Speed Bumps & Garbage Collection

Symptoms Of Government Ineptitude


OK People, last time I checked, we as taxpayers and private citizens have allowed our government to spend trillions if not zillions of dollars improving our so called "infrastructure."

Even if you didn't know the details at the time, and in spite of things like Minnesota's recent bridge collapse, I'm pretty sure that the average citizen would offhand say that the expense has been worth it overall, because of the improvements in our collective "quality of life."

Well...I actually don't agree, and I am here to tell you that I believe that there are numerous devils in the details of our governments' efforts, and I'm getting a little tired of bumping my head into Satin and his assistant demon's horns and pitchforks over the past few weeks.

Think of it like this...

A hundred years ago, in the rural south, you probably rode a horse down a path to get from your house to town. If you were lucky, you had a dirt road that would support the passage of a horse or mule drawn wagon or carriage somewhere between you and town.

Likewise, if you were a damn Yankee were a city slicker lived in NY city you might drive your 10 HP Model T Ford along brick or cobble stone streets from your carriage house to your office.

Fast forward to today, and probably 98% of the US population has to go out of their way to even find a dirt road to drive on (unless it is their own driveway), because virtually every road in America is paved courtesy of the local, state, or Federal Government.

Potholes are, of course optional, and by the way, we still have a number of unpaved dirt roads down in the middle of the village here on St. Simons Island.

Once the automobile arrived on the scene in a major way, things like driver's licenses and speed limits also became a government provided necessity.

You name it, someone is always willing to ask for it and some bureaucrat will stick his hand in your pocket to pay for it, and down here on a couple of streets near our new house is another government roadway improvement that I've rarely had to worry about in the past...

The "SPEED BUMP."

Yeah...you heard me correctly...

"sPeEd BuMpS"

I say that "sPeEd BuMpS" prove that the government is, in many cases, totally feckless and useless.

What total government induced, intrusive, annoying, bullshit sPeEd BuMpS are, in my Redneck Libertarian opinion.

Here's how I see things when it comes to sPeEd BuMpS.

We hired the government to build and improve our roads in the first place, right?

We got tired of riding down dusty, rutted, or muddy dirt roads at ten miles per hour; breaking things off of our car and breaking our spines and butts in the bumpy process.

So along came the government, confiscated some tax money from me and you, and paved nice smooth concrete and asphalt roads with things like curbs, storm drains, stop signs, and traffic lights.

Once things got too smooth and car engines got more powerful, along came speed limits and speed limit signs. The theory was that you were supposed to go fast out in the country and on limited access roads, and slow down on city streets and in neighborhoods like mine.

To ensure that the speed limits and other traffic laws were complied with, next the government collected yet more tax money from everyone and set up police departments with police cars and radar and laser guns to catch the people that chose to ignore the rules and to protect the average citizens while they enjoyed their nice smooth asphalt and concrete paved roads and highways.

But wait, the police can't or won't enforce the existing laws, and as a result a few ignorant inconsiderate assholes thoughtless citizens still chose to ignore the speed limit, so guess what the government does in response?

Instead of doing the job they are already taxing their citizens for--enforcing the speed limits--the government takes even more tax money and "un-improves" the nice smooth asphalt roads that they already stole tax money to make smooth in the first place.

They go out and put in "sPeEd BuMpS."

sPeEd BuMpS.

This is a totally flawed concept--treating the law abiding citizens equal with the criminals.

With the installation of sPeEd BuMpS, every single driver has to suffer the punishment that should be meted out only to those drivers that elect to violate the speed limit, just like making crappy government mandated Trash service part of the Property Tax bill punishes everyone, while not stopping the original crime.

Yes, Pat and I have to drive across at least three sPeEd BuMpS each and every time we leave our house and again each and every time we come home, yet we have already seen little punk assed morons in pickup trucks and grown men in Buicks come flying down the road doing 40 MPH in a 25 MPH zone, racing from sPeEd BuMp to sPeEd BuMp, so what has the whole process accomplished?

Actually, the installation of the sPeEd BuMpS was originally motivated to not only reduce speeds on the streets, but also as a deterrent to people that elected to cut through our neighborhood in order to avoid a major nearby intersection and associated traffic light.

Only the government would impose heavy handed measure after measure after measure onto innocent bystanders in the "public interest" and in the name of "progress."

In the mean time, I wonder if I can get the government to buy me some new filling for my teeth and new shocks and springs from my car and truck?

Probably not...

But ain't Government Great?