Lock Your Doors

Better Yet, Take Them With You When You Go…


I’ve personally seen some strange stuff in my day regarding theft and vandalism. Still, like most people that have always lived outside the “inner cities” of America, I continue to have a general expectation of security and safety when it comes to my person and my property.

I also realize that our law enforcement system, while having admirable intentions, is totally &%@$* useless when it comes to preventing most crimes. Unless someone is dead or dieing, it’s difficult to get them to even show up long enough to fill out a report so that you can make an insurance claim.

If someone bothers to steal your kitchen sink out of your duplex (it happened to me) or breaks out your truck windows and steals your “stuff” (twice so far) you have to go to the police station to get a report filed—forget getting them to dust for fingerprints or collect any evidence that might actually allow them to catch the responsible parties.

That’s one of the reasons that we love living here on St. Simons Island—virtually no crime. I don’t believe that there has been a murder here on the Island in the past ten years. I just checked the Georgia Bureau of Investigation data for 2004 and there were only 4 murders in all of Glynn County in that year—an area that includes the “New Town” area of Brunswick that more resembles Haiti than rural Georgia.

Fortunately, our biggest problem here on St. Simons generally consists of arrogant assholes disobeying driving laws while cruising around in cars that cost more than my first house did, and idiot kids running around tossing eggs at cars rather than cooking them for breakfast.

That said, one has to wonder what the law enforcement situation is in NY when you return to your parked car and find one or more of the doors missing:

“A bizarre New York crime wave that leaves car owners doorless has investigators clueless.

The "Whole of the Door Gang" is swooping down on Toyotas across Queens, stunning car owners who find their vehicles with huge gaps where the back doors used to be.

Cops have investigated at least six cases of stolen doors in the last three months in the 109th Precinct, which mostly covers Flushing.

The expensive doors, which can cost up to $5,000 to replace, are nearly impossible to find at salvage yards, creating what some fear may be an emerging black market.”

And here I was, sitting around, worrying about my radio and tires being stolen.

Silly me…