Friday, November 03, 2006

If You've Waited Until Now...

Please Just Stay Home

Recently I’ve spent my time sitting here making faces at the TV most of the day because the news has pretty much been reduced to sounding like the newsletter from a pre-school or kindergarten.

"He hit me...she called me a name...they won't let me play with them..."

The Dems have elected to sequester all of their loudmouths the usual suspects the politicians that represent the true face of their party that aren’t up for (de)election--you know…Pelosi, Kennedy, and now Kerry after he stepped in a big pile of stinky stuff earlier in the week. They’re probably duct taped together in a warehouse on the lower east side watching the screech master Howard Dean practice his post election commentary.

On second thought, all they had to do was sail Kennedy out on his yacht with a few hundred cases of Scotch and some Hooters girls and if we’re lucky the SOB will decide to resign his Senate seat and spend his winter years filming Girls Gone Dead Wild videos. Kerry is at his podiatrist trying to get his foot removed from his mouth, and they handed San Francisco hippy chick Pelosi a half dozen new razors and told her to shave her legs and armpits--that should be good for at least a couple weeks of effort. (I’m a cruel, insensitive SOB…aren’t I?)

Meanwhile, in an effort to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, the Republicans have sat on their hands while the perverts in their midst were outed by the major media outlets and they whimpered and murmured about things not being fair.

Dang I wish the Libertarians would get off of their collective butts and field a few viable candidates in anything other than low level local elections.

Here in Georgia we basically have to sit by and watch if the House changes party hands because our incumbent Republicans have a lock for staying in office. Likewise, the state elections for Governor and state representatives are all yawners.

The most exciting thing here in Glynn county is deciding which incompetent imbecile will replace the incompetent imbecile in the offices of county commissioner and on the School Board.

Regardless, I can name the names of the candidates and I’ve followed the events leading up to the election, and in spite of having unlimited absentee ballots available and “early voting” this week, I’m waiting until next week to go cast my ballot because it just feels weird to me to vote in any other manner.

It's sort of like watching church services on TV rather than getting out of your Pjs, putting on a suit, and walking in the front door of the sanctuary on Sunday Morning.

Any way…as my title says, if you’ve waited until this week to figure out who is who and what is going on, I suspect that you have no clue about who to intellegently vote for--particularly in the national elections. I think that it’s better that you just stay home and watch “Oprah” and “Dancing with the Stars” rather than stumbling into a polling place and punching your “chads” based on the D or R symbol behind the candidate’s name.

But then again, just like having the right to vote, everyone has the God given, constitutionally guaranteed right to be STUPID, so who am I to say anything to anybody about their political decisions and the insanity of our current voting process?

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