My Least Favorite Dutch Translations

After a great deal of effort, I have started learning to translate the Dutch language into our own familiar English terms.

For instance…

The first thing that came to me is that Van Der Sloot just might be Dutch for “Kennedy”

Deepak Kalpoe is Dutch for "stupid regretful accomplace number one"

Satish Kalpoe is Dutch for "stupid regretful accomplice number two"

Steve Gregory Croes is Dutch for "party boat disc jockey"
(An alternate difinition here would be "idiot who stuck his nose in where it didn't belong." )

Greta Van Susteren is Dutch for “needs to get a life”--as in reference to her coverage of Lacy Peterson, Martha Stewart, Michael Jackson, and the missing chick du jour.

Heraldo Rivera is Dutch for “interminable boring pain in the ass—regardless of which TV network employs you” as in his stories about Al Capone’s vault, old 60 minutes shows, etc.

As I said before, I feel terrible for Natalee Holloway’s friends and family, but honestly…people…enough is enough.