The missing documents involve two or three draft versions of the report as it was being refined by the Clinton administration. The Archives is believed to have copies of some of the missing documents.

In the FBI search of his office, Berger also was found in possession of a small number of classified note cards containing his handwritten notes from the Middle East peace talks during the 1990s, but those are not a focal point of the current criminal probe, according to officials and lawyers.

Breuer said the Archives staff first raised concerns with Berger during an Oct. 2 review of documents that at least one copy of the post-millennium report he had reviewed earlier was missing. Berger was given a second copy that day, Breuer said.

Officials said Archive staff specially marked the documents and when the new copy and others disappeared, Archive officials called Clinton attorney Bruce Lindsey.

Berger immediately returned all the notes he had taken, and conducted a search and located two copies of the classified documents on a messy desk in his office, Breuer said. An Archives official came to Berger's home to collect those documents but Berger couldn't locate the other missing copies, the lawyer said.

Breuer said Berger was allowed to take handwritten notes but also knew that taking his own notes out of the secure reading room was a "technical violation of Archive procedures, but it is not all clear to us this represents a violation of the law."

Justice officials have informed the Sept. 11 commission of the Berger incident and the nature of the documents in case commissioners had any concerns, officials said. The commission is expected to release its final report on Thursday."

I can’t find all of the news articles archived, but I remember reading that the National Archives staff became very suspicious when Berger repeatedly excused himself to make bathroom visits and acted suspiciously while reviewing the documents.

Now here is the kicker...

After jacking around with this for over a year, the government morons let Mr. Berger off easy.

Although the crime carries up to a year jail sentence and a $100,000 fine, they let him off with no jail time, a $10,000 fine, and a three year suspension of his security clearance.

What a total load of crap…

Thursday, March 31, 2005

The IRS Can Just Kiss It

It's that time of year again---you know---TAX TIME.

I wrestling with the forms for Pat and I and trying to do my civic duty to pony up "my fair share" of the fruits of our blood, sweat, and tears to give to the Imperial Federal Government and the State of Georgia.

I can't even say here in my own blog how much I hate the government tax system nor recount to you how much money I have spent through the years on accountants trying to keep myself and my businesses out of trouble with the IRS. Even with my best efforts and the accountants, I still have paid penalties and interest on past due taxes for honest mistakes.

The IRS loves looking at that seven year window of income and returns for errors and shenanigans that might yield extra cash for their coffers. If they catch you with "criminal intent," they can look back even further for additional taxes.

Here is a little gem that I just found out about. An acquantence told me that they hadn't filed a tax return in over five years. After looking into their tax situation, I found that they had OVER EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS worth of returns coming.

You know what the IRS does when you don't file a return and they owe you money?

The bastards keep anything that isn't refunded within three years from the date the return was due, that's what. It's going to cost my acquantence over $4000.00.

You get what I'm saying here? If they had owed money the past six years to the IRS, the government would add interest and penalties easily doubling the amount and come roaring after their car and house and future wages, but since the government owes them money they just assess a 100% penalty and offer a great big old...

SCREW YOU MR. TAXPAYING CITIZEN

As my title said, THE IRS CAN JUST KISS IT

My Spammer has Bitten

As you may remember, a couple of days ago I responded to one of the many financial spams that is going around the internet.

I assumed the idenity of Vaginanal Rogers, a thirty two year old single mother of seven who has many problems in life, the least of which are financial.

Her Australian/Dutch friend now seems to be working in South Africa rather than Holland. She (Vaginanal) and I (Virgil) are a bit confused.

Watch as I respond to Mr. Wilson Dube with major computer illiteracy problems as well as dealing with the delima of not having a bank account into which he can deposit my lottery winnings (or steal my life savings.)

MR WILSON DUBE
AUSTRALIAN LOTTERY ORGANISATION
Mutual park
Jan Smuts Drive
Pinelands, Gauteng.7405 .
Phone: + 27 73-179- 0425.
Fax: 27 -11 -507 - 5811
Email:wilsondube_1234@yahoo.com
Website: www.ablottery.com

Attn: Winners,

Ref: 474061725/04,
Batch: 7056490902/188,
Winning No: GB8701/LPRC

We wish to bring to you notice that, the Zonal Board here in South Africa has gotten some information from the Head Office in Australia today and "a form" has been attached in this email for "verification".

Could you please note the following points below:
See the attached application in your email.

With your references identified, download the Application form in Word and fill out the form completely.

Please provide all information on the application as required.

Read all instructions carefully before you fill out the application.

Fill in all the details of your winning & Make sure all information is correct.
Be sure your application matches your resume.

Re-send the form through your email and by fax.

Please note that, this "application form" have to be submitted within 10 days before for processing & verifications.

Any forms received after this deadline cannot be guaranteed to be included in the batch of this lottery season and will be reported to the next panel meeting.

To verify that your application has been received and for any questions relating to winning, in which you filled in is very correct, please email your "Claim Agent" OR you may call the organization for notifications.

We are looking forward with a view to hearing from you soonest.

Congratulation.


Annnnnd...here is my response...


Dearest Mr. Dube,

I nearly wet my pants with excitment when I got your E-mail this afternoon. I've been staying up until all hours the past day and a half, chain smoking them unfiltered Camels and checking my E-mail every hour or so hoping to hear from you and finally I DID. I've developed a hacking cough and just have to cut back on my smoking, and now that I've heard from you I can rest easy.

I looked at the pretty attachment form you sent me, but I can't pull it up in our wordprocessor because our Wordstar program won't read the file. Mr. Biggins (the septic tank pumping guy) is coming by this afternoon and i was going to get him to look at this old Radio Shack TRS 80 computer and see if we had anything else on 5-1/4" floppy disk that might read your file.

As a last resort, I was thinking of going down to the Third Pentacostal Holliness church tonight for the Thursday night snake handling service and while I was there using the computer in the church office which my good friend Mildred Stumpjumper said was really fast. They bought it at a flea market with the money that my second stepdaddy left the church after he got run over by the pulpwood truck. They say it has a 1200 baud modem and a 20 meggabyte dohickey to save stuff on where we are still using an acoustic modem at our house. I think that a new computer might be in our future once we get our lottery money, and maybe I'll buy one for my mama and another one for the church.

Any way, I see on your form where you want my personal profile, but you only give me two lines to write down a lifetime of accomplishments. Nail artist, massage therapist, exotic dancer, newspaper delivery technician, culinary delivery, you name it I've done a little of it as I change jobs about every six months or so.

I'm going down to the bank this afternoon to see if they will forget about that time I got caught kiting checks I stole from the turpentine plant office and let me have my own savings account. Me and mama have just about paid off the money they said I mis-appropriated (whatever that means) and I can't elieve that they would be so mean spirited as to keep a lottery winner from having their own account. As a last resort, my mama's rich old third cousin Flussey Mae will probably let me put the money in her account. I'll ask her tonight at the snake handling.

I really look forward to answering all of your questions and getting things moving with the money transfer. Y'all take care now, you hear?

Your Friend

Vaginanal Rogers

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Intemperate Thoughts on Illegal Immigration

(No Trespassing)

Back in high school, in the middle of being bored and goofing off, my math and science curriculum was interrupted by the requirement that I take one year of a foreign language. This presented a bit of a dilemma for me, because I already hated having to study my own language—English—and now they were going to make me study how to write and speak some dang foreigner’s language?

You see, I thought that English class sucked. More specifically, I thought that English teachers sucked. I never once had an English teacher in high school or junior high school that could teach their way out of a wet paper bag. The only two we had in twelve years of free government school that seemed to give a damn was my fourth grade English teacher, Mrs. Ward and my fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Colvin. Everyone loved Mrs. Ward and Mrs. Colvin.

In our school system, you had a choice of two languages. French and Spanish were the options. French seemed to be the more popular choice since a bunch of my peers started taking it in the eighth grade and many took three or four years worth, but I swear that at the end of all that education only two or three kids could say a sentence ten words long in French that actually made sense and would not cause a Parisian to burst in to hysterical laughter. “Par les vous my armpits smell like the subway in July se vous play?” or something like that was all most of them could manage to utter.

Since I had been to Juarez Mexico a couple of times with my family on vacation and survived, I decided that studying Spanish made more sense to me as our country shared a border with a Spanish speaking country. I’m sorry, but my brain is wired to do math and my language skills are a bit lacking, not to mention that my motivation to study language is off the Richter scale in the negative range. After one year of concatenating verbs (hablas, hablo, hablamamos….AHHHHHHHHH) I settled for a grade of B- and had a nervous break down. No more foreign language studies for me…

Never Ever.

So what the heck is the big doodling deal with our Imperial Federal government refusing to defend our borders and capture and deport the zillion Mexicans that have invaded over the past twenty-five years? I am pretty darn sure that if I went wandering into Mexico to set up shop as an engineer or flew down to Belize and hung out a contracting shingle that the local authorities would take note and expedite my return to my Yankee homeland within a few months if not days. So why can't we do the same with all of these maids, carpenters, and greens keepers that are flooding over our borders?


Now we hear that the government is belatedly sending 500 new border patrol agents into the field.

“NACO, Ariz. -- Federal officials yesterday said more than 500 new U.S. Border Patrol agents will be assigned along the U.S.-Mexico border in southeastern Arizona to combat illegal immigration and protect against potential terrorists.

Department of Homeland Security (DHS) officials said the plan will be announced today, just days before the start of a border vigil by an army of civilian volunteers angry about a lack of immigration enforcement by Congress and the Bush administration.


The DHS officials, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, expect that as many as 150 agents will be dispatched to Arizona within the next few days and that the rest will be on the border by midsummer -- when most foreigners try to sneak into the country.


The move follows bipartisan criticism of President Bush's failure to fund 2,000 agents set out in the intelligence-overhaul bill that he signed in December. He has proposed funding for 210 new agents.


T.J. Bonner, president of the National Border Patrol Council union, immediately said the 500 new agents are not enough.”


I just don’t understand why our Federal government insists on not doing one of it’s fundamental constitutional duties. National defense and border protection is their job, not screwing around with Terri Schiavo and meddling with what consenting adults do in their bedrooms.

“White House spokesman Scott McClellan yesterday said the president thinks the country can do a better job of enforcing its borders through a guest-worker program that will allow the government to go after "those who are coming here for the wrong reason -- whether it's terrorists or people intent on criminal activity."

Guest-worker program? I have friends, Neil and Shelly, that are living here legally from South Africa. Neil has attended Grad School and works as a software programmer—legally—but his wife Shelly can’t work because her profession is childcare and she can’t get a work permit. This “Guest-worker” program is a slap in the face to people like Neil and Shelly that take the time and expense to move to the US through legal channels.

Then there is The Minuteman Project, founded by James Gilchrist. This group of citizen volunteers is mobilizing in Arizona on Friday of this week for the purpose of assisting in border patrol. Of course, rather than encouraging and supporting their activities, the Federal government is attempting to discourage and suppress the effort.

“Beginning this weekend, more than 1,000 volunteers will take part in a monthlong border vigil as part of the so-called Minuteman Project. They will focus on a 20-mile area of the San Pedro River Valley west of here, which has become one of the nation's most active corridors for illegal aliens.

The volunteers plan to patrol the border and notify the Border Patrol of the location of foreigners crossing into the United States illegally.

"This is what this protest is all about, enforcing the law," said Chris Simcox, one of the organizers of the Minuteman Project. "And that's why so many people have responded."


Mr. McClellan yesterday said the president "very clearly" addressed the debate over the Minuteman Project last week when he referred to the volunteers as vigilantes after a summit with Mexican President Vicente Fox and Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin.


“It's one thing if people are working along the border, simply to report suspicious activity, and that activity should be reported to the proper authorities -- the Department of Homeland Security officials, who are there to enforce our borders. If people are operating outside of the law, that cannot be tolerated," Mr. McClellan said.


Mr. Fox and other Mexican officials have said they fear that the volunteers will abuse the border crossers.


The volunteers, who will be monitored by various civil and human rights organizations, have been told not to confront the aliens. Although some of the volunteers will be armed, organizers have banned rifles and have threatened to send home anyone who causes a confrontation.”

Well isn’t that a fine kettle of fish. The government won’t defend our borders, and now they are threatening citizens who want to do the government’s job. The emphasis isn't on the lawbreakers, it's placed on the law abiding citizens who want to enforce the law.

Complete, total, crap...

More Fun With Spammers

I didn’t come up with this idea on my own. I used to either ignore these type E-mails or write a nasty reply and forget about the spammer. Steve over at Hog On Ice has an elaborate soap opera going with some financial spammers that features several characters he made up and the outcome is hilarious.

I decided to start my own spammer soap opera and see if I can out spam the spammers. I got this gem yesterday…

FROM THE DESK OF THE PROMOTIONS MANAGER,
INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS AWARD DEPARTMENT,

Date: 02/01/05,
Ref: 474061725/04,

Batch: 7056490902/188,

Winning No: GB8701/LPRC


CONGRATULATIONS


Sir/Madam,


We are delighted to inform you of your prize release on the 2nd January

2005 from the Australian International Lottery program.

Your name "email address" was attached to ticket number; 47061725

07056490902 serial number 7741137002 09/06/2004 This batch draws the
lucky numbers as follows 2-9-22-23-24-30 bonus number 5, which consequently
won the lottery in the second category.

You hereby have been approved lump sum pay of US$500,000.00 (FIVE

HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS) in cash credit file ref: ILP/HW 474061725/04 from the
total cash prize of US16, 000,000.00 shared amongst sixteen lucky winners,
based on their category.

All participants "email address" were selected through a computer

balloting system drawn form Nine hundred thousand names from Canada, Australia,
United States, Asia, Europe, Middle East, Africa and Oceanic as part of our
international promotions program which is conducted annually.

This Lottery was promoted and sponsored by some multinational companies

as part of their social responsibility to the citizens in the communities
where they have operational base.

Further more your "email address" falls within our European

Representative office in Amsterdam, Holland. As indicated in your play coupon and your
prize of US$500,000.00 will be released to you from this regional
branch office in Amsterdam.

We hope with part of your prize, you will participate in our end of

year high stakes for US$1.3 Billion international draw.

Please do contact: Mr.wilson dube for the processing of your file and

also before send any mail please do call him for notification first and
please do not disclose any of your information to any body to avoid double
claim until the money finally get into your bank account good luck.

MR. WILSON DUBE

ALB MUTUAL LOTTERY ORGANISATION

Phone: 27-73-179- 0425.

Fax: +27-11-507- 5811

Email:wilsondube_1234@yahoo.com


ALB MUTUAL ORGANISATION

UNIVERSAL BUILDING,176-180 PARK HURST

BALFOUR-UNITE 1440

GAUTENG 2001.


Please quote your reference, batch and winning number which can be

found on the top left corner of this notification as well as your full names and
address to help locate your file easily.

For security reasons, we advice all winners to keep this information

confidential from the public until your claim is processed and your
prize released to you.

This is part of our security protocol to avoid dual claiming and

unwarranted taking advantage of this program by non-participant or unofficial
personnel.

Note, all winnings MUST be claimed with a specified date; otherwise

YOUR PRIZE will be returned as UNCLAIMED and eventually donated to charity.

Congratulations once again on your winnings!


Best Regards


Mrs.SUZAN DAVIES.

(Co-ordinator).


Assuming the idenity of a thirty two year old single mother of seven, here is what I wrote back…

My Dear Mr Dube,

I am excitedly contacting you at the request of Mrs. Suzan Davies regarding winning number GB8701/LPRC.

Is it really true that I have won?

Oh, please, please tell me that it's so as me and my family needs this money so very badly. Things are not going well for us here in Glynn County Georgia. You see, my father and brother are both in the county jail, falsely accused of running an internet child pornography distribution network and my poor mother is in the hospital recovering from a stroke she had when the police broke into her trailer to arrest my fourteen year old sister for running a meth lab in the basement.

My kids are also driving me crazy and costing me tons of money. My two older boys (Josh is 12 and Mikey is 11) were kicked out of middle school for operating a cock fighting operation in the vo-ag building and my oldest girl Missy (13) went and got herself pregnant by that awful Lester Biggins that runs the Septic Tank Pump-out service. My other four little angels are too young to be incarcerated but the costs of day-care and sitters eats up almost everything I earn on working my second job on the paper route.

It is all I can do to collect myself to go to work each afternoon at the truck stop and I just don't earn enough money as a waitress to pay all of these lawyers and doctors bills. I keep trying to win extra money at wet T-shirt competitions and amateur night at the local strip club, but I'm afraid that my appeal to men has been slightly reduced as a result of the double mastectomy I had last year. Men are such short sighted pigs, you know. Maybe I'll use some of my winnings to buy some implants and new nipples so I can win some of them contests.

Any way, I could certainly use this lottery money and I promise to put it to good use. I look forward to hearing from you about how I can claim my winnings.

Your Friend,

Vaginanal Rogers

P.S. If I send you some money, can you get me some of them wooden shoes you wear there in Holland?

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Everyone Talks About The Weather

(But No One Ever Does Anything About It)

I'm sorry that the posting has been slow recently, but Pat and I have been visiting my Mom in South Alabama for Easter. We did the seven hour drive from the Georgia coast through the "pecan region" of South Georga and into the "Wiregrass" region of Alabama on Friday--in wonderful 77 degree sunny weather.

According to the forcast, we were planning on enjoying beautiful weather with only a slight chance of rain on Sunday. Monday is suposed to be clear.

Besides being limited by a slow dial-up internet connection, we've spent Saturday afternoon and all of last night listening to the NOAA Weather Radio warning us of severe thunderstorms so we couldn't even "dial-up" most of the time for fear of lightening damaging the computer. To make matters worse, the approaching thunderstorms coming in from the southwest blocked the signal on the Direct TV Satellite system so we couldn't even look at The Weather Channel to see what was threatening us.

About 1:00 PM Saturday it started thundering and caused me to stop work cleaning and repairing gutters on my Mother's house. At 1:30 PM the thunderstorm arrived with high wind and a three or four minute hailstorm featuring golfball size hail. My mother's car and truck were in the garage and Pat's Mustang was safely tucked in the carport on the shop building, but my sister's Expedition and my Uncle's minivan were sitting in the driveway uncovered. Both vehcles sustaned damage to the hoods and roofs. My mother's clean beautiful yards were filled with debris beat off of the trees by the hail stones. The Azaleas that were partially in bloom had most of the open blooms knocked off. Immediately after the storm the air smelled like a Christmas tree farm as a result of the pine needles broken off the pinetrees.

It rained on and off all last night and we awoke at 5:00 AM to another severe thunderstorm warning. So much for attending Easter Sunrise Services in town. I talked my family out of going since water was standing 3" deep across the driveway an the girls' dress shoes would have been full by the time they got into the church.

I cooked bacon, eggs, cheese grits, and homemade biscuits for the crowd and had everyone fed by seven AM.

It's starting to thunder again now so I have to log off.

As my title said, everyone talks about the weather, but no one ever does anything about it.