My head has reached what I call “orbital rotational velocity” and as a result I’m combining TWO serious issues into one single Blog rant this morning.
Grab yourself a cup of coffee (or tea or a beer or your own other beverage of choice,) sit down, and let me tell you what is bothering me.
I copied the title of this posting from the headline attached to this Washington Times article:
President Bush yesterday urged that Iran be hauled before the U.N. Security Council for pursuing nuclear weapons, a move that Tehran said would end its cooperation with U.N. inspectors.
"It's logical that a country which has rejected diplomatic entreaties be sent to the United Nations Security Council," Mr. Bush said during a joint press conference with German Chancellor Angela Merkel.
Just in case you have been too busy raising your kids or working your ass off at your job or otherwise just haven’t been paying attention, let me point out some aggravating little details here that can put this story into perspective.
First of all, Iran needs nuclear energy like I need my own personal aircraft carrier.
Iran with a Nuclear Reactor makes as much sense as allowing me to buy NY City's Holland Tunnel so I can turn it into my own personal condominium.
Hey....I can certainly use the extra space.
Why do I say this?
Because, from what I’ve read and seen, it’s virtually impossible to dig a 2 foot deep hole into the ground in Iran to put in a fence post or plant a shrub without having oil come pouring out of the ground while you are digging.
People in Iran could eat Peanut Butter and Crude oil sandwiches and do their own free oil changes every day of every week of every year on their car engines in their home driveways (if they didn’t all drive camels) and not put a dent in Iran's oil supply.
So what is the bottom line here?
Oil in Iran is cheep, and it is EVERYWHERE.
Yet this stupid asshole...
Mahmood Ahmadinejad, the new terrorist leader President of Iran, has the audacity to continue to claim that his country only wants nuclear technology in order to make electricity for their few citizens that have wires attached to their huts and aren’t forced to spend three quarters of the day on their knees on a prayer mat hoping that Allah will put them out of their misery.
Even if Iran managed to build a reactor, these bigoted bastards would still prevent their women from using electric light to clean their kitchens and see after dark in their huts or tents while hand weaving their hijabs (head scarfs.)
Let's get this straight people:
IRAN DOES NOT NEED NUCLEAR ENERGY TO CONDUCT NORMAL DAILY BUSINESS.
Heck, I bet that gasoline in Iran today costs...what?...a whole fifty cents a gallon?
If you honestly believe that Iran wants to continue their nuclear program for any reason other than obtaining materials for an atomic bomb, then you are a total IDIOT.
Taking...
A...
Big...
Breath...
NEXT........
Look at this map, please...
Canada 0.170
Saudi Arabia 0.145
Mexico 0.130
Venezuela 0.110
Nigeria 0.070
Iraq 0.040
UK 0.036
Angola 0.030
Algeria 0.030
Russia 0.020
Kuwait 0.017
Columbia 0.015
Ecuador 0.010
Gabon 0.010
Total Imports 0.853
What do you see?
Let me help you out a little...
First, we import 85.3% of our oil here in the United States.
That's a problem...BUT
Look at how much crude oil actually comes from (gasp) Saudi Arabia.
See that number?
Only 14.5 percent.
And from Iraq?
FOUR percent?
OH MY GOSH....STOP THE PRESSES.
Didn't the media and all of our lovely concerned liberals say that we invaded Iraq because we wanted their oil, and didn't the media and these same concerned anti-war, Honda Prius driving liberals say that our energy problems all come about because of our dependence on Saudi oil?
No?
Yes?
Look at that map again, and notice that we import 17% of our oil from Canada (somewhere near Alaska's ANWAR reserves) and 13% from Mexico.
THIRTY PERCENT OF OUR OIL COMES FROM OUR NORTH AMERICAN NEIGHBORS...THIS NUMBER RISES UP TO FIFTY PERCENT IF YOU COUNT OUR DOMESTIC PRODUCTION.
(My Update 1/17/06) While Re-reading my own writing... it occurs to me that if the United States of By God America wanted to invade a country...or two.. in the interest of oil, why screw around with a bunch of swarthy, godless islamist jihadists 6000 miles away. Why doesn't President Bush just avoid the aircraft carrier and C-17 transport route, call all of our troops home, and take over Mexico and Canada?
Think about it for a minute. In addition to gaining lots of oil, we'd gain access to all of the construction workers, fruit pickers, and landscapers we could possibly use over the next hundred years, thereby also solving the illegal immigration crisis and the border situation. We'd also get access to some killer Hockey players, but on the down side we'd all have to start saying "eh" and figure out what the hell a "tuque" is.
It seems to me that IF we could double our own domestic oil production by doing a little drilling off the shores of California and Florida (Alabama, Louisiana, and Texas already allow it) and bore a few productive holes in the tundra of Alaska's ANWAR, we could easily tell the bastards running OPEC to kiss it...
And I'd also tell the Israeli's that they have our permission to put Iran back on an oil based electrial program
....BOMBS AWAY
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