Free Parking

Back in the early 1990’s I had a business partner that was, shall we say, a total ass. The deal was fifty-fifty, fair and square. I did all the work, and he made all the profit. Such a deal…

My partner was ten years older than me and had a LOT more money than I had, and he basically ran roughshod over me in any situation in which he had an opinion or financial stake. In the middle of our relationship he decided to buy a good sized office building. He got a good deal on it in a foreclosure auction, but he couldn’t possibly fill it up with his own people, so he was scrambling for tenants and cash flow any way possible.

One of those ways was to demand that I move our business into the new building, at nearly double the rent (naturally paid to him) that I was previously paying at our old location. I reluctantly complied, but the commute was nearly double and the fancier space did little for our company’s bottom line.

I hated it.

The building was situated in a parking lot adjacent to a group of three little strip shopping centers clustered around a common parking lot. Our parking lot was basically an asphalt extension of the Shopping Centers’ lots.

There were two restaurants in the adjacent center and in the evening, as is often the case in suburban retail areas, there was a need for overflow parking for “Squid Roe”—a good seafood restaurant next door--and our parking lot was the obvious choice.

My partner, being the workaholic that he was, always worked to 8 or 9 PM and soon noticed the parking situation. What did he do? He had a “shit-fit” and ran out in the parking lot, waving potential diners away from HIS parking spaces.

What an Ultra-Maroon.

He then demanded that the owner of the restaurant pay him rent for using the parking lot. The owner basically told him to perform a “rectal cranial inversion” maneuver (stick his head up his own ass) and a battle ensued.

My partner made a big production of installing galvanized fence posts and chain barriers across the entry to our lot, but before he could lock the chains the first evening the restaurant owner relented, and agreed to provide my partner with a $75 per month credit toward food in the restaurant. It took him three months to recoup the cost of the chains and posts.

I dumped the business relationship within the year, at great personal and financial expense, and thus ended the first couple of semesters of what I call my “Street MBA.”

Having said all of that, I can’t say that I don’t admire the homeless guy in this story that was caught collecting cash from tourists to park in a free lot..

Destin, FL--A homeless man is facing a possible prison term for allegedly charging tourists $5 to park in a free lot during the busy Memorial Day weekend.

Bruce Lee Thompson, 57, was held Monday at the Okaloosa County jail in Crestview on $2,000 bail. He has a July 19 court date on charges of obtaining property by impersonation, theft and a licensing violation. If convicted, penalties could range from probation to more than five years in prison.

The unemployed man set up a sign advertising "party parking," according to his arrest report.

"It's totally ridiculous," said Beverly Canady of The Finishing Touch, a store in the small shopping center where Thompson put up his sign. "We don't mind people parking here, but you just don't come literally off the street and charge people to park."

I know that its private property, but I applaud the guy’s initiative. He found an underutilized, undervalued asset, and capitalized on the opportunity.

I say that "homeless advocates" should take his business model and build on it.

Naaah, they would just rather hand cash and free housing to the “disadvantaged”…