Robbing Peter to Pay Paul

Suppose that I go into the fish bait business. Not too smart of an idea, some of you might say, but suppose I don’t listen to unsolicited advice and as of tomorrow afternoon I am the proud owner of “Ronnie Redneck’s Bait and Tackle Emporium.” I’m so excited…

The business consists of a small building on a parcel of land adjacent to a county road within a quarter mile of the local marina and public boat ramp. What a great location--I'm gonna be rich. In addition to the building and land, I also purchased the complete store inventory from the prior owner; including a large cage full of chirping crickets, boxes and boxes of night crawlers (worms—for those of you not from the southern US), and an aerated tank full of Shad Minnows. There is also the obligatory assortment of beer coolers, assorted snack displays, artificial lures, bamboo poles, and other fishing paraphernalia.

After spending half a day at the bank and in the lawyer’s offices filling out forms for the real estate closing and eating a celebratory lunch, I finally get back to my new business and begin the task of contacting my suppliers in anticipation of opening for business.

The first thing I am hit with is bad news. The recent bout of cold weather has resulted in a shortage of both crickets and night crawlers. To make matters worse, the local supplier of shad minnows has legal troubles and has had his commercial fishing license revoked for a few weeks. After making several frantic phone calls to the previous owner and some additional suppliers, I finally locate crickets, worms, and minnows. The cost, including extra shipping, is nearly double what I had paid previously. I reluctantly place an order for next week. What do I do now?

The first thing I do is raise my prices. My present inventory consists of over one thousand crickets that sold previously for $1 a dozen. The new price will have to be $1.75. The hundreds of pounds of night crawlers that used to sell for $2 a tub will now cost $3.50, and the hundreds of dozens of minnows will go up from $1.50 a dozen to $3.25. I change my signs accordingly.

When I arrive to open up for business at 5:30 AM the next morning, three pickup trucks full of my first customers are already waiting in my parking lot. I introduce myself, explaining that I purchased the shop from “Ronnie Redneck,” and excitedly unlock and open the front door to the stampede of fishermen.

What ensues is nothing short of a riot. “Price gouging” cry my prospective customers. “We won’t stand for it,” they protest. “Ronnie didn’t charge us these prices” the say as they stomp out of the front door into the parking lot. What a rude awakening to the retail bait business.

As the trucks bearing the angry fishermen spin their tires out of my gravel lot, I pause to reconsider my pricing policies. Let’s see, I only have about three thousand dollars in the purchase of the live bait that was included with the “Bait Emporium.” But, when I sell what I have, I am looking at paying nearly six thousand dollars to restock my store. And I’m already short on cash after putting $25,000 into the down payment. What do I do now?

Am I guilty of price gouging because I want to sell my existing inventory at prices based on the replacement cost rather than the cost I originally paid for the crickets, worms, and minnows?

OF COURSE NOT. What kind of moron would sell their inventory knowing that at the end of the day they wouldn’t have enough funds to replace it in order to stay in business? It is, after all, a business, not a CHARITY, isn’t it?

Now I will get to my point (with my apologies for making you read my bait shop story.) What is the difference between fish bait, hurricane supplies, gasoline, or flue vaccine?

N-O-T-H-I-N-G, that’s what.

This whole concept of the government stepping into the free market and arresting lawfully licensed, reputable businesspersons for adjusting the pricing of any given commodity (regardless of whether it floats, f**ks, farts, or flys) based on market conditions, is insane.

Just because people “NEED” flue vaccine during our current government produced vaccine shortage or “NEED” plywood after the roof of their house decided to obey the laws of physics and disassemble itself into a pile of kindling in their neighbor’s yard doesn’t mean that anyone has to sell you anything at any price.

I needed 42 gallons of gasoline to fill up the tank on my Chevy Suburban this afternoon, but I settled for $25 worth (about 13 gallons) and I didn't blame the station owner.

I hear that people in Hell want ice water, too. Quick, call the government!