And The Beat Goes On

(More America Bashing)

It seems to me that some people living here in the US just can’t stand playing for a winning team. I don’t know if the psychosis is genetic or environmental (heavy on the “mental”) in origin, but no matter how much success they enjoy personally and regardless of what the US actually accomplishes on the world stage, they just can’t resist the urge to run around publicly wringing their hands and apologizing for the US being the benevolent world superpower that we are.

With this concept in mind, I present to you this morning Ms. Indra Nooyi.

Ms. Nooyi is the President and Chief Financial Officer for Pepsico, maker of Pepsi Cola and zillions of other consumer food products.

Ms. Nooyi is a native of India, but as they used to say on Saturday Night Live, “America have been belly belly good to her” as evidenced by her Master’s Degree in Public and Private management from the Yale School of Management. She also serves on the Yale Board of Directors.

Looking at her credentials, this woman is way above average academically, as evidenced by the undergrad degrees in chemistry, physics, and math, as well as Masters in Finance and Marketing earned in India before immigrating to the US to attend Yale. A really sharp cookie…

So what would make someone with all of this obvious intelligence deliver the kind of speech that Ms. Nooyi delivered this week at the graduation ceremonies for Columbia University MBA’s? Here is part of what she said…

“This evening, graduates, I want to share a few thoughts about a topic that should be near and dear to your hearts: the world of global business. But, I’m going to present this topic in a way that you probably haven’t considered before. I’m going to take a look at how The United States is often perceived in global business, what causes this perception, and what we can do about it. To help me, I’m going to make use of a model.

To begin, I’d like you to consider your hand. That’s right…your hand.

Other than the fact that mine desperately need a manicure, it’s a pretty typical hand…

As I grew up and started to study geography, I remember being told that the five fingers can be thought of as the five major continents: Europe, Asia, Africa, and North and South America. Now, let me issue a profound apology to both Australia and Antarctica. I bear neither of these continents any ill will. It’s just that we humans have only five fingers on each hand, so my analogy doesn’t work with seven continents.

Clearly, the point of my story is more important than geographical accuracy!

First, let’s consider our little finger. Think of this finger as Africa. Africa is the little finger not because of Africa’s size, but because of its place on the world’s stage. From an economic standpoint, Africa has yet to catch up with here sister continents. And yet, when our little finger hurts, it affect the whole hand.

Our thumb is Asia: strong, powerful, and ready to assert herself as a major player on the world’s economic stage.

Our index, or pointer finger, is Europe. Europe is the cradle of democracy and pointed the way for Western civilization and the laws we use in conducting global business.

The ring finger is South America, including Latin America. Is this appropriate, or what? The ring finger symbolizes love and commitment to another person. Both Latin and South America are hot, passionate, and filled with the sensuous beats of the mambo, samba, and tango: three dances that—if done right—can almost guarantee you and your partner will be buying furniture together.

This analogy of the five fingers as the five major continents leaves the long, middle finger for North America, and , in particular, The United States. As the longest of the fingers, it really stands out. The middle finger anchors every function that the had performs and is the key to all of the fingers working together efficiently and effectively. This is a really good thing, and has given the U.S. a leg-up in global business since the end of World War I.

However, if used inappropriately—just like the U.S. itself—the middle finger can convey a negative message and get us in trouble. You know what I’m talking about. In fact, I suspect you’re hoping that I’ll demonstrate what I mean. And trust me, I’m not looking for volunteers to model.

Discretion being the better part of valor…I think I’ll pass.

What is most crucial to my analogy of the five fingers as the five major continents, is that each of us in the U.S.—the long middle finger—must be careful that when we extend our arm in either a business or political sense, we take pains to assure we are giving a hand…not the finger. Sometimes this is very difficult. Because the U.S.—the middle finger—sticks out so much, we send the wrong message unintentionally.

Unfortunately, I think this is how the rest of the world looks at the U.S. right now. Not as part of the hand—giving strength and purpose to the rest of the fingers—but, instead, scratching our nose and sending a far different signal”

Can you imagine having spent $100,000 and two years working on an MBA, having your parents and friends travel to your university to attend graduation, and being bashed over the head for being an “ugly American” by a prosperous foreigner living safely within the borders of OUR country?

WHAT TOTAL CRAP. Ms. Nooyi is certainly entitled to her opinions, but her message is COMPLETELY OUT OF PLACE at a college graduation ceremony.

Pepsico at first refused to release the transcript of the speech, but finally relented this week at the request of Powerline Blog. Ms. Nooyi has also issued a PR Statement on the Pepsico Web Site trying to backtrack from and qualify her position.

I have a suggestion for Ms. Nooyi:

I suggest, if it really concerns her about the way that America is perceived by Europe and the rest of the world, that she pack her belonging, go outside, stand beside the nearest highway, extend the thumb on her right hand vertically, and hitch-hike her sorry Indian butt back to the Asian continent where she belongs.

That should solve her problem quite efficiently...