This Just In

Scientists Create Remote-Controlled Flies

"Yale University researchers say their study that used lasers to create remote-controlled fruit flies could lead to a better understanding of overeating and violence in humans.

Using the lasers to stimulate specific brain cells, researchers say they were able to make the flies jump, walk, flap their wings and fly.

Even headless flies took flight when researchers stimulated the correct neurons, according to the study, published in the April 7 issue of the journal Cell.

Scientists say the study could ultimately help identify the cells associated with psychiatric disorders, overeating and aggressiveness."

And in other news, Democratic Party Chairman Howard Dean announced that the DNC had perfected a process to use the headlights of a 1972 Ford Pinto to control his brain, along those of party leaders Ted Kennedy, Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barbara Boxer.

They are optimistic that the process can be extended to all disenfranchised Democratic voters in Florida and Ohio in time for the 2008 elections.



SorryFolks, just kidding…