Intemperate Thoughts on Illegal Immigration

(No Trespassing)

Back in high school, in the middle of being bored and goofing off, my math and science curriculum was interrupted by the requirement that I take one year of a foreign language. This presented a bit of a dilemma for me, because I already hated having to study my own language—English—and now they were going to make me study how to write and speak some dang foreigner’s language?

You see, I thought that English class sucked. More specifically, I thought that English teachers sucked. I never once had an English teacher in high school or junior high school that could teach their way out of a wet paper bag. The only two we had in twelve years of free government school that seemed to give a damn was my fourth grade English teacher, Mrs. Ward and my fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Colvin. Everyone loved Mrs. Ward and Mrs. Colvin.

In our school system, you had a choice of two languages. French and Spanish were the options. French seemed to be the more popular choice since a bunch of my peers started taking it in the eighth grade and many took three or four years worth, but I swear that at the end of all that education only two or three kids could say a sentence ten words long in French that actually made sense and would not cause a Parisian to burst in to hysterical laughter. “Par les vous my armpits smell like the subway in July se vous play?” or something like that was all most of them could manage to utter.

Since I had been to Juarez Mexico a couple of times with my family on vacation and survived, I decided that studying Spanish made more sense to me as our country shared a border with a Spanish speaking country. I’m sorry, but my brain is wired to do math and my language skills are a bit lacking, not to mention that my motivation to study language is off the Richter scale in the negative range. After one year of concatenating verbs (hablas, hablo, hablamamos….AHHHHHHHHH) I settled for a grade of B- and had a nervous break down. No more foreign language studies for me…

Never Ever.

So what the heck is the big doodling deal with our Imperial Federal government refusing to defend our borders and capture and deport the zillion Mexicans that have invaded over the past twenty-five years? I am pretty darn sure that if I went wandering into Mexico to set up shop as an engineer or flew down to Belize and hung out a contracting shingle that the local authorities would take note and expedite my return to my Yankee homeland within a few months if not days. So why can't we do the same with all of these maids, carpenters, and greens keepers that are flooding over our borders?


Now we hear that the government is belatedly sending 500 new border patrol agents into the field.

“NACO, Ariz. -- Federal officials yesterday said more than 500 new U.S. Border Patrol agents will be assigned along the U.S.-Mexico border in southeastern Arizona to combat illegal immigration and protect against potential terrorists.

Department of Homeland Security (DHS) officials said the plan will be announced today, just days before the start of a border vigil by an army of civilian volunteers angry about a lack of immigration enforcement by Congress and the Bush administration.

The DHS officials, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, expect that as many as 150 agents will be dispatched to Arizona within the next few days and that the rest will be on the border by midsummer -- when most foreigners try to sneak into the country.

The move follows bipartisan criticism of President Bush's failure to fund 2,000 agents set out in the intelligence-overhaul bill that he signed in December. He has proposed funding for 210 new agents.

T.J. Bonner, president of the National Border Patrol Council union, immediately said the 500 new agents are not enough.”

I just don’t understand why our Federal government insists on not doing one of it’s fundamental constitutional duties. National defense and border protection is their job, not screwing around with Terri Schiavo and meddling with what consenting adults do in their bedrooms.

“White House spokesman Scott McClellan yesterday said the president thinks the country can do a better job of enforcing its borders through a guest-worker program that will allow the government to go after "those who are coming here for the wrong reason -- whether it's terrorists or people intent on criminal activity."

Guest-worker program? I have friends, Neil and Shelly, that are living here legally from South Africa. Neil has attended Grad School and works as a software programmer—legally—but his wife Shelly can’t work because her profession is childcare and she can’t get a work permit. This “Guest-worker” program is a slap in the face to people like Neil and Shelly that take the time and expense to move to the US through legal channels.

Then there is The Minuteman Project, founded by James Gilchrist. This group of citizen volunteers is mobilizing in Arizona on Friday of this week for the purpose of assisting in border patrol. Of course, rather than encouraging and supporting their activities, the Federal government is attempting to discourage and suppress the effort.

“Beginning this weekend, more than 1,000 volunteers will take part in a monthlong border vigil as part of the so-called Minuteman Project. They will focus on a 20-mile area of the San Pedro River Valley west of here, which has become one of the nation's most active corridors for illegal aliens.

The volunteers plan to patrol the border and notify the Border Patrol of the location of foreigners crossing into the United States illegally.

"This is what this protest is all about, enforcing the law," said Chris Simcox, one of the organizers of the Minuteman Project. "And that's why so many people have responded."

Mr. McClellan yesterday said the president "very clearly" addressed the debate over the Minuteman Project last week when he referred to the volunteers as vigilantes after a summit with Mexican President Vicente Fox and Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin.

“It's one thing if people are working along the border, simply to report suspicious activity, and that activity should be reported to the proper authorities -- the Department of Homeland Security officials, who are there to enforce our borders. If people are operating outside of the law, that cannot be tolerated," Mr. McClellan said.

Mr. Fox and other Mexican officials have said they fear that the volunteers will abuse the border crossers.

The volunteers, who will be monitored by various civil and human rights organizations, have been told not to confront the aliens. Although some of the volunteers will be armed, organizers have banned rifles and have threatened to send home anyone who causes a confrontation.”

Well isn’t that a fine kettle of fish. The government won’t defend our borders, and now they are threatening citizens who want to do the government’s job. The emphasis isn't on the lawbreakers, it's placed on the law abiding citizens who want to enforce the law.

Complete, total, crap...