Station Wagons Versus “Country Cadillac’s”

Few need them, and these days, most can just barely afford them…

When I was a little kid back in the 1960’s, most families had to make do with only one car. My family was fortunate enough to afford to own two cars starting in about 1964. I guess that we might have been considered “privileged” by some as a result of my father affording to accomplish this feat.

I didn’t know it at the time, but prior to my birth in 1959 my mother had sold her four-door 1956 Chevy Belair and my dad sold his '56 Chevy 210 2 door hardtop (that later on raced at the Darlington NASCAR track, among others) and used the proceeds to purchase a brand-spanking new 1958 Chevy Nomad Station Wagon because I was on the way via the “stork express” and my parents thought that they needed a family car.

All I could say years later when I found out they dumped a sweet ’56 two door Chevy for a 4 door station wagon was “you did what?”

I’ve guess that I’ve since gotten over it…

My dad always said that he had to own at least one car that could haul people and could get a 4’x8’ sheet of plywood inside—the ’58 Chevy wagon could do both. It was later replaced with a 1968 Chevy Nomad wagon with a 307 cubic inch V-8 that served the family equally well. My dad was happy because it would also haul plywood.

We also operated a 1963 VW Beetle convertible for a few years and later a 1965 VW Beetle served as our second auto. (There was also a brief stint with a 1965 Corvair as a replacement for the 1958 station wagon, but that only lasted a few years before my dad was back into hauling plywood and the Corvair had to go.)

Back in those days, pickup trucks—also known as “Country Cadillacs”—were fairly common in south Alabama, but it was considered a faux pas to drive your pickup truck to church on Sunday or out to dinner on Saturday night—if you lived in town and/or didn’t farm for a living. Of course people did drive trucks to church and to dinner, but the parking lots in town were generally full of two door and four door cars; back then your choice of sport utility vehicles was generally limited to the Chevy Suburban and the Jeep Wagoner.

This brings me to the point of my story this morning…

I just saw an ad on TV for a Volvo XC90 Suv.

A VOLVO SUV?????

Bah Humbug…What the heck is Volvo doing building SUV’s—particularly at this late date in the SUV fad?

I thought Volvo was in the business of building boxy, ugly, under-powered station wagons with heated seats—you know?

Got to protect those delicate European and Yuppy butts...you know?

Shouldn’t Volvo be following Subaru in repackaging their station wagons for the new young families that are rediscovering that type of vehicle? On further inspection, I figgured out that that is exactly what Volvo is doing.

The XC90 is actually a glorified station wagon with big tires and increased ground clearance.

OK, I still think that station wagons ROCK if you want quality transportation and the ability to comfortably haul a little extra crap around town or to the lake or beach when the need arises.

And church and grocery store parking lots—these days they are literally FILLED with SUV’s. If you drive a car you have a hard time finding it hidden behind all of the SUV’s with nameplates like Buick, Cadillac, Mercedes, Acura, Lexus, and so on.

Meanwhile, with gas prices hovering around two and a quarter a gallon, all I hear is bitching and complaining about the cost of driving.

Let me ask you: “You can’t stand the heat?”

“Well get the heck out of the kitchen!”

Stop following the foolish crowd of sheep that have all jumped on the bandwagon since I bought my first SUV back in 1984. I bought my last SUV—a 1995, appliance white, ¾ ton Chevy Suburban with 4 wheel drive (AND posi-traction) and a 454 cubic inch engine, and even back then I had to fight all of the Yuppy mothers that wanted to put in three kids in car seats along with a dog and a couple of bags of grocerys.

I WANTED a Suburban, but I also NEEDED a Suburban for my construction business.

When I bought one, it was what I call a REAL SUV, none of this whimpy stuff thats out there.

Today my Suburban has 185,000 miles on it and it has happily hauled a bunch of plywood (my dad would be happy,) some steel, and a lot of other random freight along with my white Redneck ass all over the east coast of the US.

I must admit that it hurts a little today to pay $95 for 42 gallons of gasoline to fill that sucker’s gas tank up, but it's long since been paid for.

Let me tell you something else you need to know…most of these things they try to sell to you as “Sport Utility Vehicles” couldn’t drive themselves out of our front yard after an inch of rain has fallen—without getting stuck up to the axles and costing you a call to AAA or spending $100 on a wrecker to tow your silly ass out of your mess.

In my opinion, a truck full of leather seats, fancy carpet, with running boards and all kinds of chrome plating and “Eddie Bauer” emblems all round the outside is just a modern, perverted, demented, version of a “FAKE COUNTRY CADILLAC.”

I wouldn’t be caught dead driving one to church.