The FORCE Is With ME

Unfortunately…It’s Too Late For It To Really Matter


I have a talent that apparently doesn’t exist in most people. When you are cursed with this talent, you are also blessed with the knowledge to keep your ability to yourself, lest trouble ensue.

Don’t tell anyone, but I’ve realized that I can do what I call “internalize” any number of subjects in life.

That doesn’t mean that I know every single little detail about a subject, and it obviously doesn’t mean that I can make a fortune using my knowledge (just look at my tax returns and bank account balance), but I can honestly tell you that I know just enough about hundreds if not thousands of subjects to talk intelligently with anyone that holds themselves out as a so called “expert” on said subject.

I like to cut to the chase, and I can identify a charlatan and a “wanna-be” in about thirty seconds and believe me when I say that they are everywhere, in every discipline and every single profession.

The bad news is that my ability tends to piss people off. I guess that I come across as a “know-it-all”, but in fact I happen to know about a lot of stuff (pop culture being a singular exception.)

People that skipped school to drink beer and smoke dope all day and currently make their livings based on fraud and the ignorance of the masses hate me. This covers at least 75% of the population. Even worse, really smart people that have PHD’s but can’t pick out clothes that match and have to resort to getting dates from internet dating services despise me for my innate abilities.

And of course almost everyone in the “arty farty” theater crowd down here on the Georgia Coast that can’t carry a tune in a very large bucket, can’t dance because they weigh 350 pounds, but seem to believe that hanging around the theater for twenty years makes them an actor (like me hanging around a used car lot makes me an Oldsmobile) refuse to acknowledge my existence and do everything that they can to marginalize my participation in “the arts.”

That’s OK with me, however, because I’ve decided to start using a “nom de plume”—Max Raymond, and I will enter this next Art’s exhibit and possibly write my books using this “Pen Name.”

This situation is necessitated because, not one, but TWO of the major players in this next art exhibit happen to be wizzened senior citizens, blue-haired bitches, lovely, but mean spirited women, that have crossed swords with me in the past while working building sets for the Island Players Theater Company.

I’m going to make their lives so miserable that they can’t stand it because I’m going to enter their little competition using my “nom de plume”, follow their instructions to the letter, and then let the chips fall where they may.

I GUARAN-DAMN-TEE you that would NEVER let my work into their little Sorority Art Party any more than they would let John Belushi’s character Bluto from the movie "Animal House" into their little cotillion.

Oh...The HUMANITY...someone's going to need a new box of Depends...