My Spammer has Bitten

As you may remember, a couple of days ago I responded to one of the many financial spams that is going around the internet.

I assumed the idenity of Vaginanal Rogers, a thirty two year old single mother of seven who has many problems in life, the least of which are financial.

Her Australian/Dutch friend now seems to be working in South Africa rather than Holland. She (Vaginanal) and I (Virgil) are a bit confused.

Watch as I respond to Mr. Wilson Dube with major computer illiteracy problems as well as dealing with the delima of not having a bank account into which he can deposit my lottery winnings (or steal my life savings.)

MR WILSON DUBE
AUSTRALIAN LOTTERY ORGANISATION
Mutual park
Jan Smuts Drive
Pinelands, Gauteng.7405 .
Phone: + 27 73-179- 0425.
Fax: 27 -11 -507 - 5811
Email:wilsondube_1234@yahoo.com
Website: www.ablottery.com

Attn: Winners,

Ref: 474061725/04,
Batch: 7056490902/188,
Winning No: GB8701/LPRC

We wish to bring to you notice that, the Zonal Board here in South Africa has gotten some information from the Head Office in Australia today and "a form" has been attached in this email for "verification".

Could you please note the following points below:
See the attached application in your email.
With your references identified, download the Application form in Word and fill out the form completely.

Please provide all information on the application as required.

Read all instructions carefully before you fill out the application.

Fill in all the details of your winning & Make sure all information is correct.
Be sure your application matches your resume.

Re-send the form through your email and by fax.

Please note that, this "application form" have to be submitted within 10 days before for processing & verifications.

Any forms received after this deadline cannot be guaranteed to be included in the batch of this lottery season and will be reported to the next panel meeting.

To verify that your application has been received and for any questions relating to winning, in which you filled in is very correct, please email your "Claim Agent" OR you may call the organization for notifications.

We are looking forward with a view to hearing from you soonest.

Congratulation.


Annnnnd...here is my response...


Dearest Mr. Dube,

I nearly wet my pants with excitment when I got your E-mail this afternoon. I've been staying up until all hours the past day and a half, chain smoking them unfiltered Camels and checking my E-mail every hour or so hoping to hear from you and finally I DID. I've developed a hacking cough and just have to cut back on my smoking, and now that I've heard from you I can rest easy.

I looked at the pretty attachment form you sent me, but I can't pull it up in our wordprocessor because our Wordstar program won't read the file. Mr. Biggins (the septic tank pumping guy) is coming by this afternoon and i was going to get him to look at this old Radio Shack TRS 80 computer and see if we had anything else on 5-1/4" floppy disk that might read your file.

As a last resort, I was thinking of going down to the Third Pentacostal Holliness church tonight for the Thursday night snake handling service and while I was there using the computer in the church office which my good friend Mildred Stumpjumper said was really fast. They bought it at a flea market with the money that my second stepdaddy left the church after he got run over by the pulpwood truck. They say it has a 1200 baud modem and a 20 meggabyte dohickey to save stuff on where we are still using an acoustic modem at our house. I think that a new computer might be in our future once we get our lottery money, and maybe I'll buy one for my mama and another one for the church.

Any way, I see on your form where you want my personal profile, but you only give me two lines to write down a lifetime of accomplishments. Nail artist, massage therapist, exotic dancer, newspaper delivery technician, culinary delivery, you name it I've done a little of it as I change jobs about every six months or so.

I'm going down to the bank this afternoon to see if they will forget about that time I got caught kiting checks I stole from the turpentine plant office and let me have my own savings account. Me and mama have just about paid off the money they said I mis-appropriated (whatever that means) and I can't elieve that they would be so mean spirited as to keep a lottery winner from having their own account. As a last resort, my mama's rich old third cousin Flussey Mae will probably let me put the money in her account. I'll ask her tonight at the snake handling.

I really look forward to answering all of your questions and getting things moving with the money transfer. Y'all take care now, you hear?

Your Friend

Vaginanal Rogers