I've Won The Lottery

(Fun with Internet Spammers)

I received this E-Mail Today:

FROM THE DESK OF BARRISTERS CHRIS CRUX KRUGER
PRIVATE BARRISTERS/SOLICITORS AND LEGAL ATTORNEY

GoodDay,

Your name and your e-mail address came up in a random draw conducted by
our law firm, Micheal Ben Law Chambers, My name is BARRISTER CHRIS
CRUX KRUGER esq. A personal attorney to our late client Mr. James Harrison
who worked for an oil firm. Mr. James Harrison a well known Philanthropist,
before he died, he made a Will in our law firm stating that $1.0M (one
million U.S. dollars only) should be donated to any Philanthropist of
our choice overseas.

We have made a random draw and your name and e-mail address was picked
as the beneficiary to this Will. I am particularly interested in
securing this money from the Bank, because they have issued a notice
instructing us to produce the beneficiary of this Will within two weeks
which happens to be you or else the money will be credited to the Government
treasury as per law here. It is my utmost desire to execute the Will of
our late client. You are required to contact me immediately to start
the process of transferring this money to any of your designated
official account. I urge you to contact me immediately for further details
bearing in mind that the Bank has given us a date limit. Please act
fast.

Contact me via my email address as follows:
Email: barristercrux3@ny.com

This is to assure you that this is risk free, but for the purposes of
confidentiality, further discussion on this matter shall be by phone.
You should therefore do well to send me your mobile number so that we
can discuss further on the intending transfer.

Congratulation,

Regards.

BARRISTER CHRIS CRUX KRUGER {Esq.}



Here is my response:

Dearest Barrister Chris Kruger,

I don’t know how to describe to you my excitement in receiving your recent correspondence. Not that I don’t in the same moment lament the demise of Mr. Harrison whom I never had the opportunity to meet, but your communications came at a most opportune time.

You see, my own dear Aunt Flussy, my only living relative, has been suffering from a terminal case of Gout in her big toe and has exhausted all of our financial resources in the past year, spending most of our money betting on NASCAR races and on the purchase of a new set of cosmetic implants for her pet pig, “Piggly Wiggly”.

When I told Aunt Flu about us winning your random drawing, she literally leapt off of the sofa bed in the living room of our trailer home, hobbled across the kitchen, and nearly knocked my deer head off the wall with her crutches in her excitement. Of course, she was sorta mad at first because she thought that calling us a philanthropist was an insult, but when I explained that the word didn’t involve drugs or bodily excretory functions, she was OK.

Aunty Flu has contacted her brother, Uncle Jerm, who is coming in on the bus tomorrow morning and will be bringing with him his prepaid cellphone that he is charging up with extra minutes at the local Seven-Eleven.

We will let you know the phone number as soon as he gets it turned back on and we look forward to helping you in this wonderful endeavor.

Oye Como Va, Senior.

Viagra Rodregez, III