I heard that they were at it again Sunday over in Turkey and Pakistan, rioting over those little bits of colored ink on paper published in Denmark last year.
Good gosh I wish that was all I had to worry about--ink on paper--that is.
Being the brutal, insensitive, ignorant, politically incorrect
Here's a sample of the results of my efforts:
Yes ladies and gentlemen, it's our old Warner Brothers friend, Yosemite Sam, sitting right there on the top of a camel's hump.
I'm so proud of my work (it took about 20 minutes.)
But...
Allah forgive me...my mind isn't pure...and as a result of being an infidel, I was wondering...
What if Mohammed actually had a red beard rather than a black beard?
Am I guilty of blasphemey?
Or does my depiction of my friendly "Camel Jockey" in this image make a difference?
Better yet...what if I just admit that I'm a crappy artist and that I INTEND the cartoon to represent the Muslim Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him), regardless of the color of the beard?
Does what I was thinking when I drew the cartoon make me guilty of something like a hate crime here in the US?
No?
Well, Suppose I leave the "peace be upon him" (PBUH) off of my reference, something I find strange any way.
Is lightning going to come out of the heavens and strike me on my ever balding head?
Or is a herd of camels likely to over run our lawn tomorrow at dawn and chew up all the shrubs or something?
Yeah...I thought so.
And another thing--why can't all of us Christians and worldly heathens start demanding that total strangers be required to utter a phrase of words behind every written or oral reference to our name?
Sounds like a good idea to me.
Imagine if once you reached the age of 18 or 21 you could have a religous ceremony or go to court before the Magistrate Judge and have him decree your own personal salutation.
Only $29.99 plus court costs...maybe I'll start a do-it-yourself internet site.
Here's a list of words I'd suggest be used if all of us here in the center of the free world elect to adopt this form of respect:
Jack Daniels Be Upon Him (one of my personal favorites)
NASCAR Be Upon Him (for all the true southerners)
Peter O'Tool Be Upon Him (for all the Lawrence of Arabia Fans) (See Richard Simmons below)
Richard Petty Be Upon Him (for old NASCAR fans)
Jeff Gordon Be Upon Him (see Richard Simmons below)
Ted Kennedy Be Upon You (can anyone survive that injustice?)
Richard Simmons Be Upon Him (for all the fat girls and closet gay guys)
Richard Pryor Be Upon Him (for the comedians in the crowd)
Richard Burton Be Upon Her (she knows who she is)
Oprah Be Upon You (for the daytime TV fans)
Dr. Phil Be Upon Her (for everyone that also watches Oprah)
Betty Crocker Be Upon Him (for the guys learning to cook)
Martha Stewart Be Upon Him (actually a curse)
Corvette Be Upon Him (also an accident description)
Harley Davidson Be Upon Him (for all the guys in their second childhoods)
Philip Morris Be Upon Him (for the smoker in the family)
Cruise Missile Be Upon Him (for the Iranian leader)
Smith and Wesson Be Upon Him (for the NRA guys)
His Lawyer Be Upon Him (for the businessman)
Her Lawyer Be Upon Him (for the adulterous guy losing the house and kids)
Her Lawyer Be Upon Her (very Clintonesque, don't you think)
His Mama Be Upon Him (for the middle aged guy that still lives at home)
Have I ommitted any one here?
Oh well...maybe this isn't such a good idea after all.
I'm just an ignorant blogging Redneck (BBUM)
BBUM means Budweiser be upon me...
It sorta has a nice ring to it, don't you think?
What?
You don't think so?
Who asked you anyway...
So Jihad me if you don't like it, dammit.
snap, click, rack...(the sound of the clip being loaded and the bolt on my 30-06 rifle engaging a round...)
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