Weird (Rocket) Science

Just when I though, egotistically, that I had seen everything, now I’m pretty sure that I have. A news article I read tonight states the following:

Government researchers have found elevated levels of toxic rocket fuel in milk bought at Virginia stores, according to FDA records released this week.

As a contentious US citizen and consumer of milk, the first thing I want to know is, what made the “government researchers” start looking for “rocket fuel” in cow’s milk--as if cow belches and their posterior gaseous emissions weren’t already enough of a published threat to the environment in the first place? You know what I mean? At first I thought that this Hampton Roads, Virginia news story was a parody, but apparently it is not.

Really, can you just see it?

A bunch of highly educated nerds sitting around the conference table at the FDA on Monday morning, each armed with pocket protectors, glasses taped together with scotch tape, financed by a chunk of government cash, and the boss says: “Hey Virgil, take a half million bucks and go out and look for rocket fuel residue coming out of cows utters.” Is this type of exercise even legal for a grown man to do in most states unless a female registered nurse or some other authority personally witnesses the inspection process?

After making light of this story, I have to come back to one of my re-occuring themes—this story is totally useless, unmitigated crappola, delivered under the guise of being NEWS. Here is where the guilty news organizations give themselves away as wasting our time and where the FDA is exposed as wasting our tax dollars

“The results noted perchlorate in virtually all the lettuce and milk. In high doses, perchlorate affects thyroid function. Researchers tested three samples of Virginia milk and noted perchlorate levels near or exceeding seven parts-per-billion. While there is no nationally-mandated limits, Massachusetts caps concentration at one part-per-billion; California, six.”

Here are the facts on this issue. First of all, even the EPA admits that perchlorate is a naturally occurring chemical. This means that its presence in meat or milk or lettuce is not necessarily NASA’s fault. The FDA Website also mentions that there are other sources of perchlorate besides rocket fuel, including Mother Nature. Further, perchlorate is not automatically called rocket fuel, this is just more media hype. Like I just said--it occurs naturaly in nature.

Back in the 1980’s I did several projects for Morton Thiokol, now called ATK Thiokol. You might not know of Morton Thiokol, but they are a sister company of the Morton company that makes the salt commonly found on your dinner table. There is no coincidence that they both had the same name. They both make products containing salt—just different kinds of salt.

You see, table salt is sodium chloride, a compound containing sodium and chlorine (NaCL). That’s one Sodium atom attached to one chlorine atom. The vilified “perchlorate” is actually potassium perchlorate. That’s two chlorines attached to one potassium atom. So what is the difference to me and you?

Both compounds are mined out of the ground and refined for their end use. Sodium Chloride is refined for human consumption. Potassium Perchlorate is refined to make solid rocket motors that blast satellites and the space shuttle into orbit. The ingestion of both substances interferes with the thyroid function. Ever hear of Iodized Salt? We have to add Iodine to normal table salt to keep it from screwing with our thyroid gland and causing everyone to be running around with a giant goiter growing on their neck.

Any more questions?

OK…End of discussion…