An Important Technical Question

Somebody Has To Ask...


Hey Ladies, if you gave your Husband the new Tiger Woods PGA Tour game for Christmas...

Is your marriage still safe?

And what kinds of entertainment does the game give the "players" between "practice rounds" or after winning the Tournament?

Just wondering...

BTW, the URL is sort of Ironic: http://tigerwoodspgatour.com/home/action

Instead for "/home/action", shouldn't it be "/away/action"???


Heh...

BurpHeading North Again

Hotlanta Here We Come...


It's with a certain degree of reluctance that we leave Lower Alabama this morning because other than cooking and eating I basically didn't get crap done because another 2" of rain was added to the twenty feet foot or so of water that's come down out of the sky here in the past month.

The parts of the land that aren't standing in water are mostly a spongy, soft muddy bog incapable of supporting ladders or vehicles or even the weight of human feet beyond ten feet off the driveway or sidewalks.

Any way, we're again dividing the trip into two segments with the first ending in north Atlanta at my good friend John the Architect's house (I worked for the man almost 30 years ago) for dinner and a little catching up, then on back to Knoxtown midday Sunday to check on things at the Turbo Pup Compound.

Honestly folks, this professional beach bum is ready to get back to my new Company making some money, although I realize nothing much is really going to happen in the business world until January 2nd.

Still there's things that can be done at home in the international headquarters of PET working on software and hardware for delivery in January and UPS should have loaded up my carport with boxes of goodies to support my latest efforts.

That said, time to do a little Internet research on some stuff, a little packing and cleaning up in the kitchen, and then do my usual morning nap in anticipation of 4 hours of insanity on I-85.

Regards Y'all...

My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Stomach Everyone's Stomachs

Sale Prices Yield Massive Over-Cooking...


Burp...

Going into the Holiday season, I swore that this year I'd take it easy and not cook an giant elaborate feast of appetizers, multiple meats, and a half dozen side dishes.

The idea sounded good at first, but then they put big turkeys on sale for $0.69 a pound before Thanksgiving and I couldn't resist grabbing a 14 pounder and shoving it in my freezer for future use.

I made it though Thanksgiving keeping my "minimalist cooking" pledge by accepting an invitation for lunch with my neighbors and their large family--only doing a couple of appetizers which only took a couple of hours to produce.

Then when we finally made our Christmas plans and I realized that there was an opportunity to cook Christmas Dinner and...while suffering for Alzheimer's...I offered to cook my NINE POUND turkey for Pat and Mom and I (remember it was 14, not 9 pounds.)

Further, in keeping with my pledge, the meal would consist of just the Turkey, dressing, and two sides with cranberry.

"Really simple."

SIMPLE, I promised myself.

And remembering the old saying "bird in hand (or freezer)...etc., etc.", I decided it didn't matter that a 14 pound bird will serve ten to twelve, so I just threw that sucker in the cooler and carted it to Lower Alabama.

By the way, the good news is that with a rock solid frozen 14 pound bird anchoring the proceeding in the Cooler we didn't need any ice over our day and one half journey south to support keeping cool itself and the beef tenderloin, fresh vegetables and other stuff we raided from our freezer and fridge.

That turkey was still hard as a rock when I cleaned out the cooler and then put it back into a couple of four gallons of brine solution.

So then after cooking a Fillet/Baked Potato dinner Wednesday night and fresh Pork and Chicken Tamale's with Salsa Verde for lunch yesterday...

burp...

at 1:30 PM Thursday afternoon my assault on turkey, Sage Sausage Dressing, Broccoli/Cauliflower Casserole, and a Baked Mashed Potato dish ensued.

Turns out that the other thing I forgot (besides the size of the bird), was that most of my recipes had been developed to serve a dozen people (scaling toward 30 diners a couple of times in recent memory) so when the dust settled at 6 PM last night, besides being too tired to eat, I had what was probably the BIGGEST PILE OF FOOD ever set in front of three people in south eastern Alabama.

burp...

So just now, after a nap, I got through ripping the tin foil and saran wrap off the top and processing the left overs--read that carving the rest of the Turkey off of the bone--so now it's time to scan the cooking blogs for something to make besides "Turkey Sandwiches."

burp...

In the mean time, If anyone has any good ideas, I'll let you have a couple of pounds of free bird....just stop by...

burp...

Oh, and by the way, just in case I missed you "Merry Christmas"...

M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S ! ! !

Here's Hoping You Get What You Wished For...


My request was pretty simple this year...

I just hope it doesn't end up under the tree.


Heh...


(Shamelessly stolen from here )

Jack Webb Schools Obama

All I Can Say Is...A M E N...

Live from Smyrna Vinings Smynings Georgia

Back In Cobb County...


Well, we knocked the first three hours off the interstate portion of our Christmas journey mid-day Monday and then spent the afternoon in Suburban Atlanta between shopping destinations and the Hotel and restaurant for dinner.

Being back in town less than 24 hours, it's still easy to remember why I felt this "Little Big City" I learned to love in the late 1970's changed so much as it grew that it forced me to want to relocate in 2002. (Even today when we visit the traffic still makes my liver, spleen, and colon spasm uncontrollably.)

Now early this morning, before the traffic jam gets going full force, we're sneaking heading south on I-85 toward Auburn and then cross country to the farm.

Wish us a safe journey, avoiding the cell phone texting morons, and not being jailed for killing someone in an adjacent car with my bare hands while traveling at 75 MPH...if you will...

Holiday Travels

We're Headin' Back South...Praise The Lord...


Once again I have to warn everyone that my blogging efforts are going to be sporadic and hit or miss for a bit---whenever, where ever and what ever--this week as we pack and move south for the next 5 to 10 days.

If it were up to me we would head to Atlanta tomorrow around noon and then on to south Alabama on Tuesday morning, and then after Christmas if I wanted to really get crazy we'd spend next weekend in Cedar Key Florida and a couple of nights back on our little island of St. Simons, but Pat's worried about the cost and the length of time on the road so we may just do Lower Alabama and call it quits after four or five nights.

I'm still working on her psychologically and we'll pretty much know by tomorrow night the final travel itinerary. Of course the weather forecast will also have a lot to do with our plans because we can stay home for free versus sitting in a motel for $150 a night watching it rain.

Wish us luck and safe travels (avoiding the texting while driving cell phone morons) one way or the other...if you will...

Virgil's Pajamagram Pajamaham Company

Forget Lingerie...Give Her Something She Really Wants/Needs


As I wrote back last February in my posting called Virgil's Valentine Bear Company, I enjoy lambasting the seasonal TV commercials that drive me crazy selling stuff to Men that are apparently too lazy to go shopping before February 13th or December 24th and/or pay any attention to what their wife or girl friends (or wives AND girl friends...wink wink...) would like to receive as a gift.

Now it's Christmas 2009, and once again I find myself frequently assaulted with the Pajamagram commercials that come on every 15 minutes no matter what channel you watch on TV.

"when she opens your package, she'll think you've been planning for months..."

Yeah...R I G H T...

You ignorant Dumbass...


But (but not Boston Butt)...

Gentlemen, I'm pleased to announce that in the course of my normal entrepreneurial spirit, and as a public service, that it's time for me to roll out my own personal offering in the market of last minute Christmas Gifts for the ladies on your shopping list.

I think that it's something that's really needed...something that both YOU, the Man giving the gift, AND HER, the woman receiving the gift can enjoy--particularly if your little lady is a real life regular woman rather than some exotic anorexic bitchy fashion model like the girls they show on these ads...



when you may be coming home from work and looking at this every night...



I say forget images like this of you and the little Missus lounging around Christmas afternoon...



Not at my house...NooooOOOO...and you can have it too...

Just e-mail me with your credit card or Paypal account number and for the low, Low, LOW price of $109.99 (or three easy payments of $36.66) you can get a beautiful package that looks like this:



And Inside that fashionable box?

Not just two pairs of Funky flannel pajamas with weird logos and images sprinkled randomly over the strange dry-cleaning only friendly fabric...I'm going to include one of these at no extra COST:



Imagine the look on her face Christmas morning when she opens your package from "PajamaHam."

Order now, and while supplies last by December 21st we'll provide free shipping by Pony Express and our famous limited Botulism poisoning warning.



Heh...